Chapter Text
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: yo whoever left the plate of cookies in the classroom you da bomb
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: this shit fuckin good
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: Sylvain, those weren’t for you.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: well then who were they for
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: those shits seemed free for anyone to me
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: cuz they were just sittin there on a bigass plate like
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: like wtf was i supposed to think
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Mercedes made those for Annette, dumbass.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: wait rlly
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: r u sure cuz they were kinda just sitting there in the classroom like
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: i thought that meant they were fine to eat??
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: And whose desk were they sitting on, Sylvain?
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: annettes why
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: oh
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: OH
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: oh no mercedes is gonna fuckin kill me
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: felix why the fuck didnt u tell me not to eat them
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: I did, you idiot.
(Lions) pu55yslayerysylvain: wtf no u didnt or i wouldnt have eaten them
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: I told you not to eat them and you said, and I quote:
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: “Stop tryna kill my fun Felix! They’re obviously meant for everyone! You’re just mad because you don’t like cookies!”
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: And then you tried to shove one of those disgusting things in my fucking face.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: oh right i forgot abt that haha whoops
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: “haha whoops” You idiot.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: why are u mocking me that WAS a haha whoops moment
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: felix bro ur hurting my feelings :(
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: And?
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: bro thats not cool
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: And I should give a fuck why?
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: cuz thats not a very bro thing to do
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: f-felix kun ur hurting my feelings
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: :(((
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Suck it up and take the L then.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: fine then >:(
NoMercie has joined the game.
pu55yslayersylvain —> FighterFraldarius: shit bro wtf do i do mercedes is gonna kill me
pu55yslayersylvain —> FighterFraldarius: help me please felix kun ill do anything uwu
FighterFraldarius —> pu55yslayersylvain: Anything?
pu55yslayersylvain —> FighterFraldarius: yes anything just pls help a bro out
FighterFraldarius —> pu55yslayersylvain: Then perish.
pu55yslayersylvain —> FighterFraldarius: wait u know how to use memes??? wtf since when
FighterFraldarius —> pu55yslayersylvain: Of course I know memes. I’m not a boomer, you idiot.
pu55yslayersylvain —> FighterFraldarius: you literally didnt know how to break a block when u first started dude
pu55yslayersylvain —> FighterFraldarius: u kept single clicking and not holding it like im sorry how do u not expect me to think ur a boomer?
FighterFraldarius —> pu55yslayersylvain: Any chance you had of me helping you is now gone.
pu55yslayersylvain —> FighterFraldarius: there was a chance then??? :)
FighterFraldarius —> pu55yslayersylvain: No.
pu55yslayersylvain —> FighterFraldarius: :(
(Lions) NoMercie: Which one of you ate the cookies I made for Annette? ^_^
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: felix
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: Sylvain.
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Sylvain did. I don’t even like cookies.
(Lions) NoMercie: Sylvain! How could you? D:
(Lions) NoMercie: I made those for Annie because she got sick. D:
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: i swear i didnt know they werent free for everyone
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: im just stupid and thought u made them for everybody to eat im sorry
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: please dont kill me haha youre so sexy
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: Really? That’s the apology you go with?
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: r u mad cuz i didnt call u sexy
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: dw ingrid ur sexy too
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Dumbass.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: dw felix here in blue lions we are ALL sexy
(Lions) NoMercie: It’s alright, I made her more.
(Lions) NoMercie: Next time, Sylvain, if you want cookies just make sure to tell me next time so I can make you a batch, ok? ^_^
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: will do mercedes thank u so much for forgiving me ur the best
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: and the cookies u make are the best too
(Lions) NoMercie: Ahh! I’m so glad they turned out well! I was trying a new recipe. ^_^
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: :D
SexySinger has joined the game.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: aw shit here we go again
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Sylvain, if you dm her more stupid minecraft pickup lines I will actually slap the shit out of you.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: bet
pu55yslayersylvain —> SexySinger: *teleports into your dms*
pu55yslayersylvain —> SexySinger: haha i threw my enderpearl and it landed here in your dms so here i am ;)
pu55yslayersylvain —> SexySinger: so whats up baby?
SexySinger —> FighterFraldarius: Sylvain’s trying to use minecraft pick up lines on me again. Either kill him for me or tpa me to him so I can do it myself. <3
FighterFraldarius —> SexySinger: I’ll do it. You killing him seems to have lost its effect.
SexySinger —> FighterFraldarius: Thanks, Felix. <3
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Sylvain, I warned you.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: no felix wait dont kill me haha youre so sexy
pu55yslayersylvain was slain by FighterFraldarius using [Dumbass]
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: you cant kill me after i called u sexy thats illegal according to the bro code
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Too bad for you that I don’t abide by the bro code.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: what the fuck you signed the contract
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: No, I didn’t. I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: wym ill send u a pic ur signatures right on it
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Sylvain, that’s the worst forgery I’ve ever fucking seen holy shit.
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: You didn’t even try to mimic my handwriting at all.
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: You literally just wrote “Felix :)”
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Since when do I sign my name with a fucking smiley face.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: since i wrote the contract
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Holy shit Sylvain does that say page 25 of 25 at the bottom?
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: How fucking long did you spend making your dumbass bro code contract for it to be 25 pages long?
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: a long time
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: altho like 15 of the pages are just printed out memes but they still count imo
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: are u impressed? ;)
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: I’m impressed at how stupid this is. This is a new low, even for your usual levels of dumbassery.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: so ur saying i impressed you? :)
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: im glad i impressed you felix kun
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Stop calling me Felix-kun.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: owo im sowwy mistew fewix is dis bettew
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Sylvain can you just for once shut the fuck up?
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: I don’t think he’s physically able to. He has no brain to mouth filter.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: i so do have a brain to mouth filter fuck you ingrid
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: You called Professor Byleth “dummy thicc” yesterday when she greeted you.
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: You have no brain to mouth filter.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: ok first of all
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: she is dummy thicc and thats a fact so im not wrong
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Actually, it’s an opinion.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: shut up felix im tryna make a point here dude
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: and second of all i knew what i was doing when i called her dummy thicc
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: so it was an active choice and thus i have a brain to mouth filter
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: ingrid fucking owned with facts and logic right there folks
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: anything to say in your defense?
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: You know, sometimes I wonder if he was dropped on his head as a child.
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: I’m pretty sure he was.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: fuck you i was not
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: ah shit brb dimitri needs me for smthn
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Later, dumbass.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: later asshole
pu55yslayersylvain has left the game.
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Finally, some peace and fucking quiet.
(Global) (Eagles) Caspartheghost: who the fuck ate my pizza rolls
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Aaand I spoke too soon.
(Global) (Eagles) Caspartheghost: this is a serious fucking crime people
(Global) (Eagles) Caspartheghost: oh nvm it was me false alarm
(Global) (Eagles) CrestTextbook: Caspar, wrong chat.
(Global) (Eagles) Caspartheghost: oh haha whoops mb :)
pu55yslayersylvain has joined the game.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: im back bitches
(Lions) NoMercie: What did Dimitri need you for, Sylvain?
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: he needed me to make dedue a minecraft account
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: which me being the gentleman and alpha gamer i am so graciously helped him to do
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: The fact you used the words “alpha gamer” to describe yourself means that you are not an alpha gamer.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: excuse you did YOU make dedue a minecraft account?
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: no so thats right you have no right to judge my alpha gamer status felix kun
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: its ok you’re still cool youre just not an alpha gamer like me
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: can u chug a monster energy then crush the can in your hands felix
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: I wouldn’t know, as that’s not something I’ve ever tried to do. And I don’t want to.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: r u sure cuz i could totally teach u bro
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: For the last fucking time, I don’t want your goddamn gamer fuel, Sylvain.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: why not
(Lions) FighterFraldarius: Because it’s fucking disgusting.
(Lions) WannabeFalconKnight: ^ That shit is gross. I have no idea how you drink it.
(Lions) pu55yslayersylvain: its simple i channel my inner gamer