Work Text:
seokjin knows yoongi. knows yoongi secretly loves affection. know he wants his hand held at all times. knows the right and wrong times to try and wake him up. knows that drinking with him so late at night after an exhausting day is not a good idea.
but who needs good ideas when you can see your best friend and roommate relaxed and comfy and just happy to be in the moment. jin knows he would rather give up any good idea he’s ever had for these nights.
the nights when everything is calm and serene and quiet and warm. the overall warmth that fills his body when he gets to see yoongi like this. his yoongi. he would do anything for his yoongi. he would do anything to see him not overthinking, not working himself too hard, but to just be in their room, together and calm and unbothered. he would do anything to see him happy.
but yoongi doesn’t know that. can’t know that for many reasons.
one: they are in an internationally famous group.
two: they live in korea, not a place known to be the most accepting.
three: yoongi and jin have always, and always will be, best friends. only best friends.
jin knows you can’t really date in this industry, at least not without people knowing about it. and you especially can’t date another member of your group. not your best friend. not your roommate.
he remembers meeting yoongi that first day. he remembers being so interested in him, not really understanding why he had a sudden pull to him. so he made it his mission to become best friends with him.
he wasn’t really stealing him from everyone else, he would just try, at any chance to talk to him, to sit or stand next to him, any time with yoongi he had to learn about him more, he took.
so when they ended up roommates, seokjin was glad. he got to spend more time with yoongi, even if most nights he would not return until late, always spending time in the studio.
another thing yoongi did not know, was seokjin always stayed up for him when he did not return from the studio. at least waiting for a call or text if he was going to stay there. he just always wanted to make sure yoongi was safe.
he is really subtle about being worried about him, always ‘getting too much food’ just to purposely share it with yoongi. sometimes ‘accidentally’ finding his way to the studios to check on him. staying back from the rest of the group when he notices yoongi hanging back, either trying to work more or struggling with something they went over that day in dance practices.
just so yoongi is never suspicious, he tries to treat the rest of group the same. he doesn’t want yoongi to feel suffocated by him, so he makes sure to take care of the whole group, not like he wouldn’t anyway. he loves them all with his whole heart. loves seeing them all happy and healthy. he loves making sure they are all fed and cooking for them.
he wouldn’t trade anything in the world for those six boys. but with yoongi, he slowly realized it wasn’t just a fascination with him. he realized that he was falling in love with him.
over the past couple years, dealing with loving yoongi hasn’t been easy. he’s had so many ups and downs, sometimes so bad that the whole group would notice.
one night, he broke down in front of namjoon. he had no choice but telling him why, knowing joon would never judge him, and would only try to help him do what is best.
***
tonight, being in their shared room was too much for jin. he couldn’t fall asleep, no matter how hard he tried. would just look over and seeing yoongi hurt his heart too much. he knows he can't have him, or ever tell him how he feels, but in this moment, all he wishes is to lay with the love of his life and fall asleep happy.
instead of sitting in their room, he decided to get a glass of water, hoping the walk and drink will calm him down. as he drinks his water, he goes to sit in the living room. he can’t seem to do anything but lean his head back, grip tight on his glass, as his eyes fill up with tears.
he’s not sure how long he’s sitting there before he hears the quiet footsteps. they walk down the stairs, into the kitchen, and then to the living room. the same pattern that he followed not long before.
jin can’t seem to move. feels stuck as he sniffles and the tears keep rolling down his cheeks onto the cushions of the couch. wants to make sure that he looks okay for who just walked in. doesn’t want to look like how he feels on the inside, but he can’t help it. the only movement he can feel his body allowing is the slow rise and fall of his chest from breathing, and even that is different because of the tears.
“jin-hyung?” namjoon.
the footsteps get closer, as a water glass is set on the table, and his glass is taken to be placed next to it.
“jin-hyung what’s wrong?” joon’s concerned voice is quiet, travelling through the living room.
“i…” he tries to answer. he really tries to make sure joon knows he is okay. but all that comes out is a shaky breath and more tears. joon doesn’t need to see him falling apart so much, especially not over being in love with yoongi.
“shh it’s okay,” he pulls jin into a hug. “you don’t have to say anything. you’re okay.” they stay like this for about ten minutes, until jin calms down just enough to talk to namjoon, feeling a little more control over himself.
“i don’t know how to tell you.” he whispers quietly, not knowing how to voice that he loves yoongi.
“can i take a small guess?” jin nods. “is it yoongi-hyung?”
jin feels his eyes well up with tears again, “i don’t know why i feel this way joon. i didn’t mean to i just-” he takes in a big breath, crying harder now. “i just fell in love with him and i don’t know how to stop it.”
“i know it’s hard.” namjoon says, painfully like he knows how it feels. “but you’re so strong jin. do you want to talk about what happened tonight?”
jin tries to wipe his eyes, “nothing even happened. i just couldn’t stop thinking so i was wide awake. and every moment that i was in that room i was just so aware that he was there and i couldn’t take it. i can’t be in that room like this. it hurts so much to be in there with him.”
“it’ll be okay. we have our bad days with things like this. i’m always here if this happens again. i care for you so much and you don’t have to go through this alone. but you should think about your options because you can’t do this to yourself for forever.” namjoon says, voice strained.
jin knows why namjoon is talking like this, “is it kook?” jin says quietly and namjoon’s head raises, eyes widening when they meet his.
“is it that obvious?” joon whispers.
“you knew about me too. i think it just takes one to know one.” jin replies as he moves to stand up, “but we’ll get through this joonie. you’re not alone in this either.”
***
a couple weeks after that night, jin realized he was subconsciously pushing yoongi away. always putting distance between them, physically and emotionally.
he didn’t realize until one specific day. they had back to back interviews, and even though yoongi is not usually one that will speak first, he barely said five words all day to anyone. he didn’t even look in his direction once.
yoongi stuck around hoseok, always sitting next to him, standing with him, only answering when he talks to him.
and jin knows he can’t be upset because this is his fault. he did this to yoongi, by ignoring him. he has barely spoken to yoongi the past couple weeks, but acts completely normal towards the other members. he knows how that looks. but he doesn’t know what to do that won’t hurt either of them.
as they all get ready for bed that night, he notices yoongi isn’t in their room. he stays awake for a while, thinking maybe he’s just taking longer downstairs. but it’s been two hours, and there’s no sign of yoongi.
so he texts namjoon.
jin: hi have you seen yoongi?
joon: yeah a little while ago.
jin: do you know where he is? he’s not in our room and i just want to make sure he’s okay.
joon: he’s staying in hoseok’s room tonight.
jin: oh.
joon: do you want me to spend the night in your room tonight?
jin: it’s okay. im going to sleep. goodnight.
he doesn’t sleep. he can’t. not until jimin slowly opens his door and peaks in.
“hyung? are you awake?” jimin says quietly just in case.
“yeah i am. what’s up chim?”
“can i sleep in here with you? yoongi-hyung is in me and hobi-hyung’s room and there’s not much space.”
jin nods, “of course you can. did you want yoongi’s bed or..?”
“um actually could we cuddle?”
jin agrees, pushing over to make room for jimin, hoping he will be able to fall asleep with him in here.
as they get comfortable, jimin quietly starts talking, “are you and yoongi-hyung okay?”
jin lays still for a second, not sure how to answer. “what do you mean?”
jimin starts cuddling into him, sounding seconds away from sleep, “you haven’t been talking. and he’s in my room. he never does that.” jimin pauses, the quiet too heavy for the conversation. “you just haven’t been as close the past couple weeks. what happened?”
jin thinks about how noticeable it is, how he’s changing the band for some stupid crush on his best friend. “i don’t know chim, but i wish it wasn’t happening.”
and with that they fall asleep.
***
yoongi doesn’t know why any of this is happening. doesn’t know why jin hates him, he thought they were best friends. eternal roommates and all. but things change.
he always dreamed about things with seokjin going well in the future. about confessing to him and jin feeling the same way.
but now that can never happen. not if jin hates him so much he can’t even sleep in their room anymore.
he overheard that night a couple weeks ago. he heard jin sneak out of their room and not come back for around thirty minutes. so he decided to get up and go downstairs to make sure he was okay.
but when he got to the stairs he heard jin talking to namjoon. he heard him say that he couldn’t stand being in their bedroom knowing yoongi was there. and yoongi would have been a little angry if jin didn’t sound so sad. he sounded like he was in so much pain, so he decided to try and distance himself.
if he could make life easier for jin he would, so he decided to stay farther away from him, not go to bed until the middle of the night, or not at all and sleep somewhere else. he doesn’t want to be the reason jin sounded like that.
so he has been with hoseok. crawled into his bed the night he found out, crying so much that he woke hoseok up, and they laid there with hoseok comforting him until he fell asleep.
eventually, hoseok asked what happened, and he knew he had to tell him. and he knew that being able to talk about it would be good for him.
so he told hoseok what he overheard, how he felt, and what he was planning to do, and of course, hoseok was on board with his plan, just wanting to be there for yoongi. so they started being around each other way more than they had been before, which had already been a lot.
interviews, dance practice, movie nights, dinner, yoongi is always with hoseok. the one person supporting him through this. the only one who knows how he feels about jin, about the all consuming love he has for him. he feels comfortable around hoseok, he always has, but he misses jin.
misses their talks in their room at night, the joking around, the cuddling, the closeness and happiness that came with being with jin.
but all of this is for him. he doesn’t want to make jin uncomfortable just because he loves him. so he will continue to put as much distance between them as jin needs.
he will always do anything for jin’s happiness.
***
but jin couldn’t stand it anymore. two months of walking on eggshells. two months of seeing yoongi so incredibly upset. two months of yoongi never even looking at him, always as far away as possible. two whole months without his yoongi.
there is not one way that any of this could go well for jin. he knows that he and yoongi will always only be friends and there’s nothing he can do about it, especially after all this time apart.
there is, however, something he can do about yoongi’s happiness. he can always try to cheer him up and destress him. that’s just what best friends do, right?
wrong, to a certain extent.
you don’t just cheer up your best friend. not when you have an all consuming, overwhelming, mess of feelings and love and confusion for them. not when you know you’re in love with them. that’s just not how it works, unfortunately for jin.
so, against any small voices of reason in the back of his head, jin decided to go through with his plan anyways. he knew that yoongi needed to unwind and relax after their hectic day, and drinking just seemed like an easy option to break the past two months of tension.
so he pulled yoongi aside on the way up to their, recently separated, rooms and asked if they could talk. and he could see yoongi's eyes light up, while his filled with guilt for putting the younger through so much recently.
so jin brought alcohol, a bit more more than one drink for each, knowing he will need something to get through this. but he brought a lot. enough so yoongi would clear his mind and be affectionate and relaxed. in a happy mindset.
what jin didn’t expect was how much yoongi would take for himself, leaving jin with just a slight buzz as they cuddled on the floor, leaning against jin’s bed. the cuddling was definitely unexpected, jin extremely cautious, but filling with warmth at the fact that everything, even if just for now, seems okay. everything seems normal.
and so they didn’t get to talking about what they should be. yoongi too drunk to hold the weight of that conversation.
so they just sat with each other, de-stressing from their day, curled up with one another. they haven’t said much, but jin’s slightly buzzing mind is enough to fill the finally comfortable silence. it just felt nice to be so close after all this time
and then a drunk yoongi started to shine through. “do you think cats know that it’s just a box and still love it anyways? or do you think they see it as something as valuable as what came in the box?” yoongi’s low and quiet voice crosses through jin’s buzzing head.
for a second everything is quiet, yoongi’s head laying against jin’s lap on their bedroom floor. all that can be heard is the quiet music in the background and their breathing.
and then, they both burst out laughing.
“i have no idea yoongi-ah. maybe you should ask the next cat you see.” jin says quietly, running his fingers through yoongi’s hair.
yoongi hums. “yeah i will.”
and then it’s silent again. his thought feeling so loud he is scared yoongi can hear them.
but yoongi, once again doesn’t let the silence take over completely, and starts whispering. “why does jinnie-hyung hate me? i love him so much. am so in love with him, but i don’t make him comfy so i can’t be ‘round him.”
and jin’s eyes fill with tears at how sad and distraught the younger sounds. yoongi thinks he hates him? why would he ever hate him? he could never. there’s not a single reason why jin would ever hate a single bone inside that boy’s body.
jin’s silence causes yoongi to continue, “i jus’ miss him. too much. love hobi-ah but he’s not my jinnie-hyung.” and yoongi is crying. jin can see his tears falling silently.
seokjin can feel the tears falling down his cheeks too as yoongi is playing with the fabric of his shirt. so he whispers, “why do you think he hates you? you know he never could.”
but that makes yoongi shake his head. “heard him tell joonie. know he hates me, know i make him uncomfortable.”
jin feels so confused. so sad and shocked, hasn’t even hit him that yoongi said he loves him. and oh my god yoongi just said he is in love with him. yoongi, the love of his life loves him back.
but yoongi thinks he hates him. he couldn’t imagine what that feels like.
so he thinks back to any conversation he’s had with joon that could explain why yoongi feels like this. he can’t think of anything until- “yoongi no. you did not overhear that conversation.”
“i did. hyungie sounded so sad so i’ve had to stay away from him. can’t make him uncomfy anymore.” yoongi sounds so determined, but so sad.
and yoongi is whispering again, “please don’t tell jin-hyung.”
“yoonie.”
yoongi looks confused for a second, eyes remain closed but his eyebrows furrow. “only he calls me that. saved special for jinnie-hyung. don’t say that.”
“yoonie please look at me.” jin is smiling, not able to stop it from how cute his yoonie is.
and as yoongi's eyes slowly open, he can see the flicker of realization in them and then the panic set in. “listen to me yoonie. i love you. i love you so much. i know you’re incredibly drunk right now but i’m so in love with you min yoongi.”
and yoongi looks so much more confused than he had before, “you can’t. that’s not possible. forget everything i said.” his voice a soft and confused mumble.
and then the tiredness takes over yoongi’s body, not giving jin any time to argue that he, in fact, does love yoongi.
seokjin moves the pair to his bed, tucking yoongi in and slowly letting himself fall into the same sleeping pattern as the younger.
***
light hits yoongi directly in the eyes, which is weird because the window across the room is always pulled so it doesn’t reach his bed. so he turns to get off his bed when his hand meets a wall, which is even weirder because since when is that on the left side of his bed?
but it’s not. not his bed, not his wall. yoongi is not in the right place, and to make it even worse, the weight of an arm feels like it is getting heavier on his waist.
so when yoongi looks down to see his hyung’s arm, he starts to freak out. because realizing they are in the same bed, the same room even, brings along all of the memories from last night. ones that he wishes weren’t adding to his pounding headache.
and while he is thinking over what happened to lead to this moment, he remembers confronting jin on accident about him hating yoongi, and yoongi being so in love with him.
so yoongi runs.
he grabs his phone at the last second, pushing jin’s arm off of his body, and starts to sprint out of the room.
as he opens that door he hears shuffling and a confused “yoongi?” from behind him, not bothering to look back. he couldn’t if he wanted to, he has to get away from here.
so he continues to sprint out of the house. he passes a worried looking hoseok and namjoon, who try to call out to him but he barely hears them.
he doesn’t stop for anything until he’s running to his studio as fast as he can. so when he gets there he quickly changes the code and goes inside.
he knows that he has a little food and water here, so the need to leave isn’t pressing. he could easily make it a couple nights camping in his studio, not that he hasn’t under different circumstances.
he sits in silence, no sounds other than the sounds of his phone frantically going off in his pocket. so he takes it out and shuts it off completely.
he knows that he might be worrying the other members but he can’t do anything. he can’t talk to them until he figures out what he’s going to do and how he’s going to fix this without breaking up the group. he would never be able to forgive himself if that happened. not over this.
so he won’t let it happen, he will stay here and try to work on his music, he will try to get a temporary distraction before he figures out what to do.
and then there’s knocking. the sounds of people trying to put in the previous code for the door. he can hear faint voices yelling out to him as he moves from the couch to his chair in front of his desk and puts his headphones on.
he automatically puts on music to drown out any other noises, because he can’t deal with what happened last night. what has been happening for months.
***
everyone is extremely worried, mostly seokjin. he is pacing outside of the door to yoongi’s studio, standing around as the rest of the members are sitting, trying to think of what to do.
“we just need to give him space.” hoseok reasons.
“but who knows what he’s doing seok! what he’s feeling, what he’s thinking! i cant sit here and do nothing when i have no clue if he will even think of trying to take care of himself! not when this is because of me.” jin knows he might be overreacting a little, but he can’t help it when it comes to yoongi.
all he does is think about him and worry when he’s not taking care of him. so now yoongi has completely freaked out, not talking to anyone. he turned his phone off, locked himself in his studio and changed the code. how is jin supposed to just sit back and do nothing.
“this isn’t your fault hyung. don’t say that.” namjoon says, softly rubbing his back, trying to get him to sit down on one of the benches.
“i don’t think he’d appreciate all of us standing out here even if we did get him to open the door. we all know what hyung is like when he’s upset.” jungkook says quietly from the other side of namjoon.
and as jin sinks to the floor, he can’t help but regret trying to talk to yoongi yesterday. at least before, yoongi was okay. now jin has driven him to lock himself up and cut off contact with anyone, even hoseok.
he regrets thinking that everything could be fine after he pushed him so far away for two months. two whole months that he didn’t talk to yoongi. the hardest two months of his life, and it may never end.
“-ung. can you hear me? please stop crying.” jimin wipes jin’s face, looking close to tears himself. jin didn’t even realize he was crying but he can barely see anything clearly, eyes constantly refilling with tears again and again.
jin leans into jimin, feeling the need to be close to someone because all of this is so overwhelming. “i feel so bad jimin. if i hadn’t said anything yesterday-“ jin gets too choked up to continue, only a sigh leaving as he pushes his face into jimin‘s neck.
“this isn’t your fault hyung. you can’t put this all on you. the past two months was something that both of you were doing. you were both pushing each other away, not just you.” jimin tries to calm him down.
but it doesn’t work, makes him think about why yoongi was pushing him away. “he thinks i hate him. there’s no saying this isn’t my fault.”
with that, jin gets up and leaves. can’t be outside yoongi’s studio with the rest of them. all he can feel is guilt, knowing he pushed yoongi, his best friend, so far away because of his stupid feelings.
all he wants is to go back to a time when he still had his best friend by his side.
***
yoongi misses jin so much. he’s been in the studio for two days already, only leaving in the middle of the night when he’s sure nobody is outside.
but he has heard jin for these two days. he heard the soft knocks and call of his name through the door. he could hear the guesses of his new code for the door. he can hear jin’s attempts to talk to him, yet all he can seem to do is hold his breath while he’s there.
yoongi doesn’t understand why jin is trying so hard to get close to him, when two months ago all he wanted was to be away from him.
how did one night, a night they were supposed to talk, turn into a drunken mess. turn into yoongi spilling every worry he’s had about seokjin the past two months.
he just wishes he could go back to that night and turn jin down. of course he doesn’t like that option, didn’t when jin asked, but he missed jin so much. he couldn’t resist because jin was asking him to be around him. he wasn’t avoiding yoongi, he wanted to talk. so of course yoongi wanted to be with him.
but he never expected any of it to turn into this. he wished he had never told jin how he felt about him or how he knew about jin hating him. because now jin is outside his studio door out of pity. guilt even. to smooth things over so they can continue to work together and not affect the group.
part of him doesn’t want to see jin look at him like he’s a problem or obstacle to fix before jin can move on. and part of him wants jin calling for him. wants jin to want to see him. wants him waiting outside his door for yoongi to let him in. wants jin to want him.
so yoongi waits another two days, always taking the middle of the night to safely leave his studio. that fourth day though, he opens his door and walks out, but stops.
jin is laying on the tiny bench in the hallway. he looks so uncomfortable and yoongi can feel his heart ache. he’s been staying in his studio to hide from any problems he caused, and jin is still taking care of him.
yoongi thinks about waking him up so he can go home and be comfortable, but he quickly turns around and goes back into his studio, knowing he can’t take confronting him right now, not at 3am.
***
the next day, jin wakes up completely sore. maybe sleeping on the bench wasn’t the best idea. he looks over to yoongi’s door and sighs. ‘i don’t know how to fix this,’ he thinks.
he goes to get breakfast downstairs in the building, figuring a walk and break could help him clear his head. he needs to think of how to get yoongi to listen to him. he needs to tell him that he doesn’t hate him. that avoiding him was instead because he loves him. is in love with him. he has to get his yoongi back, needs his best friend again.
as jin makes his way back upstairs, he is scrolling through his phone thinking of any way to get to yoongi. trying to think of what his new code could be, ways to get him out of the studio, anything so he can see him.
he tries a few codes again, knowing they haven’t worked before, but wants to be sure just in case. as he’s about to give up guessing codes for now, he doesn’t hear the denying buzz, but the accepting beep, feels the door unlatch.
he can’t believe yoongi used that as his new code. but it makes sense in a way. of course yoongi would use the day they met. yoongi just told him four nights ago that he is in love with jin, why wouldn’t he use that as his code. jin’s heart warms up until he feels his whole body freeze again.
he is standing with his hand on the handle of yoongi’s open door. guessing the code meant he opened the barrier between him and yoongi, now not sure he’s happy about it. he can’t get himself to move, or even breath, just standing staring at the door handle. he can’t go in. he would be invading yoongi’s personal space. obviously yoongi doesn’t want to see him, so why would he go in.
but jin knows why he tried so hard to guess. he needs to get him back. needs to explain, and most importantly make sure he is okay. he has been in his studio for four days, there’s no way he is taking care of himself anywhere near as much that is necessary. he needs to push the door open to make sure yoongi is okay,
so he does.
***
yoongi knows that sound. the sound of the door opening because whoever is on the other side input the code correctly. and that makes his freeze, turning around to stare at the door, holding his breath.
but the other sound yoongi knows that always follows, is the door being pushed open and footsteps following. he knows that only one person would have gotten that code. knows jin is on the other side of that door barely holding it open. but he can see that he’s hesitating. trying to take care of yoongi out of obligation, but now that he has a way to see him, he can’t follow through, and yoongi can’t blame him. he wants to, doesn’t want all of this to be his fault, but it is. so that’s why he gets up.
he stand from his chair and walks towards the door slowly. with every step he can feel his heart beat faster, wanting to run to jin but also wanting to push the door closed. can feel his eyes tear up at the thought of seeing his face filled with anything but happiness to see him. but he continues to walk, has to do this for jin. has to free him from his responsibility as his only hyung.
so when he reaches the door, he subconsciously holds his breath even more. he places his hand on the door knob as a tear slips down his face. only one, but enough to show how much yoongi is feeling on the inside.
neither knowing that on the opposite side of the door, is the other half of their heart.
but yoongi pulls the door open.
***
jin wasn’t expecting the door to open. was okay with standing there for the rest of the day staring at the tiny opening in between the wall. so when it opens, he lets out a gasp. because standing in front of him now is the love of his life. the one person he believes is the one for him. the one that knows him best.
but even with the relief of having the younger in front of him, his heart breaks. he can see the fear in his eyes, and see how disheveled his appearance is. he looks so tired, bags under his eyes and his skin paler. his clothes are wrinkled and messy. but what catches jin’s eyes the most, are the tears in yoongi’s eyes, and the track of one that had already fallen.
jin doesn’t even know where to start. “yoon,” he whispers, “i was so worried about you.”
and yoongi’s eyes shift downwards towards his hands. “were you really?” yoongi whispers back brokenly. the shake in his voice and hands are matched, and jin can feel his own eyes water.
“of course i was. i love you so much yoonie. i could barely eat or sleep the past few days because i was sick to my stomach with worry. knowing-” jin chokes up, tears slipping down his face so he roughly wipes them away. he can see yoongi’s head whip up at the sound of jin’s voice. “knowing i pushed you to hide away from everyone else, so far that you’re not even taking care of yourself well enough. i can’t stand that yoonie. i hate myself for doing all of this to you the past couple months.”
and yoongi’s face fills with confusion. “but you didn’t do anything jinnie, what are you talking about?” yoongi is looking at jin, wanting to wipe all of his tears away.
jin shakily inhales, “but i did do something. i fell in love with you and let you think i hate you because of it.”
and that’s when yoongi makes eye contact with him, his own eyes widening and spilling over with tears. “you- you what?” yoongi says, slowly shaking his head.
jin keeps talking, not answering yoongi, “all of this has just been hurting you and i can never forgive myself. i put you through so much.”
yoongi is shaking his head, “it’s fine jin, just- go back. what did you say?” his voice is quiet, all of his tears about to spill over onto his cheeks.
jin takes yoongi’s hands, “that night you overheard, i couldn’t stay in our room because all i wanted to do was hold you when i looked at you. knowing you were there and i could never do anything about what i feel for you was killing me. i was telling namjoon that it was hard to be around you when being so close made me feel ten times farther from ever being able to have you close like i wanted. so i started to distance myself, i knew that wouldn’t help anything but it felt right at the time. but i’m in love with you yoonie.”
yoongi can feel the tears falling down his cheeks and looks down until he feels jin wipe them away from his face. yoongi stays quiet for a second. “but you weren’t the one pushing anyone away, i was. i thought you hated me so i decided to give you space, what do you mean you pushed me away?”
jin laughed quietly, “we really both pushed each other away.” and yoongi nodded with a small sound of agreement.
jin sighed, “i’m sorry i put you through so much. you didn’t deserve that. you deserve so much better. i was too scared of telling you, that i hurt you.”
yoongi squeezes jin’s hands, “there’s no better than you jinnie-hyung.”
jin smiles a little, looking back to yoongi, “so, you love me too.”
“i do yes.” yoongi smiles at him.
“think i can get you out of here then? pick up some food and go talk more at home?” jin asks, just wanting to be comfortable and be able to take care of his yoonie.
“of course jinnie-hyung.” yoongi grabs his things and they head out to grab food to take back home.
the rest of the night spent talking, crying, and laughing. oh, and a lot of cuddling.
***
just because they cleared up some misunderstandings, does not mean that everything is taken care of. all of jin’s original worries, except for number 3 ( yoongi and jin have always, and always will be, best friends. only best friends. ) are still present. they are still in bts. they still have bandmates that they have to think about, and worry about, and talk to.
the other members are as much a part of this as they are, as this will change everything for the seven of them. and jin is extremely worried about what they will think about him and yoongi.
but the next morning when jin is just waking up, extremely warm with a weight on him, he hears the hushed voices. “look at them taetae! they are so cute i’m going to cry!” jimin.
“do you think they’re together now?” and taehyung, asking the others.
hoseok and namjoon have seen both sides to this coin, seperate or not. “i hope so.” they both answer in unison, causing the five of them to laugh.
jungkook whispers, “they look really happy.” followed by a hum of agreement.
jin slightly opens his eyes and peeks down to see yoongi peeking back up at him. and they’re both smiling. they are both happy. they know that there is a lot to talk about, years worth of it, but waking up in each others arms after finding out that their feelings are mutual, makes them both feel incredibly warm inside.
so jin whispers, “hi.” yoongi cant help but chuckle at the silliness of hiding that they are awake as the boys gush about how cute they are only ten feet away.
but he answers anyways, “hi jinnie.”
and they both continue to appreciate the warmth surrounding them, just content laying with each other, until they hear jimin. “wait guys, i think they’re awake.”
so they try to pretend to be asleep, but soon the cold air is hitting them as the blanket is ripped away by the maknaes, causing yoongi to become grumpy, as it is still early. “get out of here!” all of the maknaes run out the door as namjoon and hobi linger for a second, watching them gather the blanket back and move fluently around each other. they can see how happy they are with each other now, not knowing exactly what happened, but they are glad that it did.
as yoongi and seokjin settle back into bed, now sitting up against the bed frame, they find themselves getting nervous. they know they have to talk about everything, but have no clue how or where to start.
they sit in silence for a couple minutes, jin tracing patterns on yoongi’s hand, before he speaks up. “i don’t want anything to be weird or awkward with us.”
yoongi nods, “i don’t either. maybe we could talk about when everything started for ourselves? like when we noticed that something was changing about our feelings.”
jin agrees, “that’s a good idea. um, i can go first. i think that subconsciously i always knew you were different from the other members. at the beginning, i thought it was just a fascination with you, you were really cool and talented, so why wouldn’t i want to be around you all the time.” jin pauses for a second to look at yoongi.
yoongi has his head down, cheeks red and a small smile shining its way through. jin continues holding his hand.
“but all of the members were the same in that aspect, but even knowing that, i felt such a strong pull to you. and one day i realized that maybe wanting to be around you and take care of you and help you do or achieve anything, wasn’t just a fascination but me falling in love.” jin ended, looking yoongi in the eyes. “your turn.”
yoongi takes a deep breath in. “it was the same in the beginning, just feeling a pull to you, which i excused because you are my only hyung in the group. but the time i really noticed was one day when you got sick, and i didn’t know until i was already at the studio, caught up in meetings all day. i got a text from hoseok that you weren’t feeling well and i was so worried.” yoongi’s eyebrows knit, thinking back to that day.
jin moves his free hand up and brushes his thumb across yoongi’s cheek, causing yoongi to lean his head into his hand as he continues talking.
“i tried so hard to reschedule the meetings but they wouldn’t let me out, so i texted the other members every half hour for updates on how you were doing. i didn’t get anything done that day, and everyone could tell.” yoongi smiled a tiny bit. “all i could think about was leaving and getting you any medicine i could find, then rushing back home to make you the soup you like, and just cuddle you up in all the blankets in the house and lay with you.” yoongi blushes again.
“that’s so cute yoonie.” jin smiles as yoongi hushes him.
“but as the time passed that day, the boys started to ask why i was worrying so much over a little bug. and it hit me that i had no idea. hoseok had just been sick the week before and all i did was tell him to rest a lot. i was so worried about you, and it hit me that it was because all i wanted to do was care for you and show you how much i love you.”
jin smiles at yoongi for a few seconds before he starts to laugh a little, “i remember that day. hoseok came in and sat with me, reading me every text you sent. he wouldn’t stop telling me how whipped you are for me. guess he was right.”
yoongi smiles, “guess he was.”
they sit for another minute before jin’s face falls a little. “what should we do now?” his serious look is making yoongi feel the same, and he starts thinking.
“what do you want to do?” he whispers, not looking up at jin’s face, but instead their entwined hands.
jin sighs, “i want to feel this happy every day when i wake up. i don’t want to be getting up in the middle of the night anymore to escape my feelings for you. holding you now and going back wouldn’t be easy.”
yoongi nods, “i agree. i feel really happy with you, and i know this is all really complicated but, i know that it would be worth it for you.”
they are both looking at each other again, “we’re going to have to tell the boys.” jin says, half worriedly.
“after their reaction this morning i don’t really feel like that's a concern jinnie.” yoongi says smiling.
jin nods, smiling back. “so min yoonie, would you do me the honor of being my official boyfriend?”
yoongi smiles his biggest gummy smile, “i would love to kim jinnie-hyung.”
yoongi can barely get the whole sentence out before he feels lips press against his, soft and loving, more than he could ever ask for now that he has his jinnie.
***
“but hoseok what do i wear?” yoongi huffs frustratedly.
jin asked him on a date two days ago, but didn’t say where they would be going, or what kind of thing they would be doing. this leads to yoongi laying half under a pile of clothes on his floor that he has pulled out, trying to put together a nice outfit that could work for any kind of date, but apparently this is an impossible task.
“just wear something you know he likes on you. he’s always saying he likes outfits on you, just pick one of those.” hoseok says easily, tapping away on his phone, not even bothering to look at the mess that is yoongi on the floor.
“but that narrows it down to nothing. jinnie is always saying he likes stuff, it’s just what he does. and that doesn’t help me prepare for a date.” yoongi sighs, laying back down.
but as he is laying there looking up at his closet, he sees it. the perfect outfit for this date. the sweater jin got him for his birthday. when jin gave it to him, he couldn’t even wait until he opened everything to make him try it on.
he was so excited to see yoongi in it, and when yoongi put it on jin was so happy that his eyes watered. he couldn’t stop telling him how cute and pretty he looked. (and yes maybe yoongi should have noticed how much jin was in love with him before now) so yoongi knew that this was the only outfit that would work.
as yoongi got ready, putting the sweater on and making sure his hair was perfect, he heard footsteps run up the stairs, and he knew it was jin. his heart started beating faster and before jin could even knock on their shared bedroom door, yoongi opened it.
jin abruptly stopped and looked down at the sweater, immediately smiling. “you look so pretty yoonie.” he said, walking over to him and pulling him into his arms.
yoongi pushes his face into jin’s shoulder, mumblings as well as he could, “we should get going.”
jin laughed and started pulling yoongi downstairs and out the door. they climbed into the car and apparently jin had already told the driver where to go because he just nodded and they started driving away.
when they stopped, yoongi realized they were at a little pond, one he and jin used to come to all the time, but haven’t had the chance to visit recently.
they walked down the path, and yoongi started to notice light, which was weird considering it was dark outside. when they get to the pond, yoongi gasps. there are string lights everywhere and blankets and fishing poles and food.
“you took me to fish.” yoongi says while smiling at jin.
jin looked down at him, “we used to come here every weekend, just the two of us, before we got too busy. it was the real first thing we really bonded over outside the group” jin took his hand and led him to the blanket, sitting down with him. “i wanted to do something we have always done with each other. we are still jin and yoongi even if we are jin and yoongi. just wanted to do something that’s always been a part of us.”
yoongi tears up, “thank you so much jinnie.”
jin smiles, holding yoongi’s face in his free hand. “of course, anything for you.”
they start their date, deciding to eat before they fish, a suggestion quickly made, as they don’t have a real way to wash their hands other than the water in the pond.
both of them can feel the love surrounding them, knowing that everything they went through was worth it to get here. to be with the one they love. they smile and joke and laugh, having an amazing night just being with each other in a place so warm and comforting and familiar to them.
jin is glad that everything that happened did, it made their bond grow stronger, realizing that time apart, like the two months or the four days, any amount of time was too much to be apart. they have each other now and could never imagine spending time apart not talking at all, not even a text.
***
a year later, when everything is going so perfectly for the two, they decide to celebrate this time together with everyone. they all have a movie night, and drink probably too much.
jin doesn’t drink as much, still feeling the need to care for the rest of the group, but he is so happy seeing everyone relaxed and enjoying themselves. they all start to fall asleep, and jin picks yoongi up before he can, bringing them to their bedroom, which now only has one bed.
he is about to tuck the drunk yoongi in, when the younger suddenly sits up and pulls him close. “don’t tell jinnie hyung. but i love him. a lot.”
jin holds back his laughter, “okay i won’t tell him.”
yoongi smiles, pulling him in to cuddle. “thank you. he’s the most important person to me an’ i don’t know what i’d do without him.”
as jin settles them both into bed, he is smiling more and more listening to yoongi mumble about him. “he loves you more than anything. you’re his yoonie.”
yoongi smiles sleepily, softly nodding along as he presses his face against jin’s chest mumbling, “his yoonie.” and with that he falls asleep in jin’s arms.
jin is incredibly happy that he listens to yoongi when he drinks, can feel all of his love through his words every time.
so jin lays there thinking about all the nights he’s listened to a babbling, half-asleep yoongi, and falls asleep dreaming about all the nights he will get to experience it again.
after all he knows it will happen again. he knows his yoonie.