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“Are you sure you’re okay?”
His hold on the bag of chips tightens. This has to be the hundredth time Poe has asked him that.
“Don’t I look okay to you?” He asks, before he shoves another handful of chips in his mouth.
“You seem a bit…” Poe falls quiet, and Ranpo stops eating.
“A bit?”
“You’re acting weird.”
“I’m eating. How is that acting weird?”
“Please just stop lying already. Even Karl is worried about you.” Poe points at the raccoon on Ranpo’s lap. Karl makes a noise as though the little devil agrees with him, and Ranpo furrows his eyebrows and shoos him away. Karl makes another noise and climbs on Poe’s shoulders. That little traitor. “I’m worried about you.”
“Well, you’re wrong. Both of you. I’m fine.”
“I can tell it’s important to you. You don’t talk unless you’re spoken to, and you keep eating and eating nonstop and I just have a feeling that－”
“I told you, I’m fine, just leave me alone!” Ranpo ignores the pang of guilt he feels when Poe flinches. He shouldn’t have raised his voice, he knows. It isn’t like he can do anything about it now though, so Ranpo swallows the newly formed lump in his throat and shoves more chips into his mouth.
“You’re the one that called me, and- and told me to come over. I didn’t mean to upset you, I just thought- I thought-” Ranpo notes the crack in his voice, the way Poe’s nails dig in the skin of his arms to keep his hands from shaking, and he wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole right then and there. Here Poe is, trying to comfort him for hours now, and what is Ranpo doing? Being an asshole. Great. “I can leave if you want me to.”
“No, don’t-” He throws the now empty bag of chips on the ground and curls himself in a ball. “Don’t leave. I just- it’s not that easy to talk about it.”
“It will make you feel better though.” Ranpo feels the couch shift beside him, and he doesn’t need to look to know that Poe’s sitting beside him. Karl’s fur tickles at the back of his neck, but he won’t complain. It’s comforting to know that the raccoon trusts him enough to sit on his shoulders. “What happened?”
“They were just being stupid, and rude… and stupid.”
“Did someone say something they shouldn’t have?”
“Oh, they said a lot of things they shouldn’t have.” Ranpo’s grip on his pants tightens. Whether Poe doesn’t notice, or if he does and chooses not to comment on it, Ranpo doesn’t know.
“They?”
“Well, not all of them, but- yes. I wish you were there, I was ridiculously outnumbered.”
When Ranpo glances at Poe from the corner of his eye, he’s fidgeting with his fingers, looking everywhere but him. It makes the smallest smile touch Ranpo’s lips – for some reason he likes it when Poe gets all shy around him – but he’s quick to make it disappear. This isn’t the time.
“What did they do exactly?”
“You know how Kunikida is.” Ranpo says. “And how he sometimes gets upset when I don’t finish all my work on time?”
“Yes.” Poe drags out the word and frowns. “But that is kind of an everyday thing though? I don’t see how-”
“Ah, but you didn’t let me finish!”
“Right. Sorry.”
“As I was saying – before you went on and jumped into conclusions – Kunikida got mad because I didn’t finish writing some stupid report; I don’t even remember what case it was on! The problem is that he had already been mad at Dazai, and since he couldn’t find him, I was the one who had to face Kunikida’s anger and frustration at the both of us, because Dazai was out doing God knows what.”
Poe blinks twice. He opens his mouth but closes it as soon as he does so. There’s silence for a few moments, before he finally mumbles. “I thought you could easily deal with Kunikida’s, uh, mood swings?”
“The problem wasn’t what Kunikida said.”
“Then what was it?”
“The president happened to be walking by… and he-” Ranpo gulps, taking a few short breaths through his nose. His voice cracked, and wasn't going to let it happen again. “He said some things.”
“Is that why you left earlier than usual?” Only when he talks does Ranpo notice that Poe has placed a hand on his shoulder. He is surprised by how soft and warm it is, how it distracts him from the numb pain in his chest as he talks.
“I didn’t leave because I wanted to. He told me to leave.”
“I’m sure he didn’t-”
“No, you weren’t there and you don’t know how he- how he just- looked at me and just-” His vision is swimming, and he shuts his eyes as though it’s enough to make the tears disappear just like that. “I don’t want to talk about it. He probably doesn’t even know why I got as upset as I did.”
“I see.”
Ranpo expects him to say something else, anything that could get his mind off of thinking about what happened, but Poe says nothing, and there comes a long silence after that.
Just when he thinks his mind is eating him alive, Poe chuckles. It’s short, but it’s loud enough for Ranpo to open his eyes and look up at him.
“What is it?”
“Ah, n-nothing, just-” He reaches over to take Karl and place him on his lap. “He was moving around, I’m surprised you didn’t feel it. He’s probably hungry.”
Ranpo stands up. Hands on his hips, he keeps his head high as he makes his way into the kitchen. “Let’s see if I have anything that can satisfy his hunger.”
He comes back with a few cookies, some with and others without chocolate. He hands the chocolate ones to Poe as he feeds Karl the other ones, not really asking for Poe’s permission to do so; he’s fed Karl more times than he cares to count.
When Karl is done eating, he’s a bit more like himself. He sits on Poe’s lap and closes his eyes, probably taking a nap.
Ranpo fights the urge to do the same.
“These are for you.” Ranpo glances at the chocolate cookies. He leans back and buries his body deeper into the couch, as though if he could make himself smaller, he wouldn’t be as embarrassed.
“F-For me?”
“Yes. For you. That’s what I said.” Ranpo feels his cheeks warm up, and he clears his throat. “Now eat them before I change my mind.”
Poe does just that. He’s painfully slow at first; he’s chewing and gulping so hesitantly that Ranpo almost thinks he doesn’t like the taste, but he becomes more confident the more he eats, and Ranpo lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Thank you.” Ranpo says it so quietly he’s almost scared he’ll have to repeat himself, but Poe stops eating and hums. He doesn’t say anything, but Ranpo can tell that hum is something like you’re welcome or maybe even anytime if he’s lucky, just the way the cookies are something like a thank you for being there for me when I needed you the most and I owe you big time.
They don’t talk much after that, but Ranpo knows he really doesn’t need Poe to talk to make him feel better. All he needs is to feel Poe’s shoulder brush against his, and all he needs to hear is Poe’s breathing fill the awful silence of his room along with his own.
Poe is there with him, and that’s more than enough.