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" What is this !? "
When Kageyama heard Hinata's alarmed voice calling – no, screaming – his name from the ground floor, he immediately thought this dumbass had set fire to the kitchen in his attempt at cooking. Or that he dropped the kinfe and accidentally stabbed his feet. Or that he fell from the stool while trying to grab something from the highest shelves. Or that he received a message from his coach saying he was fired from his team.
Well all kind of catastrophes.
He certainly didn't expect to find on their kitchen island, rolled up in what seemed hundred of blanket like a sushi, a tiny, sleeping drooling mess.
" You sure your mom send you the right receipe for the Katsudon ? " joked Kageyama nervously
"You cleary see it's not a katsudon Tobio ! It's...it's... it's a baby !
Yes it is. A baby was in their kitchen, napping comfortably in its pram, apparently not panicking as much as them.
" And what is it doing in our kitchen !"
" If only I know ! " answered Hinata.
" It didn't walk in here on his own... the hell, it can't even walk yet ! You didn't steel it right!?
"What the...Why the hell would I steel a baby Tobio ?! And stop talking about this baby like he's an object.
" He ? You know its sex?"
" I didn't check but he has a blue beanie "
" Well, whatever that's not the point, how the fuck did it came here ? "
" Arrrg... I don't know, someone rang at the bell but when I opened the door there was no one but this baby. I looked but there was no one around. I couldn't leave him alone in the cold. "
" So you're saying some irresponsible dickhead abandonned their baby at our door " summed up Kageyama.
"Well you can't possibly forget your baby by someone's doorstep by mistake, can you ?"
Kageyam didn't know much about parenting and he wasn't an expert when it came to taking care of children, but he could tell almost for sure that it wasn't something those parenting books would recommend.
" Does our house looks like an orphanage ! shout Kageyama for whoever left this child behind. We never know, maybe they are still here and can hear through the thick walls. " Not only they are irresponsible jerk, but they are so dumb they leave a baby in some stranger's house instead of the fucking orphanage."
Kageyama stopped suddenly
" But maybe... "
"Maybe what ?" said Hinata confused
Kageyama's gaze went from Hinata to the baby, back and forth for some seconds.
" Maybe it's one of your ex-girlfriend's, maybe it's yours !" he exclaimed.
Hinata blinked at him.
" Tobio, this baby mustn't even be one year old."
" Yes and ? "
" We are dating for almost seven years you dummy ! And neither of us ever dated anyone before anyway.
" Oh ,yeah "
But after some seconds Hinata's eyes went wide and he pointed an accusating finger to Kageyama
" Oh my... you cheated on me ! You cheated on me and this baby is yours !
Kageyama looked at him in disbelief. His eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to make sense of what Hinata just said.
"Think for a sec, to make babies you need a boy and a girl dumbass. " he finally answered.
" I know that bakageyama ! "
" But I'm as straight as your hair ! Even if I cheated on you it would be with a boy not a girl !"
" It's that supposed to reassure me ?!"
Kageyama placed his finger on his chin, thinking. Hinata was surprised by the sudden scary glare he put on him
" But you... you like girls too... " it was his turn to point an accusating finger to Hinata "You're the one who cheated on me ! " A hurt expression mixed with the scary one.
" Oh for God's sake NOOO ! I never cheated on you Tobio !"
He pouted
" ...Promise ?"
" Of course...and you ?"
" Never did and never would...dumbass " he added to feel less embarassed.
They sighed more because of their mutual idiocy than in relief. They never truly thought the other would cheat.
Suddenly, they were reminded that they were not alone by a shirek coming from the pile of blanket.
The baby was awake.
" Oh my god, oh my god " Kageyama panicked " It's crying "
He took a step back as if he was scared that the baby was going to explode.
" It's your fault for yelling like that " Hinata's voice hardly covered the baby's cries
" You're the one who yelled ! "
Hinata approached hesitantly, his arms reaching slowly.
" What are you doing ? whispered Kageyama with a worried voice. He made it seem he really thought this tiny human was a dangerous monster.
Hinata carefully put one of his slighlty shaking hand under the baby's head and the other on his butt. He has hold his little sister several times when she was a baby so he knew how to do it. He gently wrapped his arms around the small body and made his head rest in the pit of his elbow. He tightened his grip and pressed the baby against his chest. He hoped the baby couldn't feel his nervosity. But maybe he did because he didn't seem to calm down
" What do we do ? asked Kageyama, still three meter afar from him.
" He must be upset because we woke him up, but his diaper may be wet, he must be hungry too, he needs milk. "
Kageyama's scowl appeared again.
" I'm not giving my milk to this baby. "
It didn't even surprised Hinata. He just rolled his eyes
" Don't worry, babies don't drink the same milk as you, I have to run to the convenient store. "
"W-what ? No, what we have to do is go to the orphanage and get rid of this thing. "
" Don't talk about this child like that " scolded Hinata still trying vainly to calm the baby's cries "There's no orphanage in this city and the closest one must be at least eighty miles away. We can't leave him like that, we at least have to feed and change him. "
He walked to Kageyama.
" Take the baby "
" What ? Why ? I can go to the convenient store. "
" Do you even know what does baby's milk look like ? Or which diapers to buy ?
Not that Hinata knew a lot more than Kageyama, but he could call his mom and ask.
He handed him the baby, reluctantly Kageyama took him. If Hinata was a little nervous taking the baby in his arms, for Kageyama it looked excruciating. He hold him like he would hold a ticking bomb – his two big hands under the armpits letting the small legs hanging in the void. The baby may be small but he already had some strong personality : he started crying even louder making it clear he didn't like being hold like that.
"Why are you so tense, relax. If you hold him like this he's gonna fall" He took back the baby " Put your arms like me " Kageyama mimicked him, then carefully, Hinata placed the baby in his arms.
" And now, what do I do ? asked Kageyama clearly uncomfortable.
" You wait for me, I won't be long. Try to calm him down by singing a lullaby or rocking him – slowly " he added when he saw Kageyama moving his arms abruptly.
Hinata grabbed his wallet and his coat and got out of the house, leaving a helpless Kageyama alone with the tiniest but most troublesome and complicated human he's ever had to deal with.
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He did his best to be fast, but his mom wouldn't stop asking question because " why the hell would you need baby stuff Shoyo ". He had to persuade her that no, he and Kageyama didn't adopt without telling her. He made up a lie about babysitting the neighbour's child.
It should be ok, he left for only fifteen minutes, Kageyama can handle it.
…
Who was he trying to fool. He shouldn't have left him alone with the baby. Obviously something must had happen. Kageyama had drop the baby or threw it across the window., or he tried to shut him up with a cushion.. Oh god his boyfriend was a murderer.
" Tobio, don't do anything, I'm here ! Hinata exclaimed when he open te door, out of breath.
The first thing he noticed was the lack of screaming and crying. No Kageyama in sight, and he wasn't in the kitchen where Hinata left him. He really did kill the baby.
" Tobio ? "
" The living room !"
His bag in hand, Hinat walked into the living room to find Kageyama, sitting confortably on the sofa, the baby cradled and fast asleep in his arms. It didn't seem like he choked him.
Hinata was so dumbfound he forgot to move. Kageyama finally took his eyes away from the baby and meet Hinata's. There wasn't any panic or disgust on his face anymore.
" You managed to calm him down ? "
Kageyama smirked.
" I think I got the handle of it. "
He looked proud – not the volleyball-related kind of proud though. It was more like when, in their third year, he brought meatbuns for the first years for the first time. Or the time he got 84 points at a assignment without the help of anyone else. Or when he cleaned the whole house by himself some days after they start living together. Or the time he cooked for the two of them a real dish (it was onomiyaki, Hinata wasn't expecting Kageyama to be good at cooking – but he was).
" You should put him back in his pram, let's let him sleep for bit, he had a rouh day. "
" No, what if he wakes up if I move "
" You'll eventually have to go to the bathroom or eat something. "
Hinata brought the pram in the living room and put it on the coffee table, Kageyama just had to stretched out his arm to put the baby back in place. As if he just carried something worth a ton, he let out a relieved sigh and let himself sink in the sofa's cushion. When the baby had stop crying he barely even dared to breathe, scared of waking him up again.
He was a professional volleyball player who played against the strongest and scariest of opponent – and the person who frighten him the most was a tiny baby, who wasn't even in this world some month ago, can't even say a word or walk, and who can't do anything by himslef except from crying and sleeping.
Yeah pathetic.
Hinata sat next to him, putting the bag on his laps. Kageyama frowned.
" Why is the bag so big ?
Hinata averted his gaze, no answer. He tried to prevent Kageyama from opening it, but he had no trouble snatching it away from Hinata's grip.
" Why did you take such a big pack of diapers, there wasn't any smaller pack ? And what is that ? "
" That's the milk Bakageyama "
He took the can in his hands, and opened it. The powder that was inside looked like anything but milk.
" Is it baby coke ? " he asked with a serious tone.
" Kind of " laugh Hinata.
The diapers and the milk weren't the only thing in the bag. He turned it around and emptied it on the table.
" Shoyo ? What's all this ? "
Tiny clothes, a pacifier and a stuffed bunny and all sort of baby stuff. But that wasn't really the question.
" I-I thought a pacifier would maybe help him stop crying, and he didn't have any plushies to confort him and – and it's cold outisde and he didn't have any other clothes to change. When we gonna go to the orphanage, he have to at least have some things with him. " Hinata explained, not sure if he was trying to persuade Kageyama or himself.
If someone had told him yesterday they would bought baby stuff and had an actual baby in their living room, Kageyama would have probably asked them if they were high on drugs
But here he was, holding a stripped shirt he couldn't even fit a hand in, shoes too small even for Hinata's sister's dolls, and a bunny with a ridiculous smile stitched under its button eyes.
" It's cute right ? " said Hinata showing him a green sleepsuit with a frog faced hood.
It was. But that wasn't the point.
Their heads sprang up, alerted by a moan, like preys hearing the hunters approaching. The moans turned slowly into whimpers which almost instantly turned into cries. The baby's little legs and arms were wiggling into the pram
" What's happening now ? Do I have to hold him again ? " panicked Kageyama. But Hinata reached for the baby first.
" His diaper's full and he really need to be feed. Get me a clean towel and bring the trash can . " ordered Hinata
When Kageyama returned with the towel and the trash can, Hinata had already opened the pack of diapers. He took the towel Kageyama handed him placed it flat on the table and then laid the baby on his back.
" Sorry it's not really confortable but I couldn't buy you changing table. " Kageyama was surprised by the softness in his voice, as if he was really apologizing at a baby who coudn't understand a thing. Hinata unfastened his diaper and open it. Kageyama couldn't hide his disgust.
" His shit are no joke "
" Kageyama language "
How could this monstrosity come out of a so small body. Even if his nose was slightly scrunch up Hinata didn't flinch. He gently grasp the babys ankle and lift him, then he slide the diaper away. He asked Kageyama to hold his legs while he rolled the used diaper up, and throw it in the trash bag. He took a coton pads and soak it with what Kageyama assumed to be cleansing lotion.
" It's alcohool and chemical free, it just contains natural product like Aloe Vera, my mom said it was the best for baby skin. " he explained like it was a lesson.
Kageyama was glad Hinata refused for him to go to the store. He would have never thought of the lotion, or the coton and even less of what it would contains.
He meticulously wiped the baby from front to the back without forgetting to go in the folds of the skin. He was even more focused than he was during his exams back when they were in high school. After drying him with the corner or the towel, Hinata slide a clean diaper under the baby's butt. That's when Kageyama noticed something.
" Wait, why doesn't he have a dick ? "
Hinata was so concentrate he didn't even noticed it, more like he didn't pay attention to it. What was between the baby legs wasn't a penis, which means...
" Because she's a girl ! Kageyama the baby is a girl ! " he shouted " Oh sorry little girl we didn't know " he said then with a cute voice to the baby still whimpering.
Kageyama didn't seem to care. Hinata finished closing the diaper, then start dressing the baby with the stripped shirt, a pair of jeans and fluffy socks, which was not an easy task when said baby was wiggling and crying all around. She was the uncooperative type.
When he finally managed to dess her. He put her into Kageyama's arms.
" Can we give her the pacifier ? Maybe she'll calm down "
"Let's feed her first, then we'll see. I'll teach you how to make baby milk ". he said enthusiastically
They went to the kitchen, Hinata noticed how Kageyama was inconsciously rocking the baby slowly, how his grip was firm around her body. He couldn't help but smile at this view.
He filled the bottle with water and opened the can of milk formula.
" With this bootle two scoop should be okay " he murmured to himslef, he poured two scoop of milk into the bottle, put the cap on, and start shaking the bottle. Kageyama attentively watched him, trying to remember his every move.
He put the bottle in the microwawes and after 40 seconds he hold out his wrist and pour a drop of milk on it. " You have to check the temperature, if it's hot run cold water on the bottle for some second. " Hinata explained. " Alright, sit down. "
Hinata handed him the bottle "You give her "
" Me ? I don't know how to do it "
" Nothing complicated Tobio. "
He took a chair and sat next to him. " Put the teat near her lips. "
Kageyama did as say, when it was close enough, the little girl took it naturally in her mouth and started sucking.
" Tilt it a bit more " said Hinata.
The milk was going down pretty fast, she drank so quickly Kageyama was scared she would choke. Hinata advised him to take breaks and find a pace – just like with volleyball.
The poor child must have been so hungry. Kageyama understood her – after training, he always eat as much as a family of four people would, and obviously Hinata always compete with him to see who will finish faster, which always end up with the two of them having stomach ache.
Her so small hands were wrapped around the bottle, as if she wanted to do it by herself even though she couldn't even hold it. What an ambitious little girl.
Some minutes later, the bottle was empty and the baby fullfilled. Strangely Kageyama was too.
Hinata showed him how to burp the baby. In case the baby spit, he placed an apron over his shoulder because he didn't bought any bib. Once she was done, they went back to the living room.
She was much cuter when she wasn't crying. Now Kageyama could see the features of her face – she has big round brown eyes and her cheeks were so big it looked like she was keeping two apples in her mouth like an hamster. Her thick black hair was at ear lentgh.
Lacking of fun things to do, she was distracting herself by pulling at his shirt, her tiny fist clenching at the fabric. Kageyama gave her the bunny instead which she accept with a tootheless smile.
After some moments Hinata took her saying he wanted too play with her. He ran his fringer across his belly, tickling her, and for the first time since she was here, her laugh filled to room. Hinata laughed along with her and kept coming back for it. It was a wonder who was having the most fun.
" Oh wait, give me the blanket that are in the pram, she must be cold " he said, not stopping making her giggle.
Kageyama reached for the blanket and gave it to Hinata who wrapped the baby up. Then he noticed something in the pram. He went closer and saw it was a piece of paper.
" What's that ?" Hinata stopped his tickling and shifted closer to Kageyama. When he turned it over he found something written with black ink. The handwritting was sloppy, even more than Kageyama's, as if the person who wrote it was trembling.
" Naya, 18 april " Kageyama read aloud.
" That's all ? " Hinata asked, seeing Kageyama turning the paper over to see if something else was written.
He nodded.
" Well I guess it's her name and date of birth right ? " Hinata poked at the baby's belly button making her giggle again " so your name is Naya huh ? Na-ya ! " he sang with a stupid voice, poking again with each syllabe " and you're only – hum " he counted on his finger " Seven months old ! "
He picked her up and made her fly, including the sound effects. She confirmed with laughs.
*********************************************************************************
Sleep was not for today as it seemed.
A piercing sound came breaking into his peacful night, Kageyama first thought it was a siren, but then he remembered what was in the room with them.
He switched on the bedside lamp, his eyes still blurry with sleep, he had a hard time figuring out which number the clock hands were pointing at.
" It's not even four " he grumbled to himself.
Hinata shifted next to him, and hid his face into his pillow. It clearly wasn't in his intention to get out of the bed. Kageyama shook him up.
" You go... " Hinata growled.
" Go where dumbass ? "
" Feed her "
" At this time ? "
Right, he wasn't in the postion to say that. He was always the one to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a night-snack. But at least, when he did it, he was careful to not make any noise to not wake Hinata up.
" Babies need to eat even at night Bakageyama " Hinata mutter "even though I thought she would sleep through the night at this age. "
" You go feed her "
Hinata's eyes snapped open and the obscurity had nothing to do with how dark they were.
" Alright, alright I'll do it. " Kageyama got out of the bed and went downstairs. Okay, he saw Hinata doing it, it shouldn't be that hard.
Filling the bottle with water, pouring two scoop of powder, fourty seconds in the micorwave, checking the temperature on the wrist and...OUCH ! Too hot, too hot ! What did he said again for when it's too hot ? Ha, yeah, running cold water on it. Alright, now it's good.
When he went back in their room Hinata hadn't move a bit, seeming unbothered by all the crying.
Kageyama picked Naya up, sat at the end of the bed and gave her the bottle.
After some minutes he felt Hinata crawl behind him. He put his chin on his shoulder.
" She seems to like it, but I bet mine was better. "
" You wish. Did you forget I'm a milk expert ? "
Hinata chuckled, his breath brushing Kageyama's neck
" Okay I'll give you that. "
It was chimerical, the two of them feeding milk to a baby girl at four in the morning. Maybe in an alternate universe, he and Kageyama have accomplished more than just a volleyball carrer, maybe they have built something else together. Hinata wonder if alternate-universe-Kageyama and alternate-universe-Hinata were happier than them, if they fight more than them, if they loved each other more than them.
At this moment, he could taste a glimpse of this universe.
" We won't be able to bring her to the orphanage tomorrow, we have practice" said Kageyama quietly, snapping him back to reality. " Wednesday we have the afternoon off though, we could go then "
" We have to look for orphanages in the prefecture, I don't think there's one here. "
Kageyama nodded then sighed.
" The question is what are we going to do with her until then ? "
Hinata couldn't possibly ask his mother to come from Miyagi to take care of a child. And their friends were either living too far away or busy.
Naya finished the bottle, Hinata watched Kageyama pat her back gently to burp her, putting her back in the pram and giving her the stuffed bunny.
And as much as he loved the taste of this alternate universe, Hinata couldn't forget this was just a sweet illusion bond to come to an end. very soon.
**************************************************************************
" Are you sure you took her bottle, and the pacifier, and the blanket,do you have it ?
" Yes Shoyo I have everything, but I still think that's the worst idea you had in your whole life "
And that's saying a lot.
" You have a better idea ?, asked Hinata
No he didn't. But still, bringing Naya to their volleyball practice was way out of the line. Their coach would never let them enter the gym with a baby who could burst into cries at any moment. And Kageyama wouldn't blame her if she did – A little girl in the middle of scary-looking giants, able to chop off your head by spiking a volleyball at hundred kilometer per hour.
The pram was heavy in his hand and Naya's wiggling weren't helping, the jerk who abandonned her could have at least bring her in a stroller. Fortunately they were only fifteen minutes away from the gymnasium where their team practice. Usually they race each other to the gym as a warm up ( for now the score was 189-195 for Hinata, they update it on the magnet board on their fridge every day when they get home after practice)
" You explain the situation and I disclaim any liability with her " warned Kageyama
" Hey ! " protest Hinata, " did you forget : for the better or for the worst "
" Shoyo, we're not married. "
" And ? "
They arrived in front of the gymnasium, Hinata pouted at him before opening the door and stepping in confidently. And obviously all the rest of the team was already here.
" Coach ! Hinata yelled across the gym, if some of the guys haven't noticed them, now all the attention was on them.
Their coach, Kawamura san, start walking to them, the frown between his eyebrows, growing with each step.
" You're late you two, and what's that ? " He asked, his tone could sound menacing, but Hinata and Kageyama have learned it was just his usual way of talking.
Hinata bowed in greeting and apology.
" We're sorry coach, we have...hum...a little problem. "
Their coach glance down at Naya, busy playing with her feet " Yeah little "
" We-we have not choice but to take care of her, please let us take her with us just for today. "
" Guys, guys " he interrupted "This will not only bother everyone, it could also be dangerous, if you want to practice, you have to let her outside. "
Hinata and Kageyama looked at each other, not knowing what to do. Kageyama finally sighed.
" I'll go back home with her, don't worry " He turned to the coach and bend down " Allow me to skip practice for today, I'll take responsability and come earlier tomorrow to make up for...
" Wait Kawamura-san " shouted a voice.
Their manager Haruta-san jogged to them, gretting them briefly.
" It's okay, I can take care of it " he reached for the pram and Kageyama give it to him slighlty hesitant. " Don't worry I have three chidlren, I know how to handle a baby, I'll keep...hum "
" Naya " completed Hinata. "
" I'll keep Naya away from the court so she won't accidentally get hurt and if she start crying we'll go in the corridor to not bother the players, is that okay coach ?
Kawamura-san's eyes went from the manager, to Hinata and Kageyama, then to Naya, and finally pinch the bridge of his nose and let out a small grumble.
" Hurry up and go change "
Hinata smiled widely before thanking the coach and the manager. Kageyama gave Haruta-san Naya's stuff, thanked him at least three times and followed quickly Hinata in the changing-room.
**************************************************************
" Man, I didn't know you were parents. " one of their teamates said the moment they went back.
" Yeah, you could have told us. "
" Hinata and Kageyama have a babyyyy, so cuuuute! " teased another.
" Actually we are not... " tried to explain Hinata.
" But Hinata aren't you jealous Kageyama isn't only your daddy anymore. "
" DO YOU ALL THINK YOU'RE HERE TO GOSSIP ? GO BACK TO PRACTICE ! The coach yelled before Kageyama could crush his teamate's face and everyone could see Hinata's cheeks getting redder than his hair.
The afternoon went by smoothly, the rare times where Naya started to cry Haruta-san immediately took care of it. They couldn 't avoid comments such as " don't half ass it, don't you want to make your daugther proud ?" or " do it for your daughter ! " , Hinata noticed how Kageyama was always checking the directions of all the volleyballs that were flying across the gym. It was endearing to see him getting worried .
But overall, practice was the same as always. Lots of spike, and jumps, and block, a bit of annoyance and frustation, but much more of excitement and enthousiasm. And well, lot of sweat too.
When practice finished at 6 pm, Hinata and Kageyama were the first to showered and change. When Haruta-san went to gave them the baby back, they found Naya joyfully playing with a small volleyball, rolling it into her tiny hands.
" Thank you again Haruta-san, we're so so sorry for the bother, it won't happen again " said Kageyama bowing for what seemed the hundred time today.
" It was nothing, she was really nice, and slept well. I changed her diaper and feed her by the way so you don''t have to worry about it for now. "
" Let us offer you a drink one of these day " Hinata felt really bad, Haruta-san's job wasn't the one of a babysitter, they couldn't bring Naya again tomorrow.
They were about to take off, but while Hinata was checking if all of Naya's stuffs were in the bag, the other member of the team surrounded them.
" She is so cute "
" What's her name ? "
" How old is she ? "
" A future volleyball champion right ! "
Naya left her gaze , Hinata was scarred she'd pertubated by the sudden attention, but she actually seemed pretty pleased. She was smiling at them, her hands reaching to the faces that were leaning over her pram. The ones with longer hair had to fight against her to get back the strands she was pulling. An " aaawwwwww " accompanied her giggles when one of the guys start poking her on her belly.
" Oh that's right guys, I heard you talking with the manager and I was wondering, do you need someone to take care of her ? Asked Onoma, one of the middle blocker.
" Well yeah, or either one of us won't be able to come tomorrow " said Hinata " Why ? "
" My sister wants to earn some money for her university fees, she could come to your house and babysit her while you practice, what do you think ? She is used to taking care of children, we have two youger siblings.
Kageyama looked at Hinata, looking for approbation, only to find Hinata was doing the same thing.
" Well if she's okay with it, it would really help us " finally said Hinata.
" Cool, send me your adress, I'll text you this evening to confirm. "
When they finally start heading home Hinata let out a relieved sigh.
" Onoma is a life saver. " he pointed at Naya " She's fitting pretty well, everyone like her. "
" She likes being the center of attention " said Kageyama " If it continues she will become like Oikawa "
" She is just really sociable, you know, the thing you're not "
" Shut up, dumbass "
" Language Tobio ! Don't talk like that in front of her " scowl Hinata.
" Who cares, in two days she won't be around anymore "
For some seconds, only the sounds of their steps were filling the silence. Kageyama didn't notice the smile slowy fading from Hinata's face, or his eyes growing dimmer.
" Yeah right " he said, his voice heavy-hearted.
*********************************************************************
Naya was asleep.
Hinata was leaning over her pram, still humming the lullaby he sang her to sleep. It was the one his mother sang him when he was little, and later the one he sang to Natsu too.
" Stop looking at her, let her sleep, the past days have been rough" said Kageyama still typing on his laptop keyboard. Hinata leaned back and pressed his back on the sofa.
" That's true, being abandonned must be pretty stressing, and well, we're not a gift either " Hinata smirked.
Out of all people, Naya had the bad luck to be left at the worst people we could find to look after a baby. Nobody could blame them though. Actually Hinata found them pretty good considering they've never done that before and that the baby was thrown at them without any warning.
Kageyama put the laptop on the table and turned the screen toward Hinata.
" The closest orphanage are in Kyoto or Osaka " He switched pages to show him the different homepage of the two web sites. " It's like one hour away from here if we take the shinkansen, but maybe we should go by car 'cause taking public transport with a baby must be troublesome. What do you think ? "
Nothing. Hinata looked at the screen and fight back the urge to close all of the pages.
"The orphanage... yeah... hum Tobio ? " murmured Hinata, his eyes avoiding Kageyama's.
Kageyama, feeling something was off, closed his laptop. It was one of this situation where Hinata needed to talk for real. He learned to recognize it over the years.
" What the matter ? " he asked his voice as soft as he could.
" Well...I-it's just " he stuttered, hesitating. He was fidgeting nervously in his seat , and Kageyama knew him enough to know that it meant he was scared to say something. But he kept going " Do you think that's really what we should do ? Bringing her to an orphanage ?
"What do you mean? " But he had an idea of what he meant.
" You know, maybe it wasn't a coincidence if Naya's parents left her at our doorstep, maybe they wanted us to taky care of her. " Hinata started rambling.
Kageyama knew where this was going, and it would be a lie to say he wasn't expecting it from Hinata. He let out a heavy sigh.
" Shoyo... "
" We did pretty well until now ! And it wasn't as horrible as you thought right ? Naya is a lovely girl. "
" Shoyo "
" I'm not saying it will be easy everyday, but I'm sure we can do it, I'm sure we can make her hap...
" Shoyo ! " Kageyama interrupted more firmly.
He stopped, keeping his head down.
" Shoyo look at me. " Seeing he woudn't do it, Kageyama took his chin between is thumb and forefinger and raised his head. His watery eyes had a hard time locking into the blue ones.
" Have you even thought about it rationally, do you realise what it would imply ? "
" Of course " Hinata said almost defiantly.
" Then you do realise that we're two professional volleyball player who ran all around Japan all the time, that we sometimes aren't home for weeks ?
" We can find someone to take care of her when we're not here. "
" It's already a miracle we found someone to babysit her tomorrow. "
" Then we'll find time for her, I'm sure we can find an arrangement with the coach. "
Kageyama gripped his shoulder, he was tempted to shake him off to make him come back to his sense.
"You know as well as me the only way we could find time for her would be one us stopping volleyball. Is that really what you want ? "
No answer, Hinata tried to hide his face again but Kageyama didn't yield.
" You worked too hard, harder than anyone else to be where you're standing on the volleyball stage. You want all you efforts to come into waste ? You want to give up on your carrer ? "
Hinata shook his head, the lump in his throat making it impossible to talk. No. He didn't want to give up on his volleyball carrer, it would be the same as giving up on his life.
"Good" Kageyama sighed in relief. He took a look at Naya. " But most of all do you know why we can't keep her ? "
Hinata tilt his head, scared he would start sobbing if he opened his mouth.
" We are simply not ready Shoyo. "
It hurted Hinata how much all of this was true.
They weren't only professional volleyball player, they were also young. Young and longing for new experiences, young and ignorant, young and irresponsible, young and reckless. Young with all the life ahead of them. Young and absolutely not ready for such thing as parenting.
That's what a normal person would say, would think, and he knew it was true. So why couldn't he shake this idea out of his head.
Hinata took a look at Naya, still deeply asleep. She was here for only two days and yet she managed to completely meesed up with his mind.
" Hey Tobio ? "
" Hum ? "
" Does that mean you won't ever want a child ? " he asked quietly.
He didn't know where this desire for a family was coming from. Maybe it was here all along. But they never brought the subject up. Maybe he always inconsciously believed Kageyama would want a family too.
The question seemed to have shaken Kageyama. Hinata too when he realised how much the answer to this question was important for him, how much it could change everything.
" I've never huh...thought about it. " he admitted
" Well I'm asking you to think abour it now ! Hinata snapped, his voice harsher than intended.
Since they were dating – no, since they known each other, Hinata always thought they were looking in the same direction walking on the same path. Now he was scared to find out that it wasn't and never been the case. For the first time, he was questionning his future with Kageyama.
Kageyama's eyes were wide, flustered by the sudden outburst of his boyfriend. His face was painted with distress. Finally he spoke, his tone careful.
"When our lives will become calmer, in some years, we'll talk about it again, what do you think ?
It wasn't the answer Hinata wanted, but it wasn't the one he was scared to hear either. If they were on the same path, they weren't walking at the same pace.
The " Yeah " Hinata murmured left a bitter taste in his mouth.
***********************************************************************
Onoma's sister was in the entrance, Naya in her arms, listening to Hinata repeating for the fourth time that her bottle was in the fridge, the diapers in the bathroom, the rest of her stuff in a bag under the coffee table – and oh if something happens our numbers are written on the fridge. But she seemed trustworthy, Hinata wasn't worried...not that much.
Kageyama came down the stairs with their sport bags and gave his bag to Hinata.
" Thank you again Onoma-san " he said " Sorry to have called you last minute. "
" It's nothing, I had nothing scheduled for today anyway. "
" We''ll be here around three pm " informed Hinata " until then make yourself at home, if you're hungry take something from the fridge. " He took his keys, and opened the door.
Kageyama passed by Onoma san to get to the door.
" Well then, have a good..."
Small whinings interrupted him, Hinata turned to Kageyama and followed his gaze. Naya was twisting around in Onoma san's arms, whimpering, her arms reaching in Kageyama's direction.
" Seems like she doesn't want you to leave " said the young girl " They will be back soon don't worry little Naya, today is girl's day " she added for Naya with a funny voice, but that didn't confort her.
Hinata felt his heart ripping a bit seeing Naya's face all scrunched up in a pained grimace, deseperately reaching for Kageyama. And even more when Kageyama walked away and went outside, his face expressionless, without even turning back to the baby girl.
After waving goodbye one last time and wishing good luck to Onoma-san, he catched up to Kageyama. They didin't race to the gym.
Usually, when there was a silence between them, it was a peacful and confortable one, because sometimes words are unecessary, even superflu, and each other presence was more than enough. But now the atmosphere was so heavy Hinata was sure he would crumble any second.
Finally Kageyama's voice broke the silence.
" Hinata... " He rarely used his family name anymore, only when they argued " Are you mad ? "
The atmosphere didn't felt lighter on his shoulder. What was he supposed to answer ? He wasn't mad. He felt dumb. Not the I-can't understand-this-text kind of dumb. Dumb to got attached to a baby, dumb to have thought they could kept her, dumb to still think about it, dumb to make Kageyama worried.
" No, I'm not, Tobio, Why would I be ? " He was the one in the wrong after all.
" You've barely talked to me since yesterday "
" I just need to get my shit together "
Kageyama didn't seem convince, he kept looking at him with a concern look. Hinata felt his familiar, big calloused hand grabbing his, perfectly fitting together like the last two piece of the same puzzle, sending this comforting warmth in all his body, as if he was holding a cup of hot cocoa in front of the fireplace.
" Shoyo, you know that I love you, right ? "
It was rare to hear those words from his mouth, and most of the time, when he did say it, it was because Hinata said it first. But as uncommon as it was for Kageyama to express it with words Hinata never doubt his love – at least not since their first year of dating. It was showing with every of his movements, of his glances, of his actions, of his little attentions – and Hinata wouldn't want it any other way.
For him to say it clearly, he must be really anxious.
" Please Shoyo, tell me you're not thinking about... about " he couldn't managed to say those words.
Hinata was guessing what was the end of the sentence. And no. He wasn't thinking about it, he never thought about it, he didn't want to think about it. Nobody would think about knocking out the Earth of its orbit.
What if there was an alternate universe where he and Kageyama had never met ? What is this Hinata doing ? Is he playing volleyball ? Is he even happy? It's probably the worst of all the alternate universe Hinata could imagine – no actually he couldn't even imagine it.
Hinata squezzed his hand back.
" Idiot, you won't get rid of me this easily "
So even if there was an Alternate-universe-Kageyama and an alternate-universe-Hinata with their family of their own, Hinata wouldn't want to be in any other place than this universe.
Their universe.
*******************************************************************
They raced each others on the way back home. 190 – 195.
******************************************************************
Naya couldn't walk but she sure knew how to crawl.
Since they came back, she was more lively than ever, Hinata almost lost sight of her more than once. But now, stuck in a corner, she couldn't escape anymore. Hinata looked at her mischievously, growled playfully and swoop swiftly on Naya as she started giggling.
" Gotcha " he exclaimed, raising her at his eyes level. " Wanna go for another round ? I'll catch you even faster this time ".
More giggling. He put her back on her hands and knees on the floor, and she started crawling away. When she was two meter away, she turned around to see if Hinata was following her.
" She's fast, I bet you can't catch her Tobio "
" Well tried but I won't go on all four and roar like an idiot to chase a kid and make a fool of myself. You could record it and use it against me "
" Do you really think I could do that ! said Hinata falsely offended. " But actually it's better if you don't do it, you would totally make her cry with you scary looking face "
Kageyama glared at him as Hinata poked out his tongue. So childish. Naya clearly wasn't the only kid in this house. No wonder they get along so well. Hinata got back on his knees and chased Naya, he disappeared in the corridor while growling like the dumbass he is.
But that's how Kageyama love his boyfriend - childish and dumb. Lively and happy.
He hoped this happiness would not flatter.
*****************************************************************************
" Tobio ! Come here ! " screamed Hinata from the bathroom.
8 second. Hinata lasted 8 second before cracking at Naya's crying and asking for help. Kageyama thought he would last less.
Hearing both of their screams, Kageyama was guessing that Naya was one of those kids who doesn't like bath time.
" What the matter ? " he asked while entering the bathroom, slightly annoyed by all the fuss.
Naya, like the fighter she was, was doing everything in her power to escape Hinata's grip. He seemed to have a hard time holding her in place as she was squirming around to avoid the water as if it was lava.
" Don't stay here like an idiot ! Help me ! "
Kageyama was tempted to stay still and watch to see who will win, but he took pity over his desperate boyfriend and crouched down in front of the bathtub. His jumper was cover with water marks and droplet were dipping off his chin.
" Hold her while I wash her, be carefull with her head. "
" Don't look at me like that, I'm not gonna drown her " said Kageyama seeing how Hinata was glaring at him.
One of his eyebrows raised and Kageyama almost felt offended.
" Just how horrible do you think I am " he grumbled.
But he knew Hinata was just messing with him. If he really did think he was horrible, even if it was just a one percent horrible, he wouldn't be here with him, squatting down in the bathroom, damped with water, trying to get clean a little demon who liked the idea of water as much as Kageyama liked the idea of staying on the bench during a match.
As a confirmation, Hinata gave him one of his soft smile that still makes his heart warm up with affection, and send to his body a flood of happiness, as if he just took his daily amount of drugs his body was craving for.
Maybe Hinata was his drug, if so, it was to late for him, he was much too addicted.
Kageyama proped Naya's small head in the palm of his hand, and maybe it was because his hands were bigger and felt safer, but her whining ceased and they could immerse her body in the warm water without to much bother.
As she realised that she didn't hate water as much as she thought, Naya started wiggling her arms playfully, splashing the two men, and laughing everytime water got on their face. Hinata massaged her head with soap, being extra careful so that it won't go in her eyes. Kageyama had to hold her firmly – not because she was desperate to go out of the water like earlier – but because she was so excited and wanted to swim already. Naya was definetely ambitious, but Kageyama knew better than anyone how to deal with people who wanted to jump the gun.
The ring of the doorbell, made them spring in surprise. They looked at each other.
" I'l go open the door " said Hinata as he stood up.
" Huh ? Wait I can go... "
" She likes it better when it's you, you wouldn't want her to cry again, right ?
As uncomfortable as Kageyama was, he couldn't argue. A second ring.
" Just wash the soap off her head, dry her and dress her, and don't forget the diaper ! " he exclaimed from the staircase.
Hinata rushed to the door as a third ring resonnated in the house. When he opened it, he found Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Yachi waiting at the doorstep.
" Man ! Finally ! For a sec we thought you were dead. " said Yamaguchi.
" Guys, What are you... ?
" We send you at least a hundred of messages and we called you, but you never answered " interrupted Yachi, her voice betraying her worry.
His phone was on silent mode and he didn't touched it since yesterday night, he usually answered every messages as soon as he could and never leave someone without answers more longer than half a day (and half a day is the maximum because of volleyball practice).
" Ha sorry, we were a bit, hum... busy " he said for lack of other explanation.
" So are you and Kageyama ready to go? Did you just got out of the shower ? Your hair's still wet " noticed Yamaguchi.
" Go ? Go where ? " asked Hinata completely lost as to what they were talking about.
" Oh my, Hinata ! It wouldn't have surprised me from Kageyama, but from you. ! You're each as bad as the other !
" We planed to meet with everyone to eat at this new restaurant that open a few days ago remember ? Said Tsukishima, exasperate.
Ha yes, they talked about it two weeks ago, and normally, Hinata would have never forget a gathering with his friends where they could eat good food and laugh all night long, and even maybe go to a karaoke, but they were not in normal times.
" Ha shit, I totally forgot. Hum... sorry guys but we can't...
" SHOYO ! HELP !
Kageyama, soaked with water, appeared at the top of the stairs, holding a crying and naked Naya by her armpits, there was still soap in her hair.
" She peed in the bathtub, i haven't finish washing her, what do I do ?! "
" What the... For fuck's sake Tobio, cover her, she'll get cold !" shouted Hinata.
He returned in the bathroom, Hinata was about to face his friends and all the questions they probably had, but not even five second later, Kageyama screamed again.
" SHOYO ! HER BLADDER WASN'T EMPTY !
*******************************************************************************
By the time Kageyama finally got out of the bathroom, clean from the urine and changed in clean clothes, his wet one already turning in the washing machine, Hinata had taken care of Naya and already finished explaining the situation to their friends. Naya was sleeping in her pram, not bothered or feeling guilty in the slightest by what she made Kageyama endure.
"They should have called this girl Satan " groaned Kageyama as he sat in the sofa next to Yamaguchi.
" Poor girl, that's not the best house for a baby to stumble in, said Yachi who was crouching next to the pram looking tenderly at Naya.
" Hey, we're doing our best ! " protest Kageyama defensively " It's not like we asked for it. "
" What are you going to do with her ?" asked Tsukishima, sitting at the opposite of the little girl.
Kageyama was about to answer but Hinata forestalled him.
" We're gonna bring her to an orphanage. " His tone was blunt, not letting any dumb feeling be seen. " You should go or the other will wait. Sorry we can't go out tonight, I know we can't meet very often but maybe next...
" We texted Nishinoya and Tanaka, they're on their way with Ennoshita and Sugawara " announces Yamaguchi. " Daichi and Asahi can't make it because of work ".
Ten minutes later, the living room was filled with four other people and take out that their friend bought on their way. Sugawara and Nishinoya almost cried at Hinata for not telling him about their adoption when they saw Naya, so Hinata explained again. After being introduce to everyone, Naya was put in the bedroom so that the noise wouldn't bother her in her sleep.
That wasn't the gathering they planned for, but it wasn't less fun nonetheless. They laughed, they enjoyed their food even if they weren't in a restaurant, they drank and talked and had fun. It was refreshing to see them, even for Kageyama. Their lives all took different paths and it was more and more difficult to make these paths cross again even for just an evening. Hinata wouldn't have liked to let this occasion pass.
Every time Hinata would try to go see if Naya was doing fine, Kageyama would stop him and go check on her himself to reassure him. The less time Hinata spend with Naya, the better, no need for him to get attached to the little girl more than he already is.
When they heard Naya crying because it was time for her to eat, he did the same thing – " stay here I'll handle this " he said. Hinata tried to protest but Kageyama was already heading to the kitchen to prepare the bottle.
Kageyama had always been a fast learner. Now all of his movement have become instinctive and Naya's body found its place naturally in his arms. The sensation of her head in the crouch of his arm no longer felt uncomfortable, and he got used to Naya's drinking pace, letting her take a break exaclty when she needed it.
" What a lovely view ", a snarky voice Kageyama knew to well. He didn't even bother to turn around and let Tsukishima sat next to him. He looked at Naya and she smiled back before returning to her bottle.
" We directly notice she is not yours, she's way too cute. "
" I thought you didn't like children "
" Well, she peed on you, she earned my utmost respect. " he said with a smirk that has become less and less arrogant and more and more joking throughout the years.
" Bastard " he whispered with the same smirk on his lips.
He lower his gaze again on Naya, she was half way through her bottle.
" I thought you didn't like children either " point out Tsukishima after a moment of silence. " So, what's your excuse ? "
" Shoyo began to think we could keep her, we even argue about it. "
" That's...well, it doesn't surprise me that much from him "
" I managed to convince him we couldn't do that, but until we put her to the orphanage, I'd rather he didn 't spend too much time with her. The more he get attached..."
" The more it will be hard for him to leave her " completed Tsukishima.
" And I don't want to see him like that, 'cause I know I will be responsible for his saddness. Just thinking about it is already hard to handle "
Kageyama didn't know why he was confiding to Tsukishima, especially when he came here just to make fun of him in the first place, but he had to let out his worries. Strangely though, it seemed like Tsukishima was seriously listening to him.
There was no milk left in Naya's bottle when Tsukishima talked again.
" And you ? "
" Me ? " said Kageyama questioningly while patting her back hoping she won't vomit on his shoulder.
" Aren't you scared to get attached? "
" She peed on me " remind him Kageyama as if he could ever forget. Fortunately she burped without anything else coming out of her mouth.
" Yet here you are, rocking this baby and putting her to sleep with so much care it makes me wanna puke. "
Kageyama stopped his motions, embarrassed by Tsukishima comment and looked at Naya who was staring at him as if to tell " What are you doing ? Keep going. "
" I think you still don't realise in what mess she put you in man" He poked gently at her feet " Good job little devil " he said sneakily before leaving the room.
Kageyama found himslef alone again, straring angrily at the door, Naya still in his arms. He looked down again at her, her big brown eyes looked back questioningly
He clicked his tongue and started rocking her again slowly, not letting her feel his annoyance through his movements
" Bastard, bastard, bastard " he murmured for himself.
*******************************************************************************
" You're not coming to bed ? "
It was nearly 2 am. Hinata has changed in his old sweat pants that he uses as a pajamas but Kageyama hadn't move from the living room since everyone left 30 minutes ago. His face soften seeing Hinata's head poking out of the wall.
" Don't wait for me, go ahead "
" Are you feeling ok ? " asked Hinata, a hint of worry gleaming in his pupil.
Kageyama stood up and walked up to him, put his hands on Hinata's shoulders and pressed his lips on his forehead. Forehead kisses were his favorite type of kisses, it was the one that carry the most affection and fondness while being the most tender and soft one. This simple act was the embodiment of his feelings for Hinata.
" Yeah, don't worry, I'm coming in a minute. "
Hinata didn't insist. He took a step back, and after a moment of hesitation went on his tip toes to leave a light kiss, yet full of adoration, on his lips before going up the stairs to go to their room.
He could almost taste Hinata's concern on his lips, the question he unintentionally let show : 'Together, always, right ?'.
Hinata has never been good at hiding his emotions, but he has always trusted Kageyama, since the very beginning. This time won't make exception.
********************************************************************
If there's only one scientific fact Kageyama remebered form his science class, it's that while like poles repel, opposite attract eachother irresistibly. On the contrary, some think similar are bond to get closer and opposite to hurt each other.
Hinata and Kageyama were not made for stereotype and normality, neither of them were made to fit in boxes, so was their relationship – they are polar opposite, but also so alike. They could be the perfect match or the worst combination. Sometimes, like now, Kageyama was scared, scared because no matter how you look at it, there was always a risk they could repulse one another.
So he liked to think that they found the ideal compromise. They created their own physic no one else can understand, achieved but more importantly that no one can refute or destroyed. An equation so complexe yet so simple for the both of them. They found eachother and Kageyama still believed it's a miracle.
However, the perfect balance always come with the greatest fragility – the slighest change could ruin everything.
Wouldn't it be too much risk to add an unknow to this perfect equation ?
****************************************************************************
" I'm not gonna kill her, Shoyo !
" You're not even believing in what you just said "
" Just go, if you're late the coach will be even more mad at us "
" Why are you the one staying here. " Hinata complained. "You're having fun sending me to my death, aren't you "
" Don't worry I will get twice his anger when I'll go tomorrow. " Kageyama leaned down to kiss his cheek. " See you later "
Hinata gave Naya one last sorry look before stepping outside and closing the door.
" Now it's only you and me shrimp " he said looking down, where Naya was sitting, inspecting with keen interest the TV remote as if it was something coming from another dimension. She didn't even paid attention to him.
Kageyama let out a heavy sigh and crouched down next to her. " You're not even listening, must be nice to be so ingenuous. "
He took the remote from her small hand, when he noticed how she was looking at him like he just steeled her candy, he pointed at the red button, then at the TV. When the black screen suddenly came to life, she let out a surprised noise.
Cautiously, she crawled to the TV, like an wild animal dreading when being confronted to the unknow. Warily, she raised her small hand and touched the screen. Seeing there was no danger, she watched what was going on in the screen : volleyball. That was nearly the only thing they watched on TV. Sometimes Hinata would watch cartoons and anime on morning, or they'd have a movie night where they'd watched movies they already know all the quotes of.
After some minutes Naya turned to Kageyama and laughed, showing him her toothless smile for the umpteenth time since she was here.
" Cool right ? I think it's french national championship, they're pretty good. " She started knocking excitedly on the screen while babbling euphorically.
Knowing Hinata would scold him for letting the little girl this close of the television, he picked her up, ignoring her protesting and sat her down on the couch where she couldn't hurt her eyes. When she noticed she could see the screen in its entierty, she stopped moving he got absorbed by the match that was playing before her eyes.
Good, he found something to distract her. Volleyball saved him once again.
At least he enjoyed a ten minutes break.
Because Naya was a fine observant, she noticed that – hey, the ball on the shelve, it's the same that the one in the TV ! She almost fell down the couch, fortunately Kageyama had good reflex.
"Wow, wow, calmed down ! " he said. " What do you want ? "
Her wagging hands answered him.
" You wanna play ? Can't blame you ".
He put Naya down on the ground and took the ball twice as big as her head to put it in front of her. Like the remote later, she proceeded to examine the object. Kageyama kicked it gently and the ball rolled a meter away. She laughed again and followed the ball.
Kageyama watched her roll the ball all around the room, gigling every time, never getting tired of it. Kageyama smiled every time, never getting tired of it.
After she done the rounf of the room, she came back at his feet and he lost his smile. He sat her up on his laps, abandonning the ball.
" Seriously what am I doing. I almost didn't sleep the whole night and now I'm talking to a a baby who don't understand a single thing of what I'm saying" Her eyes confirmed the last part.
Only half a day to go. Half a day and she will be gone, and hopefully Kageyama will come back to his normal state. This afternoon their life will come back to normal.
" I know what I have to do, do you hear that, I know what's best for us and... " He pointed his finger to the baby girl " that doesn't include y... "
The word stayed stuck in his throat as he watched he forefinger getting wrapped with smaller, miniature fingers. He never noticed how small her hand was compared to his. Her grip was surprisely firm for a human who looked so fragile.
Her hold left him a similar feeling than Hinata's – Warm, reassuring, unyielding, like it was meant to be even if it wasn't.
Even though he only had to pull his finger out for her to let go, he could bring himslef to do it. Maybe she casted a spell and frezzed him, at least Kageyama was trying to convince himself that was the case.
" What are you trying to do... " he murmured " You're not gonna change my mind, I won't fall for your trap. I won't. "
He won't...He can't.
********************************************************************************
It's in a heavy silence that they installed Naya and her things in the car, sat in the front and closed the door. Since Hinata came back from pratice neither of the two could break it.
" You sure you don't want me to drive ?" aks Hinata He known Kageyama didn't like to drive.
It was the moment to slip a joke about Hinata's shitty driving, but it didn't came out.
" No it's okay "
Kageyama was too scared Hinata would burst into tears in the midle of the road. He could see he was already holding back his emotions. Kageyama stared at him, seaching for something comforting to say, hesitated putting his hand on his knee, but he didn't know if it was the right thing to do – it was even more unsettling that it was rarely the case anymore.
So he did nothing.
"Tobio, you have to... hum.. turn the ignition on. "
Kageyama finally realized several minutes had passed since they got in the car and he didn't even touch the keys. Hinata excpected him to say something along the line of ' I know how a car work dumbass '
" Oh yeah, sorry. " was all that came out of his mouth and the mood didn't lighten.
Kageyama started the car and took the road.
Hinata turned on the radio and a song none of the two knew filled in the car.
***********************************************************************************
50 kilometers left.
Kageyama was trying his best to forget where he was driving to, why he was driving there, to keep his composure. He would have never imagine it would find it hard to keep his feet on the pedal.
It was even more difficult as Naya was crying louder as they got closer of their destination. It was like she knew exaclty where they were going. Hinata was doing his best to calm her from his seat, Kageyama didn't dare to look at him, but he knew he was also in the verges of tears.
45 kilometers
The saddest was to think she will grew up and forget about them in no time, she won't have any memory of the last three crazy days – unlike them. How can such a small creature turn completely their world upside down ?
What will happen next ?
Arguments, tears, worries, heartache, greif, guilt and feeling of lack – all of this was coming for the following days. And the discussion about their future wasn't finished yet, long questionning night was awaiting them, Kageyama was sure of this.
In spite of this, he was sure they will get through this. As long as they are together, they would get through the end of the world.
40 kilometers
They choose a good orphanage, Hinata called and asked countless of question, he stayed almost 2 hours on the phone. They knew Naya will be perfectly taken care of, like all of the kids there. She will have a roof over her head, a bed to sleep in, food in her plate, clothes and correct education, and probably other children to grew up with... Yes she will probably have a better in this orphanage than with them.
The only thing she won't have is parental love.
" Tobio why are slowing down ? " he heard Hinata say.
Abruptly, the car changed direction and Kageyama entered a rest area.
" Huh ? Why are you stopping ? We took a break just 30 minutes ago. "
The car stopped, Kageyama opened the door and stepped outside, ignoring Hinata's question.
" Tobio ! " he kept calling as the boy was walking farther away from the car, Hinata got out of the car and ran after him.
They were almost the only one in the rest area, only two other cars were parked a least twenty meter from them.
Kageyama finally stopped and Hinata faced him. He haven't even had the time to ask what was going on.
" I can't do this. ? Kageyama murmured, his face hidden in his hand.
" What do you mean ? If you're tired I can drive. "
" I'm not talking about this Shouyou... I'm talking about her. "
He thought Hinata would be surprised, say something like 'Are you kidding me !', but he stared at him understandingly.
" Let's talk about this in the car, we can't let her alone "
They went back to the car, Naya was starting to whimper but stopped when she saw them again. They sat in the back, next to her.
To think he believed Hinata would be the first to break down.
" I still think what I said last time " Kageyama said.
" You were right " Hinata admitted with a small voice.
" But I can't bring myself to drive to the orphanage, I don't want to abandon her, Shoyo, I can't do this " he repeated.
They truned their gaze to the baby girl. " I'm sure she doesn't want either " said Hinata.
" But we can't, it's impossible...we can't make her happy. "
" Tobio "Hinata took his hands in his own. He is never one to call anything impossible " Aren't we happy ? "
What was this question ?
There was so many thing Kageyama wanted to say to answer this.
Some years ago he would have hesitated – not because he wasn't sure of his feelings, but because he wasn't sure if Hinata was really happy with him
It didn't felt natural, why would a boy like Hinata would have wanted to be with someone like him ? Hinata was giving everything he was lacking of, filling all the gaps he had in his life and offering him much more. How could Kageyama live up to all of this ? In his eyes, Hinata deserved much better , someone like him, that would brighten up every second of his day just by being here, someone who would make him a better person. Kageyama wasn't this type of person, if anything, he was the storm cloud that blocked the sun and annonced rain.
Some day Hinata would have realised this, and he would have left. And Kageyama wouldn't have held him back, because he wanted the best for Hinata, and that wasn't him. That is what he thought
But today, this sort of thought doesn't cross Kageyama's mind anymore. Today nothing feels more natural than the two of them together. Today, Hinata was still giving everything he needed but now he knew he was doing the same for him. Now he knew he was the best person for Hinata. Now he was sure they're the happiest when they are together.
Now the answer was so obvious they never cared about asking.
" We are. "
Hinata smiled " So there's no reason we can't make her happy. "
Happiness is contagious Kageyama ! He said one day, and Kageyama thinks it's true.
" But what are we going to do with volleyball, we c... "
" We'll find a way " Hinata cut him resolute " We always find a way "
That was true, it was not always the best, but not matter the problem, they always find a way.
" Do you think you're ready for this? " Asked Kageyama.
" Young doesn't mean not ready, I think I am, and even if I'm not, I'm willing to learn if it's with you " he stopped "Now, I understand if you're not, I'll accept it if you want to keep driving to the orphanage, it's your decision."
It was a decision too huge to be taken in the back of a car in the middle of nowhere – but they never do anything like everyone.
He wasn't ready, but he wasn't either three days ago, and yet, he managed to do it, maybe not right, with a lot of mistake, but he managed to do it. He wasn't a genius at this like with volleyball, but like volleyball, practice makes it better. Hinata makes it better.
" As long as we're together, we're invincible. "
Hinata nodded, a fond smile on his lips, and their future in his eyes. He nestled against his chest, Kageyama arms wrapping around him.
" It won't be easy. "
" I know. "
" I won't be the best. "
" Me neither. "
" I'll do a lot of mistake. "
" Me too. "
" I'm counting on you. "
" Me too. "
Over the red curls, Kageyama looked at Naya who was pouting because they weren't giving her any attention. Following his gaze, Hinata turned around and carried her and sat her on his laps. She offered them a big smile.
" We're going to do our best, " said Kageyama to the little girl.
" Yes, we promise " completed Hinata.
Unaware of what just happened, Naya started fidgeting with Hinata's shirt, blabbering happily under Kageyama's and Hinata's eyes.
" Let's go home ? " said Hinata.
" Let's go home. "