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Wei Wuxian has a plan. It is a good, if childish, plan and it would work beautifully, if only Lan Zhan could play along. But even though Wei Wuxian has dropped hint after hint that he needs something from the storage room, Lan Zhan finds ways and reasons to put it off.
How dare he even suggest Wei Wuxian goes to get the vacuum himself. What an unreasonable husband he has!
But eventually, finally, after a lot of prodding and increasingly exaggerated pouts, Lan Zhan heaves out a sigh and goes to get Wei Wuxian the vacuum.
Maybe he does have the best husband.
Wei Wuxian can’t help the manic smile that spreads out on his face as he silently makes his was to the storage room as well.
Lan Zhan just vanished inside when Wei Wuxian janks the door open, swiftly locking it and then he stumbles in after Lan Zhan, the door closing behind him with an audible click.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says and Wei Wuxian can hear the fond exasperation in his voice and it makes him shiver, just like it has for the last fifteen or so years.
“Lan Zhan,” he gives back, trying for serious but utterly failing when he’s faced with Lan Zhan’s wonderful smile.
“What are you doing?” Lan Zhan wants to know and Wei Wuxian pretends to think about it, before he finally settles on “Nothing.”
But his husband knows him too well for that, so he gently shakes his head.
“Try again.”
Wei Wuxian takes a step back, until his back hits the door and he plays surprised when it doesn’t immediately open.
“Oh no, Lan Zhan, the door’s locked,” he says and watches the amused twitch in the corner of Lan Zhan’s mouth.
“Whatever will we do,” Lan Zhan gives back and takes a step forward. “You should move away so I can kick the door down,” he says and while that in itself would make quite the picture, Wei Wuxian does love it when Lan Zhan uses his strength, he had a plan goddamit.
And kicking this door down was not part of it.
“...or we could make out…?” he tries and then curses himself, because this whole thing had been a lot smoother in his head.
Lan Zhan presses his lips together and Wei Wuxian knows, he just knows, that he’s laughing at him.
“Did you plan this to finally fulfill your fantasy of making out in a locked closet?” Lan Zhan wants to know and Wei Wuxian blushes.
He was right. This was something Wei Wuxian has wanted to do ever since he laid eyes on Lan Zhan in school, and he was still mad as hell that Lan Zhan never indulged him back then.
But now his time has come.
“And if I did?” he cheekily asks and Lan Zhan takes another step closer, effectively trapping Wei Wuxian against the door.
“Then we better make the most out of it,” Lan Zhan whispers right before he dives in to claim Wei Wuxian’s lips in a bruising kiss.
Wei Wuxian groans into it, throws his hands around Lan Zhan’s neck and just holds on for dear life.
He thinks it’s a good thing when Lan Zhan slides his hands down and just picks him up, urges Wei Wuxian’s legs around his waist, because his knees have gone a little bit wobbly and he’s not yet ready to break the kiss.
They have to eventually, both of them breathing harshly and both of them being painfully hard, but instead of separating, Lan Zhan keeps him pressed against the door and doesn’t even let him down.
The soft and careful way Lan Zhan rests their foreheads together steals Wei Wuxian’s breath just as much as the passionate kiss had.
“Does that satisfy you, Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan asks and Wei Wuxian shivers when he hears how rough Lan Zhan’s voice is.
“Not quite,” he says and arches up, presses his hard cock against Lan Zhan’s body.
“Not here,” Lan Zhan admonishes and Wei Wuxian has to admit that maybe being fucked in a closet is not the best idea.
He does love it so, being fucked against a wall, but only if there’s a bed for them to fall into afterwards.
The bedroom is awfully far away, right now.
“Then you better take me to bed right now,” Wei Wuxian says and reaches for the door handle, trusting Lan Zhan to hold him up once the door opens.
Except. It doesn’t.
Wei Wuxian tries the handle again, and again for good measure, but it still doesn’t budge.
It’s locked.
“Did you bring a key?” Lan Zhan asks and Wei Wuxian can already hear him laugh at him.
“I might have forgotten in my haste to get a good make-out session with you,” he sheepishly admits and he can’t even be mad when Lan Zhan laughs at him.
He loves hearing that sound.
“You’re an idiot. I married an idiot,” Lan Zhan complains and Wei Wuxian huffs.
“But you still married me, so you’re bound to this idiot for life.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Lan Zhan says as he noses under Wei Wuxian’s chin, peppering his throat with kisses.
Wei Wuxian tilts his head back to give him better access and he makes an unhappy noise in the back of his throat when Lan Zhan pulls away.
“We should call someone,” he says and Wei Wuxian groans.
“We’re not calling Jiang Cheng, he would never let us live this down,” he declares and Lan Zhan nods before he tilts his head.
“Not my brother, either,” he mumbles and Wei Wuxian has to laugh, because Lan Xichen is almost as bad as Jiang Cheng is.
“Not our son, that would just make everything awkward,” Wei Wuxian laughs and then gasps when Lan Zhan nips at the hinge of his jaw.
“Maybe later,” he breathlessly says and brings their lips together.
There’s no rush after all.