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Chapter Text

January 15th, 2012

It was over, wasn't it? They'd driven back Ameno-Sagiri when he'd popped out of Namatame and stopped the fog, the killer was in jail... everything was good. Even Nanako had come around. It was over. So why was there still this unsettled feeling in everyone's gut, two weeks later? Yukiko had just mentioned that she was 'feeling like there was unsettled business, like there were still some answers that they hadn't gotten,' and to Yosuke, that resonated. He turned and looked to Souji, who shrugged his shoulders silently and then, with his next breath, dismissed it as disbelief that it was finally over.

Yosuke could believe that, honestly. This case had been everything they'd done for the past year. It had taken over basically everything in their lives, so naturally, it would be hard to believe when it ended, right? That answer seemed to placate Yukiko, too, who turned to Naoto across the table from her. Everyone else's gaze followed, and Naoto hummed thoughtfully. She'd become kind of the voice of reason over the past few months. That was what she was, really. Reason and intelligence, wrapped in a tiny little body.

"It seems likely, doesn't it?" she asked, pressing her lips together for a moment, before adding, "we all devoted so much of our time to this, now that it's over, it's only natural that we would be floundering a little bit."

Usually, these meetings were livelier than this. Yosuke was making jokes that the girls were rolling their eyes about; they were making plans and having fun, but today, it was quiet. Maybe Souji and Naoto's reassurances weren't as placating as they'd hoped. Even Teddie, not known for his pensiveness, was staring at his empty steak plate like he was unsatisfied.

Chie was the next one to finally speak. "C-c'mon, guys. We're just being weird. So, what about this ski trip we've been hearing you guys talk about since summer?" she asked, hoping that would be enough to get everyone's minds away from the dismal air that had overtaken their table.

It seemed to work. After a few seconds of silence, Yosuke finally spoke up, and the conversation turned far more pleasant, talking about what they would do with the rest of their time together now that things were over. Still, every time someone mentioned the end of things, the whole table went silent for a couple of seconds. Was that going to be how it was every time they got together now, Yosuke couldn't help but wonder? Would there always be this doubt and uncertainty, swirling and covering the table at Junes in a heavy blanket? How long, then, until Souji, his best friend, his partner in crime-solving, got tired of coming back to visit? There were two months left, after all, until he went back home.

Still lingering in dismal thought, Yosuke was the only one at the table who was quiet.

Seeming to pick up on it, Rise nudged him from his left, and looked up at him with a smile. "It's okay, Yosuke-senpai. It just feels weird. Like Chie-senpai said." Her smile was supposed to be reassuring, and because of that, Yosuke responded with a smile of his own. Still, he saw the concern he was sure she hoped she was hiding.

"Yeah," he said simply, turning and looking at the table with a slightly more genuine smile. Teddie had a shocked look on his face, because all of the girls had denied his request for a ski-lift snuggle. It's over. Everything will be okay. Scratching a hand through his hair, he joined in on the laughter. Turning his eyes to Souji, though, with the intent to share a smile and a laugh with the one who'd undoubtedly done the most work in ending this, Yosuke was overcome by another bout of concern when his friend didn't seem to meet his eye. That was weird, wasn't it?

Nah, he's just overwhelmed. This is the first time we've talked about it since we closed the case. And now Nanako's out of the hospital, so... just overwhelmed. Even though Souji wouldn't meet his eye, he still gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile in his friend's direction.

It hadn't worked. Now Yosuke was feeling more unsettled than ever.

His attention turned to Naoto, who in stark contrast to everyone else, had the same look of disquiet on her face. Especially when she looked at Souji. They'd gotten to know him so well over such a short time, though, and they could tell when he was acting off. Or maybe, for Naoto, it was just detective's intuition. Whatever the case, it was both good and bad to know that he wasn't the only one to notice. Maybe he'd talk to her later.

For now, though, he was content to pretend. Was that bad? Probably. But Yosuke was pretty good at bad decisions. Why the hell not continue the trend, right?

He turned to Teddie, who was excitedly yammering away about going to play with Nanako more now that she was out of the hospital. It was then that Naoto excused herself to go and get a drink, and Yosuke took the chance to follow suit. It would give him a chance to ask if she'd spotted the same weirdnesses as he had.

"Yosuke-senpai," she said in a level voice, before Yosuke had made his presence known.

Blinking in surprise, Yosuke looked ahead and saw that she was watching him in the window ahead of her, as he walked up behind her. He chuckled softly. "Guess I could've been sneakier, right?" he asked. "Hey Naoto."

She lifted her hat from her head and smoothed a hand through her short hair. "Well, partly that. I also knew you were coming. That's why I excused myself, after all," she smoothed a hand over her jacket, getting rid of a couple of wrinkles and then beckoned for him to follow her. Her eyes went back to the table, and Yosuke's instinctively did the same. Souji was watching them.

Yosuke followed Naoto around the corner and put his hands in his coat pocket. "You noticed, too, huh?" he asked, when he was sure they were out of sight.

"I'd rather not doubt Souji-senpai, but there's something bothering me about his behavior. He should be ecstatic about Nanako-chan and Dojima-san coming home, right?" That hadn't occurred to Yosuke, actually, but yeah, now that she mentioned it. He nodded. "I think he's earned some trust from us, don't you?" she continued. "We have to assume that he's just a little overwhelmed by everything right now. Finishing the case, Nanako-chan's recovery. Knowing that he has to leave in a couple of months. I'm sure things will eventually level out, and he'll be back to normal."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Yosuke nodded his head. "You're right. Sorry," he laughed, a little self-deprecating sound. "I shouldn't doubt him either. I just..." he trailed off. He still wasn't satisfied.

She nodded. "I know. I'm not either." She smiled softly. "Maybe he'll be more open to discussion later. When there's less going on."

Yosuke turned his head back toward the table, even if it wasn't actually in his field of vision. "Right." They walked a little bit further to a vending machine. Both of them knew that if they showed up back at the table without a drink, the rest would be suspicious. When there was less going on, things would be normal. That was Yosuke's mantra for now.

Chapter Text

March 21st, 2012

And they actually did. For a little while, anyway, things were actually pretty normal. Souji went back to his old self a couple weeks after the ski trip—well, for the most part, anyway, but who among them could say that they hadn't changed at least a little bit?—and sleepy Inaba was back to its sleepy self once more. School was school, Junes was Junes, and the only difference between before Souji's arrival and now was the fact that there was a hyperactive blond shadow-boy constantly in Yosuke's face. The Midnight Channel went quiet, and in mid-April, Souji went back home, as planned.

Yosuke had expected the goodbye to be heavy; to feel like a piece of them was being taken away. But there was an unexpected layer of weight, thanks to the fact that, even though things were normal, there were still things that they didn't talk about as a group. They all resorted to more blaming it on stress. All the same, Souji was gone now, with a promise to come back over Golden Week.

It was a little bit surprising, if he was being honest, to see Adachi at the train station, seeing Souji off, but he guessed they'd gotten close over the year. Surprising, also, was the fact that he got the same goodbye as Yosuke did; as Rise—the girl he'd dated for the year he was here—hell, as Nanako did. Yosuke was willing to attribute that to emotions, though. It felt final. Even with that promise to visit, it felt painfully final, and just like that, the feeling of normalcy and status quo that they'd gone back to these past couple of months disintegrated.

A deep frown crossed Yosuke's face. He'd known this would be a tough day. Maybe it was just all of that concern culminating.

Everyone was saying their individual goodbyes. Yosuke stood at the back of the group, wanting to go last and have a chat with his partner. There was only one person who could dispel this crappy feeling, and it was him. He watched as Rise hugged him tightly and insisted that she was coming to the city as soon as possible to visit him, and that she'd call him tomorrow. Yosuke suspected she would go missing for a weekend soon. A little smile crept across his face at that. The girls were crying. Chie cried at the drop of a hat anyway, almost as bad as Rise did, and Yukiko always fed off her energy. Naoto kept looking away, trying to hide her tears, and Nanako-chan had her head buried in Dojima-san's shoulder.

It's not final, Yosuke reminded himself. It's not.

Everyone had said their 'see you laters', except for Yosuke. They'd all been really careful not to say goodbye. Yosuke took his turn, walking up to Souji with a half-smile on his face. "Yo, partner," he said, his tone a little bit somber.

Souji didn't say anything, just nodded and ducked his head. Yosuke reached his hand out, clasping his partner's hand in his and pulling him forward for a hug. A hundred questions sprang to mind. Every concern he'd had. But the only thing he could really come up with to say was, "you're coming back, right?" Maybe in the answer to the simple question, he'd get an answer to everything else. Souji had always been good at reading him, so he had to hope...

"Don't worry, Yosuke," Souji answered. An ambiguous answer, but like Souji, Yosuke had to figure that he could read between the lines.

Part of him, actually, felt like there was something odd about his voice. But he was leaving. There was bound to be something off about him today. "Not worried." He hoped, as he spoke, that the lie in his words wasn't obvious in his voice.

The final goodbye he gave to the Inaba group was wordless, which was both strange and not. Yosuke scratched a hand through his hair and gave a salute-turned-wave to his friend as he boarded the train without turning back. It was strange, but easily explained. Hell, even Yosuke would probably have had to force himself not to turn and look back. If he looked back, he'd have second thoughts. Something like that.

Why is it that you're spending today making excuses for him? You'd think he's earned some excuseless weirdness, right?

And that was all it took to ease his mind, for the time being, at least. In the back of that very same mind, however, were concerns about how close the rest of their little ragtag group of misfits were going to stick together without the glue that held them together. Chie and Yukiko would have no problems, he was sure of that. But everyone else? What did they really have to pull them together without this case?

The others, at least some of them, were just as worried. Naoto stared after the train as it started its crawl down the track. Rise cried against Kanji's shoulder, which got Nanako going too. Naoto knelt down when she heard Nanako's whimpers and told her that they'd still play with her, and Detective Dojima smiled at that. Chie and Yukiko echoed their sentiments, and Teddie piped up with an eager, "I promised, right?", to which Nanako smiled, sniffling and wiping some tears from her face.

Why had he been concerned again? A ragtag group of misfits they may have been, but over this past year, he'd grown close to the rest of these people. How could he have doubted that they'd still be close?

Stepping forward, he crouched down beside Naoto, in front of the crying seven-year-old, and nodded his head. "After all, Junes would be awful lonely without you, Nanako-chan!"

Rise stopped crying, cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. "I know!" she said, catching Nanako's attention. "We can start planning a party for when your big bro comes back for Golden Week!" She nodded her head excitedly. "It's not that far away, so we don't have a lot of time, but I think it'd be awesome if we sang him a song. What do you think, Nanako-chan?"

"Yeah!" Nanako responded excitedly, finally breaking away from her dad and walking over to Rise to discuss the details. It was good, of course, to see her smiling, but as Yosuke stood up and brushed a bit of wayward dirt off his pants, he turned to look at Naoto, whose face held the same look of concern that he felt like his did.

Well, that wasn't good.

He opened his mouth to speak to her, but she cut him off by mouthing the words 'we'll talk later,' and then went back to giving Nanako her full attention, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes on her face.

*

Sure enough, as everyone dispersed, Naoto walked toward him and adjusted her hat on her head, nodding in the direction of a nearby park bench. "Let's talk, senpai," she said softly, her calm, collected voice betrayed by the perplexed look on her face. Her voice seemed almost like it was when they met her—all business—and it made him realize that he definitely wasn't the only one with some doubts.

They had to come up with some reason not to go to Junes with everyone else—Naoto's was that she had to study some case files and Yosuke's was that his dad needed him to go over some scheduling changes for the store at home (a far less believable reason, especially if the look on Kanji and Chie's faces could be believed)—but eventually, they split off from the group, and reconvened at the station.

Yosuke sat on the bench. "Naoto-kun, I..."

She held up her index finger. "Allow me to wager a guess." She took a seat next to him and straightened her coat. "Souji-senpai's actions are striking you as odd, and to add to that, you're still not completely satisfied with how we left things back in December?" As astute as ever, Naoto delved right into the heart of the problem, without mincing words or anything.

As much as that particular trait used to annoy Yosuke, he was actually kind of glad for it right now. "Something like that. You too?" his gaze was fixated on her. He liked to think that he knew her well enough to read her face now, but sometimes...

… sometimes, she trained it so that he couldn't. This was one of those times. She chuckled, a low, blank noise, and nodded once. "Yes," she confirmed.

Yosuke opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head no. "But, barring anything obvious, telling us that there's something wrong with him, I think we should leave this alone. I think..." she stumbled, something he didn't see often from her, "I think he's earned some trust." She echoed his thought from earlier, and he nodded his head.

"I agree. It's just..." he cleared his throat. "I can't imagine that he'd be so willing to let go of things. I mean, whenever so much as a minor weird detail came up, he always jumped on it. He always wanted to see it through. And now that no one really feels like..." he paused, then backtracked, "or, now that you and I don't feel like it's over... nothing." He didn't know if the others still felt the same way.

Humming thoughtfully, she shrugged. "I think..." she paused, "I think we need to rely on the evidence." There was a split-second of doubt on her face, but she shook it off. "Namatame confessed, right? And there's really no evidence to implicate anyone else. The letters he wrote to Souji-senpai are at the station, and now we all remember seeing him, so we just have to-" she trailed off. She didn't want to say it anymore than he liked thinking it.

He nodded. "We have to ignore our instincts." That was pretty much what it boiled down to.

"That's a horrible thing to say, isn't it?" She laughed bitterly. "But we do. There's nothing we can do, but accept that we might be wrong." The words sounded as bitter as the laugh.

He sighed. "Yeah."

She smoothed her hands along the legs of her pants and stood up. "I really do have to get back, though. I wasn't lying about having some files to look over." The look of dissatisfaction was still plain as the nose on her face. "Do you want to walk back with me?" She nodded in the direction of town, but Yosuke shook his head no.

"I mean..." he backtracked quickly. "I don't mean... I'm not mad or anything. I just need to think for a little while. You know?"

Naoto nodded her understanding and put a hand on Yosuke's shoulder. "Everything will work out, Yosuke-senpai. If anything comes up, we'll deal with it, right? Like we always have." She gave a comforting smile.

He smiled back, and nodded his head. "Yeah. Like we always have." He watched her turn and walk away, and when she was a safe distance, he inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly, letting his head fall backward. This sucked. This really sucked. The whole year, they'd been following their instincts, and now they had to discard them. Damn it, he thought, staring up at the sky. The fog was gone, right? That was what was important. The world wasn't going to end, and Namatame was in jail. And... Namatame was the real killer. He was the guy they wanted in jail. He was.

...Wasn't he?

Chapter Text

June 22, 2012

Golden Week had come and gone with no word from Souji. Honestly, it had hit them all kind of hard, but seeing Nanako cry had been what hurt the most. Souji had given her hope after her whole life had become more depressing than any six year old should have to bear, and now he was gone. And none of them—hell, not even Dojima—could get in touch with him. Rise had tried. She'd even gone to the city to try and find him. She'd gone to his parents' house and asked for him, but they told her that he was on some kind of school trip and apologized, sending her away.

It was almost like he'd forgotten about them.

Yosuke thought that the case closing would leave them all with a new look at the future, happiness, all that cliché crap, but to say that this blasted his expectations was an understatement in the worst possible way. He snorted a bitter laugh as he smoothed some of the wrinkles out of his shirt, glancing at himself in the mirror.

He looked mostly the same. His shaggy brown-orange hair was maybe a little bit longer than before, and he was a little bit thinner (thank you, new crop of employees at Junes who always need their hands held, he couldn't help but think), but still... he looked mostly the same. The most noticeable difference were the dark circles under his eyes.

Chie had been the first to notice them. She said that he looked like a zombie, and Yosuke couldn't really argue with her. He had reassured her a thousand times that he hadn't, in fact, been bitten by some kind of brain-eater, just that he'd had a little bit of trouble sleeping lately, but she hadn't seemed reassured. He'd figured something like that would happen, but it wasn't his fault. Really. Every time he tried to sleep, his mind was bombarded with thoughts about how things just didn't seem right. There were too many questions about the case and none of them could get in touch with Souji... the town didn't seem safe and normal.

Shaking his head, he pressed his lips together. Do we really need him in order to to feel safe? he asked himself, breathing out quickly.

Honestly, though, that was one of the things that Yosuke had always appreciated about him. The world could have been going through Chie's feared zombie apocalypse and with Souji around things would've seemed alright. Scratching a hand through his hair, he shook the thought off. Now wasn't the time to think about that.

Now... he had to get to the shopping district. Chie and Kanji had asked him to meet them at Aiya for a birthday lunch. To be honest, Yosuke had almost forgotten about his birthday. Last year they hadn't even had any time to celebrate it because they'd been in the middle of trying to figure out how to find Rise in the TV. Aside from the money for a scooter from his parents, a quick phone call from both Souji and Chie and an inedible cake from Yukiko, it had gone without mention. This year, Chie had said, he deserved better.

So, Yosuke had agreed to start at Aiya, and then go and see a movie in Okina.

But for some reason, he wasn't really excited. He made his way down the stairs, then onto his scooter to head into town. Honestly, there was something about riding his scooter that was just relaxing. The wind breezing past him as he headed down the street, knowing that he was going twice as fast as he'd been on his bike... he loved it. He breathed in deep as he looked around, then cringed his face when he realized that he'd just ridden past a freshly manured field. Bad timing, he thought as he rounded the corner to get to the shopping district.

As he passed Moel, he arched his eyebrow when he saw a moving van stopped at one of the shops in the distance.

It wasn't every day when someone new moved to Inaba, he couldn't help but thinking. Well, it happened a few times, sure—Souji, Yosuke thought, and immediately stopped the thought in its tracks—but Inaba wasn't one of those super exciting towns that got new people every day. When someone did show up, it was a pretty exciting event.

He stopped in front of Aiya, parking his bike and looking around for Kanji and Chie. A little smirk quirked across his face when he saw them a few yards away, standing beside the moving van and talking to someone just outside his vision. Definitely an exciting event, he mused inwardly as he looked around them and saw Rise, Yukiko, Naoto and Teddie standing there, chatting to that same person. They must have been planning a surprise party for him or something, and gotten sidetracked when they saw the moving van. Yosuke only knew this because he would have done exactly the same thing.

After parking his scooter at a nearby parking lot, he stretched his arms, before walking over to join his friends at the exciting new scene.

"So your parents are opening a clinic or something here?" he heard Chie ask from a short distance away, and looked up overhead at the sign that said 'Future Home of Mathis Family Practice.' "That's pretty cool. It's annoying to always have to go to Okina for little appointments."

Yukiko piped in with an excited nod. "I always thought it was a little bit weird that we had a hospital but not a little family place. And you're right on the shopping district, too. That means you'll be neighbors with Kanji-kun and Rise-chan!" She smiled that patented Yukiko smile and looked over at Rise, who was smiling.

It wasn't quite the same Rise smile she always used to give when Souji was around, but it was something. "And you'll be coming to Yasogami, too. What year are you?" she asked.

Yosuke was close enough to hear a boy's voice come from the other side of the van. "Oh. Third. I'm a third year." The tone was quiet and definitely shy.

"Oh!" Chie piped in excitedly. "That means you'll be in our grade! Mine and Yukiko's, I mean. And our friend Yosuke, who's running l—"

Yosuke chimed in then, "who's right here," he smirked a little.

"Yosuke!" Chie greeted with a smile. "There you are!"

He chuckled a little bit and nodded his head. "I see you guys wasted no time bombarding another new guy," he said, glancing from Chie to the person in question. "Hi," he extended his hand. "I'm Yosuke. Nice to meet you."

The boy's face spread into a smile. Really, he had quite a kind face. Brown doe-eyes and a kind smile. His hair looked like it was just plopped on top of his head in a brown-black mess, and it made Yosuke smile in spite of himself. "Jude. Jude Mathis..." he introduced himself, his voice shy. It sounded almost like Teddie's, to be honest, but a little gentler and less excitable.

"Welcome to Inaba. I see my friends have already pretty much bombarded you." As soon as Yosuke finished his sentence he felt Chie's fist come into contact with his arm. He cursed and glared at her, but there was a little smirk on his face.

Chie spoke up in defense. "We weren't bombarding him, Yosuke. We were welcoming him!" She nodded, then turned to look at Jude. "I mean, we weren't bombarding you. Right?" she asked. "There's no way." And that was Chie. As friendly as she was, she could come on a little bit strong sometimes.

But Jude's smile became a little less shy, and he shook his head no. "It's okay," he insisted. "Honestly, I came outside because I saw you all standing over here and I wanted to come and say hi. But I chickened out," he said, his smile faltering a little bit again.

Naoto shook her head in understanding. "It's alright," she insisted. "Chie-senpai can never resist greeting someone new, and besides, we don't get too many new residents in Inaba, so it didn't take too much convincing to get us all to accompany her," she mused.

"Jude. Tell me if that sign's straight," a stern male voice pierced the air behind Jude, and a man in a white doctor's jacket appeared in the doorway. "Oh. Never mind. If you're going to chit-chat, kindly get off the sidewalk. Your mother and I still have some equipment to move in." The man's presence was very looming, and there was something strange about how Jude tensed at the sight of him, but Yosuke didn't say anything.

Jude didn't say anything at first, instead turned and looked at Yosuke, then at Chie and the rest of the group. "Actually, it's alright, they were going to-"

Something inside Yosuke compelled him to speak up, and he gave Jude a smile. "We were going to have lunch and go to the movies, but Jude is more than welcome to come along." The words came out before he realized what he was saying, but that was okay. The more the merrier, or something like that.

A smile spread across Jude's face and he nodded his response. "Sure," he said softly. "That sounds fun." But as soon as he responded, he cringed and turned his head to look at the man in the doorway. "Can I go, dad?" he asked.

"Yeah." The man's voice came sternly and sharply from the doorway. "Just be back before curfew."

Chie, Rise, Yukiko and Teddie took the chance to surround Jude, asking him questions as they walked to Aiya—Yosuke couldn't help but worry that Teddie would say something stupid—and Yosuke thought for a moment. Maybe it wasn't so bad to celebrate his birthday this year. This was the longest he'd gone without thinking about Souji since he'd left. He winced when he thought that, and Kanji must have caught sight of it, because he nudged Naoto with his elbow and pointed over at Yosuke.

Within a few seconds, Naoto was at one side and Kanji at the other. "So I guess your surprise party was kind of botched, Yosuke-senpai," Kanji said with a little laugh.

Yosuke chuckled and nodded his head, shrugging his shoulders. "Chie will be Chie. New person arrives and she wastes no time making them the center of attention." It had happened with him, and it happened with Souji too. Yosuke frowned again.

Naoto was quiet for a moment, looking down at the ground in thought, and then she spoke up. "Are you alright, senpai?" she asked, turning her eyes up to look at Yosuke.

Once again, Kanji spoke up. "Yeah, man. You've been looking like a zombie for the past... well, since Souji-senpai left." His face turned sour, like it was hard for him to talk about, too.

"You've seemed kind of distracted over the past few months. And you don't ever want to talk about Sou—" Naoto stopped when she saw his index finger pointed like he wanted the topic to be dropped.

He held his hand up and stopped her. "I still don't." Having him cut contact with them felt like a betrayal of the highest degree, and he just... didn't want to talk about it. "I'm fine, guys. Just haven't been sleeping well," he said as they approached the door to Aiya. He looked at Naoto. "Let's not talk about this right now, okay?" Jude was holding the door open for them, and he didn't really want to spill his feelings all over the floor with the new guy sitting there.

The look on Naoto's face was significant, and wrought of 'we'll talk about it later,' but for now, she looked at Kanji and nodded, like she was confirming that it was okay to drop it.

Yosuke took the chance to walk into the diner behind them and turned to look at Jude. Inaba was a tough place to be new to, because for a long while, people looked at you like you were an alien. He nodded for the guy to follow him and put his hands in his pockets. "So, how long have you guys been in Inaba?" he asked.

"Just yesterday," Jude spoke, pushing some of his shaggy hair from his face. "We were supposed to move a week ago but the place we moved into had a raccoon problem or something. I didn't know there was so much wildlife around here," he laughed a little bit.

With a chuckle, Yosuke nodded. "You don't know the half. Wait'll you see the Samegawa. There have been no fewer than three instances when we've seen deer at the river from the field outside school." He wasn't much of an outdoorsy guy, but he had to admit, that was pretty cool. "And once, from the roof at Junes, we saw a bear running from the dumpster into the woods nearby. Inaba's not really exciting, but there's a lot of animals around town."

A smile spread across Jude's face. "That sounds awesome." He watched as Yosuke slid into a booth across from Chie and took the seat beside him. "I'm from Nōsu-ichi. It's not a city, but it's bigger than Inaba. Kind of like that place I passed on the way here... um... Okina, I think?" He shrugged and nodded his head. "The only wildlife that I really saw there were squirrels and rats. But I don't count that." He paused, before chuckling. "I've always been kind of a sucker for animals." A sheepish smile spread across his face.

Somehow, Yosuke could see that. He seemed like one of those ridiculously nice people. Not that it was a bad thing. And he was surprisingly easy to talk to.

Lunch was actually kind of fun. Despite it being Yosuke's birthday, everyone spent most of the time talking to Jude, getting to know him. Honestly, Yosuke didn't mind. When it came time to go to Okina, they paused outside Aiya, each of them at their individual bikes, except Jude, who stood biting his lip.

He held his hand up in understanding, a smile on his face. "Oh, um... you guys go ahead. I don't want-"

Oh. He didn't have a scooter. Right. Yosuke shook his head, stopping him before he could finish. "Nah, it's alright. We can forget about the movies, about Okina, for today. How about we head over to Samegawa instead. Or we can show him around town." He flashed Jude a little smile. He seemed like a nice enough guy, anyway.

Awkwardly, Jude put his hands in his pockets. "Are you sure? You guys had plans." He worried his lip in his mouth, and Yosuke went to speak up.

But before he could, Chie took over. "Yeah! Come on, we're having a good time, right?" she asked, taking her bike helmet back off and hanging it on her handlebars. "It's good. You get to see the town and we still get to hang out."

At that moment, Yosuke felt eyes burning the back of his skull, and he turned to look at Naoto, whose expression held concern once again. Okay, yeah. Part of his motive was that he wasn't thinking about Souji right now, when he was talking to Jude his mind wandered, but what was so bad about that? Distraction was okay. And it wasn't just for his sake, was it? His expression faltered, and he bit his own lip, releasing it before he turned back to look at Jude.

"Sure," he said. "That sounds like fun." There was pure gratitude on his face as he rejoined the group.

Chapter Text

June 25th, 2012

Inaba summers were always hot, Souji couldn't help but think as he sat in the car beside Adachi. The night was black and the windows were deeply tinted, so fortunately, there was little chance that anyone would see them. The shopping district had changed a little bit since he was last here. It was still sleepy and boring, but there was a little more life to it. New businesses were opening up; there was a bistro in the old model shop and a branch of Wild Duck Burger across from Tatsumi Textiles, and then there was a family clinic opening up next door to it. Even this late at night, there were still people strolling out of the varying businesses, on their way home.

In the distance, he spotted Kanji and Rise with some random, unfamiliar boy, and subconsciously, even though he knew they couldn't see him, he ducked his head. Explaining himself would just be so unpleasant. Not to mention how creepy it was that Rise had basically tried to stalk him down.

He made a face.

"How long do we have to sit here?" he asked, turning his head to look at Adachi next to him.

Adachi snorted a laugh. "Pussing out on me?" he asked, but Souji shook his head insistently.

He let a little smile cross his face. "Of course not," he said. "Just... I really don't want to be here. Do you want to explain to Rise and Kanji why I'm here with you?" Adachi made a face. "I didn't think so." His voice was resolute, like he knew that would be the answer.

"Fair enough. I told you we wouldn't be here for long, kid. I just want to give you a look at the next target. The whole false sense of security thing is working. Everyone's already forgot." Adachi blew cigarette smoke out of his mouth and the haze filled the car. That type of thing used to gross Souji out, but now? Well... a lot of things were different now. He breathed in slowly, then out. "This is gonna be your first test, kid."

Souji looked at Kanji, Rise and that guy as they walked down the street. "You mean him? Who is he?" There was a tiny bit of something that was very much not jealousy in his voice.

Adachi caught it and smirked a little bit. "Jude something-or-other. New in town. Three days and he's already ingratiated himself with all your Investigation Team pals." His eyes turned to where the boys were dropping Rise off and then heading the other way.

"They're not my pals." Souji's voice took on an annoyed tone. Hadn't he shown Adachi his loyalty already when he burned the letter? So, why did he doubt him still? "So you want me to throw him in? Do you have a TV ready for me?"

Adachi snorted and shook his head no. "You're smart. Get creative. His folks are doctors. I bet they've got a huge TV. And if not, that's when you have chloroform, rope and a blindfold." He huffed an annoyed sigh. "I'm not supposed to help you, kid. This is your test. Get a good look at him, alright? You're coming back tomorrow night."

With a nod, Souji watched as he split off from Kanji and crossed the road, entering the side of the small clinic. The guy looked like a do-gooder. More than any of the people he'd called his friends last year. And the way he talked to Kanji and Rise like he'd known then forever pissed him off. "Yeah, alright," he said to Adachi. "I've got him. Let's go."

*

Sleep had become something of an elusive beast in Yosuke's life. It wasn't like he wasn't tired. Between school and Junes and spending time with friends, he didn't really have a lot of time to relax, so yeah, he was definitely tired. But when he did try to lie down and get some sleep, his mind just kept wandering. Tonight was the worst case of that. On his way home from work, he could have sworn he saw someone who looked like Souji, leaving a convenience store and getting into a black car, but after blinking and looking back... the car wasn't even there anymore. In fact, he wondered if it had even been there to begin with.

Maybe he was going crazy.

At least some things were okay. Hanging around with Jude over the past few days had been nice. Of course, the group still didn't feel the same, but it was a little less empty. He'd learned a lot about the guy over the past few days. Like why he had an American name even though he looked Japanese... at least somewhat. His mother was Japanese, and his father was American. A simple answer, though Yosuke had felt somewhat awkward asking. Jude had talked about how he'd always been sort of bookish, and how he didn't talk to a lot of people. When the topic of his parents came up, though, Jude's easy, friendly demeanor stiffened right up and gave short, one-worded answers. An interesting fact, but Yosuke didn't press any more than that. He could tell a touchy subject when he saw it.

It seemed like Jude got along with everyone, really. Being neighbors with Kanji and Rise gave them the chance to get close, and he got close with Chie and Yukiko pretty instantly, too. Teddie was friendly with just about everyone, and even Naoto had warmed up to him pretty quickly; their shared intelligence seemed to bond them. The cloud that formed over the group kind of seemed to be thinning.

Heaving a sigh, Yosuke looked down at the floor to see Teddie sleeping, seemingly without a care in the world. He wondered, for a second, how the shadow-boy's mind worked. Did he think about Souji a lot? Did any of the others? Was Yosuke the only one who seemed to be weirdly consumed by this?

He groaned and moved his pillow from underneath his head, putting it over his face and huffing in irritation. Of course he wasn't the only one who missed him. Why in the hell was this still so damn bitter, so many months later? And why was it making it so hard for him to sleep?

Fortunately, the rain patting the roof outside sort of soothed him, and he felt sleep starting to tug his eyes closed. Finally. Maybe he'd actually get a full night's sleep for once. Just as he finally felt himself about to doze off, however, he heard a familiar electronic buzz across the room. Beneath his pillow, his eyes shot open, and he lifted it, his head turning to look at the TV on the other side of the room.

What the hell... he muttered inwardly, pulling the pillow all the way off his head and pushing himself into a sitting position.

That static. The Midnight Channel... he blinked twice, then turned to look at the floor. "Ted. Ted wake up," he murmured, but the only response he got from Teddie was a grunt. His eyes went back to the TV, only to see a vague shadowy figure. You're kidding me... he thought, shaking his head no. "Ted. Ted!" he whisper-shouted, grabbing his pillow and tossing it onto the floor, hitting Teddie in the side of the head.

"Wha? Owww, Yosuke, that hurt!" Teddie spoke, a little louder than he probably should have with Yosuke's parents asleep down the hall.

Yosuke shushed him. "Shut up, stuffing-for-brains! Look!" He pointed at the TV, and Teddie turned his head to look, his bright blue eyes wide with shock.

Teddie stared at the TV, gave a shocked gasp, then looked over at Yosuke. "Is that a person?" he asked. "It's still blurry. That means they're not in there yet, right? But... but Namatame's in jail! How's someone inside the TV?" His eyes were still wide, and his jaw was slack and open.

With a frown, Yosuke took out his phone and scrolled through the contacts. "Teddie, call Rise." After briefly raising his eyes to make sure he was listening, he looked back own at his phone, hovering over Souji's name on his contact list. Before he could talk himself out of it, he'd hit send.

One ring, and then an automated voice answered him. "The number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please check the number and dial again." With wide eyes, Yosuke removed the phone from his ear to make sure he'd hit the right person on his list. It was definitely Souji's number. So... why was it out of service?

Yosuke's mind went back to a conversation they'd had months ago, about how he couldn't bring himself to change his phone number, because he missed his "friends" from the city. Apparently he doesn't feel the same... he thought.

He chewed on his lip and hung up, preparing to talk to Rise on Teddie's phone, when his rang. He looked at the screen. Naoto... he thought, hitting answer. "Naoto?" he answered. Within three seconds he heard his call waiting beep. He could guarantee that it was one of the others. A series of identical beeps assaulted his ears erratically. Everyone was trying to get in touch with each other.

They'd all seen it.

"Did you see the Midnight Channel come on?" she asked, her tone uncharacteristically taken-aback.

Yosuke breathed a sigh. He'd been hoping to be wrong about this unsettled feeling. But he hadn't. "Yeah," he responded simply. Weirdly enough, his mind was less focused on what he'd seen, and more on the fact that Souji's number had been disconnected. "I saw it." He recovered quickly.

Her voice was still shaken. "I tried to contact Souji-senpai," she said. "I can tell by your voice that you did, also." Yosuke was quiet. "Are you okay, Yosuke-senpai?" This time, her voice held a layer of concern, even though she was still very obviously shaken.

Huffing a sigh, he nodded his head. "Yeah. Fine. Let's meet at Junes tomorrow, okay? My lunch is at two-thirty, but I think I can get an hour if I tell my dad I'm going over price reports." He frowned. "Give the others a call?" He needed to get some air, clear his mind.

"Yosuke-senpai..." Naoto was even more concerned now.

He sighed again. "Naoto, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow." His voice was final, and without a goodbye, he flipped his phone closed and looked at his missed calls. Literally everyone else on the team had called him. He told Teddie to call the others, and when he was sure the blond boy wasn't paying attention, he slipped his shoes on and walked out the door in his pajamas. Despite asking Teddie to call, he sent everyone a quick text, telling them where and when to meet tomorrow.

Without realizing it, his feet had taken him to the Samegawa Riverbank. At least the rain had stopped, for the most part. He crossed his arms where he stood and looked down at the ground. He'd come here with Souji so many times when he was in town. When he'd talked about how he missed Saki-senpai and Souji had hugged him. When they'd fought. When Yosuke had kissed him, and Souji had insisted that he wasn't interested in guys, even though Yosuke swore that he felt him kiss back. When they'd agreed to always be friends, no matter where they were...

Apparently that was a hollow promise, he thought, sighing heavily.

"Yosuke?" he heard a voice call from behind him. It sounded like Teddie. Only softer and a little bit lower.

He turned his head, forcing a weak smile when he saw Jude. "Hey Jude."

The other boy laughed a little. "If you tell me not to make it bad, I might have to throw you in the river," he half-joked from where he stood a few feet away from Yosuke.

Yosuke laughed once, hollowly. "You can make it as bad as you want," he reassured, then paused. "Wait, that sounded wrong." Really wrong. Yosuke's face flushed red. "Forget I said that," he said.

Jude laughed. "Forgotten. What are you doing out here? It's midnight and it just finished raining." He looked up at Yosuke, doe-eyes inquisitive as a little kid's.

But Yosuke didn't want to get into it. Especially not with someone he'd only known for a couple of days. "I could ask you the same thing." He looked away from Jude, as if he was closing the topic from conversation, and looked down at the ground where he and Souji lay after their fist fight. "Just needed some fresh air," he said in lieu of a proper answer.

"Me too," Jude responded calmly. "I like this place. It's quiet and a good place to collect your thoughts."

Yosuke laughed halfheartedly. "Kind of," he murmured. "But sometimes you don't want to think, you know? Sometimes you just want to stop thinking. About everything. About anything. About nothing." He breathed out heavily and turned to look back over at Jude. He'd been thinking about how easy he was to talk to. This time... this time it probably wasn't a good thing. Jude was looking at him with curious eyes, but to Yosuke, that curiosity felt like scrutiny.

Jude's tone was quiet when he said, "you look tired, Yosuke," in that calm, gentle voice.

It should have put Yosuke at ease, but all he could think of were all the other people who had said that to him recently. His parents. Naoto. Rise. Yukiko. Chie when he tripped on the sidewalk on their way back to town from dropping Yukiko off. Kanji and Teddie. Even Dojima had mentioned it to him when they'd run into each other at Junes. Well of god-damned course he was tired. Every time he tried to get a little sleep, his mind wouldn't let him, and when he finally fell asleep the god damned Midnight Channel came back on. And Jude asking him triggered something inside his head. He was tired of being asked if he was tired. He was tired of scrutiny, of obnoxious worry... of all of it.

And it came out in an explosion at Jude. "I'm fine, damn it!" he shouted, and his voice echoed through the empty riverbank, through the whole flood plain. As the echo faded, a tiny drop of guilt sank in, but he didn't let it fill up any further. "Never mind. Forget I said anything." He sighed quickly, more of a huff, and turned his back on Jude. "I've got to go."

Two steps away, he turned and looked over his shoulder. Not at Jude, at the river in front of where Jude was standing. He didn't want to see whatever expression Jude was wearing. "Sorry," he murmured to the boy's rippled reflection in the water.

And then, without another word, he walked away. Tomorrow was a busy day.

Chapter Text

June 26th, 2012

8:00 pm

Souji wasn't good at breaking and entering, and he didn't have the rock solid delivery guy alibi that Namatame had, so he had to get creative. He'd been following the guy for a little while, dressed in a baseball cap, sunglasses and basically anything to cover up his distinguishing features. No one had noticed him, which was good. But still, it was a little bit pitiful watching this guy. He was pretty damn quiet for someone who had dragged himself into the investigation team's group. He walked around with a book in his hands, literally just looking around until he found a spot to read. A spot to read. Pathetic. If he was so buddy-buddy with the rest of the team, why wasn't he latched onto them?

He sat on the Samegawa riverbank, on a tree stump near that place that everything seemed to happen for Souji last year. The area was still wet from the rain that had just stopped a couple of hours ago, and the idiot was just sitting there. Not that it mattered one way or another. He was just sitting there, reading. Like the spot was his. Watching that made a little bit of anger bubble up in the pit of Souji's stomach. Temporarily tamping it down, he parked the car a little ways away and got out.

Yeah, he was done with these people, and he no, he didn't miss them. Yeah, he'd chosen Adachi's side, and no, he didn't regret his decision. But these places, these things were his, and he'd be damned if some new guy was going to take them away from him. He'd be damned if he was going to let someone replace his memory.

For now, he'd stay in hiding, though. A safe ways away, at the bench where he'd found Nanako that one time. His eye was on the guy, where he sat reading, and a leer crossed his face. At about eight at night, when the sky was starting to darken and the rain was sprinkling down again, was when it finally started clearing out. Literally the only people left in the flood plain were the two of them. Perfect. Souji had to be quick, but he was pretty good at that.

His pace picked up to a jog. He had to catch the guy before he got too far from where the car was parked. Carrying an unconscious guy through town would be a bad idea, which was why he had a medium-sized TV in the trunk, ready to drop Mathis in.

Coincidentally, almost being caught provided him with exactly what he needed. He noticed that the mop-topped nerd was about to turn around, and he took that chance to hurry the opposite way, ducking into a couple of bushes a few feet away. Not exactly subtle, but if he was lucky, Mathis would see him and come that way, so he didn't have to risk ethering him in the road.

Just his luck, that was exactly what happened.

As the boy approached, Souji realized that he wasn't as prepared as he'd like to be, and quickly reached into his pocket to douse the rag in ether. The bottle went back in his pocket just in time for Mathis to lean into the bush.

"Whoa. There's someone in here. Are you okay?" he asked, his tone concerned, but also suspicious.

Asking someone who looked as suspicious as Souji did if they were okay. Wow, this guy was stupid. Without answering, Souji grabbed the guy's arm and pulled him into the bush. When he went to shout, Souji raised the rag and put it over his mouth.

He was surprisingly resistant. As he inhaled the ether, he fought against Souji's grip and threw a couple of punches, one managing to split the skin on Souji's lip and getting a little blood on Mathis' button-down overshirt. That had to be taken care of, Souji supposed. It was a little thrilling to watch the other boy's fight ebb away as he drifted into unconsciousness. Surprisingly thrilling. Now he got it; what was so fun about this to Adachi. Not that Adachi had ever had to use methods like this, or anything.

Easily hoisting the smaller boy over his shoulder, Souji carried him to the trunk of the car and set him unceremoniously on the ground. He opened the trunk, then took the overshirt off of Mathis and tossed it into the back of the car. He'd have to burn that, but that was fine.

Without thinking twice, he dropped the guy into the TV, closed the trunk, got into the car and started back to Adachi's apartment. They'd watch the Midnight Channel together tonight, and Adachi would have his proof. Then they'd really be partners.

He made it to the main road just before the rain started really coming down. Good.

*

2:40 pm

Some time between four and seven in the morning, the rain had started up again. It had stopped long enough for him to talk to Jude, and finally get to sleep for about three hours, but now it was raining like crazy all over again. Yosuke's jacket was still soaked when his lunch break came around, so he completely abandoned it, and his Junes apron, when he went to meet with his friends. It wasn't like it was cold rain, anyway. As he stood under the awning, he found that the chill kept him awake. That was probably a good thing, right?

The food court at Junes was always dead on rainy days, which suited them perfectly today. There was no one around to hear them... the nearest person was inside, and they weren't even paying attention. Not that, if they chose to listen, they'd hear much of anything. The table was quiet. Completely quiet. No one was even really looking at each other. Every once in awhile, Chie would look around the table, and everyone kept looking at he and Rise like they expected them to explode at any second. Part of him wondered if any of them had talked to Jude. If he'd told them that Yosuke had exploded. It wouldn't surprise him, to be honest. And he wouldn't totally blame Jude if he had.

Even though they all knew exactly why they were here, no one was speaking. To be honest, Yosuke wasn't sure what it was that was making them quiet. Was it the resurgence of the Midnight Channel or was it the fact that Souji's phone had been disconnected? He looked over at Naoto, only to find that she was staring at him expectantly.

See, this was why they needed Souji. When they met up like this, he was almost always the one to get things started. Did that fall on Yosuke now?

He breathed a sigh. "So. We all saw the Midnight Channel last night, right?"

Last year, he started the case with some flowery speech. This year... this year wasn't the same. He didn't want to admit it, but most of last year's floweriness, the excitable attitude he took, was to impress Souji. Now he didn't really see any point in being flowery and fancy about it. Scratching a hand through his damp hair, he watched as everyone nodded. How did Souji always handle this? He wet his lips and looked down at the table. What was he supposed to say? Souji's shoes were some pretty big ones to fill. He always had the answers, always knew how to get everyone talking, and now...

Heaving a sigh, he shook his head quickly. It's not about what Souji would do. Now he's not here, and he obviously doesn't want to talk to us. As much as it sucked to say. He chewed on his lower lip again. Easy questions. "Could anyone tell who it was?" he asked.

The silence was more of an answer than anyone could actually give.

Humming thoughtfully, Kanji spoke up first. "They didn't look a whole lot bigger than Rise did when she appeared on there. But I think it was a guy." He scratched the back of his neck. "The way he carried himself, I mean. It just looked like a guy."

Another silence draped over the table and Rise was the one who broke it. "He either had super thick hair or a big head." She sounded sadder than Yosuke had ever heard her before. Even before she'd been thrown into the TV, when she was really depressed. He figured it probably had something to do with Souji's number. Maybe he'd talk to her later.

"So. A male with thick hair or a big head." Chie spoke up finally, looking up with worry lining her face. "Not exactly anything solid to work with."

Naoto looked up from the table and sighed. "I hate to say this but we might have to wait. It's supposed to rain again tonight, which means the Midnight Channel should come back on again. If it follows the same pattern as everyone else's case did, then we'll more than likely find out more tonight." She hated saying it, just like she'd hated saying that they should ignore their instincts about Souji before.

Kanji made an annoyed noise in his throat and, in usual Kanji fashion, said exactly what they were all thinking. "It pisses me off. All this damn waiting and hoping that some kind of evidence or what the hell ever will pop up. If we had some sort of fucking clue, we could stop it from happening!" he shouted, his voice rumbling the area around them, and Yosuke found himself grateful that no one was out here.

Before Yosuke could speak, Yukiko took the chance. "But if we charged in there without knowing who it was, we'd never find them, Kanji-kun." She frowned. "I hate waiting as much as everyone else does. But Naoto-kun is right." Her face was just as disappointed as everyone else's.

"It'd be easier if we could just get in touch with Sensei." They'd all been dancing around saying anything, tiptoeing and walking on eggshells, but it seemed like Teddie was the one to finally broach the subject. "Yosuke said that his phone didn't work."

Kanji's anger had completely melted away his social filter, and he punched the table. "It's workin' just fine, Ted. He just disconnected it and changed his damn number. He moved back to the city and we're all out like yesterday's trash!" He stood, turning his back from the group and taking a steadying breath.

"That's not true. He wouldn't do that." Yosuke's voice was small, and didn't sound convincing, even to himself. He'd heard the disconnect notice with his own ears.

Rise made a whimpering sound, and pressed her lips together. "Kanji's right," she told them, her voice small. "I started getting the disconnect messages day before yesterday, when I called him after the movies with Jude. Instead of two rings and then voicemail, he just disconnected his phone." It was hard for them to hear, and obviously hard for Rise to say.

But Yosuke didn't want to hear that. "He wouldn't do that." His voice was still quiet, but with a danger to it this time. Daring anyone to tell him that he was wrong.

"Yosuke-kun," Yukiko started.

But Yosuke responded with a furious expression, and she fell silent. "We know Souji better than to think he'd do that. He wouldn't do something like that to his friends. Maybe he got in trouble and his parents took his phone away! What do we know, you guys? Souji wouldn't do that." The words didn't sound convincing to his ears, but he had to say them. Souji would believe in him, right?

The table was silent again, and Yosuke looked down. His mind wouldn't let him disbelieve what he'd said, but he hadn't meant to snap at Yukiko or Rise or anyone else. Just like he hadn't meant to snap at Jude last night. Damn it, what was wrong with him?

"Look. We're all on edge," Naoto finally spoke up. "At this rate, if we stay here much longer we'll only end up fighting more. We'll have to watch the Midnight Channel tonight and see if they come up again. Hopefully, it was just a fluke." But she didn't sound convinced. All of them had seen it, so in all likelihood, it wasn't a fluke.

A frown firmly etched across his features, Yosuke stood up and gave a halfhearted wave as he walked back into the building before Naoto could corner him and try to get him to talk again. But before he rounded the corner, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He steeled himself and turned around to see Naoto behind him. Damn it, he thought. Knowing the way his temper was lately, he'd only end up yelling at her, and Naoto was smart enough to turn that really bad for him. Damn that sounded selfish.

"Naoto," he said quietly.

She frowned. "Are you okay?" Her tone was gentle and caring, but there was something behind it. Doubt, maybe? Not that she was wrong. There was obviously something up.

He pressed his lips together and shrugged. "I'm fine." It wasn't convincing, but at this point, he didn't care. No one believed him anyway. And it wasn't like he was even telling the truth.

With a heavy sigh, she squeezed his shoulder. "Kanji-kun and I were talking yesterday, and we're both really worried about you. You've been acting suspiciously and..." she trailed off. "I'm not good with emotional talk, Yosuke-senpai, but you just sound very depressed and you look so tired. And you won't talk to us. We're all worried about you." She let her hand drop.

Yosuke sighed. "I'll admit that I'm not feeling the best right now." As if it wasn't obvious. "But I'll be fine. Let's get together tomorrow after school, okay? When we find out who's in the TV and where we need to start looking."

Her face was unconvinced, but he knew that she figured out that she wasn't going to get anywhere. "Very well..." she said softly. "But if you do feel like talking, you know that we'll listen. I'll call you tonight after the Midnight Channel comes on." A comforting, but still worried, smile crossed her face, and she turned to walk back to the table.

Great. He looked down at the floor as he walked back inside. He forewent going to the break room to get ready, instead going into the men's room and drying his face and hands with a couple of paper towels. His attention turned to the mirror and the frown on his face drew deeper. With his hair sopping wet like it was and the dark circles under his eyes... he looked like the storybook depiction of a crazy person. He laughed in spite of himself and rubbed his eyes, wishing beyond wishing that he could rub the dark circles away. Was he a crazy person? Defending someone who had more or less abandoned them, despite the fact that he refused to acknowledge their existence anymore was something a crazy person would do, wasn't it?

"Yosuke to checkout, please, Yosuke to checkout!" the loud voice blaring from the intercom permeated his ears and snapped him out of his reverie. It was a good thing this time, though. It stopped him from thinking too much.

No rest for the weary, he supposed.

*

11:45 pm

Teddie sat on the floor, diligently staring at the TV. And he would probably do just that for the next fifteen minutes. Yosuke, on the other hand, stared at his phone in his hands. Souji's number stared back at him like a taunting beacon. He should just delete it. If he lost his phone, what point was there to keeping it, right? His thumb hovered over the delete button, but at the last minute, he shook his head no. Just because his phone was gone now didn't mean it would be later, right? His parents might give it back, or Souji might change his mind... he couldn't just delete it.

His decision came just in time. The familiar buzzing sound came on again, and this time, a clear picture flashed on the screen, even through the static.

Who Yosuke saw was the last person he expected to see.

Jude's facial features were three times more confident on the shadow. The quiet, friendly look wasn't there, instead replaced with a sly, cocky smile. Yosuke remembered his own shadow wearing a similar look. The giant yellow pupils on the being were almost terrifying. The way his eyes almost seared through the TV screen and seemed to look right at the viewer... what was that he'd heard about the Mona Lisa once? That its eyes followed you across the room? Yeah, that was about what this felt like. Jude's shadow stood in the middle of a room, shadow people moving around him and completely ignoring him, except to point and whisper behind his back.

The shadow sighed as he looked over his shoulder to look at the other shadow-people. "Always either bullied or ignored. It sucks. But hey, a new school is a perfectly good place to find some new friends, right?" The shadow's slick, evil voice filtered from the TV and filled the room, as he lifted a book. The cover said something about making friends and impressing people. "Well let's see. While I was at the library earlier, I found this book. How to Make New Friends and Keep Them Impressed." The shadow let out a sickeningly suave chuckle. "Well, the book tells me that in order to make friends, to really make friends, you have to let down the barriers and share all your secrets."

A cruel smile spread across the shadow's face, and his voice took on a deep seductiveness that seemed out of place with Jude. "What secrets could I possibly have? Aren't you dying to know? Doesn't it have you on the edge of your seat?" He smirked. "Well, you'll have to tune in tomorrow. And I know you will!" After a brief pause, the corners of his lips curved even further. "See you then!"

As quickly as the channel faded in, it faded right back out again.

Yosuke was staring at the blank TV, a million thoughts whirlwinding through his mind. He was with Jude last night. He wondered, for a split second, if things would have happened that way if he'd stayed, but he had to shake that thought off, because Teddie was pointing at his phone in his hand. "Answer it Yosuke, answer it!"

To Yosuke's complete lack of surprise, Naoto's name flashed across the screen and he flipped it open. "So it was Jude," he said in lieu of a greeting.

Naoto hummed thoughtfully. "Do you think we know enough about him to find him without asking around, or..." She wasn't sure, but honestly, neither was he.

"No one else in town really knows him, do they?" He paused for a second. He was new, and as far as Yosuke knew, he'd spent most of his time with them. "Except his parents." The way Jude clammed up when they mentioned his parents sprang to mind. Would they be able to get any answers about him?

Humming quietly, Naoto took a few seconds to think. "I could approach them as a detective, but that would require me finding out that he's missing..." Her voice deflated a little bit.

Sighing and running a hand through his hair, Yosuke looked at Teddie, who was more than likely on the phone with someone else from the team. He thought he heard Rise's voice. "We shouldn't decide anything until tomorrow. It's gonna be weird that he's not gonna be at school so soon after moving into town, but..." He paused. What a terrible way to introduce yourself to the rest of the school. Rumor had it that he was supposed to be in their class, so he, Chie and Yukiko could do some damage control, but he doubted that it would work well.

"We might have to go on what we have now," Naoto concluded. "But we'll make a final decision tomorrow."

After they said their goodbyes and hung up, Yosuke collapsed onto his bed and sent a couple of messages to the rest of their friends, telling them the plan he and Naoto came up with. He finished the last message just as Teddie hung up with Rise, and rolled over in bed without a word to the shadow-boy. Tomorrow had the potential to be a really long day. He only hoped that he'd get more than three hours of sleep tonight.

Chapter Text

June 26th, 2012

Four hours was more than three. Not much, but it was something.

Planning without Souji had been just as difficult as they'd thought, but everyone was as ready as they could be. They'd come to the decision to go in. They knew as much as anyone else in town about Jude, they figured, and neither of them really wanted to ask his parents, especially after what Yosuke pointed out about him freezing up when they were mentioned. Honestly, a part of him hoped that it was enough information, because he wondered where else they were going to find out more. If it came down to it, if they had to, they'd go to them. But until then, they'd go with what they had.

It was a little harder for Kanji to conceal his weapon than it was for everyone else, but a person walking across a floor with a folding chair wasn't terribly suspicious, so no one threw them a second glance. Yosuke's own nata were at his sides under his jacket, and if he bent the wrong way he felt how dangerously close they were to his sides. One wrong twist and he'd stab himself. He didn't remember it being this difficult last year, but it was what it was.

They piled into the very same TV—honestly Yosuke was grateful and surprised that Junes hadn't cut the electronics department completely, given how infrequently the TVs sold and how his dad was with merchandise—and the familiar feeling of falling into the TV world washed over him.

It had been months, and a combination of that and possibly a bit of exhaustion had Yosuke making a rather ungraceful landing. At least he didn't land on his wallet this time, he figured.

Kanji offered his hand to help Yosuke up, and he accepted, wincing at the pain of straightening after the landing he'd had. Before he could even blink, Yukiko had thrown a diarahan at him, and he felt as good as new, at least for now. It would hurt later; it always hurt later. Healing spells only really worked inside of the TV, after all. But it would serve its purpose.

"Thanks," he said casually.

When he'd focused, he saw that Kanzeon was out and Teddie was beside Rise, in his costume, ready to "sniff" out Jude's location. It was fortunate that they'd gotten to know him as much as they had over the few days between meeting him and his Midnight Channel appearance, because even if none of them knew a whole lot about him, it was obviously enough for the navigator pair to get a bead on him.

Rise looked at Teddie, and they both nodded. "That-a-way," Teddie confirmed, pointing to the south exit.

After releasing Kanzeon, Rise nodded in the direction Teddie had pointed. "It looks like it's on top of a mountain or something. Like... a path up the side of a mountain? Looks like it's toward Samegawa." She was quiet for a minute.

Usually, this was the point when Souji would lead the charge, but this time... Yosuke sucked in a breath and turned to lead, but before he could, Naoto took charge and beckoned for people to follow her. Yosuke stood in a stunned silence as everyone walked up the path and started in the direction Teddie and Rise called out. It wasn't a big deal, so why did it feel like a punch in the gut? Shaking the feeling off, he hurried behind them, sliding his headphones onto his ears as he jogged to catch up.

*

The labyrinth was, in fact, the path up the side of a mountain. It was actually quite beautiful, to be honest, and the monsters inside were very strange, in that they were just shadow versions of everyday animals. Yosuke had seen a shadow cougar and a shadow bear, as well as various other shadow animals that belonged in place on a mountain. It was harder to dodge them when they charged than when they threw their magic, but the team was managing. Yosuke could tell that Yukiko and Teddie were pushing themselves a little, but they paid attention well and always threw healing spells at whoever needed one.

At one point, it looked like Kanji went sailing back about fifteen feet and crashed into a rock wall after a ram shadow charged at him, but almost instantly, he heard the familiar sound of healing, and within seconds, a furious Kanji was back in the fight, swatting and electrocuting shadows left and right. The feeling of having his nata in his hands was familiar, and the protective presence of Susano-O behind him whenever Yosuke summoned him was a relief; a feeling of not having to bear a weighty load by himself. It was something he hadn't felt in awhile. The electricity of battle charged through him—an ironic term for someone who was weak to electricity attacks—and he found himself cutting down enemies quickly.

Every now and then, Jude's shadow taunted them like a voice from the sky. It taunted Jude, about how they weren't really his friends. How he was too different, too much of a loner, and how no one really liked him. It brought up stories about bullies, about how he was beaten up as a kid and teased when he entered high school, and how when he tried to fight back, he found himself even further isolated. In the back of his mind, Yosuke felt sympathy for their new friend, but he couldn't focus on it now.

The higher up the mountain they climbed, the creepier it got. The sky darkened, and they were surrounded by jagged looking rocks. Not to mention, the enemies were a little stronger, just like they always were when the group neared the end.

In the distance, they could see a large dome at the top of the mountain, and Naoto deduced that it was probably where Jude's shadow had Jude held. Before they could get there, though, they were ambushed by a large bird. Teddie threw out an ice pillar to block a its beak from hitting Yukiko, and Chie kicked the creature to the ground. Without a second thought, Yosuke leapt forward and plunged his nata into a weak spot by the bird's wing, and the shadow disintegrated beneath him.

With all the stress he'd been feeling lately, this felt like exactly what Yosuke needed. A chance to let loose and cut down a few shadows, with a little music in the background, just like the old days. I'll have to remember that. Maybe I'll come in here when I'm stressed out next time, he mused inwardly. His friends would probably kill him if they heard him say that. He pushed his headphones off his ears as they approached the door.

Naoto and Kanji pulled the giant door open, and sure enough, Jude lay on the floor, with his face in his hands while his shadow stood over him, taunting him.

"As if anyone's coming for you. No one even knows you're gone!" The shadow's voice filled the room more than any human voice would have been able to. "And look at how you handle it. Cowering on the floor like a little pansy. I bet you're crying. C'mon, princess, show me your face. I wanna see those tears."

Jude turned his head away, refusing to look at the shadow.

Naoto opened her mouth, but before she could speak, Jude's shadow held his index finger behind him, cutting her off.

Snorting a laugh, the shadow shrugged, then started to pace a little. When the team came into view, a wicked smile crossed its face. "That's fine. I'll just turn around and talk to your new buddies here. Tell them how pathetic you are. How you aren't worth their friendship. Remember Leia? Remember how she just up and abandoned you when Alvin showed her the tiniest bit of attention? Your best friend in the whole world and even she didn't want you. But I guess that made it easier to move, didn't it?" The shadow's attention was back on Jude now, staring at him in complete and utter disdain.

Jude's voice came out as a whimper. "Stop it," he said weakly. It wasn't hard to hear in his voice that he was crying.

Once again, as soon as Rise tried to speak, and once again, the shadow stopped her in her tracks.

"Or did it?" The shadow put a finger to its lips, staring up at the ceiling. "You met all these nice people and sure, they're nice to you, but when you go home, you still have to deal with dear old dad. You're not smart enough for him, are you Jude? You'll never be a doctor. Not that you really want to be, but you haven't really been given a choice, have you? He wants you to be a doctor, but no matter what you do, he's never impressed, is he? You've got good grades, but dad's never impressed is he? Your straight A's are never impressive, but god help you if you ever get a B. Do you remember in seventh grade? When you got a B in history? Of course you do. You never forgot it. It's always with you, reminding you how much of a loser you really are. How much you've failed."

"J-just stop... please... please stop."

Yosuke went to speak up, but Jude's shadow beat him to the punch. For a split second, he found himself wondering why it wouldn't let them talk. But he knew why. Of course he knew why.

"But you don't care, do you? You're better than everyone. You're smarter and when you're in your 'dream job' at a hospital as a star surgeon, making six figures, it won't matter what a bunch of idiots think of you." This time, over the shadow's insistence, the whole team tried to talk, but every time they spoke, the shadow's voice got louder, drowning them out. "Maybe when one of them comes to see you, you'll just refuse to help them. Or you'll just pull the plug. Wouldn't that feel great? Kill them the way they've been killing you your whole life? You want that. We want that, don't we Jude?"

Once again, Jude spoke up, but this time, his voice was creaky as he shook his head. "N-no. I don't want that. You don't know... you don't know anything about me!" he cried out, turning his head and looking away from the shadow.

The shadow laughed coolly. "But I do know. And you know that I know. I am you after all." He crossed his arms knowingly.

It was coming. The word 'no' escaped Jude's lips, and the group was already steeling themselves. There was no way they could get him to accept the shadow at this point. "No." Jude's voice was empty, but his face wasn't. "I don't want that. You're... you're lying. You're not me!" he screamed.

The words echoed throughout the room in the back of the cave, and the shadow laughed. The shadows always laughed. Shadow Jude's body twisted and convulsed, and Yosuke couldn't look away as it changed, turning into a large brightly colored birdlike creature—a harpy, maybe?—with a human body and face; a face that looked just like Jude's. Bright, multicolored feathers with sharp quills fell from the ceiling and the walls, fusing to the shadow's wings, and the team had to duck out of the way, or be cut... or even worse, pulled into the shadow themselves. The shadow towered over them like an angry vulture, ready to crush them with its giant talons. Rise ran over to protect Jude, as the rest of the team readied themselves to fight.

"I am a shadow. The true self..." the shadow called in a warped voice that filled the room. "I'm gonna make you suffer like you all made me suffer!" The shout echoed again.

Yosuke refused to let Naoto take the lead this time. He immediately called forth a garudyne, which made the shadow stumble a little bit, but it completely resisted the wind and retaliated with a powerful talon-kick that threw Yosuke back into the wall. He picked himself up off the ground, coughing painfully, and hobbled forward to join the group, watching as everyone else attacked. Kanji and Chie seemed to be doing the most damage, using physical attacks and not magic, and Yosuke took note. He caught Yukiko's diarahan, and once again felt better. Yeah, he was definitely going to feel this later. Just like he was feeling the disappointed looks that he was getting now. Okay, so maybe charging in wasn't the smartest thing to do, but they were fine, right? That was all that mattered.

He covered Chie as she charged forward, surrounding her in the green aura of a sukukaja, and she jumped out of the way just in time to dodge the same talon that flew at Yosuke before. God, this was twelve times harder without Souji. That persona-changing trick that he did was helpful in a lot of ways.

Yukiko and Teddie were a little taxed again, but finally, the shadow crumbled. The feathers and wings disintegrated, and once again, the shadow took on Jude's form. Jude himself cowered behind Rise. He'd stopped crying now, but he still looked small. He wasn't terribly tall to begin with, no, but right now he looked like an ant. Like a little lost kid.

Rise turned around and knelt beside him. Yosuke felt a pang of bitterness rising inside him. How was it that she always did that? Got the attention of new people and dug her claws right into them? She'd done it with Souji and she was doing it with Jude now, too. He guessed that was what made her a good idol, but would it kill her to let someone else have a chance? Not that it mattered. Not that Jude was anything like Souji. Not even close.

"It's okay," Rise said calmly.

Shaking the bitterness away, he breathed in deeply. They needed to calm Jude enough to get him to accept his shadow. "We know that's not really the whole story. That it isn't really what you think all the way." Yosuke chimed in, watching as Jude raised his head. "Some of it is probably true. A way calmer version of it. But a shadow takes the worst part of you and twists it, to make you deny it. The only way you can make it stop is to admit that there's some truth to it." That was the short version.

"Wh-what was it that you guys did?" Jude asked, his voice shaky as he looked at them in amazement. "I kept hearing you say 'persona,' and then some spirit looking thing appeared behind you."

Naoto nodded. "We had shadows like that, too. Well, like that in the sense that they revealed our dark sides to everyone else. When you accept your shadow, and acknowledge your weakness, you get a persona. That's what those were. I always imagined they represented the strength it takes to accept your weakness," she explained, giving him a weak smile.

Jude pulled himself to his feet and reached down to help Rise up. Once they were both on their feet, Jude walked over to his shadow, then looked back at them—straight at Yosuke, actually, which made him turn and look away self-consciously—then back at his shadow. "You're not wrong," he started, his voice still shaky as he looked at the yellow-eyed version of himself. "I have had thoughts like that before. Maybe not so strong, but they were there. I do wish that I could make people feel the way they make me feel sometimes, and yeah, I do resent Leia, my dad, and myself. I do feel like a loser a lot of the time. I know I've got issues with failure and no, I don't like being alone. So, I suppose you are a part of me." He chuckled bitterly. "Yeah," he confirmed, then nodded his head, as if he was trying to convince himself. "I guess you are me, in a way." Smoothing a hand through his hair, he sighed.

That was all it took. In a flash of light, Jude's Persona appeared behind him; a half-masked human dressed in blue, with feathered bracers and white hair. Everyone else was smiling, but Yosuke felt a pang of frustration in his chest. Was he going to join the group? Was he going to try to replace Souji now? They didn't need another leader. They had him, and Naoto.

No one seemed to notice. They crowded around Jude to congratulate him, and shaking off the frustration, he walked up and joined them. "Good job. Let's get you out of here, alright?" He looked at Teddie, who called his Persona and brought them back to the entrance with a quick cast of traesto.

Kanji supported Jude, who looked exhausted, and on their way back, Naoto explained the whole situation—everything about Personas and shadows and the Midnight Channel and the TV world—to Jude, who was listening quietly.

"A TV?" Jude's expression was incredulous at first. "You're telling me we're inside a TV right now?" After he was quiet for a minute, he finally said, "I'd heard a rumor about that when I got here. The Midnight Channel, I mean. I heard that it was big last year. That there was this whole murder mystery surrounding it." He paused and half-laughed. "You're telling me that was you guys? Who solved it, I mean?"

Kanji chuckled bitterly. "Nah, obviously not. If we solved it, you wouldn't've been thrown in here. We tried to, but obviously someone's still out there." He frowned. Everyone else's expressions darkened, too.

Jude was quiet again. They stopped at the stage exit, the stack of TVs in the middle of the floor the only thing between them and home. "So, how do we get back?" he asked.

Teddie waddled forward in his bear suit and pointed one of his stubby arms at the stack of TVs. "Those!" he said, his voice eager to help like it always was.

But the expression on Jude's face was inquisitive. "Can we even fit through..." he trailed off, turning from the TV's to look at Teddie in shock. "Wait. Teddie, why are you in your Junes bear suit?" he asked. He looked dead tired, but he still looked inquisitive, he still had a hundred million questions.

Oh right. Naoto had explained everything, but not about Teddie. Because how did they explain? Chie spoke up this time. "I'll tell you what. We'll get you home and you can rest for a couple days, or however long it takes you to recover from all this, and then we'll tell you everything." She smiled that kind Chie smile.

Yosuke felt his face twist. They were going to ask him to help them, weren't they? They didn't need anyone else's help, because as soon as they told Souji what was going on, he'd come back and the group would be back together. Yosuke stared at Jude, who was looking between them, with a thousand questions on his face.

"Alright," he finally agreed. "But you're really going to tell me everything, right?" He looked straight at Yosuke as he spoke. Why did he always do that? The group of them were there, so why did his eyes always go straight to Yosuke?

Damn it. "Yeah," he said, a simple one word answer.

Yosuke stood in the back of the group as everyone jumped out of the TV. He glanced around the familiar yellow stage and pressed his lips together. It really wasn't over. His suspicions had really been right. Usually, Yosuke didn't like being wrong. This time, though, he'd wished more than anything that he was. Between this and everything else going on... he was never going to get any sleep again.

Scratching a hand through his hair, he shook the thought off and joined the rest of the group on their way out of the TV. They'd figure it out. As soon as they got in touch with Souji, they'd figure it out.

Chapter Text

June 28th, 2012

"No." The word came out a little more forceful than Yosuke had probably intended it to, but there wasn't really any delicate way to say it. No was funny like that. You could say it in the sweetest way possible, but it always sounded ferocious and bitter, and this was no exception. As Yosuke glanced across the table, he realized that the refusal had gone over as well to them as their question had to him.

Rise narrowed her eyes. "But he's really interested!" she insisted.

Nodding and pointing at Rise, Chie chimed in. "And it's not like he doesn't know how to fight. He's got a brown belt in karate and some lower belts in a couple of other martial arts!" Typical Chie. She lit right up when she was talking about martial arts. As if that was Yosuke's concern. "He said that he learned to fight back in the city, because of how people picked on him." Her explanation went on a little further, and Yosuke's frown deepened.

He shook his head. "We don't need him."

Kanji's eyebrow arched and he narrowed his eyes. "You shittin' me, Yosuke-senpai?" He crossed his arms at his chest, looking every bit as menacing as he was undoubtedly trying to. "I 'unno about you, but I got a bruise on my back that disagrees with you." He pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

Yosuke cringed a little bit. Yeah. His back and his ribs still hurt. "What's that got to do with him?" His voice sounded like a petulant child's.

It was Yukiko's turn to jump on the train. "He said when his persona awakened, when he learned what spells it had, that it has healing." She shrugged. "It's more like Teddie's than it is like mine, but if the mountain was any indication, we're probably going to need the help from here on out." She looked at Teddie, who nodded his head.

"I was totally pooped by the time we got back to the entrance," Teddie chimed in. "We could use help."

Yosuke's face was twisted in irritation. It seemed like he was the only one who didn't want the guy around. Naoto hadn't spoken up either, though, and he had to hope that she agreed. He was running out of arguments, though. "I just don't trust him." The words didn't sound convincing, even to his ears.

And the worst part was, it wasn't even true. Jude had been nothing but great to them. The thought that he'd had about Jude being what the group needed to recover from losing Souji hadn't been a lie. But adding him in without even talking to Souji, the whole reason they were all even friends like this? It felt like a betrayal. It felt like they were doing exactly what they were accusing Souji of doing, and turning their backs on him. Was he really the only one who saw that? He turned to look at Naoto, who was looking at him expectantly. Like she wanted him to elaborate on what he just said.

"You don't trust him?" she asked. Her tone was doubtful. Like not trusting someone they barely knew was a crazy concept.

After a too-long moment of quiet contemplation, he replied with a half-convincing, "no," and when he scanned the group, he was met with nothing but doubting looks. He frowned. He really was the only one who wasn't sure. It's not even that you're not sure, his brain taunted. It's that you wish you were.

Naoto sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Very well," she said. "We'll go over to his house after school and tell him."

Their expressions changed then, to disappointment. They all wanted Jude around, and because Yosuke was refusing, they were all stuck with a no answer. That was the long and the short of it. They'd never really agreed to needing a unanimous vote for things, but that was just the way it went. And if he was making everyone else so miserable, maybe he should reconsider.

"Wait," he said, running a hand over his hair and let a breath out through his mouth. "You guys really want him to help?"

They all nodded. It wasn't untrue that Yukiko and Teddie could use the help with healing, either. And if he could fight... Yosuke pushed back that pang of frustration and the feeling of imminent betrayal of his best friend and sighed again. He'd been sighing a lot lately. It wasn't because he wanted Jude around. No way. Not even close. It wasn't even because he felt like they particularly needed him. It isn't, okay? he thought to himself. Why was he so bad at convincing himself of things lately?

"Alright." He sighed heavily. "Alright," he repeated. "I guess it wouldn't be terrible to have another healer around." Everyone's faces perked. For a second, Yosuke felt like a big brother who had just agreed to take all of his little siblings to a park or something.

Chie gave him a smile and said, "thank you," in a soft voice. It was obviously, at least partially, out of concern for how taxing healing could be on Yukiko. The two girls exchanged a look that made the pit of Yosuke's chest seethe with jealousy. They always looked at each other like that, sure, but there was something different about it this time. Or maybe he was reading too much into it. Another side effect of possibly going crazy, maybe.

Naoto, who was still looking right at Yosuke, pressed her lips together. Damn her and her detective's intuition or what the hell ever it was.

Before she got a chance to corner him, he stood up from the ventilation tube on the roof that they were all sitting on and headed back to the door. "I've got to get to class early," he said as he backed away from the group. "Miss Sofue wanted to talk to me about my paper." He'd always been pretty damn bad with history. Hearing about the past and things that happened hundreds of years ago just bored him. The rest of them knew that, so hopefully they wouldn't bat an eyelash at the lie.

At first, as he made his way down the stairs from the roof to the third floor, he thought that maybe he'd gotten away with it this time. But when his right foot touched the top step of the third floor stairway, he heard a throat clear from above him and turned around to see none other than Naoto standing there.

Damn it. Why was it that every time he turned around, she was there?

"Yosuke-senpai, we need to talk," she said, and this time the concerned tone that she'd been taking with him was replaced with something quieter, more stern. This was Detective Naoto. This wasn't Friend Naoto. Great. He turned to look at her, but she was already talking before he finished the turn. "Come with me, please."

Authority always made Yosuke clam up a little, and the fight that he would have given seeped out as he silently followed Naoto down to the first floor, then out to the practice field. No one was there. What on earth was she going to say? "Yeah?" His response may have been monosyllabic, but it wasn't emotionless. Naoto's face was making him anxious, and he was sure that was showing through.

She sighed. "I want to be pleasant about this, but whenever I've been pleasant lately, you've shrugged me off. We need to talk about the team." When Yosuke was still silent for a few seconds, she took it as a cue to keep talking. "You and I are the two most obvious choices for leader now that-"

He cut her off with a shake of his head and a wince. "Don't say it." The please that wasn't in his words was very much in his tone.

"Now," she continued. "We're the most obvious choices for leader now." The amendment didn't make things better, but at least the ache wasn't as obvious with it put that way. "But with the way you've been acting lately, the others are a little bit concerned about how you'll handle the lead."

Yosuke's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" His voice was dark. Angry, but not quite dangerous.

She looked at him incredulously. "We've told you exactly what we mean, senpai." The frustration was mixed with concern. "You look incredibly tired, and you're not thinking clearly. When we were in the TV yesterday, you charged in twice without thinking. You didn't even seem to think about the possibility of letting Jude on the team. And you're not listening to what anyone tells you when we say that Souji-"

He couldn't let her finish that sentence. The more he heard it, the more he'd be inclined to believe it. "Don't," he said desperately.

Sighing, Naoto held one hand out in a 'see what I mean?' gesture, and the tense demeanor faded for a split second, back into concern. "The others wanted me to talk to you about the possibility about me taking the lead. At least until you get your s—" she stopped abruptly, then paused for a few seconds, and rephrased, "until you're yourself again. And then the two of us can share the lead." She looked at him like he was fragile, like the words would break him.

Well, no, he wasn't broken. Liar, his brain teased. But that didn't mean that the words were easy to hear. "Oh," he muttered quietly. "Do you guys even want me on the team right now? I mean, if I'm such a liability or whatever." He felt like he was being punched in the gut.

"Of course!" Naoto's voice was tinged with a genuineness that it was surprising to hear from her. "Yes, of course we do, senpai. We just know that you're not yourself right now, and the stress of leading, even sharing the lead..." She bit her lip and put a hand on his arm. "Please understand, Yosuke-senpai." She squeezed his arm and then paused before pulling him into a hug. Well that was a surprise. "We just don't want to add more stress to your plate."

He didn't hug her back at first; the whole situation felt like a consecutive punch in the gut and stab in the back. But he couldn't say that he didn't understand where she was coming from. He hadn't been the most reliable lately. He reached up and hugged her back—the uncharacteristic hug was a gesture that he couldn't let go unnoticed—and took in a ragged breath, trying to dispel some of the frustration and sadness so that he didn't cry in front of her. That was precisely on the bottom of the list of things he wanted right now. When she pulled out of the hug and looked up at him, she folded her hands in a pleading gesture.

"Please understand, senpai."

Yosuke was quiet again for a few seconds, but he nodded. "I do." It wasn't a lie. He understood just fine.

He could see the relief wash over her face, but just as quickly disappear. "And please don't be angry with us. I promise that this is just as much for you as it is for the team."

Anger wasn't quite accurate. Yosuke wasn't thrilled, naturally, but he wasn't angry. More than anything, he was sad. Sad at the whole situation. Sad that they'd had to ignore their instincts on so many things and now both—no, no, one... only one—of those things were being proven right. Sad that the whole thing was shaking their trust in each other, or at least their trust in him. Most of all, though, he was sad that he couldn't even talk to the one person who always seemed to be able to make him see the bright side, or think that it would be okay.

He shook his head at her. "I'm not angry," he reassured her.

She stood there in awkward silence for a few moments, before saying, "are you going to come to Jude's with us after school? We're going to give him his glasses." And tell him that he's in, went unsaid, Yosuke could tell.

As much as he was tempted to say no, he knew that he shouldn't. Jude was still their friend, still an okay guy, even if Yosuke had a couple of issues with him right now. "Yeah, sure." He wasn't even trying to hide the disappointment in his tone. Honestly, at this point, he didn't know what to say.

"Are you sure you're not angry, senpai?" Her tone was back to Friend Naoto now. Now that the business was done.

He shook his head no. "I'm not angry. Go ahead and tell the others that I agreed to let you lead. I'll meet you out front after school." The phrase sounded like a demand, but it was really a request to leave him alone.

He turned his back on her, staring at the Samegawa in the distance. He didn't want to be around anyone right now. And he really, really wasn't looking forward to sitting behind Chie and Yukiko for the rest of the day. Naoto didn't say anything else, and the only confirmation that she had left was the sound of the door clicking shut. With her gone, Yosuke leaned against the wall and slid down, putting his head in his hands. He didn't cry. He wouldn't cry. He just sat there, holding his head together while everything else around him fell apart.

Chapter Text

June 28th, 2012

Yosuke would never admit it out loud, but seeing the smile on Jude's face when they told him that he was in made the anger that Yosuke was feeling a little less palpable. When Teddie handed him the glasses, he beamed and looked up at the rest of them with eager eyes. He was still bed ridden, and according to him, he would be for a few more days (and grounded for a few more after that), but they'd been allowed inside to see him. Jude's mother had been the only parent home, and she'd eagerly let them inside when they'd told her that they were Jude's friends.

The shadow's words rang in Yosuke's head. How he'd never really had many friends. It wasn't enough to tamp the frustration on its own, but it did evoke a bit of sympathy.

Standing in the back of the group and watching while Jude turned the TV glasses over in his hands, Yosuke pressed his lips together. He needed to tell Souji about this. Maybe I'll take a trip to the city. It was a nice excuse to take a long ride on his scooter, anyway.

His thought process ended abruptly when he noticed that Jude was looking right at him. Past Rise, past Kanji, past Naoto, who stood immediately in front of him, and straight at him. He pressed his lips together as he looked back. Why did Jude always do that? There were almost always other people around, so why did he always look right at Yosuke like he had something on his face?

"Thanks," Jude said, possibly to whatever it was that Rise had just said to him. But it didn't feel that way.

Yosuke's lips loosened from their pressed-together position and quirked into an unwitting smile. No one was looking at him, so he nodded at Jude, and he was a bit surprised at the bashful expression on Jude's face as he turned to look at Rise—for sure this time. What was up with that, anyway? And why was Yosuke smiling about it still?

His features drew down into a frown. Forced, but a frown no less, and he turned to look away from Jude.

It took more concentration than he wanted to admit to keep his eyes away from Jude's gaze. When he refocused on the group, though, Naoto was sitting in a chair, a few feet away from Jude's bed. Kanji was on her left side as she spoke to Jude. "So, do you feel up to answering a few questions? We can come back later for that, if you'd rather."

He shook his head and gave Naoto a gentle smile. "It's okay. Like I said, I want to help." He looked over the rest of the group, and then sat up in his bed. "Hit me with your best shot." His smile weakened a little.

"Do you remember anything?" Chie asked him. "About when you were put in there?"

Jude was quiet for a moment, his head down and his eyes focused as he thought. "Yeah." He nodded his head. "I was at the riverbank. Reading. The rain had stopped for a little while, so I figured I'd take advantage and get some fresh air." He folded the glasses in his hand closed and slid them into the drawer on his bedside table. "I was walking across the flood plain when I heard something behind me. So, I turned around and saw the bushes a little ways behind me moving." A bitter chuckle escaped his lips and he looked back up at Chie. "I should've left. But I thought someone was hurt. A person or an animal or something. So I went to look."

He sighed. "The last thing I remember before I woke up in the TV is struggling against someone in sunglasses and a baseball hat. He ethered me. Or maybe chloroform, I'm not sure." He frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. "I couldn't identify anything about him, other than the fact that he was probably just a little bit larger than Yosuke, and a little smaller than Kanji." The expression on his face changed to very obvious frustration. He made an annoyed grunting noise. "Sorry," he said.

Yukiko shook her head no. "Don't be. That was great." She looked over at Naoto, who was looking up at the ceiling in thought.

"This is different, isn't it? When Namatame put us all in the TV, he wasn't violent. Not really, anyway." She looked over the rest of them. "Do you think he had an accomplice all along?"

Kanji shrugged a shoulder and then turned to look at everyone else. "Do you guys remember if you saw Jude on TV? I mean, plain TV?" he asked.

That's right! Yosuke hadn't even thought of that. The victims from last year's case all appeared on TV before they appeared on the Midnight Channel. "I haven't been watching a lot of TV lately," he admitted. Wow, was he ever useful here.

Everyone was quiet, but Jude spoke up again. "I haven't been on TV recently, no." He paused, then said, "I don't think I've ever actually been on TV. Well, aside from that Midnight Channel." He chewed on his lip.

"So it's possible that this is either another copycat like Mitsuo was or someone else entirely," Yosuke said as he scratched a hand through his hair. They were practically back at square one. "Do you think it's possible that Namatame escaped?" As soon as the question escaped, though, he realized that it probably wasn't.

Naoto only confirmed that when she said, "I would've heard something about that." She paused, before adding, "Do you think this means we were right? That Namatame didn't do it?"

The expressions across the room were decidedly morose. Rise spoke up. "Or maybe not even that. Maybe he was working with someone else." As soon as she finished speaking, she looked down at the floor. The dismal air in the room thickened. If only they'd actually trusted their instincts. His eyes went to Naoto, who had a guilty expression on her face.

When she met his eye, he gave her a comforting half-smile. Just because she was an ace detective didn't mean that she could know everything. She frowned and looked away. "I don't think there's much we can do at this point," she admitted.

"There has to be something," Jude looked around the room.

Yosuke shook his head. "Last year, most of our time was spent playing the hurry up and wait game." And boy, had he hated it. "Waiting for more people to show up on the Midnight Channel, waiting for people we rescued to come around..." So much waiting. They were right back the waiting cycle again, too.

Jude frowned. "I see," he said, disappointment on his face.

"It'll be okay!" Teddie's voice was as eager as ever. "All we hafta do is keep an eye on the Midnight Channel and save whoever shows up there. We'll get to the answers the same way we did last time."

Everyone was quiet, except Kanji, who said, "We didn't get all the answers last time, Ted." He was right, too.

Naoto sighed. "We'll just have to work harder. Pay closer attention." She worried her lip in her mouth.

Yosuke was sure that everyone's minds were in the same place. Well, except for Jude, maybe. How were they going to figure everything out without Souji? He'd always been the best at finding that one pivotal clue. I need to talk to him. But how? How could Yosuke talk to him when he didn't even know where he lived? His eyes scanned the room, and he fell upon Rise. She knew. But would she tell him? None of them trusted him anymore, right?

Jude's voice was calm when he said, "It'll be alright. We just have to pay attention." Naoto had just said it, but Jude looked right at her when he spoke, like he was trying to reassure her. More surprisingly, Naoto's expression seemed to ease.

Why in the hell did everyone seem more at ease with him? Why in the hell did Yosuke felt more at ease when he said that? Frustration etched itself over Yosuke's features as he tore his eyes away from Jude and looked around his room. It was pretty normal, if a little bit on the nerdy side. A couple of posters from movies—Ghostbusters and a couple of Indiana Jones ones—and some artwork from books like Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones. There were a lot of boxes still, too. Like he hadn't really had the chance to unpack. An MP3 player sat on the table in the corner, and Yosuke found himself wondering what kind of music he was into. Jude's Yaso uniform hung untouched on the door of his closet; a reminder that he hadn't actually been to school yet, and Yosuke hummed quietly. Everyone was quiet. And talking about the case would do little more than make them more miserable. He needed to change the subject.

"Oh. Do you know what class you're in yet?" It was a half-important question.

With a nod, Jude scratched the back of his head. "3-2, I think. That's what Miss Kashiwagi told me." His expression showed that he didn't trust Kashiwagi's word, which was honestly a good life choice.

Yosuke chuckled. "Well, if she's right, that means you're in the same class as Yukiko, Chie and me." He smiled an attempt at a comforting smile and crossed his arms at his chest. "I'll make sure no one takes the seat to my left. It's free." Small talk. He had to try something to get rid of the cloud in the room.

Jude smiled at him. The smile was strangely shy, and Yosuke found himself compelled to smile back. What was that, some kind of alien power? The ability to make people smile back when you smiled? "Good to know," he said.

Rise was giving him a significant look; like she knew something that the rest of them didn't. Yosuke arched an eyebrow at her, and when he turned back to look at Jude, he was looking away, his hair covering most of his face. What was up with that? Rise was being weird, everyone else was being weird, and Yosuke was going crazy.

He really hoped things went back to normal soon.

*

After they said their goodbyes and went their separate ways—Teddie went along with Rise and Kanji to work on some second-year project or something, as weird as it was to hear about Teddie actually being in school now—and Yosuke went home by himself. It was a strange feeling. He'd gotten so used to having the damned bear with him that it was a little unsettling, being home alone. His dad was still at Junes and he honestly had no idea where his mother was, but for once, it was a good thing.

He took his time getting up the stairs and tossed his backpack onto the floor, pulling his headphones off and setting his MP3 player on the table.

Yeah, it had been a long time since he'd actually been alone for an extended period of time. Now would probably be a good time to catch up on all that sleep, he thought. But really, he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep right now anyway. His mind was racing way too much. He'd just lay there, toss and turn, and before he knew it, Teddie and his parents would be home. Nah, I need to occupy my mind instead. He looked around his room for something to do, when his eyes settled upon his two guitars. It had been a long time since he'd played, and really played. Yeah, he'd played a little bit at that concert they'd done with Rise for Junes, but when was the last time he'd played for himself? Played something he knew? Easily more than two years ago.

When he was younger, playing and singing had been a lot of fun. He'd always liked to do it to relax. None of his friends really knew (with the exception of Souji, a thought that made the frown tug a little more at the corners of his mouth), but he'd been playing guitar since he was about seven-years-old. When they'd practiced for Rise's little concert, he pretended. He'd played it off like he didn't know anything about music or how to play, if only because it had been fun, practicing with everyone else. Souji had found out much later that he was actually good. He hadn't been able to play a lot recently, because he was always working or at school or something else entirely, but it would be nice to play again. Really nice.

Before he knew it, his feet were taking him over to his guitars. He leaned over and picked up the acoustic one, turning it over in his hand a couple of times. Turning on his heel, he walked back over to his bed and sat down, guitar in hand.

Strumming, he winced at the out of tune noise it made, and at the feeling of his fingers on the strings. His callouses had faded a bit, since it had been so long since he'd played. Reaching into his bedside drawer, he rifled around a little bit and pulled out an old, sort of beaten up guitar pick. He'd bought it at a consignment shop. It was already beaten up and looked like someone had treasured it, but according to the man who owned the place, it had been there for years. No one seemed to want it.

Raising the pick, he worked to tune the guitar. Two years of detuning was definitely obvious.

When it finally sounded satisfactory, he started to strum a chord progression, which quickly turned into a song. It wasn't perfect. It had been so long since he'd played that he very obviously missed a few notes here and there, but it was nice to play again. He didn't sing along, not right away, but he did play about halfway through the song before he realized exactly what he was playing. Hey Jude... he thought, and dropped the guitar to the bed beside him like it was on fire.

Why in the hell was that the first song that came to mind? He pressed his lips together and stared at the ebony instrument on the bed, then down at the pick in his hand.

He didn't even really know Jude. He knew a little bit about him, but not as much as Rise or Kanji, and here he was playing a song with the guy's name in it as the first thing he thought of when he got a second alone? No. He picked up the guitar and brought it back over to the corner of the room.

This was exactly what he didn't need right now. He walked back over to his bed and flopped down, putting his pillow over his head and resigning himself to toss and turn until Teddie or his parents got back.

Chapter Text

July 16th, 2012

There was something disconcerting about last night's Midnight Channel broadcast. As Yosuke stared at the screen, there was something oddly familiar about the person. He couldn't identify them, and when he'd asked Naoto, she said the exact same thing. That he looked familiar, but as unshapen and staticky as he was, neither of them had been able to identify him. All they could do, he supposed, was wait until tomorrow. The hurry up and wait game was the worst part about all of this, but he'd wait. Just like he always waited.

Besides, he had something else on his mind.

It had taken some begging, but Yosuke had finally gotten Souji's address from Rise. He called it needing closure, but really, he just wanted to see him. Just needed that familiar feeling of comfort that only Souji had been able to bring him. He wanted to tell him that the case wasn't closed and he wanted to find out why he'd been so hard to get in touch with lately. He needed answers. If he didn't get them, he might never be able to sleep again.

As it turned out, though, the trip was too long to take on his scooter. He ended up taking a train for two hours, but the time to think was nice. It gave him plenty of time to decide what he was going to say; how he was going to ask Souji the hundreds of questions that he had. And the hour nap he took on the way there didn't hurt either. He stepped off the train, still half-groggy, and glanced at the GPS on his phone. It wasn't far from here; about a mile's walk, which was completely fine. It was a nice day, and besides, Yosuke had missed being in the city for a long time now.

Walking through crowded streets was kind of fun. People kind of pushed and elbowed, but it was par for the course when everyone had somewhere to be. The sounds of cars and bustle made him smile a little bit more as he turned the corner to the street Souji's house was on.

Almost there, he thought, feeling his heart skip a little, and his pace followed. He was practically speedwalking when he walked down the empty back street, toward the building, practically jogging when he got into the elevator, and practically running when he stepped off on the proper floor. The walk from the elevator to the apartment Souji's parents lived in felt like it took a year, and the raise of his hand to knock on the door felt like it was happening in slow motion.

The woman who answered looked just like Souji, and Yosuke felt a smile spread across his face at that fact.

"May I help you?" she asked politely, a smile—Souji's smile—spreading across her face.

Yosuke nodded his head. "I hope so. I'm Yosuke. Hanamura. I'm a friend of Souji's from Inaba. He's probably mentioned me," he chuckled.

An inquisitive look crossed Souji's mother's face, and she shook her head no. "I can't say he has, no. He doesn't talk a lot about Inaba, though." She frowned a little bit. "I imagine it has something to do with the fact that the horrible murder case started right after he got there." She looked at Yosuke again, the smile coming back to her face.

Souji hadn't mentioned him? That stung a little bit, but he took a calming breath and nodded his head. "Probably," he said softly. "I was hoping to see him. I haven't seen him since he left, and I have a couple of things I wanted to tell him." The dejection in his voice was probably a little bit obvious, but he couldn't help it.

Arching an eyebrow, Souji's mother leaned against the doorframe. "You haven't seen him? That's strange. He's actually been back to Inaba a couple of times." Her tone was pleasant, but her words felt like a knife.

He'd been to Inaba? He'd been to Inaba, and not bothered to contact anyone. He hadn't bothered to contact Rise... he hadn't bothered to contact Yosuke. Hell, he hadn't even bothered to contact Nanako. They were all missing him, wishing that he'd come back, and he'd come back and not said anything. Yosuke felt a heavy lump choking his throat. He needed to get out of here. Right now.

"I... I need to go," he said softly. "I'm sorry for bothering you."

She stared at him for a second. "Did you want to come inside and wait? Souji should be back home in a couple of hours!" she asked.

For a few seconds, Yosuke considered giving her a message. But instead, he shook his head and practically took off in a run to the elevator. "N-no. No thank you," he spoke, in a voice that was probably too soft for her to hear.

This time, the elevator felt slow for an entirely different reason. All this time, he'd wanted to believe. All this time he'd been fighting to convince himself that his best friend, his partner, the guy he'd essentially fallen in love with, hadn't just dropped them all like bad habits. All this time, he'd been so desperate to hold onto that one little bit of companionship and loyalty, but he'd been wrong.

The lump in his throat choked him a little, and he made a weak sobbing noise, slamming his eyes shut. "Fuck," he whispered, staring at the doors of the elevator as they opened. "Damn it..." he added, pushing off the wall and heading for the front doors of the building.

A man in a hooded sweatshirt and dark sunglasses watched him as he exited the building, but he didn't think anything of it. He needed to get to the train station. He needed to get home. What was he going to tell the others? Did Rise know? Was that why she'd been so insistent when the topic of Souji's phone disconnecting came up? Was that why she took so long giving Yosuke the address? Was she trying to protect me? he asked himself.

The rain pounded down around him, but he couldn't bring himself to move quickly.

Fuck. He was going to start crying right here on the sidewalk. He shook his head, trying push away the tears, at least for now. Sure, the rain would conceal them, but if he started crying right here, there was a chance that Souji could walk by and see him. He doesn't want to see you to begin with... seeing you cry would be worse. Maybe on the train. Maybe he'd cry there.

As he started walking, his phone beeped, and when he opened it, he noticed that he had three new text messages, all of them from Jude. They must have come when he was in the elevator.

Jude Mathis
2:10 p.m. > rise, teddie and i are going to okina after rise finishes up at the shop for the day. we're gonna take the bus, since i don't have a scooter yet.
2:11 p.m. > we're gonna see a movie. that new one you mentioned wanting to see is playing... dumminator 3, i think? teddie won't stop talking about it, and he practically begged rise to come until she agreed, lol.
2:13 p.m. > do you wanna come with?

After staring at the screen for a few seconds, he let out a bitter laugh. They were probably already there. Or Jude was waiting for him to answer. Jude. He snorted a bitter laugh. All this time, he'd been resisting becoming friends with the guy, on the assumption that the betrayal would upset Souji. On the assumption that Souji would be hurt. On the assumption that Souji missed them at all. But it was stupidly misplaced loyalty. Loyalty to someone who had given up on them at some point. And Jude... Jude had been great to him through it. He wondered if there was any way the guy could have known. Could he have possibly known that Yosuke's resistance had something to do with an obviously one-sided loyalty?

Damn it, he thought as he stared blankly at his phone. How could I have been so stupid?

Rise knew where he was, and he could see her telling Jude not to text Yosuke. He could see the look on her face when she told Jude that Yosuke wasn't likely to be in a great mood today. And what was worse... he could see the look on Jude's face when she told him. His eyes probably turned downward, his lips curved into a frown and his posture made a subtle little change... I bet he looked like a dejected puppy.

For the first time since he'd met the guy, he allowed those feelings to take the reins. Maybe time with his friends would distract him. Maybe they could keep his mind off of this disaster, at least until he got home. And then he'd have the Midnight Channel to distract him. The less time to think about it, the better. Definitely. Or maybe this was just his stupid idea of vengeance. Getting back at Souji for hurting him, by doing what he used to think was a betrayal. Whatever it was, it didn't matter. He breathed a sigh, before typing his response.

Yosuke Hanamura
2:25 p.m. > d3 already? seems like 2 only came out yesterday. u bet i wanna go.
2:26 p.m. > ill b home in abt 2 hrs. gotta stop off @ home n change tho. the rain is soakin me. meet u @ 6 @ rises?

Honestly, though... just thinking about spending time with his friends made him feel a little bit better. Obviously, he wasn't feeling great. He was still miserable, and it would probably be obvious to Ted, Rise and Jude as soon as they saw him. He was sure of it. But at least he'd be distracted. Things would be okay. "They'll understand. Stop worrying," he said as he put his phone in his pocket.

"Don't worry, Hanamura." Yosuke heard a voice from behind him, and turned to see who was talking.

The only person there was the person he'd seen in front of Souji's building. The man in the hoodie and sunglasses. There was something familiar about his posture and his voice, but Yosuke couldn't quite put his finger on it. He stared for a second, tilting his head to try and get a better look beneath the hood. But when the person turned and walked away... all he could do was blink after him. He stood there dumbstruck, watching the hooded person walk a few steps away, before turning to leave himself.

He made it a few more steps before he heard it again.

"I mean it, don't worry." The voice was closer this time; right behind him. From this close, he could hear an electronic tone to it; like someone was altering their voice somehow so that he couldn't identify them. He could feel the warmth of someone's breath on the crook of his neck and shoulder, and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. As he stood paralyzed, unable—or maybe afraid—to move, he realized that the streets were almost completely empty. No one would even see what was happening. No one could help. Before he could even move to run or turn around, or run, or anything, he heard a hollow, wooden clunk, and immediately felt a blinding pain in the back of his head. "I'm taking care of him now," they continued.

Yosuke was on his hands and knees on the pavement, his head throbbing as he tried to cling to consciousness. He blinked twice and tried to stand up, but his consciousness was already betraying him. "Haha, he was right," he heard the voice say, accompanied by a kick to his side, and another blinding pain, this time in his ribs. He hit the ground like a rock, and the next thing he knew, his assailant was dragging him, half-conscious, into a nearby alley. "This is pretty fun to watch. C'mon, fight a little longer. Amuse me!"

As his awareness sifted away, though, he heard the voice chide him. "Aw, disappointing," he said, another sadistic, robotic laugh escaping. The last thing Yosuke remembered seeing was the shadow of the hooded form fading away, the sun a blindingly bright backdrop to his consciousness fading.

*

He woke up some time later, laying on his stomach on a cold, hard floor. Hoisting himself to his hands and knees, he let his head hang loose for a second, trying to ignore the pain in his side. What the hell happened...? he asked, trying to raise his head. As soon as he moved, though, a crippling pain shot through his head, taking him off guard and making his arms give out beneath him. D-damn it... he thought.

The last thing he remembered was that robotic voice... the pain in his head... Wh-where am I? he asked as he pulled himself back up to his hands and knees, then just onto his knees.

Finally, he lifted his head and opened his eyes, but he almost immediately regretted it, because the bright yellow of the area around him made his head swim. He blinked hard and looked around, and it didn't take long for him to realize exactly where he was. The yellow and red, the fog...

"I'm inside the TV..." he said softly.

His head throbbed as he pulled himself to his feet. At first, he wasn't exactly stable and he almost fell right back down, but he kept himself standing. He couldn't stand straight; the pain in his ribs saw to that. He looked around erratically for something to lean against, posture hunched and almost his whole body aching, but when he didn't see anything, he slowly lowered himself back to the ground to sit. He couldn't walk around like this. Breathing hurt a little bit and every movement made his already-aching head ache even more.

With one hand on his head, his fingers rubbing at his eyes, he tried to remember exactly what that robotic voice said. Was there anything in what they'd said to tell him who they were? I'm taking care of him now, sprang to mind. Taking care of him. What did that mean? Who were they taking care of?

Souji? he asked himself. Well then... who was it? Who was the person?

Before he could think too much more about that, he reached into his pocket for his TV glasses. Ever since Jude appeared on the Midnight Channel, ever since the case had restarted, he'd taken to carrying them around everywhere with him. He pulled them out of his pocket and looked them over, hoping more than anything that they hadn't broken. One piece. Jesus that's lucky, he thought as he slid them over his eyes and blinked hard.

Seeing clearer almost made his head hurt worse, but if any shadows came, he needed to be prepared. He was already at a disadvantage, without his knives, but he wasn't a slouch in a fistfight, either. He wasn't Chie or Kanji—or apparently Jude (No, Yosuke, don't think about him right now...)—but he could hold his own.

What was he supposed to do? There were no shadows in his immediate vicinity... but there was nothing else either. And the last thing he wanted to do was wander. If the others came after him, he needed to be in the same place, right? But would they even know he was gone? If he already had his persona, would he even appear on the...

The Midnight Channel! Yosuke blinked and chewed on his lip. Was that person he saw on there last night... was that him?

How long had he been here? He fumbled in his pocket for his phone—he was sure there was no reception, but at least he'd be able to see the time, right?—and flipped it open. But it was completely blank. "Damn it..." he muttered. "This is my fault." And it was. If he'd just taken Rise's advice. If he'd just listened when everyone told him to move on... he wouldn't be here. But he was too stubborn. Too stupidly loyal to Souji. "What was I thinking?" His voice was quiet, but it still echoed in the empty space around him like he'd shouted off the edge of a canyon.

"Isn't it obvious?" A voice called out behind him. A familiar voice. A very familiar voice.

… his own voice. "No..." he whispered as he turned slowly, catching sight of a face that he wished he would never see again.

It was his face... but it wasn't. The eyes were yellow and the smile was just... evil. There was no other word for it. But... but it wasn't possible. Was it? He had his persona! He'd already accepted his weakness, and... "You're not real. You can't be." His voice was desperate, and once again, it echoed, despite how quietly he'd spoken. The echoes rang in his head like a gong, and he almost collapsed.

The shadow chuckled softly. "Can't I be?" It asked. "Well, if I wasn't real, would I be able to do this?"

Without another word, the shadow raised its fingers and snapped, and almost like a fading illusion, the floor beneath his feet changed into tiles... cracked and chipped, but familiar. Junes... he thought as he raised his head again. Like they were always there, the walls of the Junes electronics department appeared around them.

An idea popped into his swirling head, and Yosuke hurried as fast as his broken body would take him, up to one of the TVs, planning to go through. But when his hand hit it... he quickly realized that it was cardboard.

The shadow laughed loudly, a sound that reverberated in his sore head and made him fall to his knees, holding his forehead in his hand and trying desperately to keep the tears back. God damn it. "Nice try, Hana-chan," the shadow taunted. "But you think you'd be smart enough to put actual TVs here?" He paused, snapping his fingers in a 'drat' motion—and causing another aching reverberation in Yosuke's head—before adding, "and even if they were real, you don't have your persona anymore. You wouldn't be able to leave through them. I can't believe you didn't know that." Another pause. "Oh wait. Yes I can. It is you we're talking about here. Or should I say me?"

In a pinch of desperation, Yosuke tried summoning his persona, but when absolutely nothing happened, he just cowered on the floor again, trying to block out the shadow's words. I won't deny it. I won't... he thought, repeating it over and over again in his mind.

"You can try," the shadow said, as if it was reading his mind. "But you know you're going to. You're a weak idiot, after all."

Yosuke stood again, defiantly. "I accept you. Whatever it is you have to say, I accept you. I know I've got all sorts of problems. So there's nothing you can throw at me that I won't accept." He ignored the dizzying spin of his head and the blinding pain in his ribs, and stood straight, trying desperately to be menacing.

But the shadow just laughed. "You think I'm gonna make it that easy, tough guy?" he asked, watching with a devious little grin as Yosuke's bravado faded. "Good show, though. Really impressed." He crossed his arms and leaned against one of the walls. "I'm not going to say a word until your little friends get here. And you can't accept what you don't know, now can you?" The shadow made a lip-zipping gesture, and grinned even wider.

He wanted to fight. Wanted to make the shadow show its hand, so that he could accept this and it could all be done. But before he could get another word out, he felt his head swimming again. He reached for the wall behind him, trying to keep standing, but it was a futile effort, and he was on his knees on the floor. I'm... Was he dying? His head throbbed, and in the background he heard his shadow laughing, completely amused by the scene. The laughter only served to make the pain stronger... which only served to push him even closer to unconsciousness.

The last thing he remembered before his consciousness faded again was his shadow's smile.

Chapter Text

July 17th, 2012

Even though he was sure that his consciousness faded in and out several times, the next thing Yosuke actively remembered was the sound of a chorus of familiar voices. All of the voices in the room spoke at the same time, but Yosuke could hear each one distinctively. Part of him wondered if this was a side-effect, or maybe a benefit, of being just-barely-conscious. It hurt his head, but he couldn't protest. Even opening his eyes hurt his head, and the sound of the cavalcade of footsteps coming at him made it thrum dizzyingly again. He felt his eyes open, and the light of the twisted Junes around him made him feel like closing them right away. But he didn't. He wanted to see who see who was there. He knew, especially with the familiar sounding squeak of Teddie's footsteps, but he wanted to see them.

The first face to come into focus was Jude's. He had run beyond the rest of the group and fallen hard to his knees next to Yosuke. He hesitated, though, as he looked Yosuke over, and bit his lip.

"He's alive. His eyes are open," Jude said. There was panic in his voice, but he spoke clearly. The rest of the group slowly came into focus behind Jude, and Yosuke tried to smile at them. "But there's dried blood in his hair. I'm not..." Before he continued, before another word came out, he heard the familiar sound of a persona being summoned.

The healing spell helped a little. The lights and sounds didn't make Yosuke's eyes hurt quite as badly, and he could breathe without wanting to die. Maybe he could talk now. "Th... thanks..." he said weakly.

Jude breathed a shaky sigh of relief and wet his lips. "Don't thank me," he said quietly. "You don't have to." He held his arm out. "Do you... do you think you can stand? We'll get you out of here. I'll support you."

Yosuke looked at Jude with a half-smile on his face. Had he always been this kind? "I think so..." he said as he reached out to grab Jude's arm.

Rise spoke next, though. "Wait..." she said. Her voice was very obviously shaken. Why? Was it because going through his twisted version of Junes had been taxing? Or was it something else? "Something doesn't feel right." She looked around. "There's something else in here. It's powerful. Dangerous."

It was simultaneous. Yosuke remembered exactly what Rise was talking about at the exact same time the shadow's voice rang throughout the room. The laugh echoed, and Yosuke couldn't help but reach his hands out to grab his head again. It was loud. The healing spell only did so much.

"Y-Yosuke-senpai's shadow..." Naoto's voice pierced through the laughter, and somehow it hurt more.

Not physically... but having them all know that his shadow came out just from the time he'd spent in here? It hurt. A lot. That was the shadow's goal, though. He remembered it taunting him, telling him that it was going to wait for them to get here. Now, he didn't know if he'd be able to take what was coming. That was a part of the plan too, wasn't it? He knew that he was weak. Admitting it alone, with no one but his shadow, his other self, to hear it was one thing. But having his friends hear it was another.

The shadow stood in place a few feet away, his arms crossed and that same smirk on his face as he surveyed the scene. "Didn't think it would take you this long to get here," he mused, looking over the group.

Before Yosuke even knew what was happening, the group of them stood like a wall between he and his shadow, a protective barrier to keep it from hurting him. "What did you do to him?" Jude raged at the being, and from Yosuke's position on the floor, he could see his new friend's hands balled into fists at his sides.

With a laugh, the shadow shrugged. "Me? Nothing," it said seriously. "You're gonna want to look at your own world for that one." He paced left and right in a four foot line.

Rise looked back at him, shock and apology on her face. He could see the question was this Souji?! on her face. Yosuke wanted to give her a no answer, but he didn't know. He didn't know anything. The only thing he did know was that the person claimed that it was their job to protect Souji now. He bit his lip in lieu of any kind of answer.

"If you could all get out of the way and let me have a word with myself there? That'd be swell," the shadow said, waving his friends away with a flick of his wrist.

Kanji laughed and shook his head no. "Dream on, fake." He stood his ground, his fists clenched.

Yosuke pushed himself into a sitting position. He needed to do this. The shadow needed to say what it was going to say, and he needed to accept it. So he could get his persona back. His head throbbed. His body ached. But he needed to do it. "I-it's okay, guys..." he muttered. "I need to." Before he could blink, he saw a hand reaching down to help him up, and he was surprised to see that it was Jude's hand. He accepted it and took the support to get into a standing position.

The shadow smiled like it had a trump card, and Yosuke suddenly felt dread in the pit of his stomach. Was this strength, this certainty, this bravado, a mistake?

"You betcha," it said in a confident voice. The shadow was reading his mind. His stomach churned, and that made his ribs hurt even more. "Our friend here," he said, turning to the rest of the group, "was wondering if I had a trump card, you see. I do, of course." It took a couple of steps toward Yosuke, and Yosuke felt the air shift behind him as all of his friends moved defensively.

With a thoughtful hum, the shadow looked up at the ceiling. "Where do I begin with us, Yosuke?" The shadow sighed. "It's been a long line of failing, our life, hasn't it? Failing to make friends at school, failing history all the time, failing to understand that Souji stopped caring... so much failure. Way too much to list off in the time you have left to live," it chuckled cruelly.

It tapped its finger against its lips and turned to look at the rest of the group. "See, our favorite little failure here has been failing twice as hard lately." He scanned the group, then stopped on Rise. "You know where he was today, don't you?" The shadow nodded his head. "He just couldn't let Souji go. Pathetic little Hana-chan couldn't stand being cast aside by someone so much better than him. Someone so much cooler. Someone so much better looking."

Oh. Oh god. Yosuke knew where this was going now. His eyes widened.

"You see where I'm going with this, don't you, me?" The shadow pointed a finger at Yosuke, and then his attention turned to Jude.

Yosuke shook his head. "No..." he whispered.

The shadow smirked. "You don't? Maybe I should spell it out for you then, hm?" It folded its hands, and then opened its mouth to speak again.

"D-don't..." Yosuke's voice was weak.

The shadow leaned in close to Yosuke. "You know how to make it stop, Hana-chan," it taunted. It stood back up straight, then looked back at the group. "You see, my plan to go to the city today was definitely partially because of Souji. I needed to see him, because I'm obviously crazy and refuse to believe that he gave up on us. Right? I'm so freakin' insane that I wouldn't be able to move on with my life until I knew for sure. Not that I'll be able to do it anyway, because I'm such useless dead weight. But there's more to it than that." The shadow's gaze was still fixed on Jude.

This wasn't happening. Yosuke didn't even know what his own feelings were. He knew as much about Jude as he did about particle physics or something. How could he like someone he didn't even know? And his friends... his friends didn't even know that he was interested in guys. All the hell he'd given Kanji over something that turned out not to even be true... how were they going to take hearing this? Panic rose and the increase in blood-flow made Yosuke dizzy again. "Please..." He knew begging was useless. Shadows were sadistic like that. But he had to try. He had to make this stop.

"You." His shadow was talking to Jude. "You're a problem." It brushed past Yosuke, and the shift in the air around him made him stumble. If not for the support of Naoto's hands, he probably would have fallen. "The way you always look at me? The way I can't help but look at you? You're such a problem."

Yosuke couldn't let this happen. He couldn't let the shadow reveal things that he didn't even know were true yet. He slammed his eyes shut and ignored the dizzy feeling. "No!" he shouted.

The shadow laughed again. "He's not? You don't think taking our focus the way he does is a problem?" After a taunting expression in Yosuke's attention, it started to hum the tune to 'Hey Jude,' and then turned its attention back to Jude. Jude's expression was inquisitive, and still a little bit defensive with the shadow right in front of his face. "It almost feels like we're... fixated."

"Don't!" Yosuke cried out. "You can't! You're-"

Before he could continue, Naoto was behind him, still helping to keep him standing, and she interrupted him. "Senpai, don't..." she insisted. "Don't let it make you deny it!" Her voice was sure, confident. Even with everything the shadow had said.

Yosuke stuttered. "But..." But it wasn't like this was just another confession! This was a confession that was... it was just... he'd denied exactly this so many times. It had been when he kissed Souji, that he realized that maybe the reason he was so adamant to deny, so quick to tease Kanji, was because he secretly knew that he was interested in other guys deep down. But the shadow saying that... admitting that the shadow was kind of right? That he was maybe interested in guys, a little more than he was interested in girls? And that maybe his fixation on Jude wasn't quite the interest of someone intrigued by the new guy in town? He didn't want to do that. Not here. Not in front of everyone.

The next person to speak up was the last person he expected. "It don't matter what the shadow says," Kanji reassured him. "Yeah, it's a lot. It's surprising, but you're still our friend, Yosuke-senpai. Don't let your shadow give you shit." His voice was serious. The one he'd been so tough on for this very thing was supporting him. He was almost ready. Almost. There was still panic coursing through him, especially considering the person his shadow was staring at right now.

Jude turned from the shadow and looked at Yosuke. "It's okay," he reassured. "It doesn't matter what the shadow says. It doesn't matter how much truth there is to it. You're still you, and there's more to you than what it's saying. I don't know you that well, but I know that you're so loyal, so trusting, that you were willing to put all of your belief in Souji." The mention of Souji's name made Yosuke cringe, and the shadow smirk, but Jude didn't stop talking. "And it's a good thing! That loyalty is good. The willingness to believe in someone so fully is really admirable. The kind of bond you guys have... all of you," he paused, turning to look at the rest of the group, then back at Yosuke, "is almost like a magnet. I was drawn to it, even though I don't usually talk to new people." He gave Yosuke a gentle smile. "I figure that kind of loyalty is what gave you the determination to stand beside him."

Pausing, he added, "And whatever it has to say about me? We can talk about later. Without the shadow's presence. I promise, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to judge you." Jude's face was genuine, but Yosuke was almost positive that he would have to explain later. Still, that last bit of support bolstered him... and he stood on his own again.

It did matter. It mattered a lot. But he knew what he needed to do, and Jude was right. "Fine." Yosuke's voice was still shaky, but he steeled himself... for real this time.

The shadow turned to look at him, the irritation fading to that blank expression a shadow always got when it was about to be accepted. Was that what would happen? Was that what happened if someone accepted their shadow before it went berserk? But then why hadn't it done this before? Before he'd said that he was going to accept what the shadow said, and it just taunted him more. Maybe it was different now, because there was intent behind it. Because there wasn't the false determination of someone who was trying to shut out a taunting outside voice. This was real.

Swallowing thickly, he nodded his head, hobbling over to stand between his shadow and Jude. "You're right," he said to the shadow. "You're right about me. The whole reason I was so hesitant to accept Jude, to be open with him the way everyone else is... is because of Souji. I didn't want to betray him. And yeah, I was stupid enough to think that he still held the same kind of loyalty toward us. I didn't believe what anyone said about him turning his back on us. Or maybe it was that I didn't want to believe it." He held his hand over his ribs, and straightened himself up. He felt Jude's hand on his back, helping him stand straight, and he couldn't fight the little lip-quirk that followed.

"And maybe there is something about him," he said, pointing his opposite hand over his shoulder at Jude. "But... but I don't know what it is." That was the honest truth. "It's probably a little idiotic that it took this much to make it happen, but now that I know the truth about Souji? Now that I know that everyone was right? I won't hold back anymore. I'll be his friend." And find out exactly what it is, went unsaid, but he figured it didn't need to be.

He stared the shadow down. "I know you're me. So, can I just have my persona back?" Maybe not the most conventional acceptance, but it was what it was.

As soon as he finished speaking, he felt a familiar presence around him. Wind, support and comfort. But this time, it was stronger. He blinked. The strength of the support was almost overwhelming. It felt like Susano-O, but it didn't. When he opened his eyes again, his shadow was gone. Apparently, what he'd said was good enough.

Rise was the next one to speak. "Y-Yosuke-senpai... your persona looks... it looks different..." she said. "Is it still the same?" She stared at the presence, then looked back at Yosuke when his persona faded again.

He shook his head no. "It's... it's stronger," he admitted. "I'm not sure what's different about it. It..." he paused, then chewed on his lip. "It's definitely stronger." He pressed his lips together. "Takehaya Susano-O." The words escaped before he even knew what they meant. Something in his mind just told him... that was what was different. His persona had grown. Matured. "H-how did that happen? I just showed... I'm weak enough to have to accept my shadow twice..."

Jude shrugged and stepped around him. "I kind of figured that weakness never really goes away." He pushed some of his hair back from his face. "I think, having to accept it twice makes you even stronger. Which would naturally make your persona stronger, too." A smile spread across his face; the smile almost looked like it was filled with admiration, but Yosuke didn't know why.

Naoto nodded her agreement. "It takes strength to accept your weakness once. But to have to come up against it when you already thought you had gotten past it? If you ask me, that's greater strength." She paused, then added, "and the greatest strength of all is the realization that it can always come back. No matter how strong you are." Her voice sounded impressed, too.

They seemed convinced that he had some kind of hidden strength that they lacked, but honestly, Yosuke didn't know how that was possible. They all believed what they were saying. That accepting his weakness twice made him that much stronger. But the fact that he even had to made him feel even weaker. Strength in weakness? he asked himself. Does that make any sense? The thought made his head pound again, and he winced and closed his eyes. "Let's just..." he blinked twice, and then opened his eyes again. "Let's just get out of here."

Jude stepped up beside him. "Put your arm around me," he offered. "We'll get you out of here and take you to the hospital."

The hospital? Yeah, that was probably a good idea. He raised his arm and put it around Jude's shoulders, wincing at the pain in his ribs when he did.

Teddie's persona brought them back to the entrance of his twisted Junes, and that was when the exhaustion set in. He knew that they weren't completely safe; they were never completely safe inside of the TV, after all. But being with his friends, the people that he knew would never let anything happen to him, made him feel slightly more at ease.

He turned to look at Jude; he didn't turn too far, though. They'd be too close, then. But he wanted to look at him when he said this. Everyone else was a little bit ahead of them, which made it a lot easier. No one else would hear if he spoke quietly enough, and Jude was close enough to hear him, no matter how quietly he spoke.

"Hey," he said as they started to walk back toward the central entrance. He didn't even know how far it was, honestly. "Thanks. For what you said back there, I mean." Admittedly, being so close to Jude wasn't making it easy to figure out exactly what his interest was, because his senses were a little bit muddled. But he needed to thank him. He might not have been able to accept his shadow without that last bit of encouragement.

Jude smiled and shook his head no. "Don't mention it," he offered. "I meant it. It doesn't matter, what it said. And we can talk about it after you've had some time to rest. After the doctors have had a chance to look you over."

Yosuke smirked. "But aren't you a doctor?" he asked.

Laughing, Jude shook his head no. "Real doctors. You look like you hit your head and by the way you're hunched, it looks like something happened to your ribs. When you landed?" he asked. He sounded skeptical, uncertain.

"Uh-uh," Yosuke answered. "Right before I was thrown in here. I think, anyway." Thinking about the sound of the voice and the feel of that breath on his neck made a sheet of goosebumps spread across his arms. "I... whoever it was, they were aggressive."

The sound of Jude's voice was gentle, comforting (but filled with a protective danger), when he said, "we'll get you taken care of. My dad has a couple friends at Inaba Municipal Hospital. When we go in, I'll have my mom see what she can do and get you the best doctor there, okay? It's a small gesture, I know, but..."

Cutting him off, Yosuke shook his head no. "It's not a small gesture," he insisted. "Thanks, Jude." Chuckling, he added, "You really are a nice guy."

Jude didn't respond, just looked down at the ground in front of them and flushed pink in the cheeks. A nice guy. He found himself wondering how Jude ever had trouble making friends. The rest of the walk back to the exit was quiet, aside from the quiet voices of their teammates just ahead of them, and Yosuke found his mind wandering back to before he'd been dropped in here. When the robotic voiced guy attacked him. They were trying to protect Souji? What did that mean? He felt like, maybe, it was something important, but his head was still swirling way too much for him to make anything of it right now.

Maybe later. Maybe after he'd had some rest.

Chapter Text

July 28th, 2012

As soon as Yosuke got home from the hospital, his parents had practically ordered him to take the summer off; to stay home until summer vacation and to stay away from Junes until school started again. Having to lie to them was tough, but he'd ended up telling them that he got mugged when he went shopping out of town. They were furious at him for taking off and going to the city without telling them, of course, but the fury was eclipsed by their gratitude that he was okay. They were especially grateful to Jude, who had been true to his word and ensured that Yosuke had the best doctor on staff. He'd had to come in from home, and he was probably not too happy with Yosuke (especially if the way he'd poked and prodded when he'd taken blood was any indication). It worked out, though. By the time he left the hospital that night, with Jude's mother driving him home, he already felt better. Most of it had probably been because of the mass of painkillers coursing their way through his system, but he remembered almost drifting off in the car twice.

The police showed up the next day to talk to him, ask him who had assaulted him, and for any details he could come up with to help them identify them. At the time, he'd felt a bit of vengeful fury coursing through his system, tempting him to mention Souji and the protective role that his assailant took. But really, did he know that the robo-guy had been talking about Souji, beyond his instinct? It wasn't loyalty that made him keep quiet. This time it was a little bit of Naoto's detective instinct, rubbed off on him. Between that omission and the one about the TV world, there was almost nothing at all for the police to work with... and it seemed like they were taking it out on Yosuke.

When the police left, he heard them whispering something about a cry for attention. It took all he had not to laugh, but he'd refrained.

Honestly, the time alone had given him a chance to catch up on all the sleep he'd been missing. The half-closure with Souji (it wasn't full closure, obviously, because he still hadn't talked to him or heard anything besides what robo-voice had said) lifted some of the weight off his shoulders, and the whole first day that he was home, he slept. Teddie went to stay with Jude for the night, so Yosuke could really sleep, and that was all he did. Eight p.m. to ten a.m., he slept without waking, and he awoke feeling a lot better, in spite of the pain still lingering in his head and ribs.

His friends visited him every day, too. Sometimes, they came all together. The room was lively and exciting then. Sometimes, they came in smaller groups. The girls came together sometimes, the guys came together sometimes, and sometimes they mixed and matched. Sometimes, they visited in pairs. There were even times when they visited alone. He wasn't alone much, and it was a really comforting concept.

Jude came to visit him almost every day. Even when he came with the others, he always stayed behind, keeping Yosuke company until Teddie or his parents got home. Some days, he pretended to be bringing homework over, but then he ended up staying for a couple of extra hours. Some days, though... some days he didn't pretend that he was coming for any reason at all. When he was by himself, they spent a lot of time talking, or sometimes they played video games—Jude had never actually played a video game before; his father wouldn't allow it, he said... but he took to Mario Kart like a professional, and by the end of the second time playing, he was already better than Yosuke—and some days, they went for walks.

This was one of those days.

Summer vacation had started yesterday, and everyone had stopped by right after Yosuke woke up in the morning. After they left, early in the afternoon, Jude stayed behind again. The house was quiet, and Jude was cleaning the living room from the remnants of their lunch. Honestly, it was no wonder his parents liked Jude as much as they did. He was polite, and he always cleaned up after himself when he visited. He stood over the sink, washing the last of the dishes, and Yosuke walked into the room behind him.

He didn't say anything at first, instead opting to watch him for a second. He was focused, almost singularly, on the dish in front of him, and Yosuke couldn't help but contemplate what his shadow said. Fixation. Was it a fixation? Yeah, there was the fact that every time they were in a room together, Yosuke's eyes were drawn to him. And there was the fact that he found himself trying to actually learn to play 'Hey Jude' when he felt like playing his guitar. From time to time, he also found his thoughts drifting, thinking about various different things about Jude. Jude was interesting, he was nice and he was attractive. Was it so strange to be interested? Does that automatically mean that I'm fixated?

It said a lot about Jude, too, that he was still willing to hang around with Yosuke like this after all that his shadow had said. After all that he'd admitted. He was a better person than Yosuke, that much was for sure.

That settled it. He'd put off having that 'talk' they'd mentioned inside of the TV for awhile. Jude never asked, and Yosuke never brought it up himself, either. Maybe his reasons were selfish, but he couldn't bring himself to broach a topic like that. It was still embarrassing. He'd accepted it, yeah, but that didn't mean that he wanted to talk about it openly yet. Jude must have understood. If he didn't, he would've brought it up on his own, right?

"Let's take a walk," he suggested, leaning against the counter and ignoring the thrum of pain in his ribs when he did. His head felt better; the concussion had mostly faded, and he only really felt it when he turned too sharply. But his ribs definitely ached. He kept them taped most of the time, but when he turned or leaned the wrong way, he couldn't ignore the way they hurt. Fortunately, it didn't last long.

Jude turned and looked over his shoulder. "Okay," he said, but then turned around and went back to washing the plate in the sink. "Just let me finish the dishes and—"

Yosuke stepped forward and put his hand on Jude's shoulder. "Stop trying to suck up to my parents and come for a walk with me," he said with a wink, and a grin crossing his face.

A flash of pink crossed Jude's cheeks and he reached for the hand towel next to the sink. "R-right..." he murmured.

Moments like that definitely made him understand what his shadow meant. He was actually the most attractive when he was shy. In those moments when Yosuke caught him off-guard, and he looked away with pink cheeks, fixation definitely felt like the right word. It felt like a magnetic attraction, kind of like the one Jude had described feeling for the group of them, only different.

Not like Souji. The thought wasn't out of loyalty quite as much anymore, no. Admittedly, there was a tiny bit of loyalty laced in there; Souji may not want to be around them anymore, but he had still given Yosuke one of the best years of his life, romantic or not. But this time... this time it was a different worry. Rejection, he thought. Literally every person he found himself interested in dating rejected him in one way or another. Saki-senpai hated him before she'd passed away, and Souji... that wound was still too raw to pick open by thinking about it. Rejection was a big fear of his. Rejection from friends, rejection from people he was falling for... it always hurt. A little bit more every time.

Is it really a good idea to talk to him about this? he asked himself. Another rejection would really kill him.

He didn't get much more of a chance to think about it, though, because Jude was looking at him, a shy little smile on his face. "Ready to go?" he asked, nodding his head toward the door.

Yosuke nodded and slipped his shoes on when he got to the door. He waited for Jude to follow suit, then opened the door for him. As soon as the summer sun hit them, a smile spread across Yosuke's face. He loved summertime. Not only because it was a break from school, although that was a nice bonus. It was the warm air, the fact that everyone was outside and enjoying the weather, and the fact that it was just a time to have fun with the people who mattered to you. Like this. Walking with Jude. Honestly, he had no idea which direction they were headed. He didn't even know which one of them was leading the other. They were just walking without an aim, and Yosuke found himself thinking that this was better than having a set destination. They just ended up wherever they ended up.

He turned to look at Jude again. "I gotta thank you," he said as they walked along the sidewalk.

Jude looked at him with an inquisitive expression on his face. "Thank me? For what?" He ran a hand through the thick mop of hair on top of his head.

Yosuke didn't even know where to begin answering that. "I don't know. Everything," he chuckled. "For what you said on the other side. For making sure that doctor was the one to look me over. For coming over every day and making sure I haven't really been by myself. For doing the dishes," he joked. The list was longer, but he skipped all those points, and added, "for being patient with me, too." A subtle way of giving him an opening to ask about Yosuke's fixation. Would he take it?

Hands in his pockets, Jude looked down at the ground. "Patient?" he asked.

Was he playing coy? No, it didn't seem like something he'd do. Was it really possible that he didn't realize how much letting Yosuke talk on his own time meant to him? It was a huge deal. When it came to things that made him anxious like that, giving him time and letting him open up on his own terms was crucial. If he was forced, he pushed away. It was as simple as that.

"Yeah. Patient," he confirmed. "Are you telling me that you haven't been curious about what... about what it said?" Jude would get it. He was smart. "About you?"

Yosuke could almost see the light bulb go off in Jude's head. "Oh." He was quiet for a few seconds, then said, "I figured it was less about patience, and more about realizing that what the shadow said was a big deal. Knowing that... you can't force that kind of thing." He chewed on his lip. "I wasn't going to bring it up. I was going to let you."

Laughing, Yosuke nodded his head. That was patience, wasn't it? "I appreciate that."

Before Yosuke could continue, Jude was talking again. "It's no problem. And if you don't feel like talking about it today, don't feel pressured on my behalf," he insisted. "I mean, yeah, I want to know, but you... if you need time? If you need more time? I can wait." Those kind eyes were on him again, and the feeling welling up in Yosuke's chest was... familiar. He'd felt it before. Twice.

He was quiet for a long time while he tried to collect his thoughts. No human being was this patient. No human being was this kind. Or maybe one was. Maybe it wasn't so much that there was something wrong with the people he was interested in... maybe there was something wrong with him. Everyone he cared for either hated him or left him in the dust. Jude was nice. He was as nice as Souji or Saki-senpai... maybe a little bit nicer. If nice people like those two thought he was a waste of space, what kind of secret thoughts were in Jude's mind about him?

That... that was probably a good thing to know beforehand. "Can I ask you a question?" Yosuke asked, turning his gaze toward Jude.

Jude nodded his head. "Yeah, sure." He wasn't secretive. Or maybe he was. Yosuke hadn't even asked yet.

"I, um..." Yosuke started to speak, but he froze up.

How did you even ask someone this? Do you like guys? seemed too nonchalant. It was a personal topic. Nothing really seemed to fit. Everything seemed too invasive or too casual... too something. Maybe there wasn't a perfect way to ask. Maybe he'd have to settle for just a normal way to ask. Or... or maybe he could just not ask. Ugh, this is stupid, he thought. He turned his eyes away and scanned the area around them. Their directionless meandering had brought them to the flood plain. How was it that everything important that happened to him outside of the TV and Junes, happened here? At least... at least there was no one else here. They took a seat at the gazebo atop the hill, still completely quiet.

He cleared his throat, realizing he'd probably been quiet for more than two minutes. There was that patience again. He turned to look at Jude. "Are you..." he paused. Damn it. "Are you like me?" He pointed at himself. Before Jude could respond, he backtracked a couple of steps, then said, "I mean... before I explain myself, I want to know how awkward I'm going to make this. If we're not... if we're listening to different songs here, then I don't want to make it any worse than I already have, you know? But if we're...if you're..." he bit his lip. "I sound so stupid right now."

Jude pressed his lips together and looked at Yosuke for a second, before saying, "Kind of," in a very quiet voice. He waited a second before adding, "I, um... I'm not interested in girls at all, though." He turned his gaze down to the river, his expression shy.

"Oh," Yosuke said. Well that put an interesting spin on all of this. "O-okay. How long? Have you known, I mean. About yourself. In this sense." God, he sounded so stupid right now.

The question took Jude off guard, the expression on his face said that as plain as day. Once the shock wore off, though, be looked at the sky in thought. "Um..." he paused. "I think... I think the realization started in eighth grade. I'd had a couple of those stupid little elementary and middle school girlfriends, you know... the ones that last about two weeks, you write each other notes and kiss under the slide and all that. But in eighth grade, my friend Leia invited me to her first boy-girl party." He pressed his lips together and sighed, turning his attention to Yosuke. "It was a prank that made it happen, honestly. We played seven minutes in heaven, and one of the more popular girls who essentially took charge of the party games paired me with a boy. One of the soccer players." He played with his lower lip between his teeth and looked at the sky again. "They shoved us in the closet, and I was literally ready to just sit there for seven minutes and do nothing. But he grabbed me and kissed me."

Yosuke blinked. "Whoa," he said softly.

He laughed bitterly. "Yeah." He shrugged, looking down at the grass in front of them. "It didn't go so well after that, though. He grabbed me by the shirt and shoved me against the wall, threatening me if I ever told anyone. He told me he'd kill me, and made some other generic threats that I don't think he meant in retrospect, but then it seemed like he meant every word. Scared eighth grader, you know." After pressing his lips together for a moment, he continued. "Somehow, though, it got around school that I kissed him." He was quiet for a couple of seconds. "You can imagine how well that went over."

Without thinking about it, Yosuke reached over and put his hand on Jude's shoulder. Jude turned to look at him, a weak smile crossing his face, before he took a breath and started talking again.

"The more I was teased, the more I thought about it, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that... that I actually liked it." He dashed his tongue out to wet his lips and shrugged a shoulder. "I was kind of horrified with myself at first, if I'm being completely honest." He shrugged. "All I knew about guys... gay guys... was what I head from my dad. That they were shames on their families and should all be forced into camps or something. It kind of meant that I could never tell my parents. They still don't know. And I tried dating girls once in awhile, too. I went out on a couple of dates with a girl named Milla... she was a friend of Leia's, and a couple of years older than me... but it just... it never panned out. There was another girl, too... Vera... but that one went even worse, and a couple of other unmemorable ones, too. And that was when I realized that I was gay. That it was only guys. So... so it was bad. But it wasn't all bad." He chuckled softly.

The silence that followed loomed in the air for a long time. Honestly, he hadn't expected that kind of an answer. He hadn't expected that much open honesty, not that it bothered him. Hearing a little elaboration on what Jude's shadow had taunted him with was both good and difficult to hear. He'd been through a lot. And because of his stupid pride and misplaced loyalty, Yosuke had almost become another thing on that list.

Jude looked like he was trying to decide whether to say something or not, and Yosuke let his hand fall back to his side, but kept his eyes on Jude, urging him on. If Jude was being honest, Yosuke could too.

"What about you?" Jude asked. "I mean... when did you realize? That you liked guys, too?"

A single, bitter laugh escaped, and Yosuke pressed his lips together. "Not that long ago. About a year," he explained. He owed Jude a similar explanation, but it wasn't even close to as long as his had been. "You're close enough with the group of us to know who Souji is." It was a statement, not a question. Jude was too observant not to know. "He and I were really close. Best friends didn't feel quite right when it came to describing it, you know? Partners. Peas in a pod. All that other crap people say in the movies." Talking about it made that hole in his heart ache a little bit, but he kept going. It must have been this hard for Jude to talk about his stuff, too. Yosuke owed it to him.

Steeling himself quickly, he took a breath and continued. "Souji was amazing. Is. Was. I don't know." He turned his gaze down to the river. "He was smooth, slick, clever... he was really good at being whatever you needed at the time you needed it, you know? Like a social chameleon. I thought he was the coolest person ever to live. He listened to me when I talked about Saki-senpai... oh. Um... Saki-senpai. A girl that I really, really liked who was..." he winced. "She was the second victim of that murder case last year. This year. Whatever. I thought she liked me, but I found out afterward that she hated me... that she thought I was a pain in the ass, and she was only nice to me because I'm the Junes manager's son. My flirting was annoying to her, and it kind of... it really stung. Finding that out was what made my shadow come out the first time." He laughed in a huff from his chest, and winced from the pain, before continuing.

"Souji was there. He sort of... he always knew just what I needed when I needed it. A fist-fight, a laugh, a shoulder to cry on... a hug..." pausing, Yosuke looked away from Jude before saying, "I kissed him. Right there." He pointed over at a spot on the riverbank. "I thought... 'he's too perfect to be real. I wonder if he'd turn me away.' His lips were soft. Sometimes I think I felt him kiss me back, but he pushed me away and told me that he was with Rise. That he wasn't interested in guys."

He blinked hard and looked at Jude. "Things went back to normal for us after that, for the most part. But all the time, when I talked to him, I couldn't get that kiss out of my head. It made me doubt a lot. Made me question a lot. But it made me realize a lot, too." A sad half-smile crossed his face. "I guess I realized that feelings aren't about gender. They're about finding someone you can connect to, and connecting to them." He turned to look at Jude. "And by picking a gender, I'd be like... I'd be limiting myself, you know? And I'm not a fan of limitations." He sighed. "So... even though it hasn't exactly gone the way I wanted it to? Souji helped me." He shrugged. "It was bad," he repeated what Jude said, "but it wasn't all bad."

A flash of something crossed Jude's face. Jealousy? Yosuke didn't know, but it was definitely something. Just as quickly as it appeared, it went away, though.

"He must be really special to you," he said, his voice quiet. Shy. Like it had been when they first met.

Yosuke nodded his head. "Yeah." Pausing for a second, Yosuke scratched a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the ache that the movement shot through his ribs. "So, listen," he started another explanation. "My shadow wasn't really lying." He didn't know why, but he felt like that was what Jude needed to hear.

Jude tilted his head to the side. "About... what?" he asked.

He felt his face heating up a little. "Since I met you, I've had this... this weird fixation on you." He paused. "Or, maybe fixation isn't the right word. That makes me seem like a creepy stalker, doesn't it?" he asked with a laugh.

With a laugh, Jude nodded his head. "Maybe a little," he smirked.

"It's more like... attraction?" That felt too flowery, but Yosuke wasn't really against flowery words, so... maybe it fit. "When we're in a room together, with all the others, I feel like..."

Before Yosuke could finish, Jude spoke up and said exactly what he was trying to say; "like my eyes are drawn to you." His smile was shy and his face was flushed pink, but he was looking right at Yosuke when he said it. Like he wasn't finishing Yosuke's sentence... like Yosuke had started his. "Right?" he asked.

So he wasn't crazy. "Yeah." He chuckled and looked down at the ground.

But it wasn't that simple. Yosuke was afraid. Of a lot of things. And he still didn't feel really satisfied with how things had gone with Souji. Maybe it was the voice of the guy who'd attacked him ringing in his head, his words about how he was protecting Souji now. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't seen Souji to get the answers he wanted. It was something. And it was holding him back.

"But..." Jude said, like he'd seen it coming. His expression was expectant, but very thinly masking some disappointment. He was trying so hard, but his face was always so earnest... he was so easy to read.

And now Yosuke had to be the bad guy. "I like you. I do." He felt like he needed to lead off with that. "I like you a lot. But right now... I can't." God, he hated saying it. Jude had been so incredible to him since they first met, and here he was, taking all of that, along with the news that they were mutually attracted to each other—that they connected in more than that sense—and potentially throwing it out the window because of a guy who he knew had abandoned them.

Jude nodded his head in understanding. "Not until you feel like you have closure. Right?" How was it that he always did that? He understood Yosuke so well already.

"If you hate me, I understand. If you don't want to be my friend anymore... I get that, too." Those weren't just words, either. He meant them. If Jude decided that it was too much of a dick move, he completely understood that. It was a dick move. Jude had been nothing but amazing, and this was how Yosuke thanked him? By saying 'I like you, but I can't?'

But Jude was shaking his head no, a surprised expression on his face. "No way," he reassured Yosuke with a hand on his hand. A personal gesture, but Yosuke didn't mind at all. "I haven't been hanging around and spending time with you because of some secret desire to get into your pants or something," he said seriously. "I like you, too, but... I also like you."

There was no real distinction between the two terms, but... Yosuke got it. He was more than an attraction. They were friends, too. He got it, because that was exactly how he felt now, too.

Yosuke's next move wasn't calculated at all. With speed that he didn't think he had with his ribs as sore as they were, he closed the distance between the two of them. In a swift motion, and ignoring the pain that came with it, he lifted his hand and placed it on the side of Jude's face. He just needed to know. Like with Souji... he just needed to know how Jude's lips felt. Mixed signals be damned, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. The first touch was chaste. Innocent and quick, like the kind of kiss you'd give to an affectionate family member, except with the addition of a hand on the face. Even that little touch of the lips made Yosuke's breath hitch, though. Jude's lips were as soft as Yosuke had imagined.

He was still sitting close, and before he could move, Jude had leaned forward and kissed him again. This time, the contact was a little bit (okay, a lot) less chaste. Hungry lips pressed together desperately, in an attempt to sate an attraction that had been building for a little over a month in one kiss... because they both knew that nothing was going to come of it—at least not right now. Their mouths opened and their tongues met; his fingers brushed against Jude's cheek, Jude's hand rested on his neck, and the only sounds he could really hear were the two of them breathing.

Okay, Jude had definitely kissed him back.

Yosuke had been trying to sate himself, but when they broke apart... he wasn't even close to sated. His heart drummed in his chest and his pants were definitely a little bit tighter. He chuckled. "I... I don't know why I did that." That was a lie. He knew exactly why.

Jude laughed, and it came out in a breath. "Torture, maybe?" he asked. He knew, without Yosuke even saying it, that it didn't mean that what he'd said before wasn't true. "Or maybe because you were dying to know what it felt like? I know that's why I did it..." he said, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck.

Yosuke chuckled. "Yeah..." he agreed. "That. Pretty much."

A long quiet lingered over them, and he could tell that Jude was thinking. About what, he wondered. But before he could even think to ask, Jude spoke up again. "Come on." He stood up, then waited for Yosuke to join him. "I'll walk you home. Those unfinished dishes are still bothering me," he joked. Or, at least partially.

"You still want..." He still wanted to just hang around? After that? "You still want to hang out?"

Tilting his head to the side, Jude nodded his head. "Yeah, of course." He put one hand in one pocket, and then held the other one down to help Yosuke up.

Yosuke quirked a smile. He reached up and accepted Jude's hand, taking the help to get to his feet and staring at Jude in amazement as his hand fell back to his side after releasing Jude's. He'd just thrown the mother of all mixed signals, and Jude was just going to stick with him, just as friends... like it wasn't a potential wrench in their friendship. Yosuke had gone his whole life thinking that people like this didn't exist. Kind people... truly kind people.

"You're definitely one of a kind, Jude..." he said as they started the walk back to his house. You need to find some way to get closure soon. There's no way a guy like this is going to be available for long...

Chapter Text

July 30th, 2012

Add that to the list of things Yosuke liked most about Jude: when he said things were okay, they were really okay. He'd gone into his confession with the worry that it would ruin their friendship. He'd gone into the kiss with the worry that he'd be rejected, but neither of those things had happened. As a matter of fact, the only real difference between their friendship now and before was every now and again, he caught Jude staring at him. And it wasn't disconcerting in the slightest, especially since he did the same thing when he was confident that Jude wasn't watching. No matter who was with them, they'd make eyes at each other, but they still talked like friends and joked like friends. It was both nice and frustrating at the same time, especially with the way Yosuke found his mind wandering to that kiss when there was nothing going on.

There had been nothing going on a lot lately, too. Yosuke wondered if the Midnight Channel broadcasts had gone back to the once a month standard that they'd been on before.

With everything that had happened, everything that wasn't happening now, there was one thing that the team agreed on: they needed to talk to Souji. Whether he wanted to talk to them or not, he had to know that there was some crazy vigilante wanting to protect him, throwing people into the TV in his name. Naoto pointed out that they didn't know that it had been the same person, the one who threw him into the TV and the one who and Jude into the TV, and she had a point. They didn't know anything about this, and that was what was so infuriating. But that didn't dissuade them. Especially when he'd told the rest of them that Souji hadn't even so much as mentioned them to his parents. The look of hurt on everyone's faces (even Rise's, though he was sure she already knew) said that they all had questions for him.

Even Jude looked furious, even though he didn't know Souji. That fierce protectiveness that Yosuke saw inside the TV when he faced down his shadow flashed across those doe eyes again and Yosuke found himself smiling in spite of everything. A nice guy, flashed into his mind again, and that warm feeling flooded his chest.

At varying times throughout his recovery, he'd kept suggesting that the team go without him. Maybe he wouldn't get his closure that way, but the case was more important than some idiotic loyalty he had on a guy who would never reciprocate his feelings, right? And at this point, he felt like maybe he'd be more of a liability than anything else. He didn't know if he could make it out of the conversation without anger, and he really didn't want to test it.

But, in a display of loyalty that both surprised him and didn't, they refused. "If we're going to do this, we're going to do it together," Chie's tone left absolutely no room to argue, and Yosuke found himself cracking a smile in spite of the situation.

"I agree," Naoto echoed. "We started this whole thing together, and we're not going to go without you, Yosuke-senpai." She stood from where she'd been sitting on one of the stumps along the riverbank. "And of all of us, I think you have the most to ask him about."

He froze. What did she mean? For a split second, Yosuke wondered if Jude had told her about what he'd said before their kiss—not that it mattered or anything, it wasn't like it was a huge, shameful secret—but the thought was dispelled when she elaborated. "The person who attacked you said that he was protecting Souji now, right? Don't you want to know what he meant?" She had a point there, too.

Kanji's upper lip curled. "I got a couple words for that asshole, too," he said angrily. "I'll write 'em on my chair before I bash 'im with it."

Everyone laughed a little bit at that, but Yosuke chewed on his lip and stood up, too, cringing at the pain, but ignoring it. "Alright. You're right," he said. "If we're gonna do this, we should do it together." They did everything else together, right? "But... but if we're gonna do it, we should do it soon. Today, maybe." He looked between the group, at their surprised and slightly incredulous expressions.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Yosuke-kun?" Yukiko asked.

Jude nodded his head. "Yosuke's right," he said, pushing some hair back from his face. "The longer we wait, the more it'll eat away at you guys. I'm sure you all have things you want to ask him, and maybe taking this chance will clear things up. Make the road ahead easier." For a second, Yosuke thought he caught a bit of anxiety on Jude's face. He'd have to ask what the worry was.

Humming thoughtfully, Rise smoothed a hand through her hair and nodded. "Going today would be a good idea. I have some questions, too." She didn't say a lot after that. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that she was just as affected by this as he was. Maybe more. She carried it so strongly with her, and didn't complain at all.

Teddie nodded his head, a surprising flash of maturity crossing his face when he looked at Rise. "If Sensei really did just decide that he doesn't care about us anymore, he needs to look us in the face and say it." In a split second, the maturity turned right back to goofy Teddie, though. "It frazzles my fur to think that he'd be so beary vicious, but we should know."

"We should all call our families and tell them we're going to head to Madomai to go shopping. The bus trip is two hours, so... let's meet at the bus stop in an hour?" It was a little surprising that he was taking the reins on this, especially considering that Naoto had essentially been proclaimed leader. What was more surprising, was the fact that everyone else was following.

Did they trust him again? He couldn't say he was really himself, but he had to admit that he was feeling a lot better since getting out of the TV. But was he ready to lead? You're reading too much into it, he thought. Just because they're following your lead doesn't mean that they miraculously think you're trustworthy again. His attention turned to Rise, who stood up and smiled sadly at him. Honestly, it said a lot that she hadn't hated him after finding out that she'd kissed Souji. Or had she found out? He gave her shoulder a supportive squeeze, and she smiled a little brighter, before turning around to be sure that Teddie was behind her. It was nice, how close the two of them had been lately.

Everyone said their 'see you later's' and split off in different directions. They didn't need to go home to call, no, but he didn't doubt that they needed some time to compose themselves. To ready themselves to face their former leader and ask him exactly why he'd thrown them out like yesterday's trash. Yosuke could use some of that himself.

The pairs that walked off together were equal parts surprising and not. Chie and Yukiko, Rise and Teddie, Naoto and Kanji... all three groups headed in different directions, and none of them headed home. They were all talking in hushed tones, and as much as Yosuke knew that they were a group... he knew that everyone had that one person they were closest to. This spelled that out even clearer.

He turned around.

Still sitting on the same tree stump was Jude, staring out at the water. Yosuke walked toward him, stopping a few steps away before saying, "watch out. You got a little black raincloud coming straight for your head." He smiled slightly, trying to keep the conversation light.

Jude looked up at him and chuckled softly. "And I don't even have my umbrella," he said quietly, and moved to stand up.

Before he could move, though, Yosuke put out a hand to slow him. "Everything alright?" he asked, moving slowly to sit on the stump closest to Jude. "You've got that thousand mile stare, and when we were talking about going to Madomai, you looked really stressed out." His ribs screamed at the constant movement, but he dealt with it. He'd have to re-tape them before the bus trip.

"It's... it's nothing," Jude stumbled, but when Yosuke gave him an incredulous look, he backtracked. "Alright. It's something. But it's asinine. A stupid concern."

Yosuke shrugged a shoulder and made a 'come on' motion with one hand. "Hit me with it. You listen to my stupid concerns all the time, right? What kind of friend would I be if I didn't listen back?" The word friend didn't seem right here, but it was the only true descriptor for what they were. Right?

Giving a weak smile, Jude turned to look away, refusing to meet Yosuke's eye when he spoke. "I'm worried." He'd already said that, but Yosuke didn't rush him. "About Souji." The words were simple, but poignant.

And Yosuke didn't know exactly what they meant. "Worried about Souji?" he asked. What was there to worry about? It was Souji. He may have turned his back on them, and he may have been a lot of things... but he'd never hurt them. Not physically. "He won't hurt us, if that's what you're worried about." His voice was certain.

"No," Jude shook his head. "I'm not worried about that. You all have faith in him, and that's enough for me. I'm just..." He looked away and sighed.

A light bulb went off in Yosuke head, and thought that maybe he realized what Jude was worried about. "We won't," he said seriously. "We won't forget about you. You're on the team now, Jude. You're our friend, and we wouldn't have been able to get through what we've gotten through these past couple months if not for you. You fixed the group, okay? Helped get rid of the dark cloud that losing Souji put over us." He was definitely sure about that. "You're stuck with us, Mathis. No matter what happens, okay? You better get used to it." He winked.

There was an expression on Jude's face that showed that it wasn't everything, and Yosuke realized what the concern really was. Oh. It's me, isn't it? He's worried that he won't get his chance. he asked himself.

"That was part of it," Jude admitted. "But I'm..." He sighed quickly, heavily, and stood up, his back turned to Yosuke. "I know you need to see him. To talk to him. Or else I wouldn't have agreed that going today was a good idea. But I'm worried about what seeing him will do to you." He turned to look at Yosuke and sighed. Well that wasn't the answer he expected. But maybe he should have. Did Jude Mathis ever think of himself? "You're doing better. You don't look tired all the time, and you're smiling and laughing and you're so much stronger now than you were when I met you. I'm worried that..." he stumbled with his words for a second, then crouched down in front of Yosuke. "I'm worried that seeing him will take the smile back away again."

He was close again. Yosuke felt that familiar erratic pattering that his heart always did when Jude was this close, and he gave a lopsided smile. "Oh..." he whispered.

The flood plain wasn't as empty as it was the last time they were here like this, but for the first time since his self-revelation, Yosuke found that he didn't really care. None of the people around them were really paying attention anyway. His eyes fell to Jude's lips again, and he played with his own lower lip in between his teeth. Yeah. He thought about kissing him a lot. And having him close like this, close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of him, was definitely making him think about it again.

As tempting as it was, though, kissing him right now wouldn't be fair at all. It had only been two days. And they'd agreed. They'd agreed that it wasn't a good idea. It should've been easy to remind himself of that, but it wasn't. It really wasn't.

"I wish I could assure that it won't happen," Yosuke admitted, his voice a little softer than usual. "But I can almost guarantee that this will be hard. For a lot of reasons. I won't be alone, though."

Jude turned his head away for a second, glancing at a patch of tall grass a few feet away from them. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. We have your back." When Jude's tongue dashed out to wet his lips, Yosuke couldn't help but stare.

Again, without thinking, he reached down and turned Jude's face toward his. His heart hammered his chest and his stomach twisted again. He was about to lean in to press their lips together when his cell phone beeped in his pocket. He froze, and before he could even gather his thoughts, Jude was standing up, facing away from him again. Damn it, he thought, reaching into his pocket and flipping it open.

Chie ran into his mother in town, and told her about their plans to take the bus into the city. As expected, she gave him the whole 'were you planning on calling me and telling me' speech. It had been tough to convince her to let him go, because 'last time you went to the city, you came back with broken ribs and a concussion,' but once he reminded her that he wasn't going by himself this time, and it would be near impossible for someone to attack the whole group and not be spotted, she agreed to let him go. With a promise to be home before midnight, Yosuke finally hung up the phone. He sighed with frustration, and then turned to glance at Jude, who was just sitting back on the tree stump he'd been sitting at before.

"Sorry about that..." he mumbled. About a lot of things, but mostly about... well, Jude knew what about.

Jude shook his head and smiled. "Don't worry about it. So you got the okay, then?" He put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his feet.

Yosuke nodded. "Yeah. Don't you have to call your folks or something?" He tried to push himself into a standing position, but before he could, his ribs seethed in pain, and he breathed out in a huff and stayed in place.

Before he realized what had happened, Jude was standing in front of him with his hand offered out. "No, they won't care. As long as I don't get killed or arrested, they don't usually care what I do." Most people their age would probably consider that a good thing, but from what Yosuke had heard about Jude's parents, it probably wasn't.

Or get a B, Yosuke thought, remembering what Jude's shadow had said. But he was very careful not to say anything about that. After he accepted Jude's hand and stood, he put his hands in his pockets. He was going to ask about Jude's parents, but today didn't seem like a good day to do that. It was already set to be unpleasant. He didn't need to make it worse. "Let's head to the shopping district. We can grab a skewer while we wait for the others."

*

The bus ride felt both shorter and longer at the same time. There were little bits of conversation being thrown around, which made it feel shorter at times, but when they were quiet, Yosuke's mind wandered. Now that they were on the bus, he didn't know if it was such a good idea to do this. What if Souji was gone or something? Or what if he'd warned his parents about them after Yosuke's visit? What if... what if the man who attacked him was out there again? What if he managed to get to one of the others? There were so many ways this could go wrong, and now Yosuke was cursing himself for not thinking of them before. He leaned his head against the back of the seat and turned it to look out the window.

When he looked back to his left, Jude wasn't the one sitting beside him. It was Naoto.

"Naoto..." he greeted her with a smile. "What's up?" It must have been something important, if she'd traded seats with Jude. A glance at the two seats in front of him told him that Jude was settling in next to Kanji, and the two of them immediately started chit-chatting.

Instead of the worried expression that she'd been giving him lately, she was actually smiling this time. "You look a lot better," she said seriously.

Yosuke looked down at his ribs and nodded. "I still feel a little bit of pain sometimes, and I get a little dizzy when I turn my head too quickly, but the doctors at the hospital and Jude's mom have been taking pretty good care of me, yeah." He turned his attention back to her.

She shook her head no. "That's not what I meant, senpai. I meant... I meant that you look better. Better-better. Less stressed." She folded her hands on her lap. The look on her face was meaningful. He could tell. Like something was on the way.

"Oh. Yeah, I mean..." he shrugged, "I'm still not my best. Still not completely back to normal, but I'm doing better, definitely."

Naoto grinned. "Well, I was thinking. You remember how I said that my lead was only temporary? At least on my own. Do you want to step back up again? I know that we don't really have an official leader; we all make decisions, but things aren't the same now that everyone's looking to me. I'm a good decision-maker, but I think it would be better if you helped me out." She lifted her elbows, resting them on the armrests, and kept her hands folded at her stomach.

To say that he was surprised would have been an understatement. He was doing better, yes. But he'd just told her, and he was the first to admit, that he didn't really feel completely like himself again. It wasn't that long ago that she was insisting that he wasn't stable. Had it really been enough time to determine whether he was okay or not yet? It had literally been just over a month.

"Are you sure?" he asked her, scratching a hand through his hair and chuckling. "Like I said, I'm still not my old self. I mean, this whole thing with Souji might set me back."

Jude had brought up a very good point. If they managed to track him down, it might set him back a little ways, hearing the answers to his questions. It was a calculated risk. Yosuke knew that. But going the rest of his life without the answers could drive him crazy. Maybe it wouldn't, but if his recent behavior was any indication, it was a distinct possibility. He didn't want the recovery that he'd done over the past couple of weeks to be in vain. It was ironic, too, that it could potentially end up happening either way.

With a nod, Naoto glanced down at her knees. "We're all sure. We learned the hard way that without you, the speed of battle changes. It's more difficult, or at least it seems that way. Jude is great in battle, but when we came to find you, it was his first time fighting on the other side. He didn't know what he was up against. You're the best one to help him, since you've been doing this for the longest, we figured." She smiled at him again. "And we realized that without you there, things didn't feel as..." she paused, then hummed thoughtfully. "As possible. If that makes any sense."

He arched an eyebrow wordlessly. It didn't.

"There's something that only you bring to the team, Yosuke-senpai. It took trying to fight without you to make us realize it, and I apologize for that."

The words took him completely by surprise, and it made him smile in spite of himself. Was it really that much harder without him? "Wow..." he mumbled, and even he could hear the utter shock in his voice. "Yeah, of course I'll help you lead. I mean, I don't think I can do it solo, no, but I think the two of us together have basically everything we lost when..." he trailed off.

She nodded. "The only thing we're missing is that persona changing trick that he has," she said with a bitter chuckle.

Well, it was a little more than that, but yeah. As far as battle went, the persona switching trick was the only thing they didn't have. "Part of me keeps wishing that someday, one of us will wake up with that power," he half-joked. "Whoever that is will be the unquestioned leader." It was a joke, but it was true.

"You know," Naoto said, after she'd been quiet for a few seconds, "I always kind of felt like you were as much the leader as Souji was, back when we were all together." She sounded sincere, and that took him by complete surprise. She held her index finger up when Yosuke was about to object. "Yes, Souji made the ultimate decisions, but you were very much a mouthpiece. You came up with a lot of ideas. More than you realize. A lot of things wouldn't have happened if you weren't there."

Wow. Okay, that was completely shocking. "You really think so?" he asked. When she nodded, he chuckled once. "I don't know how much truth there is to that, but thanks. I'm not really half the leader he is... he was... whatever. I really just want to help, you know? That's how I can do it." At least that was what he figured. But if Naoto... if everyone thought of him as a leader like that? Maybe he was doing something right. A smile crossed his face. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked her.

Naoto shrugged her shoulders. "Partially because it's true. But also partially to help you. You mentioned concern about this visit to Souji setting you back. I had thought that myself when you suggested we come this way today. When we all dispersed from the riverbank, I spoke to Kanji-kun for a bit, and then I called and chatted with the others about it. Since I knew Jude was with you, I waited until we all got back together and pulled him aside to ask him how he felt." She smiled. "Consider it something of a get well gift. Encouraging you to continue to get well, no matter what we see today."

Yosuke laughed. "Always full of surprises, aren't you, Naoto?" he asked, as he noticed the sign telling them that they were entering Madomai. "Continue getting well, huh? I think I can do that," he reassured her.

He saw the taller buildings on the horizon, and his smile faltered a little bit. At least he hoped he could.

Chapter Text

July 30th, 2012

There was something about the city that felt cold. Yosuke walked with Jude on one side and Naoto on the other, and the rest of the group behind them, and he couldn't help but notice how empty it felt. It wasn't empty, of course. Not even close. There were people everywhere, going about their own business and ignoring the group of teenagers walking around and looking anxious. If a group like that walked around in Junes, they'd probably be pegged as thieves, but Yosuke knew that things like this were a little more common in the city. Even with the people around them, though, Madomai felt empty. Soulless, almost. There wasn't the comfort and familiarity that Inaba had. A person could go their whole life in this city and only meet a third of the people.

It was something that Yosuke used to complain about when it came to Inaba. The fact that everyone knew everyone and was all up in their business. But the uncomfortable feeling in Madomai made him want it back.

He wondered why he hadn't noticed it last time. Had he been so wrapped up in seeing Souji again that he'd allowed himself to ignore a feeling like this? The streets seemed a little longer this time, and he was definitely a little more anxious than he was before. By the time they'd rounded the corner to Souji's street, his steps had slowed considerably.

Real anxiety was an unfamiliar feeling to Yosuke. He'd felt the type of anxiety that came with tests and work and school and feelings... those kinds of anxiety were commonplace. But as he walked down this street... the street where he was attacked, an unfamiliar constriction knotted up in his chest and he found himself needing to stop. He heard the feet behind him coming to a stop, too, and saw Naoto and Jude stop at either side of him... and he blinked his eyes hard.

Kanji's voice caught his attention. "You alright, senpai?" he asked, staying behind Yosuke. It was a good thing, too, because he didn't trust himself to stay on his feet.

Shaking his head, Yosuke glanced across the street. "It was right over there," Yosuke said quietly, pointing to the alley on the other side. "They got me on the sidewalk and pulled me in that alley." His expression was bitter, and the tight feeling in his chest got a little stronger as the vision of the shadowed figure against the blinding sunlight swam into his vision.

"Bastard," Chie seethed.

Rise looked ahead of them, then back at Yosuke. "We're not far from Souji-senpai's apartment. They really got you this close to his place?" Her eyes were wide. Not doubting him, just surprised. He could tell.

Teddie's expression was sad. "I can't believe Sensei would let someone he knows do that." The naivety in his tone was both a comfort and frustration. There was still a lot about this world he didn't understand, but the loyalty he presented both to Souji and to Yosuke had come a lot further than Yosuke expected it would.

Yukiko frowned. "I don't think there was a lot he could have done, Teddie. I don't know if he even knew." She turned her attention to Yosuke. "Are you alright, Yosuke-kun? You look very tense. We can take a little break if you want." Her tone was insistent, like it was more of a demand than a suggestion. Before he could object, she was guiding him to a nearby abandoned building, to sit on the steps. It looked like he didn't have a lot of choice.

But it was a good thing. The stress he was feeling was too much right now. His heart was pounding, and he felt like his knees were going to buckle on him. He looked up, expecting Jude to follow Yukiko; hoping that he would, but he wasn't. He was still standing where they'd been before, with Naoto, who hadn't moved a muscle either. They both held a very protective posture, and Kanji stood behind them, looking perplexed.

Their attention was focused elsewhere, though, and when Yosuke looked at them the whole group followed suit and fell silent. "Naoto-kun?" Chie asked. "Jude-kun? What's wrong?" Her eyes raised to look in the direction the other two were looking. Yosuke looked up, too, but was a little surprised when he didn't see anything.

Jude was the first one of the two to speak. "We saw a pair of people walk into the alley that Yosuke pointed out." His eyes didn't move from that spot, and his expression was intense, serious... and concerned.

"One of them was definitely Souji," Naoto responded, sounding a little bit dejected; a little bit concerned. Yosuke could feel everyone tense around him when she said that. "And the other one... the other one looked like..." She paused, an uncharacteristic faltering taking over more than her voice. It was in her whole body. "The other one looked like Detective Adachi."

Adachi? Yosuke's eyes widened at that. Panic momentarily ignored, but still present, he stood from the bench. "What's he doing here?" What was he doing with Souji? He felt hands on his arms, pulling him back to a seated position. One set was Yukiko's, and the other was Rise's.

"We'll go check and see if it was them," Naoto said. "I'll bring Kanji-kun and Jude-senpai with me and we'll go check and see what's going on."

Yosuke's eyes were wide, and he shook his head no, trying to ignore the panic and the slight swimming feeling—a lingering effect of the concussion. "Naoto... I thought..." He thought they were both leading.

She crouched in front of him and nodded her head. "I meant what I said on the bus, Yosuke-senpai, but you're very pale right now," she insisted.

Jude stood behind her, looking at him with concern etched across his face. "Your breathing is kind of shallow, and you look really tense. Sometimes that can be the precursor to a panic attack and I think Naoto is just worried that being where you were when you got attacked and seeing Souji at the same time might trigger one. We just don't want you to..." he scratched the back of his neck and chewed his lip. "We want to be sure you're okay. If we can, we'll bring them to you, okay?"

Sometimes, with leading came tough decisions. And sometimes, those tough decisions were to take yourself back out of the game right when you got your place back. Yosuke knew what the right thing was to do, and he sighed, looking from Naoto to Jude and nodding his head when his eyes met with Jude's. He wasn't a fan of having to let the three of them do this without him, but he knew that they were right. He definitely didn't feel normal. If it was a panic attack, if it could've possibly been triggered by being close to that spot, then they were definitely right. He needed to stay behind. He needed to compose himself before he saw Souji again.

"Alright," he said, but his expression definitely showed his disappointment. Letting them go and fetch Souji and Adachi—if it even was them—while he tried to calm himself down, felt like he was having his hand held while crossing the street. But it was what it was. "But hurry back, okay?"

Jude stayed back for a couple of steps to squeeze his shoulder and give a comforting smile. "We won't be long, and we'll try to bring them back." Without saying anything else, he turned and followed behind Naoto and Kanji.

Yosuke was quiet, closing his eyes and trying to focus on breathing. He heard the others talking around him, Chie told Teddie to go to one of the shops they passed and get Yosuke some water, and Yukiko squeezed Yosuke's arm supportively. She was good at that. A true supporter, good at making people feel calm when they definitely weren't. It was working already.

It was almost like Rise sensed that, because she spoke up. "He really likes you, you know..." she said calmly, and when Yosuke opened his eyes and looked at her, she had a warm smile on her face. They were trying to put his mind on something else. Trying to pull him out of his panic. He could tell.

Taken aback, Yosuke blinked a couple of times. Liked him? Oh. Jude. "Yeah. I know he does," he said with a little smile.

Yukiko chimed in with a big grin on her face. "When you were on bed-rest and it was just the rest of us at school, he kept asking about you." She chuckled softly. "It was funny. He wanted to know what music you like and what types of movies you liked..." The girls were always big on sticking their noses where they didn't belong.

"At one point, I almost felt like I was going to flip if I heard the name Yosuke again." Chie was joking, but she had a big, teasing grin on her face.

Honestly, he was surprised at how cool they were being about this. Well, both surprised and not surprised. They always supported each other one way or another, and they had all been so cool about it when he was inside the TV. He knew it wasn't just talk, but... it was really nice to know that it still held true outside. No, he hadn't decided anything yet, but it was reassuring to think that they'd still have his back, no matter what happened.

Rise laughed. "Yeah, but I mean... we hung around a lot before you guys all got super close with him," she explained. "Me and Jude and Kanji, since we all live real close to each other. Even back then, he was really curious about you. It was like... every time me or Kanji would say your name, he'd automatically be like, three times more interested in what we were saying. He wasn't as interested in my explanation about my Tokyo concert as he was in you playing guitar at the Junes concert last year." Her smile was knowing.

It was true. Before Yosuke and Jude had gotten close like they were, he was almost always with Kanji and Rise. Was it true that he'd even been curious about Yosuke back then? He smirked a little bit more. He hadn't ever really taken someone's attention like that before. If things weren't so complicated, so messed up... but maybe that would be over soon. The conversation was serving its purpose. His mind was completely distracted and his breathing had calmed down. He still felt tense, sure, but at least he wasn't dangling on the precipice anymore. By the time Teddie came back with his water, he was laughing along with the girls. He wasn't completely calm again, but he was pretty sure he could face Souji and Adachi if the others brought him back.

As if destiny was reading his mind, he heard a shout coming from the alley that the others had walked into. Before they could even blink, everyone was on their feet and running after the sound. Yosuke felt his body tensing again as they got close to the spot he'd been attacked in, but in his head, he kept telling himself that he wasn't alone this time, and he made it into the alley without any real incident.

When they arrived, they saw Kanji running around the opposite corner of the alley, Jude picking himself up off the ground and Naoto and Adachi staring in the direction Kanji had run off in.

"What happened?" Chie asked, her eyes wide as she surveyed the scene in front of her.

Jude was completely quiet, and there was something haunted in his expression, but he turned to look in the direction Kanji had run off in. Naoto turned and looked at them. "I'm... I'm not sure..." she whispered.

Adachi looked at them, surprise across his face. "I had a feeling this was the case, but..." he frowned and looked at the ground. "I can't believe..." He pressed his lips together and frowned, turning his attention toward Yosuke.

Naoto spoke up again. "Adachi-san said that he's been looking into who attacked you, Yosuke-senpai. The other officers assigned him to it," she said. Her face was completely shocked, and she turned her head in the direction that Souji ran off in.

"When I confronted him with it, he went ballistic and tried to run. Tatsumi and Mathis tried to stand in his way, and he pushed Mathis down and ran." Adachi's voice was quiet, but it echoed through the alley.

It took a second to click in Yosuke's head, but he blinked twice. "W-wait... you're saying..." he stared blankly in the direction Kanji had run off in, and then back at Adachi. "You're saying that Souji attacked me?" But... how was that possible? There was no way that Souji would do that. Yeah, things might have been different now, and yeah, he had kind of abandoned them... but there was no way.

Kanji came back around the corner, looking every bit as angry as the rest of them were confused. "He got away," he said, then turned and slammed his fist into the brick wall next to him. "Ran into a building and when I went inside he'd already gone int—" He stopped abruptly. "He was already gone."

The rest of them knew what he was going to say before he stopped. Into the TV.

Adachi stared between them, blinking in amazement. "Am I missing something here?" he asked. The silence was lingering, and he looked between them once again, before saying, "don't worry, guys. Now that we have a suspect, I'll get the rest of the force on him and we'll catch him in no time." Like that was reassuring. There was no way they could get him where he was now.

No one said anything at first. After a long silence, Naoto was the first one to speak. "Please keep me in the loop, Adachi-san," she said, obviously just trying to keep appearances.

After a few seconds of looking around the group, and the dismal expressions, Adachi nodded at Naoto. "I will," he reassured her. He looked at the rest of them. "It was good to see you all again. I'm just sorry it had to be like this." His tone was disappointed, and he looked down, then back up, and started to walk away. But he stopped right next to Yosuke, turned and looked at him, and said, "be careful, okay?"

There was something uncomfortably familiar about him being in Yosuke's personal space like that. Something chilling about all of this.

As Adachi walked around the corner, heading toward Souji's house, he sighed heavily. "First I have to tell his parents, and then Dojima-san. How am I going to break it to..." His voice faded into the distance.

When they were sure he was gone, Yosuke looked at Kanji. "He's in the TV?" he asked. A simple, but serious, question.

Kanji just nodded.

It was settled, then. "We're going in." Yosuke made sure his tone left no room for argument.

"Senpai, are you sure you're-"

He wasn't even sure who had argued. But he cut them off. "We're all going in." He felt the fury coursing through him, and there was absolutely no way he was going to sit there while they all got answers for him. There was just no way.

Chapter Text

July 30th, 2012

The bus ride back home was significantly quieter than the bus ride to the city. Every now and again, he'd see someone lean over and talk to their seat-mate, but for the most part, no one was saying anything. Jude was especially quiet. He sat by the window this time, staring completely silently out at everything they passed. He wasn't usually that talkative, unless someone talked to him beforehand, but he at least talked to Yosuke. As a matter of fact, he didn't even seem aware of anything that was going on around him. This was unusual. If nothing else, Jude always paid attention, but the way he was staring... there was something on his mind.

He always got quiet when he was thinking about something. Yosuke had noticed it a long time ago; back on the second day they'd spent with him. Chie and Yukiko had been talking about school, and mentioned that they didn't get many new people in Inaba, and that new people were always the center of attention for days. They'd motioned to him a couple of times, and he hadn't even seemed phased. It'd happened when it was just the two of them from time to time, but Yosuke had learned how to get him to open up.

"That cloud is back, Jude," he said. Normally his voice was more comforting, but right now... well, he didn't feel very comfortable himself. "Looks like it already started raining though."

Jude turned to look at Yosuke, and rather than doing what he usually did and return-serving the joke, he looked down at his knees, and then shrugged. "Sorry," he murmured.

Well, that was unusual. Ever since they'd rescued him from the TV world, Jude always opened up to him without him having to try. Sometimes Yosuke didn't even need to speak up. Jude would talk like he was comfortable, like they'd been friends forever like Yukiko and Chie. Something must have really been bothering him. And if it was bothering him, it was bothering Yosuke.

He chewed on the inside of his lip for a second, before putting his hand on Jude's shoulder. "What's bothering you? You've been quiet ever since we came into the alley." Ever since he saw Jude sitting on the ground after Souji pushed him. Oh. Maybe that was it. "Are you hurt?" No one had even thought to ask him that. Maybe he'd hit the ground hard.

"Huh? Oh... no, I'm... uh... I'm good," he said, looking at Yosuke with concern. "Thanks, though. He just shoved me."

But there was something off with his expression. Even back in the city, in the alley, he'd seemed distant. Haunted. When he was sitting on the ground, he had a thousand mile stare, like something had taken him completely off guard. "Something's bothering you," Yosuke said, keeping his tone quiet. Maybe it was something he didn't want the others to hear.

Jude was still quiet, and he cast his eyes down, away from Yosuke again. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong.

"If something's bothering you, you can tell me," he insisted, putting a hand on Jude's shoulder and squeezing. "You've helped me so much, and I want to help you back, but I can't unless you tell me what's wrong."

Chewing on his lip, Jude sighed and scratched a hand through his hair. "I..." He started talking, then stopped, turning his attention to the window. Maybe this was one of those things that was easier to say when you weren't looking at someone else. And it seemed like he was right, because Jude started talking again. "When Souji charged at me, I felt... the only way I can think of to describe it is deja vu." He frowned.

The whole time he'd been speaking, Yosuke had been watching him in the window. The expression on his reflection's face looked... it still looked haunted. Whether or not there was any fact in what he was saying, Jude believed it from the very pit of his stomach, and it definitely concerned Yosuke. Whether the concern was for the truth in the statement or the reminder that it had happened to begin with, he wasn't sure. But he needed to ask more.

Yosuke arched an eyebrow. "Deja vu?" he asked.

"Like it had happened before. And the only think I could think of was when I got put in the TV. The person who attacked me didn't charge me, but the feeling. The aura of the person felt the same." Jude shook his head and winced, laughing bitterly. Like he thought that he wasn't making any sense. "I'm insane. I know. I just can't get the feeling out of my head."

At that, Yosuke went quiet. Between that and what Adachi had said... this sounded really, really bad. And he couldn't even say that Jude was the only one who felt that way today. The way he'd felt when Adachi walked up beside him... it was similar. "No," he shook his head. "No, you aren't insane. I got a similar feeling. But the difference is there's no way mine can even be possible." He chewed on his lip. "I don't know if you saw it, but Adachi whispered something to me before he left..." he sighed.

Jude nodded. "I saw. I meant to ask you."

Yosuke nodded his head. "Yeah. It was just... he was only telling me to be careful, but it just felt familiar. Being in that spot with him whispering to me like that." It was absurd. "But it's not possible. As far as I know, Adachi doesn't even know the other side exists." And even if he did, there was no way he'd have been able to throw Yosuke in.

"Yosuke, can you promise me something?" Jude was a little bit closer to him now, whispering even quieter, like this was something he didn't want anyone else to hear.

The closeness was comforting. Easy. He leaned in, too, and for a moment he felt like a co-conspirator. Like he and Jude were coming up with some secret plan to save the world from a tyrant. It made him give a bit of an inward smile. "What is it?" He didn't agree right away. There were some things he just didn't promise.

Jude put his hand on the joined armrest between them, letting his pinky lazily and casually come to rest on top of Yosuke's. A little contact, but nothing blatant and noticeable. "Please be careful while we're over there today," he said. "I can tell you're still hurting. You can handle yourself. I know you can. But you're not at 100%, right? So..." he frowned.

Yosuke decided to finish for him. "So, be careful." He knew what Jude meant, but at the same time, he didn't want to make any promises. "I will. You guys will be there to back me up, too. But I can't just sit off to the side and pretend this isn't a problem while all of you go in and find out the answers to the questions that have been driving me crazy for months."

He hoped Jude understood, and from the way that he leaned back and looked back out the window—but didn't move his hand—Yosuke got the feeling that he did.

Even though Jude's face was drawn downward in a frown, he nodded his head. "I know," he said, leaning his head against the window. "I understand. I'd feel the same way." He turned his head lazily as it leaned back against the bus seat, looking Yosuke in the eye. "But that just means that I'll have to work twice as hard to protect you." The smile on his face was genuine.

They all protected each other, but the offer of protection was different in this case. With how close they were, it felt more personal. Deeper. Yosuke wet his lips and turned to look at Jude. "We'll look out for each other." He smiled. "It'll be the first time I see you in action, too. Looking forward to seeing it, Mr. Brown Belt." He winked.

Jude laughed again, and it was a relief to hear. He looked so much better when he smiled. Raincloud blown away. For now, he thought as he relaxed, not bothering to move his finger from beneath Jude's.

*

Hitting the ground when they fell into the TV was harder than usual, and that was the first moment that Yosuke worried that he wasn't in good enough condition to be here today. The pain spread from his ribs to his entire body and made him get up from the ground slowly. But before he'd even reached his feet, he felt not one, not two, but three different healing spells hit him. When he looked around at the rest of the group, he saw Yukiko, Teddie and Jude's personas fading behind them, and he smiled in spite of himself. A bitter thought cropped up, though. The thought that maybe he'd be a strain on them; maybe they'd be less aware because they were covering him sprang into his mind and he was definitely worried.

He did feel pretty good in here, though. The healing spells dispelled most of the residual pain in his ribs and even though he knew it would only last until they were outside of the TV, it bolstered him and reminded him that as long as he didn't get too badly hurt now, he wouldn't be a strain.

But before he could think about it for too long, he heard the sound of another persona being summoned. Rise, who had been quiet for a very long time, had summoned Kanzeon and seemed singularly focused on figuring out where Souji was. She probably has a thousand questions, too, he thought, standing up straight without pain for the first time in weeks. It would be great if healing worked like this outside of the TV... he chuckled inwardly.

Teddie stood beside Rise, focusing as he scanned the area around them.

Everyone was noticeably on edge. What if they needed to fight Souji's shadow? What if they needed to fight Souji? He could change personas; how were they supposed to fight against that? If we can convince him not to fight... we have to convince him not to fight. Because if they couldn't... if they couldn't, there was no way.

After a long time spent in silence, Rise spoke up. "It was hard," she said, looking drained as she sat on her knees on the ground. Teddie helped her to her feet and she steadied herself against his shoulder. "He resisted me a lot. But when Teddie helped me, we got past the block. There's something really powerful that way," she pointed to the northeast and then looked back at them.

Teddie spoke up then. "There's something beary weird going on there, though. It's strong and it keeps changing." He frowned.

"It could be the persona changing thing. Maybe he's trying to fight the shadows in there." Did he have his sword? Did it matter? When they'd fought that one time, Yosuke definitely considered the fact that he probably didn't need his sword in the TV. He knew how to throw a brutal punch.

Naoto hummed thoughtfully. "Whatever the case, we should go and find him." She turned her head in the direction that Rise had pointed.

When they took off, Yosuke couldn't help but notice Jude pulling up the rear of the group, and looking very glum. All he could think about was the dread feeling that he'd mentioned on the bus. He felt that sense of deja vu. He really felt... was it really possible that Souji could have attacked both of them? The thought made his stomach lurch. And what did that mean for last year's case? Was it possible that all last year, they'd trusted a murderer? That they'd put their lives in the hands of a murderer? He looked to his right to see Naoto deep in thought, and tapped her on the shoulder.

When she turned to look at him, he sighed. "Worried?" he asked her.

"Unsettled." She took her jacket by the lapels and straightened it, then turned to look at Kanji as he walked up beside her. "All of this feels very off to me. Souji-senpai ran when Detective Adachi brought forth the mention that he was the one who attacked you, senpai," she said to Yosuke. "But before that? When he saw Jude-senpai, he panicked. Like he knew him from somewhere."

Kanji nodded his head. "Yeah, man. His face went white like a sheet and it was almost like he was looking at a ghost or something." He looked at Yosuke. "Senpai? You okay?" he asked.

Yosuke frowned. "Jude mentioned a familiar feeling when Souji charged at him. Like... like a looming presence or something." He turned around, looking at Jude, who was looking back at them now, looking very dejected.

"You don't think that he'd..." Yukiko was right behind them, and she sounded completely horrified at the concept that it was possible. "There's no way he'd do that."

Naoto pressed her lips together and shrugged her shoulders. "If we go by the evidence, then it makes sense, doesn't it? Souji is the only other person we know with the power to enter the TV, and he's utterly refused to speak with us since he left town. He was even... he was even distant after we took Namatame in." She looked down.

"How could he do that?" Chie's angry voice echoed in the open space around them. "How could he just... he knows what happens to people when you put them in here and don't go and save them! How could he just put..." She turned to look at Jude behind her. "I-I'm sorry, Jude-kun. I shouldn't be so casual talking about..."

Jude finally raised his eyes from the floor, and shook his head. "It's okay." He brushed a hand through his hair. "To be fair, we still don't know if it's true." He was stressed, and feeling that unpleasant familiarity, but he was still trying to dispel the worry everyone else was feeling.

Shrugging, Rise waited for Jude to catch up to her, walking alongside him. "But if it is, we have to find out," she said seriously. "If he did that to you... if he attacked Yosuke-senpai, we need to find out," she reassured him. "It'll hurt, but he needs to pay for it if that's what happened." The sadness in her tone wasn't even close to concealed, and he was sure they were all feeling it, but she was absolutely right.

After a few seconds of silence, Jude looked up from the floor. "I'm sorry, guys. This can't be easy for you, and you're all going through it because of-"

"Souji." Yosuke cut Jude off before he completed the sentence, weaving through the group and walking up to the other side of him. "Not you," he insisted, placing his hand on Jude's shoulder. "Not you at all. If what Adachi said is true, we're going through it because of him." That was the painful truth.

The silence in the air was practically palpable, and the discomfort in it was prominent. Jude still looked disappointed, angry with himself; or maybe the situation, but he turned to look at Yosuke with a weak smile on his face. "Alright," he said quietly. "Alright, I just don't want you to resent me. I mean, you wouldn't even know it if it wasn't for me being taken, right?" He chewed on his lip.

Yosuke was about to respond, but it was Naoto who spoke next. "But that's a good thing. We spent all of last year searching for the truth. Honesty. Reality. That was the whole thing brought us all together. Trying to find out the real answers because we were the only ones who could. If we stopped before we found out the real answers, just because those answers are unpleasant? We'd be betraying our friendship." The tone was surprisingly open, for Naoto, and it made Yosuke realize exactly how far the group had come since they'd all met each other.

"Yeah. 'Sides, you're one of us now, man," Kanji said as he came up and clapped Jude on the shoulder. "So, 'f it's true that Souji-senpai was the one who put you in here? He's gotta answer for it." He echoed what Rise had said before, slightly less elegantly, and nodded his head.

The smile on Jude's face was weak, but it was there. He understood; none of them really felt like they had anything to smile about right then. When this was over, when they had their answers, then maybe they could all smile. Still, their comfort seemed to work for Jude. He looked up, his expression a little bit less dismal, and said, "alright. Thanks." His voice was quiet, but it carried over the empty space, and Yosuke allowed himself to take the words for what they were. He stayed beside Jude as they kept walking, and Rise stayed on the other side of him. He didn't deserve to be walking slowly behind the group like that.

It wasn't long before they saw the yellow of the floor fade in the distance, changing to signify that they were getting close to where Souji was. Once they got there, they stood in stunned silence. The area around them was completely shrouded in blue. Was this what it looked like in Souji's subconscious? It was mellow, but there was something that felt erratic about it. It felt dangerous. Rise had mentioned something about it feeling dangerous, and it seemed like she wasn't joking. If Yosuke could feel the danger, without an analytical persona, he could only imagine how she and Teddie were feeling right now. Aesthetically, the place was actually kind of soothing. Blue cement lined the floors and blue tiles checked the walls... and as they looked around, it occurred to Yosuke that it was...

"The train station." Jude looked surprised, but that was exactly what it was. "The Inaba train station, but it's completely blue. Almost like someone painted it."

Naoto was surprised, too, but she nodded her head. "Why on earth is it blue like this?" Looking at her, it was amusing to see that with her clothing and hair, she almost completely blended into the background.

It was so blue, in fact, that the rest of them completely stood out against the contrast of the blue around them. They looked like they were standing on a backdrop; like someone had made this set for them to stand on just to display how out of place they were, but that definitely wasn't the case. Even the entrance separating them from the labyrinth that Souji's subconscious had created, which was usually a swirling red mass, was blue this time. What would it be like when they went through? Would it feel different?

Rise looked more unsettled than the rest of them. "The power in here is almost overwhelming," she said, and looked at the blue, swirling portal. "It feels like whatever's going on in there is really, really dangerous. We have to be really careful."

Teddie nodded his agreement. "The power feels... heavy," he said. "It feels like someone's pushing down on us. Someone strong. Trying to keep us away." He turned to look at Yosuke, and then at Naoto.

Taking a slow breath, Naoto turned to look at Yosuke. Ultimately, the whole reason they were in here right now was because he'd insisted, and he could tell that they were waiting for his decision. Damn it. The problem was, as dangerous as it was, turning around would mean little other than the group of them spending the evening worried about what was waiting for them the next day.

"Let's... let's just go," Yosuke told them. It wouldn't make much sense to back out now, would it?

Chapter Text

July 30th, 2012

The path itself was the length of a train. A train that almost seemed neverending, and was draped in that same blue that the first area had been. The seats were velvet, and the windows were lined with some blue metal that occasionally glinted when Yukiko cast a fire spell or Kanji cast electricity. Looking out the windows of the train, they could see nothing but endless fog, with nothing inside of it. It looked like the train itself was riding through a cloud. And as for the enemies? Rise and Teddie were absolutely right. The power in this place—wherever this place was supposed to be—was off the charts. Every hit felt critical and it hardly felt like they were doing any damage unless they managed to hit a weakness.

By the time they got past the second train car, they were already exhausted, but their desperation for answers pushed them on. Rise helped when she could, using Kanzeon's power to restore some of their stamina, but there was only so much she could do.

Every now and then, from the corner of his eye, he would watch Jude fight. Another wind persona, equally as strong as his. Honestly, it wasn't surprising that his persona was wind, with how fast he moved. Every now and then, when he summoned, Yosuke thought he heard him call out 'Kushinada.' That must have been his persona's name. Watching him fight was almost like watching a professional. It wasn't like he'd never seen anyone fight like that—Chie was pretty damn good with hand-to-hand, too... or, hand-to-foot, rather—but seeing it from someone like him was highly unexpected. Normally, he was kind and gentle. Outside of the TV, it didn't look like he had a vicious bone in his body. Seeing him move about like a weathered hand-to-hand veteran was surprising.

It made Yosuke feel like he needed to live up. Yeah, he fought pretty damn well, but seeing Jude fight ignited him; inspired him, almost. The next time he charged in, he ran at the large, bull-type shadow and slashed at it, following quickly with a garudyne. When it staggered and fell backward, he smirked wide. It wasn't dead yet, but it was surprising. He wasn't usually a big damage dealer—that was usually left to Chie and Kanji—but knowing that he could every now and again? Yeah, it was kind of awesome. Maybe this was a new effect of his strengthened persona.

When Kanji finished it off with a critical hit, Yosuke allowed himself to relax a little bit. He grinned when Jude squeezed his shoulder and gave him a proud smile, and everyone around cheered him on eagerly. Yeah, okay. Congratulations were pretty damn good.

They'd gotten pretty efficient at taking down the smaller shadows. It took all of them, because there was really no pattern to what they were strong against or weak to, but they worked together like a unit and worked through the throngs of enemies... unsure of how far they were from the end. After traveling through nine train cars, they approached a door in the distance when Rise stopped them.

"Wait!" she called out, rushing up to them from her safe spot not too far away. "Wait. I sense that same powerful presence I've been feeling this whole time, and it's really... it's really close." She didn't say anything else, but looked at the door in front of them. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know what that meant.

And that could only mean one thing. "Souji..." Yosuke whispered, looking at the door with concern. If he was that powerful; if it was that overwhelming, what were they doing here?

Naoto pressed her lips together and looked at the door. "Well, we came here to get answers, so we can't let the fact that he's become so powerful sway us. We've never looked away from danger before. We can't start now, right?" She didn't sound as 'certain' as she usually did, but really, none of them probably were.

Well, none of them except...

Yosuke found his eyes wandering to Jude in the same way they always did, except this time there was curiosity laced in his expression. There was furious protection in his eyes, and Yosuke had to wonder what he was thinking. Was he wondering how they'd handle themselves? Was he prepared to protect them if things went badly? He is. You know that much, Yosuke thought with a little smile. Jude was a protector. It was written on his face and evident in the way he always tried to keep them from harm. Even his persona was a protector. That said a lot.

Stepping to the front of the group, Yosuke looked at the door, then back at everyone else. They all nodded their heads and he raised his hand to pull the door open.

What they saw on the other side was both surprising, and not. Souji stood there, in the center of the room, fighting a shadow with Izanagi behind him—only it wasn't Izanagi. It glowed the same red, and its casting movements weren't the same as Yosuke remembered Izanagi's being. What... what is this? he asked himself.

When Souji finished with the shadow, he turned to look at them. The expression on his face was unfamiliar. It wasn't the same warm, gentle expression that Souji always used to wear. He looked... he looked manic. Not just manic, panicked and furious. It was almost like the kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. This... this didn't look at all like the Souji he knew. Souji's smile twisted a little higher, and Yosuke found himself shrinking back subconsciously. He'd been dangerous before. Dangerous, but safe, because Yosuke had known that he'd never hurt them. But the look on his face... the way he was standing there, daring them with his eyes to attack? He isn't safe anymore... The thought made his heart sink as much as it made the fear rise.

Everyone else seemed to be similarly concerned. Not angry, though there were definitely layers of it in there. But concerned. Disappointed. Frustrated. This was someone they'd believed in. Someone they'd trusted; someone who they thought had believed in them, and... And what? he asked himself. They still didn't know anything! Not for sure. We're all afraid to ask... At least Yosuke was.

Looking at the group now, their personalities shone through as they faced off against their (former?) leader. Jude still looked afraid, at least a little bit, but he stood strong, trying to be protective of the friends who were still suffering. Naoto tried to keep a poker face on; her mouth a straight line... but her eyes completely betrayed her with a mix of sadness and fear in them. Kanji stood defensively, glaring Souji down with a look of fury in his eyes, but the fury stopped short of concealing the betrayal, the anger, the sadness that he was obviously feeling. Chie looked like she was alternating between wanting to attack him and wanting to cry. Yukiko and Rise were thinly sealing their tears with looks of anger, and Teddie just looked completely stunned. Yosuke wondered what he looked like to the rest of them, but there was no room to think of it now.

"Took you guys long enough," Souji said, his voice almost taunting. Yosuke searched, but he didn't find anything joking, anything playful in the words.

He's actually taunting us... Yosuke's mind teased. His heart sank further.

Kanji, never one to think his actions through for too long, stepped forward like he was going to charge, but instead shouted, "yeah well you didn't exactly make it easy to get to you! Why the hell'd you run away?" His eyes narrowed. "What happened to bein' a man, senpai? What happened to facin' shit when it comes at you?"

Souji simply shrugged and gave a little grin. "Things are a little different now. Simple as that." Spoken like he expected that to be enough of an explanation. Nonchalant. Carefree.

Things certainly seemed different. A year ago, Souji never would have said anything like that, in that tone. He never would've made it seem trivial. In the pit of his stomach, Yosuke felt the sadness twist into something else. Betrayal. Fury. It boiled in his gut and kept him silent while he heard Naoto speak up.

"Did you do it?" Her tone, usually calm and collected, shook like it was barely concealing her rage and fear. She sounded like one wrong word, one wrong syllable would topple her over the edge into pure fury.

The dismissive look Souji gave her said more than words could, as he took a step forward and the whole team recoiled in response. "Do what?" he asked, a smirk crossing his face as he watched all of them jump a little bit. "It can mean a lot of things, Naoto. Did I... start the French Revolution? No, that was way before I was born. Did I land on the moon? Not yet, but if you give me time, I-"

"You know what she means!" Chie's angry voice echoed throughout the empty space that was the blue room around them.

Chuckling, Souji shrugged his shoulders. "I don't. My psychic powers haven't developed quite that far yet." He shrugged his head to the side.

Yosuke's lips parted, and for a second, no sound came out. But after scanning his eyes over the rest of the group, seeing the looks of sadness and anger lining their faces... he realized that he needed to be stronger here. This was hurting all of them, but if one of them didn't get their act together, then all of them would be in big trouble. He narrowed his eyes and tightened his hands around his knives.

"You do know." At first, his voice was quiet. Weak, against all the emotions he was trying to push back, and everything he was trying to suppress to be the voice of reason. But after the nonchalant shrug and head-shake that Souji gave, a fire lit in his stomach and he found himself shouting, "Don't lie!" and stomping forward with one foot. "You know exactly what she's talking about! Did you do it? Did you put Jude into the TV? Did you put me into the TV? Are you... are you trying to kill us?" If we hadn't figured it out, would you try to kill all of us? went unasked.

Chuckling, Souji paced again. "Ah, you guys." His tone was still easy. Like they were all just pals having a chit-chat. "You're always two steps behind the game." He called his tarot card down and hovered it in the air, right above his hand. Not summoning, but letting them know that the threat of it was very much there.

"Answer him!" Rise spoke clearly. "Haven't we earned honesty? Haven't we... haven't we earned something?" Her voice was desperate. More pleading than actually shouting.

At that, Souji chuckled softly. "Wasn't it you who told me that I never owe you anything, Rise?" he asked, spinning the tarot card where it hovered with his thumb. "And Yosuke. Wasn't it you who told me that if I didn't feel like talking, I didn't have to? That you always had my back?" He gave them a wry smile.

Rise faltered at that, but Yosuke didn't. "That was before. That was before you went nuts, apparently. Answer us. Was it you?" Yosuke was surprised. His own voice cut through the silence like a razor blade through paper. The anger and betrayal bolstered him the way it had weakened him before.

But it seemed to be in vain, because Souji was just grinning. "You guys and your truth." He sighed and changed the direction that the card spun. "What does it really matter? If I confess to it, there's no way I can go to jail, right? You're both okay. The most that would happen was a slap on the wrist. Unless..." he hummed thoughtfully. "Unless you think I killed Saki Konishi and Mayumi Yamano, too." The pause after those words was long. Meaningful. What was he trying to say?

"You didn't..." Naoto seemed to have picked up on it before everyone else did. "You wouldn't."

Wait. Wait, was he confessing to killing them? Or was he just making some kind of psycho rant? Something about this didn't sit right. None of this sat right. But maybe that was only because this was Souji, and... what in the hell was he saying? "Wouldn't I?" he continued. "You don't think it's a little convenient that all of it started right after I showed up in town?" He tapped the underside of the card with his finger, and it didn't spin... it just flipped upside down and stopped. Stopped moving altogether, just rested in the air above his hand, upside down. What was happening?

Yukiko looked shocked, but she spoke up. "There's no way." She shook her head. "You didn't put us all in the TV! It was Namatame!"

Souji made a humming noise and nodded his head. "Yeah, that much is true." He looked at them. "I couldn't find a way to get around the fact that you'd all recognize me. So, I had to trick him. Get him to do my dirty work." He shrugged. None of this made sense. If he was secretly... like this, if he was secretly hiding it all along, wouldn't they have picked up on it? As if he'd read his mind, he looked straight at Yosuke and shrugged. "Or maybe I'm lying. Maybe I'm covering for someone else. Isn't it horrible that you can't figure it out?" he asked.

Covering for someone. But who? Yosuke's eyes narrowed. "Who are you covering for?" he shouted.

Laughing, Souji rolled his eyes. "I said maybe, Yosuke. That's for me to know, and you to wish you did." He tilted his head to the side and shrugged.

"But why are you telling us... telling them this? Why are you telling them now?" Jude's voice rang clearly from right behind Yosuke. He couldn't see him, but he could hear him. And in his mind, he could see that same protective look on his face.

A contemptuous look crossed Souji's face when he looked at Jude. Anger. Hatred. The carefree attitude fell to his feet for a second, but in a flash, it was back up again. A single, solitary laugh escaped his lips, and he crushed the tarot card in his hand with a smile spreading across his face. "Because none of you are going to make it out of here," he said simply. "So, I don't have to worry about word getting around."

The red Izanagi appeared behind him, and before they could blink, a bright purple light came down from the ceiling. Yosuke had seen Naoto use that spell before. Megidolaon. That was what she'd called it. Energy collected in a ball on the floor and in a blinding white blast, the energy expelled. Before he even knew what was happening, Yosuke was thrown backward, crashing into the blue wall and then to the floor with a painful thud. His ribs screamed, his head swam and consciousness ebbed away.

*

At first, when his eyes opened, he thought he was the first one awake. The room was completely quiet. No movements, no echoes, no nothing. Everyone else... he thought. Are they... The first person to come into view was Chie. She lay on the ground a few feet away, her eyes open, but her body not moving. She was listening for something. To something. Yosuke opened his mouth to speak to her, but she shushed him.

Listen, she mouthed. And Yosuke obeyed.

"They're not dead, you know." Souji taunted someone.

Who else was awake? Was everyone awake? Was it just Yosuke and Chie who were down? Behind Chie, he saw Yukiko and Kanji, both laying on the ground similarly. Not getting up... Are they awake, too? So who was Souji talking to?

The cruel laugh filled the room. "Maybe I'll keep you alive. Long enough to watch me kill them, at least. One by one, I'll show you that they're mine. That you're not me. That you'll never be me. You'll always be that poor substitute that came in when I was already done with them. When I'd already moved on." Souji's words answered Yosuke's question. Jude was awake. Jude was standing. Jude was the only one standing between them and whatever fate Souji had planned.

He had to get up. He had to help. But his body ached.

"I won't let you hurt them!" Jude's voice was angry. Desperate.

Laughing, Souji shrugged a shoulder. "I don't think there's a whole lot you can do about that at this point. You're in pretty bad shape too, aren't you? Unless that hunched over posture is some kind of new battle pose I've never seen before." The carefree tone came back, but this time it was mocking. Taunting Jude. "If you and I had to fight right now, I could crush you in one hit. You're all alone, and you're pretty obviously hurting." He heard a step. Too far away to be Jude. Souji was moving. "I'm not uncharitable, though. I'll tell you what. I'll allow you one hit. One summon before I open up and blast you into next century. I'd choose carefully if I were you." The words were chiding, and right afterward, he heard the sound of a foot tapping on the floor. Like Souji was waiting.

Jude laughed once. "Charitable, huh? Yeah, I'll say you are..." he said, and in another instant, he heard the sound of a persona being called forth. What was Jude doing? Was he rising to the bait?

But... he hadn't. The sound of healing came forth one, two, three... eight times. And suddenly... the ache that Yosuke felt had completely dissipated. Mediarahan... Around him, he heard the clamoring of footsteps, and in an instant, the rest of the team was at Jude's side. "Good choice," Yosuke said, putting his hand on Jude's shoulder when he walked up behind him.

"Glad you thought so," Jude responded, his posture straight now, thanks to the healing. They'd all be feeling this later, and he was sure the hospital was in their future, but for now... for now he was more focused on something else.

Souji. They had to do something. "We have to stop him." As soon as the words escaped his lips, Yosuke could see the hesitation in everyone else's faces, and he definitely understood. Whatever he'd done... he'd been their friend. But... but he couldn't just let Souji get away with this. He couldn't. "If any of you want to leave, I won't blame you. I won't be mad. But we can't let him get away with this. This isn't the Souji we knew anymore. And if he did kill Saki-senpai and that announcer? We have to bring him in and let the police take care of him. We chased down the truth all last year, and... and it might be right here." The thought made his heart sink again. "You can stay, or you can leave. I'll let you choose."

Jude's presence didn't falter beside him, and he didn't expect it to. The support helped more than Jude realized. Naoto appeared at his other side, with Kanji right beside her. Rise summoned Kanzeon, and stayed a safe distance away. Chie and Yukiko appeared on the other side of Jude, and Teddie beside them.

They were really going to do this. It may have been insane, but they needed to try.

Chapter Text

July 30th, 2012

Whatever Yosuke had been expecting, this wasn't it. Any notion of being able to talk this through was completely out the window now. But he knew that was the case as soon as he'd seen the bright light of the megidolaon come down from the sky. Still, as easy as it was to say that they were going to fight Souji; actually doing it was completely different. Yosuke stayed frozen in place, and in his mind flashed the moment on the riverbank last year, when Souji had walked up to him and hugged him. And how that hug had fixed all the negativity that he was feeling at the time. It gave him pause. After that flowery speech he'd just given... he was hesitating.

It seemed that Souji wasn't, though.

Before Yosuke could blink, Souji crushed his tarot card again and in a split second, he heard the familiar energetic buzzing of electricity forming over his head. Shit... he thought. He moved to dodge, but it didn't matter because Naoto shoved him to the right, knocking him into Jude and sending them both toppling to the floor.

It obviously hurt her. But she pulled herself up to her feet quickly and Yukiko instantly shrouded her in the healing light of a diarahan. That was the moment that Yosuke realized that pulling punches was a quick way to get themselves killed. He helped Jude get up off the ground and then quickly enveloped the group in the green aura of a masukukaja. They'd need to dodge as much as they could. As if to prove his point, Souji pointed another electric zap at Teddie, who dove to the floor to dodge it. Yosuke rushed up to Naoto.

"Are you okay?" he asked her. She'd thrown herself in front of that ziodyne to protect him.

Naoto nodded her head and smiled weakly. "It'll hurt later, but I'm alright." He was pretty sure they were all saying that right now.

When Yosuke turned his attention back to Souji, he was caught off-guard by a swirling, deep purple aura in front of his face. It swirled in a diamond, and he felt a sense of dread, knowing exactly what it meant. Mudoon... But before the attack could finish, he felt himself surrounded in a protective aura—like something was blocking the spell from actually taking place—and it had absolutely no effect when the aura faded. Jude was facing Yosuke now, with his persona fading behind him, and the relief Yosuke felt was hard to ignore. A protector, through and through.

But Souji's voice cut through the battle sounds, of summoned personas, thrown punches and clashing metal. "Stop!" he shouted at Jude. "How in the hell do you keep screwing up my plans?" He pulled his hand across the front of his face, a motion Yosuke recognized as changing a persona. With a quick summon, a fire pillar swirled around the area Jude was standing in.

Jude dove to the floor, out of the way of the attack. Good. If Yosuke remembered correctly, fire attacks were a weakness of his. The sukukaja, Yosuke thought. Thank god.

Souji was walking forward this time, his steps echoing through the silent room each time his feet hit the ground. "You show up in town and it's almost like everyone forgets me. They're mine. You're not half the man I am!" Another summon, another fire pillar, which Jude rolled out of the way of. "Stop that! I should have just killed you when I had the chance! Forget throwing you in the TV. Forget his ideas. I should have just...!"

Whose ideas? Yosuke found himself asking in his mind. But he didn't get the chance to think about that for too long. As soon as he heard the second summon, he knew that someone needed to act. Jude was prone; there was no way he'd be able to get out of the way of a third attack. If he didn't do something... He'll kill Jude... he thought desperately. The card floated in Souji's hand, ready to call forth another fire spell, and moving as quickly as he could, Yosuke ran forward.

Thinking quickly had never been his strong suit. He always acted, never really thought, and this was a prime example of that. When he was in midair, he heard the crushing sound of Souji summoning his persona and the blazing sound of fire. Jude's cry of pain rang throughout the room, echoing and making Yosuke's blood run cold. The next second, Souji and Yosuke tumbled down and hit the ground.

"Why are you protecting him?" Souji seethed, pushing Yosuke off of him.

Yosuke stood as quickly as he could, and turned to look at Jude. Yukiko was healing him, and he was breathing, but... but he wasn't moving. His eyes turned back to Souji, and he could see an unfamiliar furious look reflecting back at him, from the lenses of Souji's glasses. "Because we aren't yours," he said, charging again. "Because you gave up any claim you might have had on us when you just turned your back. When you decided you didn't care anymore!" He knocked Souji down again. "Did you ever actually care about us?" he asked.

"Were we just pawns in a game to you?" Naoto asked. She didn't jump into the fight. Maybe it was out of respect. Maybe it was a realization that this was something Yosuke needed to do on his own. The way she placed a hand on Kanji's chest to stop him from running in, too, told Yosuke that it was the latter.

Souji didn't answer. In fact, when he was confronted with any sort of question about his motives and reasons, he went back to tight-lipped slyness. He looked up at Yosuke with a knowing smirk. "I'm not saying a word." He moved to try and get up off the ground. "And you know what? The best part about that is that you can't do anything about it. You can't kill me. Both because you love me," he taunted, and Yosuke cringed at that, "and because you need me." Souji smiled a smile that actually kind of scared Yosuke. "The only way you'll get any answers... you need me alive."

Yosuke stepped forward, his fists balled at his sides. "We're not murderers, no. So I can't kill you." A simple statement, but only the beginning of what he had to say. "But you're going to answer for what you did, whatever it was." Without another word, he pulled back and punched Souji in the face. Every bit of strength within him went into the punch, and it was a mix of agonizingly painful and oddly satisfying to see that it did its job, and Souji was unconscious on the ground. The pain was a little more prominent, though, and he tore his eyes away, instead focusing on Jude. "Kanji, can you make sure Souji doesn't hurt us if he wakes up in here?" he called out.

He didn't need to look to see Kanji doing exactly as he said. Naoto walked toward Kanji, reaching into her coat pocket for something. Yosuke didn't wait long enough to see what it was.

"Is he okay?" he asked Yukiko and Teddie.

Yukiko nodded. "He's unconscious, but he's okay. Between the fire and being the only one to stand against Souji in the beginning..." she chewed on her lip.

Without a second thought, Yosuke leaned down and slid one arm behind Jude's shoulders and the other under his knees. He lifted him carefully. It hurt, but Teddie seemed to pick up on that quickly and he felt a diarahan momentarily sapping the pain away. "Thanks, Ted," he called. "Guys... let's get out of here."

*

No sooner had they tumbled out of the TV than the ache from the battle set in. Jude was still unconscious, and so was Souji, a few feet away. It wouldn't have mattered too much if Souji had woken up, of course. When he chanced a look, he noticed the silver glinting on his hands where they hung behind his back. Kanji was carrying him, but Naoto had also had the foresight to cuff him. Just in case. He realized, of course, that the group of them must have looked quite the sight. Scathed and dirty, with two of them unconscious. The pair of women staring said that clearly enough.

"Can someone call the cops and the hospital? We should all probably get looked at." That megidolaon had done a number on them. And Jude. He was still breathing, but if Yosuke had just acted faster... if he'd tackled Souji sooner... maybe this wouldn't be a problem. Yosuke set him on the ground and sat down beside him, ignoring the fact that he felt like he was going to pass out, too. "Jude..." he nudged him and tried to get him to wake up.

But, instead, he heard Souji groan and rustle where he lay a few feet away.

Kanji bristled defensively and stood between Souji and the rest of the group. They were out of the TV now, but that didn't mean that Souji was completely incapable of hurting them. Just like we thought he'd never do, Yosuke's brain taunted. God... how was it possible for them to have misjudged him like that?

"What's the matter?" Souji's voice taunted, as looking between the few of them that weren't on the phone. "You wanted the truth, right?"

Yosuke felt a frown tugging his lips downward, and he looked from Jude's unconscious form, up to Souji. "Why?" he asked. "How could you do this? To him... to me? To all of us!" He was still being dismissive about all of this, but that was the truth he was pulling from the whole thing. Whatever else Souji had done, he'd admitted to putting he and Jude into the TV. Or at least Jude. "Did you ever really care about us at all?" he asked.

The tight-lipped shrug of a response that Souji gave made Rise whimper behind Yosuke, and Yosuke felt the anger that he'd been feeling inside of the TV bubbling up again. "So, you never really cared about the truth. Or did you know the truth all along?" Rise's voice permeated the silence, and it was bordering tearful. "I can't believe..." she trailed off, and he heard her sniffle.

"If you guys are so concerned about the truth?" Souji finally broke his silence, a cruel smile crossing his face. "Maybe you'd be interested to know that this whole thing? It doesn't end with me." The words came as unpleasantly as they probably intended. Did that mean what Yosuke thought it meant?

Everyone's eyes widened. "What do you mean?" Naoto's angry voice came clearly, once she hung the phone up.

When Souji didn't answer, Kanji took the reins. "What do you mean it doesn't end with you?" When he didn't answer right away, Kanji picked him up by the collar of his shirt. His voice was bordering a growl when he said, "who the hell 'you working with?!" Yosuke could see the fury in Kanji's expression, and honestly, he felt it, too. It only amplified when Souji didn't say anything else.

After a silence that seemed to stretch for too long, Naoto spoke up. "The ambulance and the police are going to meet us outside." Her tone was dismal, depressed. The fact that it made Souji smile wider made him angrier.

"Ted, Chie, can you guys make sure he gets out okay?" Yosuke nodded at Jude. Once they each took a side supporting him, Yosuke pulled himself from the floor and walked over to Souji, standing on the opposite side of him. Making sure he didn't make a run for it. "Let's be clear on one thing. We were loyal to you. We believed in you. We trusted you-"

Souji snorted. "Is this supposed to make me feel guilty?" he asked.

Yosuke narrowed his eyes. "I wasn't done." He yanked on Souji's arm as they walked. "But we weren't yours. We were your friends and we followed you, but we weren't yours." People weren't possessions or playthings. Why did people think it was okay to treat them that way? He trailed off, then started up again. "And your part in this?" He made a broad gesture with the opposite hand, meaning everything over the past year and a half. "Whatever it was, it's going to come to light. And you'll pay for it. Not by murder or whatever else? But in jail. The way civilized people do it." It was almost exactly like what they'd said to Namatame a year ago, and it hurt to have to say it to Souji, but it was what it was.

Kanji spoke up. "And you can tell your buddy, whoever the hell they are, that they have the same fate waiting for them, too." A serious tone, not angry, not dangerous, just determined, seeped into his voice.

With a chuckle, Souji shrugged his shoulders. "If you want to believe that, you can. But you all know just as well as I do that things don't work the same way over there as they do over here. We both know that without sufficient evidence, all the cops will have to go on is your word, and my word. Just like with Namatame. So, I'll be in jail, sure. And that'll suck, yeah. But there will be someone on this side, waiting for the right moment to get the ball rolling again. And you know what?" He grinned wryly. "You'll be thinking about it. All the time. It'll keep you up at night." He tilted his head from side to side tauntingly. "So, in a way? You are mine. You'll always be mine. All of you. Even your new friend."

Naoto seethed. It was almost an audible seething noise that came out as something of a hissing sigh. "You have the right to remain silent. Please use it," she said angrily.

In the silence that enveloped them, Yosuke's eyes went to Jude again. He was conscious now, and limping weakly with Teddie and Chie's support. Yosuke wanted to be beside him when he woke up, but he was glad that he'd come to; that he was okay. Beside him, he could feel Souji's eyes on him. Though part of him didn't want to, he turned to look and see what their former leader wanted. Souji was curling his upper lip. "So, that's my replacement, huh?" he asked, a derisive tone in his voice.

"No," Yosuke said simply. "No. He's nothing like you." At first, he'd thought there were similarities. But now...? Now he knew there were none.

Souji smirked. "How can you be sure?" The look on his face was teasing. Playing on the blanket of uncertainty that he'd just draped over the group of them.

And the truth was, he couldn't. He'd known Jude for fewer than three months, all things considered. How could he know for sure that he wasn't... that he wasn't like this deep down? The thought made an ache settle in the pit of his stomach. How could he let the words get to him? How could he allow someone that he knew was just trying to play on his insecurities do just that?

Even worse... how could he know that Jude wouldn't eventually do the same thing? Damn it... he thought. This whole situation was just... it was just miserable.

Chapter Text

August 21st, 2012

The summer festival hardly felt like a festival. Yes, it was fun. The food and the games were what they were meant to be; a good time to spend with your friends, but the dismal air of the situation with Souji had dampened their spirits. It had devastated the town. Souji had been massively popular in Inaba when he was there, and hearing that he'd most likely go to jail, having him take the blame for the murders that took place last year... it threw everyone for a loop. The court case was fairly open and shut. Souji had been able to fill in all the blanks that Namatame had left... and the People In Charge were confident that he'd go to jail for a long time.

Finding the truth should have made the group feel at least a little bit of happiness, but the bitter feeling of the culprit being a friend of theirs, mixed with the knowledge that there was still someone out there who could pick up where he'd left off... it definitely soured the 'victory.'

They hadn't seen a lot of Dojima-san or Nanako-chan around town since the news came to light, either. As hard as the devastation was hitting the team, Yosuke could only imagine how hard it was for them. He had tried to go visit at one point, but neither of them had really been in the mood to talk. Even Teddie hadn't been enough to cheer Nanako up.

Yosuke's parents had been just as shocked by the news as the rest of the team, too. They'd always liked Souji... for a lot of the reasons that they liked Jude now. Hearing that he was probably headed to jail for a pair of murders had been shocking. And they were concerned about Yosuke, too, and how he was taking the news. They hovered, more than usual. They forced Yosuke to take extra days off, made sure that he spent extra time with his friends... all of the overbearing things that they didn't really used to do. It was both nice and frustrating at the same time.

Honestly, as much as he expected his life to be affected by the news, by Souji's confession... he hadn't expected it to enshroud the whole town like it had. But maybe he should have, knowing how much Souji had bonded with everyone when he was here. Still, a lot of people came together for the summer festival. It was something of a reprieve from the cloud over everyone's heads.

The girls had decided to leave early, though. Chie and Yukiko had walked home together, Kanji had walked Naoto home and Teddie had walked Rise home. The usual groups.

He and Jude stood outside the shrine, not too far from Jude's house, and it only occurred to Yosuke in that moment that this was the first time they'd really been alone for any extent of time since they'd caught Souji. They'd been alone for short periods of time, when everyone else was on their way to meet up or on their way home, but now... now Yosuke had three hours until curfew. And he really didn't want to be home when he didn't have to right now.

Plus, spending time with Jude would be nice right now.

Jude. Souji had done a number on him inside the TV that day. He had a broken arm and some kind of weird medical thing in his shoulder on the same arm that Yosuke didn't really understand. Separation? Something with the rotator cuff? Something like that. Both of them had happened when he'd hit the wall, Yosuke remembered that much. And whatever they were, they had Jude set up in a sling and a cast. The rest of him seemed okay, though. Everyone else was similarly bumped up, too. They probably looked like some kind of gang when they were all together. Especially with Kanji standing tall among the rest of them.

Right now, though... right now he wasn't worried about all of that. "Want to take a walk?" he asked Jude as they stood outside of the shrine.

Smoothing his good hand through his hair, Jude nodded and smiled. "Sure." He slid his the hand on his good arm into his pocket and waited for Yosuke to lead the way. "I'm kind of glad you don't want to go home yet." It was spoken like that would be enough of an explanation, but really, Yosuke had a hundred other questions now.

He didn't ask any of those hundred questions, though. "I live to serve," he half-joked.

It wouldn't be fair to ask. Jude never asked, always waited for Yosuke to speak up on his own time. As patient as a saint. He could imagine all the questions swirling through Jude's mind, about Souji. About where they stood after what had happened with Souji... the thought shot through Yosuke like a lightning bolt. It had been almost a month now, since they'd talked about their feelings and things had gone down with Souji. Jude hadn't even so much as asked what it meant. Did he wonder? Or had he given up? Not that Yosuke would blame him if he had. The screwed up past he had with Souji would scare away even the most patient of people.

Oh, I'm in love with a murderer who may or may not have killed another person I had feelings for. Yeah. Sounds like something straight out of a crime drama. It was a wonder Jude stuck around as his friend, honestly.

Did the fact that he wasn't asking mean that Yosuke shouldn't bring it up? Honestly, he still wasn't sure where they stood... where they should stand. Souji's words still rang like a gong in his head. How can you be sure? he had asked. And yes, it made him realize that they hadn't known each other long. But that didn't change the attraction, the attachment that he felt to Jude.

Honestly, he'd never been in this position before. What was he supposed to do?

Without realizing it, they found themselves on top of the hill at the flood plain. Everything happens here... Yosuke thought to himself as he walked up to a bench overlooking the city. Everyone was still at the festival, leaving he and Jude completely alone on the top of the hill. Should he talk about it right now? They were still comfortable. Even with all the... feelings, they'd managed to become good friends. Did he want to drop a proverbial bomb that could destroy whatever this comfort was that they'd fallen into?

"Seems like you inherited my raincloud," Jude said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the two of them.

When Yosuke was looking at him, a little half-smile crossed his face. That had become something of an inside-joke for them. "Yeah, I guess so," he murmured, stretching his arms behind his back. It hurt his ribs, but the doctor had told him to do it every so often. The incident inside the TV had set his recovery back quite a bit, but a few weeks had him feeling a little better. "I'll try not to share the drizzle." Not that he figured Jude would mind too much.

Jude tilted his head to the side and chewed on his lip. "I don't know, a little rain never hurt anyone. Who knows? I might have an umbrella you can borrow." He chewed on his lip. It wasn't like him to ask, but maybe it was a good thing. It seemed like he was trying something new. Testing new waters. It was okay. It was good. It meant that he was getting comfortable.

But at the same time, it wasn't good. It was amusing, in this moment, that the tables had turned so much. Yosuke was afraid to speak up; afraid to ruin the comfort that they'd found, and Jude was encouraging him this time. The fact of the matter was, Yosuke hadn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime, and the ones he considered closest... well... something always went wrong. With how close he felt himself growing to Jude? He felt like it was only a matter of time before something disastrous came along and pushed them apart. Maybe it was better that he got it out of the way now, before he got irreversibly attached, like he apparently was to Souji.

He sighed. "Let's sit." They were standing by the bench, but this seemed like a sitting down conversation.

Jude sat first, on the far side of the bench. Yosuke calculated for a moment, sliding a little bit closer to him. If this was the moment that he ruined things, he wanted to feel the closeness that he liked so much one more time. They were close enough for Yosuke to feel the change in temperature of Jude's body heat beside him, but not too close. He could smell a faint hint of festival food in the air from the town just down the hill and it made him smile. But with the conversation looming... the pleasantness faded quickly. I hope this doesn't ruin everything... he thought desperately.

As patient as ever, Jude just sat, waiting. He didn't even stare. In such a short time, he'd learned so much about Yosuke... like the fact that being stared at in an uncomfortable moment made it harder for him to speak up. Remind me why I'm letting what Souji said ruin this? But the question was pointless. It was hard. Yosuke had never really been the type to have full-fledged trust issues before. Yeah, he kept people at a distance, but he never truly had problems trusting people before. Why was it that the first time it came up was with someone who had been so good to him? It wasn't fair. Jude didn't deserve it.

But it was what it was.

"So. You remember... you remember the whole conversation last month?" God, you sound like a moron... he thought. How did he even broach a topic like this? "You know, when I told you how I feel? And we kissed?"

Jude nodded. "You weren't the only one who confessed, remember?" His tone was urging, and his face understanding; considerate.

It was only making this more difficult, too. Oh, well, it's still true, but we still can't be together. My crazy ex-crush said some things that made me doubt you so you know. Hope we can still be buds, el-oh-el, Yosuke's brain taunted. "Right..." he mumbled. "That's... ugh." How in the hell was he supposed to do this? He looked away. Looking at Jude's face was making it all the more difficult to ignore his gut instinct to just grab him and kiss him.

After a few seconds, Jude bit his lip. "Does this have anything to do with what Rise told me? About what Souji said?" He turned his body slightly, facing Yosuke a little bit more. "How do you know you can trust me, right?" The tone in his voice was gentle. It wasn't taunting. It wasn't cruel or angry... or even betrayed.

He understands everything... Yosuke thought. He nodded his head. Why is this happening?

"Okay." Jude paused, looking out at the city and turning his body back forward. "I'll say it simply. There's no way I can really show you that I won't hurt you. That I won't turn out like that." He breathed a sigh and brushed his good hand through his hair. "I get it. The whole Souji thing is too raw. And I get that we can't happen yet. You and me." He turned to look at Yosuke. "But maybe it's good that way. We've known each other, what... two months? And yeah, relationships have been formed on less, but this gives us a chance to be friends first. Get to know each other better. For longer than two months."

Yosuke nodded. "Develop more than just an attraction, right?" Maybe they could develop something stronger. A little more complex.

Jude nodded his head. "Yeah. Something like that. We're already friends. I don't mean to devalue that." He paused, then shrugged his shoulder. "Maybe it'll give you the chance to come more to grips with who you are. Yourself, you know? You've only just realized that you're interested in guys, right?" He chewed his lip. "If we do get together... someday? I don't want to be that experiment, you know? That one experiment you had with a guy before you realized that you're not interested." Even in the dark, Yosuke could see that his cheeks were pink.

Despite everything, Yosuke couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. "You're a good person, Jude," he said seriously. "But I want you to promise something for me." He found his eyes focusing on Jude's lips again. Don't kiss him. It won't be fair. "Be my friend. Don't just... don't wait, you know? Don't be a romantic interest waiting in the wings for me to finally get over myself." He scratched the back of his neck. "You seem like the type. To do that, I mean. So, I want you to promise me that you won't." He deserved to be happy, no matter what else happened around him.

With a sad chuckle, Jude nodded his head. "As long as you can promise me something in return." He wet his lips. "If something changes... if you have a certain answer, or something like that? Can you promise to tell me?" He brushed a hand through his hair.

Oh, that he could definitely promise. "You'll be the first to know."

Before he could stop it, Yosuke's eyes fell to Jude's lips again. If this was them drawing a line in the sand, giving themselves time to get to know each other before they jumped into anything, was it so bad to want one kiss? As if Jude had read his mind, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It took Yosuke by surprise, but it didn't take too long before he allowed himself to relax and enjoy it. His heart fluttered a little bit, and his hand raised to touch Jude's cheek. Yosuke let his eyes slide closed, and he just enjoyed the warm feeling of Jude's lips against his. He could smell the cotton candy Jude had eaten at the festival on his lips, mixed with the gentle scent of whatever cologne Jude wore... and he committed the whole thing to memory.

When Jude pulled away, Yosuke found himself lamenting the loss of contact. It was too short. But it was better to keep it that way. Yosuke likened the kiss to a bookmark. Closing the book for now, but keeping something on the page so they could remember where they left off later.

A few minutes of pensive silence later, Jude spoke up. "Come on. I'll walk you home. Maybe we can take another walk through the festival on the way there. I'm kind of in the mood for some okonomiyaki."

Following Jude's lead, Yosuke stood, a smile spreading across his face. Just like before, they slipped back into friendship like they hadn't just had a terribly awkward conversation. Jude's words whirled through his head. The whole thing was giving them a chance to develop as friends. And Jude wanted him to be sure about how he felt. This felt too easy. It felt too... too simple. Yosuke felt like he should count the moments before the rug was pulled from underneath him. Jude's words morphed to Souji's then, and Yosuke's smile wilted a little. The inability to know someone's true intentions was unfortunate. As was the fact that there was someone out there, just biding their time until the right moment popped up.

Life was never simple. No matter how well a person thought they had it figured out, there were always monkey wrenches thrown into the mix. But at least he wasn't facing them completely on his own. And he had to believe that he'd be ready, if and when Souji's accomplice ever came to light.