Chapter Text
Makoto knew the inside and outside of Shujin Academy like the back of her hand. The kids who hung out around stairwell B and brought their skateboards to class, the ne’er-do-wells who made the rooftop their second home, the hall monitors who hung out in the staff lounge instead of fulfilling their duties. She knew their names, their years, and, of course, their grades, which were often less than ideal. She knew them even though she didn’t want to; she knew them because it was her job as student council president to police the student body from within the student body.
The academic culture of Shujin Academy was spearheaded by Makoto Niijima, and she kept close watch on the progress of her fellow Phantom Thieves, as a way of helping them blend in with the rest of the school. Not one to stand out in a crowd, Makoto enjoyed the peace and quiet, but ever since joining the Phantom Thieves, she found it difficult to rediscover what once was. Perhaps the life-and-death stress of her new occupation contributed to her inability to find peace. It once made her job as student council president more bearable, but now she considered it an unfortunate title to be stuck with. Having her ears opened to how the school manipulated her only exacerbated her position’s insufferability.
This wasn’t the first time Makoto found school to be less than ideal. Makoto would often remember how, as a first year, she was bullied by her fellow classmates for skipping the school dance to study for her first round of exams. Later that night, when she received anonymous texts from unknown numbers full of laughing emojis, Makoto decided to go to the dance after all, just to shut them up, only to be chastised by her classmates for showing up late and not being dressed for the occasion. She still had on her school uniform.
Makoto cried on the train ride home, her sparse makeup smeared across her face, but her biggest regret of all, even after the shame she endured, was missing out on quality study time. Her performance during the first round exceeded all of her classmates, and yet still she regretted not exceeding them further, to surpass them and make them regret crossing her. Her sister had always stressed the importance of setting the Niijima Standard high and above the rest from the onset, and Makoto agreed, as she too wanted to leave a good impression on the staff and her peers as “the smart one.” Having a reputation for being both intelligent and hard-working felt safe to Makoto, a comfortable enough identity for her to slip into and embody. She couldn’t act extroverted or bubbly or peppy around strangers, the only sport she had ever practiced was aikido, and her sister would kill her if she slacked off on her studies, which left her no choice but to live life as “the smart one.”
And in classic Makoto fashion, she took her chosen identity and goals seriously, striving tirelessly to succeed in her academics, at the expense of losing more and more of her social life. This gave her a reputation among the school as being cold, distant, and arrogant, singularly focused on having better grades than her peers and appeasing the staff’s wishes. Always aware of how others perceived her, Makoto felt powerless to change the tide of rumors.
“She thinks she’s better than us just because she tries in class.”
“Did you hear what she said to Hana about her grades?”
“I saw her hanging out with Ms. Chuono after school...”
“I heard she gets angry if you don’t call her ‘Miss President.’”
That’s not at all true...
“Shujin would be so much more fun without her around.”
“Maybe if she had more friends she wouldn’t be so stuck-up.”
“Well, she doesn’t interact with anyone outside of school. I’ve never seen her at the usual spots.”
“She’s why I never go to the library after school. She sits at the same table by herself, with her bags on the other chairs.”
I just like studying by myself...
“Have you ever seen the death glares she sends at anyone who gets near her library table?”
That’s... My face does that sometimes...
Despite her protests, rumors spread and spread until the whole school feared and detested Makoto Niijima. The student body had found their local witch to burn, but unfortunately for them, those who held power loved Makoto. The principal, teachers, secretaries, even the janitors loved her. They saw her as the ideal student, someone capable of taking orders without resistance, who took her studies seriously, and who held a position of authority over the students while being one of the students. She was the perfect candidate to groom.
But if she was up for reelection, Makoto would certainly lose. Back when Makoto ran for student council president as a second year, her campaign was nearly sabotaged by her one-time rival, Daisuke Nakayama, and his rumor-spreading habits. She campaigned on protecting the student body and working vigilantly to answer all of their concerns about local safety and fundraising, while her rival spent too much time attacking Makoto and not propping up his own credentials. But his mud-slinging tactics nearly worked. When Makoto narrowly won by popular vote, a chunk of the student body missed school in protest, unable to accept that the school’s most unpopular push-over now got to make decisions on their behalf. Her reputation changed from arrogant loner to tyrannical dictator, as every decision she made was met with sizable resistance. Her first course of action, to make the library a more silent workplace instead of a hang-out spot through more diligent enforcement of the school’s expectations, failed due to its unpopularity. Her second course of action, to clean up the graffiti outside, also failed, but not because the students didn’t want a cleaner school; it failed because every plan Makoto touched turned to dust. For a long time, Makoto resented the unmotivated and lethargic student body for their resistance; that is, before she met Eiko, and her feelings shifted from general annoyance to tolerance and, in some cases, a bit of sympathy.
“You have to work on your popularity, Makoto,” she recalled Eiko telling her. “Grades mean nothing if no one likes you.”
I know there’s more to life than grades... But when grades are all you know, everything else fades into the background.
Everything else...
Well, except for one thing.
Makoto’s mind drifted back to the conversation at hand. Eiko stood with her arms crossed, blowing gum from her mouth, a bit indifferent but nevertheless dispensing wise advice to her friend. Half of her attention was directed towards her phone, the other half towards Makoto. This was her usual demeanor, and Makoto didn’t see it as being rude. Eiko could tell Makoto was in a rough spot and needed her help. She would sometimes feel as if Makoto assisted her more than vice versa, but now that the tables had turned, she felt validated as a friend.
“I know, Eiko, I know. I don’t like being unpopular, trust me. That’s... Well, that’s why I reached out to you in the first place, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember,” she said. “I’m happy to help and all that.”
“Well, I’d still like to broaden my horizons. We kind of got... sidetracked before.”
Makoto parted her hair with her hand and took a long sigh. She remembered visiting the arcade with Ren for the first time and what it was like to try something new with a friend who cared. She even remembered her encounter with Tsukasa, how she stood up to him without fear, how Ren supported her through it all. It gave her hope, seeing justice prevail against Tsukasa’s manipulative nature. Ren had seen through his machinations, just as she had, and it gave her hope that together they could prevent further injustices from taking place. Together.
“Boy stuff does that,” said Eiko, with a tinge of resignation in her voice. “Boys always complicate things.”
“Sometimes...” Makoto lamented.
Eiko’s face twisted in confusion. Makoto didn’t seem like the type of person to prioritize romance over her studies or friends.
“Well, why don’t you ask Ren-kun for help? You know, your boyfriend ,” Eiko said, emphasizing the last two words with a cheeky grin while leaning in close. She sensed something was up.
“We’re not... you know we’re not, actually, dating right?”
Makoto looked taken aback, with her hand covering her mouth. Eiko began to laugh quietly to herself. Though their relationship was still a secret to the school as a whole, Ren and Makoto knew that they needed to stay careful and avoid any suspicions. Ryuji had found out only a few days prior, and Makoto was still nervous that he would spill the beans to anyone who would listen to him. Of course, Eiko would be one of the first to find out if the rumors made their way through school, considering she kept tabs on them like a secretary keeps track of office entrances. It was her specialty.
“You sure about that? I saw how he protected you,” Eiko blew her gum and attempted to stare through Makoto’s words. She had a knack for finding out the truth quickly. “And I saw that look in your eyes when he stepped in front of you. You have a crush on him, don’t you?”
“I...” But Makoto found it difficult to lie. “I do like him, yes, but that is all. Just a crush. I don’t know if I want to date someone right now. It might be... distracting from my... my studies, yes.”
“Come on, Makoto, you just said you wanted to expand your horizons! Your studies can wait,” Eiko laughed, mostly at being able to momentarily outsmart her friend. She grabbed her loose bookbag and watched Makoto’s face drop. “Well, he definitely likes you back. You gotta act on that! He’s kind of charming, he’s got good grades like you, he clearly cares about you...”
Makoto put up her hand slowly.
“Eiko, please stop. Stop now.”
“W-What? If you want to work on your popularity, having a boyfriend might help! That’s all I’m saying!” Eiko stammered. “And it seems like he likes you and you like him! That’s all!”
Taking a second to consider Eiko’s proposal, Makoto stopped the flow of conversation, noticing it moving in an uncomfortable direction. Her and Ren were dating, after all; but Makoto knew that announcing her relationship publically would damage more than it would boost her self-esteem.
“You really think dating the school’s delinquent transfer student would improve my reputation? Look at how people treat him!” Makoto yelled.
Makoto had always sympathized with Ren, but in this moment, she saw herself in his shoes, the subject of rumors about his violent tendencies. Everyone in school knew about Ren, just as everyone knew about Makoto.
“Listen, Makoto, people don’t like you because they think you’re all high-and-mighty and above everyone else. Showing that you’re dating someone with a bad reputation might change their minds,” Eiko reasoned. “And look at how people treat you, too! You’re really one and the same. I really think it would be cute, Makoto. Cute nerds like you belong together.”
Eiko turned away and blew gum again, her way of pondering the situation intently. She waited patiently for Makoto to respond, only to realize that she was waiting far longer than expected. Eiko put her hands on her hips and gave Makoto a long stare. Makoto shook her head at this, knowing that Eiko didn’t fully understand the ramifications of her request.
...Could she be right? Would it be better to just bite the bullet and go public? I can’t just make this decision on my own... Not now, not here... Not after we promised to keep our relationship a secret. I could never break that promise. But...
Makoto remembered the rumors, the laughing and snickering, the ineffectiveness of her presidency, and of course, the experience at her first-year dance.
Finally, and without thinking any further, Makoto opened her mouth.
“OK. I’ll give it a shot.”
Eiko’s eyes lit up. She spit out her gum and started clapping excitedly.
“Give what a shot?!”
Makoto immediately doubted herself, but it was already too late to back down. Eiko knew her too well, and she had seen through her friend’s facade.
“I’ll... I’ll ask him out. For real this time.”
“Yes!”
As the two friends walked together to their next class, Makoto’s mind wandered in an unpleasant direction. What did I just agree to? She touched her neck nervously, and as soon as Eiko left her side to go to History, Makoto took in a deep breath. She couldn’t help but feel as if she had made a grave mistake.
“I wasn’t thinking...”
Tears dripped down her face, but Makoto swatted them away in an instant. She was simultaneously aware of her own patheticness and her desperate need to be validated, but she wanted none of it. She regretted her entire conversation with Eiko and everything she said to her. She regretted telling her that she had a crush on Ren, she regretted agreeing to ask him out, and she regretted ever making friends with her in the first place, knowing with the benefit of hindsight that her rumor-mongering habits would lead to this.
I shouldn’t be bothered by my unpopularity... I do this for everyone, not for myself. I don’t need reassurance...
“That’s unusual of you, Makoto,” said Ren, turning to his girlfriend with a look of worry. “Usually you’re the one telling me to be more careful.”
“I know, but...”
“But... things were different today, weren’t they?”
Makoto paused and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes, watching the comforting darkness under her eyelids.
“Things were different today, yes. And I am to blame. It’s all my fault... It’s all my-”
“Stop, Mako. It’s okay.”
Ren stepped forward, slowly but surely, and let his hands wash over her tear-stained face. He directed her to Leblanc’s long counter, where the two could sit side by side. Behind the scenes, Ren had been brewing coffee for the two of them, even though it was late at night, as a way of enlivening the mood. He knew, based on Makoto’s text before she came over, that this night would be a difficult one. “I have some bad news... I know we weren’t planning on meeting today, but do you mind if I stop over?” she had said. He mentally prepared himself for the worst.
“I promise it’s okay,” he repeated to himself.
“You’re not angry, are you?” she asked.
Ren heard the click of the coffee machine. The sound consoled him, as it came at just the right time.
“One second,” he said.
He poured the carafe into their two favorite mugs, then prepared just the right amount of milk to ease the coffee’s bitter taste. He took a sip of his coffee, warm and tender, enough to soothe his temporary anxieties. He wasn’t angry, but he was, deep down, worried.
“I’m not angry at you,” he said with a light, passive tone to his voice. “I promise.”
Makoto exhaled as if she had been holding in her breath for hours. Ren laughed a bit to himself, to lighten the mood and push his worries further and further from his mind.
“You seem relieved,” he added.
“I didn’t want to jeopardize our relationship,” said Makoto, her eyes matching his. She hadn’t taken a sip of her coffee yet, but she grasped it with all her might. “You remember, right? We agreed, together, after our first date that we would always keep this secret. Not just for you, but for us. And now, two months later... we’re already breaking promises! Two months in! That’s bad!”
“No one’s breaking any promises.”
“I broke our promise. It was my fault...”
“Mako... I promise it will be fine. It’s all going to be fine.”
His mug hit the counter with a loud thud, enough to startle Mona resting upstairs. Coffee spilled from out the top and landed in a puddle nearby. Ren made a mental note to clean up his mess before Sojiro opened shop in the morning. Makoto tried her best to ignore it.
“How are you so sure?” Makoto pouted. “I wish I had your confidence sometimes...”
“I’m worried, too, trust me,” Ren reasoned. He picked up his coffee mug again. “But all you said was you would ask me out, right? Nothing else?”
“Yes.”
Makoto began to catch on to Ren’s thinking, as for the first time in hours a smile curled on her face. It exhausted her to feel so anxious, and she much preferred the reassurance.
“Well, what if I decline? Can’t I just say no and have us be done with it? Maybe we can even do it publically, so Eiko sees and stops bugging you about it.”
“I like your thinking, Ren. But...”
“But what?”
Ren stopped himself from cutting her off further. He thought his plan was flawless, after all, and couldn’t fathom Makoto’s potential disagreements. What could possibly go wrong?
Without noticing, Ren had been tapping his foot against the floor. He had tried to hide his nervousness, but evidently it wasn’t working too well. The first time he was caught tapping his foot, Mona jumped on it to get him to stop. It was in a safe room in Kamoshida’s palace, and Ren wanted nothing more than to put this whole business behind him. Before he knew it, his foot was moving and jostling to and fro. Makoto thought it was cute, and neglected to say anything about it until it got too distracting.
“But... I told Eiko I wanted to work on my popularity. If you rejected me in public, that would only make things worse.”
Ren was taken aback, but recognized her point. If she wanted to improve her popularity, a public rejection would definitely not help her out. It would probably ruin any remaining popularity she had among the student body. But why did she suddenly care about that?
“Since when have you minded your unpopularity, Mako? You’re unpopular, but you always do the right thing for everyone anyway, and that’s what I love about you.” He touched her face with the palm of his hand and cuffed her cheeks. He always did this as an affectionate movement. “You’re acting so different lately: first you weren’t thinking straight, now you’re all concerned about other people’s opinions.”
Makoto pushed him away before long, enough to startle Ren again. She put her head between her hands as Ren watched her short-lived happiness disappear in an instant. She arose and, with a look of despair on her face, glared over at Mona, who had been peeking through the staircase. One look was enough to startle him away.
“Listen to me, ok? Just listen,” Makoto began, making sure to have Ren’s full attention before continuing. She motioned her foot over his, and it stopped tapping. “I’m tired of being the student council president everyone hates and whose plans to better the school never succeed. I’m tired of being the subject of everyone’s negative rumors. I’m tired of being the honors student who doesn’t know how to have fun. I’m tired of it all. And... I don’t know if I could face rejection from you. Even if it’s fake. And then everyone would, well, they would laugh at me for being rejected, and for crying over it, and for being the loser ‘Miss President’...”
“Okay, I understand,” he interrupted, knowing well how risky it was to do so. “I know where you’re coming from. Maybe... maybe we can make this public, alright? I promise I’ll think about it. But don’t do anything hasty. I’m not... entirely committed to the idea yet.”
Makoto’s face reached full brightness for the first time in hours. Ren knew he had done something right to see that again.
“Thank you so much for considering my proposal. It really means a lot to me.”
“I can’t believe I’m the one telling you not to be hasty...”
It was the next day at school, a Friday morning, and the sun hid through the rainy clouds hanging loosely above Tokyo’s skyline. Makoto missed the sun on her walk from the train station through the front entrance to Shujin. She looked forward to feeling her face warmed by its rays, but today, she reasoned, would likely be a long, unfortunate day. It was an October morning, after all, and soon she would have to get used to seeing the sun go down earlier in the night. As the dark frightened Makoto, she knew this would mean she would have to get home earlier and earlier, so as to be comforted by her room’s various protective lights.
Despite Makoto’s uneasy feelings towards the day, thoughts of Ren and their relationship hadn’t crossed her mind much, except for on the train, when she considered what would happen if the two saw each other in the hallway. Would it be better to just ask him out and be done with it? No... Not without talking it over with him first. I just need to have a normal day of school... A normal day, without any complications... A normal, failure-filled day in the life of Makoto Niijima...
As Makoto walked through the entrance, she noticed Ryuji hanging out with a few members of the track team. They looked to be Nakoaka and Takeishi. It’s good to see they’ve made amends. That’s one success of this year, right? As she passed by them, she gave a polite wave in Ryuji’s direction, to which he responded with a head nod and a return wave. Nakoaka and Takeishi turned to see who Ryuji had been waving at. When they noticed it was Miss President herself, they immediately glared at Ryuji with concern and shock.
“You know her?” snapped Nakoaka, pointing over his back at Makoto.
“Yeah, we’re good friends,” said Ryuji, talking loudly enough for Makoto to hear as she walked further away.
“I didn’t think she had any friends,” said Takeishi. “And for one of them to turn out to be you, Ryuji, that’s a bit unexpected.”
“Yeah, talk about an odd couple of people to spot hanging out together,” laughed Nakoaka. At first, Ryuji didn’t get the joke, but he joined in with Nakoaka’s laughter just to fit in.
Makoto paid no mind to Nakoaka and Takeishi, but she would later text a thank you to Ryuji for having her back in the morning. Ryuji would forget to respond. Makoto didn’t take it personally.
I just have to get through homeroom, then History, then English... Biology, Social Studies, Math, student council... Why does the day have to be so long?
As Makoto found her seat in the homeroom of Mr. Yamauchi, she left her bag on her desk. Out came a moleskin journal, the one she had been carrying with her since starting her third year. Makoto picked up her favorite pen, opened to a blank canvas, and started writing her to-do list.
- Talk with Mr. Maruki about organizing another park clean-up day.
- Ask Mr. Hashino when and where the yearbook committee meets, so as to visit them before the book is finalized on behalf of student council.
- Address the allegations made against Mr. Hosoi.
- Check into the rumors about the drug dealings going on by the vending machines outside Mr. Kondo’s room.
- Prepare and perhaps, if I have time, rehearse my speech for the school festival. Remember to keep it short, sweet, and to the point.
- Research into more universities that specialize in criminal justice. I need to get on this more...
- Talk with Ozawa about updating the student council website.
- Address any new concerns in the student council dropbox.
- Complete daily homework and studying.
- Continue reading Never Let Me Go, to keep up with Ren.
- Make dinner for Sae and myself.
- Work to rectify my popularity.
Makoto’s black pen underlined that last point. It was the same point she always wrote at the end of her to-do list, but never seemed to follow through on.
With the bell’s sudden toll, Makoto closed her journal, tied the string back around, and put it inside her bag. The announcements had started right on cue, and as student council president, Makoto knew to always pay attention to the announcements. She listened as closely as she could, trying not to mind the two students whispering loudly next to her.
“.... and Mr. Kondo’s class will be performing an original play next week ....”
“.... the hot and cold lunches for today include ....”
“... make sure to stay after school next Thursday for our annual ....”
Makoto could barely make them out, but she could hear her neighbors crystal clear. They were talking about hitting up the mall after school and maybe going on a double date sometime this weekend. They wanted to look their best, so the first student was going to wear the new dress her mom bought her, and the second student was going to wear the new dress her dad bought her. Turns out the two matched and it was a total coincidence, to which they laughed about for a minute or more.
“Can you two stop?”
Makoto sent them a death glare. She noticed the entire room manifest as it turned to face her. She felt the weight of a dozen judgmental eyes at once.
“Mind your own business, Miss Prez,” said the first student.
“Yeah, can it,” said the second one. “This doesn’t concern you.”
“I just want to hear the announcements in peace, but when you keep talking-”
“Quiet down over there, you two,” said Mr. Yamauchi, motioning to the two students Makoto had argued with. Makoto, though still a bit flustered by the confrontation, smiled in approval and continued to listen to the announcements, only to recognize soon after that she had already failed her twelfth to-do list point.
I can’t rectify my popularity by having teachers side with me all the time... But... it’s my job to care about the announcements, it’s my job to be on top of the news. I have to do what’s right before caring about popularity, right? Right?
“And make sure to buy a raffle ticket for the ‘Principal for a Day’ fundraiser for the school band, starting today! Win the chance to make and change the rules however you like for an entire day of school! Imagine all the possibilities! ....”
A surprise fundraiser? I didn’t know anything about that... And what a unique opportunity they’re offering... I’ll have to buy a ticket. Even if I don’t win, I have to hope no one with unruly intentions gets that kind of power...
Makoto looked at her neighbors, who had continued whispering to each other but at a slightly lower volume. She looked at the rest of the classroom, either head submerged in their phones or talking with someone nearby. Upon hearing this announcement continue, though, Makoto’s neighbors’ ears perked up.
“Oh, that sounds like fun,” said the first student. “Just imagine what I could do if I were the principal for a whole day. I could make the vending machines sell good shit for once, and maybe I could boss around Miss President!”
“I’m definitely getting a ticket, too, but I’ll give it to you,” said the second student. “I don’t really want to be principal, but it’ll increase your chances!”
Makoto, not one to feel despondent over a competition, opened her phone and saw four unread messages. That’s unusual...
“Principal?” from Haru.
“New fundraiser?” from Ozawa.
“Are you...?” from Ann.
But she opened first to Ren’s chat history.
“You’re gonna buy a ticket for that fundraiser, right?” he had said.
Makoto remembered yesterday's conversation, how Ren had agreed, a bit begrudgingly, to help her become more popular. I need this. In a hurry to get to her first class, Makoto held her phone tightly and typed faster than her fingers were used to.
“I’m going to win.”