Work Text:
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
“Get the fucking stretcher, get the stretcher there’s a fucking kid here!”
Andrew Minyard opened his eyes, closing them again immediately to avoid blinding himself with the bright light. He raised his arm to block it out before trying again, groaning as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. His mind couldn’t make sense of all of the noises around him, but he was reluctant to fully open his eyes in case the light hurt them- Andrew was never one to shy away from pain, though, so he forced them open and took in the scene unfolding around him.
Paramedics and police were working in tandem around him, avoiding the burning wreckage of a car to search for something.
Oh. Right, the crash.
Andrew could remember it with startling clarity- The way that Tilda’s head had jerked forward and snapped horribly as it collided with the steering wheel, how his arm had bent wrong as he got thrown against the windscreen. Everything had slowed down the moment that his fingers had closed around the wheel, pulling it hard to the side and sending them hurtling off the road and into the railing that bounded it. Andrew had read before that shock kicked in before death, numbing sensation and allowing the dying party to live out their last moments with minimal distraction. He had even read that sometimes, people’s lives flashed before their eyes immediately before death.
Now, he knew that both of those were bullshit. It had hurt like fuck the entire time, and he had felt every single second of the crash a million times over as the glass gave way and sent him flying out into the frigid air.
The paramedics were running towards him now, and he gaped as they reached through him, launching himself to his feet and turning around.
Everything went quiet around him, and he choked on the air that he didn’t have as he watched the paramedics scrape what was left of him off the road.
He heard the man suck in a breath, releasing it with a shudder. “Fuck, the kid is dead.”
“No shit Darryl, his brains are halfway down the highway. Two DOA’s, let’s just get them cleaned up.” Andrew watched as the man lifted his body, letting it fall like a rag doll as they moved him efficiently to a body bag along with all of the parts of him that they could pick up. Andrew watched, detached as the bag closed over his ruined face.
Aaron was going to kill him. Probably a poor choice of words, but Andrew was too tired to debate the effect of his own death on figures of speech. He watched as they loaded him and the woman that had never been his mother into the ambulance, letting his gaze drift back to the smears of blood on the asphalt that some of the people had stayed to clean away.
Andrew hadn’t meant to die, not really. He had known that it was possible , sure, as soon as he had convinced Aaron to take his place and sat into the car with Tilda for what was going to be her last car ride. He had never minded collateral damage- it seemed almost poetic that he would go out as collateral damage too. It was just too bad that Aaron was going to be left alone now that both of them were gone.
He was probably better off without Andrew, anyways.
He watched the ambulance drive off in silence, before he started to follow it.
*
Aaron was still wearing Andrew’s hoodie when he arrived at the morgue, pale faced and wide eyed. Wide with grief rather than drugs for once- even dead, Andrew felt a faint flicker of relief in his chest. It felt like Tilda’s hold loosening on him a little.
It felt like Andrew not dying in vain.
The mortician stepped forward casting a shadow over the thin white sheet covering Andrew’s corpse, and Andrew watched as Aaron swallowed hard and stopped just over a foot away. The room held its breath as the woman pulled the sheet back and Andrew heard Aaron choke on his breath.
“We need you to identify the body.”
The doctor had done a good job- Andrew looked almost human again, his face put back together meticulously and stitched neatly into place. The resemblance between the dead boy and the one still living was undeniable though. Aaron hardly needed to speak but he did, his voice barely rising above a strangled whisper.
“Fuck, Andrew.”
The woman took that as an answer, nodding once with an expression of sympathy plastered across her face. She put the sheet back in place, and Andrew watched the fabric cover what was left of his face with a mild interest, before returning his attention to Aaron.
The boy’s hands were shaking now, and he raised them to wrap shove them into his hoodie pockets. It could have been the shock of losing his mother or the withdrawal setting in, but Andrew was inclined to believe that it was a little bit of both. Aaron must have come directly from the room that they were keeping Mother Dearest in, because he looked at the doctor and cleared his throat.
“What do I do now? Where do I go?”
She lifted a comforting hand, before letting it fall again. “Your aunt and uncle are here for you, kid.”
Aunt and uncle?
“Aunt and uncle?” Aaron frowned. “Maria and Luther?”
The mortician pressed her lips together and nodded. “You need to sign some papers before you go, but they’re here to take you home after.”
Andrew watched Aaron straighten his back and leave the room, and he followed in silence. Maria and Luther were there waiting for him with open arms, and Andrew fought down the lingering sensation of nausea that had arisen since he had heard their name.
“Aaron, we’re so sorry.” Maria pulled him into a hug, pressing her cheek against his hair while Luther just shook his head.
“Drunk driving, they think. We always figured Tilda would die from her… vices.” Andrew watched Aaron flinch, let the anger rise and wash away like the tide. Luther would get what was coming to him eventually- Andrew would make sure of it.
Aaron worked his jaw, and then opened his mouth to speak. “I just want to lie down.”
Maria looked at Luther, before nodding and leading Aaron out of the room. “Let’s go home, honey. We’ll let you rest before dinner.”
Andrew followed them to the car, watching Aaron duck inside and lowering himself to rest above the car. Aaron would be fine.
He would have to be fine.
Nicholas Hemmick arrived from Germany the following week, and Andrew released the metaphorical breath that he had been holding. He had a fiancé, and a house, and a steady job and a lack of bullshit dogma that made him a much better guardian for Aaron than his parents were.
The house in Columbia was old and creaky, and Andrew found his home among the settling noises there. The cobwebs and dust kept him company while he idly watched over the house- Aaron rarely left his room apart from school, while Nicky flitted in and out of the house for work and groceries and anything that he needed to keep the house running. Their life in the city was quiet and uneventful- that was, until Andrew started to notice Aaron sneaking around more and sneaking girls into his room.
Nicky barely noticed- Andrew supposed that it was unfair to expect him to, with all of the extra shifts that the man was taking at the nightclub he worked at to pay Aaron’s way through school and put food on the table for both of them- but Andrew knew that Aaron was using again. Dime bags quickly turned into smears of powder on countertops, and Andrew noticed Nicky’s savings starting to get a dent in them- this time, the anger wouldn’t wash away the way it usually did.
It only took a fortnight for Andrew’s anger to peak and he took matters into his own hands. He waited for the girl of the day to leave- he thought her name was Krystal, maybe Chrissy. He doubted that Aaron remembered either, but once she was gone Andrew lay in wait until Aaron was passing the bathroom before shoving him inside and slamming the door closed, letting the lock slide into place. He had spent the previous day moving the essentials into the room- some non perishable food, some fresh clothes- while removing the medication and sharp objects so he knew that Aaron would be fine in there until the drugs were out of his system.
The banging started almost instantly, but Andrew relished the sound. It was the sound of Aaron finally getting better, finally shaking off the last of Tilda’s effects on him. He was going to be fine, if it was the last thing that Andrew ever did.
It had been, after all.
“What the fuck? Let me out, fuck!”
He heard Aaron kick at the door before cursing, and then the banging resumed as if it had never stopped. It was fine, Andrew assured himself. It was stop sooner or later, when Aaron started to get tired.
He watched as Aaron slid down the wall, resting his head back against the tile and letting out a slow shuddery breath.
“Someone will get me out of here.” Aaron assured himself, shivering in the cold of the bathroom. Andrew watched as he slid further down, allowing himself to close his eyes. Since he spent most of his time awake and buzzing Aaron could sleep anywhere, which was clear because within a minute, he was slumped and asleep against the wall of the bathroom, his feet against the bathtub stopping him from sliding down onto the floor.
Sooner or later turned out to be late that night, soon after Nicky had returned home from work. The man had tried to open the door and let Aaron out of course, but Andrew had stopped him every time. Soon enough, Nicky gave up too and Andrew’s plan found itself in full swing.
Three days later, the door fell open and a new Aaron crawled out. He was pale and drawn, and shaking like a leaf, but his expression was clearer than Andrew had ever seen it. Nicky helped him to get cleaned up, half lifting half dragging the man to bed so he could finally get some sleep. Andrew stood guard while he rested, waiting until Aaron opened his eyes again to finally relax, watching as the man sat up and took a deep shuddery breath. To Andrew’s surprise, when he lifted his head he saw tears starting to gather in his eyes.
Finally sober, Aaron seemed to take the opportunity of the quiet darkness of the room to mourn the brother he could have had, and the mother who almost ruined him while Andrew kept him silent company.
*
“Roland wants you to cover a shift tonight, says you can have Friday off instead.” Nicky said through a mouthful of toast, putting his coffee down on the table with a clatter and dumping three spoons of sugar into what was left of it.
Aaron groaned and held his own coffee close- black, it was like him and Andrew were barely even related sometimes. “Fine, whatever. Are you working tonight?”
“When am I not working, kid?” Nicky washed down the last of his breakfast with the sickly last dregs of his coffee, before patting Aaron’s head as he grabbed his phone and jacket. “See you after school, make sure you eat something healthy-ish for lunch!”
Aaron rolled his eyes, but Andrew caught the hint of a smile before he shovelled another spoonful of cereal into his mouth- Andrew loved (or as close as a ghost could come to it) these moments, when it seemed like Aaron was really getting better and that Andrew had actually accomplished something. The trip to school was short after that, and Andrew settled himself in for another boring day of high school. Aaron actually went to his classes, for fuck sake. If Andrew could have fallen asleep, he probably would have. He supposed he couldn’t complain, though- all of this would carry Aaron far in life, and wasn’t that the point of everything?
Since he had started working in the same nightclub that Nicky worked in (cleaning dishes out back since he hadn’t yet turned eighteen, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t tend bar too when they were stuck), Aaron was much too tired to get into the same kinds of trouble that he used to, which settled Andrew’s protective instincts slightly- Nicky was a good guardian, he worked hard to keep Aaron safe with a roof over his head and lunch money in his pocket, and he had ensured that Aaron got a good job that would help him to save up for college. The pay was decent, the work was easy enough and it meant that Aaron woke up in the morning scrambling for coffee instead of anything else.
Aaron changed for work in the school bathrooms once the final bell had rung, before catching a bus to the other side of town and walking to the bar. His shift wasn’t due to start for forty-five minutes, but he would need the time for homework- his calculus class was killing him, he needed as much time to get through the exercises as possible. He’d be fine, though- Andrew would help him find the answers however he could, as usual.
The usual customers greeted him as he walked in, and he shot them a tight lipped smile on his way to the backroom. He set up in his usual spot, propping his textbook up against one of the staff lockers and opening it to the right place, copying down the questions that he had to do. Andrew, bored, took the opportunity to allow himself to zone out while the other boy worked. Being so present in Aaron’s life took a lot of energy, a lot more energy than Andrew had anticipated that it would. Still though, it was too late to back out now- he had already died for the kid, what was a little exhaustion?
It felt like no time at all before Aaron was getting ready for work for the night, and Andrew allowed his attention to wander a little to the goings on of the bar. Business was starting to pick up, like it usually did on Fridays- in no time it would be full of drunk people trying to have a good time and fuck in the back rooms. Andrew hated the place. He knew that the place was necessary- Nicky needed the money to keep the house and buy food, and Aaron needed the distraction to stay sober and focus on school. Still though, it was dirty work and the sooner they were all shot of the place, the better.
Time spilled out like a dying battery over the course of the night, slow like Andrew was watching it through honey until something shattered the syrupy slowness like the breaking of glass. He heard shouting from outside, quickly moving himself to inspect what was going on. The outdoor air was sticky with tension, and it took Andrew a couple of seconds to make sense of what he was looking at.
Nicky .
Four men had trapped the man who Andrew had come to care about in the alleyway behind the club, nudging him with their feet before landing another kick squarely into his stomach. Nicky cried out, spitting blood tinged saliva out onto the asphalt.
Andrew’s vision went red, and he felt himself flicker before slightly before turning his energy back inside. He needed to get Aaron, he needed to-
It turned out that he didn’t need to get Aaron, because the fight had caught someone’s attention and word had quickly spread inside. Andrew watched as his twin burst out through the staff door, his shout catching the attention of the men for a moment.
“Leave him alone you fucking assholes!” Aaron ran forward, keeping most of his attention on Nicky. Aaron had always wanted to be a doctor- He was probably looking for all of the ways he could help his cousin. The men weren’t done though, it seemed, and the next hit caught Aaron square on the jut of his jaw, sending him down beside the other man. Time seemed to lurch, and Andrew’s vision swam as the memory of the taste of broken glass filled his mouth.
He needed to help them.
He saw Aaron go down again, the man standing above him raising his leg to knock him out before he was startled into motion. He reached out and then pushed his arms apart, sending the man sprawling out on the asphalt. Aaron blinked and then reached out for Nicky, and Andrew took a quick stock check of their wellbeing before turning to the other men.
They took a step towards Nicky, and Andrew allowed himself to smile, flickering slightly and making them stop short.
“What the-”
Andrew cracked his knuckles, and then tilted his head. “I’d run, if I were you.”
He heard Aaron gasp behind him, his quiet voice unmissable. “ Andrew .”
One of the men backed up, but Andrew anticipated the other one pushing forward and lashed out, lacerating the man's arm and sending him screaming backwards and cradling his arm.
"What the fuck are you, man?"
Behind him, Nicky started to pray.
The men were staring at him so Andrew allowed his smile to take on a biting edge, his face far too white in the stark moonlight.
"Boo."
Before the men could make their exit, the sound of sirens shattered the stillness like a hammer hitting a gong. Andrew flickered out of view, as Aaron finally stumbled to his feet.
Three policemen approached the scene, one going to inspect the man's injuries while the other two made their way over to where Nicky was lying, with Aaron between them as a barrier.
“What the hell happened here kid?”
“They attacked my cousin, I was working inside when I heard the noise.” Aaron lied easily, only the crack in his voice betraying him- although, Andrew knew that the police would just take that as him being upset at Nicky’s injuries.
“He’s a fucking psycho man!” One of the men finally piped up, blood starting to trickle through the gaps between his fingers as he cradled his arm. “He could have killed me!”
The policeman sighed. “You know we have to take you in.”
Aaron grimaced. “What’s gonna happen to Nicky?”
“There’s an ambulance on its way, my colleagues are gonna wait here with him while I write you up back at the station.”
Aaron looked reluctant to leave, and Andrew could see that the policeman understood. “Look, kid. We just need to write you up, write those men up and then I can drop you at the hospital.”
He finally won Aaron over it seemed, and Andrew watched his brother sit into the police car with minimal complaint after that. Torn, Andrew watched the lights fade off into the distance, taking a last glance at Nicky’s freshly bruising face before following his brother to the police station.
*
For once Andrew heard the doorbell before Aaron did, which was hardly surprising since his twin had been buried in a textbook, his usual emo mix playing loud enough to hear through his earphones. He didn’t need to do anything though, because after a half minute Nicky came to the door, knocking gently with his good hand.
“Aaron?”
Aaron startled, and then put his pencil in his book to hold his place. “Mm?”
“There’s a man here to talk to you.”
“Who the fuck would want to talk to me?”
Nicky shrugged, the movement awkward with how his cast was positioned. Aaron groaned, pushing the book away with his hand and then reaching for his hoodie to cover the t-shirt that he had been wearing for two days.
The man was waiting for them in their sitting room, politely taking in his surroundings and looking at each of the few photos that Nicky had managed to collect since they had moved in- with a distant pang, Andrew recognised his own face in a photo that had been taken when he had first moved in with Tilda. Aaron must have taken them with him in the move.
If Andrew had been alive, he was almost certain that the feeling he was having would be described as fond .
Disgusting.
“Hello.” Aaron’s voice was void of any inflection, grumpy from being disturbed from his study session. If they hadn’t looked alike, they really would have been complete opposites.
“Hey. Aaron, right?” The man extended a hand, and when Aaron didn’t take it he let it fall again with no change in his expression. His voice was rough around the edges, yet gentle in a way that showed that he had experience talking to teenagers like Aaron.
Andrew would know- he had spent… the entirety of his life, minus the last couple of months hearing adults talking to him exactly the way that the stranger was talking to his brother.
Aaron hummed. “Who are you?”
“My name is David Wymack.” The man waited a moment as if they should have heard of him before, but when neither of the two men answered he chuckled and continued. “I’m the coach of an exy team. Have you ever heard of Palmetto State?”
Faint recognition was clear on Aaron’s face, and he frowned. “That team on the news? The-”
“Foxes, yeah.” Wymack grinned. “So you’ve heard of us. How would you like to join us?”
Aaron blinked, his breathing catching in a laugh. “You can’t be serious. I don’t do sports.”
“Would a full ride scholarship change your mind on that?”
Andrew choked on air he didn’t have in his lungs. He knew just how much a full ride would mean to Aaron, to Nicky- Nicky had been working himself to the bone to help pay for the medical degree that Aaron wanted to do, and without the extra stress the man would actually be able to sleep sometimes. He knew that Aaron knew it too, so it hardly came as a surprise when Aaron immediately changed his tune.
"Where do I sign?"
Wymack smiled. "That's exactly what I'd hoped you'd say."
Aaron blinked, and then cracked the closest thing to a smile that Andrew had seen in a while.
*
Trouble walked into Andrew’s second life with a spring in her step, her pink backpack hitting the table next to Aaron with a thump that made his brother jerk awake where he had been slowly falling asleep at his desk.
“Is this seat taken?”
Trouble’s hair was just short of strawberry blonde, her eyes bright and blue in the harsh fluorescents of the lab- Andrew could practically see Aaron’s heart stall.
Oh, for fuck sake.
“No, no. You can sit there.” A beat, and then Aaron seemed to remember social convention. “Aaron Minyard.”
“Nice to meet you, Aaron Minyard.” Trouble sat down on the stool, tucking her leg inside the horizontal bar before taking her notebook and pencil case out. Putting the bag on the floor, she straightened back up to start pulling her hair into a high ponytail. “Katelyn Sullivan.”
Katelyn. It was a nice name, Andrew supposed, but girls always meant trouble for Aaron so he would have to find a way to scare her off. It wouldn’t be hard- it never was.
Aaron aimed for a smile, almost hitting it, before turning back around in his seat to face the board. Despite his best efforts, Andrew saw him stealing glances at her as the hour passed slowly and to his dismay Katelyn seemed to be looking over just as much.
Eventually, the bell rang and Aaron swore quietly as he saw how little notes he had written- Aaron’s notes were always pristine and perfect, his goals of getting into medical school fuelling him to be focused in class, but now all he had was a page or so of short notes. Seeing his predicament, Katelyn giggled.
“It can be pretty hard to keep up; you seemed tired when I first came in.” She paused, considering, and then smiled brightly. “If you want to give me your phone number, I can send you my notes?”
Aaron’s ears went pink, and they traded numbers before getting ready to move to their next respective classes. Andrew watched his brother stare after her as she left, before looking down at his phone in faint shock. Andrew rolled his eyes. It would have been cute, if it wasn’t a bad idea for Aaron to be getting himself involved with girls again now that he was clean and on the honour roll. There would be time for girls when he was older and more settled, Andrew supposed. He wondered if he would still be there to see it.
*
Katelyn was like a bad rash, Andrew was pretty fucking sure. She just wasn’t going away, no matter how hard Andrew tried to scare her off- and he was trying. She was a cheerleader, so her and Aaron had plenty of time to spend together too. It was disgusting . Nicky loved her, but of course he did. Nicky loved anything that made Aaron happy, and if Katelyn was good for anything Andrew supposed that it was making Aaron happy.
They had been dating for almost a month now, trading notes turning into almost constant texting that evolved over a couple of weeks into Aaron’s first significant relationship, much to Andrew’s anger. Just because he was dead didn’t mean Aaron could start dating whoever he wanted- Andrew hadn’t forgotten the girls from Aaron’s highschool, the ones who had only hung around him for the drugs and the sex. They had a deal , for fuck sake, and Andrew wasn’t just going to let Aaron forget to keep up his end that easily.
Andrew had tried his hardest to make her life as close to a living hell since then- making her things go missing, making her spill things on her clothes, slamming the locking door almost fast enough to catch her fingers every time she went to close it. He hid her hairbrush and her uniform before games so she’d be late and tripped her as she tried to find them. When Aaron tried for affection, Andrew would pull him back until eventually they just gave up. Since Aaron had seen him that night in Columbia, he swore at Andrew as soon as Katelyn was gone, but Andrew knew better. He just wanted Aaron to be safe, that was all.
They had a deal, Andrew would remind him, but Aaron would just huff and leave the room.
Eventually though, Katelyn started to show her true colours. Andrew could see her starting to get less scared and more angry as Aaron explained everything to her, explained Andrew to her. The next day, she had gone and bought a kilo of salt, salting her doors and windows so that Andrew couldn’t come inside.
“Andrew won’t be able to follow you here.” She had said, and Aaron had thrown his arms around her neck with a grin.
Andrew had never seen anything quite like Katelyn Sullivan, and he was pretty sure that there was no going back for Aaron, now. At least she was good for him, loathe as Andrew was to admit it.
The happy couple’s lives settled into an easy routine, the easiest thing that Aaron had probably ever had in his life as far as Andrew was aware. Katelyn was a good girlfriend, not that Andrew would have known. He had never dated anyone, and even if he had she wouldn’t exactly have been his type . Aaron clearly loved her- loved her enough to start seeing the university therapist (a dumpy woman named Betsy; Andrew liked her) and actually start working through the shit that he had been putting up with his whole life. Andrew didn’t go anywhere. He didn’t even know where he would end up, if he went. Aaron didn’t tell Betsy about Andrew.
Andrew figured it was probably for the best.
Andrew fell into a routine too- for the most part, he stopped bothering Aaron and Katelyn, resigning to him for one long neverending day of monotony. He didn’t complain. It was better than dying at 16, he supposed. At least this way no one could hurt him, and he could stop people from hurting his family. He couldn’t do that when he was alive, not like this.
It wasn’t like he was idle , anyway. There were plenty of people to torment around the university even now that he wasn’t trying to ruin his brother’s girlfriend’s life- the opposing teams and cheerleaders, for one. He had plenty to do, and he liked getting the chance to watch Aaron’s life from the sidelines, watching as he made something of himself. They were Minyards after all, and Minyards never got higher than rock bottom- that’s what their dear old mother always used to say but as per usual Aaron lived to prove them all wrong.
He could see Aaron starting to worry, though. He had long since gotten used to Andrew’s presence in his life, his incessant need to protect his brother by hanging around as much as he could. Therefore, it wasn’t exactly a surprise when one night, in the silence of his room as Aaron pored over whatever medical textbook he was annotating that night Andrew heard him sigh and then speak.
“Andrew?”
Andrew turned, where he was relaxing in one of the upper corners of the room. He hadn’t quite perfected speaking out loud, but he could still get his point across without it.
Yes?
Aaron sighed, a sad smile tugging at his lips. “Of course you’re listening. Me and Katie were talking…”
Andrew didn’t like where this was going.
“We think that maybe… Andrew, do you know what ghosts are?”
Andrew would have laughed if he could have. Oh, I wonder.
Aaron rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Hilarious. Do you?”
No. The metaphysics of undeath hadn’t exactly been keeping Andrew up at night, or so to speak. He had been too busy keeping his brother safe for that.
“Well, it’s interesting.” Aaron cleared his throat, closing his textbook. “Most books on the subjects say that ghosts are just people with unfinished business.”
He thought about it and he supposed that it was true. He had unfinished business- yes, killing Tilda had been the first step in the direction of keeping Aaron safe, but it wasn’t the only one. I had to make sure you were safe.
“I understand that now, Drew. I do , but I’m safe now.” Aaron sighed. “I didn’t understand, but I do now.”
You don’t know that you’re safe now.
“No one can know that, Andrew. It’s part of being human, but I do know that I’m a whole lot safer now than I was when I was sixteen. I owe that to you, but it’s time for you to let go.”
You want me to go? That hurt more than Andrew had been expecting it to. He hadn’t ever thought that he was Aaron’s favourite person, but he had thought that they had gotten a lot closer since he went to university.
“Andrew, I-” Aaron made a complicated face, and he rubbed his face before trying again. “I want this for you . Don’t you want everlasting peace or whatever the hell people say comes after?”
If he was being honest, Andrew wasn’t sure if he did. He didn’t know what came after, not like he knew how to be Aaron’s brother. That clearly wasn’t the answer that Aaron was looking for though.
I could stay here, and keep you both safe.
Aaron shook his head. “Don’t you think it’s time to finally put yourself first, Andrew?”
It’s a little late for that.
He watched his brother take a deep breath. Oh dear.
“Andrew, we all need to move on. You can’t be happy stuck here looking out for me, and I-” Aaron took a breath. “I can’t move on if I’m being haunted by my dead twin brother. You can see that, right? I can’t be happy knowing that you’re stuck here because of me. That you died because of me.”
Andrew said nothing, so Aaron continued. “You wanted to keep me safe, and you did it Andrew. I couldn’t have had any of this without you, but you’re done now. You can rest , now.”
I don’t know what to do if I’m not taking care of you.
Aaron’s face did something complicated, so Andrew started again. I don’t know who I am if I’m not protecting anyone.
“Andrew, you deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy. I wish things could be different, I wish you were alive but you’re not and you need to move on. ”
There isn’t any light at the end of my tunnel, Aaron. It’s just this.
“You have to want it, Drew.” Aaron was almost crying now, and if Andrew’s heart still worked it would have been breaking. “You have to want it, and then you can go.”
Andrew thought about it. It wasn’t fair , that Aaron got to have all of this and all that Andrew got was death and sadness and self sacrifice. Maybe Andrew did deserve to be somewhere where he didn’t have to worry anymore. He didn’t want to be a ghost. He wanted to be happy- He wanted to be alive , but it was a little too late for that now. The light was the only hope for him.
It started out as a faint glimmer in the corner, but soon enough, a blinding white patch of light started to open itself up. It cast away every shadow in the room, throwing every corner and every surface into bright stark clarity. Andrew had never seen anything like it, and he ached for it, so badly that it scared him. He pulled back hard, reaching out to try and hold onto his brother. He had worked so hard to make sure Aaron had a good life, he didn’t want to miss out on it now. Aaron sniffed from where he was sitting, and Andrew turned to see him watching him with wide eyes.
“Andrew, it’s okay,” Aaron’s voice cracked horribly. “You can let go, it’s okay.”
Andrew braced himself with a nod, before letting the light wash over him. It felt like sunlight on his skin- after feeling nothing since he died, it was intoxicating. He leaned into it, and for the first time in a long time, he felt his heart stutter in his chest.
The light faded in Aaron’s room, and the man watched the empty air for a few moments before reaching for his phone. Katelyn would want to hear about this- even though they had gotten off to a rocky start, Katelyn had quickly realised that her and Andrew had similar goals. Maybe during the weekend they could go and visit his grave, leave some flowers and say goodbye. Give him a nice send off, let him know that they missed him.
It was what Andrew deserved, after all.