Chapter Text
“I need to be away from them”
Steven was shocked to hear this from Spinel. These past three years had gone so fast, and ever since she first left Earth with the diamonds she had heard nothing but good news about her. Even on their monthly calls, where she felt free to speak her concerns to Steven, she never mentioned anything negative about her new family.
“What happened, Spinel? I thought-”
“I know! I know they’ve been great, and they love me and gave me my own room and I’m lucky to be where I am, but... I’m sorry, Steven. I don’t know why. I just need some time away” Spinel looked down as she held herself, refusing to meet Steven’s eyes.
“That- that’s alright, Spinel. It’s ok to need time for yourself. I’m just surprised you’d want to be… well, alone”
“NO! I don’t wanna be alone either! Ugh. I make no sense, I know”
Steven couldn’t repress a sigh. Gemkind needed a lot of work yet to learn some emotional intelligence, but Spinel was the one Steven worried most about -even White had made huge strides towards something approaching compassion.
“Well, why don’t you visit Earth? You’re always welcome here, even if you refuse every invitation we send” he chuckled. There had been many invitations these years, for inaugurations and parties and weddings, but Spinel had refused every time.
“Yes, because YOU send the invitations. I’m not so sure everyone else would appreciate me being back after what I did” she sighed. “Listen, Steven. You don’t seem to realize it, but you’re way too good a gem. You forgive surprisingly easy, while us gems are stubborn things. Hah, you could say we’re stubborn like a rock”
Steven laughed at Spinel’s joke, and she seemed to brighten up. Thousands of years couldn’t really change Spinel -she was a funny gem. There was little else that could make her happier as making others happy. Steven’s laugh, in particular, was precious to her. She might be too broken to go back to being the sweet little gem she used to be -those pesky feelings wouldn’t take long to come back, dampening everything bright in her life- but if she could still make Steven smile, even after everything she did to his planet, maybe she wasn’t a lost cause.
“I’m sure they’ve all forgiven you, but even if they hadn’t, you’re always welcome in my home! We could have a movie night, make our own pizza, it could be great!”
Spinel was torn. She needed to be away from the diamonds. The memories of her were so strong lately in the palace, they were so strong by the diamonds’ side. But returning to Earth… how could she face the shame of what she’d done?
Steven noticed her doubting, and smiled to encourage her. That always seemed to work with Spinel. He was sure some quality time would do her some good, and he was the man for the job. Even if they had only interacted through calls ever since she left, as she hid away every time he visited Homeworld, their tentative friendship had grown to be strong. They could talk about things they couldn’t tell anybody else; their doubts, their fears, their insecurities, the darkest side of them no one else could see.
Steven was there for Spinel when she needed to talk about the Garden. Spinel was there for Steven when Connie left for college and broke up with him. Steven helped her the times she decided to sleep and dreamed of thousands of years of solitude. Spinel helped him the times he thought he could see pink eyes staring back at him in the mirror.
How many times I’ve wished I could just reach through the screen and hold her Steven thought, as he remembered all the times he’d seen tears in her eyes. He could always warp to Homeworld, but he knew she’d only hide again. He couldn’t understand why, but he respected her choice. She had to give the first step.
“You don’t have to leave the house if you don’t want to. Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl are gonna be away for a few days, you won’t have to see anyone if you don’t feel up to it. What do you say?”
Finally, Spinel’s face lit up with a grin “Alright. But only if you have some of those viya games you’re always talking about”
“Great! I’ve been meaning to try this new video game, you can be my Player 2!” Steven smiled and opened his arms, excited to have her finally visit. Spinel left to tell the Diamonds, after having promised Steven to warp there the next morning.
This was going to be great!