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English
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Part 3 of The Ginger Behemoth and The Gangly Doctor Creature
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Published:
2019-11-09
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1,343
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1/1
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Catifying to Mongolian Heavy Metal

Summary:

Update: See author note for information on my new and unfinished fics

Obviously Mongolian heavy metal is the only music appropriate while catifying a home, no matter what Jackie Tyler says

Notes:

This is what happens when I brainstorm ideas for the Dynamic Duo while listening to The Hu. I’m also trying to keep this story in line with the Big FInish audio stories.

I could also use a beta for a few of these if anyone is interested

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Even though there had been a rocky start, well he says rocky, more like terrible, well violent really, worse than a dalek invasion if he did say so himself, but the point is that things were better now. Things were just peachy, not at all pear shaped, in fact there were no pears anywhere, things were brilliant. He was happy, Doctor Puff had not only accepted him but seemed to actually enjoy his company, and Rose had been positively ecstatic that her boys were getting along.

Rose, his lovely pink and yellow Rose. Rose who had saved him from himself, who was patient with him when he had trouble adjusting to this life, who never failed to make him smile. Rose who would come home late from work with take out and affectionately ruffle his hair and pet Doctor Puff smiling that tongue touched smile of hers. If for no other reason the Doctor would strive to nurture his relationship with Doctor Puff just to see Rose smile.

Rose’s smile wasn’t the only benefit to his friendship with Doctor Puff. He genuinely enjoyed the affectionate head butts in the morning, and the way Doctor Puff was attuned to his moods at least as much as Rose, and he never betrayed his super secret stash of tabloids. The Doctor put on a good show of always being alright, but sometimes it was difficult, and when Rose wasn’t there to distract him Doctor Puff would curl up in his lap in quiet companionship.

Cheese was of course Doctor Puffs favorite, which is why the Doctor always made sure to pick up extra at the store whenever he went out. But that didn’t mean it was the only way they bonded. After watching ‘My Cat From Hell’ he had decided to take up some of the advice to ‘catify’ their home. He was installing ramps and shelves on the walls for Doctor Puff to climb and perch on, with his handy sonic screwdriver, and Jackie would just have to understand that this was more important than putting together furniture for one of the many guest bedrooms at the mansion, because how often are they actually used? The Doctor could tell you it was maybe once a month and there were six to choose from, SIX! Doctor Puff lived full time at their home so obviously this took precedent and Jackie Tyler would just have to deal with it.

Jackie Tyler who just happened to be knocking on the door while the Doctor was putting together a new cat tree, it was TARDIS blue. Letting out an irritated huff he dragged himself to the door to let her in.

“Jackie. Rose didn’t mention you were coming over today.”

“I need to pick up her dress for the Vitex party.” As she stepped inside her face scrunched up in distaste. “What the hell is that noise?”

The Doctor rolled his eyes as he closed the door behind her. Wasn’t it just like Jackie to complain about his music choice. “The Hu.”

“What are you on about? I’ve listened to The Who and this is not The Who.”

“The Hu, H, U, not W, H, O.” Rassilon could she be dense.

“Well whoever they are, they call this music?”

“Jackie Tyler I will not have you coming into my home and insulting the brilliance that is Mongolian heavy metal.” Who the hell did she think she was? He wasn’t going around insulting her quite frankly questionable tastes. There are planets where she would be arrested for her taste in music. But did you see him pointing that out, no, because he had more tact than that. Well, tact might not be the right word. More like self preservation in avoiding a Jackie Tyler slap. He couldn't rely on regeneration to save him from that anymore. “And the lyrics are actually quite inspired and meaningful in you bothered to listen.”

“Well I wouldn’t know. Seeing as how I don’t speak Mongolian.” She used the kind of tone someone takes on when explaining things to young children

The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at her “Well why?”

“Why what?” Oh this song and dance again.

Did he have to spell this out for her. “Why don’t you speak Mongolian?”

“Why don’t I speak- Why would I speak Mongolian? I don’t live in Mongolia you daft alien! I live in England, where we speak English! How come you speak Mongolian!?” The Doctor could only roll his eyes. How long had she known him, honestly it was easier to count the number of languages he didn’t know.

“Well you tend to pick up a few things when you’re spending time with Gengis Khan.” Especially when you’re trying your best not to insult him. Trying being the operative word. He still considered himself lucky the TARDIS had been able to keep out that army. Really he hadn’t meant to insult his mother, he just got the syntax wrong was all.

“Well whatever you call this noise I’m shutting it off.” Pushing past him Jackie made her way over to where his phone was plugged in to the sound system, only to have her hand swatted at by Doctor Puff who sat perched next to it. “Seriously? What you think you’re so clever training the cat to do that Mr. Meta-crisis.”

“Nope.” The Doctor gave her the smuggest grin possible. “He likes it.”

“You’re telling me Doctor Puff actually likes this noise? You’re barmy you are.”

“He finds the primal beats and guttural quality of the throat singing quite soothing actually.” He gave her the expression that Rose and Sarah Jane had dubbed his ‘like you just dribbled on your shirt’ look.

With a huff she started towards the bedroom only to come to a sudden stop in the living room. “And what the hell is this?”

“What?”

“This!” Jackie waved her hands at the shelves and cat tree, spinning in a circle to stare at his handy work.

“I’m catifying Jackie.”

“Catifying. That’s what you’re calling this, this, this mess?”

“Well it won’t be a mess when I’m finished. Which would have been sooner if someone hadn’t interrupted me to complain about my music for five minutes and thirty eight seconds and counting.” He had a lot to accomplish before Rose came home. Rose who had not only approved of this project but found the TARDIS blue cat tree. Who had also painted a little wood sign ‘POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX’ to hang on the wall over it.

“So you’ve got time to, to catify your living room, but you didn’t have the time to help me with my furniture when I needed it?”

“Well obviously.” Before she could answer The Doctor had already pulled out Rose’s dress to shove into her hands. “Now if you’ll excuse me Doctor Puff and I have some more work to do.” Jackie stormed out muttering about barmy alien meta-crisis, slamming the door behind her.

Doctor Puff watched the exchange between his gangly Doctor creature and the Jackie human with amusement. His gangly Doctor creature quickly returned to his project, his screwdriver in hand. Doctor Puff had originally found the sound grating, but he could forgive it for a time as long as it was being wielded to further his own agenda.

His gangly Doctor creature was compliant now, wanting nothing more than to please him. A far cry from their original interactions. He had come so far under the tutelage of Doctor Puff and his other underlings.

The Jackie human on the other hand, she would take more work. She truly believed that his gangly Doctor creature had trained him? Oh she truly was a simple creature. How laughable to think that he, superior being that he was, could be trained by such lowly creatures. It was unfortunate that she did not reside with them. It would be so much easier to bend her to his will with more frequent contact. Alas he must resign himself to corrections for her behavior while she was here in his domain.

Notes:

I know The Hu was founded in 2016, but for the sake of this story we’re going to say that in Pete’s World they started years earlier. Also if you’re a fan of metal music I HIGHLY recommend their album The Gereg. Wolf Totem is currently my jam, and what I listened to on repeat while writing this.

Also every universe deserves the wholesome goodness that is Jackson Galaxy