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The old mansion was heavy with dust as he stepped inside. The only light streaming in from the windows and the open door. Adrien was finally back in the city he loved. And the house he hated. In the city that once held the woman he loved. Where she was now he had no idea. He had abandoned her after all. He would probably never see her again.
The silence was drumming on his ears, and he shook his head. There was no way he would stay here. He should check in on a hotel instead, because being here would kill him.
My Dear Chat
I’ve come to accept the fact that you are gone away. I know that you are still alive, and it hurts so much that you don’t want to see me, but… You’re alive. And at the moment that’s all that matter. So take the time you need to get well. I can’t wait to see you again. Please come back to me.
- Your Ladybug
The hotel room was impersonal and small, but compared to the house Adrien just came from its everything he needs. Filled with warmth, and no bad memories. The little black God flew out of his pocket and to the window, ignoring the cheese that’s waiting on him. Adrien could feel the sadness that practically oozed of the little God as they looked out over the city of lights.
The room became smaller and Adrien sat down at the floor, trying to think about all the techniques the shrink had given him. Breathing in and out. Focusing on each breath. Counting in and out. A tear slipped down his face. It hurt to be back. To be so close to her, and yet so far.
My Dear Chat
Things are changing, and I wish you were here to help me through it. I need you right now. I don’t know what it is that makes you shy away from me, and I wish I knew so we could talk through it. Get through it. Together. I miss you so much.
- Your Ladybug
“Plagg?”
His tone was raspy after years of minimal talking. But it got the attention of the little God. He could see the anger and bitterness fall away from the cat-god’s features, as he came closer to the young man.
He knew what he wanted to ask, but sudden anxiety took hold of him, and he looked down at the ring around his finger. The ring he hadn’t taken off in 13 years. A small smirk filled the God
“What? You don’t think you’ll be able to do it anymore?”
The challenge was clear. As well as the hidden blessing. The little creature was okay with his wishes. He almost even seemed happy for it. Almost.
My Dear Chat
I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, and to be honest I’m not okay with it. Not at all. I miss you so terribly much. It’s really awful to lose someone you’re used to seeing every day. I don’t know if it’s because of the promise we made. Because if that was the case, I hope you know that I wouldn’t have pressured you. Yes. I want the man I love to know who I am, but more than anything I just want him. You. Close.
I miss you.
- Your Ladybug
He had forgotten the pure rush of adrenaline and freedom that washed over him every time he transformed. Somehow managing to push it all away in a dark corner. He looked down on his suit and could almost hear Plagg purring in his mind. It had been 7 years after all.
Some transformation had happened during the years. The suit was still tight, but the bell was gone. Instead his chest was a little more on display. He couldn’t be sure, but he also thought it looked much darker black than last time he wore it. He opened a window and jumped out of the window. He was finally back.
Chat Noir was finally back.
The movements came back without much thinking. It was like riding a bike. Feeling the drop in his stomach, and know he would be able to catch himself. It was the definition of freedom. Tears of joy, happiness and sorrow combined slided down his face as he raced over the rooftops. Out of sight of the night wanderers down below. He didn’t want to be seen. At least not yet.
Tonight, would be his. And his alone.
He landed on a roof he and Ladybug used to meet up on when they didn’t want the attention you couldn’t get away from on the Eiffel tower. He had to swallow down the bitterness over the choices he made.
This was where he first had tried to confess to her.
Where she rejected him.
Where she led him back when she confessed to him a few years later.
Where they had shared their first kiss.
Where they had started to plan a future.
Together.
Chat turned around from the view and looked at corner they had used to sit in. Now it was all empty except a little box.
My Dear Chat
I don’t know how to tell you this. Or if you’ll ever see these at all. But I know I can’t keep this hidden from you, even if it’s a small chance you’ll ever stumble upon whatever this is supposed to be... I’m pregnant. I have known for a while now, and had just discovered when I wrote the last letter to you. But I didn’t know if I would keep it. Didn’t know if I would be strong enough. I was actually going to take an abortion before anyone would realise, but I couldn’t. I was at the clinic when I realised, she is all I have after you. I know it would be thought, but it would be even tougher not having anything after all our time together.
So, this is your daughter Chat. Our daughter. I hope she will have your eyes. I wish you would come back to me, I miss you so much
- Your Ladybug
Chat gasped as he read through the letter once more. Tears streaming down his face as he saw the picture hidden behind the letter. It was a sonogram. A little jelly bean clearly visible.
The stonewall behind his back was everything that kept him up.
A daughter.
He had a daughter.
He had a daughter! A daughter that must be almost 6 years by now. A daughter he had never met, and even worse. A daughter who had never met him. It was like a cold shower. Somehow, he had managed to be an even worse father, than he grew up with. And his father had been Hawkmouth!
Chat tilted his head back as he looked down at the box that was filled up with letters and took a deep breath. He had only read the four first in a row of many.
My Dear Chat
It’s hard. I had to tell my parents today, while still keeping this secret. They took it better than I had feared they would, but they were (of course) still disappointed in me. And that hurt. But I have to keep her, I can’t lose the only thing I have left of you. Al My best friend took me to the doctor. She has been really supportive even though she doesn’t know who you are. Who the father is. She finds me foolish to keep the child of a man that seems to have disappeared out of my life, but then again… This isn’t something anyone else could really understand. I have started to look at baby names, it feels wrong to not talk with you about it. To choose a name without your blessing, but she can’t wander without a name either. At the moment I call her my little jelly bean, or kitten. I wish you were here. I miss you so much, and I know our kitten loves you as well.
- Your Ladybug
My Dear Chat
This is my last letter in a while. I’m almost 8 months pregnant, and even though the magic of the Miraculous hides it from the outside world, Tikki has forbidden me to transform until a while after I’ve given birth. I’m scared… I know I have all the support I could ask for in my parents and friends, but I still wish I had you as well. I finally found a name for her. It was hard to settle on something, but in the end, I wanted to give her a name that would fit her. Adaline Nyx. It was the first movie we watched together, remember? The age of Adaline, and I remember how we both liked the name so much. Now you might wonder about the name Nyx… Well… I wanted her to have something that could really tie her to her father, and since we never got to share our real names and I couldn’t exactly call her Chat, I tried to find something a little more symbolic, but still close to you. It means black or dark night. Oh, I wish you could be here. I miss you so, so much
- Until the very end,
Your Ladybug
My Dear Chat
I got my wish! Adaline has your eyes. The most beautiful green. She’s already 3 months old, and is growing so well. Tikki loves having a small child to play with, and her favourite plush is a little kitten hoodie that I made with you in mind. She is so wonderful. My only wish is that she would maybe sleep a little more. A thing she has from you I believe. Waking up awfully early every morning. I’m really not a morning person, and if it hadn’t been for the wonderful support of my parents, I don’t know what I would have done. I still miss you terribly much, and hope you one day would come home to us.
- Until the very end,
Your Ladybug
Adrien didn’t notice the transformation ran out, nor the little feline God that dumped down on his shoulder as he kept on reading. The city of lights making it easy to read, even when he lost his night visions.
Tears streamed down his face as regret and anger with himself filled him up. How could he just leave her like that, without even telling her! But not in a single letter did Ladybug seem angry with him. Instead she gave him the details of the life of his daughter. Their daughter. And through her words he came to know the kitten he already loved with all of his heart.
The sun was starting to rise when he read the final letter.
My Dear Chat
I miss you so much, but it doesn’t hurt that much anymore… I think. Or maybe I’m just starting to get used to the constant heartache? I don’t know. Don’t know if I want to know either. I’m glad there’s so many interviews of you, that way I will always be able to hear your voice. That is the first thing you forget about a person you know, and I wouldn’t ever be able to forgive myself if I ever forgot you.
I was on the date I told you about in my last letter. The one my friend set up for me. An old schoolmate. And it was awful. The whole time it felt like I did something wrong too you, as well as myself, and it didn’t help when all I could do was compare him to you. It made me miss you so much more than I have in a while, and when I came home Adaline started to ask more about you once more. And that night I finally told her who you are. As you know; I have never hidden it from her, but until this point, I hadn’t said it out loud either. I’ve always told her about what a hero her father is, and when she got to know that you were an actual real-life superhero, she got so excited. It’s been such a long time since I’ve talked about you with anyone, and it gave a freedom I haven’t felt in what feels like years. She reminds me so much of you.
She has gotten so big, and smart! She just “graduated” from her first school year, and is soon to start in CE. This autumn actually, right before her 7th birthday. She is already talking about how much she can’t wait to go back to school… I don’t think there is much else to tell you at the moment. I know you will probably never read this, but it gives me hope. Love you with all my heart.
- Until the very end,
Your Ladybug
Ps. I promised Adaline I would try to give you one of her drawings. She made this after I told her the truth, and though she doesn’t understand everything she understands that you love her very much, and she wanted you to know how much we love you as well!
Behind the letter was another paper. The drawing Adaline had made him. Adrien looked down on it with so much love that you would think it held his whole world inside it. It was clearly made by a child. But he thought it was better than what was normal, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to do any better. The classical family portrait. Himself in the suit. The bell he no longer had clearly visible, as well as his big green eyes. Beside his drawn self was a small girl with the same green eyes and long dark black hair that almost had the same colour as his suit. And to the right of her a woman with the same black hair, and deep blue eyes.
He swallowed down the heavy load of emotions that flew up in him. It had been such a long time since he had seen her. The last couple of years he had tried his very best to forget her. Let her go out of his mind, believing she had gone her own way, but now? Just looking at a picture of her made him realise how little realistic that had been.
In the right corner Ladybug had scribbled down a date. Just two days ago. She had been up here on the roof just a few days ago. She still wanted to keep him updated, in case, as she said.
Adrien didn’t get a chance to think more about how he could pursue his Lady before his phone pinged. One new message from Nino
The Best Dude Ever: Hey, where are you dude? Please don’t tell me you forgotten me already?
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit. He had totally forgot. How could he not? He had just learned he had a daughter, for crying out loud. But he couldn’t exactly turn down his best friend. His only friend at the moment…
Model Dude: Sorry Nino! I didn’t hear my alarm, I’ll be on my way in a minute, just needs to freshen up real quick. Start ordering in the meantime!
The bell rang loudly when Adrien stepped inside the little cafe 20 minutes later, and walked over to where Nino had his back.
“Long time, no see” Adrien couldn’t help the smile of once again seeing his best friend, after 7 years out of the country.
“Dude!”
Nino got up and gave one of the good hugs only Nino could give, and Adrien was glad he hadn’t turn down Nino’s offer of meeting up.
Sitting down across from Nino, Adrien picked up the menu. Barely glancing at it as he looked at his friend. Nino had grown since he last saw him, and when he noticed the ring on his finger Adrien could feel the shame fill him.
“Congratulations…” he barely managed to say, his voice filled with the sorrow of not being there for his best friend.
Nino seemed to pick up on the different meanings in Adrien’s voice and smiled reassuringly down at the ring.
“Thank you. Alya is sure to show you so many pictures if you accept our invitation for dinner tonight. It’s weekly game night, and since Marinette is the one choosing she will surly choose Ultimate Mecha Strike III and you were always the closest one to beating her!” Adrien could hear the begging in Nino’s voice and shook his head with a silent laugh.
“You do remember she crushed me, right?”
“Sunshine!”
He was almost crushed by the tight hug given by Alya as soon as he stepped into the small apartment. It had been such a long time since he heard that nickname last, and he could feel the pride of the simple word fill his heart.
Softly Alya let go of him before looking up.
“I’m so glad you were able to come tonight! It’s been way to long since Marinette got beaten last…” her voice was serious, but she couldn’t hide the love in her smile as she talked about her best friend.
“Talking of… Where is Marinette?” Nino wondered as he stepped out into the hall to greet his best friend.
“She’s on her way. Probably being held back by Tom and Sabine so she can give us some good macaroons or maybe even a cake?” The smirk was clearly visible in her voice alone, even if Adrien hadn’t seen the dangerous smile on the brunette’s face.
The doorbell rang and Adrien smiled as Alya opened the door before crushing the women behind it. “Where is my cake?”
Laughter filled his ears as the petite women shook her head.
“And here I thought you actually cared about me”
“Of course, I do. And especially when you bring me cake.”
“If you say so… But it’s not much, Maman and Papa had a really good day today, and almost sold out. So, I suggest the winner takes it all!”
Her smile was so mischievous, and Alya looked so betrayed, that Adrien couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out behind his hand. And that was what made Marinette raise her eyes and meet his.
Blue.
So very blue. So very much like hers. He swallowed heavily as he pushed the thought away. Smiling down at the petite woman. She had grown as well. Not so much in height, but everything else about had changed. Grown up. Her face had lost a bit of its roundness, though it was still filled up with that cute blush she used to wear so much back in the days, who made her freckles sparkle like tiny stars, surrounding the sun that was her eyes. Her hair was also longer, braided back and hanging over her shoulder.
Adrien shook his head to back to the now, and hugged her as she came over. Her head fitting in perfectly right under his. "It's good to have you back" the whisper was barely that, and Adrien wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking or not as she stepped away from him.
"Okay. Who is ready to beat Marinette for the cake!" Alya laughed out in her most evil laughter (who sounded more like a cat getting something stuck in the throat). "I think you need to work on that one…" Marinette smiled as they walked over to the living room where the machines where already running, popcorn standing ready for them and fluffy pillows and blankets in the couch and on the floor.
Their tactics to distract Marinette got more and more ridiculous as the night went on. There were already a "no touching any other players"-rule, that sent Adrien's first thought - to tickle her – right out the window. But this was nothing new to Alya, and the booze was handed around. And one beer after the other it got more and more silly. Somewhere Adrien got the idea to act like one of his usual photographers from when he was younger.
"That’s it Marinette. Look at it like it's your mother's best spaghetti. You want it. Oh no! She lost it. It's all over the floor. What are you gonna do? You're sad, you want to cry" In the corner of his mind he could see how Alya managed to get in a few kicks as Marinette lifted one hand up to her mouth to cover her laughter.
Why did she do that? She had a wonderful, absolutely wonderful laughter. But it worked. And for the first time that night, someone else than Marinette won.
"YEEEEEEEEES! Victory! Victory!" Alya jumped up from the couch as she beat Marinette and Marinette fell to the floor dramatically as she clutched at her chest.
"No… How could you? I thought…" dramatic pause "you where…" Adrien smiles down at her performance as she finishes it off "my friend…" Her last words ebb out and she turns her head dramatically, before she remembers her hands are still clutched and lets them fall to the ground as well.
In the background he can hear Alya starting to sing "We are the champions" and his smile grows wider as Marinette opens an eye and meet Adrien's smile with one of her own.
"This is a great. Great day my friends. Today marks the day we finally managed to beat the one, the only; Marinette Dupan-Cheng. Today will go down in history!" Alya continued her over-the-top dramatic speech as Adrien helped Marinette up from the floor. Her laughter shaking her whole body silently as she looked at her best friend.
Alya must have felt like she was in heaven, because when she finished her long overdramatic speech, she threw herself on Nino. Sobbing and kissing him with everything she had as small "we did it, Nino! We won" escaped her lips.
"And I think that’s our cue…" Marinette whispered from beside him before they got out of the apartment as fast as they could. Still not soon enough…
They walked silent side by side as the warm summer night breeze ruffled his hair. Adrien could see his reflection in a shop window and was sure he had never looked more like Chat Noir. And that included when he played said alter ego in that music video all those years back.
"You're still living with your parents then?" he asked as he started to recognise the street, leading towards the bakery.
"No. But I usually sleep there when I've been at game night, that way I-" she stopped herself and Adrien looked down watching her features closer. "Let's just say it makes it easier…" she didn’t want to elaborate and Adrien knew he wouldn’t push her. Even though he didn’t understand what information it was she wanted to hold back, he would respect her. Knowing she would do the same if he tried to avoid a subject.
"This is me…" she sounded unsure, but met his eyes with a smile. "It was really great to see you again Adrien, I hope you show up to more game nights."
"Even though I made you lose?"
"Even though you made me lose!" Her smile was so sincere and Adrien smiled happily as she hugged him good night. Waiting for her to get inside before he walked on towards his hotel rom.
On the way back he couldn’t help but think about how good Marinette seemed. Though she had seemed a bit tired and stressed when she came in to the apartment, there was a glow to her Adrien couldn’t put his finger on. Hopefully life had been good to her. He realised he had no idea if that was the truth or not, as they had started gaming as soon as they got to Nino and Alya's place. Maybe he could ask her out for a coffee date. No. Just coffee, no date. He had Ladybug, and a daughter he was set on finding. How could he even begin to think the thought of a date with someone else?
There was simply something about her. Something he had never been able to admit to himself, and he didn’t plan on doing it anytime soon either.
Adrien started to get nervous. She should have been here five minutes ago. Maybe she had ditched him, chosen to not show up at his request of a lunch date. Maybe the only reason she said yes in the first place was because she felt obliged? Maybe she really didn’t want to spend any more time with him than absolutely necessary? Maybe she -his thoughts got lost as the bell rang and a clearly out of breath Marinette came in the door. Breathing heavily and rosy cheeks.
"I'm so, so sorry. I totally forgot the time! I just got so inspired and had to dot down some ideas, but as I started to sketch them out more and more came, and it was just a great experience, because I usually have a hard time getting inspired at this time of the year, but now everything flowed and, and, and now I'm babbling… I'm sorry" the girl was a true whirlwind in every sense of the word, and Adrien couldn’t hold back the small laughter over the old memories that flowed his mind by seeing her like this.
"I take that means you are still designing?" he smiled, happy to know she kept her passion over all these years. It truly was a heavy occupation but he had never believed she didn’t have what it took to make it.
She nodded and smiled coyly as she took a seat next to him in front of the window. "Yeah… It's been a rocky path, but somehow I've managed to make my own little mark on the world." She bit her lip nervously and Adrien couldn’t help his eyes wandering down to look at them, silently nudging for her to continue. "Actually, I opened my own boutique just two years ago. I mean it's still small, and it's nothing like Gabriel or anything. I mean, you could hardly put it up against each other, but it’s a start, right?"
Her eyes filled with a hope, Adrien hadn't seen in years struck him down and he nodded wordlessly. She was so much life. So much spirit. So much Marinette. And he couldn't do anything but love her for it.
He realised he should have probably answered when her smile started to falter and panic started to fill him up. No. He wanted her to smile like that. Like there actually was something good in this world. Her last words came back to him and he nodded frantically "Yes. Yes. Of course, it is. I mean, that’s amazing! You're only 26 after all, and to already have a brand and boutique is really amazing Marinette!" Her name slipped out of his mouth like silk, and he couldn’t help but wish for a reason to say it again.
"I mean. Gabriel didn't really become a brand until he was 39, and he managed to become one of the biggest names in the fashion world" his voice haltered a little as he suddenly talked about his father. "I mean… before he became Hawkmoth and ruined everything…" There was no anger left in him over the suffering his father had made for so many people. Instead his voice was filled with disappointment as he shrugged. Tried to fake a smile the way he did when posing for a picture.
His reflection showed him a smile that wasn’t nearly as bad as he feared it would be, but he could also see the anger in Marinette's face. Shit. It probably wasn’t the best idea to bring up his father. He gulped and turned around to meet her eyes, to come with some explanation. To tell her he was sorry. Anything. But she cut him off before he even got started.
"Please don’t do that to me." Her anger fell away to show sorrow he hadn’t noticed before. "I thought we where better friends than that…" she bit her lip and shook her head a little looking away. He didn’t realise what she talked about and tilted his head slowly as if to ask, but she continued on as if she hadn’t noticed it. "It's okay to be hurt Adrien. We are all hurt, and you have more reason than anyone. We all know it wasn’t your fault, that you had nothing to do with it. But don’t you dare do that to me! Don’t you dare send me that fake model smile of yours and pretend that you are okay! That’s not fair to me, and it certainly isn’t fair to you!" She took a deep breath as if to calm herself down and met his eyes once more. "You might've been gone for some years, but we are still your friends. Me. Nino. Alya. We will always have your back. No matter how much time passes by. You are not to blame for your fathers' crimes Adrien" A silent tear slides down her cheek and Adrien lifted a hand up to dry it away before a new one could slip.
She stopped and looked up at him with the saddest smile he had ever seen as she lifted her own hand up to hold around his. "Do you hear me?! You are not his crimes. And no one blames you for them." His throat curled up and made it hard to breath. He had to swallow down the tears that threatened to fall down and he nodded slowly. Unsure if he really believed the words she spoke.
"Say it…"
Her voice was nothing but a silent whisper but he nodded once more before licking over his dry lips "It wasn’t my fault…" It was barely more than a whisper, but the soft smile she sent him made it clear that she heard it. A bridge collapsed inside him as he grabbed her and hugged her tightly. Pressing his face into her hair as one hand flew up to the back of her head. Marinette stiffened and he was about to drop her and apologise when she lifted her own hands and held around him.
They didn’t touch the subject over the next few hours. The time passing by as they talked about everything else, they could think of. Nothing to personal, Adrien did everything he could to avoid that subject again, and it seemed as if Marinette didn’t feel any reason to bring it u either.
It wasn’t until Marinette's phone started to ring that any of them really remembered the time. She looked down on it and bit her lip nervously. "I'm sorry. I have to take this…" she said and stood to stand up. Leaving her things by before going outside to answer. Not before he could hear her last words though, "Hi honey"
It felt like someone had punched him in the gut and Adrien swallowed down the jealousy that soared through him as he realised, they hadn’t talked about relationships. But he shouldn’t be surprised. Marinette was wonderful, beautiful and attractive, as well as smart and kind. There really wasn’t much else to wish for in a woman.
The bitter taste as he once again remembered Ladybug hit him in the gut and he swallowed. How could Marinette have this effect on him? He was looking for his lady, and still she felt like a magnet dragging him in as soon as he met her just a few days ago. His mind always skipping between the two women as well as his daughter.
Outside the window he could see Marinette furrow her eyebrows before she answered something. The answer she got seemed to please her, because the wonderful soft smile soon ran over her face once more, before she hung up and came in once more.
"Sorry about that… I usually don’t take calls when doing something else, but…" She bit her lip and shook her head. "Look Adrien there is something I should probably tell you…"
He could tell by her body language alone that it wasn’t something she actually wanted to do and shook his head. "There really isn’t. I haven’t been here for years; I have no right to know anything about your love life. And as long as whoever he, or she is treats you right, then I have no reason to get any more information than what you actually feel comfortable to share. I understand there is parts of all of your lives I haven’t been a part of, and it hurts me just as much as it hurts you. But I can't redo all the mistakes I made in the past. So… so…" he fell out from the speech he just had as he meets her eyes and she smiled back at him. Her hand in front of her mouth as the softest laughter escaped her lips, and he could feel his cheeks heat up with blushing he couldn’t make go away.
"Well… while that is very kind of you to say that’s not the case Adrien…" she bit her lip once more and took a deep breath before she met his eyes once more. "The reason I have to tell you is because she will show up here and it would be really awkward if you didn’t know who she is… not to say she would be disappointed, since I have told her about you. I mean after all she has grown up with stories of you, and-"
She was cut off by something jumping up on her, and Adrien's first reaction was to take whatever it was and throw it away from his princess. Luckily, he took himself in it before actually following said reaction and looked at the little girl currently curled up in Marinette's lap. He was about to say something when the girl opened her mouth.
"Mom. Who is that?" Adrien could hear his blood run through his head as a hope he couldn’t really phantom grew inside him. "That’s Adrien darling. A friend of me, Aunt Alya and Uncle Nino." The eyes of the little girl hit him like a punch in the stomach as glowing green eyes met his.
His whole world spun, and he didn’t understand how he could have been so blind before. How he hadn’t noticed her the moment he met her. How her way to familiar stories hadn’t jugged his mind the right way. But as he looked at her now, he knew. He had found her. Finally, he had found her. He swallowed heavily, reading himself to tell her who he was when the other girl in front of him reached out her hand. He gulped and took one more breath as he realised now wasn’t the time, nor the place to do so. Instead he smiled down at the girl and took carefully her hand and shook it.
"Nice to meet you Adrien. I'm Adaline" Her voice was serious as if this was something, she had to be sure to do right, and he couldn’t help but crack a small smile before he took on the same serious expression.
"Hello Adaline. It's nice to finally meet you" her whole body seemed to relax and Adrien could see Marinette whisper a "thank you. I'll explain later" over the younger girls' shoulder.
"There you are. You can't just run away from me like that Adaline!" a big man came over to them, and Adrien smiled as Tom lifted up his granddaughter. "Come here little one!" he lifted Adaline of off her mothers' lap and hugged her.
"Grandpapa! Grandpapa. Guess what. Guess what?!" she almost buzzed with excitement and Adrien couldn’t help the loving smile that slid over his face. "Adrien is here! Adrien. You know… Mama, and Aunt Alya, and Uncle Nino's best friend!" she lifted her fingers up as she ticked of each name. "Isn't that cool?!" She smiled big, and Adrien noticed she had lost one front teeth, the new one yet to grow out.
The big man smiled down at Adrien and Adrien couldn’t do anything as warmth swallowed him in the hug of the man "Adrien. My son! How are you?"
The day was then spent over at the bakery where Sabine and Tom still had a booming business. And though Adrien tried to take his leave when dinner came, Sabine told him over and over again how he wasn’t in the way like he feared, and that they loved having him over. He was in their own words "Welcome any time he wanted"
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with them, it was just the fact that he wanted to talk with Marinette alone. Needed to talk with her alone. Every time Adaline called him by his name it stung as if someone was turning a knife in his heart. He wanted to hold Marinette in his arms. Hug her. Kiss her. Make her see him as well. Make her realise he was back. How sorry he was for leaving her alone. How proud he was of everything she had accomplished. But every time it seemed like he might get the chance, either Adaline, Sabine or Tom came over and he wouldn’t put her through having to talk about this in front of her parents.
After dinner Adaline started to get more and more tired, and Adrien volunteered to drive mother and daughter home. Slowly getting Adaline in to the back seat he got up and met Marinette's eyes. Her eyes searching his and he couldn’t tuck away the hope that she might recognise him after all. But the slight headshake, gentle brush and sad smile showed how she pushed the thought away as they got into the car as well.
"I can carry her for you if you want?" he swallowed deeply at the thought of lifting his daughter for the first time as Marinette bit her lip as she thought about it. "I know you are capable of doing it yourself, but if I carry her, then you could open the doors for us, making it a smaller chance to wake her up…" He hoped this reasoning actually made sense the way it did in his mind. Somehow it must have, because she nodded slowly before opening the car door. "Just let me take her out."
Her strong arms lifted the little bundle that was his six-year-old daughter before slowly giving her to him. The small arms of the little girl wrapped around his neck and he hugged her close to him as they walked up the stairs. "Top floor" he smiled as he said it, not as much a question as a statement.
"How did you know?" because you are ladybug. Even though you don’t transform as much anymore you will always be ladybug, meaning you would want an easy way in and out of your house that didn’t risk to much! "Oh… Your eyes darted up when I asked if you needed help" it wasn’t a direct lie, but he still felt bad about not telling her the whole truth.
Soon. Soon she would know.
They reached her floor and she went ahead to unlock the door on the right of the little step before they walked inside. Slowly kicking off his shoes before looking at Marinette for directions. She walked away into a corridor and stepped into the last door on the right where a pink room with big black dots waited. In the small bed a big Chat Noir plush-toy, that Adrien was sure Marinette must have made herself. Nothing store-bought looked that good.
Slowly and carefully he leaned down and put Adaline down into her bed. Her arms still strong around his neck, and he had to wiggle his way out. She made a sound in despair and Adrien could feel his heart break as he kissed her on the top of her head, before stepping away. Letting Marinette take over as he walked out into the living room again.
It was cosy. Warm and homily. A big worn out couch in one corner behind an old dark table. Pictures all over the walls of Marinette and Adaline. Some of them featuring Nino, Alya, Tom and Sabine as well. In most of them Adaline had on a cute set of black kitten ears and Adrien smiled with sorrow in his heart. Of course, there was no pictures of Ladybug and Chat Noir there. That would have been speculative and made people ask more questions than it was really worth. Adrien let his eyes wander on through the room and noticed a sewing machine and next to that. A small balcony filled with flowers.
"Thank you" her voice filled his head and he turned around in time to see her step out of the shadows, her hair now loose around her shoulders and he sucked in air to keep himself from kissing her right there, right now. "I suppose you want to talk?" so she had, indeed noticed his failed attempts at reaching out to her through the day.
"Yeah…" his thought got dry and he hummed slowly. "Do you have a glass of water I could get first though?" she nodded silently. Passing by him before walking around the corner into the kitchen.
"I'm sorry for not bringing her up earlier. I know I probably should have told you, it's just that…" Her voice shook and her back to him got stiff. "I love her with all my heart, I know I do. But it was just so liberating, for once not being the single mother. For once just being a normal 26-year-old and not have people judge me because of it." She smiled sadly as she turned around with the water glass in her hand, reaching it out to him. He nodded slowly before taking a sip and looked at the couch.
"Do you mind if we sit?" nerves started to fill him up and he gulped nervously. He knew what he wanted to tell her, but he had no idea how to bring it up. How to tell her. How she would react. And it wasn’t exactly like he could search it up on google either. "How to tell your superhero girlfriend that you are actually her superhero partner, and father of her child"…
"I was 19 when I got pregnant… Right after the defeat of…" she stopped herself, looking up at him as if it could trigger something. "Anyway… suddenly he disappeared, and I couldn’t get hold of him anymore. I knew he was okay because my kwa- my friend knows a friend of him, and that way I knew he was still alive, but I never heard from him again…" she took a pause and looked down on her folded hands, and Adrien wanted so badly to reach out to her, to comfort her, but he knew she had to tell him this, for her own sake.
"When he disappeared like that, I thought about taking an abortion, but when the day came I couldn’t. I couldn’t lose the last tie I had to him… And it was probably really selfish of me, but when Adaline came, I was so, so thankful. Because she is the most wonderful little human being, I've ever met…" she swallowed deeply and looked at him with uncertain eyes. Clearly afraid of the judgement she thought would come.
"I'm sorry… That must have been really hard for you…" he was about to continue when she took his hand "It's not your fault Adrien" she smiled sadly and held his hand a little harder.
"Yes… Yes, it is." He couldn’t sit any longer and fell to the floor on his knees in front of her. "Because I shouldn’t have left you like that okay? I should at least have had, the courage to tell you how bad I actually was for you. How you deserved so much more than I could ever be for you. And still I can't help but come crawling back to you now. I love you so much, and still I left. Still I left!"
Tears streamed down his face now as his green eyes met her blue ones. "I love you so incredibly much, but when the time came, I couldn’t face the truth. I didn’t even think about how it must have been for you. How much it would affect you, even if you hadn’t been pregnant. It was just so much, and I was a coward. I mean… how hadn’t I noticed? How hadn’t I discovered it? He was my father! My father!" Adrien gulped down the heavy feeling in his gut as his voice broke down and shook his head slightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know I don’t deserve you, and I wont pressure my way into your life. Neither you, nor Adaline deserves that. Just know how terribly sorry I am. And if you give me the chance, I will use the rest of my life to make it up to you both…" he had to pause. Had to get some air down in his lungs as he could feel himself starting to drown.
She didn’t say anything. Instead tears filled her eyes as she slowly, slowly lifted her hand up to his chin. Her lip trembled as she opened her mouth. Her voice heavy with feelings built up over years. "Chat…?"
"Yes, My Lady?" he couldn't keep the smile from creeping up on his face, as recognition filled her face. And then she threw herself at him, and their lips met as he fell backwards to the floor. His arms once again around his lady as she took his breath away. Her lips craving his as he pulled her even closer. Her hands in his hair as she messed it up. And her lips still on his.
It was ultimately broken by a hiccup from Marinette and as she pulled herself away from him tears streamed down her face. "You stupid, hopeless allycat!" he didn’t see the punch coming before her fist hit his chest. "How could you leave me like that! Without a single word non the less. How could you!" her voice broke and her hands flew up to her face, trying to shield her from the world around her. "I loved you" her voice was barely a whisper, and it broke Adrien's heart twice. He hated causing her so much pain, but he knew this was the only way.
Slowly he sat up and hugged her. "I'm so, so, so sorry Mari, I never meant to hurt you like this. I was confused and messed up, and I just couldn’t handle to let you know the truth. That I never saw it. That I could be so blind in my own home" he knew that he was repeating himself, but the truth was that ultimately he didn’t have any other defence. He had been so stupid back then, and if he could turn back time he would have in the blink of an eye. "Please, please, please forgive me princess"
He could hear her low giggling and looked down at her there she pressed her head in under his cheek. Her eyes met his, mascara run down with her tears and smiled slowly "You have no idea how much I've missed those words" she slowly got up and kissed his lips once more before resting her forehead against his. "My Chaton" and then her lips were on his again and he finally got to pull her as close as he wanted.