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Buck sees them laughing together. Sees the way she leans against Eddie’s shoulder and looks up at him. He knows the look. It’s one he’s seen on countless faces he’s brought to his bed. Faces with names he doesn’t remember now. That all feels like so long ago. He was a different person then.
The man he is now wouldn’t be able to do that. Hell, he doubts he remembers how to pick someone up. Not that he wants to anymore. He realized a while ago that the only person he wants is the one person he can never have.
But damn does it still hurt to see him with someone else.
He stands suddenly, ignoring the looks and questions his friends throw his way, and makes up an excuse about needing air. It’s a lie. Not really. Breathing has become a lot more difficult. It’s best that he leaves before he makes a full of himself. Before it comes obvious just what he’s feeling and he ruins his friendship with Eddie.
He steps outside into the brisk night air and inhales deeply. It calms him, but only a little. He can see through the window of the restaurant how the woman still has herself thrown over Eddie. He’s frowning, but that does little to comfort Buck. If it’s not her, it’ll be someone else.
“Buck.”
Buck sighs at the sound of Maddie’s voice. Of course she would follow him outside. She knows how Buck feels. Hell, everyone probably does by now. Everyone except Eddie. He’s fine with that. If Eddie doesn’t know they can still be friends and he won’t lose him. Won’t lose Christopher.
“Is this about Eddie?” Maddie asks.
“Of course it is,” Buck mutters.
“You know he was worried when you left,” Maddie says.
“Because we’re friends, Maddie. He’s worried about his friend. That’s it.”
“You don’t know that,” Maddie says.
“Don’t I?”
"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" Maddie asks. It’s not the first time she’s asked him. He’s always just blew it off, making up some excuse. But right now he feels like he’s breaking.
"Because it's Eddie!" Buck shouts. "Eddie who is amazing, and not just some guy I want to hook up with! But who I'm hopelessly in love with, and is my best friend. And I do not want to screw this up because there's no way he could feel the same way!"
Maddie's gone silent. She's not looking at Buck, but somewhere over his shoulder. "Buck..."
Buck feels his stomach drop, cold dread settling in. He can't even say the words, can only mouth them and hope she understands.
"He's there, isn't he?"
Maddie nods.
"Maddie can you take Christopher for me?" Eddie asks. "Maybe to get some ice cream?"
"Sure," Maddie says. She squeezes Buck's shoulder as she moves by, mouthing a silent "talk to him."
Christopher smiles as they pass and gives him a thumbs up. Buck isn't sure what he's supposed to do. It's bad enough that Eddie heard and is about to turn him down. But Christopher knowing?
"Buck?"
Buck sighs and turns to face him. "Look, you can you just let me down and then we can go home and forget this ever happened?"
Eddie steps closer, and shakes his head. "Why would I want to do that?"
"Because you're not an asshole who would rub my feelings in my face?"
Eddie smiles. "I'm not. But I don't want to forget it happened either."
"What?"
"Is it really so hard to think that I could love you?" Eddie questions.
Buck's head is spinning. He knows he should say more, but all he can do is question Eddie. "You love me?"
"Apparently it is hard to believe," Eddie sighs. He moves his hand to Buck's shoulder, much the same way it was when he told him he trusted him. Except it slides up, brushing across his skin as it moves to the nape of his neck. Buck can't stop the sharp intake of breath at the contact.
"I love you, Evan," Eddie says, voice soft but firm. Just like his eyes, which are boring into Buck's. "I love you."
Buck moves without thinking. He kisses him like he's been wanting to for so long, the need growing with the realization of how much he loves this man.
Eddie pulls him closer with a hand around his waist, and Buck gasps. He feels Eddie smirking against his lips and regretfully pulls back. "What?"
"We're causing a bit of a scene," Eddie says. "People are staring."
"Let them stare," Buck mumbles, before moving back in and claiming Eddie's lips. He's been depriving himself of this, thinking it was something he could never have. He's not going to stop kissing Eddie now. Not until...
A throat clears behind them, and Buck's eyes widen at the familiarity of the sound. They both turn to see Athena standing there, Bobby at her side.
Athena is at least attempting to look stern. Bobby on the other hand is grinning.
"As happy as I am for you, I hope I'm not about to drag you down to the station for public indecency on my day off," Athena says, looking between the two of them.
"Who says we're being indecent?" Buck asks.
Bobby raises an eyebrow in a really ? gesture, and Athena nods her head down. It's then that he notices his hand is on Eddie's ass.
He pulls it away, feeling his face heat up. "We may have gotten a little wrapped up in the moment."
"I can appreciate that," Athena says. "Just save the ass grabbing for the bedroom, and somewhere a little less public. Preferably not in front of your son."
"My son?" Eddie says. He looks around and groans tucking his head against Buck's neck.
"What?" Buck questions, looking around in the same manner. His eyes widen when he sees Maddie sitting with Christopher a few feet away. He's smiling and eating his ice cream. When he sees Buck looking, he waves.
"In front of my ice cream, Buck? Really?" Maddie teases.
"I'm never going to live this down," Buck sighs.
"It could have been worse," Eddie says.
"How?"
"It could have been in front of her salad."
Eddie laughs and Buck swats his arm. "That was horrible. You're horrible."
"But you love me," Eddie says, the grin never leaving his face.
Buck sighs. "I do. I really do.”