Work Text:
Leaning against the door frame, Phineas watched his brother play with Simeon. The toddler giggled as Ferb blew another raspberry on Simeon's belly.
Phineas felt torn between enjoying the scene and feeling out of place there. Ferb was amazing at everything he did, parenting wasn't any different, so why did he need Phineas around anymore? If it was just for the company and help, Phineas was positive his brother could find someone else. Someone he could have a normal relationship with.
He could give his son a mom instead of an uncle awkwardly trying to fill up that place. Or maybe that was backwards. Phineas sighed. Trying to fit gender labels onto their roles in Simeon's life was way harder than it had any right to be.
But whatever the label, Ferb could find someone to marry and have a mostly normal life. It sure seemed like that was what he was after at this point, the good old normalcy that they never actually had growing up.
Normal kids didn't do the type of stuff they had done.
If Ferb did do that, Phineas didn't know where it would leave him. Maybe he could try college or something. He'd never thought about his future plans not including Ferb. Almost everything they'd ever done was together, would he be able to make anything of himself on his own? The thought made him look away from the scene in front of him.
He needed Ferb. Ferb didn't need him. Ferb could do better than him.
Phineas turned away the nursery and started walking down the hall. There were two rooms he went to when upset, his bedroom and the bathroom. Considering he didn't feel like tempting the voice that always goaded him to drag a razor over his skin into making an appearance, he went for his bedroom.
At times like this, he missed Perry. Being able to hug the platypus to him and cry and vent had always made his day better.
He could only hope Perry was in a better place right now.
Back at their old house with Mom and Dad where there were no angsty eighteen-year-olds to bug him.
He flopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He'd only slept in here once, the first night after they'd finished unpacking, which was actually the same day they moved in. He'd hated it. After fourteen years of sharing a room with Ferb, not sharing one put him on edge.
How would he even survive on his own if Ferb asked him to leave? He shook his head. Ferb would never ask him to leave, Ferb was too nice to do that.
Even if he wanted Phineas gone.
A light knock at the door was all the warning he got before Ferb poked his head in before entering the room. He sat down on the bed, twisting to face Phineas.
"I'm fine." Phineas felt he'd been saying that a lot of over the past couple years. It seemed to have taken the place of "I know what we're gonna do today" and "Where's Perry?" and what a depressing realization that was.
Ferb stared at him.
"What?" He wanted to wallow in peace, he couldn't do that with Ferb next to him.
Slowly, Ferb moved one arm to the other side over Phineas so he was leaning over him. If it was anyone else, it would make Phineas wary. His other hand crept towards Phineas' shirt, lifting it.
"What are you do-Gah!" Phineas' jerked his leg up in response to Ferb suddenly bending down and blowing a raspberry on his belly.
Ferb let out an 'oof' and pulled back.
"You had that coming." Sitting up, Phineas yanked his shirt back down. "Seriously, what the heck, bro?"
"It cheers up Simeon." Ferb shrugged. "Perhaps I took the wrong approach." There was a glint in his eyes Phineas didn't like.
Phineas moved to jump off the bed, but arms wrapped around him from behind. The two brothers fell back across the bed, Ferb grip not slipping a bit when Phineas landed on top of him.
"Dude! Let go." Phineas reached back, slightly hitting Ferb's shoulder. Pretty much the only place he could reach.
Ferb's chin rubbed against the top of Phineas' head as he shook it. His fingers gently prodding into the fat of his brother's belly in what Phineas was half sure was a poorly planned tickling attempt.
Poorly planned because he'd never been very ticklish there.
While not the reaction Ferb was aiming for, the ridiculousness of the situation alone was enough to make Phineas smile.
Then Ferb's fingers worked there way up to his ribs, and Phineas squealed.
"F-Ferb, sto-stop!" He giggled, lashing out best he could without putting all his strength into it. Actually hurting his brother wouldn't help.
Phineas was running out of breath by the time Ferb stopped. "Feeling better?"
"No." He was still laughing. When was the last time they'd just goofed around like this? Phineas honestly couldn't remember.
Ferb poked him in the ribs again before his hold lessened.
Trying to get his breath back, Phineas didn't make any move to get up. He was content to stay like that, as long as there was no more tickling, for as long as Ferb would let him.
Some part of him was on alert for Ferb showing any sign of distress from having all of Phineas' weight on him. He knew he was far from light.
"Why did.. you start this?" Phineas turned his head, trying to see Ferb's face for a silent answer. It didn't work.
"You appeared to be upset, and I realised it had been much too long since you genuinely smiled and laughed."
Phineas blinked. That couldn't be true, he smiled and laughed. He always had.
But Ferb wasn't someone who'd lie to him about stuff like that either.
"I'm sorry." He had to be better. Smile more.
Still, he thought he'd been doing a good job of acting happy. He should have known he couldn't trick Ferb forever.
Ferb's arms shifted back to his waist, holding onto him again. "Phineas, you don't apologize for not being happy." Letting go of him with one arm, Ferb pushed himself up, forcing Phineas to sit up as well. When Ferb started speaking again, his voice was lower, "If you're not happy here, you don't have to stay."
The statement sent Phineas' fears crashing into him. It was true. Ferb really wanted him to leave.
"I was petrified about raising a child. When you offered to help me, I was so grateful for it that I didn't think about what you'd be giving up." Ferb buried his face in the crook of Phineas' neck. "It never occurred to me your happiness could be one of those things."
It took a long moment for Phineas to break past his already decided thoughts to make sense of what his brother was saying. "You... think I'm unhappy because I want to leave?"
Ferb stilled against him. His unspoken question hanging in the air around them.
"That's-that's the exact opposite of why I'm unhappy." He twisted around to look at Ferb. Phineas didn't how he'd gotten everything so backwards.
Except he did know. High school might have been behind him but the memories of insults and jabs were still there. He still felt useless.
But Ferb didn't feel that way about him or he'd be telling him to get out, right? Phineas clung to the belief.
Part of him wanted to voice everything going through his head. Lay it all bare in front of Ferb and have all his fears put the rest, but he couldn't. The fears froze the words in his throat.
Instead, he leaned into Ferb's embrace and held on just as tight. "I am happy here." Please don't ever make me leave.