Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

14.37

McKookie: Im gonna have a stroke

McKookie: Ice-cream machine broke

Yoongi: you got them rhymes kid

Seokjinnie: Again?

McKookie: Yes, again.

McKookie: I swear to god this can't be a coincidence

McKookie: Fourth time this week

McKookie: Fourth fucking time

Seokjinnie: Yah! Language!

McKookie: Sorry hyung I'm just frustrated:(

Seokjinnie: It's okay boo:)💜

Seokjinnie: But wait

Seokjinnie: Isn't Yoongi responsible for fixing it?

Yoongi: yes i am

Seokjinnie: Then what are you doing here?

Yoongi: waiting for my stop

Yoongi: and yes i have a car but *someone* ( @Bookjoon) borrowed it :)

Seokjinnie: Alright no need to end it

Seokjinnie: I know what probably comes next

Bookjoon is online

Bookjoon: I'm here, what's the matter?

McKookie: Hyung, run

Bookjoon: What?

Yoongi: :)

Bookjoon: O h

Bookjoon is offline

Seokjinnie: Poor soul

Seokjinnie Totally deserved it tho

McKookie: Anyway

McKookie: Manager Jung is furious

McKookie: And you know, he's always so cheerful and friendly

McKookie: So seeing him angry is the worst thing possible

McKookie: I'm seriously scared for my life

Yoongi: oh come on kook

Yoongi: hes not that scary

Yoongi: everytime i come to fix the machine hes like

Yoongi: "im so sorry for the trouble mr min"

Yoongi: even tho i said multiple times to just call me yoongi

Yoongi: the closest i got was "yoongi-ssi"

Seokjinnie: Are you serious oh my god

McKookie: Yeah well

McKookie: You're scarier 

McKookie: And he knows it

Yoongi: whatever, im at my stop

Yoongi: be there in 5

McKookie: See you soon hyung!

Seokjinnie: Bye Yoongi, don't kill anyone💜

Yoongi: no promises

Yoongi is offline

15.39

Yoongi: alright

Yoongi: something weird just happened

Seokjinnie: ?

Yoongi: so you know kihyun right

Yoongi: the place is pretty big but somehow we always bump into each other

Seokjinnie: The Stealing Beef Patties Kihyun?

Yoongi: thats him

Yoongi: so im fixing the machine

Yoongi: as fucking always nowadays

Yoongi: and that guy comes up to me and says: "you shouldn't have come back here"

Bookjoon: What?

Yoongi: and i just casually answer "well i like money so im here"

Yoongi: but thats not the end

Yoongi: he then proceeds to explain to me how the ice-cream machine is clearly hunted and every time i fix it im angering the ancient ghost that lives there

Yoongi: im all for ghost stories but not when im trying to work

Yoongi: so i tell him to chill and jesus-

Yoongi: he looked so heartbroken and said that im a real cool guy and he doesn't want me to be cursed

Seokjinnie: Oh my god what lol

Bookjoon: Ahahaha poor guy

Yoongi: apparently hes scared of some machine but not me

Yoongi: but he was really sweet so i told him that im immune to curses or some shit like that

Bookjoon: Did it work though?

Yoongi: yes

Seokjinnie: Awww Yoongi your heart is showing

Yoongi: shut up

Yoongi: ...hyung

Seokjinnie: Careful there dear:)

Bookjoon: It's seriously frightening how Jin-hyung can use smiley faces in different ways

Yoongi: back to the topic guys

Bookjoon: That wasn't the end?

Yoongi: no

Yoongi: literally not a minute later some bitch sneezed right into my face

Yoongi: so maybe i am cursed after all

Seokjinnie: WHAT

Seokjinnie: Yoongi are you okay?

Yoongi: of course i am wtf

Yoongi: it was disgusting but it was just a sneeze come on

Yoongi: and i was already on my way back so sadly it wasnt an employee i could threaten 

Seokjinnie: Well I hope so

Seokjinnie: My friend does something like that sometimes

Seokjinnie: I'm always telling him to sneeze into his elbow

Seokjinnie: But he hardly ever listens…

Yoongi: tell him then that he better starts doing that because im pretty sure i scared the hell out of that guy

Yoongi: and if your friend will do the same thing to me then you wont have a friend anymore:)))

Seokjinnie: I will- I'll tell him that

Yoongi: youre welcome

17.16

McKookie: I waited 2 hours to tell you this so sit down and relax because you're in for a ride.

Bookjoon: We're grocery shopping with Jin-hyung, there are no chairs

McKookie: Then read at your own risk

McKookie: Have you ever seen someone so beautiful you went into shock?

McKookie: Because that's exactly what happened to me

Bookjoon: "Every morning when I gaze into mirror" ~Jin-hyung

McKookie: ...Of course

Bookjoon: But Kookie, doesn't this happen to you on a daily basis?

McKookie: Technically yes

McKookie: But usually it's because of women

McKookie: This time though? It was a  m a n

McKookie: A man, hyung

 Yoongi is online

McKookie: And you know me, I'm easily awestruck and this guy comes to me

McKookie: Like he couldn't use the ordering machine or whatever that is

McKookie: And asks for ICE CREAM

Bookjoon: And you were a stuttering mess, am I right?

Bookjoon: "Come on Jeon don't keep your hyungs waiting" ~Jin-hyung

McKookie: well yes but no

McKookie: I mumbled something like "ice cream is no more" but what actually came out was "ice cream no"

McKookie: And I couldn't sTOP STARING GOD

McKookie: The guy was confused so he asks "Ice cream machine broke?"

McKookie: So I, like the idiot I am, said "Understandable, have a nice day"

Yoongi: Jungkook what the fuck

Seokjinnie is online

Seokjinnie: Alright Namjoon dropped his phone AND our groceries, what did you say to the guy

Seokjinnie: OH MY GOD JUNGKOOK WHAT THE HELL AHAHAHAHAA

McKookie: Thanks hyung

Yoongi: what happened next

Seokjinnie: I see Yoongi's bi ass is ready for the drama hmm

Yoongi: im not denying that

McKookie: As I was registering what I just said, the guy was completely stunned for a sec and then started giggling.

McKookie: And if I wasn't already embarrassed I'd say it was a nice sound

McKookie: But I didn't.

McKookie: Then he ordered a hamburger and that was the end of my embarrassment

McKookie: No words were exchanged after that, thankfully

Bookjoon: Still a better love story than Twilight

Yoongi: couldn't agree more

Seokjinnie: I wonder if your manager knew about your awkward encounters, would he do everything in his power not to place you at the counter

McKookie: Idk, I won't tell him this that's for sure

McKookie: I'm dead tired now

McKookie: @Yoongi I'm gonna have a nap, don't wake me up when you arrive

Yoongi: sure kid

McKookie is offline

Seokjinnie: So is no-one gonna talk about how Jungkook just got awestruck by a guy

Yoongi: ? is that a problem?

Seokjinnie: Not at all

Seokjinnie: Come on Yoongi, I'm bi myself

Yoongi: yeah sorry just being overprotective

Seokjinnie: As always

Bookjoon: I wonder what the guy must have been like for Jungkook to be mesmerized

Seokjinnie: Yeah I always show him pretty faces on campus but he never bats an eye

Seokjinnie:

Bookjoon: We probably will never know

Chapter Text

[ Hoes ]

14.47

Hoesok: JIMIN

Hoesok: I DON'T FUCKING CARE THAT YOU'RE ON YOUR BREAK

Hoesok: ANSWER ME 

Hoesok: DID YOU CATCH THE CULPRIT

Hoesok: Oh right

Hoesok: @Succubi

Gray: ? What happened?

Hoesok: What happened isn't important right now

Hoesok: WHO DID IT IS

Succubi is online

Succubi: Is2g

Succubi: Uh,,,,,

Succubi: I don't know Hobi…… I was talking with someone when it happened

Hoesok: Jimin you had one fucking job

Hoesok: If I have to call for the maintenance one more fucking time Im gonna sNAP

Babyboy:

Hoesok: Tae don't start with me now 

Succubi: But no one's gonna take it from your pay so what does is matter

Hoesok: IT MATTERS BECAUSE SOMEONE IS DOING IT ON PURPOSE JIMIN

Hoesok: I DON'T WANNA HAVE ANY TRAITORS IN MY MACDONALD.

Hoesok: I swear to god when I get my hands on this person Im gonna strangle them

Succubi: ….

Succubi: Tae come here I need your support

Babyboy: In what

Babyboy: Do you have something you want to tell us?

Succubi: No. But furious Hoseok is an unpredictable Hoseok.

Babyboy: Can't deny

Babyboy: I need to finish some things first

Babyboy: Give me 20 minutes jiminie 💜

Babyboy is offline

Gray: Hoseok are you still trying to confirm that someone is sabotaging the ice cream machine?

Hoesok: Yes and Im 100% sure its being sabotaged

Hoesok: 5th time this week

Gray: Are you sure tho

Gray: I mean

Gray: Kookie is also working at McDonald's and their ice cream machine is always broken too

Hoesok: What Kookie, you mean your maknae?

Gray: Yeah

Gray: Maybe that's how it is

Gray: Maybe you shouldn't sell ice cream

Hoesok: HA

Hoesok: As if!

Hoesok: Maybe someone is sabotaging their machine too!

Gray: I mean-

Gray: He's saying the same thing

Gray: But come on, there can't be 2 persons sabotaging some innocent machines

Succubi: I'm with hyung on that one:((

Succubi: Don't be mad Hobi but I think the stress is coming to you

Hoesok: Aish, maybe you have a point

Hoesok: The place is too big even for 2 managers

Hoesok: But still, it drives me crazy

Hoesok: Especially cause of that scary af mechanic 

Hoesok: Seeing him practically everyday takes 10 years from my lifespan

Hoesok: brb

Hoesok is offline

Gray: I think that every mechanic is kinda scary

Gray: It's part of the job

Succubi: Oh he's here!!

Succubi is offline

Gray: ?

Gray: Who's here

Gray: Taehyung?

Gray: Hoes cOmE ON

[ ChimChim & TaeTae ]

15.15

Taetae

JIMIN I SNEEZED AT SOME GUY'S FACR

IM SO SORRY

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME

ChimChim

You WHAT

JIN AND I WILL KILL YOU

TaeTae

NO I BEG YOU

DON'T TELL HIM

HE'S ALWAYS PREACHING ABOUT HYGIENE 

And anyway

I won't ever do it again

(・_・;)

ChimChim

?????

Why???

I mean,,, that's good

But why so sure

TaeTae

That guy jiminie…

That guy is scary

As in

I Prefer Furious Hoseok Over Him scary

ChimChim

Oh

TaeTae

He made a disgusted face

But that's pretty normal right

Then….

He glared

But that glare

That glare send shivers down my spine

I think he's a murderer

A handsome murderer

Jiminie please don't ever date someone like that

ChimChim

Tae chill

I don't even know him

Yet ;)))))

TaeTae

IM SERIOUS

He's bad news

ChimChim

Those are the best;););)

ANYWAY

You there yet?

TaeTae

Ugh

In a moment

[ Hoes ]

16.00

Babyboy: Guys you won't believe this omg

Babyboy: Is anyone here??? 

Babyboy: Hellooooo

Babyboy: @Succubi @Hoesok @Gray

Succubi is online

Succubi: This better be good

Succubi: If Hobi finds out I'm not working he'll skin me alive

Babyboy: Bitch my story is pure gold

Babyboy: But first

Babyboy: Where's jinnie hyung

Succubi: uhhh

Succubi: I think he's studying? We were talking but he said he needs to review cause he's going out grocery shopping with Namjoon later

Succubi: So as always

Succubi: He muted us:)

Babyboy: Noooo :((( he never reads back tho :(((

Succubi: He did, but then someone was spamming the gc so now he doesn't.

Babyboy: Hehe

Babyboy: His loss

Babyboy: So after I talked with jiminie I thought hey I wanna eat

Babyboy: And you know me guys, I love talking so I went straight to the counter to order and maybe have a little chat with the cashier

Babyboy: But boy! Dunno what happened, he was either scared or mesmerized by something???

Babyboy: Idek, maybe he was having a flashback???? Poor guy (;´Д｀)

Babyboy: He mumbled something like ice cream no

Succubi: Wait, you ordered ice cream? You know the machine's broken

Babyboy: Yea but I wanted to chat!! Broken machine was a perfect topic!!:((

Babyboy: So I asked ice cream machine broke??? I was starting to be a little bit worried cause he was real pale and all:( 

Babyboy: And then he memed me

Succubi: He what

Babyboy: HE MEMED ME JIMIN

Babyboy: "Understandable, have a nice day"

Succubi: oH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT IN THE-

Succubi: GUY HAS THE GUTS

Babyboy: I KNOW RIGHT I STARTED GIGGLING AFTER REGISTERING WHAT HE SAID

Babyboy: But he looked even more dead than before so I decided that nah I think he doesn't want to be in the spotlight so I ordered a hamburger and left lol

Succubi: WHAT A POOR GUY

Succubi: WHAT WAS HIS NAME

Succubi: I NEED TO SEE HIM

Babyboy: Idk didn't check

Succubi: You fucking dumbass…..

Babyboy: Hey:((( he had brown hair tho?? And brown eyes

Succubi: Tae everyone has brown or dark hair here

Babyboy: You don't? You're blonde:(

Succubi: Yeah well I need to stand out, we've talked about this

Babyboy: Right

Babyboy: As I was saying

Hoesok is online

Succubi is offline

Hoesok: Jimin I saw you typing on your fucking phone

Hoesok: You're dead

Hoesok is offline

Babyboy: Rip lol

16.30

Hoesok is online

Hoesok: God I'm so done with them

Hoesok: Bunch of idiots 😑

Hoesok: I need a break

17.40

Gray: Hoseokie:(( Are you still there

Hoesok: Yes hyung

Gray: Want to eat out? Food's on me:)💜

Hoesok: Aaaaaaa hyung I love you💖💖💖

Gray: Now that's the Hoseok we all love

Gray: I'll be with another friend tho is that okay?

Hoesok: Sure!! If they are okay with it ofc

Gray: I'm sure he'll be fine with it:)

Gray: See you soon then

Hoesok: See you!

17.55

Gray: We're almost there!

Gray: You can come out now

Hoesok: On my way!

Gray: Yoongi says he wants to show us some really nice bbq place

Hoesok: Wait wait wait

Hoesok: Yoongi?

Hoesok: As in Min Yoongi?

Gray: Oh God don't tell me you know each other

Hoesok: FUCK I SEE THEM

Hoesok: IT'S HIM

Hoesok: THAT FRIGHTENING MECHANIC

Hoesok is offline

Gray: HOSEOK COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH

Gray: YOU PROMISED

Gray is offline

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

23.19

Seokjinnie added Jung Hoseok to the group chat

Bookjoon: What is happening

Jung Hoseok: God 

Seokjinnie set Jung Hoseok's nickname to Coward

Coward: Woah, I'd expect everything from you but a lame 'coward'?

Seokjinnie: There's a child in this group,  behave

Coward: Does this mean than Jin hyung doesn't swear here??

Bookjoon: Yes

Yoongi is online

Coward: Yghhh

Seokjinnie: Hoseok 

Coward: Sorry

Seokjinnie: Pity Kookie isn't here but he will read later

Yoongi: hyung you don't have to do this

Coward: I agree with Yoongi-ssi

Yoongi: call me yoongi-ssi one more time and no seokjin will ever save you

Coward: I'm sorry pls don't kill me

Yoongi: good

Seokjinnie: So it turns out that Hoseok and Yoongi already knew each other

Bookjoon: But who's Hoseok

Coward: That's me, hi

Bookjoon: I know

Seokjinnie: Ah right

Seokjinnie: Hobi, introduce yourself

Coward: Alright mom

Coward: Good evening my name is Jung Hoseok, I was born in '94 I wanted to be a dancer but I ended up in McDonald's

Coward: Pleasure to meet you all 🤗

Bookjoon: Why does everyone work in McDonald's?

Bookjoon: Either way, my name is Kim Namjoon, I'm a bookseller but also a Philosophy and English philology major

Bookjoon: I'm also from 1994. September 12th and you?

Coward: Ha! I'm from February 18th! I'm your hyung then!

Bookjoon: Aish

Yoongi: do i need to introduce myself

Coward: No

Seokjinnie: Yes

Yoongi: im min yoongi, mechanic and music production major

Yoongi: im also older than you but theres no need to be so formal with me

Seokjinnie: Alright I've waited enough

Seokjinnie: Look at this

Seokjinnie: 

Seokjinnie: If you look close enough you'll see the pleading for death in my eyes

Seokjinnie: That was the only reason I asked someone to take the photo instead of taking it myself

Bookjoon: I see Yoongi is still sporting than ugly hat

Yoongi: excuse you

Yoongi: my hair smells of cheeseburgers there was no need to make everyone smell it as well

Seokjinnie: Wow so caring

Yoongi: i love how hoseok is resting his hand on hyungs shoulder 

Yoongi: "please hyung dont leave me with him"

Coward: Where's the lie tho

Seokjinnie: Aish you two are awful

Coward: I'm sorry Jinnie but you friend is too scary

Coward: And I'd know

Coward: I see him practically every day:)))

Yoongi: oh right

Yoongi: why does your ice cream machine break on a daily basis?

Yoongi: not like im complaining 

Yoongi: as long as it pays the bills

Yoongi: but im still curious

Coward: I would love to know as well:)))

Seokjinnie: Yoongi don't

Seokjinnie: He's on a verge of insanity because of this

Coward: I'm just sure that someone sabotages the machine!! Come on it's McDonald's reputation on the line here!

[ Min Yoongi & Jung Hoseok ]

23.38

Jung Hoseok set his nickname to Hobi

Hobi

Hyung

Min Yoongi

woah

did you just call me hyung

Hobi

Yes

But that's not the point

You want to know the truth too right

Min Yoongi

you mean the ice cream machine

Hobi

Ya

Obviously it's not machine's fault

Min Yoongi

so

Hobi

So help me

Help me catch the culprit

I'll do whatever you want

Please

Min Yoongi

interesting

do you have a suspect?

Hobi

No

But there's a lot of shady people here

Like Kihyun

Min Yoongi

the stealing beef patties kihyun?

Hobi

The steaLinG WHAT?

Min Yoongi

nvm 

i think we're talking about different kihyuns

Hobi

?????I HOPE SO???

What the fuck

Min Yoongi

idk hoseok

kihyun couldn't have done it

At least my kihyun wouldn't

but most kihyuns are the same

Hobi

….

I have a lot of names

After all

I need to put up with them all the time:))

Just

Just keep an eye open

See if someone acts suspicious

My friend was supposed to watch the machine but he's awful at his job

Min Yoongi

what do you mean

Hobi

Everytime it happens he just isn't there to witness

Even though I said I would give him a bonus

Somehow

Min Yoongi

i know the place is big

but he never was near when it happened?

Hobi

Never:(((

Hyung please

I'm grasping at straws here

Min Yoongi

I don't know…

Hobi

I'll do everything I'm serious!

Min Yoongi

hmmm

alright 

i guess I can help you

Hobi

Aaaaaa!!

Thank you hyung!!!💜

Hobi set Min Yoongi's nickname to Best Hyung ever

Best Hyung ever

im already regretting this 

but hoseok

keep this convo between us

Hobi

Sure thing (・∀・)

You can call me Hobi tho!!

Best Hyung ever

ok

[ King and the peasants ]

23.49

McKookie is online

McKookie: Why is Yoongi hyung grinning at his phone

Bookjoon: What

Seokjinnie: WHAT?

Yoongi: dammit jungkook

Coward: Hyung :0

Coward: Don't tell me…

Yoongi: no

Yoongi is offline

Seokjinnie: HOSEOK SPILL THE TEA

Coward: I can't :((

McKookie: Hold on who is this

Coward: I'm Hobi

Coward: Helloooo??

Seokjinnie: He's prob reading the gc give him time

Coward: Oh alright

Bookjoon: So we're going to ignore that Yoongi just got exposed?

Seokjinnie: Of course not

Seokjinnie: Who do you think I am

Coward: …

Coward: I'll only say that

Coward: Turns out Yoongi hyung is just a softie with a cold persona

Bookjoon: Dammit

Coward: ???

Seokjinnie: I won the bet ahahah

Coward: I'm confused

McKookie: OH MY GOD HE'S MY MANAGER

Bookjoon: Jin and I were betting how long it will take for you to stop being scared of Yoongi

Bookjoon: I gave you a day while Jin only half that much

Coward: Oooh

Seokjinnie: Kookie there's no need to be shocked, you know Hoseok is a cinnamon bun

Coward: I'm your hope!

Coward: I'm your angel! 👼

Seokjinnie set Coward's nickname to I'm J-Hope

McKookie: I know… but it's weird to be with Manager-nim in the same gc…

Seokjinnie: MANAGER-NIM

Seokjinnie: I'm saving this

I'm J-hope: Awww what a pure boy

Seokjinnie: He will change his mind once he tastes the true Hoseok Experience™

I'm J-hope: True

Bookjoon: Just who did you add to the group-

Seokjinnie: You'll see ;)

I'm J-hope: Sooo @McKookie you're Jungkook right

McKookie: Uh, yes

McKookie: Jeon Jungkook

I'm J-hope: Do you happen to work nearby the ice cream machine?

Seokjinnie: Are you serious

McKookie: No! And I'm also frustrated that is always broken!

I'm J-hope: Ooooh right, you're THE Kookie

I'm J-hope: Yeah I believe you ^v^

McKookie: Thank you?

Seokjinnie: I mentioned you in our other gc

McKookie: Oh okay

I'm J-hope: Nothing bad tho : D

McKookie: Sure… um

McKookie: I think I'll call it a night then

McKookie: Goodnight Manager-nim

McKookie: Goodnight hyungs

Seokjinnie: Sweet dreams Kookie💜

Bookjoon: Have a nice rest

I'm J-Hope: Night!

McKookie is offline

I'm J-Hope: Alright your friends are fun

Bookjoon: Glad you like us

Seokjinnie: See, there was no need to run away and barricade yourself in your house

I'm J-Hope: HYUNG

Bookjoon: I love this ahaha

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

9.00

McKookie: Have anyone seen Yoongi-hyung?

McKookie: He's not here

McKookie: And it's weekend? He always sleeps on the weekend

Bookjoon: Maybe he woke up earlier and went out?

McKookie: Impossible, I'm awake since 8 because of that photography classes

McKookie: And he already was out

Bookjoon: Alright that do seem weird

McKookie: Right?? And before you ask, yes I called him AND texted him. Received an answer to neither:(

Bookjoon: Huh, he couldn't just disappear, but why would he voluntarily leave so early? That's not like him

Bookjoon: Maybe Seokjin-hyung made him go somewhere

Bookjoon: @Seokjinnie

McKookie: Ugh I don't have time for this I'll just call him

Bookjoon: Let me know how it goes

Bookjoon: Oh my God he's really doing it

Bookjoon: Rip Jungkook

McKookie: Alright so that was a bad idea

McKookie: He was sleeping

McKookie: And now I have a bounty on my head

McKookie: Haha kill me now before he does it

Bookjoon: I don't know what to say

Bookjoon: You brought this upon yourself

McKookie: I was WORRIED

Bookjoon: Come on Kookie, Yoongi's a grown ass man

Bookjoon: He can take care of himself

McKookie: Yeah but what if… you know

Bookjoon: Nothing like that will happen

Bookjoon: We would know

McKookie: Right…

Bookjoon: Well then, I'm going back to getting ready, call me when Yoongi hyung reaches up to you

McKookie: Okay, have a nice day

Bookjoon: :)

Bookjoon is offline

[ Grumpy Cat & Prince ]

12.30

Prince

You better fucking hope that something had happened to you before I have my hands on you

Grumpy Cat

what did i do again

Prince

Because of you, Jungkook was worried and so he called me to ask about you

On 9 in the fucking morning

Grumpy Cat

sorry

i'm out with hoseok

Hi Hyung!!!

We planned this meeting about a week ago

Sorry that I haven't told you:((((

Prince

Hobi, sunshine

It's alright

Just tell us next time

It's not normal for Yoongi to be awake at this hours

Grumpy Cat

Oh :((( I didn't know

Sorry Jinnie:(((

We're having fun tho!!

Prince

Aww look at you

You even have matching outfits💜

Grumpy Cat

you wont let me live this one down do you

Prince

Another person you're whipped just as much as for Jungkook?

Hell no:))

Grumpy Cat

fuck you

[ King and the peasants ]

12.44

Seokjinnie: Want to see a happy picture of Yoongi?

McKookie: Yoongi is alive?

Yoongi is online

Seokjinnie: He is and he's also having a great time:)

Yoongi: okay sorry see? im sorry

Yoongi: theres no need for this

Yoongi: i wont ever cuss you out again

Seokjinnie: Sure

Yoongi: I promise Hyung.

McKookie: Woah you made him use proper punctuation. Shit must be good

Seokjinnie: Yah

McKookie: Fine:(

Seokjinnie: Turns out a week and a half is enough for Yoongi to fall in love

Yoongi: oh come on hobi isnt even gay

McKookie: Wait

Yoongi: fuck

Seokjinnie: WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT 

Seokjinnie: I don't really need to do anything in this gc

Seokjinnie: You're exposing yourself without me

I'm J-hope is online

I'm J-hope: What's happening, I think Yoongi has a mental breakdown

I'm J-hope: Uh, love????

Seokjinnie: Don't worry Hobi, in this family, we say we love each other on a daily basis:))

Seokjinnie: But Yoongi always says that he doesn't like strangers 

Seokjinnie: Took him a year to admit he likes us

Seokjinnie: Tho I might've formulated the sentence to seem like something more than platonic love

I'm J-hope: Ooohh I see where this is going

I'm J-hope: Nice one Jinnie

I'm J-hope: Yoongi hyung, you're a total idiot

I'm J-hope: But I love you too💜

McKookie: Wait so we are talking about platonic love right

McKookie: I'm confused

Seokjinnie: Yes Kookie, if you would know Jimin and Taehyung you would understand immediately what I've meant…

I'm J-hope: Oh God yes

I'm J-hope: Those two are awful

I'm J-hope: They call themselves 'platonic soulmates'

Yoongi: ew

I'm J-hope: He says that but I see him cooing at his phone

McKookie: Ahahaha Yoongi hyung, don't ever change

Yoongi: I hate all of you

[ Hoes ]

16.34

Succubi: Hobi is so quiet lately

Succubi: Is he okay?

Babyboy: Yea I hope he's okay:(

Babyboy: You work with him tho, did he seem off?

Succubi: Not at all

Succubi: Still as furious as before

Babyboy: So I guess the machine saga continues huh

Babyboy: Aish Jiminie

Succubi: What's up

Babyboy: You know exactly what's up

Babyboy: But yeah

Babyboy: It's for the better good

Babyboy: The machine's def cursed 

Hoesok is online

Babyboy: Like every McDonald's

Hoesok: It's weekend, I don't want to hear anything about ice cream

Babyboy: Sorry:((

Hoesok: It's okay Tae

Hoesok: I'm sorry guys that I'm inactive lately

Hoesok: I've met this guy, Yoongi

Succubi: Oh?;)

Babyboy: Oooohhh;))

Hoesok: It's nothing like that sluts, don't even think about it

Babyboy: Nah we know it hyung, we're just fucking with you(๑´ڡ`๑)

Succubi: Is he hot tho?

Babyboy: Jimin I thought you already had a crush

Succubi: TAE

Hoesok: JIMIN HAS A CRUSH? WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ANYTHING??

Succubi: Shut it 

Succubi: This is exactly my reason

Succubi: Plus you would've told Jin hyung

Hoesok: Pffft, no???

Succubi: Hoseok did you just

Gray is online

Gray: JIMIN HAS A CRUSH?

Succubi: Oh for fuck's sake

[ Taetae & ChimChim ]

16.42

ChimChim

Tae we need to do something

They can't know

TaeTae

I get it why Hobi mustn't

But Jinnie??

ChimChim

Yeah well

He has connections, surely he will figure it out sooner or later

He knows e v e r y o n e

You know this

TaeTae

Damn meds students:/

Okay so

Jinnie would expose you unintentionally

And hoseok would expose you voluntarily

Hmmm

ChimChim

:(((((

See, we have to do something

TaeTae

Calm down love

I've got this

;)

ChimChim

??????

You better

[ Hoes ]

16.58

Gray: You're probably right

Gray: Oh Jimin's back

Gray: Well?

Jimin: Uh you see…

Babyboy: Um, Hobi hyung?

Babyboy: I know it's weekend

Babyboy: But I'm at McDonald's and um

Hoesok: I said no McDonald's today

Babyboy: Yes but I just saw a guy tinkering with the ice cream machine

Babyboy: Nobody was looking at him??? I mean, some were, but ignored him lol

Hoesok: WHAT

Gray: OMG HOW DOES HE LOOK LIKE

Babyboy: I was ordering so I didn't have much time for observation

Babyboy: He had brown hair

Hoesok: Tae I swear to God, everyone has hair like that

Gray: Jimin doesn't

Hoesok: Hyung

Hoesok: Shut up

Gray: Wow ok

Babyboy: That's not all come on

Babyboy: He had brown eyes obv but they were kinda big?? Like from that disney movie

Gray: Bambi?

Babyboy: Omg yes how did you know?

Hoesok: Oh my fucking God

Gray: No way, there's no way

Hoesok: I thought he was also angry about it???

Gray: Taehyung

Babyboy: ...yes?

Gray: Did he have bunny teeth

Hoesok: Wtf

Babyboy: How would I know? I was ordering a hamburger not a furry

Gray: Lol nice one

Gray: Piercings then

Babyboy: I guess, more than one

Hoesok: I'll kill him

Gray: Hoesok no

Gray: Not until I arrive

Hoesok: You're coming with me?

Gray: Of course, you don't even know where he lives

Hoesok: I mean, I would've checked in work register 

Gray: Isn't that illegal?

Hoesok: And murder isn't?

Gray: Fair point

Gray: I'm coming to you, wait for me

Gray is offline

Hoesok is offline

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

17.22

ChimChim

Omg TaeTae that worked!!

But also

What the fuck

TaeTae

I didn't know it would end up like this

ChimChim

You made that up?

TaeTae

Yes

But I described the meme cashier

ChimChim

Omg poor guy

TaeTae

I DIDN'T KNOW JIN ALSO KNEW HIM

I JUST SENTENCED SOME POOR SOUL TO DIE

ChimChim

Dw

You saved me tho

And I'm like 4 meme cashiers

TaeTae

True

You are💜

ChimChim

Thank you TaeTae💜

I love you💜

TaeTae

(*´ω｀*)

Love ya too💜💜

Kim Seokjin created a new group chat with Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin

17.30

Kim Seokjin set the group's name to ;)

Kim Seokjin: Just wanted to say that

Kim Seokjin: @Kim Taehyung

Kim Seokjin: I know you've lied

Kim Seokjin: I'm not as dumb as Hoseok

Kim Seokjin: I just love the drama

Kim Taehyung: Figures

Kim Seokjin: But now I'm even more interested in why would want to change the subject so much

Park Jimin: Hyung come on, just let it go

Kim Seokjin: You don't understand Jimin

Kim Seokjin: I WILL find out

Kim Seokjin: Sooner than later

Kim Seokjin: Just thought I'll let you know

Kim Seokjin: ;)

Kim Seokjin has left the group chat

Kim Taehyung: Well that escalated quickly

Park Jimin: We are so dead

Kim Taehyung: You're so dead*

Park Jimin: I'm dragging you with me:)

Kim Taehyung: Sometimes I regret that we're soulmates

Kim Taehyung: :(

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

21.52

Bookjoon: Hey is he better?

Yoongi: dw i patched him up

Yoongi: never wouldve thought hoseok was a biter

Bookjoon: You make it sound weird

Yoongi: thats the point joon

Yoongi: anyway kooks feeling better although a little shaken up

I'm J-hope: i'm so, so sorry Jungkook

I'm J-hope: It's a really stressful situation going on for months

I'm J-hope: And Tae's description matched you so well I overreacted…

I'm J-hope: I'll make it up to you I swear ＿|￣|○

Yoongi: You better.

Bookjoon: I got shivers, no kidding

I'm J-hope: Me too;;;;

Yoongi: It's okay Hoseok-ssi

Yoongi: It hurt like hell though

I'm J-hope: JUNGKOOK I'M SO SORRY

Yoongi: hoseok ill end you

Bookjoon: The best part is that you don't even need clarifying to know who's speaking

Yoongi: Haha true

Yoongi: But I'm serious, I'm okay now, no need to worry about me

Bookjoon: Kookie I love you but quit with your bullshit, we all know you

Yoongi: …

Yoongi: Alright I think I'm gonna have a big ass scar on my forearm

Bookjoon: That's better

I'm J-hope: Guys this is nOT HELPING

Yoongi: it is so kindly shut up

Yoongi: jungkook says it hurts to type for so long so im just gonna pass the message

Yoongi: he said you have to tell taehyung that he is a dick and also take jungkook of the counter in mcdonalds

McKookie is online

McKookie: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT

McKookie: I just wanted for Hoseok-ssi to let me take it easy at work for a week or so

Bookjoon: Jungkook you shouldn't type right now, go and rest

McKookie: Yeah and then Hoseok-ssi will tell that bitch Taehyung that he's a dick

McKookie: Which he is but you get my point

I'm J-hope: It isn't his fault:( He has a big imagination maybe he was seeing things…

I'm J-hope: And I jumped to conclusions too quickly:(((

Bookjoon: Okay you're points are valid but,

Bookjoon: What about Jin-hyung?

Yoongi: what about him

Bookjoon: He was there as well, wasn't he?

McKookie: He did

McKookie: He laughed when Hoseok-ssi was shouting 

Yoongi: …

McKookie: BUT

McKookie: He jumped into action when I got bitten

McKookie: Hoseok-ssi and I got scolded

McKookie: Then Seokjin hyung laughed again and said I've finally tasted the true Jung Hoseok Experience™

McKookie: And then Yoongi came back, but Seokjin hyung went to pharmacy bc we were out of bandages

McKookie: ...my arm hurts

Bookjoon: Ah

Bookjoon: So he fled

Bookjoon: Not surprised 

McKookie: Yea

McKookie: I'm going to rest

McKookie: Writing eith one hand nkw

McKookie: Uncomfotsble

Bookjoon: It's okay Kookie, go

McKookie is offline

[ Hobi & Best Hyung Ever ]

22.18

Best Hyung Ever

seriously hoseok

it wasn't him

Hobi

I know I know

I really am sorry

I'll give him light workload for a while

I promise

Best Hyung Ever

good but thats not why im here

i need to talk with your friend

Hobi

Nooo please don't kill Tae:((((

Best Hyung Ever

not that friend chill

the one from work

Hobi

You want to talk to Jimin?

Why?

Best Hyung Ever

for the past week you were bitching about your work and the machine situation

thought i could talk to him

see things from his perspective

Hobi

Awww Hyung you really want to help me💜

Best Hyung Ever

shut up

Hobi

Sure I could let him know💜

Best Hyung Ever

wait

Hobi

??

Best Hyung Ever

we need to make an excuse as to why i want to talk

Hobi

Umm sure??

Idk what tho

Best Hyung Ever

well then

make it up

quickly

Hobi

Ughh give me a sec

[ Jin & Manager-nim ]

22.26

Manager-nim

Hyung you there?

Hyuuuung I need you

Jin

Is it safe to read the group chat?

Manager-nim

Not yet but

I need your help with something

Please?

Jin

I guess I owe you one

After all you didn't sell me out to Yoongi

Manager-nim

I mean, Jungkook did

But he left some things out

And by that I meant our fight and you recording

...Jungkook can throw a punch😑

I can't go out in public like this

Jin

Ahahaha yeah that was gold

And his face when he understood that he had punched you

Ahhh

Manager-nim

Ugh

Honestly I feel old when he treats me like that

Jin

Calm down Manager-nim lol

Manager-nim

…

As I was saying

Jin

Right

Manager-nim

I need you to occupy Tae's whole day tomorrow

Jin

Why?

Manager-nim

I'm under no obligation to tell you

Jin

>:((

Alright, fuck your secrets then

Manager-nim

💜

Jin

Does it need to be tomorrow tho…

I wanted to have a nice calm sunday 

No studying

No Taehyungs 

Etc

Manager-nim

It has to be tomorrow!

Jin

Aigoo

Alright whatever

Anything else?

Manager-nim

Don’t bore him

Spend the whole day with him

Don’t let him out of your sight

And most importantly

Play along

Jin

Play along what

[ Hoes ]

22.32

Hoesok: Okay we really DO need to catch up huh

Succubi: Obviously

Babyboy: We miss you Hobi :((

Hoesok: Then listen to this!

Hoesok: Yoongi and I are going out tmrw but he’s okay with me taking someone with us

Hoesok: Sooo I thought it could be a good opportunity to introduce him to you!

Succubi: Omg count me in

Babyboy: Me too!!

Gray: Uh Tae…

Gray: We were supposed to meet up-

Babyboy: What? Really??

Babyboy: I don’t remember

Gray:  Oh I see how it is

Gray: You don’t want to see your poor old hyung

Gray:  So Yoongi is better than me now huh

Babyboy:  NO THAT’S NOT- BFHKEBDKSBb

Babyboy: Hyung can’t we postpone it:(((

Gray: Of course not

Gray: I asked you, hey tae do you want to meet with me on sunday? 

Gray: You were playing games and you said sure sure

Gray: So I guess you just plain ignored me

Gray: And here I am, thinking I’m going to the zoo with my favourite dongsaeng://

Babyboy:  Omg hyung Im so sorry…. let’s go to the zoo:(((

Succubi: Tae are you serious

Succubi: You gonna leave me for animals?

Gray: I can put you in a cage and mail it to the zoo if you want to be with Taehyung so bad :)

Succubi: Nvm have a nice day out

[ Jin & Manager-nim ]

22.45

Manager-nim

You are a fucking genius

I lov you

Jin

Yeah yeah

I know I’m perfect

I swear sometimes I wonder why I hadn’t took acting major

Drama flows in my veins

Manager-nim

We know it and we still choose to love you

[ Hoes ]

22.47

Hoesok: Okay so if that's settled-

Hoesok: Jimin we're gonna meet on 14.00 at that one cat cafe where Jin-hyung almost got killed

Succubi: Ahaha I remember that, good times

Gray: Stupid cat ruined my face

Gray: Which part of it was good

Succubi: The one where I recorded the whole thing

Gray: Whatever

Gray: Tae I'll pick you up from your place

Gray: We're going to grab something to eat and then go ok?

Babyboy: Okay(*´∀｀*)

Gray: Alright

Gray: I'm going to review for now

Gray: Bye sluts

Gray is offline

Babyboy: I can't imagine Jin as a doctor

Succubi: Me neither

Succubi: Although, if you think about it

Succubi: Jinnie would be like doctors from the dramas 

Babyboy: :0 You're right

Jung Hoseok created a new group chat with Park Jimin and Min Yoongi

23.01

Jung Hoseok set group chat's name to MeetUp

Jung Hoseok set his nickname to Hope

Jung Hoseok set Park Jimin’s nickname to Mochi

Jung Hoseok set Min Yoongi’s nickname to Gummy

Min Yoongi set his nickname to No

Hope: Aww come on >:((

No: no

Mochi: What is happening

Hope: I’ve made a gc, might come in handy later :D

Mochi: Yes I can see that,,,

Hope: …Decided that hyung and you can get to know each other before tomorrow

Hope: You don't need to ofc

Hope: Just thought it would be nice:(

Mochi: Aww Hobi of course it's nice!

Mochi: Hi Yoongi-ssi, my name is Jimin:))

Mochi: I'm 23 and I like to dance!

Hope: He also did ballet when he was little aaand now he's one of the best in his year

No: he goes to the same uni as seokjin?

Hope: Nah he's at K-arts, dancer and all

No: oh 

No: same as me

Mochi: :0 what major?

No: music production

Mochi: Waah, that's so cool!

Mochi: Also, you know Seokjin? Kim Seokjin?

No: sometimes i wish i wouldnt

Mochi: Omg same

Hope: Ok guys, I'm gonna leave you for now

Hope: Today was… exhausting

No: yeah biting people must be tiring:)

Mochi: BITING?

Hope: HAHA LOOK AT THE TIME GOODNIGHT

Hope is offline

Mochi: Tell me what happened

Mochi: P l e a s e 

No: theres not much to this story

No: hoseok bit my friend in the forearm 

No: seokjin fled the crime scene

No: and im 100% sure that there was more but they havent told me

Mochi: Oh

Mochi: Oh God so it was your friend

No: …

No: right, hoseok said once something about taehyung and jimin being soulmates

No: be glad your name isnt taehyung then:))

Mochi: ...Yes sir

Mochi: I'm sorry, If I knew I would've stopped him

No: i fucking hope so

No: so idk lets talk about things

Mochi: Sure! Do you want to hear about embarrassing situations Jin-hyung found himself in?

No: what kind of question is that?

Mochi: D:

No: obviously yes, what are you even waiting for

Mochi: :D

13.50

Hope: GUYS IM GONNA BE LATE IM SO SORRY

Hope: I WAS READING BACK THE WHOLE CONVO AND IT TOOK ME 1,5 HOURS

Hope: The Jin stories were stronger than my will to be on time

No: aish 

No: go then

No: dont waste anymore time

Mochi: Are you for real… I'm already here:((

No: you are?

No: ill be there soon 

No: it will be my first time here tho

Mochi: Oh don't worry about that, I'll show you around 

Mochi: Ah

No: what

Mochi: I don't know what you look like-

No: oh me neither

Mochi: Hobi hasn't showed you???:((

Mochi: Whatever, here I go

Mochi:

No: hm 

Mochi: What

No: i think i saw you before

Mochi: really????

No: yeah, you work at mcdonalds right?

No: anyway thats me

No: 

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

13.58

ChimChim

FUCK

TAE

MY CRUSH

HOSEOK'S FRIEND IS MY CRUSH

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW

IM SO UNDERDRESSED

NOW I CAN'T SEDUCE HIM 

ENXJWNXJSKX

FUCK I SEE HIM

TAE PLEASE SAVE ME

But also

The blonde hair worked, he remembers me;)))

So suck it up Tae

Now I can finally dye it again

19.05

TaeTae

God I had so much fun today

I even met that cashier again

He lived!

Oh

OH GOD JIMIN I JUST SAW

ARE YOU ALRIGHT???

JIMIN PLEASE ANSWER ME

And good for you, it's time for a change anyway

But please please please be okay

Hoseok was so scared of him

I don't want anything to happen to you:((

20.27

TaeTae

Jimin:((((

Answer me

Chapter Text

Jimin's heart drove to a sudden stop after the doorbell sound rang throughout the café. He wasn't perfectly sure that it was indeed Him who came into the room. He was occupying himself with sending frantic messages to Taehyung, which didn't exactly soothe his nerves, but at least gave him something to focus on.

"Hi." A quiet and monotonous voice cut through the calming buzz in the café. He heard the scraping of a chair before him.

Jimin never really heard his voice before, he was always too far away to catch anything, and coming closer was a risk considering Hoseok's watchful eye.

He still didn't look up, but after a solid few seconds that has made the exchange more awkward, he mumbled out, "Hi."

In every scenario Jimin had imagined, he was always confident and lippy, but why when the push comes to shove he's so flustered?

He already knew that cute mechanic in McDonald's wouldn't be the same as his other dates the first time he saw him. Now that theory seems to be proven as Jimin can't utter a single word.

He heard a long sigh. He really needs to get himself together before he'll ruin his chances with Yoongi. He slowly looked up to see his crush staring at the floor with his head turned.

"Hoseok called me to say something came up, that something being Namjoon. He'll let me know when he's done."

Jimin wasn't sure if Yoongi was doing it on purpose, but the lack of eye contact was doing wonders to his anxiety. He put down his phone, quietly observing the man before him.

"How come we all know each other in some way?" He said with a small smile creeping upon his lips.

Yoongi keep his eyes on the floor, "What do you mean?"

"I know Namjoon-ssi too." He said while tracing his phone screen scratches with his index finger. "I used to go to the bookstore he works in. Although, I know him more from Jin hyung's stories that our casual conversations."

Yoongi hummed, but Jimin could swear he has heard a warm tint in his overall monotone tone.

"I like Namjoon," Yoongi said after a beat of silence. "He… I think I could call him a hero."

Jimin noticed the subtle shift in mood, something he felt he shouldn't intrude on. "Did you know that Namjoon-ssi writes poetry?" He tried to change the subject.

"He does?" Yoongi turned back to him, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

Jimin laughed softly, "Yeah, I caught him once or twice, he was really embarrassed, but he let me read some of it."

He hadn't noticed how with every minute that passed he was getting more and more relaxed. Talking to Yoongi felt like a dream, not only was he actually here, but the conversation maintained a casual and comfortable flow.

A sigh escaped Yoongi's lips just as he was starting to get up. "I guess Hoseok's won't be coming for a while. I'm going to order, want something?"

Jimin's eyes wandered to his hands again, "An espresso, please."

"Huh, wouldn't suspect you to be the bitter coffee type."

Jimin snorted. "I know I'm cute, but I'm not some low-tier softie," he said as he played with his fingers.

"Sure," said Yoongi and left it just at that.

[ Joon & August*D ]

15.49

August*D

you doing alright there?

Joon

I don't like this

I think I'm going to die

Where does he store all of this energy?

August*D

i mean he does want to be a dancer

Joon

But I don't

And Hoseok's ruthless

I hope he won't ask how my date went though…

August*D

even if he does you can just make something up

btw

thank you

really

i seriously needed him out

Joon

I won't even ask why I have to keep him busy but-

I can't do this forever, my body isn't accustomed to that much dancing

August*D

ok

thanks for the heads up

Joon

Sure

I need to go

Hoseok's back

Yoongi put his phone away and looked at the menu board. It wasn't his usual spot, these baristas wouldn't understand his... coffee habit, but now that he knew Jimin drinks espressos he needs to show his dominance even more.

He looked over the table they sat at. Jimin was playing with a calico cat sitting in his lap. Yoongi seriously couldn't believe that guy drinks literal poison.

"What can I get for you?" A young man had asked him. Under the brown apron that he was wearing, Yoongi could see silk, see-through shirt.

He took a deep breath. "Okay this will sound seriously weird but I need you to help me out." Noticing no objections from the barista's side, he continued, "I'd like one espresso and one double espresso." He leaned on the counter, "But please add some sweet syrup to the second one, just to make it sweet but to keep its normal look, you get me?"

The barista looked him dead in the eye and said, "It's a girl, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Or a guy, I don't judge," he deadpanned. "We guys need to help each other's out, I've got you, bro, don't worry."

"Thanks…?"

"There's no need to thank me, just point to your table."

Not knowing how to act, he pointed in Jimin's direction.

The barista hummed, "Not bad man, don't fuck it up." He looked back at the register. "Your name?"

"Uh, Yoongi."

The rest of the conversation was a formality, but after hearing Yoongi's name the barista kept weirdly looking at him. Yoongi deemed it the weirdest shopping encounter he's ever had.

At least until he got called by a tall man with a greyish black hair to get his order. He could barely see his eyes, the slightly wavy bangs were definitely too long.

When Yoongi came up to the counter, the man has stared at him far too long to be considered normal. "I know you," he had finally said. "You're Jungkook's friend."

How did he end up like this? "So?"

"A friend of Jungkook is a friend of mine as well," he said and gave him a business card that read, 'Best Brownies in Seoul' with a number in dark green below it.

Yoongi raised his eyebrow, "You're dealing or something?" He joked.

The man kept his face straight. "I think your coffees are getting cold."

Yoongi decided to take his order and retreat to the table, hoping to remember to ask Jungkook who the fuck is he friends with.

[ MeetUp ]

17.43

Mochi: Hoseok where the fuck are you

No: im with jimin on this one

Mochi: Ugh

Mochi: We've drunk so much coffee I swear we don't even need your energy anymore

No: jimin

No: lets go

Mochi: Let's go where

No: idk somewhere

No: if i have to sit for another 5 minutes im gonna flip

Mochi: Yeah you're bouncing in your seat like crazy

Mochi: You're right, let's fucking roll

Mochi: Wanna go clubbing?

No: you know what 

No: fuck it

No: lets invite those baristas too

Mochi: lol okay

No is offline

Mochi: OMG HE ACTUALLY DID IT

Mochi: What a legend

Mochi: The taller one went back to the kitchen

Mochi: WHAT IS HAPPENING

Mochi: THE OTHER ONE THREW HIS APRON AND JUMPED OVER THE COUNTER

Mochi: Someone in the line yelled at him to get back to work or he will call the owner, but the guy has said 'Im the owner' and dramatically exited the café

Mochi: I love this guy already

Mochi: Alright they are calling for me

Mochi is offline

18.00

Hope is online

Hope: SORRY

Hope: IT TOOK LONGER THAN I'VE THOUGHT IT WOULD

Hope: Namjoon had a date emergency, I was teaching him how to dance:(((

Hope: Oh God 

Hope: Yoongi

Hope: You've broken one of the most important rules

Hope: Never go drink with Jimin

Hope: I forgot to tell you omg

19.30

No is online

No: ive sent you our location

No: come here

No: i lost jimin 

Hope: Have you been drinking

No: a little bit

No: im still hyper from the coffee

No: jimins been drinking a lot but he seemed fine to me

No: but he went somewhere with the barista and now i cant find him

Hope: Why would you invite a barista with you wtf

No: i dont knooow im not thinking straight

Hope: Ugh

Hope: Look for them

Hope: I'm on my way

Hope is offline

[ Park Jimin & Min Yoongi ]

19.55

Park Jimin

Hyuuungie

Where are you

Min Yoongi

i was gonna ask the same question

Park Jimin

Bam and I are in supermarket

Said he wanted to show us a cool trick!!

Min Yoongi

that sounds suspicious

Park Jimin

He said his friend Yugyeom taught it to him, used to work at Mcdonald's

The same I work at 

Min Yoongi

mcdonalds

of course

Park Jimin

Yea but they fired him cause he was starting fires all the time

Actually

I think I remember him

Min Yoongi

why would he start the fires

Park Jimin

We had cockroaches problem

Hoseok said to get rid of them asap

And so yea

Yugyeom decided that fire's fastest

Ugh cockroaches

Min Yoongi

looks like theres always something going on here

first cockroaches

now ice cream machine

Park Jimin

Ikr

I'm still working here bc pay is fine

And I love dramaa

Like Jinnie

But food

Is disgusting

Bleh

Min Yoongi

what do you mean

Park Jimin

We don't clean things we don't need to

It's not even Hoseok's fault

But like

If you cant see filth then there isn't one

Min Yoongi

damn

it really is disgusting

Park Jimin

I knoooand the ice cream???

Its the worst

The cockroaches

Rember hyunf??

Min Yoongi

i do

Park Jimin

They were IN the ice cream machine

AND they didn't even clean it afterwards!!

Min Yoongi

what the fuck

Park Jimin

Hobi was arguing with director to get new one

But he said he would get a cleaing team

Didnt shiw uo

So we needded to do simetin

Min Yoongi

okay jimin i need you to focus

if namjoon would see your grammar he would have had a stroke

Park Jimin

Sorry Hyubg

I'll try

Will click on autocorrect

We're drinking with Bam again

I don't think it's his real name

Min Yoongi

me neither

but back to the topic

Park Jimin

FUCK

BAMBAM SET THE ALCOHOL AISLE ON FIRE

Min Yoongi

wait

you were drinking in the shop?

Park Jimin

WE PAID FOR IT DW

SHIT I SEE SECURITY GUARDS COMING FOR US

Min Yoongi

just calm down

and idk

run away?

uh

i think i see the supermarket

and the total chaos inside it

aish

im coming in

[ Prince & Grumpy Cat ]

20.21

Prince

Care to explain why I need to go to a police station?

Grumpy Cat

apparently jimin needs a supervisor?

they wouldn't tell me why

Prince

Yes I know this

I've meant why you sluts are there in the first place

Grumpy Cat

its a long story…

but generally speaking bambam and jimin set a supermarket on fire

Prince

I can't even-

I'm speechless

I should've never agreed to you meeting my babies

Grumpy Cat

havent you called them sluts at some point in our conversation

Prince

Completely unrelated

Grumpy Cat

whatever

im sorry

it wasnt my fault

i wasnt there

i was still looking for them when it happened

Prince

Save your apologies for later

I'm driving Taehyung home

He's the last one remaining untainted by you and I'm not gonna ruin it.

Grumpy Cat

harsh…

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

21.19

ChimChim

Omg Tae I had such a blast

TaeTae

JIMIN

YOU'RE ALIVE

ChimChim

YES

JIN IS COMING FOR ME

TaeTae

Oooh

So that's why he wasn't talking to me anymore

He seemed furious

ChimChim

Shit

Rip Yoongi

TaeTae

Right

WHAT HAPPENED??

Your messages made it look like you were gonna die:((((

I was so so worried

ChimChim

Oh boo:(( 

I'm okay

Yoongi turned out to be so awesome!

But,,,

TaeTae

But?

ChimChim

He's a bit too interested in McDonald's affairs.

I need to keep an eye on him

TaeTae

You would do that either way

ChimChim

;)))

What can I say

TaeTae

Aish

Where are you now?

ChimChim

Police station

Yoongi's waiting with me

TaeTae

Oh

That can only mean one thing

You were drinking weren't you (._.)

Chimchim

Hehe

It was so worth it tho

He's so sweet aaa

TaeTae

...this is Yoongi?

ChimChim

Yes?

Don't tell me you know him…

No wait that would be impossible he wanted to kill you after all

TaeTae

Oh

Haha

Yeah

Well

Don't ever introduce me to him

Chimchim

No need to worry, Jin hyung wouldn't let us anyway

But why? You were so eager to know who my crush is🤔🤔🤔

TaeTae

Remember when I sneezed at that scary guy

ChimChim

Nvm don't ever meet him

TaeTae

But I'm happy for you!!

Finally!

Now you don't need to risk your job!!

ChimChim

Actually…

TaeTae

What now

ChimChim

Jin hyung is signing my papers now

And gave me a time-out

TaeTae

On meeting Yoongi?

Jeez he really is pissed

ChimChim

To be more precise, Yoongi and BamBam

But I'm not friends with him so it won't be a problem

TaeTae

So the plan is still ongoing?

ChimChim

Precisely;))

Okay Jin came back

Still angry

I'm gonna go, don't want to anger him even more

And my head's starting to hurt;;

TaeTae

It's okay Chim

Rest💜

ChimChim

You're gonna tell me tomorrow about your day!

Goodnight 💜

TaeTae

Of course

Be safe💜

Chapter Text

[BamBam & Justin Seagull]

15.42

Justin Seagull

Can I talk to you about something

BamBam

Ofc

Is it about the guy who made you gay

Justin Seagull

He didn't make me gay-

And yes it's about him

How did you know

BamBam

You only text me when he's the topic 💔

Justin Seagull

That's not true:(

BamBam

Wwait

Clients

Justin Seagull

God you're lucky you're the owner

Well

While you're busy actually working

I'll tell you a story

I hoped I would never see him again

Because I'm still embarrassed

So I'm diligently working as always

(And as you should do)

Sunday afternoon, the machine's still broken

Yoongi isn't there though, he's out somewhere

And who I saw happily strutting in my direction?

T h e  M a n

He was smiling so much his mouth made a fucking rectangular shape

Why he was so happy escapes me really

So he comes up

"Hi!"

And I say Welcome to McDonald's what can I get you today

Duh

"The machine's still broken I presume?"

"Uh yes?"

He's making a smug face now, I'm pretty much scared

"Understandable, have a nice day"

It wasn't even funny!

And he starts to go back

AND I

AS A FUCKING IDIOT I AM

SHOUT 

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA ORDER??????"

And he turns back, the smug face still there

"I used the box already;)))"

So he knows how to use it.

But that's not the worst

He saw my bandaged forearm

His face changed so rapidly from smug to terrified

He asked what happened and I said that my cat bit me

It was somewhat true lmao

He looked really sad

Wished me a quick recovery and went away 

Rjxjejzjsks I hate my job

BamBam

Yooooo

Im back 

What's so bad about that tho

He's cute

Justin Seagull

Ugh

But it was embarrassing…

BamBam

Oh so you want to impress him huh

I see 😏

Justin Seagull

No!

Ughhh why are you like this

BamBam

I ask myself the same question

Btw

You won't believe who's here

Justin Seagull

The Man?

BamBam

Lol you wish

Okay I'll tell you later

Now

Give me a sec

Justin Seagull

Aight

[Jelly & MasterKook]

16.20

Jelly

The hell did you tell BamBam

MasterKook

Hello to you too

Jelly

Yes hi

Sorry

MasterKook

No problem

What's up?

Jelly

Bambam told me to intimidate Yoongi

And to give him The Brownies

MasterKook

What

WAIT

DID YOU GIVE HIM THE BROWNIES?

Jelly

Of course not, who do you have me for?

I gave him my business card tho

Told him things…

MasterKook

I was telling Bambam about H i m

I didn't know Yoongi was in his café?

Jelly

Ugh I don't have time for this

Yoongi's on a date I guess

MasterKook

WHAT

Jelly

Give me his number

MasterKook

WAIT WAIT WAIT

WHO IS IT???

Jelly

Jungkook

I don't care

Ask Bambam

He's overly interested in them

MasterKook

Okay

Will do

Jelly

As I was saying

Yoongi's number

MasterKook

Right right

Why do you need it?

Jelly

If he calls The Brownie number then I won't answer

Or even better, I'll block him right away

Our business is safe as long as I'm here:)

MasterKook

Omg

Yugyeom

I lobe u

Jelly

Love you too Kook:))

[BamBam & Justin Seagull]

16.35

Justin Seagull

I'm calling in my favour

BamBam

Oh?

Are you sure man?

Justin Seagull

Yes

I need to know everything

About Yoongi's date

BamBam

I mean

I was going to stalk them anyway

But if that's your wish,,,

Justin Seagull

WHAT

NO NVM 

BamBam

Too late bro

Lov u

I think they're waiting for someone tho

So it's not really a date?

But I wished him luck earlier and he said nothing soooo

Justin Seagull

I need facts 

Not speculations

BamBam

Yes sir

17.48

BamBam

Yoongi's all over the place but I think he's coming to me???

Justin Seagull

What are you waiting for then

BamBam

Right

19.37

BamBam

Omg Jimin is so fun

I lov him

Tell Yoongi he has my blessing

You knkw what Ill tell him myself

Justin Seagull

Who's Jimin

BamBam

Park Jimin

He's the date

Hes so cute…. and I made him drunk

No regrets

Justin Seagull

So you went drinking

Nice

So it really is a date?

BamBam

Jimin had wanted to but they were supposed to meet up with Hoseok???

Justin Seagull

Ah

BamBam

Who's Hoseok

Justin Seagull

Doesn't matter

And here I was

 Thinking Yoongi has finally found love:(

BamBam

I mean

Jimin's pretty much interested

Since day 1 as it turns out

Justin Seagull

?

BamBam

He saw him at work and fell for him instantly

Isn't that sweet

I love me some romance

Justin Seagull

Aww

We need to make it happen

Do you understand me

Jimin has to like you

Do something cool

Actually, I think I know what will work

BamBam

Ok

But

Bro…

Does it mean…?

Justin Seagull

Yes

'97 liners

BamBam

Assemble.

20.29

BamBam

Also

He works with you

Justin Seagull

What???

[Manager-nim & Jin]

20.30

Jin

Where were you?

Manager-nim

What do you mean?

Jin

You were supposed to be with Jimin and Yoongi

And be careful of your words

I have Taehyung cheerfully sitting on my backseat

I don't want him to see me angrier than I already am

Manager-nim

Wait wait

If you're texting

Then who's driving

Jin

You're underestimating my angry skills

Manager-nim

I'm not

Seriously, don't text while driving what the fuck

I was with Namjoon

He had a date and wanted to learn how to dance

So he asked me for help

Jin

Ha

As if Namjoon would ask anybody to teach him something

Especially dancing

And he had a date??? He's my best friend why hasn't he told me anything!

I can't believe that only Taehyung and Jungkook haven't betrayed me yet.

[Muscle Baby & Mom]

20.46

Muscle Baby

Hyung I'm so sorry

It's my fault…

I told BamBam to show off Yugyeom's fire trick

I swear I didn't know it would end up like this:(((

Jin

You did WHAT?

I don't even remember half of your friends' names

But apparently you all are involved in this too?

Goddammit I'm so done with you

Muscle Baby

I'm sorry:((((

Jin

Save your apologies for later

Muscle Baby

Why?

Kim Seokjin created a new group chat with Park Jimin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Jeon Jungkook and Kim Namjoon

21.47

Kim Seokjin set Jeon Jungkook's nickname to Idiot 

Kim Seokjin set Min Yoongi's nickname to Soft Cutie Pie

Kim Seokjin set Jung Hoseok's nickname to Naïve Moron

Kim Seokjin set Park Jimin's nickname to Drunkass Bitch

Kim Seokjin set Kim Namjoon's nickname to Liar

Drunkass Bitch: Why the fuck is Yoongi's nickname different

Kim Seokjin: Because sweet names will hurt him more

Naïve Moron: You're a monster

Kim Seokjin: You flatter me:)

Liar: Um, what is this?

Kim Seokjin: You are going to explain everything that has happened today

Soft Cutie Pie: why is kook here

Soft Cutie Pie: he hadnt done anything?

Kim Seokjin: Oh you sweet summer child:)

Kim Seokjin: Jungkook is the reason I had to go to the police station

Kim Seokjin: You won't save him this time

Soft Cutie Pie: what

Soft Cutie Pie: jungkook is that true?

Idiot: Haha you see-

Drunkass Bitch: Who's Jungkook

Kim Seokjin: This is not a meet & greet

Drunkass Bitch: ...Alright

Liar: Let's all settle down

Liar: Yoongi?

Soft Cutie Pie: aish

Soft Cutie Pie: okay ill tell everything

Kim Seokjin: ? I'm listening

Soft Cutie Pie: hoseok jimin and i were supposed to meet up

Soft Cutie Pie: but i told namjoon to lie to hoseok that he had a date

Soft Cutie Pie: so he wouldn't have come to our meeting

Naïve Moron: Oh I see how it is

Naïve Moron: OOOOH SO THAT'S WHY THE NAIVE MORON

Naïve Moron: Well played

Kim Seokjin: You're so slow my God

Drunkass Bitch: Why would you do this though?

Liar: Honestly, I want to know too

Kim Seokjin: Yeah Yoongi, tell us:)

Kim Seokjin: And you better have a damn good reason

Kim Seokjin: If Hoseok was there this wouldn't have happened

Kim Seokjin: So tell us the truth

Naïve Moron: ...

Soft Cutie Pie: uh

Soft Cutie Pie: i wanted to go out with jimin but i was too scared to actually ask him out?

Drunkass Bitch: WHAT

[Hobi & Best Hyung Ever]

21.58

Hobi

WHAT

Best Hyung Ever

idek

Hobi

WHY WOULD YOU LIE

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE

Best Hyung Ever

i know

i had very little time for an answer

Hobi

You could've said the truth???

How Jin is going to believe this bullshit

You've never seen Jimin before

Best Hyung Ever

actually 

i did

i didn't know it was him tho

Hobi

Exactly what I'm saying????

Best Hyung Ever

trust me

seokjin will flip

he wont even notice

[Kim Seokjin, Drunkass Bitch and 4 more]

22.00

Liar: Well, that was unexpected

Kim Seokjin: WHAT?

Kim Seokjin: After all of this? You think I'll let you near Jimin again?

Soft Cutie Pie: youre not his father nor mother?

Drunkass Bitch: Is this for real

Drunkass Bitch: Can I add Taehyung? He needs to see this

Kim Seokjin: Don't you dare

Kim Seokjin: I can understand you Yoongi. Jimin looks like an angel

Naïve Moron: I can't believe this

Soft Cutie Pie: :)

Kim Seokjin: We'll get back to that

Kim Seokjin: Jungkook.

Idiot: Yes hyung?

Kim Seokjin: Explain to everyone how dumb you are

Idiot: Yes hyung…

[Park Jimin & Min Yoongi]

22.11

Min Yoongi

im sorry jimin

i had to tell him something so he would leave me alone

Park Jimin

I'm sorry what

Min Yoongi

uh

Park Jimin

Jk jk

I get it

Chill

It's A-OK

Min Yoongi

okay

im glad we are one the same page

Park Jimin

Why are you apologizing though

You're hetero?

Min Yoongi

no

i thought you are

im bi

Park Jimin

Oh

I'm gay

Min Yoongi

oh cool

Park Jimin

Cool

[Kim Seokjin, Drunkass Bitch and 4 more]

22.26

Liar: Why is everyone working at McDonald's psychotic in some way or another

Idiot: Yugyeom isn't psychotic

Drunkass Bitch: He lighted cockroaches on fire

Idiot: So what, we had to get rid of them quickly

Kim Seokjin: I'm losing my faith in all of you

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

9.46

McKookie: What happened to angryjin chat?

Yoongi: seokjin kicked everyone out and then deleted it

Seokjinnie: Don't worry, I have lots of screenshots:)

Seokjinnie: And I'm still angry.

McKookie: Nice

McKookie: Yoongi hyung

Yoongi: whats up

McKookie: Are you home?

Yoongi: yes

Yoongi: im going out in a sec tho

Yoongi: what do you need?

McKookie: I left my camera at home…

Yoongi: oh no

Yoongi: how am i supposed to find it

McKookie: It's somewhere on my bed!

McKookie: Pleaseeee I need it

Yoongi: …

Yoongi: i hate your room

Yoongi: when will you finally clean it

I'm J-hope is online

McKookie: Someday…

Yoongi: i feel like being watched jesus

I'm J-hope: What's wrong with Jungkook's room

I'm J-hope: Except for the mess

McKookie: Hyung

McKookie: Don't do this

Yoongi: I dont remember how the walls looked like there

Yoongi: they are covered with posters of iron man

Yoongi: and gdragon 

I'm J-hope: Omg

McKookie: Thanks for telling that to my boss

I'm J-hope: Come on Jungkook

I'm J-hope: We're friends here :D

McKookie: Mhm

McKookie: Tell it to my face

I'm J-hope: Jungkook

I'm J-hope: You're talking with your supervisor

McKookie: I'm sorry Hoseok-ssi

I'm J-hope: Omg I'm joking

Seokjinnie: Gottem

Seokjinnie: Also aww you still have your posters

Seokjinnie: Do you wear your Ironman socks too?

McKookie: No

Yoongi: Yes

McKookie: HYUNG

McKookie: I DON'T WEAR THEM ANYMORE

I'm J-hope: Ahahaha what a cutie

Yoongi: if you dont then throw them away wtf

McKookie: But I have so many good memories attached to them…

Yoongi: like that kidnapping

I'm J-hope: WhAT?

Yoongi: when i was on my first year my older friends wanted to give me a uni baptism 

Yoongi: they broke into our apartment in the middle of the night with their faces covered and threw jungkook and i to a van

Yoongi: jungkook was scared shitless but those idiots blew their cover when they saw his ironman socks

Yoongi: they started laughing like crazy and the whole plan went to shit

I'm J-hope: Ahahaha

I'm J-hope: Wait Jungkook wears socks to sleep?

I'm J-hope: Omg what's wrong with you

McKookie: My feet get cold easily>:(

I'm J-hope: Do you wear socks while having sex too lol

McKookie: He did it-

Yoongi: hoseok you dumbass

I'm J-hope: What?

Seokjinnie: JUNG HOSEOK.

Seokjinnie: WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT SUCH IMPURE ACTIVITIES HERE

I'm J-hope: What? 

I'm J-hope: But you're like the biggest hoe of them all

I'm J-hope: You're the one who created the Hoes gc in the first place????

Yoongi: oh lord

Yoongi: have him in your care

Seokjinnie: You will not talk to me with that foul mouth!

Seokjinne: AND expose me like this!

Seokjinnie: I'm banishing you from my kingdom!

I'm J-hope: What do you mean

Seokjinnie kicked out I'm J-hope from the group chat

Yoongi: rip

McKookie: He shall be remembered

Seokjinnie: Jungkook listen to your lecture for once and get off that phone

McKookie: Yes Your Highness

McKookie is offline

[ Hoes ]

9.59

Hoesok: Jin add me back>:(((

Gray: It's Your Highness for you.

Hoesok: @Succubi do you want to know why Taemin didn't answer your valentine's day card?

Gray: Hahaha there's no need to be so drastic is there?

Succubi: Huh? Why would you bring it up? Jinnie gave it to him and Taemin ignored it, I'm already over it

Gray: You see? Why would you make him remember

Hoesok: :))) add me back

Gray: Never.

Hoesok: Jin forgot about it and when you asked about it in the evening he tried to deliver it but he slipped and the card flew away

Succubi: WHAT

Succubi: HOW COULD YOU?!

Gray: You said you were over it!

Succubi: I obviously lied?????

Gray: Wait so Taemin is this mysterious crush of yours?

Succubi: No and don't change the subject! I thought he wasn't interested!! Have you ever seen him dance??? That's the hottest thing I've ever witnessed and you blew my chances with him!!

Gray: Well your intentions were clearly sexual

Gray: You wouldn't cry over it would you

Hoesok: He did

Gray: And how the hell would you know

Succubi: I confided in him bc Tae wouldn't get it

Gray: I'm sorry Jiminie

Gray: How can I ever repay you?

Succubi: Add Hobi to your group chat

Gray: You don't know what you're talking about

Gray: What did he promise you?

Succubi: Not your business.

Gray: Don't tell me… He knows your crush?

Succubi: Not

Succubi: Your

Succubi: Business.

Gray: Omg Hoseok knows your crush

Gray: @Hoesok what did you promise him

Gray: QUICKLY

Hoesok: Uh

Hoesok: As much as I'd love to expose him

Hoesok: I would risk my other friend's life 

Hoesok: So not this time

Succubi: I can't believe it,,,, Hobi used his brain for once,,,,

Hoesok: Yah

Hoesok: Your life's in my hands now

Hoesok: Remember that

Succubi: Will do… will do

[ King and the peasants ]

10.19

Seokjinnie added Jung Hoseok to the group chat

Yoongi: see

Bookjoon: That went fast

Yoongi: he obviously got blackmailed

Seokjinnie: One day I'll get my revenge

Jung Hoseok: So now that I'm back:)

Jung Hoseok: Yoongi hyung did you find the camera

Yoongi: yes

Yoongi: it was in the bed

Bookjoon: You mean on the bed?

Yoongi: no

Yoongi: i n  the bed

Yoongi: somehow it got stuck under the mattress

Yoongi: this kid sometimes-

Bookjoon: I'm glad I live alone

Seokjinnie: You do?

Bookjoon: Yeah, it might be uncomfortable at times but I like my space:)

Seokjinnie: Right

Bookjoon: You live alone too, don't you?

Seokjinnie: Yes and I totally think it's awesome

Bookjoon: Okay lol

Yoongi: wouldnt want to stop your lovely convo but

Yoongi: hoseok are you working rn?

Jung Hoseok: No why?

Yoongi: nothing

Jung Hoseok: Jimin should be there tho

Jung Hoseok: If you need anything

Yoongi: mhm ok

[ Best Hyung Ever & Hobi ]

10.22

Hobi

How was your meeting btw

Did you like it?

Best Hyung Ever

why are you asking

Hobi

Jiminie's my friend

I want my friends to get along:(

Best Hyung Ever

hes nice

a little too eager at times

Hobi

Ugh what did he tell you

I swear he isn't normally this horny

Best Hyung Ever

what

Hobi

What

Best Hyung Ever

i will remember that

Hobi

Okay

Haha

I'm so dead

Anyway

Best Hyung Ever

is this about yesterdays angryjin chat

Hobi

Uuuh

He has a crush so maybe idk

Best Hyung Ever

oh

i didn't know

god i must have made him so uncomfortable

so stupid

Hobi

He did seem to be kinda affected by it…

Best Hyung Ever

god

thank god hes working now

ill apologize to him again in person 

Hobi

But aren't you working too?

Best Hyung Ever

i am

Hobi

Does it mean...

Best Hyung Ever

it does

Hobi

IEBZJSNZJZJXNXSK

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

10.26

TaeTae

Do you know any good bookstores 

Important requirement: I'm kinda broke

ChimChim

Hmmm

I know one

Yoongi's friend works there;)))

I can give you the address

TaeTae

Aaaa thank you Jiminie!!

ChimChim

But,

TaeTae

Oh no:(

ChimChim

I need you to befriend Namjoon

Yoongi's friend I mean

TaeTae

I hope you're not using my talent for your evil schemes

ChimChim

I do but they're not evil

Not this time at least

TaeTae

Fair enough

ChimChim

What do you wanna buy?

TaeTae

I need a book about cat's discipline 😺

ChimChim

You don't even have a cat

TaeTae

It's not for me

ChimChim

Then who

Tae?

Come on!!

Ughhh

[ Min Yoongi & Park Jimin ]

10.47

Min Yoongi

hi

im coming to fix the damn machine

but i need to talk to you

so take a break or something

Park Jimin

That's not how breaks work

Min Yoongi

didnt stop you from using your phone for the last hour

Park Jimin

Yeah but I can get away with it😑

Hobi's not here and the other manager is a huge bitch

Min Yoongi

for making you work? 

Park Jimin

Maybe

Min Yoongi

ill be here in a moment

so idk think of something

Park Jimin

Okay

[ Kai & Jiminie ]

10.52

Jiminie

Jongin hyung

It's time

10.59

Kai

Are you 100% sure?

Jiminie

Yes

Kai

I'll be there in 15 minutes

I hope you know what you're doing

Jiminie

I do

I'll be waiting

[ Min Yoongi & Park Jimin ]

11.19

Park Jimin

Hyung are you finished

Min Yoongi

almost

why is your manager arguing with some rando from subway

Park Jimin

It's Jongin

He's a manager in Subway

I told him to come here and declare a war

They wanted to do it anyway soo

Anyway I'm waiting in the break room

Min Yoongi

this is so weird

maybe we should intervene

they look ready to fight

Park Jimin

Don't bother

Jongin would win anyway

Min Yoongi

ok 

im coming now

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

12.43

ChimChim

Tae I beg you

Come pick me up

Not now

When I'm finished

TaeTae

Sure I wanted to go there anyway

Did something happen?:(

ChimChim

Yes

I fucked up real hard

I want to do something cool with you to forget

TaeTae

Oh no:((((

Jiminie what happened:((

ChimChim

Yoongi came by today

Surprisingly today the machine broke on its own

TaeTae

Not surprised at all

ChimChim

He wanted to talk with me abt something

So I made Subway declare war on us

TaeTae

What people won't do for love…

ChimChim

Everything was cool to this point

But then

Yoongi apologized once again for lying about wanting to go out with me

Big oof btw

And said

"i know you have a crush so im sorry if seokjin will bother you about me now"

TaeTae

Why are you writing like that

ChimChim

That's how he writes but if you would hear him he sounds exactly the same

It was really embarrassing

He thinks I have a crush on someone else

And offered me help:)

I didn't want to be rude so I accepted it…

TaeTae

Oh gosh

ChimChim

Yeaaaah I hope he will forget about it

TaeTae

Even if he won't

I'm sure you will use this situation to your advantage!!

You're an evil mastermind after all!

ChimChim

Yeah

You're right!

Thank you TaeTae💜

TaeTae

No problem💜

Chapter Text

[ King and the peasants ]

18.53

McKookie: Did I tell you about the Cat Bite situation?

Bookjoon: You did, yes

Yoongi: i would never forget that

Seokjinnie: I'm still salty I wasn't there

Jung Hoseok: Me too tbh

McKookie: Oh so everyone is here

McKookie: How lovely

Bookjoon: Did you meet him again?

McKookie: I did-

Jung Hoseok: Aww this is a kdrama I can non-stop watch

McKookie: …

Yoongi: let him speak

McKookie: As I was saying

McKookie: He came here and immediately walked up to me

McKookie: I told him my line (without doing anything stupid)

McKookie: But he told me he's here to pick up a friend

McKookie: He looked at my forearm and gave me a gift bag

McKookie: Ofc I looked right inside

Seokjinnie: No manners... smh

McKookie: And it was… a book about cat's discipline…

Bookjoon: Huh

Jung Hoseok: Aaaaawwww he didn't want you to get hurt again idbxjsz

McKookie: I felt awful for lying lmao but I thanked him anyway

McKookie: He did that iconic smile of his and went for his friend I guess

Seokjinnie: You didn't tell us anything about the smile

McKookie: I mean it's just a smile but very cute one

Jung Hoseok: My heart :(((((

Yoongi: did you ask him out

McKookie: HYUNG

Seokjinnie: Yeah, did you?

McKookie: COME ON

Bookjoon: So he didn’t

Bookjoon:  But if you had a second chance, would you?

McKookie: Why are you asking me this

McKookie: I don’t know okay

McKookie: I guess I wouldn’t? I’m not interested in guys you know that…

Seokjinnie: But you’re interested in him

McKookie: Not like that.

Jung Hoseok: Next time he’s here come and get me

Jung Hoseok: I need to see him!!

McKookie: I rather not, Hoseok-ssi

Jung Hoseok: :(

Seokjinnie: Jungkook for fuck’s sake he’s younger than me why are you so formal with him

Yoongi: language:)

Seokjinnie: Shut up dwarf I make the rules in this kingdom

Jung Hoseok: Well I get him, I’m his supervisor and all but still :(((

Yoongi: and you made hobi sad

Yoongi: are you proud of yourself?

McKookie:...

[ Rap Monster & Brat ]

18.58

Rap Monster

Hey

I'm sorry for them, I kinda feel responsible for this mess

Brat

Don't be

Rap Monster

Aish

Look, I asked because I *think* he bought the book he gave you at the bookstore I work in

He had honey/brown hair, it really depended on the lighting honestly; tan skin, really low voice

Brat

I don't know… it kinda matches but I'm not sure:(

Did you snag a photo?? Please tell me you did

Rap Monster

First of all, I didn't even know it could've been your guy from McDonald's

Second of all, taking pictures of strangers is a huge violation of privacy

Brat

Yeah sure

Rap Monster

I have something better

Brat

And what could that be huh

Rap Monster

Brat

WHAT

Rap Monster

Is it him?

Brat

Yes!! 

But how??

Rap Monster

To be honest, I'm not sure myself

He came into the shop and asked me about the book,

I showed him some copies to choose from

And after that, we just started talking

He was really nice and polite

Brat

You just-

You just talked

You didn't know each other but you talked

Rap Monster

Yes Jungkookie, that's what people do

Normally I would be surprised

But if you'd actually tried to talk to him you would understand

It was really easy to maintain a conversation with him

Brat

But what about the selca??

Rap Monster

Ah yes

That

He may have been polite but after a while he started to be a little excited? Because, as he had put it, I "turned out to be really smart but not meanie smart"

Whatever that means

Brat

Now that does sound more like him

Rap Monster

So he decided to immortalize the moment

With my phone

I know it doesn't make sense, I think it's an excuse so he could come here again

Brat

Wow

Suddenly I'm not mad anymore

Rap Monster

Also now I can understand what you've meant

He really is beautiful

And I'm saying it as a straight person myself

Brat

See!

He's just so otherworldly

And he isn't wearing anything that stylish

Or he doesn't do anything with his hair

Rap Monster

I can agree with the first statement

But you know jack shit about hair 

Every time you dye yours you pick up random colour and still call it brown

Brat

Well because it is brown???

Rap Monster

Exactly what I'm saying

But yes, he does have a natural-like look

Brat

Whatever

What's his name?

Rap Monster

We didn't get that far

Brat

You have a selca together but don't know each other's names-

Rap Monster

To be more precise, I don't know his

Mine was on my badge

Brat

Hyuuuung:(

That's like the first thing you wanna know about someone

Rap Monster

Alright, alright

Next time I'll ask

Brat

Thank you:(

Also,

Can this stay between us?

I don't want the others to tease me…

Rap Monster

No problem:)

My mouth is sealed

Brat

Thank you hyung:)

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

18.59

Yoongles

jungkookie

im sorry

i didnt mean to make you feel bad

i guess i should've thought it through

19.27

Jungleok

It's fine hyung

You didn't even say anything that mean

Yoongles

maybe 

or maybe youre playing it down

so i wouldnt feel bad about myself

Jungleok

It's seriously fine

Hyung

You know I wouldn't do that

Not to you

Yoongles

okay

Jungleok

How are you feeling?

Yoongles

this conversation is supposed to be about you not me

Jungleok

How sad

It changed 

Come on

Yoongles

you wont leave me alone until i tell you will you

Jungleok

Mhm

Yoongles

aish

ive been better

tbh it wouldve been worse if it wasnt for hoseok

weve met just as i was starting to feel worse

so dont worry

hyung is fine

Jungleok

Are you sure?

Yoongles

yes

im sure

Jungleok

Okay

But tell me if anything changes

Or Namjoon hyung

Or Jin hyung

Whoever you want to

Yoongles

im not a kid

chill

i know

thank you jungkookie

Jungleok

We all love you hyung

Remember that

Yoongles

aish seriously

you always make it about me

take out for dinner?

Jungleok

Can i choose?

Yoongles

yes

Jungleok

💖

[ King and the peasants ]

20.38

Yoongi is online

Yoongi: so i came home with thai take out

Yoongi: just to see jeon jungkook sitting on the floor while reading that damn book about cats

Yoongi: should we get a cat?

Jung Hoseok: Aww 

Jung Hoseok: You could

Yoongi: i mean

Yoongi: jungkookie doesn't like cats

Jung Hoseok: "Jungkookie"

Jung Hoseok: 💖💖💖

Yoongi: ew

Jung Hoseok: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID IT

Yoongi: and i regret it deeply

Seokjinnie is online

Seokjinnie: UwU

Yoongi: you couldve just kill me instead

Seokjinnie: Aww Yoongi just embrace it

Seokjinnie: You're a softie

Jung Hoseok: Huh someone's in a good mood

Yoongi: ikr he had a perfect chance to insult me

Yoongi: so

Yoongi: did you get the d

Seokjinnie: Not this time

Seokjinnie: I had an intense study session tonight

Seokjinnie: And Namjoon came over to give us snacks:))

Jung Hoseok: Aww 

Yoongi: namjoon cant cook tho

Seokjinnie: As i said

Seokjinnie: Snacks

Seokjinnie: He bought them 

Seokjinnie: Still a nice gesture that you won't ruin no matter what you do.

Yoongi: sorry

Yoongi: it was nice indeed

Yoongi: god jungkook looks so immersed in this book im not sure if i want to make him eat

Seokjinnie: If only he was so interested in the books he actually has to read…

Jung Hoseok: @Bookjoon come collect your man, he's starting to be a bitch again

Seokjinnie: Do you really wanna fight?

Seokjinnie: I can fight

Seokjinnie: Unlike you, getting punched by a boy 3 years younger than you and all

Yoongi: what

Jung Hoseok: Yoongi hyung don't worry your pretty little head about it

Yoongi: some brat punched you? 

Yoongi: who was it

Yoongi: i can show them how to treat someone with respect:)))

Jung Hoseok: No one

Jung Hoseok: It was no one

Yoongi: Hoseok

Jung Hoseok: Oh shit

Yoongi: You can't let people treat you like shit

Yoongi: Especially some young brat without manners

Jung Hoseok: Hyung it's okay

Jung Hoseok: @Seokjinnie Look what you've done>:(

Seokjinnie: Oops haha

Yoongi: hyung do you know who did this?

Bookjoon is online

Seokjinnie: I do

Seokjinnie: But it's not my place to tell it

Yoongi: you just want hobi to say it dont you

Seokjinnie: ;)))))

Bookjoon: Hyung don't be a bitch

Bookjoon: And Hoseok hyung, please don't use "your man" it sounds wrong

Seokjinnie: Thank you Joonie:) Hoseok will definitely start to word his sentences better:)

Jung Hoseok: I will, sorry

Yoongi: anyway

Yoongi: tell me who it is

Bookjoon: I want to know too

Bookjoon: When Hoseok hyung was teaching me how to dance his foundation melted off, revealing the bruise on his face

Yoongi: god what

Jung Hoseok: Foundation doesn't "melt off"

Jung Hoseok: I was really sweaty and forgot I had it on me😑

Seokjinnie: That's how buying the cheapest foundation ends up like

Jung Hoseok: It's not like I had money or knowledge to buy this stuff

Seokjinnie: You could've asked me🙄

Yoongi: so what youre telling me right now is

Yoongi: you planned to hide your incident while meeting up with jimin and me?

Jung Hoseok: uhm yes, but when you put it like that…..

Yoongi: i cant believe this

Bookjoon: Hoseok hyung, just agree with him now

Bookjoon: He's in the Zone™

Seokjinnie: Oh yeah, just say you were an idiot or smth

Yoongi: dont help him out

Bookjoon: Use your cuteness hyung

Seokjinnie: Do it

Yoongi: Hoseok, I'm your friend

Yoongi: I thought it was mutual

Bookjoon: The only upside of a serious, worrying Yoongi is that he can actually write grammatically correct

Jung Hoseok: Of course it's mutual! I'm sorry hyung:(((

Yoongi: 'Sorry' won't cut it

Yoongi: What if this foundation was some cheap knock-off that didn't get through OHS standards*

Jung Hoseok: It wasn't a knock-off

Jung Hoseok: I think:/

Yoongi: Wow

Yoongi: You think

Seokjinnie: Hoseok come on

Jung Hoseok: Aish…

Jung Hoseok: Hyungie:(((

Jung Hoseok: I haven't wanted to worry you:((

Jung Hoseok: You already had so much on your plate:(

Jung Hoseok: Hobi wants to put a smile on your face not a frown☺️💖

Jung Hoseok: Please understand this, I want you to be happy💜

Yoongi: …

Yoongi: next time just tell me

Yoongi: im your hyung, i want to make you smile too

Yoongi: :(

Seokjinnie: He did it!

Bookjoon: I'm so bad at this

Jung Hoseok: What was the bet about...

Seokjinnie: If Yoongi would send a weird emoji

Jung Hoseok: :( isn’t an emoji per se…

Jung Hoseok: And it isn’t weird

Seokjinnie: Have you ever seen Yoongi use it?

Jung Hoseok: Fair point

Chapter Text

[ BamBam & Justin Seagull ]

12.30

BamBam

Let's review the plan

Justin Seagull

Okay

BamBam

But first

BamBam changed your nickname to Agent J

BamBam changed his nickname to Agent B

Agent B

Now we're safe

Agent J

For sure

Agent B

Please continue

Agent J

So

I was working for a full week and looked for Jimin to no avail

By some miracle, he has to either work different shifts or not work there at all

So basically

We're going to McDonald's

Agent B

Affirmative

Did you leave your headphones in the break room as we agreed?

Agent J

Yes

I also left there my homework

But that wasn't intentional

So we REALLY need to go retrieve my things

Agent B

Lol

Okay

So even if Jimin's a cashier we play the lost headphones card

Agent J

Unfortunately yes…

Agent B

Hey don't worry

It's okay

Agent J

Well I do hope so cause it's due tomorrow

Agent B

Chill

So thanks to some shit architect the break room is on the other end of McDonald's

Agent J

It's not really the other end, more like the middle

Agent B

But enough for us to go in and look around

Agent J

Wait wait wait

When did we agree to you coming with me

That's against the rules

Agent B

And when did you exactly care about those rules

Agent J

Hey! I do follow them sometimes!

Agent B

Not this time

You don't know how Jimin looks like

Agent J

Fine

If someone asks who are you just tell them you're from the night shift

They're practically ghosts

Agent B

How so?

Agent J

Nobody knows who they are, everyone tells legends about them and they do the impossible

Perfect example:

They make it possible for us to work the next day

And let me tell you, everything is a mess at the end of the evening shift

I still have nightmares when I had to stay and clean the fryer…

Agent B

McDonald's crazy man

Mad respect for yall to work here

Agent J

Thanks

I'm almost there

Agent B

See you in a sec

12.49

Agent B

Did you get your things?

Agent J

Yes

Agent B

Good

I found Jimin

People are looking at me tho

13.02

Agent B

Where are you

Agent J

I escaped with Jimin

Agent B

Please save me

Why did I say that I work overnight

God

Agent J

I didn't know they would react like that

You're a star now lol

Give them autographs or something

Agent B

You're laughing but they are actually asking for them

Agent J

Jimin wants to say something

Let me just-

BAMBAM WHAT THE FUCK

Agent B

Hi Jiminie!

Agent J

I don't know who's dumber

You or them

You don't even look like a night shift hero

Agent B

And who would huh

Yoongi?

Agent J

Honestly? Yeah, for example

He's handsome, but he does look a little like death itself

But tbh it suits him;)))

Ew

I got my stuff back btw

Can you please go away, I need to work

Also,,, I don't really know you Jungkook

What do you want from me

Uh, I'll tell you later

Agent B

Why are you messaging me on one phone

I have no idea who's writing when

Can't you talk irl

Agent J

Sorry

Jimin's going back to save you

Thank you for introducing me to him btw

Too bad some passerby asked who you are:(

Agent B

I must say

Being famous suits me

Maybe I should become an idol

Agent J

Pffftt

Yeah, sure

Agent B

What, you think I'd suck at it?

Agent J

You said it not me

Agent B

When I'll become a successful idol I won't invite you to any of my concerts

Agent J

;(

Agent B

😠😠😠

[ Park Jimin & Jeon Jungkook ]

16.48

Park Jimin

What's your deal then

Jeon Jungkook

Nice to meet you too 😑

Park Jimin

What did you expect

Some random was looking for me with his crazy friend

I like BamBam but our first meeting gave me a ban on him and Yoongi >:(

Jeon Jungkook

What you live with your parents or something

Park Jimin

Kim Seokjin

At this point, I'm expecting you to know him

Jeon Jungkook

Why are you so sure

And yes I know him

Park Jimin

Lately, everyone I've been meeting had some connections with my friends

It's really weird

Anyway

What do you want

Jeon Jungkook

I heard that you like Yoongi hyung

Park Jimin

'Yoongi hyung'

Are you his little brother or something

Jeon Jungkook

I mean

Kinda?

But no, I'm not

Park Jimin

So what you want me to stay away from him cause let me tell you this ain't happening soon

Jeon Jungkook

Ffs

Can you stop being so passive-agressive

I want to help you!

Park Jimin

Oh

You do?

Jeon Jungkook

YES

Park Jimin

Sorry then lol

Let's start fresh

Hi!! I'm Park Jimin 💜

Jeon Jungkook

Woah you're like a different person now

Should I tell Yoongi you're a sociopath?

Park Jimin

Ha ha ha

Park Jimin set your nickname to Comedian

Comedian

Lol

Comedian set Park Jimin 's nickname to Sociopath

Sociopath

…

And I offered to start fresh,,,, the audacity,,,

Comedian

Sorry

Sociopath

It's fine

Have your fun while you still can

Comedian

How long do you know Seokjin hyung

You seem to take a lot after him

Sociopath

Huh, really?

Actually, now that you've pointed it out,,,

Idk I think 4,5 years?

I know I met him at an airport

Comedian

It was embarrassing right?

Sociopath

So embarrassing-

Not that much for me as for him lol

You wanna hear about it?

Comedian

Sure:)

Sociopath

Okay so like

I was with my friend waiting for a plane to Busan

And he ate something weird I don't really remember what

But he got a strong stomach ache

Like seriously, I've never seen him this pale

He wasn't reacting to anything I said and he broke into cold sweats

I thought he was dying

Comedian

Jesus

That must've been terrifying

Sociopath

It really was

But because I was a stupid teenager I yelled out "IS A DOCTOR HERE!?"

And unfortunately

Jin turned up

"I'm a doctor to be!" He yelled

Tbh I was fucking scared

He looked so excited

My friend was dying and this guy looked like he just won tickets to see Beyonce

Comedian

Hyung why…

Sociopath

So he crouches next to us

Asks me a couple of questions

In that moment I learned he was a freshman

That really eased my worries:))))))

Comedian

But your friend lived right

Sociopath

Yeah he's fine

He tried to talk to him but it was pretty useless

My friend looked paler each second

When suddenly

He threw up onto Jin's lap

Comedian

Oh my god

Sociopath

He immediately looked better tho lol

"Hi Jiminie, oh who is this???"

So innocent….

Jin was astonished

And I realized that a lot of people were watching us

Some were laughing

Some were as speechless as Jin

Then his Parent Instinct™ kicked in

And we became friends

Comedian

What a heartwarming story

I'll use it as a blackmail material

Sociopath

I like that

Feel free to send me screenshots

Comedian

;))

Sociopath

Alright you're cool

Sorry for being a bitch earlier

Comedian

Nah it's fine

Soo are we gonna get to know each other or something?

Sociopath

Fuck that, it'll come around

Let's get right into business

Comedian

Okay

I know Yoongi hyung for a long time so I think I'm quite qualified for this job

I have a team to help me tho

Just to be sure

Sociopath

A team??? 

What a professional

Although I have to ask

Why do you want to help me?

Comedian

I know you don't really know him and you just liked his looks

But even then, not many people notice him like that

Most are just scared or treat him like a colleague

Sociopath

:((

I did meet him

And he was really nice and considerate

Ughh my heartttt😫

Comedian

Ew

But yeah exactly my point

I just want him to have someone in his life that will be so much more than a friend

Don't get me wrong I would travel to hell and back for him

And not only me

But even I can see a difference between a friend and a lover

Sociopath

Awww

That was really sweet Jungkookie:33

Comedian

I'm serious

He isn't oblivious but he won't admit to himself than anyone could like him like that😑

He just needs a little push;))

Sociopath

Yeah I'm in

I'm so in

Comedian

Ok but if you hurt him my whole team will see to it that you suffer for the rest of your life

Sociopath

Won't ever happen, sir

Comedian

Good

So let's start from the beginning

Sociopath

Alright

The first time I saw him was 2 months ago

He came to fix the ice cream machine

And I fell in love at first sight

I still had black hair back then so he probably doesn't remember me

But I dyed it blonde just so I would stand out

Comedian

What dedication

Sociopath

Really

My heart did that weird thing it does in dramas

I was so desperate to see him again

But it's not like I could ask Hoseok for his number or something

He was scared shitless every time he saw Yoongi

The only thing I knew was that he was the one fixing the machine so yeah it was pretty much nothing lol

Comedian

Stop

Please stop

Sociopath

???

Comedian

I just connected the dots

Sociopath

Uh

What

Comedian

You said you met him 2 months ago

Do you know what else has started 2 months ago?

Sociopath

I have no idea what you're talking about

Comedian

Jimin

You're the ice cream traitor

Sociopath

Whaaaat

Comedian

Don't play dumb with me!

GOD I had so many embarrassing moments because of that

And it's your fault!

Sociopath

I won't say anything without the presence of my lawyer

Comedian

Why did you phrase it like that

You could've been vaguer

Now I have to live with the responsibility of knowing…

Sociopath

Wait

So you won't rat me out?

Comedian

Of course not

There's so much shit going on at McDonald's

If I told on you I'd have to reveal everyone's secrets

And you know what a bunch of weirdos work here

Sociopath

Yeah I know

Omg Jungkookie!!! Thank you sm💜💜💜

Well if you're helping me get mah man then I won't need to break this shitty machine just to see him:3

Comedian

So you're admitting it was you

Sociopath

Yeah whatever just don't tell Hoseok or Yoongi

Comedian

Yoongi?

Sociopath

Mhm I think he has an investigation going on

Probably Hoseok's fault

I may be cute but I'm not an idiot;)

Comedian

Ughh that complicates things

Aish whatever

We can do this

Sociopath

Yeah!!

Anything else you wanna know?

Comedian

Hmm

Yes

[ Rap Monster & Brat ]

17.14

Rap Monster

Kookie

Brat

Hmmm

Rap Monster

He's here again, should I talk to him?

Brat

HHeis?momg kdjxjsjz

Rap Monster

I'm glad you're happy but please write like a human being

Brat

Right sorry

Rap Monster

He's on a phone right now

Ah so I'm a stalker now

Brat

Nooo

Well

Maybe

A little bit

Rap Monster

You know

I think you should come here and talk to him

It's pretty obvious you're interested in him one way or another

Brat

No

Hyung I'm serious

It's not like that

I am interested but like

He gave me a present??? Even if he didn't need to

He's really nice and I feel obligated to repay him somehow

Rap Monster

I see

He noticed me staring

Be right back

Brat

LEARN HIS NAME

[ King and the peasants ]

17.41

Seokjinnie: As you probably noticed

Seokjinnie: Halloween is coming

Seokjinnie: Does any of you have plans?

Yoongi: annual horror movie night

McKookie: Right

McKookie: Hyung, can we uh, invite other people?

Yoongi: of course

Yoongi: if you're fine with it

McKookie: I am!!

Jung Hoseok: I'm going out clubbing 

Bookjoon: I will probably stay home and give out candies to kids

Seokjinnie: That's really sweet Namjoonie

Bookjoon: :)

Jung Hoseok: Get a room you two

Seokjinnie: Hoseok I swear

Seokjinnie: One more word and this Halloween you'll be celebrating in a coffin

Bookjoon: Calm down hyung

Bookjoon: He just thinks he's funny

McKookie: Wow

McKookie: Namjoon hyung be throwing shade

Jung Hoseok: Wtf you sound like Jimin

McKookie: Jimin? Who's Jimin

Jung Hoseok: Suspicious 🤨

Seokjinnie: Can we get back on track please

Seokjinnie: I wanted to say that I'll be organising a small party

Seokjinnie: If any of you wants to attend then feel free to come

Jung Hoseok: Will there be your classmates?

Seokjinnie: Classmates lol

Seokjinnie: What are you, nine?

Seokjinnie: Only a couple of them, but they're cool 

Jung Hoseok: Hmmmmm

Jung Hoseok: On a second thought

Jung Hoseok: I prefer your party:D

Seokjinnie: Sweetie, you better

Bookjoon: I'll come as well

Seokjinnie: Awesome, then you better be fast because you have only a week left for preparing your costume:))

Jung Hoseok: It's a costume party??

Bookjoon: Oh lord

[ TaeTae & ChimChim ]

18.00

TaeTae

I bring good news

ChimChim

Me too!

TaeTae

Who goes first?

ChimChim

You can

TaeTae

Okay

I think I'm friends with Namjoon!

ChimChim

Oh!! Good! You really are fast

TaeTae

I know right

I'm quite proud of myself (●´ω｀●)

ChimChim

And you should

You did a great job today:)

TaeTae

Okay now your turn

ChimChim

You better sit down for this

TaeTae

Oh? Alright Im sitting

ChimChim

Today I've met Yoongi's second best friend

Or first

Idk

TaeTae

!!!

ChimChim

That's not all

He offered me help

H e l p

He's a fucking cupid send to me from the grace of old gods

He's a brat but a clever one

Tae

He knows

TaeTae

Oh

OH

But he won't say anything right

ChimChim

He won't

And he still wants to help

!!

TaeTae

Omg Jiminie that's so awesome!!

We have a strong ally now

ChimChim

If only him…

TaeTae

What do you mean by that

ChimChim

He has a whole avenger's team

I swear to God

I think there's 8 of them??

TaeTae

Wow

8 cupids

ChimChim

It's like a love boyband

Luck's on my side;))

I have bad news though…

I won't go to Jin's Halloween party :(

TaeTae

Oh no why:((((

ChimChim

Jungkook invited me to their horror movie night!!

Jungkook's the friend btw

TaeTae

But aren't you scared of horror movies

ChimChim

Well yeah but Yoongi will be there

I can be a big boy too

TaeTae

Pffft

Sure

ChimChim

Hey!

I'm serious!!

TaeTae

Okay okay

I believe you

ChimChim

But um,,, Tae,,,

TaeTae

What is it

ChimChim

Can you walk me to their house…?

TaeTae

Looool

I can

But I'll be teasing you all the way there

ChimChim

Fine😑

Who will you be for Jin's party?

TaeTae

Joker

ChimChim

God you're so edgy sometimes

Please don't do your "why so serious" thing

TaeTae

Hey it's cool!

ChimChim

No it's not

You don't even speak english that well

TaeTae

About that!

Namjoon told me he could teach me (ヽ´ω`)

ChimChim

He knows english?

TaeTae

Mhm

He's even an English major

How cool is that??

He's really smart

ChimChim

Woah

I'm impressed

No wonder Jinnie has a thing for him

TaeTae

:(

I wish he didn't

ChimChim

It will pass dw

TaeTae

I hope so

[ Hoes ]

18.27

Hoesok: Hey Tae

Hoesok: @Babyboy

Hoesok: What was your fake account called like again

Babyboy: Vante

Babyboy: Why?

Succubi: HOSEOK

Hoesok: Nevermind

Babyboy: Jimin did you hack it again?

Succubi: You can’t call it hacking when all I do is guess your pathetic passwords

Babyboy: Make your own fake and leave mine alone>:((

Babyboy: I have it for lurking not for you to fight with people on the internet

Gray is online

Succubi: Unlike you, I don’t want to get banned on main

Babyboy: If I have to insult people I might as well do it like a man

Hoesok: #No fakes we die like men

Succubi: Fuck you guys

Succubi: Never @ me anywhere again.

Gray: What are you fleas arguing about again

Gray: What a bunch of kids

Gray: Do I need to act like a parent again?

Succubi: It's not my fault Taehyung can't share

Babyboy: It was never yours in the first place

Babyboy: I'm changing the password

Succubi: Oh please, I'll guess it again

Babyboy: I want to see you try ;)

Gray: Tae's right

Gray: Jimin you should act like an adult

Gray: If it's going to get you banned then so be it

Succubi: And how the hell will I be able to text with you then

Gray: You won't lol

Gray: This is the price you pay for bravery

Hoesok: And that's why I'm a coward

Babyboy: Hobi no offence but you wouldn't insult a fly

Succubi: And that's why you're the best manager💜

Hoesok: :(

Hoesok: I can be mean too!

Hoesok: I just prefer not to…

Gray: Good

Gray: Leave the rest to us

Babyboy: Yea at least one person here has to be baby

Succubi: Tae you're baby too

Babyboy: But I can show my claws too٩(๑`^´๑)۶

Hoesok: True

Succubi: True

Gray: But even then you're cute lol

Babyboy: Jinnie hyung has never seen my studio photos ;))

Gray: Because none of you bitches wants to show me:))))

Hoesok: Sorry hyung

Hoesok: It's a precious blackmail

Succubi: Yeah there's not much you can have on Taehyung

Babyboy: I mean, if I can't win against you then how would I be able to be an actor

Babyboy: You're worse than paparazzi

Succubi: That's right lol

Gray: Fine.

Gray: Who y'all gonna be for Halloween

Babyboy: Joker

Gray: God why

Succubi: Exactly my words

Hoesok: Idk yet

Hoesok: Something easy probably

Hoesok: Like a skeleton??

Gray: Alright

Gray: Jimin?

Babyboy: Jimin's not going this year

Gray: What?

Gray: How dare you

Succubi: Sorry hyung:(

Gray: It's fine, where are you going then?

Succubi: Um,,, it's a secret?

Gray: You're going to your crush am I right?:))

Succubi: Even if you're right

Succubi: Then what

Succubi: You're going to stalk me bc you can't figure out who's my crush?🙄

Gray: Huh that's a great idea

Succubi: Come on!!

Succubi: I got invited so it's not like I can deny now

Hoesok: You could lol

Succubi: Shut it

Gray: Ooh so your crush had invited you hmmm?

Gray: You're starting to expose yourself honey xx

Succubi: You wish

[ Comedian & Sociopath ]

18.42

Sociopath

JUNGKOOK

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS

YOU CAN'T TELL JIN I'M COMING TO YOUR MOVIE NIGHT

Comedian

What?

Why

Sociopath

He'll instantly now I'm crushing on Yoongi:))

Comedian

But isn't that quite obvious

Sociopath

Yeah to you

I'm not talking about him 24/7 on our gc

Comedian

Why are you so stuck up on keeping this from Seokjin hyung?

Sociopath

He's really… uh

He would try to help in his own way

Which would totally embarrass me

And he wouldn't shut up about it 

Comedian

Honestly

I think I get it

I saw a guy one time and thought he was really beautiful

(I'm not gay btw)

And the whole gc won't stop talking about him

Sociopath

Lol

See

Exactly my point

Comedian

Don't worry, Jimin

I won't say a word:)

Sociopath

Thank you Kookie💜

Chapter Text

[ Hoes ]

9.05

Babyboy: THIS IS HALLOWEEN

Hoesok: EVERYBODY MAKE A SCENE

Succubi: TRICK OR TREAT TILL THE NEIGHBORS GONNA DIE OF FRIGHT

Babyboy: IT'S OUR TOWN EVERYBODY SCREAM

Hoesok: IN THIS TOWN OF HALLOWEEN

Gray: Stfu

Gray: I forgot to mute my phone 

Succubi: Sorry hyung today your word has no power

Babyboy: Halloween!!!

Hoesok: 🧟🧛🦇

Babyboy: Shit professor saw me

Babyboy is offline

Succubi: Lol

Hoesok: À propos

Hoesok: Don't you have dance classes now?

Succubi: I do

Succubi: But today our teacher has a bad day

Succubi: And she's having 1vs1 routine

Succubi: I'm scared she's gonna hate on me:((

Hoesok: I mean

Hoesok: She is pretty strict

Hoesok: But she's bitching only to people who are lazy

Hoesok: Which you aren't

Succubi: Okay:((

Succubi: You MAY be right

Hoesok: Fuck you of course I'm right

Hoesok: You're one of the best dancers I know

Succubi: Awww

Succubi: That really helped Hobi 💜

Succubi: I'm still anxious but I'm glad you think I'm the best^^

Hoesok: Sunshine Hobi at your service ☀️

[THE Hyung & Namjoonie]

10.15

THE Hyung

Joonie I'm boreeed

Namjoonie

Where are you?

THE Hyung

At my lecture

We were supposed to cut bodies today

But turns out we don't have any:(

Namjoonie

'cut bodies' 

That's sounds so creepy

I think it's good though?

The lack of bodies, I mean

THE Hyung

It's not like there's no bodies

They just forgot to get them for us😑

Namjoonie

I see

You should still listen to your lecture

You give me a bad example:/

THE Hyung

Oh please

You're the role model here

Namjoonie

That's right lol

THE Hyung

God, kids are spamming the gc again

Namjoonie

You're a busy parent

THE Hyung

I really am:(

Namjoonie

What are they talking about

THE Hyung

They're singing 'this is Halloween' again

I guess they won't stop until they've sung the whole thing

Namjoonie

Lool

Hoseok hyung is there too?

THE Hyung

He is

The biggest child I swear

Namjoonie

You still love them though:)

THE Hyung

Ugh

I do…

Hey Joonie

Namjoonie

What is it?

THE Hyung

Remember when I told you about Taehyung?

Namjoonie

Taehyung?

THE Hyung

Yeah, Kim Taehyung

Namjoonie

Oh

THE Hyung

Hm?

Namjoonie

Nothing, I just remembered something

I think you mentioned him once or twice

Probably more but without including his name

THE Hyung

Yes well you're going to meet him tonight

He can be a bit weird sometimes so please be kind

Namjoonie

Don't worry hyung

I would never disappoint you:)

THE Hyung

Haha yeah I know 

[ Hoes ]

18.31

Succubi: TAE PLEASE TAKE SOME FOR ME

Babyboy: It's your fault you aren't going trick-or-treating with me

Gray: Silence

Gray: Jimin

Gray: Where are you

Succubi: Wouldn't you like to know huh

Succubi: I'm getting something to eat

Succubi: I still have some time left before the meeting;))

Gray: UGHH I WILL DISCOVER YOUR FILTHY SECRET

Succubi: Maybe you want a hint?

Gray: Never!

Succubi: Lol I knew you would be too prideful to use one

Gray: I'll inject a tracker in your neck if I'll have to

Succubi: Am I a dog to you?

Gray: Of course not, a dog would've stayed loyal

Babyboy: Oh shit (´ﾟдﾟ｀)

Succubi: I'm speechless

[ ChimChim & TaeTae ]

18.40

TaeTae

So where exactly are you?

ChimChim

I'll send you my location

Hey Tae

TaeTae

?

ChimChim

Thank you 

TaeTae

No problem

Jinnie told me Namjoon's gonna be on his party

I'll do you proud

ChimChim

So we all have a mission today

TaeTae

I've never would've guessed I'd play such a big role in your love life lol

ChimChim

Me too

18.50

TaeTae

I'm here

Let's roll

ChimChim

Yass

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

18.51

Yoongles

youre late

Jungleok

I knoow

I'm sorry

I'll be sometime after 7

Yoongles

this kid sometimes-

is your friend going to be late too?

Jungleok

I don't think so

He wouldn't dare

Yoongles

okay?

Jungkook was a pretty good runner. He runs on numerous occasions, being late on a bus, being late to classes, being late to...

Okay maybe he's just late all the time.

But today, on a Halloween evening, he was running to help a stranger crushing on his best friend. Not a typical scenario, but he's not so easily surprised anymore.

He was nearing that one particular corner before he could finally see his home, when suddenly-

"Fuck!" Jungkook yelled out after running right into someone's face. He furiously massaged his nose with his eyes squeezed shut as he was saying sorry to the poor soul unfortunate enough to slam into him.

"It's okay," chuckled the stranger and the familiarity of his voice made Jungkook stop dead in his tracks.

He opened his eyes and immediately gasped. Someone dressed as Joker was smiling at him, one of the most creepy sights Jungkook had seen this week. But that didn't make his heart run laps. What did was the face hiding underneath the thick makeup.

"It's you," Jungkook breathed out.

Tan skin, brown eyes with dancing sparkles inside them, and that weird, rectangle-shaped smile of his.

All of it covered in god-awful makeup and topped with rotten green hair.

"You look awful," commented Jungkook before he could stop himself. 

The McDonald guy started laughing at him. Oh God, McDonalds guy was laughing at him. Jungkook could feel his cheeks and ears getting hotter with embarrassment.

"What a nice way of starting a conversation," laughed the man. He didn't look offended, thankfully. "It's so weird to see you outside of McDonald's."

Jungkook's thoughts were racing faster than Lightning McQueen himself. That's why he doesn't like meeting new people. How should he act? How polite should he be? Is he older or younger? 

"-Taehyung."

Jungkook focused again. What was he saying?

As if sensing his confusion, the man added, "Kim."

"Jeon," Jungkook blubbered out. Fuck he was so awkward.

"You're American?" Taehyung Kim tilted his head. No wait, that sounds weird. His head was starting to spin.

"Uhh." 

"Nevermind," he smiled. "Your Korean is pretty good though." 

Jungkook felt like he has created a big misunderstanding that would bite him in the ass later, but processing anything that was happening in front of him was too hard for his brain to keep up.

"Thank you?" Jungkook looked down to his feet, shuffling them at the same time. He didn't know what to say anymore.

"So, John-ssi," he broke the silence. "It was nice meeting you." Seeing that Jungkook wasn't reacting at all, he added, "Aren't you in a hurry?"

The gears turned in his head again. Was he insulting him? What the fuck? He hoped Yoongi has bought the advil he promised he would. "Yes, I mean- no. No, kinda? But not really. It's complicated, give me a minute."

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

19.05

Yoongles

are you there yet

jimins already eating the popcorn

he looks ready to kill?

19.10

Jungleok

Can't come be there later bye

Yoongles

?

jungkook are you okay

When he put down his phone, Kim Taehyung (because that's how names work, not the other way around, dumbass) was standing closer than before, his intent look laying down on Jungkook, expecting something.

"Where are you going?" Asked Jungkook and tried to take a big breath as quietly as possible.

"My hyung's party," he answered, but didn't move an inch. "How's your arm?"

"It's better." Jungkook instinctively reached for his forearm. "Thank you for asking." 

"Oh right!!" Kim Taehyung's face lit up as the sudden thought has strict him. "Did you read the book? I hope it was good, I don't have any knowledge of cat's…" He gasped. "Oh no! What if you didn't like it?"

"No, no, no, no, no!" Jungkook waved his hands. "I loved it! It was so good, I've read the whole thing."

Taehyung snorted. "It's just a 'how to' book. You must really love cats."

"Uh, yeah… I adore them." He raised his injured arm. "But they don't reciprocate my feelings."

Just as Taehyung started saying something, a loud melody blasted from his trousers' pocket. As Taehyung was trying to fish out his phone, a familiar voice sang in sync with the melody. Jungkook couldn't put his finger on it, but it was the least important thing on his mind right now.

"Oh it's my hyung," he put the phone to his ear. "Hello. I'm coming." A beat passed. "Um, I don't know. Nooo, don't do this, I'm not a kid." He looked at Jungkook. "John-ssi! How long do you live in Seoul? No hyung, I'm not talking to you."

"Three years? Also please don't call me Jeon-ssi"

"How should I call you then? Do you have a korean name?"

"Yeah obviously."

"What is it?" He turned his attention to the phone, "Shut up hyung I'm having a conversation."

"Jeongguk, or maybe Kook," he muttered the last part. "Everyone calls me differently, one friend even called me Justin." Seeing Taehyung's confused face he reconsidered, "You know what, call me whatever you like. Just forget about -ssi"

"Jeongguk. John-gguk." He smiled again. "Your parents must have a good sense of humour."

He doesn't get it. And why is Taehyung using that weird accent? "They don't."

"Oh, sorry." He smiled apologetically. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you could help me get here," he showed him a message on his phone with the address.

Just as Jungkook was about to answer, he saw the caller's ID and immediately closed his mouth shut.

A name 'Jinnie-hyung' showed on the slightly transparent photo of Seokjin while he still had his hair coloured brown.

"John?"

So many shocks in a short span of time made Jungkook's brain crash and reboot in exactly five seconds.

John . Not Jeon, John.

Jungkook wanted to correct him, he really did. But after remembering Seokjin's photo he just saw? No way in hell he's going to voluntarily expose himself.

He stepped aside so the phone wouldn't catch his voice and answered, "Yeah, I can show you the way."

"Thank you!" He took back his phone. "John will help me, don't worry, hyung." Taehyung furrowed his brows, "I'm not rude and he's not going to rape me." He sighed. Seokjin must've started his parent rant because Taehyung looked extremely bored.

When Jungkook wanted to say something to hurry him up, Taehyung half shouted half said, "No, I don't know where Jimin is, bye!" And quickly ended his call.

Jimin? As in Park Jimin? He really hoped he was mistaken, but just to be sure he's going to play dumb.

"Is this Jimin person lost or something?" Jungkook had asked after motioning for them to start walking.

"Nah," Taehyung waved his hand. "Hyung is just desperately trying to find out who his crush is. I'm covering for him."

"You must really like each other."

"Yes! We're platonic soulmates!" He laughed and Jungkook would've called it an amazing sight if it weren't for the Joker makeup. "I actually walked him here for a movie night his crush is organising."

Yeah it's definitely him. God, what did he get himself into?

The walk was pretty nice. Taehyung was doing most of the talking, which Jungkook was very grateful for. He already embarrassed himself enough after calling his 'cat' Hoseok.

"You just turn around the corner and the building should be right there,” said Jungkook after taking out his phone from his jumper's pocket. The sight of twelve missed calls and several unread messages drained all the colour from his face.

"Thank you so much! Listen, do you maybe want to- Oh God what's wrong with your face?!"

"I'm a dead man, Taehyung-ssi," he said while looking at his phone. Another series of messages flooded his screen, making him cringe. "I need to go, sorry."

"It's fine, but what happened? Are you really going to die?" Jungkook wanted to laugh at how literally Taehyung took his words in. 

"No, I just left without saying anything to my hyung. Don't worry about me." He tried to smile. "I really need to go though," he grimaced.

"I get it, well, it was a nice walk! Thank you for your help once again!"

Jungkook was grateful he was so scared to face Yoongi, that it made it easier to talk with Taehyung like a normal human being. He smiled, this time for real and said, while walking away, "See you soon!"

When he was too far away to hear anything, Taehyung smiled to himself. "He really has a bunny smile."

[ Yoongles & Jungleok ]

19.10

Jungleok

Can't come be there later bye

Yoongles

?

jungkook?

are you okay?

im serious

come on just answer me

one message to ease your hyungs worries

did you leave your phone on silent again

19.38

the moment you step inside our house youll be dead

i promise you

19.50

come on im seriously worried something happened to you

i called you

at least jimins trying to help

i kinda feel bad for destroying the movie night

20.06

Jungleok

HYUNG I'M BACK

IM SO SORRY

PLEASE DONT KILL ME

I'M RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN

Yoongles

As you fucking should.

what the fuck jungkook

are you okay? did something happen to you?

Jungleok

Not quite but that doesn't matter now

I'm 100% fine

I was helping someone

Yoongles

let me guess

that someone was a complete stranger?

Jungleok

It depends on perspective…

Yoongles

ill strangle you

and i think itll be very easy considering jimins on my side

Jungleok

Pfft Jimins a wimp

Yoongles

you would be surprised

[ Sociopath & Comedian ]

19.26

Sociopath

Jungkook where the fuck are you

I know it was supposed to be a horror night

But because of scary films, not your disappearance!

19.41

We're discussing how we'll hide your body

After we kill you ofc

God

Yoongi is really worried you know?

It's awful to witness:(((((

Jungkook pleaseee 

Say something

20.12

Comedian

I hear you Jimin

I'm sorry

I already talked with Yoongi hyung

Also please don't kill me

I'm your best shot at getting close with Yoongi hyung

Sociopath

Fair point

But you make it sound like I only care about him

I was worried too you know

You're a fun guy

Comedian

Woah thanks for the compliment

Sociopath

Yah

I'm serious

Now come back so we can give you a big hug:((

Comedian

On my way

[ King and the peasants ]

21.19

Yoongi: in spite of todays events im gonna remind you all that not only seokjin has admin rights

Yoongi: and after so long, i too will use them however i want to

McKookie: Kneel before the one and only rightful King, Protector of our realm

Yoongi changed his nickname to Lord Yoongi

Lord Yoongi added Park Jimin to the group chat

Park Jimin: Long live the King!!

Lord Yoongi changed Park Jimin 's nickname to Fairy

Jung Hoseok is online

Lord Yoongi changed Jung Hoseok 's nickname to Hobi

Hobi: :0 hyung!! 

Hobi: You've added Jiminie?

Fairy: Hi Hobi!! How's the party?

Hobi: It's fun! Taehyung's telling us about some guy from America

McKookie: Oh lol

McKookie: What did he say

Hobi: Idk he's blabbering as always

Hobi: I only remember the part when the American said his cat's named Hoseok

Hobi: What are the odds lol

Lord Yoongi: i can see some resemblance

Lord Yoongi: You've bitten Jungkook

Fairy: Omg right I forgot about it

McKookie: And it should've stayed this way

Hobi: I got what I deserved so it's fine lol

Fairy: Hoseok are you drunk

Hobi: Only a little

Hobi: I know what's happening if that's what you mean lol

Fairy: Please don't ask Hoseok anything right now

Lord Yoongi: why

Fairy: He's using lol all the time

Fairy: That can only mean one thing

Fairy: He's 4 shots in

Fairy: He'll answer truthfully to anything you ask him

McKookie: Oh?

McKookie: Hoseok-ssi

McKookie: Why do you keep placing me as a cashier

Hobi: Cause you're one of the few sane enough to represent us lol