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So, apparently, the whole trial had been broadcasted via magic around Melromarc for all to see.
That would have been nice to know beforehand.
Naofumi barely bit back a sigh as he was stopped by what felt like the five-hundreth old lady in a row trying to give him a "basket of goodies." Apparently all the sweet old ladies of Melromarc had a soft spot for twenty-year-olds who'd somehow managed to retain their, uh, innocence, for so long.
'Dammit, Mom, you've ruined my life!' He thought as he took the offered item reluctantly. Unfortunately, he also had a soft spot for sweet old ladies. Well, Filo and Raphtalia liked the stuff that was in the baskets, so he'd just give this one to them too.
He was in the middle of waving goodbye to Sweet Old Lady #500(?) when a familiar voice caused him to cringe.
"Hey, Fumi-chan!" The spear hero shouted enthusiastically, popping out of god knows where.
"Shut the hell up, Motoyasu," Naofumi responded with his own customary greeting for the blonde.
"Aw, don't be like that," Motoyasu said cheerfully, patting the raven-haired man's shoulder good naturedly. After his secret had been revealed, whatever aura of menace he had managed to gain was no longer taken seriously by the entirety of the population of Melromarc.
Joy.
"What the hell do you want, anyway?"
"I just saw you and thought I'd say hi! You know, since we're friends now?"
'And just when the hell did that happen?' Naofumi thought, giving Motoyasu an exasperated look.
The other hero, however, didn't notice it as his eyes landed on the basket he was holding. "Oh, what's that?"
Naofumi huffed at being ignored. "Just something some lady gave me."
And in a flash, Motoyasu was suddenly on high alert. "A lady? What lady?"
Naofumi didn't know it, but as he was "the most innocent innocent to ever innocent" (Motoyasu's words, not his), the other heroes had gained a protective streak towards him, especially when it concerned members of the opposite sex.
Naofumi, however, didn't notice said change in the other heroes and just became irritated at having to keep talking to the blonde. "Some old lady. I don't know what her name is."
Motoyasu relaxed as he understood. "Oh, I see!" He then grinned and gave him another clap on the shoulder. "Popular now, aren't you?"
"I swear to god, if you don't stop touching me, I'm gonna sick Firo on you."
Motoyasu immediately let go of his shoulder and put his hands up defensively, a sliver of fear appearing on his face. "Wh-Whoa, whoa! There's no need for that! Firo-chan has kicked me more than enough times!"
Naofumi huffed and, feeling the conversation was over, took a step to leave.
"H-Hey, hold on! I came looking for you for a reason!"
Naofumi cursed under his breath and turned back around to face him. "What."
"Well, I've been thinking. You could really use some protection. There are a lot of people out there who have a thing for virgins, sooo..." He smiled and pulled something from god knows where and presented it to him. "I got you this!"
Naofumi blinked.
Was that metal underwear...?
"What the hell is that?"
"A chastity belt!" The spear hero responded proudly.
"...And what the hell is a chastity belt?"
"It's something to protect you from all the perverts out there! Now, here!" He shoved the item into Naofumi's hands and then turned to leave, waving a farewell behind him. "Thank me later! See ya, Fumi-chan!"
"Hey, wait! And stop calling me Fumi-chan!"
But the spear hero was already gone as quickly as he had come.
XXX
Sometime after that encounter, Naofumi happened upon Itsuki and Ren eating at some local restaurant.
'Well, better than nothing, I guess,' he thought, walking over to them.
They both looked up at him, Ren holding up fork with some food on it and Itsuki drinking something.
"Iwatani-san," Ren said. "How are you doing-"
"Do either of you know what a chastity belt is?"
Ren dropped his fork and Itsuki spit out his drink.
"Where-" Itsuki coughed a bit and tried again while Ren just stared at Naofumi in utter horror. "Where did you hear about something like that?!"
Naofumi blinked in surprise and confusion. "Motoyasu."
"Iwatani-san, don't tell me he actually gave you..." Ren trailed off and cursed as Naofumi held up the item for both to see. "That idiot, to think he was serious...!"
"Thank you for telling us, Naofumi-san," Itsuki said, now oddly calm as he stood up and took the chastity belt from Naofumi. "If you'll excuse us, we're going to go have a...talk with Motoyasu. Are you coming, Ren?"
"Yes," the sword-hero said through gritted teeth. "Definitely."
Naofumi just blinked and stared as the two walked off, looking about ready to commit homicide.
"...They never told me what it was."
XXX
"Welco- Oh, kid, it's you," Erhard said as Naofumi walked in with a sigh.
The only other two occupants in the room, Raphtalia and Firo, turned to him with smiles on their faces.
"Ah, Naofumi-sama! You're back!"
"Welcome back Master! Did you get what you needed?"
"I have no goddamn idea," was the shield hero's response as he walked over to the chair that Erhard had kept nearby for him ever since he gave him that dreaded talk. He sat down and slumped. "Man, I feel tired..."
Erhard frowned as the two girls looked at Naofumi in concern. "Something happen?"
Naofumi sighed again. "The usual. I got free stuff out of it though, so that's good." He took the basket out and handed it to Firo, who looked overjoyed.
"YAY! I hope it's more muffins!"
"And is that really all that happened? You seem way more tired than usual," Erhard persisted.
Naofumi rubbed the back of his head. "Well, I also ran into that dumbass."
"...The spear hero?" Raphtalia asked.
"Yeah, that one."
"And?" Erhard prompted.
"And he tried to pawn of some 'chastity belt' thing to me," Naofumi huffed, not noticing Erhard freeze. "Still have no idea what that was..."
"....PFFFT! Hahahahaha!"
Naofumi blinked and glared as the man dissolved into a fit of laughter. "H-Hey, what are you laughing about?! Do you know what that thing is?!"
Erhard laughed for a few more seconds, but when he could finally breathe again, he wiped the tears from his eyes and gestured Naofumi to come forward. "Come here, kid, I'll explain it to you."
XXX
About an hour later, Motoyasu was whistling to himself as he walked down the streets of Melromarc, having just restocked his supply of healing items. One of Ren's party members had told him that he and Itsuki were looking for him, so he thought he'd go find them now.
It was weird, though. She seemed kind of scared.
"Hey, Motoyasu."
The blonde blinked at the familiar voice and turned around, smiling when he saw Naofumi walking towards him. "Fumi-chan! How's it-"
And that was all he had time to say before Naofumi kicked him in the balls.
