Work Text:
Derek was going to lose his mind. All the colors and fittings and crafts that Lydia made him participate in was borderline ridiculous. He stared blankly at the ceiling, stiles snuggled closely into his side, fanning hot breath over his face. Derek took this moment to look over the face of his entire world, whose deep breathing caused his chest to rise and fall against Derek's rib cage. The closeness and touch caused Derek's heart to swell in adoration.
After the whirlwind of excitement of them getting engaged they all had settled around, smiling and playing games with Sarah, Stiles never too far from Derek's side, when Lydia all but screeched “When do you want to start planning?” the buzzing coming from her sheer delight was contagious, and Derek had thought it a good idea to allow the Banshee to take the reins and plan their wedding.
“Stiles, when do you want to start planning” the alphas face was pressed firmly in the humans shoulder, arms wrapped around Stiles, fingers hooked into the front belt loops of the younger man's pants. Derek listened closely to the beat of stiles’s heart, the smell of his mate happy, akin to contentment.
“Uhh, you want me to decide, is that really wise sourwolf, I think we should set a date first, before we start planning anything, because we have to make sure that the pack will be around, and that Kira and Scott won't be busy with Kennedy, since he's due soon, and newborns require a lot of time and effort. Also, you know that Erica and Boyd are starting to think about starting a family. Then there's also the fact that Jackson and Ethan are still going through the adoption process…There’s a lot we have to plan around der, and the biggest thing is making sure we have a date that works for everyone.”
Derek's heart started to slam against his chest, Stiles was so caring and lovely, all he asked was when he wanted to start planning. But based off the rant he was on, he'd already thought about it. Derek easily swept stiles up to silence with his lips. A small noise escaped the human as he practically melted against the alpha’s chest. The kiss hindered due to their position, Stiles’s back to Derek’s chest, the kiss calming both their racing hearts, flooding them both with calm and tranquil energy.
When Derek pulled back he was staring in the drooped and glassy eyes of his lover. “We can start in a month, Okay Lydia?” Derek called, still looking into the eyes of his Mate. “now everyone out, we will see you all next week”
The next few days are easy. So easy Derek starts to panic a little bit, when has life ever been this easy, this perfect, not since before the fire. But it feels so good, and Derek starts to feel guilty because why does he deserve to be this happy when Cora is refusing to speak to him, and Peter is out doing god knows what, and the rest of his family is a mix of ash, dust and grief. Slowly he starts the descent into his ever present sadness, then stiles comes breezing in.
His smile is large, beautiful and his eyes look breathtaking in the golden sunset flooding through the windows. Derek steels himself, feeling caught and he knows Stiles can see right through him, through the mask of indifference he's expertly put on his face.
“Derek?” Stiles's voice is soft, supple and it slides over Derek's spine and settles in his stomach. Derek wants to snap at the feeling, he doesn't deserve it, the scowl that sets on his face doesn't even surprise stiles. Instead the human swiftly crosses the room and stands in front of Derek, the softness of his features caressing Derek's beating heart.
“You're okay” Stiles says, and it's not a question but its not a demand either. Tentatively Stiles puts his hand on Derek’s arms, running long, warm fingers over the expanse of Derek's skin. “Want to talk about what's on your mind?” the sound is slightly muffled, Stiles’s mouth resting against The shoulders of the older man. Does he? Does Derek want to bring up his dead family and what he feels like his shortcomings are, and really seriously ask Stiles if he wants this.
A soft shake of his head has stiles retreating, “okay, want to talk about something else” Stiles absolutely knows the answer before Derek opens his mouth because all of a sudden the alpha is being tugged toward the couch. The TV is being turned on and Stiles is pulling up Orange is the New Black, picking up where they left off. Derek feels himself relax, the weight of stiles against him grounding him to the now. The harsh and blood splattered memories drifting away, leaving him here, in comfortable silence with his mate.
“I love you” it slips from his lips soft and sure and Stiles’s heartbeat upticks before he turns and presses and kiss into Derek's wrist.
After too many episodes and drooping eyes, Derek pulls stiles to bed. It's clumsy and sleepy and it just warms Derek further. “M’bed” Stiles mumbles before tripping again and Derek just scoops him up and carries him.
When he falls into bed, arms wrapped tightly around the skinny frame of the light of his life, it takes some effort to fall asleep. But he does, Stiles has always been able to chase away the nightmares, but there's something about tonight. Something about how he's let the sadness fester and his self-loathing lingers clinging to his heart and solidifies his bones.
It makes him heavy and unable to move, his eyes pop open, the glow of red against the ceiling. The sinking feeling of fear laces through him and he sees something. In the corner of his eye its a body and its slinking its way to him. He tries with all his might to lift himself, to protect stiles, to protect himself. A hard vicious growl rips from his lips and a cold laugh answers.
“C’mon sweetheart you know better than that” the voice freezes Derek. It can't be, she's dead, he saw it with his own eyes. They'd set her aflame, in a sick twist of fate and irony. Kate's face became illuminated by the moonlight. Long fangs and clear eyes. “You thought you could get rid of me?” she tsks and comes closer, climbing over Derek and he sees her face, really sees it.
The skin is charred, black and ugly. Some places peeled away revealing bones. “You'll never be rid of me sweetheart, not even your little bitch can keep me away. You're mine Derek” she reaches out to touch him and he snarls and snaps. Her hand veers back quickly and she scolds him, loud and harsh in his ears. “Derek!” but it doesn't sound like her anymore. Then the world is shaking, “Derek, Wake up!” its faint, cloudy in his mind.
Stiles.
Then he shooting upward, eyes wide, frantic. His red eyes land on stiles, the usual honey color dark and swirling with confusion, worry and fear. “Was it a nightmare, are you okay? You're sweating, Baby?” Stiles's voice has an assertion to it, like Derek isn't getting out of this with a shrug. So he takes a deep breath, preparing himself to divulge back into his dream. But what comes out of his mouth is not what was in his mind.
“Do you really want to get married to me?” Stiles blanches, the widening of his eyes startles Derek to standing. “What? Derek, yes” stiles scrambles across the mattress, gripping Derek's hands like he’ll disappear if he lets go.
“Yes i want to get married, to you, no one else. I love you. What's happened, talk to me please” Stiles is tugging at him, but Derek is stock still and immovable. The scent of stiles’s own fear gripping him and sending a shudder over his skin. “I had a bad dream, it's just reminded me that you need to know what you're agreeing to” Derek shrugs and Stiles’s arms fall away.
“What I'm getting into? Are you dense Derek. I love you, I have since I saw you in the woods the day after Scott was bitten and it only gets deeper and more solid as the days go by. Yes i'm sure, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to adopt kids with you, and go on dates and have our wedding anniversary. I love you so much and if i didn't i would not have said yes.” Stiles is breathing hard, the rise and fall of his chest matching the rapid beating of his heart.
Derek breathes deeply and his eyes go soft. “I'm sorry, Stiles, i'm so sorry” The alpha falls to his knees next to the bed and pulls stiles to him.
Stiles goes willingly, and Derek crawls back into the bed. They fall asleep now equally wrapped around each other. Derek afraid of the nightmares and Stiles afraid of losing the best thing in his life.