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Katsuki was a sick child. Born at 24 weeks, he was not expected to live past his 5th birthday. His muscles were underdeveloped, his inner ear hadn’t formed properly leaving him deaf, his lungs were weak, and his spine was misaligned. As if to add the sprinkles on top of the shit sundae, that was only the physical signs from the beginning.
When he was barely two years old, he was diagnosed with his disorders as he called them. MCTD, HNPP, PoTs, Fibromyalgia, and then all his allergies. Nothing he could die from, but it made life so much harder for him. He would wake up in pain during the night, he would get sick and dizzy. Then, as if to spit in his parents, he was diagnosed Autistic. He remembers crying one night, in the hospital from a medical mishap, crying and asking why he hurt so much? Why did he make his family sad?
Because Katsuki was so sick, constantly in and out of the hospital, he only had one friend. A green-haired boy who treated him like an equal. He didn’t think much of it, but this kid was the one person who mattered more to him than he realized.
Since he was so sick, no one expected him to get a quirk. And if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want a quirk, and if he got one he wanted one like his moms. He didn’t wanted a powerful quirk...the gods loved to spite him.
~!~
Everyone was sitting around in the common room, talking about the recent class outing they had gone too. Before going into the effects of their quirk.
“Well you all know I get sick when I use my quirk too much.” Ochako told everyone, which they all nodded.
“Well I do deal with nutrients in my body being so low.” Momo shrugged, “along with my fat reserves.”
“Oh my skin burns pretty bad, and gets dry from my acid.” Mina told everyone.
Soon enough, everyone talked about what their quirk does to them. Each one varying with their severity. After a while, their classmate Bakugou Katsuki, who was not necessarily invited to the outing earlier, came into the room. His group, his only friends out of the class, looked to him.
“Bakubro! What effect does your quirk have on you?” Kirishima had asked.
“Why the fuck do you care?” Katsuki grumbled, but before Kirishima could answer...someone else spoke up.
“His quirk doesn’t have any effects. He gets a powerful quirk and doesn’t have to suffer.” Todoroki said calmly, he was one of the most powerful and everyone knew his quirks effects.
Everyone paused, thinking about it. “I mean...it does make sense. No ones ever seen Bakugou with Recovery Girl because of his quirk.” Momo added.
“Plus he never seems effected after big blasts.” Jirou added.
“Guys, I don’t think-“ Mina had started, but was cut off by Katsuki himself.
He was upset. “So just because you never seen it, makes you think it’s not there.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes, “whatever, you extras don’t give a shit.” He left the room after getting some water.
As Katsuki walked to his room, he tried to cover the blinding pain that soared through his hand as he held the glass. It hurt so bad. The fucking recoil worsened the fibro and it gets worse every year. Now that he’s at the academy...his doctor, his Meema as he called him, told him that it’s just increasing at a faster rate. However, the pain in his arms was nothing compared to his knees.
He’s had so many surgeries on his body to help him, but they only last for so long. His knees and legs had the most damage and it caused him so much pain. It was so hard to walk, and it felt impossible to get out of bed some days. Everyday was a battle.
Add that onto the toxicity of his sweat, he couldn’t go out on hot days, and not use his quirk too much. Yet, because of how powerful he is no one listens to him when he tells them. No pro hero, outside of the ones in his family would care to know. They pushed him so much. Forest training camp was the worst thing for him, the kidnapping was just the icing.
He laid on his bed, pressing his face into the pillow as he tried to breathe. His body was in so much pain and felt so heavy. But not only did his body hurt, but his mind. He had a few close friends, but sometimes he really did feel so alone. It was not unusual for mental illness to occur with the physical illness...but sometimes things were so hard.
In and out of hospitals from the very moment he was born. Constant pain and suffering from a quirk he didn’t want. Hurting his family with every scare of moments where he felt like he could die. Basic tasks becoming so draining that he was tired before it even started. Taking so many pills in one day just to function…
Sometimes he wondered if his life was worth living. Especially when he thinks of his family, he was the only child of Mitsuki and Masaru Bakugou. The younger brother to Hitoshi Shinsou. He thinks of those people, trying to remind himself to keep going…
But he was in so much pain. That selfish part of him, telling him to just end it all. A few times he listened, and gave in. It just brought more pain to his family, guilt adding onto everything that existed prior. So many times Katsuki would hear himself to say to try again...but he stopped listening.
He didn’t exist for himself anymore. Living for himself just...didn’t happen. The only people he lived for, the ones he loved. His family, his few friends, but never for himself.
So he would smile. Try and be confident. Try to not complain. Try and be happy...all for the people he loves. He didn’t want to be selfish...he just wanted the pain to stop.
Katsuki thinks back to when he was a little boy. When he was 3 years old, he remembers having his biggest scare with death. Where they were all in the belief that he was going to die, and he was visited by a woman in a suit. Asking him what he wanted, if he could wish to do anything in the world, what would he want?
He looked at the woman, and just told her. “I want to live...I wanna be happy. I don’t want Mommy to be sad.”
They told him they couldn’t grant that wish...and sometimes...he wished that they could. But hey, at least got a trip to fucking Disney world in America.
He wants to die...he wants the pain to end. But he’ll keep living...even if it’s not for himself.