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the overwhelming smell of the ocean reminds him of home. not seoul, not the tiny apartment he managed to get when he moved there, not the sand inside his lungs from all the pollution he breathes every time he leaves the place, but his real home, the small house near busan’s ocean. the house where he grew up for so long, the ocean smell an unforgettable scent after years of watching the waves rocking the water outside his childhood bedroom window.
there's a faint yellow light and bright orange shades reflecting on everything around jeongguk, from the concrete sidewalk he’s standing on to the outside tables on the restaurant near him and the camera feels weightless in his hands. it’s an old thing, something he bought before he even started university, but it’s good enough for now. it does its job and that’s enough for what jeongguk needs.
his eyes are burning from the constant sunlight coming from the lowering sun on the horizon and his lungs hurt from all the running he did, but he pulls through. raises the camera up to his face level and looks at the display, closing his left eye as he tries to find a good angle.
except nothing feels right .
his index finger keeps hovering over the shutter button, but he can’t force himself to push it. something’s wrong with the lenses, but he can’t seem to figure out what . the lighting is fucked up, the lenses aren’t focused at all and for a second something like dread sets itself on jeongguk’s stomach.
this was a mistake.
“ your lenses are out of place. ” the english words coming from his somewhere by his side startles jeongguk and he almost drops the camera, hands suddenly grabbing it tighter when it almost slips from his fingers, the image of the device shattering on the concrete under his feet all he can see for a split second. and if something that sounds eerily similar to a shriek leaves his lips, jeongguk certainly won’t mention as he turns to where the voice came from.
there’s a man sitting on a table that belongs to the bay’s restaurant he’s nearby, barely two meters from where jeongguk currently stands. he’s wearing a black bucket hat, an equally black facemask pulled up to his nose. jeongguk hugs his camera to his chest, regrets losing the lanyard it had come with, resulting in him having to carry it in his hands everywhere.
“uh— excuse me? ” jeongguk’s voice cracks, accent thick on his tongue from years of barely speaking the language. he’s still slightly out of breath from all the walking he did to get there.
the guy tips his head back so he can look at jeongguk under the rim of his hat but still not enough that jeongguk can see his eyes, glancing at the camera he’s holding. “ your camera. the lenses you’re using aren’t correctly placed, that’s why the focus looks weird. ”
jeongguk blinks. holds the camera tighter against his chest, hands unconsciously pressing it harder against himself. tries to rack his brain and place meaning to the words he heard but comes up empty, unable to understand the full meaning of what the guy is trying to tell him.
he gives it a shot. “you don’t happen to speak korean, do you?” he cringes as he speaks, words coming out faster than he wanted them to, stumbling through his own words as he regrets it the moment they’re out.
except the guy chuckles at him, pulling the face mask to rest under his chin. “i’m korean. i said your lenses are crooked, that’s why your focus probably look all weird.”
“oh.” jeongguk exclaims, looking down at his camera. he can see what the guy means, looking at it from this angle it’s easy to tell the lenses aren’t fully fixed to the camera. he adjusts it, taking the lenses off and rotating them in again, looking at the display to find that, yeah , looks decent now.
there’s pink underneath his face as he looks up again, cheeks burning from the sunlight shining directly on his face and from his own embarrassment. “thank you, i didn’t notice that. thought i’d broken it for a second.”
“it’s fine, kid, don’t worry.” the guy’s voice isn’t mocking, but jeongguk still feels shame simmering under his skin at looking like an idiot barely two hours after he arrived there. “go ahead, try to take that picture now. the sunset looks especially beautiful today.”
so jeongguk tries. brings the camera up to his face level, the display no longer the mess it looked like before, and he does press the shutter button down this time. presses on it one, two, three times; keep doing it until the sun is barely above the skyline anymore and the water is tinted red with the shadow the sun creates over it. his fingers itch to check the results but he promised himself he wouldn’t check any of the pictures he’d take until the end of the day.
he turns around, looks at the guy from before who’s watching him with an amused smirk on his lips, mask still pulled under his chin.
“thank you.” he repeats, bowing a little, the tradition nothing more than a reflex. “if i may ask, how did you know it was out of place? i’m just curious.”
the man shrugs, picks up a drink that jeongguk hadn’t even realized it was on the table and takes a small sip of it. “it was obvious from a side perspective, and i’ve had enough cameras in my hand to recognize it. i just figured i’d tell you since you looked like you were going to cry looking at that display.”
jeongguk laughs, embarrassed. “well, thank you regardless.” that’s the part where he wanders away, his missions accomplished, the promise of coming back to the hotel before it got too dark glowing red in his brain with the sun lowering itself more into the water at each passing minute. but his brain to mouth filter is malfunctioning and his lips don’t know when to stay shut. “any more tips to share?”
the guy chuckles, a low sound that jeongguk can barely make it from where he stands, but he holds the camera tight against his chest and gets ready to apologize and leave, warmth burning in his cheeks once again. “sure. take a seat, i’ll get you a drink and we can talk.”
so jeongguk goes, ignoring the way his brain keeps reminding him that it’s getting dark and he didn’t really focused on the way he took to get there. he gets inside the restaurant and no one pays him any attention as he makes his way to the outside tables, spotting the guy he was talking to easily enough.
he heads there slowly, the man pointing at the chair opposite to his with the drink in his hand. jeongguk sits down carefully, placing his backpack on the ground as he studies the guy from up close this time, camera on his lap between his hands.
he looks younger, up close. the button nose, the small cupid bow that gives way to thin, pink lips that looks wet from his drink. jeongguk can see his eyes now, too, the cat-like shape they have even under the shadow the bucket hat creates. he hugs the camera closer to him, the device still on his lap as he doesn’t want to store it inside his bag and end up accidentally damaging it.
“how does a photographer not realize his lenses are out of place?” if the man's tone of voice didn’t sound like genuine curiosity, jeongguk might have been offended by his words. “no offense, of course.”
“‘m not a photographer.” he mumbles, voice still incredibly shy. sitting this close to a stranger makes jeongguk’s shyness strike and he can’t force his voice higher without it breaking every other word. the guy sitting in front of him flags down a waiter to come to the table and when jeongguk asks for a glass of water with his broken english, he sees the guy smiling from the corner of his eye.
“that’s an old model of a quite expensive camera for someone who isn’t a photographer to have.” his words aren’t rude, but jeongguk still feels embarrassment burning in his cheeks for the third time that afternoon. the guy cringes after a few seconds, hands reaching up to scratch at his nape. “that was a bit rude, i’m sorry.”
jeongguk shakes his head. “it’s fine.” the waiter comes back then, placing his water glass on the table as jeongguk nods in appreciation. “just trying out an old hobby, but i wouldn’t consider myself a photographer.”
the guy seems to be thinking as jeongguk sips on his water, discomfort slipping inside his veins at the sudden silence. “it’s jeongguk, by the way.” he says, playing with the condensation running down the water glass, making shapeless figures on it. “my name. it’s jeongguk.”
“oh, right. i’m sorry, i forgot to introduce myself. i’m yoongi.” yoongi nods at him in acknowledgment, and jeongguk gives him a tight lipped smile, taking another sip from his water. “if you feel comfortable, can i see the pictures you just took? it’s ok if you don’t want to or if they’re private.”
jeongguk holds the camera tighter on his lap, pulling it more towards his stomach. yoongi seems to realize that, if the way his eyes widen slightly is anything to go by. “that’s probably way out of my place to ask, i’m sorry. i just got curious, you seemed to be really into it and i’m sure the results came out great.”
when jeongguk looks up, yoongi’s already staring at him, and he sees nothing but genuine curiosity and sincerity in his eyes.
so he places the camera in the table, pushing it slightly towards the other. “i haven’t looked at it yet but uh, yeah. i hope they’re not too bad.”
yoongi hesitates before picking up the camera, looking at where its placed on the table. “are you sure? i don’t want to overstep.”
but jeongguk has nothing to lose, so he gives the camera a small push towards the other again, slushing further on his seat, shoving both of his hands between his thighs. “i don’t mind. go ahead.”
so jeongguk sits there and watches as yoongi picks up the camera from the table, with careful hands and eyes focused on him, like he’s looking for any sign of discomfort but jeongguk knows he won’t find any, because he’s not uncomfortable. embarrassed? yes, but not uncomfortable. the guy doesn’t seem the kind to make fun of him if the pictures turn out awful so jeongguk doesn’t really mind.
he seems to know what he’s doing, if the confident grip on the camera and the way his fingers move quickly over the buttons next to the display are anything to go by, and jeongguk feels nervous all of sudden.
if the guy knew his lenses were misplaced, he’ll certainly be able to tell if jeongguk sucks at this, even if he won’t directly tell him that.
yoongi spends a whole minute going through the pictures on jeongguk’s camera, and jeongguk counts every second inside his brain, hoping he didn’t just embarrass himself even more to a complete stranger. he picks up his water glass and drinks a bit from it, hoping he won’t go back to his airbnb with shame burning in his gut.
but as soon as the minute ends, and yoongi glances at him. “are you sure you’re not a photographer?”
jeongguk almost chokes on his water, coughing a little as he puts the glass back on the table. “uh, yeah? why? is it that awful?”
“no, no, this is— this is really great. like, really. you have some actual potential, kid.” there’s heat burning on jeongguk’s whole face, embarrassment simmering in his stomach as he can’t find an ounce of insincerity in the other’s words. “with some editing this can turn out even better.”
“i— thank you. i’m really not that good at it and i haven’t... picked up a camera in a few years, so i’m sure i’m rusty.” jeongguk takes back the camera when yoongi hands it to him, placing it back on his lap where he can hold it.
“well kid, if this is you being rusty, i can barely imagine what you can do when you’ve practiced.” yoongi’s words are genuine, and jeongguk’s face keeps getting redder by the minute, head lowered so he can stare at his lap, playing with a loose thread on his jeans.
“‘m not a kid.” he mumbles, biting the inside of his cheek, glancing up again. “but thank you regardless.”
“how old are you?” he asks, taking another sip from his own drink, and he smiles when jeongguk answers he’s twenty one. “i’m twenty five so, yes, you’re a kid.”
jeongguk laughs. smiles to the table, grabs his water glass but doesn’t bring it up just yet. “how do you know so much about photography? you’re the one who’s a professional or something?” and when yoongi laughs, it comes in the form of a low rumble that barely reaches his ears, but it still makes him smile a tiny bit wider.
“one could say it’s something like that, yeah.” and then yoongi smiles back at him, a gummy smile that fits so well on his face that jeongguk can’t believe he’s real for a second.
but the moment passes and jeongguk takes a sip of his water and then they talk . talk about the island, talk about how long they’ve been there for; how long they’re staying. yoongi doesn’t ask the reason he’s there and he doesn’t ask either, but god, do they talk . until jeongguk’s water turns lukewarm and the condensation that ran down the glass has formed a small puddle on the table and yoongi’s drink is long gone. talk until the sun is completely gone from the horizon and the moon’s following its way up to the dark sky above them.
and when jeongguk picks up his phone from his pocket after hours, and the bright 21h40 shines back at him, he finally realizes it’s completely dark and he still doesn’t remember the way back to his airbnb.
“fuck.” he mutters under his breath, regret starting to seep in as he wonders how the fuck he’ll get back considering he has no data to search it up on google, nothing but the address of the place and a few euros inside his bag that could probably not pay a single method of transportation back.
god, he’s so fucked.
“is everything alright?” yoongi’s voice snaps his attention back to the table, to the older man sitting in front of him now with a frown on his face as he stares at jeongguk with confusion.
“uh, yeah. it’s fine. hey, do you have data? i, uh— i didn’t have the money to get a portable wifi and i don’t know the way back to my airbnb yet. it’s fine if you don’t, i’m probably jus—”
yoongi interrupts him before he can finish. “hey, it’s fine. don’t stress over it. do you have the address? i can take you there, i rented a car when i first got here. it’s parked just by the small concrete blocks you probably passed to get here.”
jeongguk’s already shaking his head before the other can even finish talking. “no, i can’t ask you for that, it’s fine, i’ll figure something out. i don’t want to be a bother.”
yoongi scoffs, starting to get up from his seat as he pulls the face mask from under his chin so it sits on his face again. “if it was a bother i wouldn’t be offering, c’mon, i can’t let you walk at night like this when you don’t know the place and you don’t have a way to communicate with someone if you need help.”
jeongguk stays at his seat when the older man starts walking, hands playing with the camera on his lap as he tries to sort through his thoughts. it takes a few seconds for yoongi to realize he’s not following him and he turns around. “you barely know me. we just met like four hours ago. how do i know you’re not a serial killer? how do you know i’m not a serial killer?”
that takes a smile out of the other, and his eyes crinkle above the mask. “a serial killer would never put themselves in a place where someone can doubt them, which you just did. besides, you’re too cute to be a serial killer. c’mon, i’ll be waiting outside.” then he leaves.
jeongguk stays behind for a few more seconds, unsure hands reaching to grab his backpack still by the chair’s side, mentally weighing his options.
he could, ideally, put himself out there and try to figure out his way back. but flashbacks of all the small streets and empty alleys flash in his mind and jeongguk decides to go with the potential serial killer choice. besides, he doesn’t really think yoongi’s a serial killer. he wasn’t being serious when he said that, but considering his options, well .
being murdered in a car didn’t seem all that bad.
so he picks up his backpack, throws it over one of his shoulders as he holds his camera tighter in his hands. walks out of the restaurant with his heart in his throat and a silent prayer to the universe in mind.
yoongi’s waiting for him right at the entrance to the restaurant, just like he said he would, and no one stops jeongguk on his way out. he has car keys in his hand, head lowered as he scrolls through the phone in the other, absent to his surroundings. he looks up at jeongguk when he hears the front door bell, a gentle smile forming on his face when he spots him.
“decided i was worth the risk?” his voice isn’t sarcastic but jeongguk can pick up the teasing lilt to his tone, and he smiles before he can think better of it. now, when they’re both standing, jeongguk realises the older man is a few inches shorter than him, black, large clothes covering his entire body.
“if i’m about to get murdered it better be in an expensive car, no?”
and yoongi laughs, god he laughs , and his eyes crinkle at the corner and his gums show as his lips pull back and jeongguk might be way more enamoured than he’s ready to admit.
even to himself.
it’s quiet after jeongguk tells yoongi his airbnb address and he puts it on the car’s GPS, and the only sound is coming from the tires running on concrete. jeongguk remembers how long it took him to get to the bay, but it only takes them about fifteen minutes by car to reach the address. yoongi parks right under the stairs that take jeongguk to the house he’s staying at, and jeongguk hesitates for a second.
“i can pay you back for that water if you want. as a thank you.” jeongguk hasn’t even finished talking when yoongi scoffs, rolling his eyes and turning the engine off as he pulls his mask down again.
“i said i’d buy you a drink, kid, you’re fine. and if you’re trying to thank me for the ride, there’s no need.” it’s quiet again for a few seconds, and jeongguk doesn’t know what to say anymore. “i guess you could answer one question as a thank you.”
jeongguk snaps his head to him, eyes wide like a deer caught in the red lights. yoongi takes a look at him and chuckles, hands dropped to his lap. “calm down, i’m just curious. i’m gonna take that as a yes so, how did you get to the bay? i figured you had taken the bus at first but when you said you didn’t know the way back i got a little bit confused.”
jeongguk relaxes in his seat at the words, head turning so he can look outside the window to the stairs waiting for him. “i walked.”
yoongi laughs by his side and jeongguk turns to stare at him again, a neutral expression on his face that makes yoongi stop laughing after a few seconds. “shit, you’re being serious? that’s like a fucking hour-long walk. under the sun.”
jeongguk shrugs as he takes off his seatbelt, picking up his bag from the car floor. “i didn’t mind the walk, besides, i didn’t know there were buses that went there. thank you for the info, though.”
he sees yoongi slightly shaking his head by his side as he opens the door, closing it softly behind him and leaning on the open window. “thank you for the ride. i really appreciate not getting lost on my first day here.”
yoongi nods at him, starting the engine again as he looks at him. “my pleasure. it was nice meeting you, jeongguk.”
he taps the car door two times, smiling at yoongi as he pulls away, shrugging his bag up his shoulder. “i can say the same to you, yoongi-ssi. thank you for the ride again.”
jeongguk is climbing the first step of the stairs when he hears yoongi calling his name. he’s leaning against the window when jeongguk turns around. “don’t give up on those pictures, yeah? you have some talent in you, kid, don’t let it go to waste.”
jeongguk smiles at him, a small thing, but it’s as genuine as it gets. “i won’t. thank you, yoongi.”
yoongi grins. “see you around, kid.”
and then he takes off, and jeongguk climbs the rest of the stairs up, taking the key out of his bag.
he doesn’t look at the pictures, that night. he takes a shower and puts both his phone and camera to charge and gets something to eat, but he doesn’t take a look at a single picture he took of that sunset.
but, still, he goes to sleep with yoongi’s expression as he scrolled through them engraved inside his brain as the ocean’s smell coming from right outside the window lulls him to sleep.
◇◆◇◆
the sun is high up in the sky by the time jeongguk leaves his airbnb, sleep still clinging to his head as he stumbles down the stairs, backpack thrown over his shoulder, camera held tight in his hands as he looks at his phone for the closest bus stop that would take him where he wants to go. his stomach hurts from being empty for longer than what he’s used to and he makes a mental note of grabbing lunch when he can.
jeongguk had, admittedly, not done a lot of research on the island. he had gotten the cheapest airbnb closest to the places he wanted to go to the most and he only scanned the places he could go, which is how he ended up where he is at right now, on the sidewalk of a beach after being on a bus for almost half an hour. there’s tourists out and about around him, chatter filling his ears and blocking the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore of the ocean he’s nearby.
even then, nothing can really stop the salty smell the breeze brings from the sea.
it’s a black sanded beach, but jeongguk has yet to reach the center of it where most people are probably gathered, walking on the sidewalk at a slow pace, stopping to take a few pictures when he catches a scenery worth of it.
he’s passing by a group of people when he hears it, wondering if he should maybe find a shop where he can buy a lanyard so he doesn’t have to constantly be scared of accidentally dropping his very expensive camera on the concrete.
“jeongguk?” it makes him turn around quickly, which ends up with him almost bumping into someone as he rushes to apologize, pulling his camera against his chest again.
there’s a car slowly running by his side with the passenger window rolled down and it takes jeongguk a few seconds to recognize who’s behind the wheel.
“oh, yoongi-ssi.” he bows a little, eyes going wide as he steps closer to the car so he can stop standing in the middle of the sidewalk. “good morning.”
“good afternoon, kid.” the older man has sunglasses on this time, so jeongguk can’t see his eyes again, but he’s smiling at him, so he smiles back. “don’t tell me you walked here again.”
jeongguk laughs, smile crinkling up his eyes as his teeth show. yoongi has stopped the car by now, and jeongguk considers a small blessing that there aren’t any other cars on the street.
“no, i took the bus this time. thank you for the advice.” he bows a bit, shrugging his backpack up his shoulder when it starts slipping.
yoongi chuckles at him, leaning against the driver’s seat as he stares at jeongguk through the sunglasses. “i’m gonna be honest, i didn’t expect to see you anywhere near this beach.”
jeongguk walks a bit closer to the car, cocking his head to the side. “why? do i look like i don’t like beaches?”
the elder laughs then, the same laugh jeongguk heard the day before, where his eyes crinkle on the side and his gums show. “you haven’t done a lot of research, have you?”
jeongguk laughs lightly, embarrassment starting to creep on him as he feels clueless to what the other is trying to imply.
yoongi must sense how clueless he is, because he smiles bashfully, and if jeongguk looked closer, he could swear there is some redness under his cheeks. “you do know this is a nudists beach, right?”
for a few seconds, jeongguk just stares at him, blinking slowly, waiting for yoongi to start laughing and tell him he was joking, just messing with him a bit. and when he doesn’t, just stays there staring at jeongguk with an embarrassed smile on his face, jeongguk could probably dig a hole in the concrete he’s standing if he wanted to hard enough.
“you’re genuinely not joking, are you?” his voice is small, and it would get lost under all the noise around them if he wasn’t so close to the car.
that drags a laugh from yoongi, but it isn’t a mocking one, but like what jeongguk said was funny to him. “i’m not, kid. you’re free to look it up if you want to.”
jeongguk scratches at the back of his head, ruffling his hair as he looks over his shoulder towards the entering to the beach. he just wanted to photograph the black sand, and this was the closest beach to him he could find.
“i know some other black sanded beaches around here. i can take you there if you want to photograph there, it’s a really beautiful place.”
it’s tempting, jeongguk will admit to that. and when he looks at yoongi and sighs, entering the car, he blames it on the sun shining hot on his covered back and his desire to be seated in a car with air conditioning again.
“i’m sorry if—” jeongguk starts, but yoongi interrupts him by turning the engine on again and closing the window by the passenger side as the aircon starts blowing cold wind on his face.
“if you’re about to apologize to me for being a bother, like you keep insisting you’re being, i’ve been alone on this island for almost a whole month without saying a single word in korean to another person. in any case, you’re the one doing me a favour.” yoongi’s words are firm as he starts driving again, both hands on the wheel as he focuses on the road. jeongguk stays quiet, shoving his camera inside his bag placed on the floor. “now that that’s out of the way, have you had lunch yet?”
jeongguk looks out the window as he pulls the seatbelt on, watching as the view passes by the car. “uh, no, i just woke up like an hour ago.”
yoongi hums by his side, still mostly focused on the road ahead of them, sunglasses still clouding his eyes from jeongguk’s side view. “good, we’re gonna have that first them. you up for a little tour? i was gonna head to another city ‘round here today.” he turns to fully look at yoongi at this, staring at the side of his face until yoongi glanced at him for a second. “what?”
“if i had anything at all to do i surely wouldn’t be in your car right now, yoongi-ssi.” jeongguk’s tone is playful, and it must show going by yoongi’s laugh, his gums making an appearance again. it’s charming, jeongguk thinks. it makes him look younger than he is.
“great, you’re a brat. i’m glad we’re showing our true colours already.” it’s jeongguk’s time to chuckle, a small smile forming on his lips as he turns his head to the window again, intending to enjoy the view until they get wherever yoongi is driving them to. “also, for the love of god, drop the whole ssi thing. call me hyung or just yoongi, it’s fine too.”
this time, jeongguk smile’s wider, but he keeps it hidden by his shoulder, watching the mountains pass as the car drives by.
“if you say so, yoongi hyung.”
◇◆◇◆
it’s easy being around yoongi.
it’s easy to have lunch with him on that day as jeongguk talks about how he’s always scared he’ll drop his camera because he lost the goddamn lanyard, as he gushes about when he first started to enjoy photography while yoongi sits in front of him, chin propped on the palm of his hand with a small, gentle smile on his lips as he listens to what jeongguk has to say.
it’s easy when they walk around thera after lunch and yoongi’s the one who convinces jeongguk to get a new lanyard for his camera, who stops by jeongguk sides when he picks the camera now hanging from his neck so he can snap pictures of small alleyway shops they find as they walk through the small, stone-made streets; photographs of tourists laughing with their family and friends, the walls of people’s residences and the colourful markets all around them as they explore the town while the sun is still up.
when they find a few people busking outside a small restaurant, melody filling the street as they pass and jeongguk waits for his time, leaving yoongi with his phone in hand, a smile on his face as he records jeongguk singing, the bucket hat he stole from yoongi placed on his head, keeping his eyes out of view.
it’s even easier when the sun is about to set and yoongi keeps his promise and drives them to a black sanded beach near there, and jeongguk gets all the pictures he wanted to take from the second he stepped at greece. when he drives jeongguk back to his airbnb again, burned cheeks from being too long on the sun and a filled stomach with local food he can never get enough of. when they say goodbye and jeongguk gives yoongi his number while he asks him in a small voice to text him if he wants to hang out again. it’s easy when yoongi drives off with a new contact on his phone and a warm growing spot inside his chest for the kid with the bunny teeth and galaxy in his eyes.
and it’s still easy, even after that. easy when yoongi texts jeongguk and promises to show him more around the island, easy when they visit new beaches and small villages and museums of ruins that make jeongguk buy a new memory card on their second day going out as he fills the one he brought with pictures of turquoise coloured waters and pearly white walls.
and with yoongi, too.
pictures of the older man taking his own pictures with his phone, his back to jeongguk as he steps closer to the water to get a clearer view, a shadow of his body the only thing visible against the setting orange sun. pictures of him as they walk around isolated areas and crowded places, while they have lunch and yoongi is in the middle of a laugh, the way his eyes crinkle and his gums show forever memorized on jeongguk’s camera — and memory.
it’s easy being around yoongi, and it’s even easier to fall in love with him.
to fall in love with the way he smiles with his whole face, the way he speaks like he means every word he’s saying, the way he walks with his shoulders hunched but still manages to make jeongguk look at him with wonder in his eyes. it’s easy because yoongi makes jeongguk feel warm and heard in a way he hadn't felt in so long that he can’t help but latch onto him. to take pictures of him to keep it in his memory because when jeongguk stepped into the plane all he wanted was to escape from seoul and school and his parents and this was the only way he found how to.
and now.
now he doesn’t want to go back to his real life again, not when yoongi looks at him with something akin to adoration in his eyes, not when jeongguk can feel the same look reflecting on his own.
but he can’t stay. and it doesn’t take long for him to be reminded of that.
it’s late when they go back to jeongguk’s airbnb, the sun long gone by the time they reach the place jeongguk’s staying at. it’s quiet inside the car, the low tune coming from the radio yoongi turned on on their way there, a generic pop song quietly coming from the speakers, the only sound they can hear besides their own breathing and the far crash of the waves against the shore coming from the beach just down the road.
it doesn’t take long for yoongi to park in the street, the stairs that lead to the house jeongguk’s staying just by their side as yoongi turns the engine off.
the music gets cut off and the crash of the waves on the shore is louder now as jeongguk stays seated, head tipped back against the car’s headrest. his body is aching from walking around and he has sunburns on his cheeks and neck from staying under the summer sun all day long, but his memory card is full and jeongguk doesn’t remember being this satisfied with how he spends his days in actual years.
it’s quiet inside the car for a few moments and jeongguk knows he should gather his things and say goodbye to yoongi, a promise to see him the next day again on the tip of his lips like every other night since he got there but jeongguk stays seated. he sits there, fingers mindlessly playing with the seatbelt still crossing his waist and chest, mind scrambling for something to say as his body refuses to leave.
“you okay, kid?” yoongi’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts, fingers going slack on top of his thighs as he snaps his head to the side, blinking the tired haze out of his eyes.
“yeah, yeah, i’m good. just thinking.” he mumbles, voice low but still sounding loud inside the car. he hesitates before continuing, wondering if he shouldn’t just force himself out of the car and deal with his own thoughts alone. but then he glances back at yoongi and the man is staring at him with his eyebrows draw together, the beginning of a pout on his lips as he sits turned towards jeongguk, giving him all of his attention. he sighs, leaning his face against the glass as he stares at the stairs on the outside again. “kinda just wishing this day didn’t have to end, i guess? it’s really boring being all alone there and i haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”
he stays at that, shuts his mouth for the time and sighs again, going to grab the bag laying on the ground between his legs.
“you up for a walk on the beach? you still haven’t shown me this private beach of yours, you know. i don’t know how you got this place for such a cheap price with a view like this.” yoongi’s words get a chuckle out of jeongguk, who glances at him for a second before glancing at the stairs again. he listens to the waves for a second, and he can imagine the way they’re crashing against the shore as the moonlight shines silver over them, turning the midnight blue water a reflective mirror.
“sure, let’s go. i still haven’t gone there myself either.”
so they go. the clock on the car panel blinks the time back to him, the knowledge that it’s past midnight and he’s spent the whole day with yoongi weighing inside his mind like a rock, the fact that he only has three more days on this island but it had already given him so much more than he expected it to.
it takes them less than a minute to reach the beach, the dark beige sand looking even darker at night as they get out of the car, jeongguk choosing to leave his bag and camera inside the vehicle. he had taken all the pictures he wanted throughout the day and his fingers are numb from carrying it around for hours, back of the neck hurting from bearing the weight of the lanyard. he didn’t need to bring it with him this time.
not this time.
it’s a secluded beach, not too many people and tourists even with the sun out, but at this time, it’s completely empty apart from them. the sand looks almost black with the lack of light, the moon shining a silver glow upon the sea as they start walking among the shore, shoes in their hands and coats buttoned up to their necks to protect themselves from the cold wind coming from the ocean.
it’s silent as they walk, feet touching the warm sand as the lukewarm water baths their feet as they stroll by the shore. there’s a headache forming on the base of jeongguk’s skull when they finally find a place to sit down a bit further up from the water, not really wanting to get their clothes wet as they lay on the sand, bodies aching from going around the island all day.
“how are you liking the island so far?” yoongi’s the one to break the comforting silence after a moment. jeongguk can feel the warmth coming from his body from the way they’re lying down, yoongi’s arm barely a few inches away from his own. jeongguk chuckles, turns his head to the side so he can look at yoongi while he thinks of a suitable answer to give him.
“i’m glad i came. it’s different.” jeongguk says, looking back to the moon above them, observing the dark sky and its scattered stars.
“different?” it’s yoongi’s question, voice low as a wave crashes by their feet.
it takes jeongguk a few moments to answer, mind fogged by exhaustion as he forces his brain to work through the sleepiness slowly trying to take over him his mind.
“it’s different from seoul, i guess. i’ve been living there for so long that i think i’ve forgotten what it’s like to be near the sea or, like, somewhere you can breathe fresh air. even in busan, it was never really like this. so, yeah, different. a good different, but it’s still different.”
yoongi hums at that, and they drown in silence again after, only the crash of the waves surrounding them as they stare up at the sky.
“do you like stars, jeongguk?” yoongi’s question comes out of nowhere but jeongguk doesn’t mind, keeps looking up, now trying to count how many stars are visible against the blackness of the sky above them.
“they’re pretty.” he answers quietly, voice drowned out by a wave crashing by their feet, still trying to figure out how many stars he can find before he gets lost. “you can’t really see them from seoul so i guess i never paid a lot of attention to them.”
it’s quiet for a few seconds before yoongi speaks up again. “i’ve always been obsessed with them in some kind of way, since i was a kid.” his voice is soft, and jeongguk turns his head so he can look at him. the other is still staring up, a soft, nostalgic smile adorning his lips. it makes jeongguk smile, too. “i even took a small astronomy course before starting my major, actually.”
jeongguk hums slowly, still looking at yoongi, waiting to see if he’s going to keep talking. “have you ever heard of the word apotelesma ?” yoongi asks with a smile, turning his head to the side so he can stare back at jeongguk as the younger frowns slightly.
“apo what?” it makes yoongi laughs, eyes crinkling on the side as his smile grows bigger, body shaking as he laughs. “seriously, what the fuck did you just say.”
“ apotelesma. it’s latin. it basically means ‘the influence stars have over human destiny’ or something around that, i can’t remember its exact meaning.” yoongi smiles as he talks, gums showing as his eyes shine in the dark.
jeongguk smiles back, a hint of his teeth appearing between his lips. “do you believe that, hyung?” he asks, voice shy as he looks down to their feet where the waves can’t reach. “that the stars have influence on our lives?”
yoongi is quiet for a moment, blinking slowly as he seems to be thinking, eyes vague as jeongguk waits for him to figure out his own thoughts.
“i don’t don’t believe, i guess.” it’s what he answers in the end, eyes focusing back on jeongguk as his expression turns serious. “i like to think we have a say on what we do with our lives. it gives me a sense of control, in some weird way.”
quietness downs on them again after that, but it isn’t long before its cut short once more. “do you? believe in it?” it’s yoongi’s question, and jeongguk sighs, turning his head back to stare at the sky. he couldn’t count the stars, but he can admire them regardless. he missed them.
“i don’t know, hyung.” it comes out as another sigh, and jeongguk glances at the moon and its silver glow, brightening up everything around them just enough. yoongi doesn’t answer but jeongguk can still feel him still looking at him, the side of his face burning as the other stares at it. eventually, jeongguk turns to stare back. “regardless of it, being because of the stars or not, i’m glad i came here.”
jeongguk smiles, heat burning in his cheeks as they grow red as yoongi smiles back at him.
“i’m glad you’re here, too.” it’s the answer he gets, whispered in the air between them as they stare at each other.
jeongguk remembers having a panic attack the second he booked the tickets to come to the island. he remembers sitting in his bed while his roommate was out and crying his lungs out because he couldn’t breathe. remembers the way he felt like his heart was going to jump right through his flesh and break out of his ribcage at any moment, remembers how his chest hurt till the next day from how hard he was trying to breathe .
he remembers being terrified of the consequences of what he had done, and what would happen to him when it was all over but he still went. he still dropped out of his university major the next day, suitcases ready for the trip at the next evening, a note for his roommate on the door to his room. he got on that plane and he didn’t look back, and right now, right here, he couldn’t find it in himself to regret any of it, even if the panic of what will happen when this trip ends still haunts him when he’s about to sleep.
but yoongi’s looking at him so gently, with so much kindness in his eyes that jeongguk can’t bring himself to think about what will happen when this is over. he can only stare back, baking under yoongi’s gaze that makes his stomach feel tight and his chest warm. and when he glances down to yoongi’s lips, he wonders. allows his mind to travel freely for the first time, and he just wonders.
wonders if he can kiss him, and if yoongi would kiss him back, too.
it’s just sad that all good things never really do last.
jeongguk almost jumps out of his skin when his phone starts vibrating in his pocket, jerking his arm so hard it hits yoongi in his stomach.
“shit, i’m sorry.” he apologizes when he hears yoongi groan, taking his phone out of his pocket as he hushes to get up from the ground, sand falling from his jeans. the word mom is flashing on his phone screen and he has half a thought of throwing the device on the ocean right in front of him before he ignores it as he takes a few steps away from yoongi, still muttering apologies under his breath. “just give me a second.”
the call is a ring away from going to the voicemail when jeongguk answers, dragging a hand through his hair as he brings the phone to his ear, a sigh stuck in his throat. “hi mo—”
“care to explain to me why we just got a letter from your university saying you withdrew from there a week ago?” technically, jeongguk knew it was coming. his parents were still the ones paying for his tuition, and his student advisor warned him that they’re obliqued to send the payers a letter but he just thought he had more time.
“look, i was going to tel—” he tries, knowing yoongi can probably still hear him from where he’s still sitting at the sand, going by the way jeongguk can feel his eyes on the back of his neck.
“cut the bullshit, jeongguk, what the hell is this?” jeongguk winces at the words. he can feel his mom’s anger through the line and he wishes he had gone straight back to his airbnb instead of humiliating himself in front of yoongi and his mom. “don’t give me the ‘i was going to tell you’ shit, we have been putting millions of won on your education for years and you’re throwing it down the drain?”
“it’s not like that, mom, i’m not trying to be ungrateful.” he mumbles, throat closing up as he tries to think this through with a straight head. “you know that i’m not, it’s just— i just— it wasn’t for me , i couldn’t keep doing something i didn’t like. i was just wasting yours and dad’s money.”
he knows it’s coming before his mom even starts talking again. “we’ve had this talk for years, jeongguk. you’re the next heir to the firm, you have to have a law degree if you ever want to be the ceo to your father’s company and—”
“but that’s the thing, i don’t want it, mom. i’ve been telling both of you this for years, i don’t want the company, i don’t want to ever have anything with it. i tried, mom, i promised you and dad i’d try and i did. but it’s been three years and i still hated it, i’m sorry.” it’s the truth. it’s what he’s been telling his parents for years, ever since he barely started high school but it’s like talking to a wall; it’s always about what they want. what they think it’s best for him, what they want for his future, what they want him to become. it’s never been about what jeongguk wanted for himself.
so he made it about himself for once in his goddamn life.
his mother is silent for a few seconds before she begins speaking again. “you’re coming back home and we’re going to discuss this when you get here.”
this is the part he was dreading the most about talking to his parents, but he can’t exactly lie about this one. “i’m not in seoul at the moment, mom.” it’s mumbled, barely louder than a whisper as jeongguk starts pacing in the sand, his back still turned to yoongi.
“what do you mean you’re not in seoul, jeongguk, where the hell can you possibly be? stop with these stupid lies and come back home, today, i want you here as soon as the next train leaves.”
“i’ll talk to you guys when i’m back in the country, ok? i’m sorry. i love you. we’ll talk later.” it’s the last thing he says before ending the call, but he still gets the beginning of his mother question about him being in the country .
jeongguk sighs. the headache has now grown into a migraine and his head feels like it’s about to explode, stomach starting to hurt as he feels like he’s either about to start crying or throwing up. he feels like if he starts walking his knees will give up on him but he still forces himself to turn around, head hanging low so he doesn’t have to stare at yoongi.
the other is on his feet now, closer to jeongguk than he initially thought he was, hands shoved inside the pockets of his jacket as his toes play with the sand under his feet.
it’s quiet between them for a moment, but jeongguk still keeps his head down as he turns off his phone before his mom can start blowing up it up with calls and texts.
“i know it’s not really my place to ask, but...” yoongi starts as jeongguk lifts his head so he can look at him, hand holding his phone against his chest like he’d do with his camera. “why didn’t you tell me you dropped out?”
it’s quiet for a second. jeongguk can’t force his vocal cords to work and his hands are turning white from holding the phone so tightly. he shrugs, after a few seconds, eyes focused on the sand by his feet as another wave washes over it. “didn’t think it mattered.”
“it didn’t.” yoongi says, taking a tentative step closer to jeongguk, going for another one when the boy doesn’t shy away from him, arms hugging his own waist as his shoulders hunch forward. “it doesn’t matter, i’m just wondering why you haven’t mentioned it in the last week considering i’ve asked you about your major.”
jeongguk knows what yoongi means, he does . he knows he could have mentioned it in passing and the other wouldn’t put a second thought into it but his mother's words are still burning inside his brain like wildfire and his head hurts and there’s little black dots on the edge of his vision and he’s so, so tired. “what, you expected me to just say it like it’s nothing? ‘hey, i know we basically just met, but i’m actually only here because i impulsively withdrew from the university my parents pay for me and spent all the money i had saved up to come here’. is that what you wanted me to say to you?”
yoongi sighs. takes his hands out of his pockets as he takes another step closer to jeongguk. “that’s not what i mean—”
“then what do you mean, hyung? we’ve known each other for barely a whole week. i can’t just unload my shitty life choices on you just because i feel like it.” the words just keep pouring out of his mouth as he tries to regulate his breathing but the air feels stuck on his windpipe, refusing to flow down to his lungs and give him the oxygen he so badly needs.
“hey, jeongguk, look at me.” yoongi asks, voice soft as he takes the last step so he can stand in front of jeongguk, hands cautiously placed on jeongguk’s arms still tight around his own waist. it takes a few moments but eventually jeongguk looks back at him, blinking away a few tears clouding his visions. “good. that’s good, thank you.” his voice is gentle as he gently pulls jeongguk’s arms from the vice grip on his waist, hands careful on his arms, waiting until jeongguk’s eyes completely focus on him. “hey, kid.”
it makes jeongguk chuckle, the way he says it. the same way he’s been hearing those same words for the past seven days, says it in the same way that makes jeongguk smile every single time because it sounds so gentle. so warm . so something that jeongguk haven’t had in so long that he can’t help but laugh because it’s just so yoongi .
“hey yourself.” he replies, voice slightly hoarse as he sniffles, wiping a tear off his face as he sighs. “i’m sorry, that was out of line.”
“don’t worry about it.” yoongi says, smiling gently at jeongguk as he starts pulling his arms from around the boy’s waist. “let’s walk back to the car, yeah? we can talk a bit.”
so they do. they pick their sneakers off the sand, try to clean their clothes from the grains as best as they can before heading back the way they came. jeongguk’s head is pounding and he’s still a bit nauseated, but the black dots have receded and the waves keep washing their feet as they walk. he can smell the ocean better now. it helps him to breathe, to take a minute to calm down, before yoongi starts speaking.
“i’ve never told you what i actually work with, have i?” yoongi asks, voice getting slightly blown over by the wind hitting them as they walk, the heat from the day slowly melting away. jeongguk hums a low no , not bothering on voicing a reply as the other keeps going. “i also have a funny story on why i’m here, you know.”
jeongguk smiles a bit, the corners of his lips lifting up a bit. “i’m listening.”
yoongi chuckles, shoving his free hand inside his jacket pocket as they walk along the shore on their way back to yoongi’s car. “my boss threatened me to go on a vacation.”
jeongguk frowns, brows creasing as he turns to stare at yoongi. “what?”
the way he says it makes yoongi laughs, a small laugh covered by the sound of crashing waves. “it’s a long story, but being creative director of a big magazine isn’t as fun as it sounds, i can promise you that.” yoongi says, shrugging his shoulders as jeongguk just keeps staring at him, mouth slightly open as he barely pays attention to where he’s walking. “oh, don’t look at me like that, it’s literally nothing.”
“nothing? you’re a magazine’s creative director and you want to tell me it’s nothing? ” jeongguk asks, shock clear in his voice as the other rolls his eyes. “next thing you’re telling me is that you work for what, vogue? some worldwide shit like that?” it’s not really obvious, but jeongguk is paying attention to him. he can see the exact moment where yoongi’s lips twitch, a barely contained smile forming on his face. “holy fuck , it is! you told me you worked with photography! what the fuck, hyung!”
“oh, don’t give me that, it’s not like i’m famous or some shit like that.” yoongi complains, voice still playful as they get near the place where the car is parked. “besides, i didn’t lie to you about that. i do work with photography, i do have a degree in it and i do some photoshoots for the magazine sometimes.” he adds.
“ still. ” jeongguk mumbles, blinking rapidly as he tries to process the information he just heard. “i still don’t get how you ended up here.”
“ah, yes. that. ” yoongi says, faking a chill that makes jeongguk smile. “i have a bit of a, uh— problem? with work. i guess one could say i don’t know when to take a break, i guess. short story, business meetings are annoying and i might have snapped a bit because of stress and lost a big contract we could’ve gotten if i just stayed in my lane. seokjin, that’s my boss by the way, he basically coerced me into taking a few weeks off or said he’d fire me.”
“would he? fire you?” jeongguk asks, voice shy as they finally reach the car.
yoongi huffs but it’s an amused sound, a smile playing on his lips. “nah, he’s all bark and no bite. he was just looking out for me, which is why i accepted it. i know he would’ve never fired me but i figured i owned him a little peace of mind knowing i wasn’t staying up all night in my office for an entire week.”
“you guys seem close.” he comments as yoongi hums, agreeing with him as he unlocks the car.
“we are. we were friends before both of us started working with vogue so, i guess we have some history. he’s a great friend, and a good person.” yoongi says, a smile still playing on his lips as he talks about seokjin.
“wait, if you work with vogue, how have i never heard about you? my old roommate works as a part time model and he has done some modelling works for vogue so i think i would’ve heard about you?” jeongguk asks as yoongi turns the engine on, slowly starting to drive back to jeongguk’s airbnb.
“right. forgot about that. uh, i don’t work for korea’s vogue, i work for the british vogue. i actually haven’t been in seoul for the past, i don’t know, four years or so. i live in london for now.” the other says, eyes glued to the road, the only thing illuminating the way ahead of them being the highlights of the car.
something shrinks inside jeongguk’s chest, when he hears it. a flame of something hopeful that he refused to admit it was there since the start, a spark of a maybe that haunted his thoughts before he fell asleep at night. it hurts when yoongi talks, but he keeps it up. he smiles at the other, asks him to tell him more about his work. about how is it like living in london. what is it like being a creative director to one of the most famous magazines in the entire world.
and yoongi tells him, but sooner rather than later they reach his airbnb again and it’s time to say goodbye once more. at least until the next morning.
before jeongguk can leave the car, he feels a weight on his arm, hand halfway into opening the car door. “do you have something planned for tomorrow?” it’s asked in a low, shy voice, and jeongguk creases his brows, turning to yoongi.
“well, no? you know i don’t usually have plans, i just follow along with yours.” jeongguk looks down at his arm, yoongi’s hand around almost his entire forearm. his hands are warm, he realizes.
“you up for going out of our usual schedule, then? there’s something i wanted to do since i first got here but i haven’t had the chance yet.” he asks, voice loud in the quietness of the car.
“what is it?” jeongguk asks, pulling his bag so it can stay on his lap as he waits for yoongi’s reply.
“you’ll find out tomorrow.” yoongi presses, smiling softly at jeongguk as he pulls his hand back from jeongguk’s arm, placing both of them in his own lap. “i’ll pick you up tomorrow around 10am, yeah? be ready.”
jeongguk thinks about pressing, but he’s tired and it’s past 1am by now, so he doesn’t.
“i’ll see you tomorrow, then.” he mumbles before pushing the door open, throwing his backpack under his shoulder, fixing the strap as he steps outside.
“goodnight, kid. sleep well.” the other replies and jeongguk nods, closing the door behind him and starting to walk towards the stairs. “and jeongguk?” he turns when yoongi calls, shivering slightly from the cold wind hitting his body. “you’re really brave for what you did. i hope you know that.”
jeongguk smiles. it’s a sad, small thing that barely makes the corner of his lips twitch but he still tries. “goodnight, hyung.” and then he turns to the stairs, and doesn’t look back.
he gets inside his airbnb and takes a shower. downs painkillers with the hope of making his migraine go away and then he lays in bed, awake. and when he finally falls asleep, it’s to the sound of the waves outside and his mother’s voice clashing with yoongi’s inside his head.
◇◆◇◆
jeongguk stands frozen on the harbor, staring at the boat in front of him like it’s a ghost. yoongi’s by his side, phone in hand as he scrolls through the device, completely oblivious to jeongguk’s reaction. there’s ten, maybe a few more people around them, waiting for the signal of one of the staff that will allow them to enter the boat.
“when you said you wanted to try something out, i didn’t expect... this.” jeongguk says, a tight grip on the strap of his backpack, body still frozen as he can’t take his eyes off the black and white boat floating on the water. the chatter around him feels surreal.
yoongi looks up, confused for a second before his eyes focus on jeongguk’s expression and he laughs, throwing his head back, gums making an appearance once more. “you look like i just killed someone, c’mon, don’t be like that. it’s just a boat ride, and besides, it’ll get you perfect views and shots of the sunset.”
jeongguk finally manages to drag his eyes off of the boat, turning his head to the side so he can stare back at yoongi who’s looking at him with a smile on his lips. “do i wanna know how much this whole thing was?”
“huh.” yoongi mumbles, pocketing his phone as the staff starts letting people board the boat. “probably not. c’mon, let’s go.”
yoongi takes off, leaving jeongguk behind to follow him with wide eyes and a lost feeling growing inside his chest. but he follows yoongi regardless, hands tight around the straps of his bag and a nauseating feeling in his stomach.
the boat looks like something out of the movies jeongguk used to watch as a kid. the staff showed them the room they are going to stay during the small trip, and if the space wasn’t so small and cramped jeongguk would’ve fallen right on his ass. the room is small, and it’s clear to jeongguk it’s there as just a formality. there’s a king sized bed taking up most of its space, white sheets with coloured patterned cushions on top of the mattress.
there’s another room right in front of it, with a smaller bedroom and a bathroom combined. the staff leaves them alone after showing them the room and when they disappear up the stairs, jeongguk turns to yoongi, sitting in the king sized bed with a shy smile on his face.
“before you say anything, it’s a five hour cruise with stops on places that we can swim and all of that shit. the only reason we have the bedroom is because i remembered you said you get sea sickness sometimes so i wanted you to have a place to rest just in case.” he explains, drumming his fingers in the sheets in an anxious manner as he waits for jeongguk to answer.
jeongguk sighs. throws his backpack on the bed and sits besides yoongi before letting himself fall backwards, body bouncing on the mattress. “if i throw up on myself, i’m making you buy me new clothes. and a new camera.”
yoongi laughs on his side, patting jeongguk’s thigh lightly as he gets up. “sure, kid. c’mon, let’s get something to eat.” and then he leaves; gets up from the bed and exits the small room, walking up the stairs as jeongguk lays on the bed, staring at the low, white ceiling above him.
in the end, jeongguk doesn’t actually get sick. he has lunch with yoongi the same way they have done for the past week except this time they’re on a boat taking them to their first stop for the afternoon. they eat and drink wine after yoongi spends half an hour convincing jeongguk to drink with him, and they have fun . jeongguk puts his feet in the water of the hot springs. they see the red sand beach from afar, they watch as some of the passengers around them swim in the clean blue waters they’re sailing in.
it’s almost sunset time when both of them sit in one of the more private lounge areas, a small wooden table in front of them as they sit on the beige L shaped sofa, a glass of wine in each of their hands. it’s getting colder as the sun starts to get low in the skyline, the wind coming from the sea making goosebumps appear in his arms. most people are sitting on the outside, ready for when the boat stops in the middle of the ocean so they can watch as the sun goes down from a prestigious place.
there’s music playing on the background as everyone chatters around them, staff going around offering drinks and food service. he has his camera on his lap, ready to take its shots as soon as the boat comes to a stop. he’s mindlessly playing with the lanyard, wrapping it around his fingers as he looks at yoongi through the glass from the window the lounge has, giving them a full view of the sun just starting to set.
“how are you liking it so far?” yoongi asks, voice muffled by the sound all around them. if jeongguk focuses, he can hear the waves crashing against the boat as the ocean keeps flowing around them.
“well, i haven’t thrown up yet.” he says, watching as yoongi laughs, cup trembling slightly in his hand as his body shakes. “this is nice. i think we needed this after so much walking and driving around, i guess. thank you. i don’t know how to repay you for this.”
yoongi shakes his head, getting more comfortable on the sofa as crosses his legs and passes the glass to his other hand. “this isn’t a repaying thing, i invited you because i wanted company and because i knew you’d enjoy it. consider it a late birthday present, yes?”
jeongguk smiles, a soft thing, eyes shining as the light hits them. shifts the camera in his hands, placing it on the sofa right beside his legs so he can move more freely. “my birthday was more than a month ago, hyung.”
he feels something poking his calf and laughs, knowing yoongi’s telling him to just shut up and accept it, so he does. they stay silent for a while after that, but yoongi eventually sighs, slightly jerking the wine inside the glass as he moves to put it on the table in front of them. “can i ask you something?”
“you just did.” jeongguk replies, a smirk on his face as yoongi keeps staring at him with a straight face until jeongguk breaks. “you’re no fun. sure, ask away.”
“what are you going to do when you go back home?” his voice is serious, no hint of a joke on his tone. jeongguk sits up straighter, also placing his wine glass on the table as he sighs, slumping right back on the couch. “you don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable, i hope you know that.”
“‘s fine.” he mumbles, throwing his head back and staring as the sunlight comes through the glass. “i don’t know. i’m not going back to my old uni, that’s for sure. but my parents will probably manage to manipulate me with money to either stay there or start again somewhere else because that’s what they always do.”
yoongi stays quiet for a few moments, and jeongguk lets him. “do you think you could pursue photography?” he asks, voice still serious and quiet.
jeongguk laughs but it’s humorless, a dry sound that comes from his throat that sounds closely to a scoff. “my parents would never let me.”
“i’m not asking about your parents, i’m asking about you.” that makes jeongguk turns to look at yoongi again only to find the other already staring at him, a serious look on his eyes. “do you?”
they stay staring at each other until jeongguk gives up, breaking the eye contact and going back to staring at the ceiling, watching as the sunlight keeps getting lower and lower on the wall ahead of them. “yeah, hyung, i would.”
yoongi takes a while to answer but jeongguk doesn’t mind, the reminder that this will all come to an end sooner than later and he’ll have to deal with all the consequences of what he’s done filling up his veins with fear.
“can i send the pictures you took throughout this week to my boss?” it’s asked in a quiet voice, like yoongi’s scared of saying it louder. “i want to get you a job where i work.”
his head snaps to the side, a frown marking his features as he looks at yoongi with his lips downturned. “i’m not a charity case, yoongi, thank you very much.”
yoongi’s shaking his head before jeongguk even finishes speaking, changing position on the couch so he can stare directly at jeongguk, hands flailing around. “no, shit, that wasn’t my point. i know you’re not, i never meant to imply that.” he explains and jeongguk waits, annoyance burning inside his chest. “i just— i’ve seen your pictures, jeongguk. you’re talented. and you gave up everything you had to come here and do this, and you’re so, so passionate about everything you do. this is all i always ask from my team back home. i know you’re not a charity case, and i’m not treating you like one, but i like you. i like you so much, and i just want to help you.”
“i’m not a professional, yoongi, and you know that. god, i didn’t even realize my lenses were fucked up the first day we met.” jeongguk replies, ignoring the way his heart twists at yoongi’s words. “besides, you live in london , yoongi. for the british vogue . my english is barely passable and i don’t have the money to move halfway across the world, nevermind work for one of the biggest magazines in the entire world.” he adds, reaching for his wine glass and downing what was left of it, bringing a bit of relief to his dry throat.
he starts to get up, pushing himself off the couch as yoongi sighs, placing a hand on his arm. “jeongguk, c’mon. sit down. please?” jeongguk closes his eyes. sighs. stares at the wall in front of him, watches as the sunlight is turning orange. knows that if he turns around he would be able to see the sun starting to fall into the sky line. so he sits. turns to yoongi and waits. “just... just think about it? please? you’re already so talented, kid, and you deserve a chance at something you love. with the right training you can get so much better, guk. let me give you this. just think about it, ok? and don’t use that as an excuse, i could see how badly you were shaking that day from where i was sitting. you were nervous. it happens to everyone.”
jeongguk stares at him for a few seconds. just stares at yoongi’s cat-like shaped eyes, his button nose that makes jeongguk feels like kissing it every time he sees it. and he remembers how much he hated himself for staying on his major for almost four years, he remembers how waking up each day was like a sentence to hell. he remembers the empty feeling inside his chest every time he came back to his empty apartment.
“ok.” he mutters, barely loud enough for the other to hear him. but he does, because yoongi smiles at him, his gums on show, and jeongguk feels like kissing him until he forgets what it's like to breathe. "i'll think about it."
"thank you." yoongi says, voice as genuine as it gets as he relaxes in his seat, slumping a little in the couch. neither of them says anything after that, listening to the quiet chatter near them and the music still playing from the speakers around the boat. jeongguk keeps staring at yoongi as the other picks up his own glass of wine, sipping a bit of it and placing it back where it was before.
“so...” he starts, drumming his fingers on his jeans cladded legs, staring at yoongi’s profile. “you like me, huh?”
that makes yoongi look back at him, the beginning of a smile forming on his lips. “you’re joking, right?” he asks, voice carefree of all the seriousness it previously held. “you’re not that oblivious and i’m not that subtle.”
jeongguk laughs, looking down at his thighs as he finally leans against the couch again, body finally starting to relax again. “you’re not. i just didn’t expect you to actually say it.” he replies, glancing at yoongi through his fringe only to find the other already looking at him. he smiles shyly at him, heat burning in his cheeks.
yoongi creases his brow, leaning on the palm of his hand as his arm rests on the couch. “why, do i look like i’m awful at talking about my feelings?” he jokes. laughs when jeongguk just stares at him, lips pressed together. “you’re right, i am. it just slipped and well, if it gets you to smile like that i don’t really mind.”
“god, and here i was thinking i was going to throw up because of the boat.” jeongguk says, making both of them laugh as he copies yoongi, leaning against his palm as he stares at the older man. “i feel like a twelve year old who just found out their crush likes them back.”
the other smiles, reaching with a hand to take a strand of jeongguk’s hair out of his face. “you do kinda look like one with those teeth so i guess you’re good.” jeongguk pushes yoongi, almost sending him right out of the couch as the other laughs at his own joke.
“you’re impossible.” jeongguk mumbles, fixing the camera by his side that almost fell along with yoongi, taking it further away from the edge of the couch. “that might be why i like you so much.”
“yeah?” yoongi smiles, going back to his previous position, only this time he’s sitting slightly closer to jeongguk.
“yeah.” jeongguk agrees, smiling right back at him.
yoongi chuckles, breaking the eye contact so he can look at his side, right outside the glass to the ocean around them. “you’re going to miss your sunset.”
“i can see the sun setting every day.” he stops it at that, but the rest of what he’s implying is obvious going by the way yoongi snorts, looking at jeongguk again.
“you’re really shameless for calling me cheesy for what i said.”yoongi complains. jeongguk smiles, fingers pulling a loose thread of his jeans, thinking his next words through. the nagging thought that he’s leaving in a day and a half won’t leave his mind, but now yoongi’s words are swimming through his thoughts, and jeongguk doesn’t really have nothing else to lose.
“hyung,” he calls, voice small as the boat comes to a stop, but yoongi keeps looking at him, waiting for him to keep going. “can you kiss me?”
yoongi doesn’t reply. instead, he moves closer to jeongguk, placing a hand on the boy’s cheek, pressing harder when he leans into it, still staring at the other.
and yoongi kisses him. holds his cheek and leans in until their mouths meet, lips tasting like the wine they had. yoongi tastes like red wine and chapped lips from bitten skin and a kind of freedom jeongguk haven’t felt in years. the hand on his cheek feels warm on the side, while the sunlight hitting the other side of his face feels just the same.
the elder pulls back, after a moment. “you’re really going to miss your sunset.” he says, eyes still closed, forehead leaning against jeongguk’s, hand still on his cheek. jeongguk mumbles something he himself barely understands, trying to lean in again just for yoongi to pull back once more. “i paid almost 200 euros on this kid, if you don’t get your ass up and go take some pictures i’ll throw that thing of yours in the water.”
jeongguk laughs, finally pulling back from him and picking his camera up from where it still was between them, placing the lanyard around his neck as he got up, leaving yoongi behind as he heads for where everyone else is, finger positioned on the shutter, just waiting for the right time.
when jeongguk presses the button that day, is with yoongi right behind him, a barely there hand on his hip bones and something inside his chest that he didn’t know he was allowed to feel anymore.
◇◆◇◆
somehow, jeongguk’s remaining days pass faster than the week had, and before he knows, he’s standing in front of his gate at the airport, passport in hand, bag thrown over his shoulder with yoongi by his side.
something inside him feels a little empty, even if he’s still there, with yoongi by his side and a memory card full of memories he’ll never forget.
he turns to yoongi, one hand holding the strap of his bag so tightly his knuckles are slowly turning white. he slowly takes his other hand out of his pocket, a usb drive being held between his fingers as he hands it to yoongi. “that’s everything i took since the moment i got here. i hope it’s worth something.” he mumbles, shrugging as yoongi takes the drive from him, shoving his hand inside his pocket again. “they’re not amazing, but there’s a few good ones there, i guess.”
yoongi smiles at him, lips stretching wild as he pockets the drive inside his jeans. “they’re worth more than you think, guk. i’ll send them to seokjin when i get back to my hotel. thank you.”
jeongguk shrugs again, sighing. “you have my phone number if you need it, yeah?” yoongi nods, a female voice announcing jeongguk’s flight number on the speakers. he looks at jeongguk for a few seconds before taking a step towards him, pulling him into a hug.
he hugs him back, probably harder than he should, but the scared and hopeless feeling inside his chest feels amplified as the time to go looms over his head. jeongguk’s a good few centimeters taller than yoongi but he’s hiding his face on the elder’s neck, trying his best to memorize everything he can before he steps on that plane.
yoongi’s still staying on the island for another week, and it only makes the gap in jeongguk’s chest seem bigger when the other mumbles against his hair, a hand caressing his strands. “i already miss you.”
jeongguk sniffles, taking a deep breath and blinking a few tears away from his eyes, waiting for him to get inside the plane so he can cry about everything he’ll have to deal when he lands in seoul and how he doesn’t know when he’s seeing yoongi again.
if he’s ever seeing him again.
“thank you for this week. and for everything you’re doing for me.” jeongguk whispers against yoongi’s shoulder before letting him go, taking a deep breath as he takes a step back. his flight number is announced again on the speakers, and jeongguk knows he can’t drag this any longer. they both do.
“i’ll see you soon, ok?” yoongi utters, caressing jeongguk’s cheek as he smiles sadly at him. “take care of yourself.”
“don’t go on another boat trip without me, yeah?” jeongguk jokes, making both of them laugh as a tear escapes from his eyes, running down his cheek and meeting yoongi’s hands as the elder wipes it away.
“i won’t, kid, don’t worry. nothing will ever beat your horrified face when the boat started sailing.” jeongguk punches yoongi’s arm lightly, sniffing as he takes a step back. “what, i don’t get a goodbye kiss?”
jeongguk smiles a bit, shaking his head lightly. “kiss me hello when you see me next, yeah?” yoongi scoffs, making jeongguk smiles brighter as he takes another step back, mumbling something about it being a promise. “i’ll see you next time, yoongi-ssi. take care.”
“hey, guk.” yoongi calls before he can turn, and jeongguk waits for him to speak. “don’t let your parents dictate your life. you’re allowed to want what you want for yourself, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, ok?”
god , he’ll really start crying again. “i’ll try.”
“have a safe flight, kid.” yoongi says, watching as jeongguk waves at him, fixing his bag on his shoulder as he starts walking towards the entrance of his gate. “you cheesy ass fucker.”
jeongguk’s smiling when the plane takes flight, the dread on his stomach controlled for the time being, a warm feeling inside his chest, yoongi’s promise ringing inside his mind as he takes his seat.
he takes his camera out of his bag, running his fingers through the lanyard he bought, thinking about the way yoongi insisted on him buying it when they saw it.
he puts it around his neck, brings the camera to his eyes. turns it to the open window by his side, white clouds against the orange colour the sky has taken as the sun sets appearing through the viewfinder.
when he presses the shutter, he hopes yoongi’s watching the sunset, too.