Chapter Text
GC: VR1SK4
GC: WH4T
AG: Ugh, Terezi please don’t make me explain this for the 8th time.
AG: It’s such a simple concept.
AG: Even the most pathetic wriggler could understand!
AG: I don’t understand why you are making such a fuss a8out this.
AG: You see:
AG: Everyone knows FLARP is a game for girls.
AG: And when we say that, we mean that it's extremely 8rutal and hardcore.
AG: I see no reason for anyone to think “a game for girls” would mean anything else.
AG: 8ut anyway.
AG: 8oys just aren’t fit for FLARPing.
AG: That is an universal truth.
GC: VR1SK4 1 DONT UND3RST4ND
GC: YOU 4R3 4 8OY 4ND YOU DO JUST F1N3 ON FL4RP
AG: 8ut no one takes me seriously!
AG: They keep going easy on me
AG: Just 8ecause i'm a 8oy
AG: It’s like I’m stuck on easy mode!
AG: No one respects people who play easy mode!
AG: I want to play with the 8ig 8oys! or the 8ig girls, ugh.
AG: I want the glory of hard more FLARPing.
AG: And if I want them to take me seriously.
AG: I need to pretend to 8e a girl
GC: VR1SK4
GC: WH4T
Uuuuuuuugh.
This is so frustrating for you.
Your name is VRISKA SERKET and oh boy, do you love FLARPing! The only problem is that boys just don’t have the levels of intensity and brutality for this level of roleplaying. Not you of course, you are the most brutal FLARPer there is and no Boy-Skylark would even dare to challenge you!
but others don’t quite agree with you. They don’t see your greatness. They keep putting you with the other boys in lesser league or whatever. Seriously! They keep telling you over and over how you aren’t fit for this, you aren’t a girl, you can’t play. they keep underestimating you and going easy on you and you are SICK OF IT.
Of course, the only natural course of action is to roleplay as a girl and, of course, you will be dead if the find out, not in a cool roleplay way, but in a much less theatrical way. Gender faking is a crime under the Condesce’s tyranny. Long live her name.
That is why you gotta do this right. Nobody can find out.
You look at the shopping bags full of your latest purchases: cerulean lipstick, “Shine your proud blood color for everyone! Lowbloods can die I guess.”, cerulean eyeliner, “Sharp enough to *literally* kill a man.”, and a long wig made made from hoofbeast hair, dyed the darkest black.
You look at it with terror and awe. It’s like the shopping bags could kill you, it’s like they would just draw a gun and kill you. Or give you life. Is there a difference?
This is so wrong Vriska, what are you even doing, says your inner voice, you haven’t been hearing him much lately, Vriska what are they going to think! Vriska serket, executed for gender faking? We both know you can die in so much better ways than this! At least be a martyr or a scourge to the empire or something! Anything! Just don’t die a gender faker.
Well!!!!!!!! That’s why we are doing this right and not getting caught!
...
AG: Anyway Pyrope, I need your help on makeup.
AG: I already have my 8est man on the jo8 for fixing my Marquise costume.
AG: Just some little changes to fit my 8ody 8etter and 8ring my curves out.
Your curves? Hahahahahahahaha. Don’t lie to yourself Vriska, you have no curves. You are the definition of a stick! Look up the dictionary for stick, there is a picture of you there. The first time Terezi saw you she was deeply concerned for your health.
But well, lowblood girls that don’t have proper food don’t have much curves either. Besides you’re five! What creepy asshole would expect for a five sweeps old girl to have curves? Don’t answer that.
GC: FUCK, YOU 4R3 R34LLY GO1NG ON 1N TH1S HM?
AG: Yeah Pyrope, you know me.
AG: Why would I joke a8out this.
AG: Why would I explain to you this extremely simple concept 8 times and risk my life 8y stepping in troll claire’s to 8uy this fucking stuff.
AG: I’m joining the 8ig girls league and I’m gonna 8e the most 8rutal FLARPer that you respects.
GC: YOU KNOW YOU C4N D13 R1GHT?
AG: Yes!
AG: Pyrope, for the the last time! I know how dangerous this is.
AG: And I know how worried you are, so please help me out.
AG: If you don’t want me to die then help me make this convincing!
AG: C’mon here already.
GC: UGH, 1 C4N’T B3L13V3 1’M GONN4 B3 PL4Y1NG M4K3UP W1TH VR1SK4
GC: 1 B3FR13ND3D YOU 3X4CTLY B3C4US3 1 THOUGHT 1 WOULDN’T H4V3 TO D34L W1TH TH4T BULLSH1T L1K3 TH3 OTH3R G1RLS K33P DO1NG 4LL TH3 T1M3
GC: 4NYW4Y.
GC: OMW.
…
TEREZI: UGH, VR1SK4 ST4ND ST1LL!
VRISKA: Then st8p poking my ey8s!
TEREZI: D1D YOU S3R1OUSLY N3V3R DON3 M4K3UP B3FOR3? TH1S 1S NORM4L, YOU GOTT4 POK3 YOUR 3Y3, 1TS P4RT OF WOM4NHOOD!
VRISKA: Ugh I don’t c8re a8out womanhood, th8t sounds like 8ullshit, I just want people to think I’m a g8rl!
TEREZI: TH4TS SUP3R CRU3L OF YOU?
VRISKA: You say wom8nhood is 8ullshit all the time!
TEREZI: W3LL, 1TS D1F3R3NT! 1 4CTU4LLY H4V3 TO L1V3 1T!
VRISKA: Dum8 gender stuff. I f8cking hate this.
TEREZI: OK SHUT UP, 1M DON3
Terezi grabs a mirror for you to look at the results. Fuck your heart is beating so fast you can’t even open your eyes.
TEREZI: YOU N33D YOUR 3Y3S OP3N TO S33 1T YOU SP1D3R 1D1OT
VRISKA: I’m nervous…
TEREZI: OF WH4T!?
TEREZI: 1T’S JUST DUMB P41NT ON YOUR F4C3
TEREZI: OP3N YOUR 3Y3S 4LR34DY 1 C4N’T ST4ND H3R3 4LL D4Y
VRISKA: Ugh, here it goes.
Slowly, light bathes your eyes as you look into your own reflection.
…
You are paralyzed for a moment. You expected more. No, this isn’t right.
VRISKA: Pyrope, give me the wig!
TEREZI: UGH H3R3’S YOUR DUMB W1G
You put it on. And adjust it. And adjust it again. What’s the best angle? Is this lightning good? Maybe you should hide your face more.
You are.
Disappointed.
VRISKA: Pyrope, th8s is horri8le! I look like a cl8wn!
VRISKA: And y8u know that imp8rsonating a p8rple 8lood is a much higher cr8me than to fake g8nd8r.
VRISKA: Do you want to dou8le kill me?
TEREZI: YOU’R3 W3LCOM3!
TEREZI: YOU KNOW TH4T 1 H4V3 N3V3R DON3 M4K3UP B3FOR3 R1GHT?
TEREZI: 1’M 4S BL1ND 1N TH1S 4S YOU 4R3 ON TH1S
TEREZI: UNL1K3 4LL TH3 OTH3R TROLL G1RLS, 1 DON’T C4R3 4BOUT H4V1NG MY F4C3 FULL OF P41NT WH1L3 1 F1GHT FOR MY L1F3
TEREZI: M4K3UP 1S BULLSH1T 4ND 1 H4T3 1T
VRISKA: Ugh, if you aren’t going to help me, then leave! may8e Maryam can help me with it. he also loves gender faking.
TEREZI: 1T’S SH3
TEREZI: SH3 GO3S BY SH3/H3R PRONOUNS 4ND YOU KNOW TH4T V3RY W3LL
TEREZI: 4ND SH3 1SNT “G3ND3R F4K1NG”, SH3’S TR4NS 4ND YOU SHOULD R3SP3CT TH4T
VRISKA: Well may8e he’s so good at it he even fooled himself!!!!!!!!
TEREZI: VR1SK4!
Terezi’s voice isn’t just a shout. You are used to shout at each other all the time. This is much louder, you fucked up.
The panic sends you jumping out of your chair, hands hastily trying to fix the wig that came undone. Why do you even care about this stupid thing? It barely looks any good.
TEREZI: LOOK, 1 DON’T C4R3 YOUR W31RD QU3ST FOR G3ND3R F4K1NG OR WH4T3V3R YOU C4LL 1T
TEREZI: 1 DON’T C4R3 HOW MUCH YOU W4NT TO L1V3 1N “H4RD MOD3” BY PR3T3ND1NG YOU 4R3 4 G1RL
TEREZI: DO YOU 3V3N L1ST3N TO YOURS3LF?
TEREZI: BUT K4N4Y4 H4S 4N 4CTU4L PROBL3M, 4ND YOU H4V3 TO R3SP3CT H3R
TEREZI: UNL1K3 YOU WHO JUST M4D3 ON3 UP B3C4US3
TEREZI: B3C4US3 TH1NGS 4R3 TOO 34SY FOR YOU?
TEREZI: VR1SK4, YOU 4R3 UNB3L13V4BL3
TEREZI: TOMORROW W3 H4V3 FL4RP, SHOW UP HOW3V3R YOU W4NT
TEREZI: JUST DON’T D13, OK? YOU 1D1OT
Just like that, she grabs her stuff and leave.
You look to the mirror again. It’s almost sunrise and your FLARPing session is at the start of the night. You can either go to sleep or spend the whole day practising your makeup.
You look at it more. The lipstick is not proper and the eyeliner is dull and not sharp at all.
But it looks good? or rather, it looks that it could look good.
Terezi told she never had practise, so maybe if you had some more you could make it better?
You check your phone. Kanaya just got online.
He is some kind of weirdo that stays awake during the day and there is… that!
Trans? What nonsense is that.
But still, he could give you some honest advice on makeup.
Ugh, you don’t need that type of drama in your life. You’d rather just spend the day awake until you learn how to do it right.
It’s gonna be a long sleepless day.
Gooday Vriska.