Chapter Text
Claude von Riegan is online.
Claude von Riegan has added Marianne von Edmund, Hilda Valentin Goneril, Ignatz Victor, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, Lysithea von Ordelia, Raphael Kirsten, and Leonie Pinelli to Golden Deer Group Chat :).
Claude von Riegan has changed Hilda Valentin Goneril’s name to lazy ass hoe.
Claude von Riegan has changed Marianne von Edmund’s name to equestria girls but gay.
Claude von Riegan has changed Lysithea von Ordelia’s name to Actually, I’m Twelve, so Shut the Fuck up.
Claude von Riegan has changed Leonie Pinelli’s name to Jeralt’s my dad, he’s my dad, boogie woogie woogie.
Actually, I’m Twelve, so Shut the Fuck up is online.
Claude von Riegan has changed Ignatz Victor’s name to Van Gogh but two ears.
Claude von Riegan has changed Lorenz Hellman Gloucester’s name to mimimimi- AHEM.
Actually, I’m Twelve, so Shut the Fuck up: claude what the hecc is this
Claude von Riegan has changed Raphael Kirsten’s name to Be There or Square Up.
Claude von Riegan: an idea i shouldve come up with long ago
Claude von Riegan: ah shit my name bros
Claude von Riegan has changed Claude von Riegan’s name to Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha.
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: perfect
Actually, I’m Twelve, so Shut the Fuck up: claude you didn’t answer my question
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: lysithea chill out omg
Actually, I’m Twelve, so Shut the Fuck up: no, tell me wtf is going on here
equestria girls but gay is online.
lazy ass hoe is online.
lazy ass hoe: claude bro dude buddy literally wtf
equestria girls but gay: h,hilda what’s,,, going on h.here? ?
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: i figured id make a group chat 4 all of us 2 talk or smth idk
Jeralt’s my dad, he’s my dad, boogie woogie woogie is online.
Jeralt’s my dad, he’s my dad, boogie woogie woogie: Claude we didnt need this wth no one needed this
Jeralt’s my dad, he’s my dad, boogie woogie woogie: Also my name is garbage and i wanna get it changed @Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha change it bitch
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: no
lazy ass hoe: claude why did you make all of our names so terriblw
lazy ass hoe: terriblr*
lazy ass hoe: terrible*
lazy ass hoe: goddammit
equestria girls but gay: iit’s ok hild,a u tried ur bes.t! ! !
lazy ass hoe: thx bby <3
equestria girls but gay: um.. my fon,t is off. . isthat a heart
lazy ass hoe: yes
equestria girls but gay: hiLda,,, u rlly don.t have to
lazy ass hoe: yes its legally required for me to love you
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: alright lesbians stop pls it hurts my single sad heart
lazy ass hoe: no let me be happy
lazy ass hoe: also im bi so fuckyou
Jeralt’s my dad, he’s my dad, boogie woogie woogie: You guys are all mushy and i hate you
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: single gang gang
Actually, I’m Twelve, so Shut the Fuck up: for once, i agree with claude single gang gang
Jeralt’s my dad, he’s my dad, boogie woogie woogie: single gang gang
lazy ass hoe: honestly i hate when you guys do this but im fine with it as long as none of this is directed towards Marianne bcuz if it is i can and will kill you
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: o no id never tho
Actually, I’m Twelve, so Shut the Fuck up: the one thing all of us can agree on is that were legally obligated to protect Marianne
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: tea
mimimimi- AHEM is online.
mimimimi- AHEM: I heard tea, so I was summoned.
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: that ability is both impressive yet terrifying
mimimimi- AHEM: So what is there to discuss about tea? As you may know, I am a tea fficionado.
mimimimi- AHEM: *Afficionado
lazy ass hoe: lmao fficionado
Jeralt’s my dad, he’s my dad, boogie woogie woogie: Leader of the fish
Actually, I’m Twelve, so Shut the Fuck up: fish man lorenz
mimimimi- AHEM: Please stop.
Haha no don’t die you’re too sexy aha has changed mimimimi- AHEM’s name to fish man lorenz.
fish man lorenz: Why have you forsaken me?
equestria girls but gay: d,doesnt the proff.esor like fishing ?? ?
lazy ass hoe: claude did you name the professor
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha: omg no i didnt ah fuck lemme go find them
Haha don’t die you’re too sexy aha is offline.