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It wasn’t often Eddie found herself unable to sleep, especially given the hours she worked. The morning after Jamie was nearly shot dead in that cab, however, she awoke at one o’clock and wasn’t able to fall back asleep.
Jamie found her around two, sitting on the sofa with the television muted and subtitles on, staring blankly ahead. She glanced up when he claimed the cushion next to her, offering a half-hearted smile before returning her attention to the screen.
“What’re you doing up?” he asked gently, lifting a hand to run his fingers through her hair. “You’ve got to be exhausted.”
She closed her eyes at the sensation. “I am,” she admitted with a humorless laugh. “Couldn’t turn my brain off, so I figured I’d come hang out with the hipsters, keep from waking you up.”
“You could’ve woken me up,” he chastised softly. “What’s going on?”
“I’m a hypocrite,” she sighed, shifting so she could lean her head against his shoulder.
“No, you’re not,” he denied immediately.
“Yes,” she retorted, shaking her head. “I am. I was so hard on you last year, when you jumped in while I was undercover on that assault case.”
“You should’ve been hard on me. I was in the wrong,” he replied.
“No. Or, yes, maybe you were,” she allowed. “But you were faced with the very real possibility of me getting hurt, and you couldn’t stand by and let that happen. And I tore you to pieces for it.”
“You weren’t that harsh. I was still standing when it was over.”
“I tracked your phone,” she reminded him. “I followed you, I got involved, I shot the guy…”
“You saved my life,” he interrupted.
“Yeah, and you might very well have saved mine last year,” she pointed out. “And that is why I’m such a hypocrite.”
“Or maybe we just love each other,” Jamie suggested softly. “And, no matter how hard we try, neither one of us is going to be completely okay with sitting by while the other’s running head-on into danger.”
“I wasn’t okay with that before we were together, you know. I just had your back then,” she murmured.
“It’s like you said. We have to accept the risks. Doesn’t mean we have to be okay with them.” He lightly kissed her head. “Come to bed,” he requested quietly. “You really should get some sleep.”
“Okay,” she agreed tiredly, allowing him to help her up from the sofa. She reached for his hand as they made their way down the hallway, intertwining their fingers. “I love you,” she said softly.
“I love you too,” he replied, the words coming as easy as breathing. They always had with her.
Her husband had nearly died that day, but he hadn’t. He was there, with her, smiling as he carried her over the threshold of their bedroom despite her halfhearted complaints and dropped her gently against the mattress. Maybe, for the time being, that was enough to help her sleep a bit easier at night.