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"Do you think Dr Fell's husband is safe from Dr Crowley?"
Eve all but tripped over her own feet at those overheard words, and was only saved from going headlong down the stairs by the student behind her grabbing her by her coat.
"Thanks."
"No worries," he said, letting her go the moment she was steady again.
She darted down the rest of the steps before she could trip over her feet again, and reached the floor with relief. She had an hour to kill before her next lecture, so she headed for the break room with its vending machines, chairs, and tables. She wasn't the only one heading that way, several others passed her, including the student who'd grabbed her. He appeared to be a few years older than most, so like her, probably not a first year.
"You ok?" he asked, as they queued for the coffee machine. "I assume that was about-"
"The rumour, yes. I'm fine."
"I thought they were together?"
That confirmed how long he'd been here, in Eve's eyes. She shrugged. "They are."
"Do you think they know about...?" he waved a vague hand.
Eve tried not to roll her eyes too hard. "Oh, they probably think it's hilarious."
His mouth twitched as he grabbed his coffee and looked round for a table. "Can't really disagree with them there." He headed for an empty corner table, and slid into the far chair with his back to the wall.
Eve grabbed her coffee, found a table of her own, and dug out a book to read. She couldn't stop her own mouth from twitching in silent, proto-laughter either, because Dr Crowley was right. This was going to be truly hilarious when the first years caught on.
The first year logic, as far as anyone could gather, ran something like this:
Fact 1: Dr Crowley had been caught looking at Dr Fell with adoration, affection, and/or love.
Fact 2: Dr Fell was married.
Conclusion: Dr Crowley intended to break up Dr Fell's marriage in order to take him for himself.
Second year, and upwards logic ran as follows:
Fact 1: Dr Crowley had been caught looking at Dr Fell with adoration, affection, and/or love.
Fact 2: Well, obviously, they were married. To each other.
Conclusion: How on earth did we miss it the first time round?
Crowley reached his car to find Aziraphale standing beside it talking to a stranger with every evidence of interest. He leaned against it and rested his arms on the car roof. "Let me guess, angel? You met the new professor?"
The stranger, a young woman with loose dark hair, glasses, and a long dark-green dress turned at the sound of his voice. She stuck out a hand. "Dr Anathema Device. History and Philosophy."
He freed a hand of his own and shook briefly. "Dr Anthony Crowley. Botany." Aziraphale pouted slightly and Crowley sighed. "She's a colleague, angel, not a student to be pranked."
"You're his Anthony?"
"Yep." He opened the driver's door and slid in with a grimace as his knee protested the move.
"You're not what I imagined."
"I rarely am."
"Anthony. She was talking to Gabriel. I thought we ought to clear up a few things, before..."
"I see." Crowley leaned his head back, but stayed in the car. "I suppose you also volunteered me to take her to whatever you invited her to. What was it? Dinner? Drinks?" In the mirror, he saw her face tighten, whether with fear or with anger he couldn't tell, but he was too sore and tired to mince the words further.
"Behave, dear," Aziraphale said, but there was no bite to the scold. "I offered tea. At home."
Crowley responded with the long-suffering sigh of the partner-who-drives, "Fine. Get in if you're coming." He closed his door and pretended not to notice Dr Device taking a photo of his numberplate before she got in the back. Whatever made her feel safer was fine by him.