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19 October 2019. Ten years ago, who would’ve thought that Dan would be waking up in his forever home, right next to the love of his life? Definitely not him. He hoped that he would, but dreams weren’t as good as his real life turned out to be.
He wasn’t exactly in a good place a decade ago. He had a lot of anger in him, hiding it, bubbling, threatening to burst. He had a lot of repressed issues, simply because he wasn’t ready to deal with it. Looking back now, he was always sad and angry. But then…
Then he met Phil. Phil took his hand and dragged him into a better place and showed him what being loved felt like.
For years, when he was a teenager still in Wokingham, when his friends were off getting drunk and having girl/boyfriends, he wanted to know what it felt like. Loving someone and being loved. He was struggling with so much back then: his sexuality, his depression, bullying, his parents, school, life, the future. He knew what love was, he loved his girlfriend who loved him back, but it wasn’t that burning, flashing, earth-shattering love.
Then he met Phil. The wonderful, gorgeous, funny, lovely, Phil. Dan fell in love with him and he understood. He understood the love he’s spent so long looking for. Sometimes, it feels like, Phil took his hand ten years ago and never let it go.
Dan blinks his sleepiness away as he watches Phil. They still haven’t sorted out the curtains, so they’re using their old ones, but they’re too small for these windows. However, it means that the morning sun lights up the room and Dan can see Phil’s features. There are more lines on his forehead, around his eyes and his hair got a twinge of grey in them now if he can’t be bothered to dye it for a while. Dan loves that he gets to see this wonderful face every day.
“Stop staring,” Phil grunts.
“I feel like we’ve done this bit.”
“We do this every time you wake up before me,” Phil mumbles sleepily. “Just once can you leave the room if you’re up first?”
“Sorry, can’t help it, I just love seeing you.”
“Gross.”
“Happy ten years, baby.” Dan kisses his forehead. “The best ten years.”
“Oh, Dan.” Phil looks at him; he’s still so sleepy, but he’s got a soft smile playing on his lips. “Happy anniversary.”
Dan doesn’t know why he’s being so silly. It’s in the double digits now, maybe that’s why. They had big things: moving in together, moving to London and risking everything, buying a house, going on two world tours. Together. They’ve been together for ten fucking years and life is just… the best.
“Come here, kiss me.”
And Phil does, with morning breath, pillow marks on his face and sleepiness still lingering.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
***
Phil has been doing this for ten years now (give or take, he’d rather not count the days they’ve spent apart), going to bed next to Dan, seeing his face last before he falls asleep.
It’s no different right now. They’re exhausted after the day they had. Breakfast in bed (breakfast did consist of cereal because they couldn’t be bothered to make something fancier), post-breakfast, giggly sex (that almost saw them ruining the mattress because they forgot the bowl on the bed), shower. After that, they wandered out, going on the London Eye and making out (they had the whole capsule), going to a very fancy restaurant they’ve been talking about for a while, before getting home.
Now, it’s 11:50 at night, Dan’s on his phone right next to Phil, browsing Reddit. Phil’s lying on his side, head propped up by his hand and he’s just… staring. At Dan, the boy he’s loved for the past ten years, the boy he hopes to love for all eternity.
Dan’s not sentimental, but he is. He believes in soulmates and destiny and he knows that Dan is his soulmate, his destiny. He believes that Dan’s always been his soulmate and always will, not just this lifetime, but long before he was born and long after he’ll be gone. He believes they were soulmates in Ancient Greece, in the Medieval times, in Victorian England. He believes that they’ll be soulmates when humans eventually colonise Mars.
“I love you, Dan,” Phil says to him.
Dan puts his phone on the bedside table and looks at him. “I love you, too.”
Phil watches him for a couple of seconds before saying. “Let’s get married.”
Without missing a beat, Dan nods. “Let’s.”
“No, I mean… Marry me, Dan. I’m not just saying that to start a discussion, I’m actively asking you. Will you marry me?”
He knows there’s no need for a speech, because Dan knows how much he loves him, how desperate he is to grow old together. What Phil feels for Dan is simple: it’s passionate, irrefutable, evergreen love. Simple as that.
Dan opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, unable to speak. He’s got tears in his eyes and fat teardrops are rolling down his cheeks.
“Yeah,” he whispers. “Yeah, Phil.”
“I haven’t got a ring because I wanted it to be perfect.”
“It is, it’s perfect,” Dan replies hurriedly. “I don’t need one, I’ve got you and that’s all I could ever ask for.”
Dan leans in and kisses Phil, slowly and taking his time. They’ve got time, Phil knows. There’s no reason to rush anywhere. Dan will be his husband and it makes Phil extremely happy. It’s the best feeling in the world.
“Happy ten years,” Phil says to him, pressing his forehead against Dan’s. “I keep saying that I know.”
“Happy ten years.” Dan presses a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Now onto the next ten?”
“It’s all downhill from here, eh?”
“I know… Soggy bits, grumpiness...”
“Dan!” Phil laughs, shoving his pillow in his boyfriend’s - his fiance’s - face.
The thing is, their love isn’t special. It’s not life-changing in the big picture, but it is for them. It’s the most special thing they’ve got. And the future? Well, it looks fantastic. Phil smiles at Dan and imagines the second ten years of Dan and Phil.