Chapter Text
Kravitz sits in his office looking despairingly at the piles of papers. If only everything was as easily organised as his book of bounties. The closest pile contains brochures, sheet music, letters and at least one recipe. He sighs. He should really start at least organising the letters. He might live alone, but the mess is starting to bother even him. Suddenly he feels a disturbance. There's someone in his apartment. A loud call of "Hey Babes!" reverberates through his apartment. Kravitz relaxes, lets the skull fade away again. If you told him a hundred years ago that the presence of a lich in his home would make him relax, he would have collared you for being part of a weird death cult. Both for thinking a lich might be good and because followers of weird death cults were the only mortals he spoke with back then. His life has really improved in recent years. He takes a moment to smooth down his suit before he walks out to greet his boyfriend’s sister.
"Hello Lup. I'm sorry, but Taako isn't here to see you right now."
He hates how formal he’s being, but Lup is very different from Taako. She’s also an incredibly powerful lich and those kinda make him uncomfortable. And she threatened to kill him, of course. Not that he can be killed, but the threat still stands.
Lup stands in the middle of his living room, appearing with nicely braided hair and wearing a silk crème outfit that Taako would call underdressed. She doesn’t look like a lich at all. Kravitz isn’t sure whether that is reassuring or not. Lup heaves a dramatic sigh and tries to peer past him into the office.
"Look skelle-boy, it's twin time. Says so right there on the calendar. Lup's Taako Time."
She points dramatically towards the calendar, which was a failing attempt to bring order to a life lived on several planes and disparate times. The day planner definitely did not include anything like “Taako Time”. Its express purpose was to stop Taako from ruining any attempt of planning by saying it was Taako Time.
"I apologise,” Kravitz says stiffly, “but it says, and I quote: Appt w/ Lucas about some nerd shit." He’s not quite sure why she’s here. Taako doesn’t actually live here. Sure, he might be here a lot, leaving boots on the floor and jewellery in the bed, but he still doesn’t live here.
Lup narrows her eyes and the calendar curls up in flames. She takes a threatening step closer, floating to be the same height.
"It. Said. Taako. Time."
She's so close her forehead is nearly pressed to Kravitz's. Kravitz will absolutely not take a step back, he will not yield, he has faced liches far more terrible than his boyfriend's sister. At that moment, the elf himself waltzes in, pockets jingling with expensive sounds.
"Hey Babe. Oh hey Lup," he calls out, ignoring the tense tableau to move past them to the kitchen. "I am commandeering this kitchen, losers. Nerd boy had the nerve to say my goulash was too salty so he's dead to me and also I gotta show him how ding dong wrong he is. Feel free to keep doing that weird staring thing you've got going on, Taako's good out here."
Lup takes a step back, but flashes an unnerving smile at Kravitz in warning, lest he takes this as a sign of weakness.
"I was just gonna visit my little nerd brother, but Krav-Krav here apparently has a problem with that," she says, dangerously cheerful.
"I do not, I just—" before Kravitz can find the correct words to explain the situation, Taako's already cut him off.
"Nah, he's just used to living alone and like never has guests over also, he’s like super intimidated by your badassness. It’s a thing, he’s a nerd, what can ya do?” Taako says airily. Kravitz grasps onto that gratefully. He’s really not used to people invading his space, but he wants Lup to feel welcome here. She’s important to Taako, so she’s important to him.
"It's just, I would have appreciated a warning. Of course you're welcome, Lup."
"Well here's your warning, death man. Taako and I, we're a package deal and you can't change that. And also I'm staying and there ain't nothing you can do about it."
“I know,” says Kravitz as calmly and sincerely as he can.
"Yeah, that's great Lulu," says Taako airily, staring intently at the pot. "Now stop with the sappy shit, come here and give me your opinion on this flavour palate you can’t taste."
The twins start bickering about which one of them has terrible opinions and the tension in the air deflates palpably. Kravitz feels like he just narrowly escaped something. He looks around his apartment. It used to be sleek and organised, the mess contained to his office. Now there's cookware strewn around, several garishly bright capes and cloaks hanging by the door. It's full of messy, unorganised life now. The worst offender is Taako's throne. He got it in Fantasy Costco and insisted it needed to clutter up Kravitz's living room instead of his own apartment. It's Taako's favourite place to slump dramatically whenever something displeases him. It was an expensive thing, heavy with gold and encrusted with jewels. It's hideous. Kravitz thinks to himself that those two facts combined probably mean no one has bought the other half of the set. If he'd move his couch to the other wall, there'd be space for a second throne, placed in optimum position to catch the sunlight from the enchanted windows. He makes a note, mental now the day planner has burned to a crisp, to go pick it up tomorrow. He wants Lup to feel welcomed here.
Later, when he's being crushed on the couch while Lup and Taako kick at each other like children, eating a delicious goulash that no one could possibly call oversalted, he thinks he can deal with his apartment being overrun by aggressive elves, if this is the result.