Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Yo Dinnerbell! Getta move on! We can’t wait all night for ya!”

Phineas laughed, grabbing his keys and wallet from the kitchen counter, readjusting the phone at his ear. “Geez Bufe; will you let us get out the door first?” He stepped out the back kitchen door, motioning for his brother to follow him as he headed toward the front yard. “We’ll be there in five minutes, I swear…”

He stopped dead, smirking at the black F-150 truck parked in the driveway, watching as the driver side window rolled down and Buford smirked back at him. “You couldn’t tell us you were parked in our driveway?”

“Nah man; that would have been way to easy.” Django smirked as he hopped out of the backseat.

The red head grinned, bro-hugging his friend before climbing inside, Ferb following behind him. “Hey Baljeet; ready for tonight?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Eh, he’s all bent outta shape because of where we’re goin tonight.”

“Where are we going?”

“Dude, ya really have been outta it this past week.”

“Hey, it’s not his fault man,” Django piped up. “Phin wasn’t there when we were discussing it earlier this week.”

“Yeah. He’s been to busy blushin around Bella.”

“Speaking of Isabella…” Baljeet craned his neck around, looking into the backseat. He smirked at the red head.

“Please leave him alone,” Ferb spoke up. “He’s been through enough this past week.”

“It wasn’t…” the red head scratched the back of his neck. “That bad…”

“I heard she schooled ya in the Ultimate Batting Challenge.” Buford glanced at him in the rearview mirror, backing the truck out of the driveway. “Why didn’t ya tell us ya brought it back?”

He shrugged.

“Yeah man; why didn’t you tell us you brought back the batting challenge?” Django asked. “We would have joined you; it could have been a fun afternoon.”

“It’s complicated.”

“What is so complicated about it?” Baljeet pressed.

“Look, it was between me and Izzy alright? I had to work through something that happened on our last friend date.” He turned his baseball cap around to the front, pulling it over his eyes.

“And did it get resolved?”

He pushed the brim of his cap up with a thumb. “Kinda. Like I said, it’s complicated.” He forced a smile. “Anyway, we decided to take a break from Friend Dates this week.”

“Good thing.” Django started to say something else, only to shut his mouth as Ferb shot him a glare.

“To answer your previous question Phineas, Buford has somehow managed to get us into a bar.” Baljeet glared at his boyfriend as the teen steered the truck onto the freeway. “I have warned him that it is a bad idea and we may get caught, but nooo…he never listens to me.”

“In all fairness, does he ever listen to you?” Django asked.

The smallest of smiles crossed Baljeet’s face. “Not really. I do not know why I expect him to change.”

“Pitfalls of dating,” Ferb spoke up. “But worth it.”

“Hey man, I’m just glad I’ll finally have a partner on the pool table.” Django smirked at the red head. “It’s no fun getting schooled by Buford and Ferb week after week.”

“I don’t know Buddy; you might want to give me your wallet right now, because I will school you on the tables.”

“Bring it on man. I’m not afraid.”

“You should be.”

“Oh yes. Remember the last time Phineas played you in pool?” Baljeet spoke up.

Django groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

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“Whooaa…” Phineas whistled as he looked around the bar.

“Two stories?” Django grinned. “Man, we’re gonna have fun in this place.”

“I know right?”

“He has outdone himself,” Ferb commented.

“Yes. Now if we do not get caught…” Baljeet looked around nervously. “I still do not know about this…”

“Aw come on Buddy; lighten up.” The red head slung an arm around the teen’s shoulders. “Bufe has us in good.”

“You do realize this is my boyfriend we are talking about right? The one who is more brawns than brains?”

“Speaking of Buford, where is he anyway?” Django asked.

“I suppose he may be—“

“Alright, pick a card.”

The others groaned as Buford walked up, fanning out four cards in his hand.

“Enough with giving out random cards man.”

“They ain’t random. Go ahead; pick one.”

Django eyed the cards suspiciously, sliding one out and looking at it. “Oscar?”

“Aw come on!” Buford did a facepalm. “Ya don’t recognize a fake ID when ya see one?”

“Sure I do. But…Oscar? Come on man; you gotta be kidding.” He studied the card. “Why is the license photo a picture of a brown fish with an afro?”

“Hey, I don’t make the IDs alright? I just get ‘em from someone else.”

“Who is...?” Baljeet asked.

He merely smirked. “I have my resources. Come on Jeet; pick a card.”

Baljeet tentatively reached a hand out, taking a card. “Apparently I am Fletcher Quimby.” He grinned. “Cool! I am good at art!”

“Let me see that.” Django swiped the card from his friend, studying it. “Wanna trade Jeet?”

“Umm…”

“Looks like Oscar’s nerdy and good at videogames.”

“Well…” the teenager shrugged. “Alright. It is all in fun.”

“Awesome.”

“Looks like it’s your turn Dinnerbell.”

Phineas took a card, grinning as he turned it over. “Dipper Pines. Cool. He wears a hat similar to mine.” The red head grinned, slipping the card into the back pocket of his jeans.

“And for you Ferb?” Buford took the remaining card, handing it to the teenager.

Ferb held the ID up, studying it before showing it to his brother.

“Troy Bolton. Cool.” Phineas glanced around the bar. “So what should we do firs—“

“Ladies and Gentlemen, if I could please have your attention.” A man stood on a makeshift stage at the back of the bar. “We are about to host our weekly karaoke night, so—“

The red head grinned. “Guys…?”

Buford shot the teen a glare, only to shrug. “Yeah alright. But I got drums.”

“Yeah man, I’m in. Sounds like fun,” Django answered.

“Bro?” Phineas looked at his brother, who gave him a thumbs up. “Great! Baljeet?”

The teen hesitated a moment before shrugging. “Why not? It is Friday Night Hangout.”

“Awesome.” The red head grinned before motioning the others to follow him. “So, does anyone have an idea of what we should sing?”

“I don’t know man; what sounds good?”

“Or better, what’s singable?” Buford asked.

“I believe that is not a word,” Ferb pointed out.

“Well then, let’s see what we got.” Phineas jogged up the two steps to the stage, turning his hat around backwards before snatching the karaoke book from a barstool and flipping through it.

“What about that one?” Baljeet asked, peering over his shoulder.

“Uh-uh. Ain’t no way I’m singin that one,” Buford piped up.

“How about that one?” Django pointed to a different song.

Ferb made a face.

“Well, since we can’t seem to agree on what we should sing, I vote we do this.” The red head covered his eyes, running a finger down the songbook page. “Anndd…this one.” His finger stopped over a song. “Does that work?”

“Whatever man. I’m good.”

“I am sure it is a good one.”

“Let’s hope so.” Buford rolled his eyes good-naturedly, popping the CD into the karaoke machine before sitting down at an electronic drum set onstage. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Ferb grabbed an electric guitar from behind the stage, watching as the words scrolled across the screen, Phineas Ferb, Django and Baljeet taking the three microphones.

Phineas took a step forward. “Sixteen. The only way that I had a car was after I dropped my Mama off—“

“Where she needed to go,” Ferb sang.

Django joined in. “Four bald tires, with the ceiling falling and the window stuck, but the only thing that I cared about was the radio…”

We’d turn it on
turn it up to ten…

“And everybody would jump on in!” The red head grinned as Django and Baljeet joined him in the chorus.

“Riding down that highway, who wants to be the DJ? I’ll find a spot on the side of the road…”

Django pointed to Baljeet. “You find something on the radio.”

Like a feel real good song
we’ll know it when it comes on
we didn’t have no money, no place to go—

“All we needed was a radio,” Phineas sang.

Ferb walked over to his brother, exchanging the guitar for his brother’s microphone. “I’d grab my girl, we’d look for somewhere to watch the stars, the perfect place to put it in park and take it slow.”

Phineas joined in, the two singing in harmony. “She’d sing along, to even the ones that she barely knew. It still sounded good a little out of tune—“

“But we didn’t care.”

Phineas and Django looked at each other, grinning. “I’d look at her, she’d look at me—“

“I’ll never forget that melody!” Ferb quickly handed the microphone back, taking the guitar from his brother, rocking out on a solo.

The red head looked around at the group. “Shhh…hey ya’ll be quiet—“

“Hey man, what—“ Django started as Phineas leaned an arm on his shoulder, smiling cheekily.

“That’s my favorite song.”

He grinned, singing into the mic. “Hey man, turn it up loud!”

Come on come on come on!

Baljeet joined in, the three singing the chorus.

Ridin' down the highway
Who wants to be the DJ
I'll find a spot on the side of the road
Can you find summer on the radio?

“Like a feel real good song, we’ll know it when it comes on—“

“We didn’t have no money, no place to go, all we needed was a radio.” The red head grinned, singing the last line. “All we needed, all we need now was a, was a radio!”

“Oh my.” Baljeet grinned as he looked around the bar, taking in the cheers and applause. “That was quite exhilarating.”

“Yeah it was!” Phineas slapped Django a high five, slinging an arm around the teen’s shoulders. He grinned, looking at the others. “Now, who wants to take me on in a game of pool?”

Chapter Text

“Aw man!” Buford groaned, watching as the cue ball made solid contact with the eight, shooting it into the corner pocket. “It’s always the same with you, ya know that right?”

The red head smirked, twirling the cue between his palms. “What’s wrong Bufe? Tired of losing?”

“Yeah. To you.” He returned the smirk before turning to his boyfriend. “Yo Jeet! Get over here and play me! I’m tired of losin ta Dinnerbell!”

“That is Oscar to you.” Baljeet smiled as he walked over, setting his Cherry Coke on a nearby table.

“Yeah, whatever. Grab a cue.”

“Here Baljeet.” Phineas held out his cue. “You can use mine.”

“Thank you Phineas. At least someone knows how not to be demanding.”

Buford rolled his eyes. “Oh come on! Can we just play already?!”

----------------------------

One hour later…

“Now, if you angle the ball this way…” Baljeet leaned across the table, looking down the cue. “The trajectory of the ball should cause it to go into that pocket by a factor of ninety degrees.”

“Yeesh.” Buford rolled his eyes. “Leave it ta you to turn a man’s game into a nerd sport.”

The other teen smirked, his eyes never leaving the ball as he took aim. The cue ball flew down the table, knocking the eight ball into a side pocket. “Haha! I win again!”

“This ain’t fun anymore.” The former bully took a step back, grabbing the rack from underneath the table. “Alright, who’s got next game?”

“Ferb and I will go,” Django volunteered. “We haven’t played all night.”

“Being that certain people have been hogging the table,” Ferb added.

The red head glanced over at their table. “Looks like we’re low on Cherry Cokes. I’ll go get more—“

“What’s up Chumps?”

He glared at the approaching teen. “Hello Thaddeus. To what do we owe this unpleasant visit?”

“Hey man, nice to see your face.” Django stood up, walking over. “Oh wait. That’s not your face; that’s your butt. My bad.”

Phineas snickered, slapping his buddy a high five behind his back.

“How childish. I see you haven’t changed much Django. Sixteen and you still act immature.”

“Actually, on the maturity scale, he outranks you,” Ferb put in.

Buford looked up from the pool table. “Yeah; Django may be immature, but at least he ain’t a jerk like you.”

“You wanna try that again?” Thaddeus rapidly advanced towards the other teen.

“With pleasure.” The former bully straightened up, cracking his knuckles in anticipation.

“Babe, don’t. You will just make him angry.” Baljeet shut his mouth, realizing his flub immediately.

Thaddeus turned toward him. “What did you just call him?”

“Ummm…Buford. Because that is his name.”

“Last time I checked, Babe was a form of endearment.” Thaddeus looked between the pair. “You two dating or something?”

“Hey man, leave them alone.” Django took a step forward, standing next to Buford.

“Yeah, why do you care if they’re dating anyway?” Phineas asked.

“Because it’s unnatural.” The bully got right in the teen’s face. “What’s the matter Baljeet? Couldn’t hack it as a man?”

The teenager glared at him. “Hmph. I am more of a man than you will ever be.”

“Why you—“

“Hey! Leave him alone!” Before the others could say a word, Buford socked the bully in the jaw, causing him to take a step back.

The red head groaned. “Bufe, I don’t think that was the best thing to do.”

“Hey! He insulted him!” He pointed to Baljeet. “Nobody, and I mean nobody, insults my boyfriend!”

“I know I know. But—“

“Violence is never the answer,” Ferb added. He calmly regarded the bully, watching as Thaddeus merely shook off the blow.

“You really think that’s gonna stop me? I have cat like reflexes; if you chumps think you can take me on…” he stuck his left arm out, landing a blow to Ferb’s gut. “You got another thing coming.”

“Ferb!” Phineas closed the gap between him and Thaddeus in two steps, slamming the teen against the wall. “That’s my brother! Don’t ever mess with my brother!”

“Well well. Looks like I hit a nerve.” Thaddeus snickered. “Oh, by the way, where’s that girl you’re always hanging out with? Isa-what’s-her-name?”

He blinked. “Isabella.”

“You know what I heard?” He got right in the teen’s face. “I heard that you have a crush on her. I heard that you don’t know how to act around her. And I also heard…” he smirked. “That’s she’s good in bed.”

His eyes flashed, one hand gripping Thaddeus by the throat. He growled. “Don’t. You. Ever. Disparage Isabella.” His grip tightened. “Or I will end you.”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Buford grabbed the red head by the shoulders, prying him off the other teen. “Ya know I’m all for punchin and fightin, but the idea is ta injure him, not kill him.”

“Come on. Let him go. It’ll be fun,” Thaddeus goaded.

“You’re cruisin for a bruisin…”

“Yeah man, what did we ever do to you?” Django asked.

“Yes. You are always harassing us without probable cause,” Baljeet added. “Just because you are uncomfortable with mine and Buford’s relationship does not mean you have the right to harass us or our friends. And furthermore—mmph!”

“Man, when did I become the peacekeeper?” Buford clamped a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth. “Don’t mess with bullies; ya know better.”

A muffled shriek was heard as Baljeet smacked the hand away. “That is just it! I am tired of being bullied! I am tired of living by other people’s rules!” He took a step toward Thaddeus. “I am gay! I love a man who spent an entire summer giving me wedgies!”

“Not so loud,” Buford hissed.

“People change! They grow up! But you will never grow up!” Baljeet took another step forward. “You are nothing but a guttersnipe!” He reeled an arm back, landing a blow to Thaddeus that sent him sprawling.

“Ah! My eye!”

“Get ready gents,” Ferb stated calmly. “I believe he just kicked the hornet’s nest.”

“Jeet, what did ya do that for?!” Buford wailed. “I mean, I’m proud of ya, but—“

“Thor! Get over here!” Thaddeus barked. “I need reinforcements! Now!”

The former bully grabbed his boyfriend, using him as shield as Thor walked over, followed by ten other guys. “We’re outnumbered!”

“Man, what are we gonna do?” Django asked.

Ferb took off his beige, button up collared shirt, revealing a white beater shirt underneath. He folded the shirt, placing it over the back of a nearby chair before turning to the other teen. “We fight like men.”

“Django, you take the left; Ferb, you take the right,” Phineas ordered. “I’ll take center.”

“Hey what about us?” Buford asked, pointing to himself and Baljeet. “We’re kinda sittin ducks here.”

“Jeet, you back Ferb; Bufe, back Django. If we work together, we should be able to take them.”

“But there are to many!” Baljeet squeaked.

The red head ignored the plea, getting into a boxing stance. “We move on my count. “One,,,two…”

Three.

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Several minutes later…

“Ow. Ow. Ow.” Baljeet winced with every step, limping across the parking lot.

“Man, I’m covered in bruises.” Django gently touched his face, neck and arms. “My parents are gonna kill me.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I think our parents reaction will be the same,” Phineas remarked, holding a hand over his eye. “A black eye is kind of hard to hide.”

“Try two black eyes,” Ferb added dryly, pointing to his face. “Dried blood on the jaw doesn’t look much better.”

“Man, you’re all a buncha wusses. Your first brawl and you’re all actin like a buncha girls.”

Baljeet rolled his eyes, wincing as he took another step. “Ow.”

“Here. Lemme help.” Buford stopped walking, standing with his back to the other teen and squatting down. “Climb on.”

“Buford, I am not riding piggyback.”

“Do ya wanna limp the rest of the way ta the car?”

He sighed, climbing onto the teen’s back, gingerly running a finger down his boyfriend’s cheek. “You are bruised…”

“Nuthin I can’t handle; I’ve been through worse.” He carefully stood up, jogging to catch up with the others. “Gotta say though; I’m proud of ya Jeet.”

“Yeah. You really came through tonight Buddy,” Phineas added.

“Yeah man; the way you told Thaddeus off was kind of awesome.” Django grinned.

“Even if we did end up in a brawl,” Ferb noted.

“Aww. Thank you everyone. I was just trying to do what was right.”

“Ya done good Jeet.” Buford squatted down as they reached the truck, letting his boyfriend slide off before unlocking the door. “Alright, who’s climbin in first?” A collective groan went up from the others. “Aw come on!”

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Monday morning

“Hey Phineas.”

The red head started, quickly slamming his locker door shut before holding a textbook up to his eye. “H-hey Izzy.”

She raised a brow at him. “Phin, why are you holding the book up to your eye? And better question…” she crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Yes you have. You’ve been avoiding me all morning. You won’t talk to me and every time I approach you, you jump about two feet into the air. It’s impressive, but I’m a little concerned. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Phineas…”

He sighed, lowering the book, pointing to his eye. “The guys and I got into a brawl Friday night. I didn’t wanna tell you because I knew you would worry.”

She winced, reaching a hand up, gently touching the bruise. “Does it hurt?”

“Not as much as it did. A couple of bags of ice Saturday and Sunday helped though.” He smiled. “Ferb’s method worked wonders.”

“Ferb’s beat up too?”

“We all are. Well, except for Buford; the worst he got was a mild bruise across his cheek.”

“So what did happen?”

“Sorry Izzy; I can’t tell you.” She glared at him. “Blood Brother Oath. I’m…kinda sworn to secrecy. I wanna tell you though. I just…you know, can’t.”

“I understand.”

“You do?”

“Phineas, they’re your friends! Of course I understand! Some secrets are only meant to be shared between certain friends. I have that with the girls; it makes sense you have the same kind of thing with the guys.”

“Oh.” He reached over, grabbing her books from her, the two walking down the hall. “Soo…what kind of secrets do you only tell the girls?”

“Mmm…sorry. I can’t tell you. Besides, if I tell you one of them, then you have to tell me one of yours. And you can’t break a Blood Brother Oath.”

“That’s cold Izzy.”

“It’s the truth.” The two walked in companionable silence, the red head stopping once he reached Isabella’s homeroom. “So, what’s our next friend date going to be?”

“It’s gonna have to wait. Ferb and I are grounded for two weeks.”

“Aww.”

“Don’t worry Izzy; Ferb and I are gonna use that time to start coming up with ideas for Junior Prom.”

“Junior Prom huh?” She sidled up next to him. “Who are you going to take?”

“Um-uh-well—“ The red head took several steps backward, rubbing the back of his neck. “Gee Izzy; Prom’s still three weeks away and, well…Ferb and I still have to plan it.” He laughed nervously. “I can’t plan a date until I know what we’re doing. So really—“ he took a quiet breath of relief as the warning bell rang overhead. “Uh, here.” Phineas roughly shoved the books into her hands. “AP Physics. Gotta run. I’ll…talk to you later?”

“Yeah. Sure. No prob.”

“Thanks.” He turned around, calling over his shoulder as he ran off. “Bye!”

Isabella blew out a frustrated puff of air, lightly smacking her forehead with a fist. “Great job Isabella; you scared him off again.”