Work Text:
You died on a Thursday.
It was dark and it was raining. There was no fanfare when it happened. You just…went. As we grew older, you used to joke that you wanted the world to come to a crashing halt when you died. You wanted the heavens to weep you would say. Well, it was raining so I suppose that they kind of were.
You weren’t alone though. Our beautiful girl knew it was going to happen, so she stayed with you. She knew that after I went, you wouldn’t last long. I think you knew as well because you asked her to lie with you and she did, like she used to before she grew up and became a fierce and independent woman in her own right. Just like her mother, you would say.
She used to say that we wouldn’t survive without the other, that we needed each other like we needed air. She was right. My own death had been a surprise. I hadn’t felt any different the night it happened. I went to bed as usual, kissed you goodnight and fell asleep in your arms. Only I hadn’t woken up the next morning. After everything we had been through over the years, succumbing in my sleep seemed wrong, but I’m glad that’s how it was. I died knowing I was loved. I couldn’t ask for more than that.
You phoned Liv, heartbroken and she came right over with James, Sophie and Will and you all cried together. The doctors came and went and the coroner took me away, leaving a hole in your life. I think she knew that you wouldn’t be far behind me, so she sent James and the kids home eventually, wanting to be alone with you, not wanting to share you with anyone.
You talked long into the night, you were telling her about your life. Our lives. Even though she had heard it all a thousand times before, you told her how we met, how a small basement office in the long gone J. Edgar Hoover building had been the place where two soul mates met for the first time and began a journey where their lives remained entwined, despite the ups and downs they endured.
You told her about her brother who she had met briefly as a baby, who her own son was named after. I adored her even more when we went to visit her after his birth and the first thing she said to me was Mom, his name is William, after his uncle. My heart broke for my missing boy but she kept him alive through our grandson. You told her how much we loved her brother, about how special he was.
You told her about her aunts who died long before her parents ever imagined spending their lives together. You told her about her grandparents, about how much they would have all adored her. And she lay with you and she listened, needing to spend these last few hours with you. She didn’t interrupt, she just let you talk, watching you with such adoration that it broke my heart. She always was a daddy’s girl.
You told her that you loved her, that aside from her mother, she was the only other woman that held a special place in your heart. She had cried at that, but you reassured her that you would be with me again and that she shouldn’t be sad. You told her that you didn’t want to live without me, that she knew you couldn’t be without me. You told her that she had her own family now, a husband who adored her and kids of her own, that she shouldn’t be sad about losing us.
Deep down she knew this, but you knew it didn’t hurt her any less. Knowing that you were going to be breaking your little girls heart in the very near future was hurting you. The day she was born, you told me that you would never do anything to hurt her and you hadn’t. I knew how much you loved me, but part of me knew from the day she arrived in our lives that I’d lost a part of you to her. And I didn’t mind one bit. She was our miracle.
You knew that you wouldn’t last the night so you made sure that you stayed awake. For her. As much as you wanted to be with me again, you didn’t want to leave her. Our little girl. Even though she was married and had children of her own, you didn’t want to leave her alone. She had never been alone since the day she was born.
She fell asleep before you did and I watched how you watched her. She didn’t want to sleep, but it had been a long and hard twenty four hours for her. You hated that she was going through the worst time of her life. You didn’t want this for her. Neither did I.
I kept watch over you both as you brushed hair back off her face and squeezed her hand gently, savouring these last precious minutes with our daughter. I watched as your eyes closed for the last time and your last breath left your lungs. You were still holding her hand and when she awakes in a few short hours, your hand will still be on hers and she will never forget that, but she will be heartbroken. Even knowing that, I couldn’t help but smile.
I knew you were on your way back to me.
I placed the pen on the table and closed the notebook that I had been making notes in, then carefully pushed back from the table and returned the notebook to its place on the bookcase in the corner. As I passed the TV on which I had been watching you, I flicked the off switch and paused in front of the mirror to check my appearance.
My hair was fiery red again and the wrinkles that had lined my face in old age were gone. I looked thirty five again. I never expected this. Any of it. We’d had so many theological discussions over the years about what happened after we died. You knew my beliefs and I knew yours. I’d only been here less than twenty four hours, but I had learnt so much and I couldn’t wait for you to arrive and share it all with me.
The knock on the door came. I smiled to myself and made my way to the door, taking a deep breath as I hesitated for a second. I had missed you so much and I was about to see you again. Liv was going to be devastated at losing us both in such a short space of time, but I was overjoyed and as I pulled open the door and looked at you, a forty year old you, you looked both shocked, surprised and overwhelmed to see a young me again, but then you smiled.
“Scully?”
I nodded and you stepped inside the room, wrapping your arms around my waist and burying your face in my neck, breathing me in. I ran my fingers through your hair, closed my eyes and sighed happily, revelling in the oh so familiar scent of you. You looked at me and before I could even react, you kissed me as though you were a starving man who hadn’t eaten in months. I had missed these kisses.
You pulled back to look at me and then looked around the room, wonder and confusion on your face. I smiled and pulled you inside, closing the door behind you and I led you to the sofa that stood against the wall, where we sat quietly for a moment. I climbed onto your lap and we spent a few minutes just being with each other, touching and kissing and making sure this was really happening. I was so thankful that I had you back again. I’d missed you so much. Time moved much slower here, so while I’d only been apart from you for twenty four hours, it felt like months.
I have no idea how long it was before you spoke, but I didn’t care. I could have sat in silence with you for hours. “Where are we?”
I raised my head from your shoulder and looked at you. “The afterlife,” I replied simply.
“This is heaven? It looks like a waiting room.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “This is…we’re in a kind of heavenly waiting room. When a person dies, a loved one gets to come and meet you, to make the transition easier. We can stay here as long as we want, there’s no rush,” I said. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Why do you look like you do when we were younger? Why do I?”
I laced my fingers in yours before I spoke, needing to touch you again. “This is how we looked when we fell in love.”
You accepted my answer without questioning it. For now. I was sure that you would question me further on this when you had settled in and the shock of being here had worn off. Your inquisitive mind was partly why I fell for you.
“So heaven exists, huh?”
“If you want to call it that, yes,” I said. “Although I’m sorry to disappoint you,” I smiled. “There are no cherubs in white robes playing harps here, no St Peter at the pearly gates, no kicking back on white clouds.” I grinned when you began to laugh. “Outside this room…Mulder, this is our afterlife. Our parents are here.”
“All of them?”
I smiled at your questioning tone. I knew you doubted your father would be here after how he spent his life. “All of them,” I confirmed. “Your parents atoned for what they did during their lives. They’ve been punished and now... now they’re here.” I smiled before I spoke again. “Ahab is looking forward to meeting you.”
You grinned at me. After everything we had been through over our lives, there was only one thing you could say to finding out my father was waiting to meet you. “He’s gonna kick my ass isn’t he?”
I laughed and shook my head. “No he isn’t. He actually likes you. My mom is here. My brothers. Melissa too. Samantha.”
“Sam?”
I nodded and squeezed your hand. “She’s missed you so much.”
“You’ve spoken to…you’ve seen her?”
I nodded again. “She was waiting for me. She wanted to be the one to meet me here. She thanked me for taking care of you all these years.”
“But she was…she was in the starlight. I found her.”
I nodded. “I know. She moved on once you found her. She was happy, she had no reason to remain there.”
You looked behind you at the door you had just walked through. “What happens to Liv?”
Tears sprang to my eyes at the mention of my daughter. “We get to watch her. Whenever we want. But she’ll be okay Mulder.”
“How do you know?”
“She’s our baby,” I replied with a knowing smile. You smiled and nodded so I glanced at the door and back at you. “Are you ready?”
You nodded so I climbed off you, stood and held my hand out to you, which you took as you stood. You leant down and kissed me again, briefly but full of longing. I smiled and laced my fingers through yours and led you to the door that would take us from limbo to our own piece of heaven. I looked up at you and grinned when you looked back at me. I could see you were nervous but there was nothing to be afraid of. We were together again and we always would be.
You took a deep breath and nodded then pulled the door open and you got your first view of our paradise. Hands tightly entwined, you walked through confidently with me by your side, ready to face whatever lay in store for us.
Together.