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I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
She felt the drops of salt water, falling on her skin, could feel the despite the cold that had spread in her body. Had made her limbs too heavy to move, as she laid with her head against his shoulder. Her body over his lap, legs touching the ground, but not feeling the asphalt at all. “Why did you do it?” he asked and she could hear the broken note in his voice, although her ears were slowly blending out the world. She wanted to smile, stretch her hand out and touch his cheek. Tell him that he was worth it, worth it all and even more. But all she could do was say “Worth it” lips heavy and unable to form the words to her satisfaction, but at least she had managed to say them.
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone has passed tonight
“No!It's not worth it... I'm not worth it...” he wanted to shake her, wanted to even slap her across the face. Because that bullet had been meant for him, someone had meant to kill him. To make an example for Scott, to make him move with their plan, to make him do something he might regret. But she had taken it for him and he had seen her body fall with the impact. Like his heart had sank into his stomach, being shredded and turned, his organs a tight ball that was ready to explode inside of him. “Worth it...” she repeated again, this time slower, her tongue in the way, that was how it sounded and then it clicked in his head. Everything made sense and at the same time nothing did. “You didn't hear my voice right... It wasn't me you heard... You heard yourself...” he didn't know why he was talking, he should shut up, should keep the pressure on her wound. Should scream and shout for help. But instead he was talking.
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
“hmm... clever boy...” the blonde didn't know how she got the willpower to still say a word, when everything else felt like it didn't want to and couldn't work anymore. But it seemed that Stiles needed it and therefore she would try, even if it was oh-so tiring. Her eyelids felt heavy, vision blurring and Stiles image nothing but a reflection in water. “tired....” she mumbled and closed her eyes, wasn't prepared for Stiles to shout at her, to shake her even, to keep her awake. But Pascal had enough, she had enough of all the demanding. Because she had done the right thing, saved someone and that was all that mattered. After everything that had gone down? She felt like she deserved the few minutes of peace she wanted.
Don't you dare look out your window
Darling everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold on to this lullaby
Even when the music's gone, gone
“If you die, I will personally find a way to revive you and kill you again” Stiles said and kept shaking her in his lap. “You hear me?! I will get Peter to spill his dirty secret of bringing people back and I will do it. And you will have to answer to this... you will have to... Just stay alive goddamn it...” his voice broke over his own words, because he knew death. His mother, Erica, Boyd, Allison, Aiden, they had lost them all and he couldn't lose more. Not after having seen Scott almost die, having seen Derek almost die. Or Lydia and Malia. Her lips moved into a small smile, he could see it, which meant she was still hearing him. Maybe if he kept talking, if he kept saying whatever he thought, she would stay with him. Until at least someone would save them, because he was sure Scott would find them and he'd make it right again. He was all Stiles could believe in anymore. Everything that could change and would change, Scott would help with. Even if it was a sign of weakness to put everything on one person, but as much as Stiles had been there fore Scott, he needed him now.
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
“You remember? That day where you burst into the loft and said one of us was going to die? And we all looked at you, like you had gone insane. Because Scott remembered your scent, from the coffee shop, we had been in. And you swore you had heard one of us say something about the Hales. But we had been in the car then and you couldn't have heard it. Because Scott would have smelled you eavesdropping. And since then you and Lydia made a great job, of keeping us all safe.... You became part of the pack, without knowing it. And now? You really want to go? Want to leave us like this? Lydia will go insane and she will cry. You don't want that right? Or see Liam break out in tears? Cause he's such a baby... Come no Pas... god... I hate you, you know? For doing this to me and the pack. I really hate you....” he knew it was selfish, but he couldn't forgive her if she was to go now. To save his useless life, because he should be the one to get punished for what had happened, had it been his stupid plan.
Ooooo, OoooOooo,
Ooooo, OoooOooo,
Ooooo, OoooOooo,
Ooooo, OoooOooo,
Ooooo, OoooOooo,
Ooooo, OoooOooo
“Not Liam... you....” her voice was barely over a whisper, but Stiles wanted to laugh, wanted to say something,because hearing her voice. Had never been more beautiful than in that moment, he needed her to stay with him. He couldn't lose more people, how often did he have to repeat himself? Wasn't it enough, that they had to grow up faster than anyone else on this fuckin' planet? Wasn't it enough, that they tried to save everyone and lost everything in the process? Wasn't the universe satisfied at one point? He could feel the hitch in her body, could feel how her chest rose just a tiny bit, before her sinking into his lap. “Pas?” he asked and waited for something, for a word, for a rise of her chest. It had to rise again, it had to. But nothing happened and the silence was deafening, was making his ear bleed. His body shaking, fingers tight in her jacket at her shoulder the other's pressing on her fingers. She had to complain, because it should have hurt her. But there was no sound coming from her, not even the labored breathing. “Pas....” he said.
Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...
His eyes were fixed at a point apposite from him, at a wall that was blank. As blank as his mind was. No thoughts in the usually cramped place, that he called his brain. Nothing but the emptiness, that was in the room. His body unmoving, her body in his lap. Eyes staring at the wall, tears welling, pearling out of his eyes and drip over his cheeks onto her in his lap. But it didn't matter, because this silence was boring into his soul and mind. Lost again. Lost once more, lost someone again and forever. There was no way of bringing back the dead, he had lied, he had told her he hated her. Had threatened her, why had he done it? He should have told her that she was family, that he loved her as much as he loved Kira and Lydia. That she was important to them, that in her final days, she had belonged. Despite never having belonged somewhere, always on the search, for those who had given her up. He wanted to tell her that she had found something better. But no sound escaped his lips, as his eyes stayed fixed on gray nothing. Lydia's scream rang through the room but too late and Stiles didn't move.
Oooooo, OoooOooo,
Oooooo, OoooOooo,
Oooooo, OoooOooo,
Oooooo, OoooOooo,
Oooooo, OoooOooo,
Oooooo, OoooOooo
“Stiles... no...” Scott's fist having contact with the wall, concrete and rubble falling down,but it didn't bring her back. Not even the Alpha howl, Scott had to release, morning a pack member. While Stiles sat there, holding her and not moving. Because this all was just another nightmare, in the list of nightmares he was suffering.