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“Hi,” Eddie greeted gently, padding into the kitchen at three minutes past midnight. It was the first shift she’d had off since switching to midnights, and she’d planned to spend the next ten or so hours in bed, attempting to catch up on sleep. She’d woken up just before the clock struck twelve to find Jamie’s side of the bed empty, however, and her anxiety had gotten the better of her.
Her husband glanced in her direction, smiling tiredly as he took her in. “Hey. What’re you doing up?”
She shrugged, claiming the barstool next to him. “Other side of the bed got cold. I just wanted to check that you were okay, that’s all.”
“Fine,” he assured her. “I just couldn’t sleep. That’s all.”
“Mm. Okay,” she accepted, though she didn’t entirely believe what he was saying. “If there’s a reason you can’t sleep, though – I mean, a specific reason – you know you can talk to me about it, right? Pretty sure that kind of goes hand in hand with this whole being married thing.”
“Yeah,” he agreed with a halfhearted chuckle. “I’m sure it does.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “Jamie,” she murmured, “talk to me.”
He exhaled heavily. “When Erin decided to be a prosecutor instead of being a cop, Mom was so relieved. She thought it meant that at least one of her kids would be safe. It was the same reason she was thrilled when I decided on Harvard. She wanted us away from the danger. She wanted to have two less reasons to stay up all night wrong, worrying every time the phone rang or sirens sounded.”
“Well, she was your mom,” Eddie reasoned. “Of course she wanted you to be safe. If moms actually got their way, their kids would be locked away in padded rooms constantly, protected from any chance of injury or harm.”
“I get why Mom wanted us to go into law. And, at the time, it was safe. But now…” He trailed off with a humorless scoff. “John Spencer stabbed his girlfriend right when Erin walked into his apartment. If she hadn’t shot him, he might’ve stabbed her, too. It’s been a week, and it’s still pretty hard for me to wrap my head around that.”
“Of course it is. She’s your sister. Of course the idea of her being in danger terrifies you.” She pulled away slightly to meet his gaze once more.
“It’s not just the idea of her being in danger that worries me,” Jamie admitted. “It’s all of you. It’s you, and Danny, and…” He shook his head. “Every time the phone rings, especially late at night or early in the morning, I just automatically prepare myself for the worst. And I try not to, but I just – I can’t help it.”
“I do the same thing when you’re working and I’m not,” Eddie confided. “I can’t watch the news when you’re at the district. If anything comes on about an injured cop, sends me straight into a tailspin. I’m pretty sure it’s a side effect of giving a damn about people, Jamie. And we both know you’ll never be able to stop doing that. I wouldn’t want you to.” She reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers. “Maybe you should just have a chat with your sister about waiting for backup.”
“Oh, I think Anthony made her feel bad enough about that one,” Jamie assured her. “I just – every time there’s a member of my family in the same vicinity of a criminal, it reminds me of Joe.”
“What happened to Joe was awful,” Eddie whispered gently. “But you are Reagans. Asking you to stand on the sidelines when someone’s in danger is like asking you to stop breathing. In fact, I think it might be worse for some of you.” She squeezed his fingers. “Maybe you should see if you can endanger your lives in shifts. Like, you know, Erin’s not allowed to go in the same vicinity as a psychopath with a knife during the same week Danny chases down a serial killer and tries to climb into a burning vehicle.”
“They’d break the rules in the first hour,” Jamie pointed out.
“Yeah,” she sighed, amused. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“Mm.” He released her hand, then climbed from his barstool. “C’mon. Let’s get you to bed.”
“I am not going to protest that suggestion.” She stood from her own seat, following him toward the bedroom. “I love this place,” she said quietly, glancing around their new apartment. “And I love that we’re here together. It’s kind of awesome being married to you.”
He pulled her into his side, hiding his fond smile against her unruly curls. “It’s kind of awesome being married to you, too.”