Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's been a long time since Rengoku was on a mission with Tomioka, maybe a year? Two years? He'd say he's glad of the opportunity to spend time with his fellow pillar but Tomioka is as talkative as ever, which is to say- He hasn't spoken a word this entire time.

"This demon is pretty powerful by the sound of it! Do you think it could be a demon moon?"

Silence.

"I hear this town has some beautiful hot springs! Maybe they're worth a trip!"

"You should be focusing on our mission. Lives are in danger."

Ouch. Silence was less harsh. But Rengoku takes the hint and stops talking.

The town is disturbingly quiet and the sun is just setting as they arrive. Rengoku walks a few steps behind Tomioka, hand on the hilt of his sword. Tomioka stops in his tracks.

"What is it?"

"Blood." The back of Rengoku's neck prickles and he grips his sword. He hears something land on the ground behind him and sees Tomioka's eyes widen in horror, mouth opening to yell his name before something pierces the back his neck and everything goes black.

When the world fades back in, he's flat on his back, staring up at the starry sky. Rengoku sits up, hand going to his side only to find that his sword isn't in its sheath. There's a dull pain in the centre of his chest, like he got kicked, and he has a splitting headache. Looking around he spies the demons head disintegrating a few metres away from him, is the fight over already? How long was he out? He casts around, seeing only the dense forest and the winding path back to the town. Where's Tomioka?

"Tomioka!" Rengoku staggers to his feet. His sword is to his left, laying on the ground, and he snatches it up, swivelling to look for Tomioka. He spots him a good distance away, on his knees and cradling his right arm. "Are you alright?"

"The demon took somebody, go find them and make sure they're ok."

"Are you-" Rengoku falls quiet at Tomioka’s withering look and heads into the forest to search. It isn’t until he’s surrounded by trees on all sides, the moon bearing down on him from above, that he notices his sword is covered in blood.

Rengoku finds two people cowering behind a tree and, once he’s able to convince them that he’s not a demon, escorts them back home. Luckily neither of them are seriously injured and once they’re safely home Rengoku heads back to where they fought the demon, he’s not sure if Tomioka will even still be there, but he wants to talk to him if he can. He’s long since cleaned and put away his sword but he keeps finding spots of his blood on his clothes even though there’s not a single cut on him. By the time he gets back the demon’s body has completely disappeared, leaving only the signs of a scuffle in the dirt, Tomioka also remains, standing with his back to Rengoku.

“Tomi-” Rengoku pauses. Tomioka’s head is bowed and he trembles, sniffling quietly. Is he...crying? “Tomio-” Tomioka is already gone, jumping up and flying away through the trees. Rengoku frowns and follows after him but keeps his distance, quietly disturbed by how slowly Tomioka seems to be moving.

*

Tomioka’s arm aches, beheading a demon with a broken arm will have that effect, but he grits his teeth and keeps going, even as his injured leg throbs. He can’t face Rengoku again. Ubuyashiki had warned them that the demon had proven hard to kill, but he hadn’t known why. It wasn’t even a demon moon… 

Rengoku’s bright eyes filling with contempt-

Tomioka shakes his head violently, he’d promised to report back to Ubuyashiki, he can’t afford to get emotional. Granted, they were supposed to report back together… He’ll get over this, he knows Rengoku wasn’t in control of himself, knows he would never do something like that on purpose.

Fingers digging into his arm, the bone creaking under the pressure-

Once he’s given his report, Tomioka’s going straight to the butterfly estate, Kochou’s incessant taunting will be a welcome distraction. Tomioka pauses and touches the back of his head, his hand comes away covered in blood and he sighs, he already feels unworthy as a pillar and being beaten senseless by one of his fellow pillars isn’t doing very much for his self-esteem.

“How did you get stabbed with a sword?”

Why does she have to ask questions?

Tomioka settles for answering with sullen silence, Kochou rolls her eyes and leaves him alone. At least he’s in less physical pain now. With any luck he’ll be fully recovered soon and he can go back out on missions, missions in far away places where Rengoku has no chance of finding him.

“Good to see you again, Rengoku!”

Too late.

Chapter Text

Rengoku had been hoping Tomioka would be at the butterfly estate and Kochou had told him as much, but Tomioka seems to be avoiding him and is nowhere to be found.

Ubuyashiki had more or less explained everything to him, recounting what Tomioka had reported. Knowing what happened doesn't do much for the uncomfortable gap in Rengoku's memory but he feels ever so slightly better. Ever so slightly.

"This has disturbed you."

"Yes, you could say that." A demon took control of his body and made him attack one of his own. That would disturb anyone.

"Have you talked to Giyuu about what happened?"

"No, I haven’t even seen him since..."

"Mmm, Giyuu gave me exact details of what happened, but it caused him great discomfort. I think it would be better for you to hear it from him."

"Understood."

"Kyoujurou."

"Yes?"

"Giyuu cares deeply for you, please keep that mind."

Cares deeply for me, huh? I've seen no evidence of that.

But if Ubuyashiki says so, it must be true.

"He got stabbed with a what?" Rengoku runs into Aoi one morning and inquires after Tomioka, bastard can't be that hurt if he's evading Rengoku like this.

"A sword, did the demon have one or something? I asked how it happened but he didn't answer." Rengoku grips the hilt of his sword, remembering the blood glistening on it in the moonlight. "He was beat up really bad and pretty miserable as well, but you seem more or less ok, did something happen?"

"Uh-"

"Aoi, we have a new patient!"

"Sorry! I have to go!"

"It's ok," Rengoku murmurs but she's already out of earshot.

Giving up on ever catching Tomioka alive, Rengoku decides to go visit Kanroji. He can't chase the water pillar around the butterfly estate forever and he's been meaning to spend time with Kanroji for a while. He'll just corner Tomioka at the next pillar meeting.

As per usual with Kanroji, their time together is mostly spent eating, Kanroji is a good cook and never judges anyone for how much they eat. Not to mention, she’s great company. Kanroji chatters about how Iguro is stuck up in the mountains somewhere on a mission and some amazing new recipe that she tried and Rengoku tries his best to pay attention and engage in conversation. It seems like he’s not doing very well though because Kanroji trails off after a while.

“You’re not eating very much.” Rengoku glances down and has to admit that she’s right, it’s true that compared to Kanroji no one eats very much, but he’s barely eaten more than a bowl of food. “Are you alright?” Rengoku thinks carefully about how to answer that question. He could say he’s not feeling well and use it as an excuse to get the hell out of here and go home and hide. Or he could actually talk to someone about the yawning abyss of unretrievable memory that may very well be hiding the fact that he attacked Tomioka and stabbed him with his fucking nichirin blade. Because he’s not an emotionally constipated idiot like someone he knows, he goes with the second option. Kanroji listens quietly as he tells her what he remembers, then what Ubuyashiki had told him and then what he thinks happened, based on what he heard from Kochou. She listens politely with only the occasional nod and sympathetic noise until Rengoku finishes and lets out an exhausted sigh.

"That sounds horrible." Kanroji's lip quivers and she jumps over the table to tackle him in a hug. Rengoku manages a smile.

“Thanks for listening to me.”

“No problem! So, you said you already tried to talk to him?”

“Yeah…But he’s avoiding me.”

“Ok…” Kanroji shifts to sit next to him. “Shall I make some tea?”

“Please do.” Kanroji clambers to her feet and skips out of the room, Rengoku sighs and slumps forward.

Rengoku sips his tea and takes a deep breath, Kanroji rubs his back and smiles encouragingly.

“I’m sure he’ll come around. Tomioka is a little…” She doesn’t need to finish her sentence, Rengoku knows what she means. “Maybe he just needs some time.”

“Maybe…but I can’t stand not knowing what happened.” Rengoku grips the hilt of his sword, knuckles turning white. “Oyakata-sama wouldn’t tell me, so I…” Kanroji looks at him for a long moment.

“Alright, how about you stay the night here and get some rest, you look exhausted by the way, then go back to the butterfly estate in the morning.” Rengoku can’t think of a good reason not to do just that, and now that Kanroji has pointed it out, he can feel the exhaustion weighing him down.

“You’re the best, Kanroji.” She grins and hugs him again.

Tomioka must have assumed that Rengoku had left for good because the first time Rengoku opens the door to his room Tomioka is right there, laid in bed with his arm in a sling. They’re both surprised to see each other, frozen in place; Rengoku snaps out of it first, closing the door behind him before Tomioka can even think about trying to escape. Tomioka lifts his head slightly, glancing at the door and then Rengoku, then huffs and turns away, actively ignoring Rengoku.

What a child.

Rengoku sighs.

“Are you ever going to talk to me?” Tomioka seems to shrink in on himself, gripping the blankets tightly. There’s an empty cup on the table next to Tomioka’s bed and Rengoku strides forward and scoops it up, glancing at the back of Tomioka’s head, white bandages stark against his black hair, before turning on his heel and leaving, closing the door none too gently behind himself. He regrets being so brusque the moment he walks away but...He shakes his head violently. What on earth has gotten into him?

“I don’t believe you.” Rengoku groans and resists the urge to slam his head into the wall. “He’s been in his bed every time someone’s gone to check on him.”

“I’m telling you Kochou, he’s avoiding me!”

“But you saw him today, didn’t you?”

“Yes. But-” Rengoku sighs, head dropping into his hands. “I sound ridiculous, don’t I?”

“Just a little bit. Why are you so desperate to talk to him, anyway?”

*

“Tomioka? It’s me, I brought you some soup.” Tomioka emerges from his blanket cave as Kochou steps into the room.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, pulling himself upright.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, much better, actually.”

“Good.” Kochou’s smile is wicked. “So you’re up to talking to Rengoku?”

Dammit . Tomioka looks away, glaring daggers at the wall.

“He stabbed you right? He just wants to know what he did, I’d say it’s pretty cruel to deny him that.”

“If all he’d done was stab me then we wouldn’t need to talk!” 

Shit. I didn’t mean to say that.

Kochou freezes for a moment, then very carefully places the bowl of soup next to his bed. Tears well up in Tomioka’s eyes and he hurriedly wipes them away, flushing with embarrassment.

“I see.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Ok, I don’t. Would you like to explain it to me?”

Chapter Text

Feeling somewhat sheepish, Rengoku returns to Tomioka’s room, calling out before he walks in this time.

“Tomioka? Can I come in?” There’s nothing but silence for a long time, long enough that Rengoku almost wonders if Tomioka is even there, but then he hears a long sigh.

“Alright.”

Rengoku is a little taken aback by the sight in front of him, Tomioka, his hair down and falling loosely across his shoulders, struggling to rub salve into a wound on his back.

“Shouldn’t Kochou or Aoi or someone be doing that?”

“It’s not that complicated, besides, there are other people to treat.” Tomioka still can’t reach, wincing and gritting his teeth as he tries in vain, Rengoku watches him quietly, not speaking until Tomioka stops and lets out a shaky breath.

“Let me help.” Tomioka grips the blanket tightly, brow furrowed. “Please, just let me help.” Still silent, Tomioka sighs and pushes the jar of salve towards him, Rengoku approaches slowly, as if Tomioka could be spooked at any moment. His head dropping, Tomioka shifts slightly so Rengoku can reach more easily, and when Rengoku touches him Tomioka’s skin is cool under his fingers. Tomioka shivers when his shirt slips further down his back.

Shit. This is way more intimate than Rengoku had expected, his hands shaking a little as he hurriedly finishes and backs away, letting out a shaky breath, Tomioka peeks at him through his fringe.

“Thank you,” he mumbles.

“N-No problem.” Tomioka squeezes his eyes shut and then takes a deep breath.

“D-Did Oyakata-sama explain the demon blood art?”

“Yes...he doesn’t think my memories will ever come back.” Tomioka’s shoulders slump.

“I know-I know it wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s relieving to hear, though I don’t really think that’s the issue here.” Tomioka seems to pout and Rengoku would have laughed if the air wasn’t so tense.

“No, no, I suppose it’s not.” Rengoku slowly walks forward and, when Tomioka doesn’t warn him off, sits on the edge of Tomioka’s bed.

“I just want to know what I did, it’s pretty weird to not be able to account for your own actions like that.” Rengoku laughs nervously. “I promise I’ll leave you alone afterwards.”

That’s a bad promise to make, Rengoku has just spotted a scar on Tomioka’s collarbone that slips down his chest and under his clothes, and he’s suddenly struck with the desire to follow it with his fingers, or maybe his-

He mentally shakes himself.

Don’t get distracted.

“You stabbed me.”

Huh? It was that easy? He’s gonna tell me?

“Also you broke my arm.”

Ah.

“And slammed my head into the ground approximately...eight times.” Rengoku winces. If it was anyone else he might suspect they were trying to make him feel bad, but he doesn’t believe Tomioka is like that. And, somehow, that makes him feel worse. Suddenly remembering the pain he’d felt after the fight, Rengoku touches his chest.

“Well...I’m glad I didn’t hurt you any worse than that.”

“You broke my sword arm, and when you did stop attacking me I had to both defend you and behead a demon with a broken arm and a concussion. So it was already pretty bad.”

Yikes. Maybe Tomioka is more pissed than he thought.

…

…

…

“Is that all?”

“Is that-I’m sorry?” He seems to have truly taken Tomioka off guard, but Rengoku can’t take the time to treasure his shocked expression.

“I don’t think you’d act like this if all I’d done was stab you.” Something like real anger glints in Tomioka’s eyes. “Or was there something else?”

“Get out.”

“So I’m right.”

“I said get out!” Tomioka’s raised voice brings Kochou running and she hovers in the doorway, glancing between the two of them in concern. Rengoku sighs and cedes, standing and walking out. How has he managed to make things even worse?

*

“Tomioka!” Kanroji comes flying into Tomioka’s room, brandishing a basket. “I brought goodies!” Tomioka blinks slowly, unable to process the riot of colour and energy that is Kanroji Mitsuri. She’s a little like Rengoku in that way.

“Shinobu says you’re almost better! I thought I’d bring celebratory snacks!” Tomioka squints at her, considering, and sits up.

“Is that all she said?” Kanroji’s face falls.

“Well, no...But that can wait. Snacks first! You like salmon, right?” Tomioka has never loved Kanroji more than in that moment. She unpacks the basket, unearthing a seemingly infinite supply of cakes and there’s a long, comfortable silence as they both eat. Then, after a long pause. “He’s not angry at you at all, you know? Just in case you were worried.”

Tomioka might have been a little worried. He hadn’t meant to yell.

There’s another long pause before Kanroji speaks again.

“What do you think of him?”

“Of…”

“Rengoku.” What kind of question is that?

“He’s very skilled-”

“Not like that!”

“Like what then?” Kanroji flushes slightly, resting her head in her hands.

“How do you feel about him?” Tomioka frowns slightly.

“I...trust him, I suppose. And...well, he’s very nice, if a little annoying.” The more he thinks about it, the more Tomioka realises that’s a lie. Even when Rengoku is pestering him and trying to make conversation, Tomioka is glad of his company. He glances back at Kanroji to find her smiling widely. “What?”

“Nothing.” She tucks into another cake, still smiling, and Tomioka sighs. He just can’t keep up with his fellow pillars, except Kochou, her bugging him all the time maybe can’t be classed as friendship but he can at least rely on it. Except for the times when she’s exceptionally kind to him, and that seems to have been happening a lot lately. He shakes his head to clear it and catches Kanroji’s attention. “You alright?”

“Y-Yes. I’m just… tired.”

“You better rest up and get well soon, ok? I’ll let you get some sleep.” In yet another whirlwind of colour and energy, Kanroji packs the basket up, somehow manages to trap him a one armed hug that isn’t totally unwelcome, and leaves with a wide smile on her face like she got exactly what she came for.

How do you feel about him? What an annoying question. It keeps playing over and over in Tomioka’s head even though he’s certain he already has the answer.

He really hopes he figures it out soon, or he might have to ask Kochou for help.

He has to ask Kochou for help.

“Useless!”

“What?”

“You. Are. So. Useless.” Kochou punctuates every word with a poke to his chest. “I don’t know how I feeeel Kochou. I want to hold his hand, is that straaaaaage? I dreamt about kissing him, what does it meeeeeeean?”

“I don’t sound like that.”

“You sound exactly like that! I had to deal with the flame pillar moping around my house for days and now you come to me whining because you don’t know what it means when you daydream about going on long walks on the beach with someone!”

“I don’t know what it means.” Kochou drops her head into her hands and lets out a heavy sigh. 

“Ok, Ok…” Then in a measured voice, she says. “Tomioka...don’t worry about what it ‘means’, worry about what you want.”

“I-I want to apologise for yelling at him.”

“That is...a start. Anything else?” Tomioka thinks for a long moment. He vaguely remembers Rengoku’s wide grin from the day they first met, and every other day since then.

“I want...to make him smile.” Or, even better, laugh, Tomioka wishes he was better at that kind of thing. “He’s always...always nice to me. Even when I’m trying to get rid of him, he doesn’t take it badly and I…” Tomioka can feel himself smiling like an idiot but he can’t seem to stop. “It makes me feel...warm, I want to do that for him as well.”

Kochou stares at him, struck dumb.

“That is...that is the single most adorable, and most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my entire life.” Tomioka pulls a face.

“Don’t be mean. I was just being honest, and that was a pretty vague question.”

“I’ll be more direct then, do you want to kiss him?” Tomioka is quiet for a beat, picturing it, then blushes bright red all the way up to the tips of his ears. “I’ll take that as a yes. Now, before I lose it, get the hell out of my house and go confess to your boyfriend, dumbass.”

Chapter Text

“He’s gone.” Aoi meets him at the door.

“What?”

“Tomioka was discharged yesterday, he should’ve gone home already.” Alright, Rengoku will just go to Tomioka’s house-

“Caw! Time to go!” Of course. Rengoku grinds his teeth and weighs his options, if he quickly- “Twenty people missing in a night!” No. He has a job to do. Tomioka would understand.

“Alright, I’m coming. Don’t peck me.”

“Safe travels, Rengoku!”

Rengoku has definitely fought stronger demons, and the hardest part of the mission was chasing after the demon as it ran for the hills at the sight of him, but he does have a major black eye forming and a cut on his leg that hurts like hell. He just needs a good night’s sleep and then he can go-

“Rengoku?” Tomioka is outside his house, seemingly waiting for him. Rengoku instantly forgets the pain of his injuries, increasing his pace and barely stopping himself from yelling in delight.

“Tomioka! Good to see you on your feet again.”

“Yes, I-” Tomioka’s face falls. “You’re hurt.”

“Oh, this is nothing. I’ll be just fine in a couple of days. There’s no need to worry.” Tomioka pulls a face.

“I don’t like seeing you hurt,” he mumbles, too quiet for Rengoku to hear.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Anyway, I, uh.” Tomioka seems to remember himself. “I came to apologise for shouting at you. Only you weren’t here, so I came back...every day.” He fidgets and stares at the floor, Rengoku watches his face for a moment.

“Do you want to come inside?”

Rengoku makes them both tea, fumbling slightly as the ache of his injuries makes him clumsy. He can feel Tomioka’s stare from across the room.

“Stop looking at me like that, it’s only a few cuts and bruises.” Not that he minds the attention. Tomioka’s silent for a long time, before-

“Let me help.” Rengoku blinks at having his own words repeated back at him before he turns and sees Tomioka’s gaze fixed on a jar of ointment.

“Last time we were in a situation like this, it didn’t end very well.”

“I promise not to yell.”

“Pinky promise?” Rengoku holds out his hand, maybe he’s being childish but the mood is far too heavy for his liking. Tomioka shoots him a flat look, unimpressed, but apparently decides to indulge him, Rengoku twines their pinky fingers together and grins.

“Pinky promise,” Tomioka murmurs, meeting his eyes.

“Just a few cuts and bruises,” Tomioka mumbles under his breath.

“Too big of a task for the famous water pillar?”

“I’m not famous. And don’t tease me, you’re not Kochou.”

“Oh, is making fun of you a Kochou Shinobu only privilege? I apologise.” Tomioka fingers hover above a cut on Rengoku’s left arm.

“No. I’m just a little...sensitive right now.”

“Oh. Why? Did something happen?” Rengoku feels like he’s fumbling with a fragile object, barely able to grasp it with his fingers lest it shatter in his hands. If he’s not careful, and it breaks, Tomioka might never open up to him.

“Mmm, I guess something did happen.” There’s an extended pause, Tomioka grips Rengoku’s wrist and stretches it out gently to check for damage. Rengoku wonders if Kochou taught him how to do that. “Somebody said something, and though I’m sure he didn’t mean it, it’s still kind of bothering me.” Another pause. “It’s actually been keeping me awake at night.”

“Would you like to talk about it?” Tomioka is silent again and Rengoku doesn’t realise what’s happening until Tomioka’s grip on his wrist starts to hurt and he feels the tremors of Tomioka’s body through his arm. “Tomioka? Tomioka?” Tomioka releases his wrist and grabs a fistful of his own haori instead.

“Do you hate me?”

Rengoku’s entire mind goes blank and all he hears is a faint whistling noise.

“What?”

“Because Kochou always says, she always says that no one likes me, and I’ve always sort of thought that she was joking. I know that not everyone hates m-”

“Tomioka.”

“-even though Shinazugawa-”

“Tomioka, stop!” Rengoku seizes both of Tomioka’s hands in his own, unfurling them from tight fists where Tomioka’s nails are digging into his palms. “I don’t hate you. Nobody hates you. Of course Kochou is only joking, she doesn’t-” He cuts himself off with a sigh. “Is that what this was about?” Tomioka blinks up at him, Rengoku suddenly realises he’s sat up and is now towering over Tomioka, and frowns slightly.

“...yes.”

All that stress, all that trauma, all over that. Rengoku has never been so frustrated, or so relieved in his life.

“Then I’ll say it again. Nobody hates you, in fact I-Everyone cares about you...even if they have strange ways of showing it. What on earth did I say for you to think that?” Tomioka tilts his head, eyes distant and Rengoku can almost see him reliving the moment. His heart hurts.

“You-You said the only reason anyone was nice to me was because they pitied me.” Then quietly, petulantly. “I don’t want your pity.”

Fuck it. Rengoku yanks Tomioka forward and wraps his arms around him, hugging as tight as he can without breaking Tomioka’s ribs. He’s hurt him enough. Tomioka yelps in surprise and clings to Rengoku’s unbuttoned uniform jacket.

Later, Rengoku will remember holding Tomioka against his bare chest and blush.

“I do not pity you. I think you’re amazing. You lost your entire family to demons when you were just a kid and you kept on going. You invented your own breath style! You put your life on the line for the Kamado siblings...and for me, even after I put you through hell. I’m always going to remember that.” Tomioka makes a strange sound, then another, and starts to tremble. Rengoku watches him carefully, unsure of what’s about to happen.

Tomioka lets out a broken sob, clinging to him even tighter, tears dampening the collar of Rengoku’s jacket.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” he gasps between sobs. Rengoku doesn’t know what he’s apologising for, and he’s not sure Tomioka knows either, but he murmurs soft reassurances and doesn’t let go until Tomioka calms down, heartrending sobs turning to unhappy sniffles to gentle hiccups.

“It’s alright. I’ve got you.” Rengoku has a sad, clingy, vulnerable Tomioka Giyuu in his arms and he would fight an army to protect him right now.

“-got me.” Tomioka mumbles into his chest, letting out a long sigh. His breathing evens out and Rengoku eventually works up the courage to stroke his hair gently.

They sit there for a long time, Rengoku rocking slightly and humming a familiar tune under his breath, Tomioka’s breathing slowing and calming until the both of them fall asleep.

*

Tomioka wakes with a start, his head is pounding, his eyes are sore and his throat is dry.

Almost like he was crying hysterically for a long time.

…

…

…

He realises he’s clinging to something and loosens his grip, Rengoku’s haori falling from his hand. Tomioka stares at it for a moment. Did he refuse to let go and Rengoku had to leave it?

“Fuuuuuck.” His voice is raspy and Tomioka coughs roughly. Floorboards creak and a dressed down Rengoku appears in the doorway.

“Morning,” he murmurs, his smile criminally soft and charming. “Do you need anything? Water? Food? Medicine?” Tomioka nods and waves his hand vaguely in a motion that’s supposed to mean yes to all of the above. Rengoku seems to understand and disappears briefly before returning with a tray that, Tomioka notes with a slight flip of his stomach, he’d clearly prepared earlier. He presses the back of his hand against Tomioka’s forehead, fretting like a concerned mother, Tomioka lets him fuss, content to quietly watch Rengoku’s face. “You really had me worried for a bit there, crying like that.”

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologise, I’m just glad you finally talked to me. I thought I’d lost my friend for a while.” Tomioka abruptly feels warm at being called someone’s friend and then disappointment at not being more than Rengoku’s friend. The dissonance makes him feel sick. It must show on his face because Rengoku frowns and checks his temperature again. “Why don’t you try and eat something? I’ve got a few errands to run but other than that I’m all yours.”

His smile is blinding.

Tomioka is not blushing.

How are confessions supposed to go anyway? Tomioka’s never done this before. He sips his tea and absentmindedly watches Rengoku write. A letter to his brother, Rengoku had said.

Tomioka thinks he should really write to Urokodaki sometime soon. He’s also watched Rengoku write letters to cancel plans with multiple people, so he was lying when he said he had nowhere to be today. Tomioka is pleased, though he feels a little selfish.

“Alright! All done, would you like lunch?” They ate breakfast just a few hours again but Tomioka shrugs and nods, why not?

“Hey, Rengoku?”

“Mmm?”

“Do you remember the first mission we went on together?” Rengoku tilts his head, clearly wondering where he’s going with this.

“Yes, lower moon three I believe? They were causing quite a bit of trouble.”

“It was the first time I saw you fight.” Rengoku raises his eyebrows, then grins.

“Reminiscing are we? It was the first time I saw you fight as well.”

“I think I was pretty mean to you at the time, but I was actually impressed.”

“You’re going to make me blush, Tomioka. That’s high praise coming from you.” Now Tomioka’s the one blushing.

“It’s true.”

“Do you want to tell me where you’re going with this?”

“You know why Kanroji became a pillar, right?” Rengoku’s eyebrows climb even higher.

“Yes. She wanted to find someone stronger than her to marry, but if you’re going to try and fill that role I have to warn you that Iguro will definitely kill you.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“That’s good, I’d miss you if you died.” Rengoku flashes him a lopsided smile.

“I just meant-” Tomioka looks down at the floor, fidgeting slightly. “I think I understand where she’s coming from.”

“How so?”

“Just...I can understand liking the idea of...having someone who can protect you. Or just being attracted to someone who’s strong.”

“You’re a pillar, Tomioka, there aren't many people stronger than you.” Rengoku pauses. “Are you sure you don’t like Kanroji?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, whatever you say.” Rengoku chuckles and stretches his arms above his head. “But you like one of the pillars, right?”

Tomioka’s face is instantly ablaze and he stares a hole into the floor.

“I see,” Rengoku murmurs. “Is it Kochou?”

Tomioka is so shocked he forgets to be embarrassed.

“Kochou?!”

“Judging by your reaction, I’m going to say that it’s not Kochou.”

“No.”

“So who…” Tomioka glances up at him briefly, biting his lip, his heart caught in his throat. It must show on his face.

Rengoku falls deadly quiet.

“Oh dear.” Tomioka swallows thickly, staring even harder at the floor, his ears burning..

Don’t laugh, please don’t laugh, I can take rejection but please don’t laugh at me. Warm fingers brush his cheeks. “Hey, don’t cry.”

“I’m not-” He is.

“I didn’t even reject you, silly. Give a man a moment to process before you write him off.”

“S-Sorry.” Tomioka blinks rapidly.

“You clearly haven’t been getting enough sleep, you should take better care of yourself.” Rengoku nudges Tomioka’s chin, making him look up, and Tomioka finds his bright eyes filled with warmth. Rengoku smiles. “I adore you, Tomioka Giyuu.”

A-Adore??!

“...uh, I…” Tomioka can only stare. He thinks his mouth might be hanging open. But Rengoku doesn’t seem to mind, continuing to smile and gently pulling Tomioka into an embrace.

“You’re the cutest,” Rengoku takes Tomioka’s hand in his own and squeezes gently.

“Rengoku,” Tomioka mumbles.

“Yes?” Tomioka cracks a small smile and Rengoku ruffles his hair. “Stay another night? I’ll cook you dinner.”

“Ok.”

“Also you should come visit…” Rengoku’s voice fades to warm static as Tomioka’s eyelids flutter and he yawns. Rengoku was right, he hasn’t been getting enough sleep, it might be a bit rude of him to fall asleep whilst Rengoku is talking but he’s warm and comfortable and ever so relaxed… “Tired?”

“Mmgh.” Rengoku laughs.

“Wait one moment, I’ll get us a blanket.” Tomioka briefly mourns the loss of warmth but sighs happily when Rengoku returns, wrapping his arms around him and pulling a soft blanket over them. “Sleep well, love.”