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Elsa’s room looked so empty. It wasn’t lacking in furniture; there was her bed, a desk, a bookshelf, and a window seat just like the one in Anna’s room. Yet there was still a chill to the room like the wide, abandoned places in stories where sad things happened. Anna didn’t like it. It didn’t feel like Elsa… but then, Elsa didn’t feel like Elsa lately. It’d been well over a month since Elsa had moved into her own room and stayed there all day, and Anna was running out of ideas. Sneaking into Elsa’s room while she was at lessons was the only thing she could think of; even if Elsa got mad at her, at least she’d be paying Anna some sort of attention.
There were advantages to being little, Anna mused as she crawled under Elsa’s bed. For one thing, people didn’t notice right away when you were missing. For another, it made capers like this possible. Anna grunted a little as she inched along her belly, twisting until she was laying horizontally, able to peek into the room under Elsa’s bed skirt.
Elsa’s lessons were an hour long, and Anna felt every second of them. She squirmed in the tight space, drummed her fingers and hummed to herself. It was so boring under here. Anna regretted not bringing a toy from her room, even if there wasn’t much room to play with one in her hiding place. Elsa didn’t take much of them when she left. I’m too old for playtime, Anna. Hmph. What was that supposed to mean? Elsa wasn’t even that much older!
Despite the discomfort, boredom, and nagging fear that this wouldn’t work, Anna exhibited more patience than anyone had ever seen from her. This was for Elsa, and even at five-years-old, Anna would do anything for her sister.
The click of the handle made Anna jolt from the twilight doze she’d fallen into halfway through. Wide awake, Anna didn’t even breathe as Elsa entered the room and closed the door behind her. She leaned against the white wood, and Anna was struck by how sad Elsa looked. She stared down at her hands, clad in gloves she’d started to wear all the time, even at meals. Anna didn’t understand what was so special about Elsa’s hands, but her sister continued to stare at them, and Anna dared not reveal herself just yet.
Finally Elsa sighed, and straightened her spine. Even at the awkward angle, Anna recognized the signs of Elsa making a Decision. Often, this happened when Anna was determined to do something reckless, and Elsa appointed herself responsible for her excitable sister’s welfare. (And if she got swept up in the fun as well, the Decision was often to take responsibility for whatever had been broken or bruised.) Now Elsa marched out of Anna’s view, and Anna could hear her talking to herself.
“You can do this. You can do this. Conceal, don’t feel… it’s easy.”
What on earth did that mean? Anna desperately wanted to poke her head out and see what Elsa was doing, but fear kept her still. If Elsa heard her shuffling around now, everything would be ruined. Elsa might even lock her door, and Anna would be lonelier than ever. So she stayed still, and listened very hard. Elsa was picking something up… she was still chanting to herself (don’t feel don’t feel)… Anna shivered suddenly, and at the same time Elsa wailed in frustration, slamming whatever she was holding down.
Unable to wait any longer, Anna scrambled out from under the bed, banging her head on the frame in her hurry. She heard Elsa gasp, and when Anna looked up Elsa was frantically moving to cover part of the desk with her body.
“Anna…” Elsa’s voice trembled, and she was white as a ghost. “What are you doing here?”
Anna didn’t answer her immediately. She was watching, awestruck, as swirls of frost climbed up the wall behind Elsa. Following her gaze, Elsa whirled around in despair, allowing Anna to see a ball they used to play with near the edge of the desk, half covered in the same ice from which the rest of the cold grew from. Elsa’s head swiveled between Anna and the wall. Looking half wild with terror, she held her hands to her chest and backed away from Anna.
“Wow… Elsa… Did you do this?”
“Stay away,” Elsa begged. Her back hit the wall and she slid to the floor, curling into a ball like she was trying to contain the cold between her legs and chest. “Please, go! I don’t want to hurt you again!”
“Again? What are you talking about?” Anna started towards her sister, and Elsa flinched, momentarily forgetting she was in a corner as she tried to scoot further back. Anna felt tears burn her eyes. Suddenly this didn’t feel like a clever idea. “Elsa, please don’t be scared of me,” she pleaded. Her lips trembled when she saw Elsa crying. Elsa never cried, she was so strong and smart and wonderful; nothing made her sad. But here she was, looking so devastated and… and if Anna had caused that…
“I’m n-not scared of you. It’s me. Y-you’re not supposed to be here, they said--” Elsa cut herself off when the first snowflake drifted past her nose. Anna stared up at the ceiling in wonderment. It was snowing inside! The flurries were just popping out of thin air!
“Elsa, this is amazing,” Anna gushed.
Inexplicably, this made Elsa look even more upset. “No, it’s not! It’s awful and dangerous and I don’t want it anymore!”
“But why? It’s so pretty.” Even with everything going on, Anna still had it in her to giggle when a snowflake landed on her nose. It was bigger than any snowflake she’d ever seen; Anna could even see the pattern in its center! She cupped her hands, cooing when the snowflakes didn’t melt against her skin. Maybe Elsa didn’t know they did that. Anna approached her, holding out her hands. “Look, see--”
“I SAID STAY AWAY, ANNA!”
Anna instinctively shrieked as spikes of ices grew from the floor, forcing her to run to the opposite side of the room. She couldn’t see Elsa through the jagged barrier between them, but Elsa was crying harder now, and talking to herself again. For a long moment that was the only sound in the world. Anna was right and truly scared now, but running out the door never crossed her mind. The fear wasn’t for herself.
“Elsa?” When there was no more screaming, Anna inched back towards the ice. Her arms were covered in goosebumps from the cold, and she could see her breath. “It’s all right,” she soothed, mimicking Elsa whenever Anna woke up from bad dreams. “Ice isn’t scary.”
Elsa said nothing, and continued to cry. Anna climbed through one of the gaps between the ice. Her slippers provided no protection from the frozen ground, but that wasn’t important. What mattered was behind the ice. “I’m not scared. You’re my sister, I know you won’t hurt me.”
“But I already did,” Elsa moaned.
Anna maneuvered a little closer. “When?”
“…You’re not s’posed to remember. They said it was for the best.”
Anna was incredibly confused, but played along. “Well, I’m better now, see? It was an accident, like when you gave me your ribbons and I tore them climbing that tree.” As she spoke, the ice seemed to retreat, leaving wider and wider spaces for Anna to crawl through until she didn’t have to crawl at all. When Anna reached her, Elsa was hiding her face in her knees. She didn’t even seem to notice she was sitting on a sheet of ice.
“Please play with me again. We don’t have to build a snowman if you don’t want to.”
“It’s dangerous,” came the muffled protest. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“But we’re sad, Elsa. We’re sad when we’re not together. I don’t want you to be sad.”
Elsa sniffled, and finally looked up. “I don’t want you to be sad, either,” she admitted quietly.
“So let’s not be.” Anna plopped down on the ice, wincing as her butt hit the ice a little too hard. When Elsa started to look distressed again, Anna threw her arms around her sister. “Hi, I’m Anna.” She imitated the voice Elsa had used the last time they played together. “And I like warm hugs.”
Elsa burst into giggle-sobs. Her embrace was tentative at first, but then gripped Anna tightly, for they were each little girls who only wanted her sister back. “I love you, Anna.”
Quietly, the ice and snow receded.