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I’m home.
Taeyong liked that moment the most — hearing the tiny click sound of the dorm’s door being unlocked as he stood at its doorstep, consumed by the weariness that took over his limbs. It wasn’t a common fatigue, though; on his shoulder blades it rested the weight of the world like Atlas himself, forever trapped on the duality of what it seemed to be a blessing or a curse. Nothing Taeyong couldn’t deal with, or so he told himself every single day since he joined SM.
As he took off his shoes and slid his feet into his slippers, Taeyong finally quit ignoring how every part of his body ached in their own particular way after an entire night in the company, rehearsing for another debut — his knee, especially hurt more than the usual.
In the dimmed light of their living room, he rapidly fumbled in his backpack for a painkiller and tried to stroll around as silently as possible, but then a certain remembrance hit him like a flick in the forehead.
His bandmates were in a little break from the 127’s activities and went home, except for Yuta and Johnny, that were dragged to other members to have a meal in their houses and except for Mark, who was sleeping at the Dreamies’ dorm for the night. Taeyong knew he missed being around kids closer to his age, and felt a deep affection for the boy to make himself the unbreakable bond that connected their entire group.
Out of habit, Taeyong’s mind told him to go for a shower, but he quickly remembered that he already did it at the company, so all that he had to do was to manage to get to his bed and pass out until his next schedule… which was in five hours.
Before he could reach out the stairs that led to the second floor, Taeyong came to a halt as soon as he heard a familiar voice singing in one of the rooms behind him. Like a puppy that follows the smell of fresh food, Taeyong’s instinct was to let himself be carried by the wave of that melody until he found what he didn’t even know he was missing. But the universe knows better, no one can deny. The very specific doorstep he was now at was a proof of it.
At this point you're pretty much out of my mind
Doyoung’s English was adorable, but Taeyong would never tell him that. Instead, a tiny chuckle came out of his mouth in a mix of adoration and delight, feeling an overwhelming warmth spread across his chest at every note the younger sang, for he couldn’t believe that someone could be so beautiful in so many aspects of their life.
The door was left slightly open, so Taeyong dared to push it just a little bit more so he could land his eyes on the owner of his favorite voice in the world.
But when I close my eyes I think about you every time
Lying on his side in bed, with his back to the door, the raven-haired vocalist scrolled through his phone from where the song was being played on with such distraction that he didn’t notice Taeyong admiring him from the door.
I should let him know / How much I need him now
He's all I got / He's all I got
“Hey.” Taeyong’s husky voice swept the room pretty quickly, and Doyoung turned around with wide eyes.
“Hyung.” Acknowledging his presence, the man bolted upright in bed and turned off the music. “You got home now?”
“Yeah.” He wheezed, letting his backpack fall of his shoulders to settle against the wall of Doyoung and Mark’s room. “Weren’t you supposed to be on a trip with your brother?”
Closing his eyes for a couple of seconds, Doyoung rolled his eyes at him. The older man snorted.
“I was. I got home a few hours ago. Gong Myung has already something new to shoot so our trip was cut short.”
Strolling towards Doyoung’s bed, Taeyong hummed in response.
“Did you like it?” He asked, in an unintentional small voice.
Without a warning, the younger flashed a smile at him that made his heart shamelessly skip a beat. He couldn’t help it but to lean towards the brightness of his soul — everything about Doyoung had a greater splendor that a distracted eye wouldn’t caught, as if every atom that came together to build such being was nothing but countless charades written across his skin.
“Yes, I loved it.” It is Doyoung’s voice that brings him back from his reveries, and now the younger man patted the mattress for Taeyong to sit down next to him. “I took so many pictures. Do you wanna see it? I want—”
“Kim Doyoung.” He said, accepting the spot next to the man. “I do want to see it, but later. Now…”
Taeyong’s body was used to slid next to Doyoung’s like pieces of a sculpture that were made to fit each other to have meaning; faster than Taeyong could’ve had stopped himself, he leaned his face into the crook of Doyoung’s neck.
“Are you okay?” Doyoung inquired.
He knew Taeyong wasn’t, of course, but the older appreciated the attempt of coyness.
“I’m anxious.” He replied, letting out a heavy sigh. “I’m afraid for this new group. If it doesn’t go well…”
“It will.” In a heartbeat, Doyoung reassured the leader. “You will do well as you always did. This little voice in your head trying to make you insecure is a dickhead.”
Taeyong had to laugh at the sudden swearing.
He also almost jumped off his skin when the younger man started running his fingers through Taeyong’s hair. He thought, for a moment, that if he were to die at that exact moment, he’d go very happy.
Doyoung’s voice interrupted his silly musings.
“Taeyong.”
Still with his head on Doyoung’s shoulder, the older man lifted his chin just until he was staring at Doyoung’s profile. Much to his surprise, the owner of the face tilted his head to the same side Taeyong was looking at him from, creating barely no space between them.
Audaciously, Taeyong’s gaze dropped to Doyoung’s lips; they were very much of an attraction as always, just as soft as it was inviting, but something held him back from kissing his lover.
“I’m proud of you.” Breaking the silence, Doyoung brought his hand to caress the older’s cheek. “As my best friend, as my leader… I’ll be here for you.”
“I know.” He said, brushing his nose against Doyoung’s, feeling the latter’s hot breath on his face.
His entire body craved for a closeness that was practically impossible with nearly zero gaps between them, except for their lips that once in a while brushed against each other, trying to quench a thirst that had no end and sending a lightning bolt down Taeyong’s spine.
Doyoung knew it too, wrapping his slim arms around Taeyong’s waist to secure the man from the rest of the world.
“Wanna cuddle?” The younger asked, in a tone so soothing that relaxed Taeyong’s entire body.
“Yes, please.”
Arranging themselves in Doyoung’s bed, NCT’s leader first instinct was to curl up into a fetal position as he expected for cozy arms to embrace him. Body against body, skin that had no beginning or ending — it was just natural like the air they breathed, Taeyong come to this conclusion once, when he was being the big spoon in that very same bed.
Doyoung made sure to touch him in a way that poured his affection over Taeyong’s skin like falling stars against the dark skies; most people who only knew them for their bickering would never guess those kind of moments, and Taeyong sort of preferred that way. He wanted that heartwarming intimacy away from the rest of the eyes of the world, although he couldn’t help but to let it show a little bit how whipped he was for that vocalist.
Those moments in which their reality was set aside and they could be just two boys in love with each other had been becoming rarer, so, with all his might, Taeyong decided to melt against Doyoung’s chest, letting out a loud sigh.
“In ten years…” The older started, unsure if he should finish that sentence. “We are going to have our bakery, right?”
A snort came from behind him, and Doyoung’s hot breath against his neck gave him goosebumps.
“Of course, hyung.” He replied, playing with Taeyong’s fingers. “Let’s make sure it will be close to my future house just so I don’t have to walk too much to go to work.”
“Our house.” Taeyong clasped Doyoung’s fingers, playfully slapping them.
A giggle arose in the room.
“Fine, fine… Someone gotta do the cleaning, anyway.”
In a gasping movement, the older man turned around with his best fake offended face to scowl at his lover.
“You just want to use me!”
Rubbing his face while he laughed, Doyoung shifted a bit to the side to open more space in the bed.
“You’re pretty cute too, so that’s a bonus.”
“Shut up.”
“And you have a nice ass.”
“Shut up!” Taeyong couldn’t hold back the giggle, much for his attempt of being mad.
Bringing his arm once more to encircle Taeyong’s waist, Doyoung continued to spill sweet nothings.
“And you’re good at everything you do…” He claimed, pressing a chaste kiss against the older man’s forehead. “…and you’re probably the kindest person I’ve met…” Without a hurry, Doyoung’s lips brushed down his face to press a kiss against Taeyong’s nose. “So yeah, let’s have a home.”
Before Taeyong could stop himself, he was looking up directly at his lover when such words came out of his mouth.
“You are my home.” He said, sighing like the fool in love he was.
And for the second time that night, Taeyong was glad to know his whereabouts, and where he could always find it — no matter where they were, it would always be okay as long as they had each other.
I’m home.