Work Text:
“Steve, I need you to babysit,” Tony said. He had called Steve at the last minute, but something had come up and he needed help.
“Oh, you need me to look after Morgan?” Steve asked.
“No, I need you to look after Peter,” Tony said.
“Isn’t Peter like sixteen or something?” Steve asked, wondering why Peter couldn’t take care of himself.
“Yeah, he’s sixteen. Or twenty-one if you believe his driver’s license. But you know that whole he was gone for five years thing,” Tony said. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter how old he is. He’s getting his wisdom teeth removed and I’m supposed to pick him up in half an hour but I’m not going to be able to. So can you just… pick him up and keep him busy for a couple hours so he doesn’t notice I’m gone.”
“I don’t know,” Steve said. “Bucky and I were supposed to be going on a date.” Bucky sighed, thinking their date was going to be cancelled.
“Perfect you can babysit him together. Put the kid to bed early and you can makeout on the couch,” Tony said.
Steve held the phone away from his face to talk to Bucky. “Would it be okay if we picked up Peter and kept an eye on him? He’s getting his wisdom teeth taken out.”
“Yeah, okay,” Bucky said, glad at least that the distraction was not taking Steve away from him. It wouldn’t technically be a date anymore, but they could hang out and that was probably just as fine.
“Thanks, hon,” Steve said, kissing Bucky’s cheek before turning back to his phone. “Yeah, we can do it. Where’s he at?”
About half an hour later, Bucky and Steve walked into the dentist’s office looking for Peter. Surprisingly, however in the waiting room they ran into Thor.
“Thor?” Bucky said. “What are you doing here?”
Thor was sitting in one of the waiting room chairs, his hands folded in his lap looking quite stressed out. “I’m waiting for Peter to be done with his teeth thing. Apparently, it is rather painful and he is going to be on medication after.”
“Yeah, I heard,” Bucky said. “Steve and I are supposed to pick him up.”
“Can I get a ride with you? Tony drove me here, too,” Thor said.
“Yeah, sure,” Steve said.
The dentist walked out with a very tired and confused looking Peter. Since Peter had arrived with Thor, the dentist seemed to think it was a good idea to tell him all the relevant information even though it would have been far more helpful to tell Steve or Bucky.
“Is he going to be okay?” Thor asked.
“Yes, of course,” the dentist said, looking slightly flustered. “Wisdom tooth extraction is painful but he’ll be fine in a week or so.”
“I don’t feel so good,” Peter said.
“Come on,” Steve said. “We’ll take you home. You need some rest.”
“I don’t wanna rest I wanna go to McDonald’s,” Peter complained.
“Yeah! Let’s go to McDonald’s. I like that establishment,” Thor said.
“We’re not going to McDonald’s,” Bucky said. “I’m driving. Now everyone come to the car.”
Steve had to walk beside Peter who needed to grab his arm occasionally for balance.
“Whoa,” Peter said. Steve got him in the backseat and did his seatbelt up for him.
“Can we go to McDonald’s?” Peter asked.
“Pleeeeease?” Thor asked.
“Get in the goddamn car,” Bucky said.
“I think I might throw up,” Peter said casually.
“Not in the car!” Bucky said.
“I’m sorry,” Steve said to Bucky. “This isn’t what I thought our date night was going to be like.”
“Come on, let’s just get a drive through,” Thor said.
“We could just get a drive through,” Steve suggested. “I could use a coffee.”
“McDonald’s, McDonald’s, McDonald’s!” Peter said.
Bucky drove away from the dentist’s office. “I would like eight Big Macs please,” Thor said. “I have no money.”
“Sure,” Bucky said. “Let’s get McDonald’s. Now please, just all of you shut up.”
“Sorry,” Steve said.
“Saying sorry is not shutting up,” Peter pointed out. “Are you getting a divorce?”
“We’re not married, Peter,” Bucky said.
“Well, why not?” Peter said.
“Remember when I said that thing about shutting up?” Bucky said as he pulled into the McDonald’s Drive Thru. “I’ll take one black coffee,” he said.
“Funny,” Steve said. “Like the meme.”
Bucky paid and grabbed the coffee. “Meme? I don’t know what meme you’re talking about. You said you wanted coffee. Peter can’t have anything he just had surgery, and I really don’t think Thor needs more sugar.” Bucky passed Steve the coffee. “Also, I wasn’t telling you to shut up, I was talking to the children.”
“Oh,” Steve said. “In that case, thanks for the coffee.” He did drink his coffee black and he had mentioned he had wanted a coffee, but if he had known he was allowed to order he totally would have ordered a Big Mac.
“Now we can go home and put the kids to bed and continue our date,” Bucky said.
“But I want McDonald’s…” Steve said.
“Where’s my food?” Thor asked.
“Guys, I think I’m really going to throw up this time,” Peter said.