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Guilt

Summary:

Glimmer tries to hide the injury She-Ra inflicted on her at the Northern Reach for Adora's sake. It does not go as planned...

Notes:

Season 4 got me all sorts of fucked up, so here's a throwback to season 2 with some very soft glimmadora. Hopefully these two find their way back to each other. In the meantime....fanfiction!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The ride back to Bright Moon from the Northern Reach was a long one. Made even longer by the lingering pain that echoed in Glimmer’s ribs.

She-Ra hit hard, that was for sure. Glimmer almost felt bad for Catra; for all those times she’d faced off against the giant warrior woman…. Almost.

Adora lay resting against her shoulder, fast asleep, completely drained from her beserk-mode excursion as She-Ra. Bow was huddled on her other side, tucked deep inside his coat to shield himself from the cold as the skiff flew across the frozen wasteland. Glimmer winced when she adjusted herself between them, the pain in her side as sharp as a knife.

She was pretty sure Adora hadn’t broken anything… It was probably just a bad bruise; she’d have to check once they’d returned home. In secret, of course. If Adora found out what she’d done—

Glimmer didn’t blame her of course. She had no control when that stupid First Ones tech infected her sword. And besides that, if Catra hadn’t lured her away and poisoned her in the first place, none of this would have happened. In any case, Glimmer knew Adora would blame herself. Her guilt complex was almost unbelievably ridiculous sometimes. She took everything that went wrong to heart. And knowing that she’d hurt one of her friends, unintentionally or not, it would destroy her.

So Glimmer did her best to hide her pain, even when Sea Hawk dropped them off at the edge of Bright Moon and they were forced to walk the rest of the way—Glimmer suddenly regretted using every last ounce of magic she’d had during their mission, because every step was agony.

Bow, being Bow, seemed to finally notice the stutter in Glimmer’s step. He kept casting worried glances her way, although he said nothing, for which Glimmer was extremely grateful. Adora, on the other hand, seemed too lost in her own thoughts to notice anything, her brow furrowed low over dark eyes. Glimmer wanted to ask her what was wrong, or what she could do to help, but considering her current predicament, it was probably best that Adora was distracted.

The three parted ways as soon as they made it to the castle, with Bow promising he’d relay the results of their mission to Queen Angella so that the girls could rest. Glimmer retreated gratefully to her room, although not before watching Adora walk dejectedly down the hall towards her own chambers. Their confrontation with Catra must have really gotten to her.

Once she was safely inside her room, the door locked behind her, Glimmer stripped off the many layers she’d bundled herself in, until she stood in only her underclothes. It was only then that she dared approach the full-length mirror in the corner of her room to assess the damage. Sure enough, an enormous purplish-black bruise covered her entire right side. It was painful and hot to the touch and swelling at an alarming rate.

Groaning to herself, Glimmer figured she should probably alert one of the healers. But then again, it was just a bruise, right? It would go away on its own. Ignoring the ache in her ribs, and head (that she’d smacked on the ground) and ankle (that she’d probably twisted in the fall), Glimmer made her way to the floating steps that led to her bed.

It wasn’t until she attempted to climb the first one that she realized she’d probably be spending the night sleeping on the window seat, because lifting her leg sent a pain rocketing through her that hurt like nothing else. She couldn’t hold back the yelp that erupted from within her as she tumbled back onto the floor. Deciding it was probably best to crawl, Glimmer made her way toward the loveseat, snagging a robe from the drawer underneath it and then bundling herself up and laying back against the pillows. The loveseat wasn’t nearly as soft as her bed and the ache in her ribs only seemed to increase as she lay there as still as she possibly could be.

A sudden quiet knock on her door nearly startled her to the floor. Terrified that it was Adora, Glimmer struggled to her feet, trying desperately to appear normal, when she heard Bow’s voice.

“Glimmer?”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Glimmer hobbled to the door and opened it a crack to see her best friend looking down at her, concern etched onto his face.

“Hey, can I come in?”

“Um…” Glimmer wasn’t actually sure if Bow would keep her secret from Adora, but he looked so worried…She could never deny his puppy dog eyes. “Yeah…Okay.”

She opened the door a little wider to let him in and then shut it behind him, turning the lock again.

“Are you okay?” Bow asked, his eyes flicking to the now locked door before taking Glimmer in. “You looked really pale on the walk back to Bright Moon.”

“I’m fine!” Glimmer tried to appear as chipper as she could. “Just… A little sore from the fight.”

Bow’s brow furrowed in concern. “With She-Ra.” His eyes suddenly widened. “When she hit you?”

Glimmer bit her lip and then nodded.

“Did she hurt you?” Bow asked, although there was no venom in his voice, just genuine concern.

“No…Just—Maybe a little? But she didn’t mean to Bow! It was Catra’s fault. And if Adora finds out—,” Glimmer reached for Bow, gripping his arms and squeezing. “You can’t tell her. She can’t know. It’ll kill her, she’ll think it was her fault and—,”

Bow stopped her, placing his hands on her shoulders comfortingly. “Glimmer, it’s okay. I know Adora. And you’re right. But… How long do you think you can hide this from her? And how bad is it? Can I see?”

Sighing, Glimmer squeezed her eyes shut as she opened a bit of the robe to reveal the enormous bruise. Bow’s mouth fell open in shock.

“Glimmer—,”

“It’s fine!” She interrupted him, snapping the robe shut and hobbling back over to the loveseat. “It doesn’t even hurt that bad.” Her lie was made clear as she winced trying to lower herself ever so slowly onto the cushions. “And sure, maybe I can’t climb onto my bed… But you know what? Sleeping next to the window for once might be nice? I never use this thing anyway.”

“Glimmer,” Bow followed her, kneeling in front of the loveseat. “We should at least get a healer to look at it.”

“No, we can’t,” Glimmer denied him. “Because they’ll tell my mom and she’ll make a big fuss out of it and then Adora will find out and that can’t happen, Bow!”

Bow huffed through his nose, an irritated frown appearing on his face. “Glimmer, honestly, your health is more important than—,”

“Guys?” They both froze when they heard Adora’s voice through the door. “Are you in there?”

Exchanging worried glances, Glimmer quickly pulled a blanket over herself and Bow leapt to his feet.

“Why is the door locked?” Adora asked as the knob jiggled with her attempt to enter.

“Oh, uh, sorry!” Bow called as he hurried to the door. “Must have accidentally locked it behind me. Hang on!”

He cast a worried glance over his shoulder at Glimmer before opening the door for Adora, plastering a too wide smile on his face.

“Adora!” He greeted her too warmly, his voice cracking. “What brings you here?"

Adora’s brow rose curiously. “I—Just wanted to talk about the mission. We still don’t know what Catra and the others were doing in the Northern Reach and I’m worried that—Glimmer?”

“Hm?” Glimmer plastered a smile as wide as Bow’s onto her face, pulling the blanket up to her chin.

Adora glanced up to her hanging bed and then back to the loveseat. “Is… Are you okay?”

“Yes!” Glimmer’s voice was too high and a little shaky. Why was it so hard to lie when Adora was looking at her with those worried eyes? “So good.”

“Is there something wrong with your bed?”

“Um… Nope! Just thought I’d mix it up a little. Besides, I still need to recharge and climbing those steps on my own is so exhausting.”

Adora’s eyes narrowed and she glanced over at Bow, who just smiled and tucked his hands behind his back innocently.

“So…,” Glimmer tried to change the subject. “You were saying about Catra.”

Adora’s brows lowered further, but she continued nonetheless, beginning to pace the room. “I think they were after something up there. Something big… That piece of First Ones tech they found, the one that infects She-Ra… Maybe they’re looking to weaponize it. Or something like it—I think we may need to go back, just in case we missed something—,”

Adora sat down on the edge of the loveseat, jostling Glimmer just enough for her to whimper as another jolt of pain shot through her. Adora’s head snapped towards her immediately.

Damn it.

“Glimmer? Are you okay?” The concern shining in those bright blue eyes was unbearable. Glimmer had to look away, and that was her first mistake.

“Yeah! Just a little, um, sore… From, the fight with Catra. I’ll be fine though. Just need a little rest! But let’s get back to what you were saying. You’re right. We should definitely go back to check it—,”

Adora’s frown turned dark, almost terrifying. “She hurt you?”

Glimmer gulped, frozen as Adora tentatively reached forward and pulled down the blanket. Instinctually. Glimmer’s hands tightened on the robe, clutching it to herself like a lifeline.

“Glimmer…” Adora’s voice was soft as she rested her hand on Glimmer’s clenched ones. Realizing there was no use trying to keep up the façade at this point, Glimmer looked away as she opened the robe, allowing Adora to see the injury.

The blonde’s face was a mask of shock, a dozen different emotions passing over it at once. Anger, fear, confusion… guilt. Adora wasn’t stupid. It was obvious that Catra wasn’t capable of leaving such a large mark.

“This—This isn’t—,” Adora reached out, her fingers hovering just over the bruise before clenching into a fist. “Catra couldn’t—,”

“Adora,” Bow had come up beside her, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “When Catra infected your sword. She-Ra went beserk. Glimmer was doing her best to stop you, to bring you back—,”

The shock on Adora’s face was immediately replaced with agony. Her voice was breathless when she managed to find her words. “I did this?”

“Adora, it’s okay,” Glimmer tried, grabbing her hand and holding it against her chest. “I’ll be fine. And it’s not your fault! If Catra hadn’t—,”

“What do you mean it’s not my fault?” Adora pulled her hand away as if she’d been burned. “Of course it’s my fault. I did this to you. I—,” Her face scrunched up as if she was about to cry. “I hurt you…”

Ignoring the stabbing pain, Glimmer struggled into a sitting position. But the pain she knew was evident in her expression only seemed to make Adora shrink further into herself.

“It’s just a bruise, Adora!” Glimmer insisted, wishing for all the world she could just teleport into Adora’s arms and hold her, assure her it was okay. “Please, don’t blame yourself. I don’t. You couldn’t control yourself. And I got too close. It’s my own fault—,”

But Adora was shaking her head, eyes squeezing shut as if she were trying to block out Glimmer’s words. Glimmer knew that the guilt was only compounded by the feeling that they’d failed in the Northern Reach, and if they didn’t do something soon, Adora was going to lose it completely. Before she could say anything else though, Adora looked up at her with tears in her eyes.

“I—I’m so sorry…”

And then she was gone, bolting out the door as Bow and Glimmer looked helplessly after her.

“That went about as well as we could have hoped,” Bow sighed, turning back to Glimmer who was trying to struggle to her feet, obviously with the intent to follow Adora. Gently, he pushed her back down, pulling the blanket back up to her chin.

“Wait here and rest,” he insisted, continuing when Glimmer opened her mouth to protest. “Following Adora when you’re in so much pain isn’t going to make her feel any better. I’ll talk to her and bring her back. Just take it easy for a bit, okay?”

Frustrated, worried for Adora, but knowing Bow was right, Glimmer nodded reluctantly. “Please find her.”

Bow returned the nod solemnly before turning and hurrying after Adora.


Even with the Bright Moon guards sending him in the right direction, it took Bow over an hour to even find Adora. She’d vanished into the Whispering Woods and the place was still a maze to navigate. Eventually, he spotted her curled up by a small pool, sitting by the waters edge, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms locked around them.

Quietly, Bow approached her, taking a seat beside her, grateful that she didn’t bolt when she noticed him. They sat in silence for a bit, Bow finally speaking when he realized that nothing was forthcoming from Adora.

“Adora, Glimmer will be alright.”

Adora’s face hardened, her arms tightening around her knees. “It’s not about her being alright, Bow. It’s about me hurting her. I never—I can’t believe…. I’m supposed to protect her.”

Bow winced as Adora’s voice cracked and the tears she’d so obviously been holding back began to fall down her cheeks. Her shoulders shook with the force of her sobs, body beginning to tremble.

Very carefully, moving slowly to make sure that his touch wasn’t unwelcome, Bow slipped an arm around Adora’s shoulders, pulling her against his side. She was a tense, her entire body taught like a wire.

“Glimmer doesn’t blame you. And she knows you won’t do it ever again. It wasn’t your fault, Adora.”

“But She-Ra is supposed to protect people,” Adora whimpered, sniffing loudly and rubbing her nose with the back of her sleeve.

“We all make mistakes,” Bow continued, squeezing her shoulder. “We all fail sometimes. What matters is that we’re able to pick ourselves back up and do better next time. Besides, we’re the best friends squad. We’ve got each other’s backs no matter what. Glimmer knows you’d do anything to protect her and that you’ll never hurt her like that again.”

Adora nodded, sniffing again as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “I won’t. I promise. And I’ll learn to control She-Ra. I will be better.” There was steel in her voice.

Nudging her gently, Bow said. “Wanna head home and tell Glimmer that yourself?”

“Maybe… In a little bit,” Adora looked up at Bow, leaning into him again. “Can we stay here for now?”

Bow smiled and squeezed her again. “Whatever you need.”


Glimmer knew she should be resting, but she was too worried about Adora to even consider sleep. And Bow had been gone for a while now, it was getting dark outside. What if he couldn’t find her and she spent the night alone, lost, hurting? The thought made Glimmer’s stomach clench.

Suddenly, her bedroom door opened, and Glimmer whipped her head around to see Bow and a meek looking Adora entering. Relief washed over her in a cool wave as the two approached. Adora’s face was red, her eyes swollen, and she was still sniffling as if she’d been crying. Which, Glimmer assumed was the case.

“Adora,” Bow prompted, stepping back as Adora knelt next to the loveseat and Glimmer pushed herself up on one elbow to meet the blonde’s gaze.

“Glimmer—,” she choked on her words, her face scrunching again, but quickly steeled herself and tried again, resting a gentle hand on Glimmer’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry for what I did. I know you don’t blame me. But I feel awful and I promise you that I will never hurt you again.”

“Adora,” Glimmer put her hand over Adora’s and then let it slide up her arm to cup her cheek. “It’s alright, I promise you. I’ll be fine. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Adora’s bottom lip wobbled but she nodded and leaned forward until her forehead rested against Glimmer’s, letting her eyes slip shut. Glimmer felt her pulse flutter.

“What can I do to make it better?” Adora asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Out of the corner of her eye, Glimmer saw Bow smile and slip out the door quietly, leaving them alone.

“You can get in this bed and cuddle,” Glimmer insisted seriously. “Being this close to the window… I’m freezing.”

Adora’s eyes widened, but she nodded and, very carefully, slipped onto the loveseat, taking up her position behind Glimmer. It wasn’t as roomy as her bed, and it was still hard as a rock, but having Adora nestled behind her, one strong arm slipping around her waist, was enough to make Glimmer feel like she was floating on a cloud.

Sighing contentedly, she snuggled back into Adora’s embrace, smiling when she felt the blonde’s legs tangle with hers.

“Am I hurting you?” Adora asked, her arm loosening around Glimmer’s middle to avoid the bruise. Shaking her head, Glimmer reached down and laced their fingers together.

“No, you’re perfect.”

Glimmer chose the words purposefully, and they seemed to work. She felt Adora’s body relax and sink into hers, nose nuzzling into her hair. The room fell silent, as the two closed their eyes, basking in the warmth and serenity of the gentle embrace. It wasn’t long before Glimmer felt Adora’s breathing slow and she knew the blonde had fallen fast asleep.

Squeezing the hand that rested against her stomach, Glimmer sighed to herself.

This was perfect.

And someday… Someday she’d tell Adora how she felt. How this was literally all she wanted. She would.

But for now, this moment was enough.

Notes:

Thank you for reading!
All thoughts/comments are welcome.
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I'm @freezingmyblitzballs :)