Chapter Text
Hailey Upton had been drowning her sorrows in whiskey when she heard the knock on the door. She suspected it was probably her partner, Jay Halstead, coming to check on her. There was no one else she could think of showing up this late. If so, this would be a first for them, although, it had been a hell of a few weeks. She makes her way over to the door and in checking through her peephole realizes her suspicions were right.
"Hey." She says simply as she opens the door for him.
He walks in without a word, turning around to face her once he's in her hallway.
"Uh, everybody's asking for you at Molly's." he says it in a way more or less questioning why she never showed.
She tries to give him a reassuring smile. "Yea, I don't really feel like being social right now."
"Well Platt offered to buy shots which is a once in a decade thing if you want to reconsider." He smirks back at her.
She can't help but to applaud his effort, even though she knows it's not going to work. "I'm alright… I just kinda feel like being alone."
"Yea, that's not gonna happen, sorry!" he looks at her like she's crazy thinking he's going to leave her alone and starts making his way into her kitchen. "Wanna pour me a drink?"
He hears her scoff slightly, but chooses to ignore it. It's what they do anyway… pushing each other through their annoyances in order to break through. She begrudgingly makes her way over to the kitchen too, the tiny semblance of a smile on her face. She grabs a glass for him as she reaches her island counter.
"How's your head?" he asks as she starts pouring his drink.
"It's alright, a little sore."
Jay gives her an eek face. Then smiles at her while she's not looking. Secretly glad that she's okay, all things considered, and that this part of her life is finally over with.
"It's over, Hailey. You got him."
"Yea I know… it just doesn't feel as good as I thought it would…" she says sadly, grabbing her glass and the bottle of whiskey making her way into the living room.
Oh boy, Jay thinks. He grabs his glass and quickly follows after her.
"…It stirred up too many ghosts, y'know?"
He sits next to her on the couch, already knowing what she's thinking about. "Garrett?"
"Yea… he was the one that pulled Booth off me that night…"
She's shocked that she finds herself telling Jay this, she's never told anyone before, yet she can't think of anyone else she'd rather have know about this dark secret that still haunts her sometimes late at night.
"He stopped him from… raping me… killing me…"
Jay stares back at her sadly. "I'm sorry you lost him, he sounded like a great guy."
She nods her head. "Yea, he was."
Jay knows there's more to it. He recognizes all too well losing someone (ironically both also partners) you loved, albeit under completely different circumstances.
"You loved him?" He asks, already knowing the answer, and yet there's a small part of him that wants her to say 'no.' Which is crazy, why should he care who Hailey loves or loved? It's certainly not any of his business, yet he's starting to feel these days like everything with her is his business. He wants to protect her more than anyone else he's ever met. And that thought alone scares him to his very core.
She just nods her head at him in confirmation, tears welling in her eyes as her lip starts to tremble.
This is all becoming too much for her. She doesn't want to let Jay in like this, she can't. She has to at least try to get him to leave again.
"Anyway, uh, thanks for coming by, but honestly I'm fine…" her voice cracks as she says it and the look Jay gives her she knows he's not going anywhere.
That's her breaking point. The tears flowingly start to stream and Jay inches closer to her. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and tucks her head into his chest, just letting her get it all out. They stay like that for what feels like hours, not speaking. Both too afraid to until Hailey's emotions get a little more under control.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I'm never this emotional around others." She finally breaks the silence, pulling away from him, a little reluctantly.
"Don't sweat it, Hailey. This case was personal and meant a lot to you. Besides, we're partners. If we can't be there for each other through the worst, than what's the point right?"
"Yea, I guess you're right. But enough about me, I told you about one of my demons, now it's your turn to tell me one of yours." She says as they both take another long gulp of their whiskeys.
Jay laughs. "Hailey, we would need weeks off at a time for me to tell you about mine."
She smiles back, the tears finally dry off of her face. "Well, I'm not going anywhere."
She looks at him and he stares back, and for the first time it's the most loaded reaction either of them has ever felt. It's as if they're staring into the other's soul, begging to be let in.
Hailey finally looks down and Jay breaks away by looking past her. "Good to know." He says gratefully, and genuinely means it because he knows she means it.
Hailey pours them another drink as they sit back and turn the TV on, watching the screen for a while having no idea what's actually playing.
After a while Jay speaks up again. "Y'know Erin never said goodbye to me right? Just took off without a word."
He doesn't know why he's sharing this with her, but she shared with him, so maybe he feels like he owes her one. The little voice inside his head is telling him it's more than that, but he does his best to bury it.
"I mean, I figured judging how upset you were. I knew she didn't tell the rest of the team, but everyone expected her to at least give you the heads up. We were all too scared to ask if she did. Working with you side-by-side everyday though, I knew she didn't…" she looks at him remorsefully.
"Yea, I mean, we weren't even really together anymore when she left, still, I thought I had at least been worth a goodbye to her…"
"Jay, it's nothing you did. She had a lot going on, and it seems needed the clean break. Was it wrong? Sure. But that's on her, not you! You're a great person who deserves to be treated as a priority."
He smiles at her, shocked for the unintentional compliment. It's certainly a night of firsts for them.
"I know that now, thanks to you."
"Me?" Hailey asks shocked.
"Yea… throughout this whole year you've always had my back, never wavered, despite some really stupid shit on my part. I've never had anyone behind me so much before, except for maybe my mom. It means a lot…"
It's now Hailey's turn to hide her slight blush at the subliminal compliment. "I'll always have your back, Jay. Nothing will ever change that. It's what partners are for, right?"
She echoes his similar words from earlier and he smiles at her. Both have never been happier that he took the chance and showed up on her doorstep tonight. Still, they feel like they're entering unchartered territory. Hailey decides to lighten the mood by turning on a comedy movie. They're grateful to end the emotional talk before it all gets a little too heavy.
An hour into the movie, and the bottle of whiskey now almost officially killed, Hailey ends up laughing hysterically at a certain part as she's taking a sip. Her hand shakes as she laughs and she ends up somehow spilling and spraying the drink in only a way a drunken person can. They both crack up. She shakes the stickiness off her hands as Jay realizes some splashed on her cheek. Without thinking he reaches his hand over and gently wipes it off. That's when it happens – a spark that neither can ignore, especially with their inhibitions down. They're both leaning in at the same time and start kissing.
It's innocent at first, but quickly takes a turn. Minutes pass as they forget the world around them. When they finally take a break to catch their breath, Jay looks at Hailey questioningly, silently asking if this is ok. She can't help it, she knows it's a bad idea, they both do, and yet, she can't stop herself. She ends his doubt by grabbing his neck, latching her lips back onto his and pulling him on top of her. From there, things escalate at lightning speed. Before they know it clothes are off and they're officially doing another first. It ends up being one of the most passionate nights for either of them, even in their drunken haze.
It's not until the crack of dawn, sunlight streaming through the living room windows, wrapped in Jay's arms on the couch with a splitting headache, that Hailey realizes the immense mistake they made. They're partners, neither of them can or should go down this road again. She slowly pulls Jay's arms from off of her and whispers his name softly, not wanting to alarm him, and also figuring he probably also has a hangover.
"Jay…"
"Hmm?..." he stirs and groans out.
She grabs her shirt from off the floor and quickly throws it on. Then starts to pull away fully from him and stands up. Her pounding head regretting that move.
"Jay, we have work in a couple hours. You have to get home…" she says politely, but awkwardly.
He finally sits up, their "predicament" from last night slowly coming back to him. The blanket starts moving in his lap and Hailey quickly throws his pants at him.
They stare at each other through their dehydrated haze, both thinking the same thought- what had they done!? Jay knows it was a horrible idea, but he also can't help wonder how a mistake could possibly feel so right. He knows Hailey is not going to share that viewpoint though, at least out loud nor especially to him at this point in time. He swiftly shuffles his jeans on.
"Hailey…"
"Jay…"
They say at the same time and Jay lets her have it.
"So I think it's best we just forget this ever happened and put it behind us. We don't need something like this complicating matters, especially with our track records. And what we have has been working so well. There's no reason to jeopardize that. Let's just keep things professional."
She says the words, but can't help but feel sad about doing so. If their situations were different, if she had met him at a different time in her life, if they weren't partners, maybe they could explore this and see where it could lead. Because truthfully, if she's being honest, she feels like it could be the start of something great… but they can't take that risk again. The reasons why made them drown a bottle of whiskey together last night.
"I completely agree. What we have right now is too important to screw up. And somehow, I always screw things up. I don't want that for us, Hailey…" he says it so sorrowfully.
"Me either…" she whispers back, the emotion pouring off of them.
They share one last look before moving along. "Alright, you mind if I grab some Advil then I'll head out?" Jay asks.
"Of course, I was just about to get some."
She goes to her bathroom and comes out with the bottle; both fully dressed now, gulping down water and the pain meds. Once that's done, Jay starts making his way over to her door as she follows.
"I guess I'll see ya at the office…" he says, unsure how else to say goodbye. Should he hug her? He doesn't want to make things more awkward than they have to be.
"Yea…" she gives him a small smile.
He decides to proceed with a joke as he opens the door. "Hey Hailey?.."
"Yea?" she eyes him suspiciously.
"You got some body under all that flannel you wear!" he winks at her and smirks.
"Get out!" she shoves him cracking up and giving him one of her biggest eye rolls.
He exits smiling, glad with his approach. They'll be fine. If anyone knows how to not make things awkward, it will be them. However, little did they know yet, this dance was going to go on for a while…
[A/N: And just like that, another Upstead story!.. I will try my best to balance this one along with my episode-writeups one. Bear with me. Unsure how long this will be yet, but you bet that I know where it's going ;) Hope you enjoy and thanks again for all of your kind responses, I appreciate it!]