Chapter Text
Sam Winchester had always looked up to his older brother. He couldn’t imagine not doing it.
Dean Winchester was, well, seriously, Dean Fucking Winchester. Dean had raised him while their father was off chasing the Yellow-Eyed Demon. Dean had brought him back into the life Sam now realized he should never have tried to leave.
Dean had swapped his soul for Sam. Dean had been in Hell and come out sane. Dean was the Sword of Michael. Dean had led an angel to fall in order to save the world. Dean had survived a year in Purgatory. Dean had beaten the Mark of Cain. Dean had told God off to His face for being a dick. Dean had saved the world by talking that God and Amara into having a family reunion.
And yeah, even better from Sam’s point of view, Dean had been a brother supporting Sam when he jumped into the Cage with Lucifer inside him. Dean had insisted on returning Sam’s soul, which turned out to be the right call. Dean had backed him during the trials to close the gates of Hell, and then done everything to keep Sam alive instead. Dean had even, incredibly, shrugged his shoulders and taken his brother’s lead when it was Sam’s time to be in charge.
Dean was, in short, the reason for pretty much everything in Sam’s life. Dean was the reason he was Sam Fucking Winchester.
So one day, while Jack was reading, Dean was sleeping, and Castiel was doing whatever it was Castiel did when they weren’t saving the world, Sam sat down on his bed with a brand new composition book and decided he would make his brother happy.
When the idea first occurred to him, Sam had almost dismissed it. Happiness for a hunter? Good luck with that.
But right after that, Sam had felt indignant. He had once believed that Dean could be happy, could have an apple pie life. When had that stopped?
Sam wasn’t worried about himself so much. His heart was much more open than Dean’s. He’d loved Jessica, Madison, and Amelia. He’d even felt a bizarre and twisted sort of love for Ruby, that demon bitch. It didn’t make him shallow to know he could likely find another woman to love.
But Dean.
Dean, his brother. His deeply beloved brother.
Dean had sealed up his heart after Lisa and Ben, and though he’d made comments and flirted with basically anything since then, Sam knew his brother had decided he was done with finding a better half.
Sam hated that idea. He hated that so many hunters were absolutely determined to survive yet had completely given up on living. They were like anti-zombies, dead set on saving the world even as their own lives become nothing but death.
No.
No, damn it.
Not for his brother.
Not for Dean Fucking Winchester.
So, here he was, sitting with his brand-new, pristine composition book, and Sam was going to figure this out.
Sam was going to make it so Dean could be happy.