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“ A tired and shattered heart
Begins to nourish as you plant the light
A precious flower that cures the mad
For that’s your name in the Greeks’ write
Unable to stop my love from pouring
Dear Alyssa, I think I’m falling ”
Attempting to blink away the tears intently trying to escape her eyes; Alyssa folded the odd note she found in her locker and put it safely in her pocket, whilst anxiously avoiding anyone who might notice her racing thoughts. Emma couldn’t have written this. No way. Could she? She was the only one who knew about her secret passion forthe Greek culture; that and her well-hidden addiction to old, slightly crappy poetry. No. This was too romantic, almost a full-on love confession. And Emma most certainly did not have feelings for her. Right?
Alyssa could barely hear past her palpitations throbbing in her head when she finally entered the bathroom, pleading at her body to compose. She mentally cursed at Emma, and her stupid way of making her all confused and flustered. No other person could have written this. A tentative smile sparked on her lips and, as the realization sunk in, it grew until melting into an expectant, giddy one. Wait. Her mind started backtracking as her excitement collided with nerves.
She liked Emma, and Emma liked her back. Yeah, she was still processing that. She was seeing Emma later that day, at lunch in the band closet like every other Wednesdaysince they became friends. She started frenetically pacing back and forth thinking about the possibilities. Would Emma talk about the note? Would she have to bring it up? If they did talk about it what would happen? Would Emma... kiss her? Her breath hitched and her stomach twisted, like it had plenty of times because of the other girl. Snapping her out of her thoughts, the bell suddenly rang. She grabbed her belongings and left the bathroom, directing all her energy towards her biology class, desperately doing her best to prevent her imagination from wondering too far into unsafe territory.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
She could barely stand still as she gently tapped the band closet door, clouded completely by anticipation. No response. That caused her insecurities to quickly creep in, questioning whether all this had been a misunderstanding, or worse yet, a mistake. But she pushed them away, determined, and tried again.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
No response, once more. However, this time she narrowly did hear a few sounds coming from the interior of the room, like a familiar voice whispering something along the lines of “Shit. Shit. Shit”. Followed by a much louder “Wait. Wait. One second. I- ugh. One second.” Alyssa let out a shaky chuckle as she became aware that something was different. And Emma seemed nervous. At that, her own heartbeat skyrocketed and the distant noise of school chatter began to blur, focused only on the closed door that stood before her eyes, unmoving. The sound of a turning key immediately changed that, seeing as the wooden piece slowly unlocked and faintly cracked open, leaving it her job to finish the task and reveal the inside.
“Um, you can come in now”
Alyssa complied, and let her jaw hang wide as she took in what Emma had prepared. The place was dimly lit, making her maybe-not-just-a-friend look surrounded by an ethereal, golden light. She was beautiful, and she knew full well she was staring. Though, huh? Since when did school lights dim? The unasked question promptly vanished as her eyes caught the few candles positioned in various places of the room. Emma had put up candles? One of the most romantic gestures in the list of romantic gestures? Sure, she was fine, totally okay. Not about to pass out or anything, definitely not.
“So I read- ” “I just- ”
“You go first, please” Alyssa urged, as she knew that if she started talking now, she would just ramble her inner monologue to no end nor purpose.
“Okay. So I, uh, think you read the poem?” Her pitch came out much higher than usual, and she struggled to make eye contact with the curly-haired girl. Still, when their eyes did meet, Alyssa nodded encouragingly, trying to mask her own feelings of eager unease. That seemed to calm her down, if only slightly. She took a deep breath and continued, letting her pent-up thoughts finally stay out in the open.
“I’ve had this little thing prepared for a while now. Well, I was going to take you in here and tell you how I feel and everything would go great, had a whole speech ready and all. But I just... never got around to doing it? Too scared, I guess. So I just did what I do best and decided to write you something, like one of those poems you like so much. But, anyway, if you didn’t get it from that I just wanted to say that-” She took another breath, tension building up once again. “I really, really like you. Like in a romantic way.” Unable to stop herself, her sentences kept going. Like when you say something embarrassing so you keep adding nonsensical words as a distraction from what you just said. “Ah, by the way, your name really does come from a Greek flower that was supposed to cure craziness, I googled it. Did you know that-”
“Emma. Emma, please stop talking. ” It was her turn to do as she was told, right that second she spun her head, accompanied by a deer-in-the-headlights expression. It hurt Alyssa deeply to see so much worry in her face, so much fear, not for being rejected but because she might just lose the only person she trusts in this wretched shithole of a place, other than her beloved grandma. Alyssa gathered her most genuine, adoring look and lifted Emma’s chin so she could see how much she meant every single word. “I really, really like you too. A lot more than that actually” A soft smile fell easily in her features, only to turn into a grin when Emma shot her a confused look.
“What”
“Yeah, it seems like the both of us have been kinda really stupid”
“Wait, you like me?” That got a laugh out of her. The delightful sound made the corner of Emma’s lips start curving upward as well. Without a second thought, Alyssa leaned in and gave her a quick peck, leaving the girl with the biggest dumbfounded look she had ever seen. It was incredibly endearing.
“Yes Em, I like you”.