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Baekhyun’s whole life has been spent wondering. Wondering why the sky changes colors at sunset, why it changes at sunrise. Most importantly he wonders if he’ll ever find his other whole.
They say soulmates are two halves of a whole but that’s not true. While two halves make a whole, maybe when looking for your soulmate, you’re not looking for a half. But another whole.
It’s taken Baekhyun many years of his life to think of this. He’s been in several relationships, several friendships, all just wondering if they were his other half. But Baekhyun is not half of a person, and neither is his soulmate, he believes. He’d been going about it all wrong. But no matter what he tries, he always wonders if he’ll find that person.
He’s close to giving up trying, but you can’t always try when it comes to finding your soulmate. Sometimes things just happen when they happen, and they happen for a reason. The only thing keeping Baekhyun guessing is his inability to focus. By this he means he keeps finding himself in places that he doesn’t intend to. It’s like he’s walking with his brain off, the sound turned way down, and just goes wherever he’s being taken. It usually doesn’t bother him.
They say when you find your soulmate, your head is supposed to clear. But Baekhyun has his doubts with the many days he spends clouded and wandering.
Today of all days, Baekhyun finds himself in a peculiar bakery. The name, he didn’t catch as he walked in. Instead he was drawn in by the delightful smell of pastries and coffees. That’s enough to bring anyone crawling.
Baekhyun finds himself at the counter of this peculiar bakery, met by a man of similar height wearing a hat and a yellow apron. Baekhyun notes that the yellow isn’t very tasteful but the man behind the counter might be.
“What would you recommend?” Baekhyun asks.
“Anything,” the man replies. “But I’d definitely suggest an almond scone and a hazelnut latte to go with it.”
Baekhyun screws his eyes closed for a second in an attempt to finally focus on what’s going on, and opens them to read the name tag on the man’s apron.
Ten with a little heart. How endearing.
“I’ll take it!” Baekhyun says, standing up straighter and running a hand through his hair in a failed attempt to look put together.
The man stares at Baekhyun for a few minutes when Baekhyun realizes he still has to pay and has been standing there awkwardly, not even trying to find his wallet. He then goes to pay and walks away to wait for his drink and pastry.
After retrieving his little breakfast, he winks at the man once before finding himself following a new path and on his way out of the bakery and down the street.
Baekhyun would admit the scone was delicious and the latte was even better. He’d have to come back.
*
The next time Baekhyun finds himself in this bakery, he makes sure to check the name before he walks in. Moon Flower. He notes that the name is interesting, but not as interesting as the fact that the same man as before is working again.
“Come here often?” Baekhyun attempts to flirt, but it comes out sloppy. He blushes and mentally apologizes.
“I do work here.” Ten says.
“I’ll get another almond scone and hazelnut latte.” Baekhyun says simply, handing over a couple bills in a wad and waddling to the end of the counter while fumbling with the change.
Baekhyun didn’t even remember telling the man his name, but it’s written on his coffee cup in elegant chicken scratch with a smile next to it. Baekhyun smiles to himself too.
*
Baekhyun starts visiting Moon Flower once a week, twice a week, almost every day. Not sure why, but he always finds himself drawn there like an invisible string is pulling him in every time. He orders the same thing often enough that he starts to hand over exact change before Ten tells him the total. Ten looks impressed by the fourth or fifth visit (Baekhyun can’t remember but he’s sure Ten does. Ten remembers everything from his name to how he likes his coffee, and even that Baekhyun prefers his scones extra toasty.)
*
By his eleventh or twelfth visit, Ten offers to buy Baekhyun his usual and sits with him to talk for a while. They talk about everything under the sun, and moon for that matter. But most importantly Baekhyun realizes something. He’s starting to pay attention. It’s small things at first, like how Ten laughs abashedly after talking about his favorite things, or how he makes up voices to mimick his friends or coworkers. These little chats start with one but then turn into every so often. Baekhyun feels like his eyes are slowly opening.
But before he lets it get ahold of him, before he rushes into things, he slows down. He listens carefully to what Ten says every time and takes every word to heart to remember as much as he can by the time he leaves. And he wanders back home feeling satisfied every time, but the words fade nonetheless. No matter how hard he tries to remember their endless conversations, he can never remember them to the end.
He stares out his window at the sunset. Why does the sky always look so different every time? He wonders if Ten is looking out his window too. He wonders about a lot of things, but most importantly he wonders if he’ll ever sleep without a wonder in the world.
*
It’s a couple months before Baekhyun invites Ten over to his apartment for dinner. They’ve gone out to several places to eat, but this time Baekhyun wanted to cook.
Baekhyun learned, in the many months of them talking, that Ten owns the Moon Flower bakery. He bakes the pastries fresh every day and grinds his own coffee. Baekhyun is amazed at how anyone can have that much responsibility when he barely remembers to clean his home every week. He makes sure to make his place spotless before Ten comes by though. He cleans every nook and cranny with as much strength as he can muster with his thoughts everywhere. He wants to look as put together as Ten does.
Baekhyun makes them a small meal of pasta and even offers Ten wine. Ten accepts and they both converse over the smells of herbs and cooking pasta. Baekhyun’s not the best cook, but he tries. Ten seems pleased, but Baekhyun is positive it’s the wine.
Baekhyun barely drinks a glass while he offers Ten a second. Baekhyun could get drunk off of Ten alone, but would never admit it. He’s felt drunk since Ten got to his home, but also more awake than he’s felt in months.
Ten bids Baekhyun a goodnight with a quick kiss to his cheek and a promise of making it home safe. He lives in walking distance, he finds out, so he should make it just fine.
Baekhyun holds his cheek softly and shuts the door behind Ten. He crawls into bed shortly after and closes his eyes, doesn’t bother looking out at the sunset. Maybe it doesn’t matter so much to wonder about silly things.
*
Baekhyun wakes up at sunrise every morning and wonders. Wonder isn't such a bad thing, he thinks, but he wishes he could stop thinking about everything every day. He wishes he could just live with a clear head. And not be so bogged down with what the sunset and sunrise will look like when he finally finds his other whole. If he ever will.
Baekhyun looks out his window at the sunrise. It’s pink and purple and all the shades of color in between for just a brief moment before it’s bright and the sun is coming up full force now. He wonders if there will be pink and purple when he meets his soulmate. He crawls out of bed and absentmindedly puts on something presentable before making his way to the Moon Flower bakery.
“Will you please be mine?” Baekhyun asks when he bursts through the doors to the cafe. He sees Ten, bewildered, but luckily there are no customers or coworkers in sight when he asks.
“I’m sorry?” Ten asks, confused.
It’s not processing with the both of them, it seems. Baekhyun forgets for a split second that he really just said that out loud. Ten doesn’t realize he meant it. They laugh it off and Ten makes Baekhyun his coffee on the house.
On the cup he writes ”of course”.
*
“Why?” Ten asks while they lay in Ten’s bed together.
It’s the first time Baekhyun has been in a bed beside his own in years. He wonders how he ended up here.
“Why what?” Baekhyun asks.
“Why did you ask me to be yours?” Ten says.
“Do you ever watch at the sunset?” Baekhyun answers with a question.
Neither of them say anything for a while, but eventually they both find themselves on top of blankets in their pajamas sprawled out across Ten’s balcony without a single word. They watch the sunset together. It’s very orange this time. Baekhyun wonders what orange could mean. What any of the colors mean.
While he’s busy thinking about it, Ten leans over and gives him another kiss on the cheek. Baekhyun turns his head, startled, to find Ten leaning in to give him a real kiss this time. And they kiss slow like that, in front of the orange sunset, for what seems like hours.
*
Ten is still asleep in bed when Baekhyun wakes up. He quietly finds his way out to the balcony to watch the sunset. It’s purple and pink again. He smiles fondly at the sky before crawling back into bed. He curls up into Ten’s arms and goes back to sleep for a few hours. He wonders what Ten is dreaming about.
Little does Baekhyun know that Ten is dreaming about him.
*
In all the months Baekhyun has known Ten, he’s finally starting to realize something. Around everyone else, Baekhyun is in a lull. And around Ten, he could say he’s in a lull too, but a different kind. He can focus, open his eyes, and breathe. He actually remembers full conversations, he remembers little facts Ten tells him that Ten even forgets himself. He’s learned so much that months ago he would never ever even have the idea of remembering. He walks with his two feet solidly on the ground now, as before he would wander aimlessly it felt like.
“Do you believe in soulmates?” Baekhyun asks Ten.
They’re laying on Ten’s balcony again, this time with more padding and pillows than the time before.
“If they do exist,” Ten says. “I wouldn’t want mine to be anyone but you.”
Baekhyun hums at that and admires the sunset full of every color you can imagine. And for the first time, he doesn’t wonder anymore. He thinks he’s finally found it.
“Me too.” Baekhyun says.
And for the first time, he doesn’t wonder what the sunrise will look like tomorrow. He only knows that he’s found his place and even if it weren’t the right one, he’d end up there some day. But he’s pretty confident this is how it should be.