Chapter Text
When Makoto woke up, Ken was already awake in the first floor lounge. At one point, this might have surprised her. Now, she’d been hoping for anything else.
Koromaru sat at his feet as he flipped through the television channels. Another reason for her not to want to interrupt. But… no, Blue was right. She’d been putting it off for too long. If she kept doing so, she’d never get around to it.
It didn’t seem like he was finding anything he wanted on the television, anyway. “Nothing good on, today?”
Ken sighed, and let the remote fall to his side. “I guess, with the Film Festival going on, they don’t have to put anything good on TV.”
Right. Today was the last day of the Film Festival, at least for now. One set of movies hadn’t arrived on time, so that screening would have to be rescheduled for another day. She hadn’t seen what day it was, yet.
It must have said something about how busy she was that she hadn’t been able to go to that many movies. “Yeah, but that only works if you like the theme… What was today’s theme, again?”
“Oh, today they’re showing superhero movies.” She probably should have guessed that by how nothing superhero-related had been shown yet. She would have thought that would be a higher-priority than the origins of modernism. “I remember seeing the posters last year. They had a pretty big collection.”
They’d have to, to have these all-day showings. “The posters? You didn’t see the actual movies?” She would have expected someone his age to be all over them, especially if he had a shiny new allowance from the Kirijo Group to pay for tickets.
He shook his head. “It… felt too weird going there alone.”
Well, that was a travesty that Makoto was entirely glad to rectify. “So, would you be more comfortable if one of us went with you?”
“That- you’d do that?” He turned to face her fully, eyes wide.
“Why not? We can make a day out of it. Consider it a getting to know each other thing.” Maybe, if she spent enough time around him, she could build up the courage to talk about what she needed to. “I haven’t been taking full advantage of the festival, anyway.”
The point of traveling back through time, if Ken could say there was a specific point aside from individual goals, was to take advantage of opportunities that would otherwise be missed. The Film Festival met the criteria for being one of those missed opportunities.
He wanted to say he would have worked up the courage to ask someone else to go with him later in the day, but coming with Makoto worked, too. It was one of the differences between her and her counterpart- the two of them would never have dreamed of approaching the other for something that didn’t have to do with Shadows.
Two missed opportunities in one. Seeing these movies and interacting with the group’s field leader. If there were points to tally, he was sure they’d say he was winning at time travel.
It just… felt weird, following Makoto into a dark theater. It felt like there should have been less people. Like there shouldn’t actually have been any activity.
If he closed his eyes, he could picture an abandoned popcorn bucket rolling down the floor. That, he thought, would have been less strange.
He felt a bit better once the movie was playing. It was hard to focus on things being not right when there was a hero in a cape in front of him, pledging to protect people.
It helps that there’s no point in talking.
Ken chose to ignore his Persona’s voice, instead focusing on his soda. He’d gotten enough to last him through a few movies, if he paced himself correctly. If everything went well, he wouldn’t have to take a break until lunchtime.
If he focused on enjoying himself, he wouldn’t be able to think about what it was that bothered him.
Why else would it feel strange to be here?
It could be any number of things, like how this hadn’t happened last time. Like how he’d never actually experienced something like this before. Like how the ticket taker had said Makoto was nice for looking after her little brother, and they’d both felt too awkward to correct him.
We’re in a theater with someone close to him.
Okay, but that explained nothing. He’d done things with Akihiko before, and that was never any stranger than necessary. Their Personas had changed at the same time, in the same circumstances, and they’d bonded over that. The fact that Ken’s actions had deprived Akihiko of a sibling never even came up, beyond the first few days.
Mostly because neither of them felt comfortable talking about it.
They’d never gone to the movies, though. It was a shame, because the practical effects on this one were really good. Even years after release, it still stood up to basic scrutiny.
And yet, doesn’t it feel like we’ve been here before?
Kala-Nemi was becoming paranoid. That was the only possible explanation. Ken had never really interacted with Makoto before, in either timeline. And he definitely would have remembered coming to these movies.
When the bad guy fell, he made sure to cheer loud enough to drown out his Persona’s voice.
Eventually, they had to stop for lunch. Makoto decided to head to Wakatsu, because most people had at least one kind of sushi or sashimi that they liked. She didn’t exactly know Ken’s preferences yet, as her main way of figuring that out was to see what everyone brought home when it was their turn to get groceries.
As Ken was unlikely to ever be in charge of groceries, that left trial and error as the best way of finding out what he liked. So she’d start with the most varied menus and work her way from there.
Of course, that worked better when the person whose interests she was trying to analyze wasn’t staring at the paper menus like it would make what was written on them change. “Have you not eaten here before, Ken-kun?”
He shook his head. “I… usually just eat at the dorm, and back when I lived with Mom… we didn’t eat out much then, either.”
Okay. An opening. Makoto hadn’t expected that to happen so early. “Was she a good cook?”
“I think so… but I didn’t realize it back then, because I didn’t have anything to compare it with.” Finally, he made his selection. “Or maybe it’s just that I can’t have it anymore, and I want to remember it tasting good.”
Makoto wondered if she would have been able to relate to that if she had more memories of her parents. How well they cooked had not been on the list of things she could recall. She was choosing to interpret that as them either not cooking a lot, or being bad at it.
If it was the second one, hopefully it had led into the first.
Aunt Misaki wasn’t the best cook, either. She had about five things she could make well, and she made them on a rotation so they wouldn’t get bored of any one thing. Makoto hadn’t eaten any of those things since coming to Iwatodai, but she didn’t think she missed them. “You really miss her, don’t you?”
Ken nodded, because that was the obvious answer for someone who’d been orphaned more recently to give. “...I’d compliment her cooking, if I knew I wasn’t going to eat it again. I don’t even have her recipes, since the kitchen was so close to where…”
She wondered if he knew the house had since been rebuilt. She couldn’t imagine it making things any better.
What would you think if it was us that had been replaced?
“Do you remember what kind of foods they were?” That felt… safe enough, as a topic. “I think Shinjiro might be willing to try and recreate them, if that doesn’t feel too…” She had no idea how to describe what was going on between them. If Blue hadn’t told her it was a bad idea to let them sort it out themselves, she probably would have. If she hadn’t also made that promise. “...Okay, as things are now, it probably would be too awkward.”
“I-I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask.” This was either going to go really well or really poorly. “Makoto-san, how much do you know about-?”
“He told me the basics.” She wasn’t going to mention that he took her to where it happened, because she was still having problems thinking about that part herself. Particularly since he freely admitted that he’d thought she’d drop him as a friend after. And to having been suicidal. She was absolutely not talking about that with anyone else. “He- he’s still really upset about it.”
“...I know. He was going to let me kill him because of it.” Their orders couldn’t arrive soon enough. Even if it didn’t stop the conversation, good food made unpleasant topics less horrible. “I don’t know if I would have been able to do it.”
This wasn’t something they should have been talking about in public, probably. But no one was giving them odd looks, so they must not have been overheard. Or maybe everyone was just being polite.
Makoto forged onwards. “He was actually wondering why you didn’t stop it from happening.” Well. She’d said it. No going back now. “You wanted it to be a year, right?”
“Right. It was long enough for us to do what we wanted.” Their food arrived, finally. It hadn’t been that long, but this conversation felt like it had been going on forever. “Mitsuru-san’s grandfather wanted to invent time travel so he could play god. None of us… really wanted to be that much like him.”
She took a bite of her meal. It was good. Not good enough to chase away her words. “But did you ever think of it?”
“Akihiko-san did, actually. He brought it up to everyone.” Ken started eating, and then started inhaling his food. Apparently, a jumbo caramel popcorn wasn’t enough nutrition for a growing boy. He just paused long enough to add, “I didn’t think it was a good idea.”
It was really impressive how fast he was eating. She needed to make him keep talking, so he’d slow down and not choke. “Why not?” And then she continued with her own food. Fascinating conversation as this was, getting enough to eat was still important. Particularly if they decided to return to the movie theater.
She didn’t actually think they were going to return to the movie theater, but that was what she was telling herself.
Perhaps it all leads back there, in the end.
Maybe it did, but if anything, that felt like a reason to avoid it.
Ken flinched. “That’s… it’s complicated.” She could imagine, which was why she was regretting ever offering to ask. “I just… kept thinking about what she would have thought, if she could see everything I’ve been doing. And I realized… I didn’t feel like I could tell her about it. It wouldn’t have made her happy.”
And her being unhappy with him felt less suitable, in his mind, than her being dead. Makoto was not going to question that thought process. It could never end well.
Still… it was an answer. One that told her a lot of things.
Amada Ken was a complicated person. One that the appearance of the Justice Arcana meant she’d have to spend time trying to puzzle out. For now, she had something she could tell Shinjiro, so he’d stop being so confused.
…Actually, she had a better idea. “Do you think you could tell Shinjiro about this? It’s really been bothering him. I think he’d take it best if it came from you directly.” And then she wouldn’t have to witness a pair of guilt complexes colliding like trains.
…Okay. So that could still happen. But at least she wouldn’t have to play messenger girl for the inevitable disaster.
Compared to some things, that was already a massive improvement.
She still didn't think they were making it back to the theater after this.