Chapter Text
Glimmer doesn't know how long she lies there, watching the shadows on the walls.
She breathes in the slow, hazy memories of her toddler self, lying here. Angella would always insist that she sleep in her own bed, but she'd often find herself slipping past the guards and padding down the long hallway to her parents' bedroom, right into the arms of her father. Come morning, Micah would say he had absolutely no idea how his daughter wormed her way into the bed, but Glimmer knew better. She knew he was the one that left the door open for her.
The bed seems so needlessly big now, without them. Glimmer rolls onto her back. She'll watch the shadows on the ceiling, for a change.
How long has it been? She hasn't slept, hasn't eaten since they got back from the Fright Zone. She imagines all of Bright Moon must know by now. Word must have spread to the other kingdoms as well.
So far, no one has bothered her here. It suits her fine. She could just stay here as long as they let her, breathing in the scent of her mother lingering in the room, on the pillowcase.
Or she could run. She won't, but she could. She could go somewhere far away where they won't know her and won't know that her strength is simply diluted from her mother's, passed down.
She could talk to Shadow Weaver. Maybe learn some real magic. She has to be strong now. Shadow Weaver could make her strong.
No.
But it worked last time. She remembers the thrill of power coursing through her, finally knowing what it's like to be as strong as she feels.
She craves that feeling now. She needs it, if nothing is left. It can fill her up and turn her into someone whole.
The glow of her magic pulses in her hands. Flickers, fizzles out.
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She stays awake for days. She's never been a morning person, but when you never sleep, you get to see the sun rise. It's beautiful, but her favourite time is when the sky goes inky dark except for the pale light of the moons. That's when she knows for sure she won't be disturbed.
Or thinks so, anyway. On the third day, Bow silently slips into the room with a large basket of… something. Upon closer inspection, Glimmer realizes it's food and… all of her clothes.
Bow sets it down with a thud. His voice is low and quiet. "I didn't know what you'd want to wear so… I brought everything."
She's about to ask what's wrong with what she's wearing already, until she comes to the realization that she hasn't changed her clothes since they got back. She's gotten used to the dirt and sweat clinging to her like a second skin.
An unexpected wave of embarrassment rushes into her. She must look awful. She must seem so pathetic, lying here.
"I'm fine, Bow. You can go."
Oh, but he knows her too well. The hoarseness in her voice gave it away. He reaches over to grasp her hands in his.
"Hey."
Her fingernails are caked in dirt. She just stares down at her hands. She won't cry if she doesn't look at him.
He removes one hand from hers to set it on her cheek, and the touch is so warm and gentle she nearly falls apart. "Glimmer. Let's eat something, okay? It doesn't have to be a lot."
She lets out a small, held sob. "I don't know if I can."
"I stole, like, a lot of bread rolls from the kitchen, so-"
"No, I just- I-", she sobs. "I can't- if I get up, it means- I have to be- a person again, and I-I can't do it, Bow. I can't."
She curls up, cradling the pit in her stomach, the painful deep nothing that's settled there. He must see her now. He must know there's nothing salvageable in this.
But his hand is still on her cheek, wiping away the tears as they come.
"Do you think you're able to sit up?"
She sniffles. "I think so."
She does.
"Oh, you did it!" He wraps her in a hug that would feel patronizing if it weren't Bow. She knows he's just proud of her.
Moving her limbs is torture. Her whole body is heavy and she feels disconnected somehow, as if this body isn't hers. She holds on to Bow as she stands.
"Okay. I'm up… where are we going?"
"I thought that a bath would be nice. Then we can pick out some clothes and eat the twelve bread rolls I stole."
"Th… twelve?"
"In my defense, it was for a good cause." He squeezes her hand.
Glimmer lets out a weak laugh. "Cause I'm Queen Glimmer now?"
"Cause you're you Glimmer. And you Glimmer deserves everything she wants. Including all this bread."
She laughs- stronger now. "Okay, I'm convinced."
"First we gotta take a bath though."
The trip to her bath usually doesn't feel long, but without her teleports and body doing what she tells it to do, it's bound to be agonizing. She grips Bow's hand a little tighter. It's okay. He's helping to keep her steady.
She can do it.