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It was 15 minutes before 8 o'clock, and Professor Membrane comes home, with no son to see him at the door.
Not like there was any surprise, really. Membrane couldn't exactly remember the last time Dib was ready on time for the annual family outing night. Tonight was off to another predictable start.
Of course, it was his paranormal pursuits that was to blame for that; with each passing year that comes by, it seemed as if Dib was testing his own time, rushing to places farther and farther from the household.
The first time Professor Membrane heard of Dib's last minute vanishing act, Membrane sounded all the alarms. Hoards of search parties, missing kid posters, and missing child alerts were sent out in an instant. When it was discovered that the little Dib wanted to look for some fictional oddity named Mothman, Professor Membrane just laughed off his earlier panic, and being ever so amused by his son's active imagination.
Too bad that the aforementioned imagination had stuck to him since then, but that wasn't the first occurrence of supernatural interest. Admittedly, Professor Membrane wasn't sure when this sort of behavior caught on. He couldn't recall if such an interest ran in the family's DNA; though, then again, monitoring anything family related was never Membrane's forté.
Nonetheless, he figured that, with Dib's persistence and Membrane's inability to keep a close eye on what Dib does with it, Professor Membrane would have to build a device that sped up time to see Dib grow up as the real scientist he was supposed to be. However, since it still had yet to be invented, the only thing to do is wait for the obsessive paranormal to phase out.
And wait he did, lounging on the living room couch, snapping out of his deep thought when light footstep approached down to the first floor. Immediately, his head perks up from the collar of his lab coat.
“Gaz! There you are!”
"Oh. Hey, Dad."
Without looking up from her Game Slave™, she responded fairly quickly, and less agitated sounding. Not her usual tone, but something Professor Membrane would much rather hear than the snarl that replaced Dib's presence within the house.
"Say, is your brother still out and about?"
Gaz turns her head towards her dad. "Oh, actually, Dib came home fairly early, like, barely 20 minutes early. He should be on the rooftop now." A pixelated blip chimes from her gaming device, and she returns her visual focus onto her screen. "He better be…"
"Oh! How could I have missed him?" Professor Membrane leans himself forward in his seat, ready to get up. "Thank you for letting me know, Gaz! I better go fetch him for tonight's outing."
"'Kay," Gaz muttered. "Say, Dib said he didn't care where we went to eat, so can we just go to Bloaty's? It's new pizza day, and he owes me for missing the last one."
Professor Membrane holds a bold stance not long after he stands up from his seat. "I don't see why not! Besides, I got this coupon: buy a side, get none free!"
"Huh..?"
"Hm?"
"..."
Professor Membrane understood what she meant, and he shrugged, "...Well, if we go, it'd give me an excuse to use it, really."
"Ah okay. I just want the pizza, honestly," Gaz monotonically said. "Whatever, just get Dib and let's go."
With Gaz taking her place on the living room couch, Professor Membrane takes his cue to leave. It was a pleasant surprise that no grueling wait for Dib's return had to be executed this year, so he refused to waste a second of his time.
He heads towards the backdoor, passing the kitchen. From the dining room table, he snatches a thin slip of paper tucked away under an old unwashed coffee cup that's been stuck in its place for a while. The slip itself wasn't crinkled or anything, but the grime under the cup did quite a number on its quality. Not as if Membrane notices, for he just tucked it under his thumb in one hand, using the other to pull the back door open. Not even letting the cooler air seep into the rather stuffy kitchen; he shuts the door behind him, entering the porch to look for his son.
"Dib, my boy?" he calls out into the night. "You're out here, aren't you?"
The household was quite tall in stature. Professor Membrane took a few steps back before he could spot the silhouette of his son.
"Oh, AHA!"
"AUGH!" A shrill, all too familiar voice echoed, "HUH?!"
"THERE YOU ARE-"
Membrane struck his pointer finger to Dib's figure illuminating within the pale moonlight, standing out among the evening sky, which somehow didn't seem polluted from where Membrane was standing.
"I am down here! Do you see me?"
"Oh.."
From the angle Professor Membrane was viewing. it's not like he could tell on his own. Dib, however, didn't move an inch. The voice of his father surprised him for a reason; the ground wasn't even in clear view from where he was sitting upon the roof.
Yet, Dib responded, "Yeah, yeah. I see you."
Professor Membrane squints a tad to get the finer details of his son. Turns out, it wasn't the moonlight that reflected onto Dib's skin; it was the blue light emitting from the personal computer he usually kept with him. At the moment, Dib had these clunky headphones on, and was intently focused on whatever was on the screen; he made it quite obvious by the swift and loud clacking of his fingers hitting the keys, with a few clicks of the mouse in between.
Professor Membrane cleared his throat. "Must I remind you again that the annual family night out requires the three of us?"
Dib's breath hitched, quiet enough for it to be kept to himself. His eyes shifted to the bottom right corner of the screen.
7:47 PM
Seeing that instinctively made Dib slump in place. He held back a groan by clenching his jaw, as to not let out such an obvious sign of underlying distaste.
Professor Membrane pushed away the lack of response and decided to speak up again. "Just get down from the roof as soon as possible! I know this truly is quite a stunning night of stargazing, but it can surely wait."
"This isn't stargazing, Dad, I was TRYING to observe extraterrestrial sightings said to be nearby this area, OTHER than Zim, of course. Who knows what other kinds could be out there-"
Dib lifts his wrists up from the computer, and places them against the surface of the roof, leaning more forward into Professor Membrane's direction; Membrane's eyebrows furrowed.
As Dib was speaking, he was tinkering with the cord that connected to his laptop. "-I've been trying to get a hold of it and maybe use the ship in the garage to go…"
He started to trail off, but with a sudden shift in movement, Dib picked his talk back up, although never finishing his first thought.
"H-hold on..Hold on, I think I'm getting something! Th-the transmission!" His tone drops to a mumble. "Come on...come on pick it up.."
Professor Membrane couldn't catch the last part. Something something transmission, whatever alien junk Dib was going on about, Membrane wasn't having it.
Dib sensed that from the get go, because not so long after he was speaking again, this time very quickly.
"And before you say that it's all made up in my head again, this time I have the proof right up here of my sources being from the TruthShr-" And there comes another pause. "...AH..I-It's an..online forum thing or whatever. You wouldn't... AUGH. AW COME ON. "
By carelessly jamming the audio jack on the side of the computer, he accidentally gets it stuck in the wrong hole. Professor Membrane shakes his head as he hears more grumbling from above.
"It's almost 8, my boy," Membrane said, "And-"
Professor Membrane drifted off, assuming Dib was still tinkering with his headphone blunder. He waited for a few seconds, then exhaled, picking his words back up again
"And neither-"
"SH!"
"Neither Gaz and I-"
" SH!!! "
Taking a deep breath, Professor Membrane's voice boomed loud enough for the next door neighbors to hear. " Neither of us would want to leave you out of it! "
"Dad, this is IMPORTANT" Distress peaked within Dib's tone of voice.
Counterbalancing that, Membrane responded back with a more upbeat manner. "Not as important as dinner with the family!"
"NO! It's..!" A huff filled in the pause of Dib's retort. "I need to stay here until I'm able to make a complete log about the transmission. I can't DO that if I can't HEAR what's…Just HOLD ON, okay?!! I don't want to leave yet!"
Shaking his head from such a predicament, Professor Membrane lowers his voice. "You know how inflexible my schedule is, and I cannot stand here, waiting for you over something so trivial-"
"Then..!! Then, I dunno, just go without me this time?"
"Now, why would we want it to come to that, my boy? If you want to use your computer that badly, why don't you just-"
"What?! Low power?! You've GOT to be KIDDING me, I thought I replaced the battery already- "
"...bring it with us to dinner!” Membrane tried to push aside the sounds of frustrated mouse clicks and grunts from his stubborn son.
"There's outlets there, right? Juuuust be sure to keep it away from the tables, floors, ceilings...any flat surface, really, unless you want pizza grease to slather on it and/or make it a fire hazard."
That said, Membrane picked up on a more cheery yet wary tone. "Come on, join us for the night to Bloaty's! It's New Pizza Day, AND I got a coupon! You probably won't even need to use that dinky little computer for long once we're eating."
"What?! No! That's dumb. I can't let ANYTHING happen to this device."
Dib's laptop screen suddenly losing its light source from a depleted battery; the night sky overtook the view. Without that or a light near Dib's bedroom window, Dib was no longer as easy to see in Professor Membrane’s eyes. At the very least, the light footsteps taken on the sturdy roof indicated that Dib was standing up now.
"Besides, you're probably just gonna be talking down on me the whole time in front of everyone IF I even opened the laptop up while with you guys! It's like you're asking me to look stupid in public…"
A smirk crept onto Professor Membrane’s face, though with the lab coat and all, no one could have told if it weren’t for his diction. “ Well , I have to state the fact that the "you looking stupid in public" part is something that you do all on your own. I don't see how much more a laptop can bring to that front," his voice lowered down to a mumble, "- unless you manage to one up the last outburst I remember hearing about -”
“See?! And why would I want to deal with THAT out loud in the open?!!”
"Sometimes, brutal honesty is what someone needs to grasp the truth.’ Professor Membrane put bluntly. Perhaps, his attempt at negotiation was too generous with Dib acting this way.
Meanwhile, a part of Dib felt a familiar pang within him. Usually Dib could take the sensation caused by his own dad by himself and just bite his tongue about it... Usually, but…
“No, it's not necessary, Dad! I-I don't..! You're just being a jerk on purpose!”That was more of an assumption on Dib’s part, but somehow, “accidentally” making him feel humiliated for simply existing didn’t feel as true as Professor Membrane makes it out to be.
With a hand wave, Professor shushed him, his vocals dropping down to an even more condescending infliction, “Son, do you think I enjoy seeing you like this?”
It took a heavy halt of breath before Dib answered, “You know? At this point? Yeah... probably!”
“Yes?”
Unlike Dib, Professor Membrane was treating this as natural back and forth banter. Minus the occasional bouts, his mannerisms didn’t seem affected by his son’s more tense state.
Dib folded his arms together, his hands gripping his upper arms hard as he spoke. “I mean...you’re also laughing along with everybody else -”
“I personally don't find your pitiful ignorance a laughable matter. I'd definitely prefer an breezy experience over than a humiliating one, for your sake.” Professor Membrane clicks his tongue. “On the other hand, however, for someone who doesn't enjoy mockery from others, it’s you who falls into this pit yourself.”
Dib grew rigid; internally, he wanted to bash his head against the wall from his dad’s words, mostly because it placed Dib into a stump. After all, he does end up in tedious conflicts with these pursuits, admittedly; Zim himself was an explanatory story of getting absolutely nowhere despite all Dib has done. And right now, Dib yet again was put into this back and forth shots with his dad on who’s reasonable and who’s delusional.
In the end, Dib never won. And perhaps, something as difficult as being the first person to catch a real life alien was something that could take a while on end even with the most strategic planning, but trying to get his dad to look at Dib with respect?
This was stupid.
It was stupid that this felt more impossible than going after Zim, or Bigfoot, or Mothman, or any other abnormality.
On top of that, his dad just made everything feel impossible. Dib wanted to believe otherwise, but it’s hard when the overwhelming guilt of what’s become between them hangs over his head constantly.
Dib knew that this was how the world saw him: a boy with the chance and potential to reach a field of promising opportunities under his father’s name, yet Dib would rather throw that away for something that’s deterred him over and over and over again.
Professor Membrane said something right, and Dib hated that. He didn’t want him to feel correct over something Dib knew about himself more than anything. That’s always been something Dib’s been battling with, and there was so much of it.
The weight of the realization press against his skull and crack under the pressure. His mind grew bitter and the sensation seep down into his throat.
And what bitterness slid to the tip of his tongue blurted out of Dib’s mouth. “What the hell does that mean?!”
Slightly crossed now, Professor Membrane spoke through a clenched jaw. “Now, don't use foul language against me.”
Though, Dib himself knew very well that the accident didn’t actually come from cursing; he figured that he already knew the answer to his question, anyway. All he wanted Professor Membrane to do was say his piece out loud, to rid of the growing restlessness residing within him.
“What ..does that MEAN.” .
“Well…! It means that you simply.. bring this upon yourself!" Dib uncrossed his arms, and held them against his side instead. His fists was ready to tighten with every word spoken from Membrane. "With how you always go on about this..phony branch of science-
“-and consistently too! All the time!”
Professor Membrane, as if he were talking through a puppet, altered his tone into absolute mockery. " Father , my little green friend is an alien! You have to believe me! Father , Stop letting them send me to the ~crazy~ house! You have to convince them that I'm actually not ~crazy~! For the fifth time in a row! Father , I MUST show proof so society sees that my absolute baloney was somehow FACTS all along. Why is everyone laughing at me? "
As soon as Dib let go of the tension in his fists, he threw his hands up in the hair in exasperation. He could feel the fingernail marks sting ever so slightly on his skin. “And there it is again! Just like that! You keep making fun of everything I stand for -”
“Fine fine, I'll admit that I do add some jest, but it's you who humor the people with your jokes-”
“Oh so it's jokes, now, huh? I 'HUMOR' people, is that it? With my 'jokes?!'”
As if a switch flipped inside of him, Professor Membrane took his turn to pause. He then attempted to brush aside what he put down on the table. “Look, please, I don't want to drag this on. Not on this night, especially. Don’t you just want to go out?”
Dib wanted this to keep going, in spite of him. Screw the transmission. Hearing from aliens was one thing; this built up rage has given him an excuse to inflate his courage, riling him up enough to finally say some things he’s always dreamed of saying to his dad. He was sick of family dinners and downtime; Dib couldn’t even bring himself to speak during most of them. He was sick of being easily silenced by a hand raise. Not like this made Dib feel any better, in fact worse, but it was productive at least.
“You wanna talk about jokes, huh?”
“Son, I request you-”
Dib made himself louder. To him, it almost felt empowering.“You know what I find funny? How..OKAY this all seems to you-”
Professor Membrane let out a scoff. “Nothing about your erratic behavior has been 'okay' to me at all, my boy. Now can you just-”
"No, Dad!" Dib started stepping towards the edge of the roof. From that view, he could actually see Professor Membrane, looking up at him. Meanwhile, Membrane’s arms held out forward a tad, unsure of what Dib was intending to do at this point.
“I-It's..It's th-these comments ! You can't tell me that you don't constantly judge me behind my back AND to my face. You can't pretend that you don't talk about how I disappoint you and embarrass you all the time, because GUESS WHAT? You LITERALLY just made that obvious a few seconds ago! ”
“Don't be like that now. It's been difficult for me to remotely understand you. I think I've been doing a good job for someone in such a challenging position.” Agitation dripped into his father's rebuttal.
Dib spat, “And I'm supposed to THANK you for...this?! For the fact that you think you're doing a good job at being a parent, all because you do these forced annual outings and occasional empty gestures ?” Instead of, you know, actually having my back at times when everyone else turns theirs on me, I-I mean with…”
Admittedly, it was harder to bring out that big speech from fake internal arguments since he’s only practiced it within his head.
“...I REALLY thought I could be happy with it!"
New thoughts replaced his old, and the words were piling up faster than he could form them out loud.
“I thought…”
As Dib was reflecting everything he’s wanted to bring up, something else hit him instead. The first things that Dib was remembering began to take priority in spilling out. He didn’t mean for it to go in that direction; he wanted to be more aggressive and spiteful, but…
“I th-thought that all I needed was that one grand moment of acknowledgement , but everyone and everything is still the same and I-I can't STAND IT-”
“Happy with..what?” Professor Membrane cut Dib off suddenly. Still prickly, but not firm, like his usual self. “What are you even talking about?”
“Th…” Dib was ready to pull his hair out; there was that harsh reminder he failed to recall, about everything Professor Membrane forgot yet Dib remembered. Every single part of it.
“The FLORPUS, DAD-!!!”
Internally imploding out of Professor Membrane’s total ignorance, he let out a rather screechy whimper after practically screaming into the night. One more thing to convince his father of insanity.
“...The what now?”
“THE END OF THE WORLD!” Dib hissed, starting to pace back and forth near the ledge, “Where Zim, THE ALIEN, used your invention and lead us to a portal that would've killed us all, a-and you got thrown on Moo-Ping 10 having that Clembrane thing replace you WHO KEEP IN MIND LIVES WITH US NOW-”
“I apologize but SOMETHING tells me that you're mixing fiction with reality again-” Membrane’s voice was hardening, making an effort to adjust to the gradually more unsound Dib.
“BUT I'M NOT!” Dib’s own voice became hoarse as he stopped in his tracks. “I SWEAR I'm not..I KNOW I'M NOT!” At a standstill, he held his index finger, shaking madly, pointing directly at his dad. “Because I've DWELL on it, you know..the time we actually sided with each other? Fighting for Earth, actually... having each others back to save humanity from DOOM with th-the hand-holding and the MOOSE-”
Professor Membrane didn’t even have to say anything for Dib to catch on how lost he was. Growing impatient with both his dad and himself, Dib lowered his hand, still holding only his pointer finger. He decided to face the side instead of down at Membrane. From there, Dib started picking at the dead skin around his nails, not caring how vigorous his tic was.
“Wh-when you finally said that you ‘were always proud of me’ that ONE time , that maybe, just MAYBE that all those one off outings and gestures could be enough ,” he shook his head quickly as he spoke, his diction becoming more wobbly.
“That maybe the encouraging life-or-death one liner could ACTUALLY make up for the fact that you are, consistently, without a doubt, NEVER there for me!”
Dib's trachea felt like it was going to give out from the things he's been meaning to bring up, and it just kept on piling up. At this point, he'd be talking to himself again. As to not get a snide remark about monologuing, he decided to leave a pause for his dad, hoping he’d take it and use it for something Dib could work with.
And Professor Membrane did take it for a while, actually. Dib was almost sure he might’ve even left midspeech, but that assumption was soon debunked when the pause broke.
“...If this is entirely relates to me not being around enough in person, then you already know of my busy work consisting of real life science. If you would only share the same interests I have, then surely you’d get it.”
Of course his dad might've taken the pause, but to fully grasp what Dib was actually trying to say? For being known as one of the smartest men alive, somehow this couldn’t get through Professor Membrane’s skull.
“Oh my GOD. I don't care about your work!” With all that, Dib let another fuse blow, but realized that stooping down low to a dismissive manner was not the way to go. “Or well..that and..or I just. THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT, OKAY?! WHY CAN'T YOU GET THE POINT!”
He heard his dad make an appalled noise, but nothing else. Dib pretended not to notice, so Membrane wouldn’t have the idea of giving him the spotlight. Having this all happen at once in general..was so difficult; Dib almost wished it was possible to just transfer someone’s thoughts and emotions inside of it, but then the nagging voice of his father reminded him that “wishing wasn’t very scientific, son ”.
At first Dib wanted to get internalize yet another thing Membrane said in the past, until he realized that, in a way, he should be using that piece of so called advice to his advantage. He had to learn the hard way that he couldn’t get what he wanted just by daydreaming about it, after all. In reality, these thoughts flashed through his mind in a blink of an eye. Although, Dib could practically hear a ticking bomb in his nerves, feeling as if they’d explode if he didn’t carry on quick and sharp enough.
“I-I don't CARE that YOU have to work! I KNOW that! Gaz knows that!” Dib choked. “We both know that you're busy, and you're TRYING, and we're perfectly fine with it! We can handle ourselves perfectly fine!”
Dib winced in pain, cutting himself off from his words. He forgot he was still picking at deep past his hangnails, to the point of letting his index finger bleed slightly raw. Every part of him was slowly starting to ache; his chest was on fire, and it was spreading to the rest of his body.
Professor Membrane noticed that Dib was slightly grabbing himself in anguish. He badly wanted to question about it, but Dib was going to push through it. As the stubborn boy he was, he cursed at himself, for even acknowledging, as Dib would consider it, his barely wounded self.
“Let's face it, all I am i-is just...a JOKE you! It doesn't matter whether you're laughing o-or cringing at me, or just shaking your head, because it all still hurts, knowing that not ONCE will you ever take me seriously , EVER.”
Facing to the front again, Dib stared down at Membrane, wanting the both of them to forget about that brief moment of him mildly seething in pain. However, for Membrane, it was tough to ignore. Even if there was no mind to the the bleeding, Dib’s whole arms were quaking madly, as if he were conducting his words in vexation.
“And you can't expect me to just snap my fingers and forget EVERYTHING ELSE you've done, all for THAT ONE OTHER SINGULAR MOMENT; where even then, it happened seconds away from you being taken for what could’ve been til forever. But since THAT’S gone and past like nothing even happened, all I have left is this feeling OF-”
Dib almost went into flight mode. His eyes welled up, blurring his vision into blotches of black and blue. Unable to face towards Professor Membrane, he immediately backed far off away from the ledge and started to pace again. As he was doing so, his head was turned slightly up towards the night sky, hoping that it’d help the tears go back into his eye sockets.
“A-And the worst part is? That doesn't even matter to you! You STILL thought everything was just some...FAKE DREAM.” A crack uttered from his mouth as he said that, and was starting to permeate. “You still don't BELIEVE in me . ”
“You REFUSE to even think ABOUT and LOOK at ANYTHING with an open mind and...It's just.. ALL YOU DO. I-It's all..YOU”
His head leaned back a little more, yet he could feel his cheeks, chilly from the night, come in contact with warm, overwhelming tears. Professor Membrane was unable to see him at this point, so he decided to back away until he could at least get a glimpse of his son, even if it was just more than a speck. Membrane put his finger up, wanting to protest, but his mind felt blank. This time, it wasn’t easy to input something witty to dismiss the situation. In fact, for most of this time, Professor Membrane was starting to feel stuck. There was nothing he could say at the moment, but Dib was not done anyway, for better or for worse.
In fact, it was Dib’s turn to mock his own dad, even in the state of mind he was in right now.
“I-It's all just ‘Not right now, boy! This sliced piece of bread is WAY too important for the actual groundbreaking discovery! I'm sure this is JUST a phase!’”
His attempted mocking voice was in no way comical; it sounded lower and full of resentment, with croaks in between. Professor Membrane himself went timorous, being fully aware that this was supposed to be Dib's impersonation of him.
"’Oh, you got sent to the crazy house? I think it's about time you did! Maybe if you get a life long sentence, you can reevaluate on your obsessions.’
“‘Like, seriously Dib! What's the matter with you? Where did I go wrong ?’ Why do I even call you my son?!
“How did it end up like this? How did I let myself WASTE 12 YEARS OF MY LIFE on y-"
There were too many voice cracks to count within that short span of time. In the end, every part of Dib shattered, and he could no longer keep his indignation going. Not caring if his freezing hands reeked of dried blood, he used his pointer finger to wipe under his glasses and down to his chin. His face felt flushed and sticky. As he was staring down at his hands, his eyes traced back to his dead laptop, still open despite it being currently unusable. He put his hand down and stared at the black mirror in front of him, looking at the solemn reflection looking back ever so blankly.
“...You.” The one word barely made itself audible, passing between trembling lips. It escaped along with another heavy breath.
Dib watched himself stare dead into the screen. Those were the only pair of eyes he could face with right now; he couldn’t imagine what his father looked like at the moment, or how he could possibly react. Maybe, it was too cruel of him to expect the most dismissive response, but at the same time, it wasn’t out of place for Membrane to do that. The reply was processing for a while though. Normally, it wouldn't takes this long for information to sink in. Membrane was known to react swift, after all; having nothing but unsuspected dead silence agonized Dib.
Eventually, he did say something, though. “...Son, I..
“It..it seems as if you made a couple of errors on the last parts of your observation, because..”
It was hushed and unlike Professor Membrane, but it was something. Dib breathed unsteadily; he was aware that he made a mistake on that part. It was only a matter of time until Membrane commented on it.
“Because..” Professor Membrane picked his mitigation back up, but this time, he barely had a wisp of composure. ”...I-I know not once have I stated that, in those..12 years of my life, nor would I even have a mind to come up with saying such a thing.”
“Yeah. I..I knew..”
Professor Membrane was close to giving a sigh of relief from Dib’s interjection.
“You never had to say it, 'cause I already knew.”
It didn’t matter to Dib if Professor Membrane muttered under his breath or was still in silence. Either way, Dib stood with what he said. In a better world, he could be second guessing himself, wondering if this was all fair for him to do; it wasn’t, though. The thought of that added some sort of minuscule but twisted rush, that filled in the hollowness where his ire once stood.
It made him prepared for the worst. He was ready for another witty comment, or a tease against his vulnerable outburst that went in all sorts of wrong directions. A lecture, a rant, a smack on the wrist; anything to prove Dib's point from the start and make himself feel even more justified.
Anything that would make Dib right and nothing else.
What Dib wasn't ready for the sound of Membrane’s one single, brittle exhale. It wasn't like those typical harsh sighs directed at Dib to signify his utter disappointment; if anything, it completely lost its aim against Dib's pride, whether it even meant to hit there or not. Each other breath that was slightly audible gave Dib a sense of anticipation, waiting for the next words to come. Even when there were slow heavy footsteps dragging itself itself back to the house, Dib remained standing, still holding onto that chance that Professor Membrane was still out to get him soon enough.
There were blips of muffled speech, from what Dib could hear. Not too long after, Gaz’s loud cursing in vain was audible enough to stiffen his shoulders, but not much as to hear any pronounced words. In an instant, the outburst was cut off, and it was back to a hush. With nothing to base off of, Dib started to draw conclusions. Gaz sounding awfully, yet rightfully pissed after all; he could imagine her storming up to the roof at any moment, doing all the insulting for their dad; she could be giving Membrane ideas on what exactly he should do with Dib. Maybe in the end, Dib would be dragged along to the outing as punishment for being the stubborn jackass he’s always been, right after his two family members stopped bad mouthing him, of course.
It felt like an eternity for the murmuring to suddenly die down to nothingness. It wasn’t clear whether the talking actually ceased, or if the two decided to become deathly quiet. With both options up in there air, there still wasn’t anything Dib could piece together from whatever the two were handling things. Letting his mind drift off, his body released its tension, deciding to lie down. He let the surface of the roof cool his as he placed his whole self on it. Dib was unsure if this lack of closure was supposed to be a victory for him or not. Perhaps, this was something for him to decide on.
The only thing he could do was rely on his own piece of mind, after all. That’s how its been for so long anyway, and maybe Dib should’ve just accepted that.
Maybe, no one having his back is a good thing, because at least it’d mean that no one would be there to drag him back to the path he wanted to head towards. He didn’t need his dad, not really. Even though Membrane detested these interests in the paranormal, he never made an effort to put a halt to it himself, possibly due to bigger responsibilities or simply a lack of ideas on how to. Dib figured that if Membrane did actually put all his energy into making sure Dib didn’t live the life he had now, he would’ve been completely forbidden from any sort of paranormal studies.
Though if he were to be forcibly lead into the scientific path like his father, would he have been happier, without any open path towards the paranormal? At first, the thought of that made Dib’s face scrunch up. Any genius would pursue their desires, despite what skeptics say, obviously. In no way would a genius want a dull life, miserable of his place in society as a despite the opportunity of making his father proud.
But look at where you are, genius, if that's what you really are. No one's stopping you from doing what you want, yet you’re still miserable.
The twist in Dib's face left and resorted to his stomach. He immediately attempted to break away from any other thoughts, in case they started to become more self deprecating, avoiding the fact that his own inner voice was all he had at this moment.
With nothing else his auditory sense could tune in on, Dib turned his head to its side, letting the one ear chill on the roof surface. He didn't realize how close he was to his laptop until the bristles of his hair brushed slightly against it. Seeing no point as to why he still had it out at this point, he shut the device closed, headphones attached, and placed it on his torso, holding it tightly. Any moment now, he knew that he should just get up and put it back inside, with his bedroom window being nearby and everything. Although, he couldn’t bring himself to execute it immediately; the urge to just hold onto it for a little longer was too great, whether from being too anxious to insert his presence in the house so soon, or simply being too indolent from exhaustion. The night view from above, with its dark beyond and specks of light, gazed at Dib’s weary soul. He was staring off into space, having himself internally meander. He could only dream of fast forwarding over the long years of yearning for the better.
At least, until a rapping on his bedroom window jolted Dib’s consciousness, snapping him back to reality; from the inside, the muted sounds of shuffling through the glass. Instinctively, he sits up, his attention heightened once more. Even though there was a clear presence, judging by familiar whispers, none of them seemed to have the intention of calling Dib over. There was a deafened quick exchange followed an awkward cough. Two more knocks came about; silence that followed it. Curiosity yet to be satisfied, Dib inched closer to the window, his laptop now tucked under one arm as to let the other press against the glass surface. It didn’t even take a squint to recognize who was standing inside his bedroom.
“Dad?”
Professor Membrane was on the other side of the window, facing his open bedroom door rather than the outside. He leaned against the wall with his chin in hand until his son’s voice startled him. Despite his body language saying so, he held back a vocal response.
“Dad,” Dib said sharply, “I know you're there. I can see you.”
Dib noticed Professor Membrane’s shoulders drop hearing him. A pause lodged itself in before he finally spoke clear enough for Dib to hear from the outside. "Ah..In that case I..give me a moment, actually, will you?"
He was back to his usual enunciation, but something else about his tone seemed to still struggle from his norm.
"Why are you here?"
"Well I..I did come to, uh, see you." Professor Membrane clasped his hands together, slowly turning towards the window, hanging his head low, "As in..to speak to you."
Dib glared at him. "So you finally wanted to talk to me up close, face to face?"
"As close as I'm allowed."
"Right." Not willing to go back inside the house, Dib stayed put near the window. He placed his laptop and headphones out of his dad's view. "Alright. Fine. Just say it already."
Professor Membrane was willing to take that. ""My boy," he started, his head leaned against the wall, "I truly do regret having to take a while to reach out to you about this. I needed the time to reflect on our conversation..for a good while. I wanted to be ready for this talk.
"To be honest, I'm..still not as ready as I'd like to be, but I'd rather not look away from this predicament for too long, trying to perfect it. Besides, the main idea is what matters most here, and it's to let you know that I.."
He let a huff escape him, and when he picked his words backed up, they emerged with a great amount of infirmity. "I'm sorry."
Dib was holding onto his guard tightly, unsure on how to ready himself, but his glare dropped in an instant by pure bewilderment.
"We're both aware of how much our differences lie, and how much we can't agree on so many terms. Our pursuits shine within the both of us. It is worn on our sleeve, but seeing yours, I admit it..it frightens me. If you grew up attempting to follow my footsteps, I would have at least known how to guide you into that direction.
"Paranormal studies, however, is very unpredictable and..I guess you can say.. alien, to me," Professor Membrane exhales sharply through his nose. "That's why, when I look at you, I'm..scared.
"I have no idea how I can aid you in your pursuits. I have no idea where to start, trying to wrap my head around it. At this point, I'd even refuse to, because I can't be the one to tell you what to do with that field of interest. I say it's wrong because..I just don't know what's right from it. I just..have to admit my total ignorance to and against it. I refuse to believe that I don't want to believe, and that's the reality I have to face.
"But.. There will never be an excuse for how my thought process impacted your life.. your well-being. I'm not going to pretend that I didn't know better. I'm not going to pretend that I wasn't..trying so desperately hard to discourage you at..all times..so many times, actually, and that's nothing to be proud of, to the point where I've lost count myself. I'm sure you haven't though. I'm sure, you remember so many things I've said and done to you..."
Professor Membrane took one hand and placed it over his forehead, sliding down to his goggles. Doing so, he takes another breath.
"Th-the funny thing is that..I knew there were moments that stood out among the rest. I knew that I've done more harm than good at this point in..general, but having to admit that out loud would be submitting to failure over something I had to learn was wrong, even when I was so sure that I was right, at the time.
"I became foolish enough to think that I could get away it...With never having to own up to you, hoping you wouldn't look back, like I have. Whether this be months to years ago or so very recent...I was foolish for forgetting that you're so much smarter than to fall for those tricks."
His hand slide down to where his collarbone would be, watching his chest rise and fall.
"You genuinely are so much to behold, you know that? If I say that I am proud of you, it's because you are the world to me, and trust me, my son, that is something so difficult to achieve...and you do it flawlessly, so effortlessly. Just by existing, you have accomplished being my everything, alongside Gaz. Yet here I am, failing to make you feel that way, and that's not something I can take back for good, nor is there something I can do to make the pain from that nonexistent."
Lifting his hands up, he pressed the against the glass window, finally facing it full front. Dib's face was not visible, but his leaned in posture against the window suggested that he was listening intently.
"And if I bring all of this up, yet do nothing about it, I would doom myself to failure even more. That's why I am speaking with intent; from now on I've assigned myself a lifelong task to assure that you wake up knowing that you're not wasting a second of my life, because you never have, and you never will. This isn't something I can just say once, too. This is something I must be consistent with..to work towards and build up to. It's not something you have to earn and I refuse to make it seem like it has to be that way; it is something you've needed, right from the very start, because you've deserved it from ever since birthright."
Lowering his head a tad, it was Dib's turn to press his hand against the window pane, one of the anyway, aligning with Professor Membrane's one's own. Membrane's voice dialed down to a simmer.
"I am so sorry, my son... I'm sorry for every awful thing I've done to you, and I'm sorry that it took this long for me to say that afterwards."
Dib's whole face was now visible through the window, carrying a much softer look. Though, as he lifted his other hand to place it next to the one on the glass window, there was a reek of uncertainty within his movement. For a moment, the two remained still, and short period of silence created more weight on Professor Membrane's shoulders.
Then, with such sudden movement, Dib released his palms from the glass, and instead used his two hands to lift up the bottom rail. A breath of nightly wind swept onto Professor Membrane's face. While both parties let go of the window for good, Dib remained having his hands, now shuddering, reach outward to his dad.
"Dad...I.."
Dib's blinked a couple times, examining his inner thoughts. Next, he briskly grabbed his laptop, headphones and all, from his side, holding it up a tad. As Dib spoke again, he failed to make eye contact with his misty eyes.
"I-I should...probably put this back.."
Professor Membrane held his hands to accept the device. "Here, I can do that for you."
"Oh.." Dib let him take it. "Yeah just..put it on my desk."
And so he did. It wasn't in the exact place Dib kept it, but with the usual area cluttered, Membrane decided it was better off on a clearer part of the desk surface.
"And..Dad?" Dib uttered.
"Hm?" Professor Membrane's head perked up, stepping towards the window again. He noticed that Dib still had his hands out, the back of them facing down.
"C-can you..Can you come closer?"
And so he did. Although, barely three steps into Dib's request, Professor Membrane was caught in a dead stop by his own son. Along those few steps, Dib had his arms outstretched little by little. With Membrane centimeters in reach, Dib was able to take the sides of his father's head and pull it into what little yet strong embrace Dib could offer; this was in contrast to the taller adult figure, immensely caught by surprise by the gesture, feeling almost weak within his son's arms, that gently placed on Membrane's burly shoulders.
A number of convulsive gasps took in place before Dib could say anything. "I'm..I'm sorry... for ruining everything-"
Professor Membrane spoke softly, slightly lifting his face up from under Dib's neck. "What? No, no, you didn't ruin anything-"
"Well, I ruined family night, and I know how much that meant for you and Gaz-"
"Ah, don't worry about that! Seriously, I was able to talk things out with her and, trust me, she's been very understanding, at least from what's been discussed between us two."
"What..what did she tell you?" Dib asked, his grip loosening.
Membrane chuckled, "Besides reminding me that Bloaty's delivered, as well as the telephone number for it...She told me to tell you that what you did took a lot of guts, and that she considers herself proud of you too."
"Huh.." Dib said with a sniffle. He released Professor Membrane from the hug, now using his free arms to wipe his nose on his sleeve. "Here, I thought otherwise.."
"Well, you were incorrect there! Gaz surely knows th-"
"Oh, nah. Not about Gaz, I knew she'd say something like that, even if it's not directly to me." Dib weakly laughed. "I was talking about Bloaty's. I totally forgot they've delivered ever since we've had Foodio 3000."
"Oh!" Professor Membrane's eyes gleamed under his goggles. "So did I, to be frank. I don't blame you on that part whatsoever. Tonight, we spend our quality time within the comforts of our home!"
"Not bad.. Not bad at all." The corners of Dib's lips curled up a tad. "What about the coupon, though?"
"Meh, it was for dine in only-"
"Aw, man-"
"PFT." Professor Membrane flicked his hand. "Nevermind the coupon. It's the least of my concern."
Abrupting the moment, the doorbell rang, having Professor Membrane bounce on the heels of his feet. Gaz could be heard immediately opening the front door.
"Ah! Speak of the pig!" He was beginning to back away slowly, holding a finger up. "You're free to stay inside downstairs whenever once I've settled things. Don't eat too late, though!"
Dib shrugged timidly. "Actually, I think I'll just bring my food out here."
"In that case, I'll bring up a slice for you once I've got things settled!" Professor Membrane started heading out of Dib's bedroom.
"Wait, sorry, uh..Dad?"
Professor Membrane stopped in his tracks again. "Yes?"
"I uh.." Shifting his knees in place, Dib had his two pointer fingers touch. "I don't know what you plan on doing downstairs while you're eating, but if you want I…" He weakly smiled with his front teeth showing. "You did say that it was a nice night to stargaze and.. I wouldn't mind having company here, and Gaz can come too if she doesn't mind."
By the tone of Membrane's voice, Dib knew that a smile was returned to him.
"That'd certainly be lovely, son." With that exchange, Membrane left the bedroom, walking with ease.
It was 15 minutes before 10 o'clock, and Professor Membrane comes back, with his son waiting to see him on the roof.