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Izuku is one of those platonic friends that are very touchy-feely, and it drives Shouto insane. He has finally understood that friendship comes with spending time together, with texting and calling, with the occasional hug here and there. He understands .
But why on earth does Izuku think it is okay to hold his hand at every given occasion?
It started off small: a gentle grasp of hands whenever they met up… one that lasted mere seconds and sent Shouto’s heart pounding and his mind whirling. Somehow, Izuku has escalated things to full on walking to class with Shouto’s hand in his, fingers interlaced.
Shouto can understand regular hand holding but interlacing fingers ? That has to be some sort of signal, right?
The first time he asks Izuku about it, the freckled boy just shrugs, a grin on his lips.
“Holding hands like this makes me feel safer for some reason!”
Izuku shakes their interlocked hands gently and gives Shouto such a sweet smile, Shouto’s irritation crumbles. He is forced to accept that, yes, his life now includes interlacing fingers with Izuku platonically.
Honestly, he is okay with that. Really, Shouto is fine with all the random touches and hugs that come with Izuku’s friendship. What he’s not okay with is those same affections being lavished on others. Anytime Shouto sees Izuku walking along with Ochako’s hand in his, babbling excitedly, he feels this incredible surge of irritation. It makes him want to go up to them, freeze Ochako’s hands and whisk Izuku away.
The truth is… it hurts. Badly. His heart feels like it’s going to break whenever Izuku laces his fingers with his, whenever Izuku holds him close at random, whenever the boy laughs off questions about their relationship status.
“Ah, no! Shouto and I are just good friends.” He’d say with a smile and squeeze of Shouto’s hand.
Shouto would very much like to burn the word “friend” from Izuku’s vocabulary. The simple word in the boy’s mouth sends stings and aches through Shouto.
Every pull and sway of Izuku’s affections stabs and heals him. He cannot help but grab the boy’s hand sometimes, seeking that affection from him as proof that Izuku is there.
It is frustrating.
When Izuku siddles up to him with a smile on his face and a question on his lips, Shouto pays close attention.
“Hey Shouto! Do you want to come for a sleepover at my house this weekend? I know you tend to stay in the dorms whenever we go home, so you can just join me!?”
What is Shouto expected to say? No? What else can he do but follow along and hope that someday, Izuku will feel for him the way he does? It stings and festers but he cannot bring himself to do it any other way.
The sleepover is nice. Izuku pulls out a futon and insists on giving Shouto his bed since “he’s a guest.” Mrs. Midoriya is incredibly kind, and dinner isn’t even awkward.
Shouto’s only complaint is how he spends hours with his front pressed to Izuku’s back, watching a stupid All Might movie on his bed whilst Izuku plays with their fingers.
He has ample opportunity to press himself closer, to breathe in Izuku’s scent, to take advantage of their closeness and pretend it means something more.
Too soon, the movie ends and Izuku moves to his futon, a goodnight on his pretty lips.
Shouto doesn’t sleep very well that night, his mind too full of the things he could have done to push their relationship in a direction he’d like it to go in. That night, he decides: the next sleepover they have (because Izuku is inevitable and he knows it), he will kiss him.
The thought is incredibly terrifying but Shouto cannot keep living this way, pretending to have his heart intact while Izuku chips chunks away for his platonic pleasure. If Izuku kisses him back, that cannot be platonic, right? And if Izuku rejects him, perhaps the boy will return the aching heart he stole from him.
So next time, when Izuku asks him to sleepover for the entire weekend, Shouto says “Yes” with a racing heart and a plan to unfold.
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Shouto’s plan is simple.
He absolutely cannot afford to just confess to Izuku. It would put him in a situation that is too precarious for his comfort. No, Shouto is going to push the boundaries of Izuku’s platonic touchiness.
It’s an easy and (hopefully) effective plan. He just needs to keep escalating things with Izuku until the boy has no choice but to accept that their actions have strayed far from the region of friendship.
And when he makes that realization, Shouto will (hopefully) feel confident enough to try confessing his feelings. It’s absolutely fool-proof. The sleepover comes and Shouto is ready.
All his confidence is dumped out the window when Izuku forgoes the futon and says, “We can share this time right? I don’t mind sharing with you!”
Shouto’s mouth goes dry. He may have cuddled with the boy countless times now but sleeping together? Waking up to see Izuku’s sleepy face first thing in the morning, right beside him?
It’s too much, too fast for his poor aching heart. Why would Izuku himself push these boundaries? Were there no boundaries at all?
Of course, he agrees. Despite his hurting heart, Shouto is desperate for every scrap of affection Izuku throws his way. If Izuku just stops taking his hand in his, Shouto will fight the world for the opportunity once more.
As the night wears on and he cuddles with Izuku, his nerves are too high. He feels like he will faint if he attempts anything. He decides to postpone his plan till the next morning.
Morning comes and Shouto wakes to Izuku’s face in his chest and legs tangled with his. His arm is around the boy, holding him close and he takes a moment to just breathe and prepare for the plan.
Gently, he rubs Izuku’s back through his thin nightshirt to wake him up.
A sleepy looking Izuku is incredibly potent for Shouto’s heart. Messy curls and green eyes blinking up at him. A slow smile as Izuku realizes the position they’re in and holds him tighter .
Oh god.
“Morning Shouto.” Another devastating smile with a yawn. “Did you sleep well?” Izuku adjusts himself, making no attempt to pull away from Shouto, propping his cheek on a pec and staring him.
The bed isn’t built for two people and Shouto is more accustomed to the spaciousness of his own bed. Sleeping in unfamiliar environments is also hard for him but… Shouto has never slept better. Ever.
“Yeah… you?”
He moves his hand down Izuku’s spine, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt. There is no way Izuku cannot feel his heart in the position he’s in: it’s stomping along like an angry herd of elephants.
In fact, Izuku starts to trace his fingertips over Shouto’s chest. He mumbles sleepily about his night as he performs the intimate action.
Okay, fuck this.
Shouto decides he’s just going to do whatever he wants because Izuku is going to be the death of him.
He sticks his hand down Izuku’s shirt.
One small movement for Shouto, a massive leap towards the edge of the friendzone for all time.
Izuku’s skin is warm underneath his palm and he shuts his eyes tightly, terrified of seeing Izuku’s expression.
And then, Izuku… Izuku nuzzles him, affectionate as always.
DOES HE THINK THIS IS NORMAL?!
Shouto has to keep a tight hold of his quirks so he doesn’t self immolate and take the entire Midoriya household down with him.
Okay, breathe, Shouto. Push the boundaries of friendship!!
It takes considerable mental energy (and he cannot open his eyes), but he reaches out and grabs Izuku’s bare pec. He has always known that the boy works out too much, but the feel of that firm muscle in his grip hits different. He takes a deep breath, entirely focused on his goal now and…
He squeezes. Squeezes it a lot actually. Shouto molds Izuku’s pecs like they were formed for his fingers. He presses down, flicks Izuku’s nipples, caresses the boy’s entire torso really.
And Izuku is making all these pretty noises too, moving towards Shouto’s touch with his face buried in his neck.
Shouto thinks viciously, “ It’s not the friendzone if I’ve squeezed your tits! HA! SUCCESS! ” He cannot just kiss Izuku out of the blue; this is clearly the next best thing.
Until it isn’t.
Mrs Midoriya knocks on the door, calling them down for breakfast. And Izuku. Izuku just sits up, yawns, smiles at Shouto and hops out of bed.
Like nothing happened.
Like Shouto didn’t just spend god knows how long feeling him up.
Like this is normal .
The freckled boy isn’t even flushed any more than usual. It is. Underwhelming. It is painful.
While Izuku is using the bathroom, Shouto takes a few moments to evaluate what just happened.
Did Izuku really not feel like they just did something incredibly intimate?
His breath catches as he realizes: Izuku does these things on a regular basis. That’s why he’s so unaffected. This is just another day in the life of Izuku Midoriya with his friends. He has the sudden urge to curl up and cry. He’s not special and this is just Izuku being affectionate. It hurts too much.
But he can’t just start bawling like a baby. Izuku would be all over him with worry, and Shouto doesn’t think he can stand one more “friendly” touch from the boy.
He abandons the plan.
Clearly, Izuku is impossible to faze. Shouto is almost certain that kissing the boy will elicit nothing but a soft smile, another kiss and an “I’m happy we’re such good friends, Shouto.”
If that happens, Shouto doesn’t think his heart will recover. So he does what he does best: repress, repress, repress.
For the rest of the weekend, he keeps his distance in the ways that he can. Slipping his hand out of Izuku’s. Keeping a few inches between their bodies in bed. Subtly avoiding all the excess contact.
It is agony. Fuck, it hurts . But letting these things happen, knowing it means nothing hurts even more.
To make things worse, Izuku mentions off-hand that Iida and him have sleepovers too. Shouto feels whatever is left of his ravaged heart shatter. Look up ‘heartbreak’ and you should find a picture of Shouto’s face right under images.
Back at school, Shouto avoids Izuku in a gradual incline. He changes his workout schedule so they no longer match. Times his mornings so they can’t walk together, hand in hand as always.
He misses him terribly, but he’s made up his mind: Izuku’s version of closeness is too much for him, and he will prioritize his mental health over this.
“Ah, Shouto! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! Are you feeling okay?”
Yes, he is fine. Training has just gotten more intense since it’s UA.
“Shouto! Do you want to join me for a sleepover? Iida said he might come too!”
No, he cannot. Fuyumi has a new cat and wants to show him.
His new plan is simple: he just has to kill this useless crush. What’s the best way to stop a crush?
Starve it.
§
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Perhaps that would work for any other person on this planet… but not Izuku. He doesn’t even give Shouto up to 2 weeks to drift away slowly. The boy shows up at his room door, unannounced.
“Shouto, did I do something to offend you? I feel like you’re avoiding me!” Steady eyes, determined green gaze.
“No, you didn’t. I’m actually kind of busy right now…” He moves to shut the door but Izuku shimmies into the room.
“You are! A few weeks ago, you’d let me in and just be busy around me. What’s wrong? Talk to me, Shouto.”
The thing is, Shouto is weak for Izuku. These past few weeks have been a test like no other. All it takes is a pout and a furrowed brow for Shouto’s resolve to crumble.
They settle into the futon of his traditional style room, a familiar action that sends bittersweet feelings rushing through him. Izuku leans closer, paying rapt attention to him.
“I- uh- nothing’s wrong per se… sorry for making you feel like I was avoiding you.”
The words are bitter in his mouth but you know what they say: Fake it till you make it.
The forest haired boy stares at him, as if trying to figure him out. Their eyes are locked for a few tense seconds before Izuku flings his arms around Shouto in a tight hug.
“I’ve missed you so much, Shouto! You know you can talk to me about anything, right? That’s what friends are for!”
His entire body as well as the decomposed particles of his ancestors stiffens. Friends.
Friends .
He hates that word.
“Wh-What? You don’t want to be friends with me?”
Izuku pulls away, eyes wide with sudden unshed tears. Shit, he must have said something out loud.
“Is that why you were avoiding me? Was that your way of cutting-”
“NO!” He stops him, gripping Izuku’s hand tightly in his. His eyes meet Izuku’s wet ones. It is now or never. It’s do or die. Will he sink? Will he swim?
The words are simple but they will change the dynamics of their friendship for a long time. How will Shouto live with himself if he is rejected? They’re choking him: the weight of the words pressing down on his chest.
But really, how will Shouto live with himself if he remains silent, choosing to stay safe and sound in the friendzone?
“Izuku. I. I. Ihaveacrushonyoupleasegooutwithme!”
The boy blinks, probably trying to decipher his words. But then, he smiles like a flower bursting from a green bud. It’s beautiful.
“Wow, Shouto, I never would have imagined! Thank you for sharing your feelings with me…”
There is a silent ’but’. It slaps Shouto and tells him his mom hates him.
“But, I can’t give you an answer right now. Y-you’re amazing, don’t get me wrong! And I really like you… just not in that way. I guess I never really thought about us or anyone really beyond being friends. Could you give me some t-time to think about it?”
It’s not a “No”. Shouto has a chance!!
But, it’s not a yes either. Shouto has a slim chance.
§
§
It takes another two weeks. Two weeks of Izuku suddenly getting shy about touching him. Izuku blushing whenever Shouto stares too long. Izuku respecting his personal space. Like a normal person.
It’s actually glorious.
Seeing the boy blush like a strawberry just from brushing hands with him accidentally is a heady sensation. Izuku can just never reply to his confession and be shy all the time, and Shouto would appreciate it. After all the excessive contact he has experienced, it’s nice to have a change of pace for once.
However, Shouto’s insecurities snatch up on Izuku’s new distance, pointing out the closeness Izuku still shares with his other friends, telling him that all he has succeeded in doing is ruining their perfectly good friendship.
It’s hard but Shouto will not push him. He isn’t going to browbeat Izuku for a reply. He will just let himself fade into oblivion.
“S-Shouto? D-does the d-date offer still s-stand?”
Ahh, he’s blushing again! His words make Shouto want to climb up to the roof of UA and scream with joy.
He schools his expression into practiced blankness. “Yes it does!!” He clears his throat to manage the excitement in his voice. “Are you free next weekend?”
The green-eyed boy looks down, bites his lip and nods. “I-I don’t have a crush on you, Shouto. But I think you’re incredible a-and v-very h-handsome, and I’m willing to try dating you to see if we’re compatible.”
That’s fine. It’s hard to be so into someone on the first try anyways. Shouto now has the go ahead and the power to woo Izuku properly.
“Perfect.”
And it is. Izuku may still be too generous with his personal space, but Shouto will do his best to correct that if he’s given the chance.
“Can I kiss you?” He blurts out. He might as well try.
Izuku’s flustered blush is beautiful, better than anything he’s seen in a while now.
“S-Shouto! I just agreed to date!”
“Sorry, sorry. I just like moving things along.” He laughs, reaching out to take Izuku’s hand.
And this time, it’s different. When their fingers interlace, it’s like a burden has been shoved off Shouto’s chest and he’s coming home. He can breathe. It’s not platonic anymore.
They’re dating .
And if Shouto has anything to say about it, they’ll be boyfriends pretty soon.