Archive of Our Own ^beta

October 1st, the start of all things Halloween. The weather had already turned cold, leaving you shivering a little, walking home from work that day.

Walking past the park, you thought you saw something....or someone.

You shook the thought out of your head and continued on your way.

"Would you like a balloon?" A voice behind you asked. You nearly jumped out of your skin. You whipped around and came face to face with a clown.

Immediately, you recoiled, staring at the brightly colored clown there.

He looked so sad, holding a yellow balloon. He was about your height, with the brightest blue eyes you had ever seen. His hair was very dark, a shocking contrast to his white face paint.

He seemed nervous, shuffling a little. He held the balloon out, offering it to you.

You knew you'd hate yourself if you declined, so you reached out and took it, your fingers brushing against his.

"Thank you..." You said finally. A shy smile replaced his nervous grimace.

"Have a good day!" He said quickly, before walking backwards, until he finally tripped over something, sending him flying backwards.

Before you could rush over and help, he sat up, eyes wide, and ran away, covering his face.

-

"Clowns are.....the creepiest thing I can think of." Your friend said.

"I know, my girlfriend said she was gonna be a clown for Halloween, I said hell no, I'm not any part of that!" Another friend giggled, shaking her head.

"I saw a clown last week." You broke the silence. They looked at you.

"Like, a clown-clown? Or some guy dressed as a clown?"

"Is there a difference?"

"He was a clown, I think. He was really sweet. Really shy. He gave me a balloon." You said.

"A red balloon? Pennywise vibes!"

"No, it was yellow. And it was sweet of him." You answered. "I think he's just nervous. Maybe he's new to it."

"I could never imagine being a clown!" Their conversation became static in the background as you zoned out.

-

A few days later, you found the clown again. He was making balloon animals in the park. He was completely focused on it, his tongue sticking out and his nose a little scrunched.

It was adorable. There was no doubting that. You didn't even notice that you were straight up watching him, in what could be considered a creepy, stalker-ish way.

A child poked his cheek, pulling him from his thoughts.

"There's a pretty person watching you." She pointed to you.

His head jerked up, and he looked over, catching your eye. Your face turned pink.

You gave a weak wave, ducking your head down a little to hide the awkward blush on your face. He waved back quickly, standing up.

He gave the little girl her balloon, and walked over to you, tripping a few times.

"Hi." You said, through the gate of the park.

"Hello." He answered, shifting from one foot to the other.

"I didn't mean to be watching you," you explained. "You're just, really good at that."

"The balloons?" This time, as he spoke, you couldn't help but notice the twang of an accent.

You nodded, stepping closer to the gate. You wrapped your fingers around a bar.

"Uh huh." You said.

While his face didn't show it, his neck and ears were bright pink.

"Thank you..." He murmured, glancing down at your hands. "I'm Auguste."

You gave him your name, still looking him over. "Are you French?"

He smiled and nodded. "Qui." He said. "I am, my brother and I are part of a traveling circus."

"Oh, that's so interesting! Is he a clown too?"

"No no, Timothée is a mime. It's, ah, a family tradition." He said.

"Hey, would....it be too weird to ask if you wanna get coffee or something sometime?" You asked, looking up at him.

His words caught in his chest, so he simply nodded, almost immediately. How pathetic and desperate!, he thought bitterly.

"Great! Um, here, why don't I give you my number?"

Meakily, he sunk down. "Oh, um, I...I don't have a phone."

He didn't want to tell you he dropped it when he had attempted to cross a highwire.

"Oh, well, are you busy right now?" You asked, smiling shyly.

His chest tightened. There was no denying he was smitten by you. "I-I'm free."

"Great!" You beamed and grabbed his hand, pulling him along.

There was a loud thunk behind you, just as you realized you and Auguste had a metal gate between you.

-

"Are you sure you're okay?" You asked, as you sat outside the bathroom at the cafe.

"I promise, I'm okay." He called out, before pausing. "You promise you don't just wanna get coffee together cause I'm a clown? 

You laughed. "Of course not, c'mon, don't be worried about it."

He walked down, shyly rubbing his arm. He had a face full of freckles, and a nervous smile.

"See? I told you. You're a real looker, Auguste." You smiled, taking his hand again.

Ohh yeah, he was smitten.

And over the course of time, it just got worse. You saw every show he was in, and always took him out to dinner afterwards.

Then came the horrible news.

"Hey." He said, as he leaned out of the side of the caravan window.

"Hi you." You smiled, holding a rose out to him. "For luck."

His smile was bitter, but loving as he took it. "I have to tell you something. It's.... important..."

"What's up? You're making me kinda nervous."

He sighed, dropping his head against the window frame. "We leave tomorrow..."

Your smile instantly dropped. "Oh."

"I thought we still had a week left, but....Mr. Mazzitelli said it's time we get back on the road. So, um....I-I was wondering....if maybe, you'd like to come with us?"

You blinked a few times. "I don't have any talent."

"Y-you don't have to! Miss Gretel's husband and child are always with us! You....you could be my plus one." He held his hand out. When you didn't immediately take it, he got nervous.

Instead, you walked closer, and cupped his face. You pulled him down and kissed him. "I'd absolutely love to..."

-

Later, if you were asked why you had paint all over your face, or why you'd pick a clown of all people, you'd simply tell them he won your heart, over a balloon of all things.

"Come on, tis the season! Y'know?" Your friend chirped. "It's just some dumb old legend. You don't really believe in it, do you?"

"Of course they don't! Come on, it's just a fairytale."

You stood before a huge hospital, very much abandoned. It had been opened in the early 1800s and closed a few years back, after a patient snapped and went on a slaughtering spree. That patient was caught and claimed the Scientist told them to do it.

"I'm sure it's just a rumor someone's been living in here. And it's definitely a rumor they've been doing experiments on people and animals." One of your friends said.

"Yeah! Just a copycat of the real Dr. Matter."

"I....I guess..." You had publicly stated to your friends that you weren't afraid of some psycho scientist-wannabe.

Dr. James Matter, a 20-something year old who had suddenly gone off the deep end in 1925. He was known for his bizarre tests and studies.

October 2nd was his birthday, and it became a tradition to snoop around the hospital, the last place he had been seen. He had admitted himself to the hospital after a serious injury caused by a malfunction of his own invention.

You weren't sure what had really happened, it was a very long time ago and honestly, it probably wasn't even a real story, just something parents told kids to stay away from the hospital.

"C'mon! You can do it!"

You nodded a few times. "I can do this."

With that thought, you strode in.

-

As you expected, there was no power on the first floor. You shuffled through, one hand in your pocket, the other holding a flashlight. This was such a stupid idea.

There could be people hiding in here, squatters or something. You were more afraid of them than some stupid ghost story.

You went through every room. Spray painted drawings covered the walls. Doors and windows were broken and any medical equipment was stolen.

You headed upstairs when you began to notice something. A weird, eerie sound. You stepped lighter, turning your flashlight off. You finally came to the room the sound was coming from.

The door was shut tight, but you could see light under it. As quietly as you could, you opened the door and peaked through.

There was a figure there, standing over a table. They seemed to be talking quietly to someone who was laid out on the examination table.

Slowly, you opened the door more and carefully crept in.

"Shh, shhh, it's okay." The figure said, and from here, you saw the person on the table was moving, in horror. They begged and sobbed for them to stop.

Suddenly, they brought a syringe down and the person on the table went still.

"Oh, oh, oh. I told you to stay still." They said. As you got closer, you could see his face.

He cupped the body's face, shushing the lifeless form. "I told you. I told you. You should have listened to me."

He was tall, with auburn hair. His eyes were hidden behind round goggles, and his body was covered in a lab coat and gloves.

Blood coated his black gloves and lab coat, creating a gory shine. He made quick work of disposing of the body.

You let out a muffled gasp when he dropped it right in front of you.

The Scientist froze, suddenly alert.

"He~llo?" He called, stepping closer. The body was pulled away and he was quickly in your face. You saw your face in the reflection of his goggles.

He grabbed your wrist with his bloodslicked glove. He pulled you to your feet.

"What are you doing here?!" He asked, obviously concerned.

You were frozen in fear, watching him with wide eyes. He practically tore his goggles off to look at you.

"Why are you here?" He asked, panicked. "N-no one was supposed to see this..."

You couldn't even speak.

"I promise, they weren't a good person! They weren't innocent, they killed people, children, I-I couldn't let them hurt anyone else, I-I don't want anyone hurt...." He started to choke up, his hands coming up to run through his hair. "Please, I'm not a bad person, I've never been a bad person, I just want to help...."

You had no idea what to do. You just watched this man kill someone and now he's a panicked, crying mess.

"I....uh...it's okay...?" Carefully, you patted his back, and almost instantly, he wrapped his arms around you.

You immediately balked. This man was completely covered in blood, and now he had his arms around you!

"Look, I have absolutely no idea what's going on, or who you even are," You admitted, patting his back. "But uh, you seem.....confused?"

He took a shaky breath, and peeled away from you. His eyes were orange, the most unusual color you'd ever seen.

"My name is James Matter. I'm a doctor, and I....I have no idea why I'm still here."

"You're.....you're joking with me." You said. "This is a prank. Listen-"

"No! Please, please. I'm not joking with you, I'm serious! I-I had surgery! It was May 12th, 1925! The doctor made a mistake and I died, I saw it happen!"

He seemed so absolutely sure of it.

"How....how are you here, exactly?"

"I think....I think they tried to bring me back." His eyes were on you instantly, wide and horrified. "I think.....I'm some kind of Frankenstein."

"Well, uh, Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein was the doctor."

"Oh, right. I didn't read it." He admitted, before completely changing the subject.

"Look, if you really think you're some kinda monster, why don't I see for myself?"

He pulled away, blinking. "How?"

"Well, if you were reanimated, you'd have a scar or something right? Unless it like a Herbert West kinda thing? Wait, how did he bring them back..."

"Um..." He was watching you, obviously very lost.

"Sorry, right. Um..." You took his hand and pulled him into the light. Under that light, you could see the shocking orange of his eyes.

You looked him over, circling him like as shark. Nothing seemed wrong, at all.

In fact.....he was gorgeous. There was something about him that struck you as incredible. Maybe it was his old-fashioned demeanor, or his overall soft persona.

You poked around his coat, mostly for show. Hopefully that would make him feel a little better.

"I don't know, Dr. Matter....you look pretty human....."

"I....I don't feel human..." He whispered, his hand over his chest. "I feel no beat, yet I feel constant fear. This is my torment. I'm in this place for eternity."

You felt pity for him.

"Hey, listen, I don't know what I can do to help, but....if you ever need a friend...I'm here, okay?"

He looked up at you. "Really?"

You laughed. "Yeah, course. Why not?"

-

Okay, maybe a ghost from 1925 wasn't a great friend to make, but he was genuine and sweet, despite his obvious maniac side.

He was a little crazy, but who wouldn't be after what he went through?

You also found out he could in fact leave. You found out after he followed you to a Halloween party and possessively clung to you.

"Your boyfriend?" A friend asked.

"Close friend." You said. James, or Jamie, as you called him, paid no mind to your idle chitchat and simply glared at any guy who walked past or dared to look at you.

"And here I thought her going into that hospital was a fun idea. Now her ghost boyfriend won't let her go." Your friend sighed.

Finally, finally, Jamie let you go, albeit begrudgingly. The minute you were out of his hands, though, you were hit on by guys and girls alike.

His blood boiled. Or it would have, if he had any.

"Jamie, c'mon....you can't get jealous everytime someone talks to me. That's not a healthy relationship." You explained, pulling him down a hall.

As soon as you did, he grabbed your wrists tight. "They're going to take you from me."

You scoffed. "Jamie-"

"Please." You looked at him finally, and saw those tears again. "Don't leave me."

Your expression softened and you pried his hands away, before you cupped his face.

"I'm not gonna leave you. Where'd you get a crazy idea like that?"

"Your friends. They....don't want me around you."

You kissed his head. "Shush. None of that's gonna happen, okay? I'd never leave my mad scientist friend."

He went quiet, before mumbling "Mad scientist....boyfriend...?"

You snorted. "Is that what you prefer?"

His eyes widened, and he stepped away, mumbling and stuttering.

"I...I didn't...."

You pulled him close and grinned. "C'mon. You're the smart one, Jamie. I think you know what we both want."

He practically melted in your arms.

"Jamie, do you wanna be my msbf? My mad scientist boyfriend?"

"God yes."

You laughed, pulling him into a hug. You cupped his face, and kissed that mad scientist right on his lips.

You suddenly felt the need to thank your friends.