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By the time realization had dawned it had been one year to the day and I found I no longer had the strength to stay away, so I allowed myself to fly to you. Shedding my button down and shoes as I had so many times in your dreams before perching myself at the foot of your bed, mischievous smile spread across my face, waiting.
It didn't take you long to wake, your body recognizing it's soul like receiving a call from an old friend, a smile perched on your lips as your eyes met mine. It was extraordinary, until my true name fell from your lips and I froze for the third time in your presence, your eyes parted from mine (flashbacks of blood spewing from lacerations, [they had not been this bad in more than a year,] intestines and other internal organs strewn across the battle field, [not since I enveloped your soul,] wings ripped to shreds and feathers floating through the air while kin, [NO!] little sisters and brothers tear one another to shreds under orders from above, [NO!] orders until recently were revealed to be false.... [NO! make it stop.] written by the scribe of god, not ordered by Father himself.) I took a deep breath, reining the images in and shoving them to the depths of my mind but my didn't listen, all I could ask was why it was your favourite, why you had to remind me. But your response was simple; pointing out I had never forbade it and saying, not for the first time, it was truly my given name, no matter how I fell.
When your eyes shifted back to me your expression became pained as you saw how tense my body was, so you moved, slipping from your bed and stripped yourself bare, hips swaying as you give me a show, it distracted my vessel, forcing it away from the horror that had flashed behind my eyes. I became flustered in a way I had never experienced before. But I took it as it was, a moment for me to breath, to push back the pain Halel brought back.
Not a moment after I calmed myself you called, it was like a siren song, summoning your soul and my ever given grace, before I could think twice my vessel was moving, stripping my clothes like a common mortal, until it was bare as the day it was conceived. When awareness had returned to me I was slipping into your shower, heat rising up my chest spreading across my cheeks, I dropped my eyes in fear of you realizing I had never truly shared myself with another, that before you and your soul I never cared to.
(Of course most would say it was a lie, claiming my ability to fluster others had to come from somewhere, [but that would be the lie.] Since my creation I had been a servant, and when I was shunned I was forced into The Cage, all alone and the only ones to ever share my cell were Sam Winchester and my brother Michael. Needless to say I was exuding a single-minded rage, torture the foremost thought in my mind.)
After a moment you called once again, shaking me from my reverie, hands spread across your supple body and I could no longer dwell on my past. I took the hand you offered me and let you pull me into yourself, your lips brushed mine, softly, delicate, explorative and I gave in, melting into your touch, allowing my vessel's hands to spread across your slick skin.
It was better than the dreams led me to believe, to have someone actually touch me like I was wanted, no pain, no hatred just... dare I say 'love'. It felt so good I allowed myself to become lost in your touch, your hands sliding into my hair and down my flesh clipping a nipple and causeing a wine to slip from my throat. My vessel was not prepared for the sensations but it gave in anyways, split tongue stroking yours, hand slipping between us, mimicking yours as you touched my cock I touched your sex.
It didn't take long for heat to build in my core, you must have been in the same boat because you broke the kiss, trailing nips and soothing kisses across my throat, breathless praise pressed into my flesh, then my name slipped from your lips on a moan, causing the heat to expand, to bubble up my spine and rip the orgasm from me.
I took a moment to bask in the afterglow while regaining my breath, before paying it forward, fingers gripping the base of your skull, pulling you back into a kiss, split tongue mapping your mouth out, stroking yours, my breath coming in wintry pants, while my hand worked your sex, sensation wrecking your body as you came.
Minutes later I found myself in your bed, limbs intertwined with yours as you quickly drifted off, leaving me to silently keep watch.
~~
Later in the midst of your of your bed, hours after you fell into a deep sleep, I would look back on this day, as the one my true name wasn't tinged with agony, were you gave me hope and reminded me, the fall hadn't taken ALL my worthiness away.
~~
I took a moment to breath before allowing my nights revelation to be told, explaining I no longer had ill against you calling me by my true name, or any of the others that had slipped from your lips, you brightened even more, as if looking into that same supernova your soul and my grace had created within me, but this time it wasn't terrifying, it was stunning, It was proof some small piece of humanity could be precious to me.