Work Text:
It is not known to anyone that Rafa called Roger the night before his wedding.
Roger answers the phone quickly, as if he has been waiting for the call all night. Maybe he has. "Hi Rafa." His voice is calm. It betrays none of his emotions.
Rafa swallows, "Hi Roger." He knows it is not going to be easy. But he has to try.
They both remain slient for a few seconds.
"Roger, about the wedding -"
"Rafa please...we've spoken about it, for many many times. I'm not coming."
Rafa sighs, "Roger, I really want you to be there, for me."
Roger raises his voice. "For what? So that I will see you get married to....someone?" Someone not me. He almost said. "Is that what you want, Rafa?"
"Roger please, it's a big day for me...can you be happy for me, just for this one day?"
What is he even saying? He has always only wanted Rafa to be happy. Rafa knows. He captured his heart with his blinding smile.
"Happy?" Roger shakes his head, finding it hard to control his emotions. "Rafa, we have always belonged to each other. You know it. We could have been so much happier."
A moment comes back to him - Sascha and Fabio laughing. Rafa putting his chest out, his fingers lingering on Rafa's silky dinner jacket, making sure he looked sharp for the big day. He almost looked like a groom. It almost felt like a wedding. Everyone was expecting him, and only him, to do that for Rafa. Roger and Rafa. Federer and Nadal. They are the greatest story in tennis.
"Please don't go there." Rafa cannot bear the thought.
"We could have been the happiest couple in the world."
"Roger, I have never belonged to you. And you have never belonged to me." Rafa grits his teeth. "You married Mirka."
"Rafa." Roger closes his eyes. He knows he is not being fair to Rafa, but he can't help it. He is losing his mind. "If I had known I had been in love with you since -"
Rafa cuts him off. "No. It doesn't matter now." He feels tears in his eyes. A lump is forming in his throat. He suddenly remembers the day he first played the great Roger Federer in Miami, the crowd unaware of what they were witnessing. He remembers the grace in his strokes, his watery smile when they shaked hands at the net, the electric touch of their hands, and how he could not stop loving this man since then.
"Rafa, you are the love of my life."
A tear flows from Rafa's eye.
"I wish...things had been different for us. I am sorry. I wish I figured it all out earlier."
Rafa fails to suppress a sob. He is sure Roger hears it. "Rafa, you deserve happiness in your life...I'm sorry for being selfish." And for all the pain I have caused you when I did not respond to your love, which I did not take notice. I am a stupid man. It's too late now. "I wouldn't be a happy guest tomorrow. Forgive me for being selfish."
Rafa takes in a deep breath. There is no point to continue the conversation, or to tell Roger that he never stops loving him. He simply cannot. Sometimes love is not enough. He has to do the right thing.
"Goodbye Roger."
Roger is not sure if his goodbye means anything other than an end to the conversation. He goes along nonetheless. "Goodbye Rafa." The calmness of his voice surprises even himself.
Roger stays until Rafa cuts off. He throws his phone on the bed and cries himself to sleep.
The wedding between Rafael Nadal and Maria Francisca Perello takes place on 19 October 2019 at noon. His great rival and good friend Roger Federer is notably absent from the joyful occasion. It is reported earlier in the US Open that Federer was not invited to the wedding, and that he already had plans for the weekend, including preparing for the Basel tournament to be held in the following week.