Work Text:
Dear random soldier
My mom told me that I should write to you, she says you're fighting for our country so I should stop being a little brat and actually do something. I guess that makes sense. My dad’s there too Yknow? If this reaches him I'd be happy. What am I supposed to ask? How's the war? Are you alright? How old are you? I wanted to join, but I'm only seventeen and so I wasn't allowed, maybe I'll join when I come of age, we can like see each other. Attached is a picture of the stars, I took it on my way home from my night class. I don't know if that'll do anything but I tried. I also added a jar of jam, enjoy it I worked damn hard on it.
Signed
Jeongin
Dear Jeongin
Thank you so much for the letter, even though you seemed less than enthusiastic about writing it, I would too so no hard feelings I promise. If you give me your dads name I could find him for you, but there's thousands of us, so I'm sorry if I can't. War is... alright I guess, when I said I wanted to spend quality time with my friends this summer I didn't mean like this. I'm alright personally, haven't been into a huge battle yet, but some of my friends aren't, and I'm kind of scared, but they'll be fine, I hope. Changbin can be a huge baby sometimes. I'm 19, young to be in war my mom used to say, But I wanted to do this. Thank you for the picture of the stars, we don't see them much here as the sky's always full of smoke. I hope you don't mind but I didn't get to try the jam, I gave it to my friend Minho, he hasn't eaten in a while, and I promised his fiancé I'd keep him safe. I would've anyways, he has someone to go back to, unlike some of us, I don't know why I'm telling you this, sorry.
Your soldier
Chan
Dear Chan
I'm sorry now that I didn't seem happy to write you the letter, now I get what you are doing for us and I wish I could take it back. My dad’s name is Yang___ (sorry guys idk his name) if you can find him please tell him mom and I are doing okay, minus the soldiers raiding our house for food every few days, mom says she's lucky we have a secret stash, and I know it's for a good cause so it's ok. I hope your friends and you are ok, where are you from, Chan? I live in Seoul and attached, once again is a picture of the stars, a bit of the city is there too, I hope you like it. Just so you know, I can be your person to go back to okay? You have me now. I attached two jars of jam this time, strawberry and plum, that way you can have one and give Minho one too.
Signed
Jeongin, your person to come home to
Dear Jeongin,
My friends are calling you my boyfriend, just so you know, every week when I write to you someone comes in and goes "aw Chris writing to your boyfriend again?" It's kind of stupid, but that's how guys are aren't they? Don't feel bad by the way, I understand where you were coming from. I live in Seoul as well, I have a little apartment, the rents been paid in advance so I can come back to it when/if I get back. If I die you can have it, since you're so eager to be "my person", we've only been talking for a while, already catching feelings for me? ;) I found your dad, he's working with some of my mates in the camp a ways away, he's fine and I gave him your message, speaking of which Minho asked me if you could send the letter attached to his fiancé, Han Jisung, at 9 STAY lane in Seoul, he can't send it himself, as our Sargent says it's too far away, it wouldn't make it. I attached a photo of me Changbin and Minho today, in thanks of sending all the jam, it means a lot.
Signed your soldier,
Chan
Dear Chan,
My friends are like that too, I can't even hang out with a boy without them thinking I'm secretly dating them, it's ridiculous. I found Han Jisung, I don't know what the letter said but when he read it he burst into tears, I didn't think they were sad tears. We are grabbing lunch next week, he's a pretty cool dude. Thank you for finding my dad, mom cried when she found out he was okay, we were so worried. Of course, I'm not catching feelings for you, you big dummy, I have exceedingly high expectations. Thank you for the photo, like you're all hot wtf, Jisung told me who was who and damn I didn't know you were blonde, or buff, or like my ideal type. This means nothing though, don't get your hopes up. We are running out of food here, but I know it's not nearly as bad as it is there, so I won't complain, especially when you're doing this for our country. Fought in any big battles lately? The war should be over soon, mom says, it's been a year already, sorry I didn't send you a letter at the start. I hope I can see you when it's over. There's three jars of jam for you guys attached this time, no pics sorry, I haven't had time lately. Jisung said Minho’s favourite is strawberry, and Changbin's is blueberry, I hope you like plum, cuz that's all I have left.
Signed
Jeongin, waiting for you.
Dear Innie
It's alright if I call you Innie right? Meh I don't really care I'm calling you that now. I wish I could see you and what you are like in person, I bet you're adorable. Thanks for the compliments, I know I'm hot don't worry, and are you sure that means nothing? ;). These winks are getting cringey, sorry. I'm really sorry Innie, I'm not sure if you've gotten the message yet but your dad passed away in battle yesterday, they say he died bravely if that helps. Minho's not sick anymore but my friend Woojin is, I don't know if he'll make it, the rats only spread the disease. I'm fighting in my first real battle tomorrow, a surprise attack against I'm not even sure who anymore. I hope we do well. I promise I'll come back to see you, and don't worry about the pics, I'm alright. The jam is really great, plum is actually my favourite, thank you. I'll tell you what happens when the battle is over.
Signed
The hot blonde buff and totally your type soldier
Chan.
Dear My totally not my type and I'm now wishing I could take back my compliments soldier, Chan.
It is alright if you call me Innie, thanks for asking permission asshole. I didn't know about my dad, thank you for telling me, I wasn't sure if anyone would of you hadn't. Mom cried when I told her, I cried more than I would admit, but I'm glad I still have her, and you. Don't forget to come home to me. Good luck in battle tomorrow, I kissed this letter before I sent it, I know it's cringey but I just thought it would make it more meaningful. I've sent four jars today, one for each of your friends and you, Woojin included, there is some medicine inside the Jam for him, I didn't know what he had so I put some cold and flu and some stomach bug stuff and Advil in there, don't tell him, just don't let him eat it all at once or he'll get high on it. Just kidding!
Signed
Jeongin, totally your type too even though you haven't said it
Dear Chan.
It's been a few days, still waiting for that letter about the battle. The news about how it went hasn't come yet but I know it'll be cool. You probably fought hard and I'm proud of you! Attached is a picture of the stars, I'm in there too, so you can finally see my face, I know you wanted to. ;) you're right, the winks are cringey. I packed more jam. Some biscuits in there too. The one with the pink lid is for Woojin, don't eat it unless you want to get high on medicine.
Signed
Jeongin, who's still waiting.
Dear Chan
We got the news about the battle yesterday, Korea lost with thousands of casualties. Jisung is scared Minho was one of them, since he hasn't sent any letters through you. In fact, you haven't sent any full stop. I hope you're okay. Don't forget you promised me you'd come back.
Signed
Innie, your Innie.
Dear Chan
Please it's been a month, the bells to signify the end of the war will ring tomorrow, I hope you'll be coming home with the rest of the soldiers. Jisung stayed over last night, he cried a lot, along with a boy called Felix, who claims to be besties with Changbin but he blushed every time he was mentioned, and went on a way to long rant about his muscles. I cried too, so you know, I do care. More than I should really considering we haven't even met in person. I'm sorry I don't have any jam to give you today. Please come back to me Channie.
Signed
Jeongin, I'll wait forever.
Dear my soldier
Jisung burst into my room today with the greatest news he could have. Minho sent him a letter, apparently Changbin sent Felix one too, they're coming home with the rest of the soldiers today. I don't think I'll go to the parade, don't reckon I could bear watching them walk down the street without you. The war is over Channie, I'm not sure where these letters are even going anymore. Maybe you'll see them up in heaven where I'm scared you are. I love you Chan, as a friend for now, but I wish it could be more one day, maybe we'll find each other in the afterlife.
Signed your Innie forever.
"Jeongin are you coming??" Jisung burst into my room once again, clad in his best clothes and holding a bouquet of roses. He frowned when he saw me sitting at my desk writing. "You aren't even dressed? Lix is waiting downstairs."
"I'm not coming." I responded quietly, my expression stone cold. "I'm so happy for you Sung, that you can be with Minho again, but I can't be there to watch Chan not come back."
A silence overtook the room, before Jisung wrapped his arms around me, he was shorter than me and it was funny as he tried to wrap his arms around my shoulders.
"You don't know he's dead." Is all he said, before he smiled sadly at me and left.
He didn't seem like he believed his own words.
I stood up and pressed a kiss to the envelope I was writing, placing it in my bag to send to the post office later, right now I could feel my eyelids getting droopy.
If with sleep or tears I didn't know.
I laid down on my bed and rolled over, now letting out small sobs into my blanket.
I wished he were here.
My soldier.
My mind flooded with thoughts of him as I drifted into sleep, where we would finally meet in my dreams.
———
"Innie."
My eyes shot open at the nickname, which only one person had ever called me.
I say up straight in bed, smile gracing my features as I looked into the eyes of-
Jisung.
"Woah Innie, you alright?" He laughed. "Seem like you had a really good dream."
It was a good dream.
A dream.
"Yeah." I murmured weakly, my gaze falling onto the handsome boy whose arm was wrapped around my friend's waist. "Who's that?"
"Oh right! Jeongin, meet Minho, my fiancé."
Minho smiled at me, but I couldn't even bring myself to smile back.
How could the world have spared him but not Chan.
No, I'm happy for Jisung, I brushed away my selfish thoughts as a smile plastered itself onto my face.
"I have something for you." Minho pulled something out of his pocket, a price of paper, and held it out. "Sungie and I will leave you alone, you'll want to be."
Minho wasn't smiling anymore, in fact, I was sure I saw a tear begin to form in his eye, but as he turned and dragged Jisung from the room, it disappeared.
I looked down at the letter in my hands, turning it over as I took a deep breath.
I recognised the writing on the front.
Chan.
I smiled as I ripped it open, and began to read.
Dear my precious Innie,
The battle went terribly, we lost thousands, I'm sorry, I tried to fight for you but they were just so strong. I'm writing to you in the hospital Innie, brain injury, broken ribs and my leg feels numb. Apparently, I've got some internal damage too. I wanted to apologise to you, I don't think I will be able to keep my promise. The doctors say I have an hour at most. I hope I'll finish this letter first. Thank you so much for the Jam, I'll be well fed when I pass. Woojin would've appreciated the effort, but he died about an hour ago, clutching my hand. It was the worst thing I've ever felt, loosing someone I care about. I'm so sorry I have to put you through that. I kissed this letter to Innie. It's not cringey, it shows how much I love you. We will meet again, I promise. I'm making Minho give you this, if I can't make it to the post office. Don't forget, you can have my apartment, it is prepaid for a few more months. If you want you can take my dog too, Berry has been being fed by Mrs Kim, my grumpy old neighbour the past year. Berry hates her.
Signed for the last time
Your very sorry soldier
Chan
I fell to the floor, my knees simply giving out, as silent sobs fell from my lips.
That was it,
My soldier, was gone.