Chapter Text
More Than an Avenger
He woke with an aching head and blood in his mouth, and a body that was too-small, too-young, and too-strange. He could remember being a lot bigger, a lot older, could remember being so tired and achy that he could barely get up from his wheelchair. But, after a minute or two of just sitting there against the wall in his too-small-young-strange body, he could remember being Sasuke. And he could remember Aniki and Kaasan and Tousan and...
"Oh," he sighed, whispered, prayed, as he looked at the bodies of this body's parents, lying in the still slowly-spreading pool of their own blood. Distantly, the part of him that was purely Sasuke was devastated, denying it, weeping and crying and screaming, but that part was so very distant. The bigger part of him, the part that was him from Before, the newer him that had slowly strengthening memories of Shinobi and training and the real-life facts of this world was just sad at the loss of life, but not really... Connected to it.
Because the parts of him that were already combining with the parts of Sasuke that weren't lost (weren't already fading) remembered little snippets of conversation between Clanmates, remembered Aniki and Tousan and Kaasan all being grim and tired and cut-off conversations. Remembered glares and insults in the streets, sneers and suspicions just because of his Clan.
And he remembered Aniki's face before he'd turned those swirling, red-black eyes on him and told him to get strong and kill him. And that part that remembered, remembered that Aniki was crying.
Slowly, carefully, Sasuke (and he was Sasuke now, his previous name an already faded smudge in the back of his head, memories fading while thought-process and earned-experience stayed like notes written on his skin in knife-cuts and ink) carefully got to his feet (he was so small) and made his way over to the bodies on the ground. They had been quick deaths, deep cuts that his memories about anatomy told him severed both of the main arteries in his parents' throats.
They didn't suffer, he thought as he carefully sat next the bodies, mind feeling strangely foggy as the parts that were young Sasuke began to twist around in his head. They didn't suffer from it. Only from who did it to them.
Closing his eyes, Sasuke leaned against the bodies, utterly exhausted and head pounding as old and new memories curled and meshed and burned together in his head. Before he knew it, the fogginess of his mind covered his senses and, between one breath and the next, he was unconscious.
)()()()()()()(
He woke abruptly, blinking blearily, to someone touching his shoulder. Lifting his face from the long-gone cold side of his Kaasan, Sasuke blinked slowly up at the suddenly-still form of what he recognized as an ANBU. Their mask was a bird of some sort, from what he could tell.
Then, they were gone, between one blink and then next, before returning, this time with another ANBU who's mask looked like a cat of some sort. The feline ANBU knelt and slowly reached towards Sasuke, who blinked lethargically and didn't hesitate to reach back for them. Within moments, he was cradled to a distinctly female torso and, in a blur of motion, found himself in what looked like a hospital. That was all he could see before he was swarmed by worried doctors and nurses. Soon after that, he was bundled up in a bed, wrapped in blankets, and then there was an old man in a hat there, looking as tired and grim as Sasuke remembered being before he woke up as Sasuke.
"Sasuke-Kun," the old man greeted quietly, gently, a blond-haired, blue-eyed man on his left and a dark-haired, dark-eyed man with scars on his face to his right.
"Hokage-Sama," Sasuke managed after a moment of painful thought. His voice was soft and slightly-hoarse, and he felt like his face was stuck in a blank, numb state, but he managed to make his lips twitch up slightly, tiredly watching the three older men.
"Do you know what happened, Sasuke-Kun?" Hokage-Sama asked; Sasuke stared at him, closing his eyes slowly, before nodding slowly. "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it yet, Sasuke-Kun. We just want to know what happened, but there's no need to push yourself, alright?"
"I understand, Hokage-Sama," he replied softly. Keeping his eyes closed, Sasuke looked over his memories, and slowly pieced together what happened. "I... I stayed later after school to use the training grounds," he murmured quietly. "Aniki was going to pick me up, so we could train together. When, when he didn't come, I thought he got a mission. I was upset," he murmured softly. "Aniki always has missions or work or Tousan calls him away. Today was supposed to be just the two of us. I took the long way home, even though I knew Kaasan would be upset..." He paused and took a deep breath, lips thinning as the memories of reaching the compound, of this little boy coming come to find bodies and blood everywhere.
"The gate guards were gone," he whispered tightly. "I, I thought it was weird, because they got in trouble if they left their post. Last time, Tousan had them doing backlogged paperwork for a month. So, when they weren't there, I thought it was really weird. Then... Then I saw the bodies. All over the ground," he whispered hoarsely, mouth dry and lips feeling numb. "Even, even Miyuki-San and, and her new baby, Keita-Kun," he managed, throat tightening as he remembered the kind young woman and the tiny, bloody bundle that had been clasped to her chest. Sasuke's eyes were beginning to burn, burn like they did when Aniki looked at him with those red-black eyes.
"I, I got scared," Sasuke managed as the first tear slid down his face, eyes opening to stare down at his lap, hands clenched together there tight enough that his tiny knuckles were white. "I ran home as fast as I could, I, I was shouting for Kaasan and Tousan and Aniki..." He took a shaky breath, closing his eyes again and feeling his tiny shoulders bow, braced as if for a blow, and, in his mind, it was, because the memory of what little Sasuke had come home to was seared into his brain in perfect detail thanks to his Aniki's spinning, red-black stare.
"Tousan was dead," he whispered shakily. "And, and Aniki was, was holding his sword over Kaasan and, and he swung it down and Kaasan died," he choked out, tears falling faster. "And, a-and Aniki s-said that, that he was gonna kill me too," he choked out, shoulders shaking "He, he had the Mangekyo, a-and he, he used it on me." Vaguely, Sasuke noticed the grim, pale faces of the three men, the tightened hands of the Hokage, the ill-cast to the blonde's face, the sudden closed eyes of the scarred man. "He, he s-said that, that I was, was too weak to k-kill, and, and th-that I had to get stronger and, and that I had to hate him to do it... But," he whispered, looking up from his lap, face still numb-feeling, tears still falling. "But that was a lie," he choked out with a sob. "Aniki was lying, 'cause if, if that was true, he wouldn't have killed the babies." Sasuke hunched over, wretched sobs forced from his too-small body as he wrapped his arms around himself.
In a second, the Hokage's arms wrapped around him, pulling him against a chest that was far from soft despite the older man's obvious age, iron-hard muscles unsoftened by age-gentled skin. His heart beat clear and strong against Sasuke's ear as the now-young/too-young boy curled within the steel hold of his village's leader. Listening to it, feeling it against him, made the rapidly fading pieces of Sasuke feel soothed. The Hokage would know what to do, would keep him safe, would chase away the bad things that scared the little boy of just hours ago.
This Sasuke logically knew better, had over ninety vaguely remembered years of wisdom and experience to lean on.
But, in this instance, he was a seven-year-old boy who was too exhausted to stop himself from being rocked to sleep.
)()()()()()()(
Sasuke looked out over the empty Uchiha District, face still numb even now almost two weeks after the Massacre. Beside him, the Hokage stood silently, solemnly, smoking his pipe as the same bird and cat ANBU (Heron and Lynx, respectively) stood to either side of them.
",,,All of it is mine?" Sasuke asked quietly.
"Yes," the Hokage responded, equally as quiet. Slowly, Sasuke nodded, staring out over the empty District. There had been one hundred and seventy-four Uchiha before the Massacre, with another forty-seven Non-Uchiha families who lived in the District under their Patronage. There had been thirty-nine Jounin, twenty-four Tokubetsu Jounin, thirty-two Chunin, seventeen Genin, and twelve Academy Students, Sasuke included. Another ten had been slotted to join the Academy in the next semester while four of the original twelve were scheduled to graduate.
"I want the teammates of those Uchiha who were in squads to get their personal affects, if they want them," Sasuke told the Hokage quietly. "If not, then I want them informed that they are allowed to visit the Uchiha Memorial at any point to pay their respects, and are allowed in the District whenever they like. Any who are in need of housing are allowed to rent any of the apartments or houses they'd like, as well. Just let them know to talk to me about it."
"You do not need to do that, Sasuke-Kun," the Hokage told him; Sasuke just looked up at him solemnly.
"I'm not the only one who lost family that day, Hokage-Sama," the seven-year-old-but-not informed him seriously. "I will not refuse those who are mourning their chances to pay their respects. I am the only Uchiha here, now," he said quietly. "There is no reason for me to live only among ghosts... And it is too quiet, now," he added seriously, softly, turning his gaze back to the empty district. "This place needs life, Hokage-Sama. Otherwise it's just full of ghosts and memories." The Hokage was silently, the two of them just staring out at the District. A piece of paper blew across the empty street, the sound of its soft crinkling and scrapping loud in the aptly named dead space. Then, he set a gentle hand on Sasuke's head, stroking gently once before pulling away.
"I will let the teams and close friends of those fallen know, Sasuke-Kun," he said gently. "And I will have those businesses that were ran by Uchiha placed under your purview. You will not be expected to run them, as I have no doubt that they will have employees and workers who can take care of that but those few businesses that do not may require you to hire them. You will get a certain amount from each one, as well, as is expected of a business owner, but, until that can be done, do not worry about it." Sasuke nodded once, solemnly, memories of Before, now fuzzy but clear enough to still be of use, would no doubt help him with those. For now, however.
"Goodbye, Hokage-Sama," Sasuke told his Leader solemnly; the Hokage inclined his head.
"Lynx will escort you to your home, Sasuke-Kun," the Hokage told him calmly. "If you require anything, do not hesitate to seek an audience with me, understand? I am available to aide you whenever I can."
"Hai, Hokage-Sama," Sasuke murmured, before walking into the District without a look back. Lynx walked beside him, her steps utterly silent and presence only known because she walked within his peripheral. Walking down to too-quiet-too-empty streets was equally eerie and peaceful, in a way. His headaches were frequent since he woke in Sasuke's too-young body, memories twisting and churning, and the constant noise of the Village was sometimes suffocating, too much stimulus to his already too-full mind. But here, here where there was no one around to stare or whisper or try and console him, Sasuke found the silence a blessing and curse in turn.
The Main House was like skeleton, looming before him. It was just a house, a little too big but not nearly as over-done as some of the Elders homes were, if he remembered right (and he did). If he hadn't had Young Sasuke's memories, he wouldn't have thought it much different then any other home, but...
But.
"I will be moving to one of the apartments nearer the Gate, Lynx-San," Sasuke informed his guard seriously; she nodded her masked face without a word, and Sasuke stepped up the porch and pushed open the door gently. Stepping inside, the eerie silence was even clearer, cold and dead as its previous inhabitants now were. There was no smell of cooking or tea from Kaasan, no sound of blades being sharpened by Aniki, no papers being rustled or calligraphy being done by Tousan. The air wasn't filed with the tiny charge that spoke of movement in an enclosed space, no faint taste-smell-feel of heat or ashes that all Uchiha seemed to carry on them. There was a trace of fresh floor polish, but otherwise, it was just an empty house filled with dead space.
Just a skeletons ribcage, empty of its heart, he thought quietly as he walked slowly down the hall, the familiar hall turned alien with death. Pausing at the base of the steps that would take him to his room, Sasuke glanced over, morbidly curious, to where he so clearly remembered his parents' deaths.
"Ah," he murmured as he realized where the floor-polish scent was coming from. The floorboards had been replaced entirely, the whole room holding a dark mahogany floor, now, instead of the stained oak it had been. Sasuke... Appreciated the effort, he decided, feeling something like grateful fondness warm his too-numb chest as he stared at the new floors.
"Lynx-San," he murmured to the silent shadow at his side. "Can you tell whoever re-did the floors thank you for me? I appreciate the thought," he informed his guard.
"Hai," the ANBU said; Sasuke nodded his head, turned away from the new floors, and carried on his way up the stairs and down yet another familiar-strange hall. His steps hesitated only once, outside his Aniki's room, before carrying on steadily to his own. Once there, he gathered his clothes and Academy books, his practice weapons and the stuffed cat he'd gotten from his cousin Shisui on his third birthday. Everything had been cleaned, meticulously, and placed back where they had been before, but Sasuke could tell because Kuroneko-kun the cat no-longer smelled like the jasmine tea young-Sasuke had spilled on it the day before they'd been told Shisui-nii had died, had killed himself.
Staring around what had been his body's childhood room, Sasuke took a slow, deep breath and closed his eyes, hugging Kuroneko-Kun to his chest tightly and burying his face in the soft, velvety fur. After a moment, he took another slow, deep breath, and straightened up again.
"Can you carry the futon, please, Lynx-San," he asked quietly; the ANBU nodded solemnly and gathered it up, also grabbing his full bag of Academy books before he could. Sasuke didn't argue with her. He was so numb... "There was an empty apartment in Yoshiro-San's building. He was complaining about it to Tousan a month ago because it was a corner apartment and its neighbor was Akiko-Baa, who was a retired Jounin, and she would file complaints and scold whoever he tried to move in there until they left again. Kaasan said it was because she wanted him to give in and let her tear down the wall so she could have a bigger apartment," Sasuke told the ANBU seriously, the memories of the conversation surprisingly clear. He remembered Before-Sasuke not really listening outside of curiosity, and that both of his parents hadn't really cared that he was there, like most parents didn't care if they thought the children in question were either 'too-young' or simply uninterested.
He had a lot of memories like that, a lot of Elders stopping by to talk about plans alluded to but unmentioned. Of whispered murmurs between Aniki and cousin Shisui and grim, stilted conversations filled with metaphors and similes between his brother and parents. Of civilians and Shinobi outside the Compound throwing hissed comments and insults and sneers at the older Uchiha and judging, suspicious glances at the younger.
Before-Sasuke had been an oblivious child, only concerned with becoming 'just like Aniki' and spending time with his loved ones. He took pride in his training, loved his Village with the same abstract love as one might their childhood home before moving, and only thought that everyone was treated the way he was because there was a boy in his class who he often saw who was treated that way, too. Absently, as he lead the ANBU to the apartment building, Sasuke made a mental note to get closer to Uzumaki Naruto, because if the orphan boy was treated that badly, there were only two directions he would grow in.
He would either turn to desperate, needy obedience in the hopes of affection, or he would turn to sullen, vicious hate in the hopes of stopping the pain.
"Here it is," Sasuke said quietly, opening the door and stepping in. There was a fine layer of dust coating the apartment, proving that it had been unlived in before the Massacre, and something like relief loosened his shoulders. This was no corpse of a house, no dead-air stillness or loss-of-static space. This was an empty house, had been an empty house, and the air, despite the faintly musty, dusty taste to it, was clean. It was a studio, small enough that a tall adult might feel pressed in, but to Sasuke, all of seven, it felt just this side of too big. He had Lynx set his folded futon against the wall, and then set about organizing it as much as possible. He absently noted that he'd have to buy dishes and silverware, not wanting to use those of dead relatives he had-but-hadn't met, but, other than that and some household items he'd need, it was a relatively nice set-up.
Thanking Lynx and watching her vanish without a hint of the smoke or leaves that those who usually used Shunshin did, Sasuke looked around his apartment, took a deep breath of the clean, dusty air, and got to cleaning. He had a lot of things to do in the next few days, and, hopefully, his memories would settle so the god-awful headaches would go away. He didn't understand why he was here or what happened to the original Sasuke, but at least his sudden change in personality had been attributed to both trauma and his brother's unknown Mangekyo technique.
He was an old man in a child's body, with all the cynicism and tired wisdom and experience, trapped in a body filled with emotional instability and unsettled hormones and all the quirks and unknown habits already settled enough to give him pause. But this was his reality now, his life, and the times he'd already spent trapped in it had taught him to accept it and his circumstances. He was Uchiha Sasuke, and he was going to be a Shinobi of Konoha. Not because of some half-threat-half-insult from his brother, but because he was trapped here and it was expected. But that didn't mean he had to follow his Aniki's footsteps.
First, he would finish cleaning his apartment. Then, he would go over the inventory paperwork Lynx had left on his counter. And, after that, he would go back over the Academy books and old homework, so that he could settle at least some of his memories.
And, after all that, after he finished the mundane and Shinobi work?
He was going to go set an appointment with a shrink, and ask about non-Shinobi hobbies he could try that wouldn't impede his work. Itachi had been so stressed and pressured and forced into the role of 'Perfect Shinobi' that he had deep stress-lines at thirteen, things Sasuke had gotten at sixty. He wasn't going to follow those footsteps, wasn't going to let the pressures of this world threaten his already fractured mind. And the first step to that was having something that was soothing that separated him from the Shinobi mindset enough to help.
He wondered what hobbies the shrink would suggest...