Chapter Text
It seemed that after nearly three years in Avonlea, having been through all that she had, there was only one thing that Anne Shirley-Cuthbert could not bear to tolerate. Was it that ridiculous Billy Andrews? Certainly not! Anne had long learned to pass no worthy remarks on his detestable behaviour. Was it, then, Josie Pye’s sly and subtle jibes at her looks and heritage? You may think, but no, they no longer had any affect on Anne’s mood, nor, surprisingly, her opinion of herself. Surely, with these things considered, there was nothing in the world that could leave her upset! And yet, there still remained one single thing that could shatter her spirits almost instantaneously. That thing was, none other than, seeing Ruby Gillis cry.
Such a small thing? Why, it happened often enough! One might think that Anne would have become desensitised to such bouts of distress, much like the others in the group. But when Anne saw tears prick up in those saucer-like eyes, and that sweet voice wobble in an alarming mewl, she couldn’t stand it! The whole scenario was akin to witnessing a tiny puppy being beaten, or watching the wings being torn off a beautiful butterfly. So, when Ruby confided her frustrations to the girls, about a certain someone having failed in making his intentions known toward her, Anne was quite certain that she had to do whatever in her power to intervene effectively. With a sigh, she discreetly looked towards Diana, before rushing over to comfort a blubbering Ruby.
‘ Come on, Ruby!’ Anne encouraged softly, gently twisting Ruby’s body towards her own, hoping the other girl would come to mirror her positivity. ‘I bet I can help!’, she smiled at her pouting friend. Anne beckoned her towards the classroom, already mentally preparing ways to soften the situation. She spotted Gilbert almost immediately, his head in a book, as per usual. The two were still tied, neck and neck at the top of the class. She reminded herself to keep on top of her studies, for it wouldn’t take much for her to fall back again. There was no way she was falling behind Gilbert, not a chance.
‘Right’, she reminded herself, her focus soon back on track, ‘alright so, he’s just come in, he obviously -’
‘Good morning, Anne!’
‘Oh, Good morning’, Anne acknowledged a rather perky Charlie Sloane, before resuming her attention back to her fretting friend. No matter how pressing a situation, she was never one to be discourteous and ignore a friendly greeting. ‘- Gilbert obviously doesn’t know about the take notice board, yet. Now, what I’m going to do is go over there and make sure he does. Everything will be fine. Please, please , don’t be upset. You just wait! Okay?’ Anne nodded encouragingly, watching as a dismal, but now stable, Ruby walked over to her desk.
‘Good morning’, Anne calmly approached Gilbert, fully ready to broach the subject. Gilbert sprung up from his desk, closing his paperback in the process. Anne was almost about to ask about what he was reading, but soon stopped herself.
'Good morning!' Gilbert breathed, even perkier than Charlie had been. How curious the boys were acting!
Anne got straight to the point, class was starting soon and there was no time to waste. ‘I don’t know if you’re aware, but the old take notice board is active again’, she began.
‘Take notice?’ Gilbert queried, eyebrow raised in encouragement, a clear prompt for her to continue. So Gilbert didn’t know! That would be of some comfort to Ruby, now to explain...
‘Yes! Of someone. As in, you post on the board when you want to let someone know that you’ve taken notice ’. Gilbert appeared intrigued, so, without missing a beat, she quickly carried on. ‘It’s a way to make a casual declaration,’ his eyebrow shot right up, ‘a quiet attention…’
‘To someone you like…?’
‘Yes! Not so pointed as to be alarming and not so vague as to not be understood’, Anne happily explained. Now he was getting it!
‘A post in advance...of a proper advance!’ Gilbert nodded eagerly, pleased at the shared understanding.
‘Exactly! Because, all of these little notices matter, when you want to let someone know that you’re... thinking ahead…’
Thinking ahead? Thinking ahead. Anne’s words rushed out before she even had time to properly consider them. She had been so caught up in everything, the notice board..., Ruby’s unhappiness..., that she hadn’t stopped to think on what it all really meant. These little notices were the beginning of something far more serious. Something dangerous and terrifying. The beginning of a promise, a declaration of intention, which could only lead to one thing.
‘...To…’ Gilbert attempted to finish her sentence, the way he was looking at her, so intimately, imploringly , searching her eyes for something, anything, made Anne’s heart stop, ‘...their future together?’
‘Yes…’, she breathed, so quietly that she wasn’t sure if Gilbert heard. Her heart had begun beating again, but this time so violently that she could both hear and feel it. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t move, she couldn’t do anything. She was paralysed. The realisation had dawned on her too late. Gilbert was thinking about her. Him and her. Their future. Together.
It had all gone too far. How did she end up here? How could it all have gone so wrong? Gilbert continued talking, oblivious to her internal crisis. How could she rail this all back? What could she do? She needed to do something . Mention Ruby, somehow. She needed to get his mind off of the dangerous path that it was on. But there was no way to break. No way that wouldn’t result in a disastrous crash.
‘So, you’re suggesting...I post?’
No! Anne wanted to scream, Not me! Ruby! Post about Ruby!
But Gilbert’s expression, soft and hopeful as he neared her, left her unable to form words. For many moments, she remained speechless, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes never leaving Gilbert’s. Oh, but his eyes! His impossibly captivating eyes. She had always thought they were brown, you see, but she was now decided that there were, in fact, hazel. How could she have never noticed such a simple, yet key, detail? The girls were right, he was indeed handsome, undeniably so, with a fine chin and expressive eyebrows. Dreamy , just as Diana had described him all those years ago. Anne didn’t know what possessed her, goodness knows, she wished she could have stopped herself. Somehow, not of her own accord, her head began to nod, slow and decided.
‘Yes’, she answered, gasping in shock as the reply left her mouth.
Not daring to look at his reaction, she turned her heel and rushed over to her desk.
What had she done?
Ruby.
‘Did you see his face?’ Ruby hissed as soon as Anne approached her.
‘Ruby I -'
‘Did you see his face when you were talking about me? Do you see how he’s still looking at me?’
Every hint of unhappiness was long gone from Ruby’s lovely visage, and had instead been replaced by pure, unbridled delight.
‘I - what ?’
‘Look!’ Ruby squealed, motioning behind Anne.
It was no sooner than Anne had turned her head to face in Gilbert’s direction that her footing was nearly lost. Gilbert was staring right at her. His eyes filled with such outrageously untoward devotion that it was almost painful to look at. She was instantly hit with a memory of the day that Prissy Andrews was to be married. He had looked at her once like this before. Though it had made her uncomfortable, she had never thought anything of it, assuming he was secretly laughing at her, or even trying to wind her up. But this was far more than she could fathom, for now his expression was unmistakable.
She wanted to run out of the room, return home to Green Gables and never come back to school again. Never have to look at Gilbert again. Never have to have him look at her again. Oh, what had she done? Had she really ruined everything? A sudden flare of temper gave her the courage to stare back at him right back, her face warning him to stop. Disastrously, this had the opposite effect. He continued to stare back, now smiling brightly in rapture, as if she were something divinely beautiful, as if he would be content to do so for the rest of his life.
But isn’t that what she’d just suggested to him?
‘His eyes are so full of romance. I could die happy right now!’ Ruby’s overwhelming excitement cut Anne from her horrified trance.
‘His eyes?’ Anne whispered, still slightly dazed.
‘Look, now he’s smiling at me! Oh Anne, he’s so in love with me. I almost can’t bear it!” Ruby squealed, “And to think I was so worried. How could I have been so silly? You were right, Anne!’
If it were not for the sudden sweet relief of it all, Anne would have been very worried about Ruby’s mental state. But all that mattered, for now, was that Ruby didn’t know. Sweet, innocent, beautiful Ruby didn’t know, and that is exactly how Anne intended it to remain. All she could do now was smile and nod. Smile, nod and not say a single word.
‘I wonder when he’s going to post for me? Oh, it will have to be soon by the looks of it!’
‘Ruby, wait!’ Think Anne, think, think, think, ‘Gilbert’s...not really a “take notice” kind of guy. A-at least…, that’s what he told me. He’s...not like the other boy’s. It’s just not hi -’
‘Oh, how romantic! ’, Ruby cut her off, ‘He’s obviously waiting for the right time to approach me. Just look at his face! Why, his feelings are so strong that he can’t bear to admit them in such a simple and obvious way. I know that now!’.
‘Y-yes. Yes, o-of course!’ Anne stuttered, desperately trying to hide her nerves.
Everything was hanging on by a very thin thread. Maybe, just maybe, Anne dared to think, she could fix this. But one wicked little detail threatened to throw everything off balance and destroy the delicate peace. And who, might you ask, was to throw a spanner in the works? None other than Gilbert Blythe himself, getting up, giving her that look and walking right over towards her.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
‘Good morning, everyone!’
Thank all that is good for the beautiful miracle that was Miss Stacey!
The sigh that left Anne was both heavy and audible. 'Good morning, Miss Stacey!' she rejoiced, earning a few strange looks from those around her, as she was even more enthusiastic than usual. But Anne didn’t care about having drawn attention from others. For all was not lost, at least, not yet.
‘Perhaps we should begin with Algebra today. Not very romantic, but maybe that’s a good thing’.
Anne had never been so excited about Mathematics in her life.
****
The rest of the class was torment, but thank goodness Ruby sat right behind her. Sweet Ruby remained blissfully unaware, as she batted her eyelashes towards her would-be beau and giggled with Josie. Anne felt unwell. If only she had just said no. If only she had mentioned Ruby. If only she could go back in time. But she had made her bed, and there was no going back now, not ever.
Anne never left Ruby’s side for the whole day. Even going so far as to beg her dearest Diana to switch places with Ruby during Newspaper Editing. The hurt on her bosom friends face was worse than any kind of physical pain that Anne could imagine. She insisted that she would explain the situation to Diana later. That was, at least, if she had come to understand it herself. For goodness sake, why did she want to scream at him to stop looking at her like that whilst simultaneously never wanting him to stop?
What?
Not that she liked him! No, certainly not. She had no feelings, nor intentions, towards Gilbert Blythe that escaped the bounds of friendship. This was all just some terrible, unfortunate mistake.
Now only the Queen’s study group was left behind. She practically begged Josie to let her sit next to Ruby, and was resorting to all kinds of flattery. So much so, she very nearly sacrificed her dignity in the process! The heavens were on her side, though, as Josie agreed, but not before insisting that Anne complete a sizeable chunk of her next assignment, as well as offer up all of her home baking for a week. It was a price that Anne was very willing to pay. It seemed that Josie was equally satisfied the compliments Anne had so eagerly showered upon her, and had now begun scribbling down two brand new “Take-Notices” for herself. One of which praised her “angelic face”.
Oh, the lengths she was going!
It seemed that there was hardly any “study” going on during this group session at all. The whole class was now in a “Take-Notice” frenzy. Sounds of paper tearing and pens rapidly scratching filled Anne’s ears no end. Fearful of what Gilbert was doing, she had a quick glance in his direction. As luck would have it, he was the only one in class studying intently. And yet, a secret smile gently lingered on his perfect lips.
Perfect?
Anne folded her face in her arms. Ruby had talked about dying happily earlier, well, Anne would be beyond grateful if the earth just swallowed her whole right now. What was going on? She didn’t like Gilbert. She didn’t, she didn’t, she didn’t, she did -
‘Anne, are you alright?’
The sudden sound of Miss Stacey’s voice made her jump.
‘Miss Stacey! Oh, I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean...’, Anne’s eyes scanned the empty classroom. ‘W-where is everyone?’
‘Anne…’, Miss Stacey’s voice betrayed concern. ‘Class ended two minutes ago’.
‘Wha -’
‘Anne, I know what you said earlier, but I’m afraid that you’re not alright. In fact, I don’t think you are at all. I put you in a very uncomfortable position today, and I know that it must’ve affected you somewhat’.
The assumption left Anne totally puzzled. The event which Miss Stacey was specifying was the furthest thing from her mind right now.
‘Miss Stacey, no -’
‘No, please Anne, I know it must have. I’m so sorry for putting you on the spot like that, truly I am. It was inconsiderate and insensitive of me. Please, if there’s anything I can - ’
‘Please, please Miss Stacey. Please, believe me. I’m not upset! Not about that’, Anne reassured her dear teacher.
Miss Stacey didn’t look entirely convinced. Still, she didn’t press the issue any further ‘If you so insist,’ she resigned, ‘I’m going to be grading papers in the next room. Please, feel free to stay a little longer. And, if you decide you want to talk, I’m here. I mean it, Anne’.
Anne smiled gratefully as she watched her beloved teacher leave, quite touched by her worry. It wasn’t until she heard laughter from outside that she realised not everyone had gone home. In fact, it appeared everyone from their study group was out there. But why -
No.
The notice board.
The post.
Gilbert’s post.
Ruby.
‘Gilbert?’ Anne whispered to herself, before reality really set in, ‘ Gilbert? Gilbert!’, she called out hysterically. In a state, she ran out to the cloak room and swung open the door.
‘Anne?’
****
Anne felt two protective hands clutch her waist, the warmth of them instantly calmed her. She whipped round, her braids stinging her face in the process. Not that she cared, though, for the mere sight of him, right before her, was overwhelming. There he was, looking at her in that way which he should never look at her. Speaking her name as if it were sacred. Had his arms always been so strong? Had he always been so tall?
Speak, Anne, for goodness sake, speak!
‘Gilbert I -’
‘What’s wrong?’ Gilbert’s blissful expression changed to troubled. ‘You’re shaking…’ he whispered, stroking her freckled cheek with his thumb. The look of tender concern in his eyes made her want to cry. For whatever strange reason, it felt so bizarre and wrong to be treated this way. Especially by Gilbert Blythe.
‘I’m fine. Gil -’, she gulped, not quite managing to get his name out.
Oddly, this seemed to delight him even more. He sighed, smiling softly as he began to play with one of her braids. He seemed to take a strange amount of pleasure in such a simple thing. There was nothing overtly improper about the exchange, but Anne couldn’t bear the gentle intensity of it. She had to look down.
‘Anne?’ he whispered, she’d never heard him speak her name so delicately before. ‘Anne, please tell me what’s wrong’, he pleaded, simultaneously soft and stern. He turned up her chin, to face him directly, left hand still firm on her waist. The action made her face burn. She must have appeared as red as a tomato, or at least now in more ways than one. 'Is it because of earlier, about “Getting to Know You”?’ he bent his head in query. The whole thing was completely unfair, how on earth could he expect her to speak?
‘What? No, no, no. Gilbert - ’, Anne shook her head so rigorously that her braids swung. ‘Why is…? No, it’s nothing to do with that’.
‘Then what?’ he insisted. If she wasn’t so nervous, she would have scolded him, why was he prying so incessantly into her most secret matters?
‘Have you - ‘, Anne began, trying to find the right words. ‘You haven’t...you haven’t posted a- a “Take-Notice”, yet, have you?’
At first, Gilbert looked rather taken aback, before a somewhat teasing expression appeared on his face. ‘Not yet , why?’, he playfully raised an eyebrow, attempting to draw her closer.
Anne had to turn and retreat back, loosening his grip on her. Didn’t he see he was closing what little space was left between them?
‘I didn’t realise everything was in such a hurry...’, he rounded on her.
Say something! What are you doing? Why are you letting this happen?
Anne gasped as her back hit a corner, 'I just - Gil - Gilbert -I...'
‘...But, I suppose, I could go out there right now...’, there was no mistaking the earnestness in his teasing tone, ‘...that is... if you want me to?’
It was then that Anne knew that she just had to say the word and he would do it. That he would do anything That was the most frightening part of all.
‘I could get it all over and done with. In front of them all...there for everyone to see’.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
‘Gil…’
‘ But’, he cut her off, ‘I’d much rather post it alone . You see...if I’m going to make my intentions known, if my advance is going to be published ,’ he grinned cheekily, ‘I want to make it crystal clear’.
Say something!
‘I said not so pointed as to be alarming…’, she rushed.
Anne could hardly breathe . Did he not realise what he was doing to her when he kept looking at her like that?
‘Oh? Did you now?’ Gilbert was enjoying himself far too much. 'Because, I also recall, Miss Shirley-Cuthbert, that you insisted it not be so vague as to not be understood. And I don’t intend to be misunderstood, Anne’.
What was he doing? What was she doing?
He gave her another one of those looks, before, reluctantly, letting her go and backing away.
‘Gilbert wait -’, her voice stopped him in his tracks immediately, he eagerly made his way back toward her, arching a single brow, once again taking her breath away. ‘W-what are you going to post? When - ’
He gave a deep, throaty chuckle, shaking his head as if she were quite foolish. ‘Don’t worry about that’, he tucked a loose red strand behind Anne’s burning ears. ‘Let’s just say that my intentions will be made known. There won’t be a shadow of a doubt’, Gilbert sported a knowing smile.
He hummed happily as he swayed back into the classroom, his eyes never leaving hers and -
Did he just wink?
Well, he was awfully bold to do such a thing, and Anne’s temper began to rile up. However, all of her anger was forgotten when she saw what he was doing. Gilbert, having ripped a page from his previously immaculate notebook, had begun to write.
He was about to post.
****
It was all too much. Anne hurriedly grabbed her coat and hat, feeling an intense sense of panic set in. She needed to get away. The contrast of the warm schoolhouse and the outside air, though not particularly cold, was startling. Everyone had gone home, already. It seemed she and Gilbert had been inside longer than she previously thought. Anne could see the outline of Paul M sulking back home alone. It was an odd occurrence, as he and the other Paul were rarely seen apart. It was only when she spotted Paul L and Tillie together, further in the distance, that she finally put the pieces together. Poor Paul M, though she didn’t particularly like him, nursing a broken heart couldn’t be easy. But what could he expect? Tillie, with her nut-brown tresses, flawless complexion and plump figure, was a favourite with many of the boys.
She stared down at herself in the little brook they cooled their milk in, all spindly limbs, red hair and freckles. Anne, herself, would never be a heartbreaker, nor receive such attention. Not that she minded as much as she used to, for she had become quite accustomed to her differences. But, though she had accepted herself well enough, a part of her still pined for her ideal of raven hair, violet eyes and a roses and cream complexion. Still, Anne was well aware that these were pipe dreams, and she had learned her lesson the hard way.
Perhaps Gilbert wasn’t thinking about her at all? Perhaps his “Take Notice” was for Ruby. She was probably just worrying over nothing, and to think of the fuss she’d made! Would Gilbert and Ruby walk home together, then, just like Tillie and Paul L? The thought of it gave her such an uncomfortable feeling, one that she’d never had before. Why did the idea bother her so much?
Anne knew she couldn’t hang about forever, after all, Marilla was expecting her back home. And with Gilbert showing no sign of leaving the schoolhouse, she begrudgingly began the path home. It was odd, she felt so light, as if what she had just gone through that day wasn’t real. Oh, how wonderful that would be! If only she could wake up right now and redo the day all over again. However, each step filled her with an uneasy, sickly feeling, as if moving away was dishonest and wrong. The crushing guilt spilt over Anne in a sudden surge. Because she knew it was wrong. Because Anne knew that the “Take-Notice” Gilbert was writing was for her. Because...he had somehow gotten the absurd idea into his head that he liked her.
As Anne approached that familiar clearing in the woods, where she usually bid her bosom friend farewell, she wanted to collapse in despair. Not even the first buds of spring could comfort her in this most desperate moment. The worst part was that she didn’t even have her dearest Diana to confide her anguish. Anne couldn’t even speak with her tomorrow, on her birthday of all days. And what would happen on their next school day? What if she got sick and couldn’t go to school? What would happen if Ruby got to school before her next week? Even more of a worry, what had Gilbert written? Anne knew she couldn’t allow the possibilities to frighten her until then. She had to get Gilbert’s post off the take notice board, and she had to do it now.