Work Text:
The Snake Master
Narrator: In the future, there was an evil rejected half-Jedi half-sheep named Estar and his apprentices Luigi and Luke Skywalker. Unfortunately, he had a task to deliver snakes to the other side of the earth.
Estar: Ba-a-ah, stupid snakes, they’re not going to do anything good, just slither away, my apprentices.
Narrator: He went to what he thought was his ship.
Luigi: Master, master, will we go on our spaceship to do the deed? You do have the snakes in your pocket.
Estar: Listen my apprentices, Do you think I care!? I will kill them. Now don’t be slow m’ boys, get on the ship.(gets on ship).
Luke Skywalker: Why are you doing this!? They will not be any harm to anything! I thought we were the good guys here!
Luigi: We are the good guys!
Luke Skywalker: Well I'm leaving, going to the good side.
Estar: OK. You’ll be sorry.
Narrator: He saw the star on the trapdoor to the captain’s quarters, and was very surprised. His ship had two snakes there!
Estar: Oh no! It’s my archenemy Zezaline’s ship!
Luigi: But master, what are we going to do?
Estar: I shall deliver the snakes here... If not, there will be a laser whacker at your throat!(walks in room)
Narrator: The room was large and had two conveyor belts in the corner. Estar walked over to the conveyors and peered down each.
Estar: B-a-a-a-ha ha! This one leads way down and THIS one leads to a crate in a nearby space-field! I’ll send them into the crate where they shall be crushed by the space weight!
Narrator:Luigi’s clones sent the snakes down, one by one. Each time a snake went into the crate Estar would yell:
Estar: And another worthless snake goes to the death!
Luigi: Yes, yes, master!
Narrator: Estar grinned evilly. He knew that each snake put in the crate would attract more space weight. He drew his laser whacker in triumph.
Narrator:Zezaline smelled Estar’s laser whacker. She went to the room where he was.
Zezaline: What are you doing in here?(draws laser whacker)
Estar: Zezaline, my archenemy!(brandishes laser whacker)
Luigi : Oh no! You have driven me to evil! Luke was right! You are evil! I shouldn’t have trusted you.
Narrator:Luke Skywalker, Zezaline’s assistant, runs in.
(REALLY epic laser whacker fight)
(Zezaline corners Estar)
(Estar grabs smiley face button on wall and holds it in front of him)
Estar: I’ll change my ways!( Zezaline + Luigi advance toward Estar)
Luke Skywalker: Wait, he’s changed his ways, leave him alone.
Luigi : I can’t trust him.
Luke Skywalker + Estar: PLEASE!!!
Zezaline:(puts away laser whacker) He has changed at last.
Narrator: Suddenly... CRRRRACK! The snake crate exploded from the space
weight on it!
Estar: OH NO! The snakes! I must save them!
Narrator: Estar jumped out onto the conveyor belt, reached out, and grabbed all the snakes. He then put them on the right conveyor belt and everyone lived happily until we reach that time in the future.
THE END!