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Catra had been pretty good at keeping her worsening condition hidden. Their empathy was a one-way street; she was able to feel Adora's emotions and such, but Adora couldn't feel any of hers. It was a blessing in one way and a curse in another, but Catra found she preferred the roles this way rather than switched around.
But Adora seeing her faltering strength was another thing entirely. The moment that Catra had collapsed without warning - a stumble, really, that's all - breathing heavily on her knees, Adora panicked. Her blue-gray eyes had blown wide and she seemed torn between helping Catra to her feet and running off to her study. Catra could feel the swell of Adora's panic coupled with her own muted sense of it and knew that nothing she said would quell it.
So she opted for saying nothing at all. Instead she rose to her feet, careful to mask the shakiness of her limbs and flippantly waving Adora's worries away.
Adora was already down the hall before she could lift her hand.
Catra followed the panic, light feet leaping after Adora's fear-fueled stomps and caught the door just as it was swinging shut. She saw Adora standing over her desk, pouring over her tomes, fingers rubbing across lines of ancient symbols and texts.
"I just need more time," she pressed.
Deciding to hang by the door, Catra crossed her arms. "Well unless you know any nifty time spells, I'd say you're fresh out of that." She winced at how nonchalant her tone was discussing her own inevitable peril, unsure whether it was due to a misplaced calm or perhaps something darker. Deeper. She ignored it for now. Possibly forever.
Adora shook her head frantically and picked up one of the books, cradling it in one arm and frantically thumbing through pages with the other. "I'm close. I'm so close! I just need…" she trailed off, tongue poked out in concentration and eyes squinting.
Catra could feel Adora's soul trembling, a vibration that shook her to the core. She grimaced at the growing turmoil raising inside of her, hating how her breath was becoming shortened and frantic as a result. Feeling things that she didn't want to feel, feelings things she normally wouldn't be feeling….it was all such a pain in the ass.
"Hey," she called out, stepping across the room to stand next to Adora, watching closely as the blonde ignored her. "Calm down. Your panicking is making my chest hurt."
That got a reaction if the white hot flash of anger exploding behind her eyes was any indication. "I'm trying to save your life asshole! The least you could do is shut up and let me concentrate! Maybe even try and act like you appreciate anything I'm doing for you!"
Catra rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Right. I'm sorry that I forgot to thank you for shoving your soul into my body so that I can feel every mundane emotion that passes through that blockhead brain of yours."
"I did it to keep you from dying!"
"Yeah. Because getting notification pings for all your rapid mood swings is far preferable."
Adora huffed and slammed the book down on the desk, walking over to the second one pressed against the other wall and sifting through papers, her back turned to Catra. But Catra was feeding off her anger and frustration now, feeling it coursing through her like rushing rapids, chaotic alongside her own rage bubbling beneath.
Her fists clenched by her sides. "And - by the way? - fat lot of good that did. I'm still dying!"
Adora whirled around, eyes crazed and flickering with a fire to rival Catra's own - a fire they shared. "Look, I'm trying! It's not a perfect solution but at least it bought me more…." Her sentence tapered off as the tension relaxed from her shoulders.
Catra felt her own anger wilt away with Adora's, the burning ache of her own rage still there but a far lesser magnitude than the both of theirs combined. She scowled and dug her nails into her palms as if to incite it back. She didn't want to let go of it. She was allowed to be angry, dammit.
But now Adora was staring at her in some transfixed state, eyes blinking and mouth parted. Catra could feel the inner workings, a sharp stab of realization without the clarity of thought to shape it. She furrowed her brows, frustrated at feeling the hope gifted by a revelation that she was still in the dark about.
Before she could demand answers, Adora whipped around again and bent over her desk to be eye level with some small mason jars she kept there. Catra briefly recalled joking about it once, only for Adora to quip in return that "Walmart doesn't keep potion bottles in stock anymore." Eventually, Adora found what she was looking for and snatched it up, unscrewing the lid in one fluid motion.
Catra felt the uncertain hopefulness as Adora swirled the contents around and did her best to decipher Adora's thoughts based on feelings alone. No such luck.
It wasn't until Adora brought the jar to her nose and gave a small sniff that Catra understood. She felt Adora's soul within her shudder, clawing at her insides and rising so forcefully that she felt she was going to choke. As if it was trying to escape. Return to its owner. Something that could only be prompted by something that would allow it to transfer back….
One look in Adora's eyes told Catra that wasn't the case. In fact, the opposite.
"Adora, no."
"Catra," she pleaded. "I'm almost there. I just need a little more time to figure it out and this is the only way I'll get any."
"One soul transfer is stressful enough!" She crossed her arms over her chest, guarding herself. She wasn't entirely sure how this worked actually, but she was sure that Adora had to have access to her in some way, right? Keeping a distance was a safe enough bet. "Two could do serious damage."
"We don't have a choice!"
"Of course we do!" snapped Catra. "You just don't like the other option!"
"Are you saying you want to die?"
Catra groaned and ran a hand down her face. "No, but that doesn't mean you have to kill yourself trying to save me!" She set her mouth in a firm line and took a step back. "I'm not letting you do this."
Adora dipped two of her fingers into the jar and they came out slick in some oil-like substance. Catra watched this action warily, eyes flicking to the door in case she needed to escape.
Not that she could go very far, but at least she could run out of this room and let Adora settle down enough to come to terms with basic logic.
She diverted her attention for too long.
"Good thing I wasn't really asking then, huh?" Adora's voice was right in her ear and Catra jumped back, startled that she'd gotten so close, so quickly without making a sound. She turned to make a run for it but her shoulder brushed against the wall and before she could think to sidestep out of the way, Adora's fingers coated in the oil dragged across her lips.
Catra grimaced at the rancid smell and bitter taste, resisting the instinctual urge to lick it away. And then Adora's lips were immediately on hers, her hands holding her in place.
To say she was stunned would've been a vast understatement.
She'd been unconscious the first time Adora did this. Transferring her soul into Catra's body, sharing her life force to save her. Catra didn't know the process, hadn't known…
Her body was stiff, hair bristling on the back of her neck, still wincing from the gross taste of the oil concoction coating her lips. She did her best to resist. To fight back.
Adora's lips were...soft. Pillowy and comforting but….firm. Unyielding. Her eyelids were screwed shut, brow furrowed in concentration. Her stubbed fingernails dug into Catra's skin, hooked to keep her close.
The need to pull away withered and died. Some of the tension eased from her shoulders and her eyelids fluttered half-shut. A haze dropped over her like a veil, shrouding her and blocking out the rest of the room. The shadows took over until there was nothing, nothing but her and…
A throb ached in her chest, pulsing feverently, glowing hot like embers of a fire eager to rekindle. Through the fog Catra knew, somehow, what that meant and what was coming next, but her limbs felt heavy and her mind was….was….
The embers began to burn hotter and a heat began to melt her insides as she felt a tug upwards, dragging through her chest into her throat. The burning trail climbed higher, light and airy, and a wisp of coolness coated her tongue that was tailed by the fire clawing its way from deep within.
In the midst of her trance, she felt a sharp stab of panic followed by Adora's nails digging in deeper, deep enough they'd surely leave welts. She knew she should've flinched away from the pain, felt some muted part of her that knew that now was the time to pull away before...dammit before what?
Before she could chase that thought, Adora pressed closer, pulling Catra in so that their chests bumped together. The force behind her kiss was enough to bruise and the fire licked at the back of her throat, the heat close enough to completely fry her brain and render her completely immobile.
The last of her restraint was sapped away and she felt herself going limp, falling into Adora's touch. As she fell, she felt Adora's lips move, opening slightly, urging her to follow. Blindly, Catra did. Her lips parted, lethargically. The burning in the back of her throat jumped into her mouth, scalding the roof of her mouth and her tongue, rolling towards Adora's lips. The rest of the trail is blazed went ice cold, causing Catra to violently shiver. Her body grew heavier. Her eyes slid shut.
Through the ringing silence in her ears, she heard Adora inhale softly, a deep breath, before she pulled away. Darkness seeped in around her, surrounding her and wrapping her in velvet, cold but soft, forgiving. She was falling, but slowly, like she was descending through some kind of thick, tar-like substance, that pulled her down unhurried with surety.
Faintly, she registered a lingering presence of a touch on her arm, soft and gentle and subtle. But far away. Like it was happening to her in a different...place….time….
And then her body stopped sinking. It hung, suspended, though she could still feel the insistent pull wishing to keep dragging her down. Before she could make sense of why it had all stopped, the darkness began to shrink away, falling down below her, though leaving her behind. In front of her was a brilliant white light, hot and heavy and full. It washed over her, coating her entirely and entangling itself around her limbs, waist, neck, chest….
Despite its intensity, it felt...soft. Pillowy. Firm and...determined?
The light began to meld with her skin, seeping in and sinking into her, invading her body. It took over her insides as it began to course through her veins, revitalizing her and stripping away the weights that held her down. It travelled with soft caresses and gentle pulses, each one doing more and more to kickstart her own heart. It filled her so fully that she felt ready to burst at the seams, made her shine so brightly that the very notion of darkness was an already foreign concept.
Then she began to rise. Her body drifted upwards, at a much hurried pace than when she had been sinking, until she was able to catch herself on her feet. She stood unwavering with a renewed sense of strength that had been absent as of late and felt energy swirling all within her body and buzzing at her fingertips.
When she opened her eyes again, she found gray ones - with just a slight tint of blue remaining - watching her carefully. She blinked dazedly and Adora smiled, a wary and strained one.
"There," she rasped. Her hold on Catra's arms loosened and her fingers sliding down her skin sent shivers up her spine before exploding at the back of her head. "Time...bought." Then she was crashing down, narrowly missing the ground when Catra's arms jutted out to support her descent. She knelt down under Adora's deadweight, eyes wide in brief panic until her ears picked up on Adora's soft, quiet breathing. Heaving a sigh of relief, Catra adjusted Adora to cradle her closer.
Her face was serene, but Catra was quick to notice the sunken patches beneath her eyes that weren't there before and the even sheen of sweat coating her forehead. Adora trembled in her arms and though she was certainly the bulkier of the two, she felt so fragile - one blow away from falling apart.
A new buzz of energy surged in her core, pulsing steadily but straining and yearning against its new bindings. The closer she brought Adora to her, the more placated it became. When she allowed Adora's head to rest against her chest, the uneasiness practically vanished. Her whole body thrummed in contentment, but there was still the underlying feelings of mild frustration and worry that began to seep in, tainting this resurgence of vitality.
Without thinking, Catra used her knuckles wiped away some of the stray, sweat-soaked strands of Adora's hair away from her forehead. Her lips tingled with the aftermath of the transfer, and Adora's glistened with some of the oily concoction that she had coated her lips with.
"Idiot," she breathed, wishing her tone could be filled with more venom. She hadn't wanted this. Not if this was what resulted from it. Yet, she couldn't dig deep enough to find any actual resentment. Especially not when Adora felt so small in her arms.
"Alright. You got your extra time. But no more chances, you hear me?" She didn't receive a response, but Catra wasn't really looking for one. Instead, she worked carefully to stand while taking Adora with her. It took some serious maneuvering, but eventually she worked her way up to standing on her feet with Adora tucked against her in a princess carry. Then she carried Adora out of the study, down the hall, and into her room where she laid Adora gently on her bed. After tucking her in under the covers, she looked towards the door, her intention to leave Adora to rest peacefully until she came to.
But when she rose and started towards the door, she felt a pull in the opposite direction. It wasn't painful, but it was insistent nevertheless, straining against her with enough force to make her pause and look back. Back to where Adora was nestled into her blanket, so still that, if not for the little twitches she made here and there, it would've been concerning.
Catra turned around and stepped forward until she was at the edge of the bed, conscious of the fact that the tug in her chest loosened up, a quiet buzz throughout her limbs happily thrumming now. She pressed her hand against her chest, the vibration of her own heartbeat alongside something else, an echo, against her fingertips.
Her mouth twisted into a grimace absent of any real malice, before she reached over to roll Adora's desk chair to her bedside and dropping into it with defeat. She sat there for a moment, simply staring. Then she removed her hand from her chest, slowly reaching out towards Adora until her fingertips faintly brushed against her cheek, so brief and light she hardly felt the actual contact.
Still, the touch was enough to spark something within her chest, the pulsing louder and stronger. The feeling inside screamed for more, to be closer. She withdrew her hand quickly, tucking it into her lap before groaning and sinking into a slouch.
"Great," she mumbled. She brought both her hands to her eyes, digging the heels of her palms in. "Just fucking great."