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The colder seasons at St Agnes were hardly bearable. With as little as Adam could afford, space heating wasn’t high on his priority list despite him getting a bad cold that one time. It was something he had to push through, in his mind. Something that would be over again when spring introduces itself.
The colder seasons at St Agnes were agonising but they were even worse during the nighttime, when Adam had nothing to cover himself with but the flimsy blanket he brought from the trailer, one of the only possessions he still had from that time.
Usually, Adam would just wear layers upon layers of clothes, making sure he wouldn’t freeze to death in his sleep. This time, however, he had pushed laundry day so far that he had washed all of his dirty clothes earlier that day, not holding into account the cold sweep Henrietta would have to endure. He had nothing to wear but a thin t-shirt and some sweatpants.
When the tell-tale knock of Ronan Lynch sounded on his door, he felt nothing but relief rush through him, leaving him a little bit warmer than before.
Adam padded across the cold wooden planks of St Agnes, careful not to step on the few hanging nails he could now locate with his eyes closed.
He opened the door quickly, shivering against the cold Ronan brought with him from outside. His leather jacket was wet with rain. Ronan spared him a quick raise of one eyebrow, Adam identified as meaning “what the fuck is wrong with you”.
“It’s fucking freezing in here,” Ronan complained. “This is getting absurd, Parrish.”
Adam shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll survive.”
“I won’t.”
Adam’s raised his eyebrows. He almost wanted to ask since when Ronan thought of his little apartment as something he had a say over, but there was something familiar in having Ronan in his space, something almost domestic. Ronan truly felt like he belonged in the apartment above St. Agnes church, like he belonged in the space Adam had created for himself.
Ronan cringed for a split-second as if he had just worked out the implications of it and regretted ever speaking.
“I was about to sleep so if it bothers you that much I suggest you go back to Monmouth.”
A thunderclap sounded in the distance.
“I’ll manage,” Ronan murmured.
Ronan took off his leather jacket, only to reveal a big black hoodie, hanging from Ronan’s frame. Ronan folded his jacket into a make-shift pillow and rubbed his hand over hoodie-clad arm for warmth. It was a little big on Ronan making him look less threatening than normal. Adam could tell that the hoodie was high-end if the big logo on the chest was anything to go by. But it looked comfortable, dry and warm and Adam suddenly felt a big need to cuddle himself against Ronan.
Adam flushed at the thought and hoped Ronan didn’t notice.
He did.
Ronan took off his hoodie in one fluid motion and threw it at Adam’s face, mistaking the flush creeping down his neck for cold and not embarrassment for thoughts he shouldn’t have for one of his best friends.
He had been right. The fabric was soft and warm from Ronan’s skin. Even from holding it in his hands Adam already felt warmer than before. But this didn’t distract him enough from the confusion of having a piece of Ronan’s wardrobe in his hands.
“Why?”
“I’m not gonna bury your body when you freeze to death, Parrish,” Ronan said, but his tone was softer than his words. “I have better things to do.”
Adam hesitated for a second. Ronan looked at him, seemingly glaring but when he took a closer look, Ronan’s eyes were flitting around uncomfortably and he was gnawing at his leather bracelets in a nervous habit Adam had long learned to recognise.
Adam pulled the fabric over his head without thinking twice and was immediately engulfed in the Ronan’s scent; a mixture of expensive aftershave, leather, and something that was purely Ronan.
He should have felt more apprehensive, borrowing something from Ronan because his own clothes couldn’t provide him with the warmth he needed. But the corners of Ronan’s mouth were pulling up and he looked all too pleased with seeing Adam in his clothes. Or, well, a hoodie that was too big on Adam’s lanky frame, falling past his thighs in length.
“Thank you,” Adam said begrudgingly but earnestly.
Ronan smiled for real this time.
Adam turned away quickly, getting underneath his blanket before Ronan could see his cheeks burning. He burrowed his face in the soft fabric and inhaled again feeling more content than he had in a long while. The scent of Ronan relaxed him to the point of his eyes threatening to fall close within seconds of lying down.
Ronan dutifully took his place next to Adam’s mattress.
It was then that Adam realised he had taken the only thing that could provide Ronan with warmth from him. Adam watched for a second as goosebumps rose on his naked, pale arms before he cleared his throat.
“Ronan?”
Ronan turned his head and found Adam’s eyes immediately in the dark.
“You can join me,” Adam said, his heart thumping against his chest. “If you want.”
Adam thought he saw a tinge of pink dusting Ronan’s high cheekbones but averted his gaze quickly when Ronan stood up. He hesitated before the mattress and Adam scooted over, drawing back the blanket a little in a clear invitation.
“Any time now, Lynch.”
Ronan rolled his eyes and got in, his side plastered to Adam’s front.
Adam had either misjudged how broad Ronan was or how tiny his mattress was with two people trying to lie on it.
Ronan laid stiffly, not moving a muscle while Adam wiggled around, trying to create some space for the both of them.
“I can sleep on the floor,” Ronan offered but it didn’t sound like it was something he was keen on doing.
Adam’s movements halted and he let out a soft “no”, rubbing his eyes with his fingers that were just barely sticking out Ronan’s hoodie.
When he looked up Ronan was staring at him. Lightning lit up the room and for a split second, Ronan’s bright blue eyes captured his, pulling him closer by their sheer force.
Adam shuddered when the rainfall became heavier and the wind picked up, sneaky through the nooks and crannies of St. Agnes.
Turning to his side, Ronan now completely faced Adam. Their legs intertwined by accident but Adam didn’t move and neither did Ronan.
Up close, Ronan was softer, suddenly very real and very touchable compared to the god-like state he was usually in.
Adam reached out slowly, tracing Ronan’s jaw with a single fingertip. Ronan shuddered but Adam guessed it was not from the cold.
He took Adam’s hand in his. Ronan’s hand was shaking lightly but he held on and Adam didn’t let go.
“Go the fuck to sleep, Adam,” Ronan whispered, closing his eyes.
The next morning Adam didn’t comment on how he had stared at Ronan’s eyelashes and the shadows they created on his cheekbones until he fell asleep and Ronan didn’t comment on how he had pulled Adam closer in his sleep, pressing his face against Adam’s neck.
They didn’t talk about how they had woken up, Adam nestled in Ronan’s arms, one of Ronan’s hands in his hair. They didn’t talk about Adam’s face buried in Ronan’s chest and his arms around his middle.
They didn’t talk but they gave each other a private smile over shitty coffee during breakfast and Ronan made Adam keep the hoodie so he wouldn’t “die a cold death”.
Later that evening, after school and work had worn him down, Adam pulled on Ronan’s hoodie, took in Ronan’s scent and fell asleep with something new blooming in his chest.